Jay & Miles by ColumbusGuy

[skinnydragon]

I agree with Gary, CG. If you love your characters, you feel all their emotions.

 

I cried when Danny died and cried even harder as I wrote the following chapter, where David talked about the pile of unfulfilled dreams. I don't even want to tell you what I was thinking in the final suicide chapters. I even wrote three possible chapters for that one, and in one he DID commit suicide. Now that was difficult to write and I was worthless for several days!

 

So, no, you do get to live with your characters!

[ColumbusGuy]

Those two chapters were hard for me to read, Skinny, so you did a wonderful job.  I'm SO glad you didn't allow David to succeed in his suicide attempt...it was difficult as it was, but the happy ending with Twoey just felt right--sometimes Destiny can work out for the good of her victims.  

With my own chapter of Miles trying it, I knew it wouldn't succeed--there were no choices to have it work--but that churned up so many memories for me that I was shaken up for a while.  I guess the only factor which kept me from trying it was my cowardice, and maybe the faint voice which told me my Mr. Right could come along some day, but not if I ended it all.

Tragically ironic that the star of my longest relationship would eventually succumb to the fate I didn't have the guts to try.  Kevin has shown up in the storyalready, but only to be seen in the lunchroom...I don't know how or if I'll even use him; I plan on using one or two scenes for Miles to have with Jay, but I'm torn on him taking a role of any sort--he deserves a tribute, and yet it's still pretty hard to write about him.

Work on 47 tomorrow, I swear--I'm caught up here and I'm taking a short break from Billy Chase...five and a half books in a row was a bit depressing and doesn't help my cold. 

[ColumbusGuy]

Sorry for the delay with the next chapter...I've been down with a cold or flu and have had no energy, just enough to keep up with stories and that's about it.

I had a scene in my head last week, and I'll get on working it into the chapter...it should fit pretty well.

 

In other news, I finally got my third surgery lined up; it was due in April, but I got sick, and then had no transport...now, I have transport thanks to my friend Mike, and I have an exam on the 19th to check in with the doctor, then the surgery to replace the fluids in my right eye should be on the 24th.  It's outpatient stuff, and the options are saline solution, oil or gas which my body would gradually force out by producing it's own natural fluid.  That option would entail a slightly longer period of about a week, but it's all at home...the problem I think would be almost no vision for that time if I recall correctly.

I won't know which option will be chosen until the exam--initially, they thought the second one as the surgery might not have given the retina enough support, but consulting with the head of ophthalmology hinted that that wouldn't be a problem.

 

All I'm hoping for at this point is that the hazy interference will be gone, which would give me back more detail which I had at the start of recovery.

 

Again, I'll try to get the next chapter moving as soon as I can--guilt is making me crazy. 

 

[Headstall]

Sorry for the delay with the next chapter...I've been down with a cold or flu and have had no energy, just enough to keep up with stories and that's about it.

I had a scene in my head last week, and I'll get on working it into the chapter...it should fit pretty well.

 

In other news, I finally got my third surgery lined up; it was due in April, but I got sick, and then had no transport...now, I have transport thanks to my friend Mike, and I have an exam on the 19th to check in with the doctor, then the surgery to replace the fluids in my right eye should be on the 24th.  It's outpatient stuff, and the options are saline solution, oil or gas which my body would gradually force out by producing it's own natural fluid.  That option would entail a slightly longer period of about a week, but it's all at home...the problem I think would be almost no vision for that time if I recall correctly.

I won't know which option will be chosen until the exam--initially, they thought the second one as the surgery might not have given the retina enough support, but consulting with the head of ophthalmology hinted that that wouldn't be a problem.

 

All I'm hoping for at this point is that the hazy interference will be gone, which would give me back more detail which I had at the start of recovery.

 

Again, I'll try to get the next chapter moving as soon as I can--guilt is making me crazy. 

STOP feeling guilty, buddy!!! The fact you've been producing at all is amazing... we can wait for J and M... as much as we love them, we love you more xoxoxo G-man

[Timothy M.]

STOP feeling guilty, buddy!!! The fact you've been producing at all is amazing... we can wait for J and M... as much as we love them, we love you more xoxoxo G-man

 

Yup, what Gary said. No guilt, buddy. I haven't posted anything either.

[ColumbusGuy]

Sorry guys...remembering how easy all this used to be, and how it is now, I just get scared sometimes.  My boys and you all mean so much to me that I think that's all that keeps me going sometimes.  I wish I could be in the forum again to share all the fun, but it just moves too fast for me, and my narrator doesn't filter out crap like reading picture captions, titles or things like multiquote when all I want is the person's name and what they are writing, so I feel pretty isolated.  So, I try to make up for it in reviews, but it's not the same.

 

With being sick, I guess I've just been depressed, but it gave me time to also go back and read JM again--first to keep a chapter ahead of Geron's reviews, then, just to get the feel for my boys back.

 

It didn't help that I finished a story this morning which had me crying pretty hard over the ending--the main guy's hopes for love just seemed doomed by events he had no control over, but he did wind up happy, just not with the two people who meant the most to him.  It's a tearful story called Groovy Kind of Love at Awesome Dude...well worth a look, but be prepared for tears.

Having dinner tomorrow with Mike, who I've known through my friend Derik for ages, but we really hadn't hung out until Derik came home in March to help me with my computer.  He's a computer nerd too, but more on the hardware side of it, he fixes up ancient machines just for the challenge of making them work again. 

 

Way off topic, so I'm off to do crap again, hopefully to try writing as well.

[Timothy M.]

There is no off topic here, we like to hear what you are doing. And I'm always ready to lend a shoulder to be miserable on. HUG 

 

I guess the above is a hint not to make quotes in this thread, if we want our posts to be easier for you to read. And we need to send you more PMs.

[ColumbusGuy]

Quotes are fine.    PMs are good, I just hate deleting old ones, not that I really look at them any more, but I do keep up on the ones relating to Danish translations, and a couple by AC and Zarek and Geron.  Ones that have been around for three years could go I guess, I'm just lazy, and I'm not consuming much space so I'm not unduly concerned.

I email a couple people like Ivor, and a nifty author whose stories I really like--just wish he'd come to GA.

I've always been sort of a loner, and I do get out every week with Mike, but before the Loner bit was by choice, not because it is far harder to get around now. 

I'm whining, ignore me...it's more boredom than anything else right now--there hasn't been anything good on cable to distract me.

Now if Rob or the twins were up to something...

[ColumbusGuy]

Hey guys,

 

Doctor's appointment Wednesday was sucky.  Got there on time, and waited more than two hours to see her.  They tried some pics to see what was happening, and then the doctor used this magnifier thing to look inside to check out the retina and new lens...this was to see about scheduling the fluid replacement for the eye.

Well, it's not all good news; there is some scarring around the lens which is interfering with the vision, so she couldn't get as good a look inside as she wanted, and she thinks we might need to reattach a small section of the retina, but she won't know for sure until the surgery, which will now involve removing the scar tissue as well as fluid replacement, and possible work on a part of the retina.  This can all be done along with the fluid replacement, it just means longer surgery.  I opted for a general anaesthetic rather than a local--did that for the lens surgery in December, and there's no way I can lie still for three hours with my arthritis and stuff...it was agony then, so I don't want to do that again.

So, what with her and my friend's schedules, surgery will be on November 14th, probably around 1pm.  I guess my friend Mike can sleep in the waiting room. 

Trying hard to be upbeat, but it's not easy.  I've tried all my life to be nice and help others, and yet, my life sucks at every opportunity it can.

Caught up here, guess I'll try writing some Jay, that ought to help.

Think nice thoughts for me...I could use some good vibes on the 14th.

  Marlin

[Timothy M.]

Oh buddy, I'm sorry you didn't get good news on the eye surgery. I'll definitely be thinking of you and sending good vibes on the 14th. I hope it's successful and the outcome as good as possible. Give Mike a hug from us and tell him we're grateful you have a good friend who's there for you in our place.

If giving Jay and Miles some good time with and without their friends will keep your mind of things, we'll be happy to get a new chapter. I have just finished a CC chapter, but it will take a while before it's ready to post, since both Kitt and AC are very busy. But I have an Angel / Imp story for the Anthology which should come out in November, hopefully before your surgery.

 

All the best, Tim.

[Caz Pedroso]

My prayers and best wishes are always with you CG. I will pray everything goes perfectly on the 14th.  

[dughlas]

You have my prayers and hope for better things.

[Defiance19]

Hey CG... 

 

Always thinking of you.. Will definitely be keeping you in my prayers and sending you best wishes on the 14th... 

[Reader1810]

Hey CG

 

You're in my thoughts and prayers and I wish you boundless luck on November 14.   

 

Reader

[Headstall]

I understand it's hard to think positively, my dear friend. But! These guys know what they are doing, and now there is more of an explanation for you not improving as you hoped. I am going to pray that the scar tissue had been the culprit, and maybe even the reattachment will make a big improvement. Tell Mike I send him thanks for looking after our friend. Much love, buddy... we'll talk soon xoxoxo G-man

[Mikiesboy]

We haven't spoken for some time but I'm hoping for the best for you. Hopefully this surgery will repair what's needed and you'll have a positive outcome. 

 

thinking of you,

 

tim xo

[ColumbusGuy]

Guys, your words and wishes for a good result mean so much to me...it just shows me that you are all good people and friends even at a distance.  I wish I could hang out in the forum with all of you again, but maneuvering via narrator and arrow keys is a pain with how short most messages there are--I'd wear out my keyboard skipping the non-essentials to get to your actual words, and you can't know how frustrating that is until you try it.  I can have the narrator read everything with two keystrokes, but to skip things like quote and report and number of posts and titles takes a press of the down arrow each time, and if I want a link to push, I have to stop the narrator and use the left or right arrows to get to the button if I can't find it easily via mouse.

I wish there was a way to do this all by voice commands, but I haven't got the staggeringly expensive software to do that, even if it works as I'd like. 

With luck the new surgery will get me back where I was after the first surgeries, but who knows. 

My heart just got all warm and fuzzy with your responses.  You are my family, far more than my blood relatives--my two remaining older sisters and gay nephew haven't talked to me since just after my first operation in December when they all turned their backs on me.  Pardon my French, but fuck 'em, I have good online friends, and several real life ones who stood by me and went out of their way to help me when I needed it. 

I love each and every one of you, don't ever doubt that...maybe the tide of guilt you've engendered will get me working on my JM chapter 47--it's been remarkably quiet lately not demanding my attention. 

I had a scene involving Jay last night, but I'm having trouble remembering it, damn it.  Still got the Calvin one crystal clear at least.

Hugs to you all, and semi-chaste kisses on the cheek too. 

[Headstall]

Taking the easy way out... just got this review from CG... as you can see, we don't know anything yet as to results of his surgery... I'll keep everyone posted after I talk to him... sounds like he's out for the count tonight...

 

(Chapter 31 Review)

Dang, not the first reviewer again, but I'm closer, and have a reason this time beyond laziness. Didn't get home until after 8pm. Most of that was at the hospital, but the last hour and half was spent at my favorite pizza place with Mike. You get hungry not having eaten since before midnight.
This was a great chapter, and I liked how earnest Warren is about being useful for the Pack, and worthy of Adelin.
I had to laugh at Warren being told he better let his mate pick their new house!
*I heard only one error, when Denver and Warren meet, you refer to Kellar as Kendall--got those boys on the brain, G?* I hate airing your dirty laundry this way, but I'm taking the easy way rather than send a pm or email...lack of sleep and the pain from my surgery is doing me in right now. Follow up appointment tomorrow at 3pm, so I don't know anything right now except that the doctor told Mike the op went well. Don't know anything they did except replacing the fluid, but there was other stuff. G-Man, call me tomorrow evening when I'll have more info. Your message made me smile my face off, and I was sad because I missed talking to you.
xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

 

At least we know he's okay   .... cheers, all... he knows we love him....

[LitLover]

That sounds like great news hopefully we'll have CG around more now

[Timothy M.]

Can't believe I missed that Kendall

sorry about that, but   of CG to catch it.

Fingers crossed for him and Tim today.

[Headstall]

Can't believe I missed that Kendall

sorry about that, but   of CG to catch it.

Fingers crossed for him and Tim today.

I missed it too

[Timothy M.]

I missed it too

 

Yeah, but I'm your editor, I'm supposed to find typos like that.

[Headstall]

Yeah, but I'm your editor, I'm supposed to find typos like that.

Hell, I edit too... it's impossible to be perfect...

[ColumbusGuy]

Just a quick note--I honestly didn't think my last chapter was in August!  Now I feel really bad.

It was becoming harder to do stuff on the pc because of some scar tissue which grew behind the lens in my right eye, and that was revealed in my exam a few weeks ago, not to mention that the oil which was put in that eye had some bubbles in it since it was in longer than intended thanks to my getting a cold when I should have had it replaced.

I had my operation this past Monday, then a follow-up appointment yesterday wi h the doctor.  The oil was removed and replaced with saline solution, the scar tissue removed from behind the lens, and I got lucky in that no more retina had become detached as my doctor thought might have happened.

So, everything went very well, and I can read the computer screen again and watch tv, but I'll try not to let that distract me from writing. 

On that front, Chapter 47, which had been stalled at 450 words for lack of ideas and difficulty seeing, got some much needed attention last night.  I can't vouch for the inspiration, but it's up to 1500 words, and seems to be doing okay.

I missed a call from Gary Monday evening since I didn't get home until after 8pm, and I caught him last night before my friend Mike left--but for some reason I lost the connection before arranging to talk again.  I don't know what was up with that, G-Man...it's a land line through my cable, and I think maybe Mike starting a movie on my pc might have caused something--I'm no computer geek, so that's about all I could figure.

Thank god I only have to do two eye drops this time--after the first surgeries, I was up to seven, each at least three times a day!  These two are once a day for one, and four times daily for the second...much more workable for me to do myself.

Hugs to all my readers for their patience--and special hugs and kisses to a certain Ontarian for keeping me in touch with GA when I was in rehab and without a computer connection.

[Headstall]

Here is the link for Dirty Pool you requested....

 

https://www.gayauthors.org/story/headstall/dirtypool