Jay & Miles by ColumbusGuy

[ColumbusGuy]

I was trying to save some effort by letting Tim know I fixed things here, since I had to answer his post here also.   

Yep, G, they were all Danish, so I was almost as clueless...I should know not to trust online translators, and one of them was just a typo, which was entirely my fault.

The really embarrassing bit was learning part of the translation screen got put in! 

[ColumbusGuy]

Here's a question for my readers--I need some feedback on an important point.

 

It's going to take forever to get anywhere if the current pace of one or two days per chapter is kept up, and I've got a head full of scenes that want to come out into the light...so what do you think I should do?  At the moment, I can see two options, but there are probably more that you can come up with--I'd like to hear them and figure out how to proceed.  I am NOT getting tired of the story by any means...but Linda's Graduation is calling, as is the Summer holiday. 

 

Option 1: Each chapter is a weekly digest of events, giving a short look at each day;

Option 2: Each chapter focuses on one or two major scenes of that week, and may involve all the guys, or maybe several of the couples.

 

Very open to other ideas and suggestions.  Now that the pairings are established, do we need a day-by-day reveal?  How many times can you study together before the readers get bored? 

[LitLover]

Honesty?  I think it depends what is happening.  For example, you could probably condense a week or two where they're just hanging out at the farm, but you might want to give more importance and time to graduation or Jay's brother visiting.  Ultimately, it's going to be what your characters dictate things to be. 

[Timothy M.]

I'm in favor of option two, but with a twist.

 

I think you should let the story return to being mainly a Jay and Mikey tale and let the other couples have spin-off stories relating to how their relationship develops. They should mainly appear in this story as friends of J&M, and only have a major role here if our boys are involved in the situation. We are invested enough in Greg & Denny and Benny & Calvin to follow them into separate stories - or perhaps one joint story for those two couples.

[ColumbusGuy]

Man, an embarrassment of riches in just two posts! 

 

In a way, Lit's suggestion is the way the story works now, just dropping a little more of the daily details...it might be more like how I originally thought of the story before I got to know the boys and listen to their story.

 

And yet, Tim's idea  is almost the same, but seems far more extreme by having the other couples in another storyline.  It almost seems like I'd be abandoning them, or they are ditching Jay and Miles.    It has never occurred to me that they could be their own story, but they are far more than just being supporting characters now.  I wonder if I could pull off another storyline set in my home town?  Or find enough words to make another interestingly long one?  

 

Gonna have to think about this more than I planned, I guess.    My initial thought was to get on to summer and maybe the Senior Year story before we all died of old age....

[skinnydragon]

I sort of like what Lit said, especially if you don't think you have enough material for Tim's suggestion (which is a great choice, btw).

 

But Lit had the concept time dependent. Why not have it activity dependent. For example, if the boys wanted to put a spoiler on the back of the truck (hehe  ) you could cluster a few chapters around that event and involve whatever supporting cast you wanted, without needing to focus on a slice of their (the supporting cast's) lives. In that way J&M would always remain the focus, but you would continue to flesh out their friends and make them more 3-dimensional too.

[ColumbusGuy]

Thank you all for the suggestions...that's a lot to mull over, and AC suggested an option of devoting a chapter to each couple, and rotating them in turn as well.

For the moment, and with the difficulties I've got now, I think spin-offs are a bit much for me to handle--I'd never get to read anyone else's work here.  :

It seems the last chapters have sort of devoted themselves to one main couple, and I try not to get too many POVs in one chapter.  I think Easter was a sort of special event since it took on so much significance through Tim's amazing slant on Danish traditions.  I tossed in my own recollections of watching religious epics on tv...something I still do, and surprisingly, those same old movies are the best.  I've tried later versions of the same stories, but all the latest ones seem to try to be gritty real0life dramas rather than entertainment or inspiration.  I'll settle for epics which stick to inspiration rather than reducing the tales to a period rendition of a modern reality show.  No need to say that I loved the series I, Claudius with Derek Jacobi is there?

A spoiler on an antique pick-up truck, SD?  What a hoot!  I'm thinking the new direction of a time-driven chapter like Lit says, and also an event-driven one per SD may be best...it fits in with the way things have been done so far, just moves it along faster.  I'm thinking the next one will get Ben and Cal in the study group, then we can move along since it's nearing the end of a six-weeks grading period, then  finals come at the end of the next period.  It seems at some point in the last thirty years my school switched to a ten week grading period rather than the six I'd known my whole school career. 

Some stuff coming up to consider might be the dinner with Miles' and Jay's parents...more truck work, and perhaps starting plans for the summer.  With luck, I'll get some ideas for Chapter 42 soon. 

[ColumbusGuy]

Just sent Gary Chapter 42, I hope he can think of a title, along with fixing my errors.    About 7k words before he sharpens his axe. 

[Headstall]

Just sent Gary Chapter 42, I hope he can think of a title, along with fixing my errors.    About 7k words before he sharpens his axe. 

You have it back now... all done... I did Lit's just before, and then got yours in my inbox...

[Timothy M.]

Just sent Gary Chapter 42, I hope he can think of a title, along with fixing my errors.    About 7k words before he sharpens his axe. 

 

You have it back now... all done... I did Lit's just before, and then got yours in my inbox...

 

The Efficient Axe Man

 

I look forward to reading it.

[ColumbusGuy]

It's up now Tim...hope you like it.  Sorry there isn't any new Danish in it--I'm open to any phrases you think I should throw in, they might inspire me like your one about two souls did.

How are the twins and Team Rob doing?  Not hollering loud enough yet to get your attention? 

[Timothy M.]

It's up now Tim...hope you like it.  Sorry there isn't any new Danish in it--I'm open to any phrases you think I should throw in, they might inspire me like your one about two souls did.

How are the twins and Team Rob doing?  Not hollering loud enough yet to get your attention? 

 

There will be a new Rob chapter shortly and I'm working on the twins

 

I'll be back to read your chapter tonight (at work now).

[Timothy M.]

sorry about the truck confusion. I realize now they were always working on Jay's car, right? I don't know why I thought they were working on Mikey's car.

[ColumbusGuy]

I'm glad it wasn't my confusion--Gary fixed a couple sentences which were awkwardly worded on my part...sometimes you can see or know what you want to put down, and the words just won't come out right.

Mikey's car has been done for a year, it only needed minor body work and paint touch-ups.  The focus is now on the boys and fathers getting Jay's truck in good shape--it's fine mechanically, but needs a lot of body work.  It was a big deal back then for kids to fix their own cars--a sort of status symbol or mark of pride.  Jerry and his friend Tom did the electrical, and good maintenance has meant it runs great--but Jerry let the body get rusty by leaving it in the rain and stuff...maybe he was occupied with trying to figure himself out?

By hinting that the week will mostly be studying, I'm thinking that we can move ahead a bit...of course I threw a wrench into things by having Cal's grandmother invited....I just never learn to curb my impulses.

Loved your chapter!

[ColumbusGuy]

Chapter 43 is up, Gary did a really quick edit, fixing a clumsy section for me...that's what I get for writing at 4A.M.

I hope everybody likes it!  Where have all my reviewers gone...?  Have I run out of interesting things at last?

[Timothy M.]

Where have all my reviewers gone...?  Have I run out of interesting things at last?

 

Well, I was asleep, lol. Nope, plenty of interesting stuff, but we all seem to hit the reduction in views and reviews on our long stories (except Mann and Gary )

[ColumbusGuy]

I know Eagle has been away with family problems, and my friend Palantir isn't around a lot since he's working on his new story...but what of the ladies from COTT like Litlover and Cazpedroso?  I haven't been to that forum much since I got home...it moves too fast for me to keep track with my narration software, so maybe they think I'm not interested in them anymore?

 

On a side note, my narration stuff has problems with smileys...it often won't read a line which has one in it...just today I noticed that if a smiley is all there is, it may describe it.  I can't figure that out at all.

 

I loved your latest post, and am off to read your review!  Tusind tak in advance, min ven.  Is there a good online Danish course I could try?  Preferably free?

[ColumbusGuy]

Hey Tim, the part where Greg and Lee talk is in Chapter 30...and Greg and Jeff talk about Lee a bit in Chapter 26 if I remember right, as they walk to the bus stop before school...

[Timothy M.]

I know Eagle has been away with family problems, and my friend Palantir isn't around a lot since he's working on his new story...but what of the ladies from COTT like Litlover and Cazpedroso?

 

I know Litlover has been busy - not just with writing Unforgivale, but also life in general. Same with Caz I think, she's also 'behind' with reviews on my stories.

[Headstall]

CG has the next chapter back in his hands... as usual, another great one...

[ColumbusGuy]

Man, I must be slacking if my beloved beta lets you guys know I wrote a new chapter. 

 

No excuses, except I was distracted from working on it about half way by a story on Nifty about a man and his quest to help adopt abused children.  I'm about three-quarters done, and apologize for my tardiness.  If you're interested, it's called 'Joel' and has six books.  It's in the Adult-Youth category of the Gay section--it has NO sex in it, and deals mostly with the struggles of the main character as he tries to make such kids lives better.  There are moments in it that have made me cry and want to rake some CPS agencies over the coals for letting some cases of abuse and neglect go unpunished.

 

I hope you like Chapter 44, it's an attempt at moving the pace up a bit, and hopefully not at the expense of the story.  Let me know if it works for you!

[ColumbusGuy]

It occurred to me earlier this morning that Gary does a lot more for me than just read--especially since my vision problems began at Christmas...so I've promoted him on the story page to Editor.

 

He's always done more than read, giving valuable insights and suggestions when I was wandering and in danger of making a bad call in the plot.  He knows and sees the boys in the same light I do, and I told him at one point that I'd let him take over if anything happened to me, but he said no...and yet, he's given me a lot of help when I was stymied or needed advice on how to make a chapter better.

 

That kind of help goes beyond 'beta-ing', so since I can't pay him money, I've made him a listing which far better reflects all he does for me.

 

I love you Gary, and never more so than when your calls while I was in the rehab center kept my spirits up and desire to return to GA alive.

 

XOXOXOXOXOXO

[Headstall]

It occurred to me earlier this morning that Gary does a lot more for me than just read--especially since my vision problems began at Christmas...so I've promoted him on the story page to Editor.

 

He's always done more than read, giving valuable insights and suggestions when I was wandering and in danger of making a bad call in the plot.  He knows and sees the boys in the same light I do, and I told him at one point that I'd let him take over if anything happened to me, but he said no...and yet, he's given me a lot of help when I was stymied or needed advice on how to make a chapter better.

 

That kind of help goes beyond 'beta-ing', so since I can't pay him money, I've made him a listing which far better reflects all he does for me.

 

I love you Gary, and never more so than when your calls while I was in the rehab center kept my spirits up and desire to return to GA alive.

 

XOXOXOXOXOXO

I love you too, buddy XOXOXOXOXOOXOXOXO

[ColumbusGuy]

I guess I should update everybody about what's going on.

I've been tied up reading a series of long stories over at Nifty full of great characters and plotting, so I've been slow working on my own writing.  I'm so sorry for that--I was having trouble starting 45, and didn't expect to get caught up in a story about baseball or one about the adoption of troubled kids by a single man.  The people in these stories by separate authors meant I couldn't just stop and do something else--they were that good.

Anyhow, I'm caught up with them all, and yesterday found myself with ideas and the pixels stirring in my blood, so I got down to brass tacks, and have jotted down about 2k words so far. 

I think you'll like it...but it's not anywhere ready for Gary's keen eyes.  Soon, I hope, I'm on a roll as long as sleep doesn't claim me at odd hours.

[Headstall]

Okay, buddy... chapter 45 is done and returned... great chapter! I'll try to come up with more titles if those don't work for you... very tired, my friend... xoxo