Is Sexually Explicit Needed In Gay Stories?

[alex canton]

I have been writing stories, short novels, and a novel on gay themesclassi since a few years ago.  Since my background has been more clinical than anything else, my work is practically devoid of "hot, steamy sex."  This has lead to some readers feeling that something is missing -- explicit sex scenes.

My writing centers around themes, and I have been more interested in the end messages and have found no need to reinforce gayness by sexual scenes. I do not write erotica -- not my genre of interest. 

Nevertheless, I wonder if I am doing something wrong in this aspect.  

I would like your opinion.

[Daddydavek]

Gratuitous sex scenes are not a sign of serious writing.  However, if writing about late teens and older, sex is an important part of life and to exclude that or only mention by innuendo may not be in character with the way people actually are.   Most ordinary people have fairly active sex fantasies and few complain that they have more sex than they can handle.  So like everything else, I think an author has to strike a balance.  Writing about a well established couple need not have much explicit sex description as they have already been through the "discovery" phase and now it's more about doing what pleases their mate based on experience.  Writing about young guys just entering a relationship without exploring their sexuality would be inauthentic in my humble opinion.

[alex canton]

It makes sense. Thank you.

[Valkyrie]

Are explicit sex scenes 'needed'?  Not necessarily.  It depends on your story and what audience you are writing for.  There are ways to write sensually without being explicit.  Bad sex scenes can detract from an otherwise good story. Sometimes leaving it up to the imagination is a good thing. 

[Former Member]

I may be new to writing, but I've been reading this genre for well over 2 decades. My personal favorites have been stories that focus on the characters, the situations they get themselves in, and the resolution of those situations.

 

There are times where it makes sense for there to be an interaction of a sexual nature, but only when it is needed to enhance the story, and never the vulgar, dripping, interludes many sites use to keep their readers 'entertained'.

 

So, if a sex scene is necessary to develop the character or his/her development, I feel it doesn't detract from the story, but can be tastefully done.

 

Just my two cents.

[Headstall]

I think they belong only if they make sense in the story. They can be beautiful if they are an expression of love between the characters, but they can detract if it is sex with no love... no emotional connection... in my humble opinion. If it affirms what you are building in the story, then it usually works, but if it comes across as a mechanical exercise, it becomes a waste of the readers time. And it should never be the prime focus of the story... again, just my opinion. Good luck to you... Gary

 

Edit: To put it another way, IMO, if the scene is to titillate, it doesn't belong... if it fulfills, then it does...

Edited May 12, 2015 by Headstall

[alex canton]

It seems that I may have been doing it right. If it does not enhance the characters' story it doesn't belong to my work.

[dughlas]

As a reader I agree with Gary (Headstall). I also admit to on occassion skipping over the sex, particularly if I have come to relate to the characters as if they were friends. I liken it to peeping in someone's window.

[Headstall]

As a reader I agree with Gary (Headstall). I also admit to on occassion skipping over the sex, particularly if I have come to relate to the characters as if they were friends. I liken it to peeping in someone's window.

As a reader, I totally understand that, which is why I say if the intent is to only excite the reader, then it I find it jarring to the story. As an author, I strive to show the beauty of what my characters share, and the fulfillment the act gives them. As corny as it may sound, I feel it is an extension of love, and thus, in my mind, it is a lovemaking as opposed to a sex scene. Sexual intimacy is beautiful and natural, and while it can be uninhibited, I don't think the sharing of it should ever be base. I feel a certain responsibility as a writer to infuse such scenes with a love and emotion that connects the characters in a very human way. To be truthful, I would prefer not to write these scenes... they have a difficult aspect to them... but I will not shy away from telling the complete story... I just try my best to do the love of the characters justice and let the readers decide how they receive such scenes... Cheers... Gary

 

Edit: I find that it is what follows these scenes that is most important to the story... those special moments that follow the lovemaking, often take me as a reader, and a writer, to a whole different level, and gives the story and the characters a much deserved depth... something to be cherished....

Edited May 12, 2015 by Headstall

[JamesSavik]

I'd say it depends on the story, the characters and whether or not it rings true.

 

I once read a story at Nifty where the characters were all middle school age... and having orgies... and doing things that would make a sailor blush and certainly kill the donkey.

 

This is the point when I hit the back button and move on.

 

There is a lot of playful sex in my story Nightfall. It's not especially graphic- where it really could have been raunchy, it was off camera or left to the imagination.

 

The point wasn't about sex. It was about several young couples (18-21) in love. 

 

In some of my other stories it's there but it's specifically part of the plot and not a dirty picture thrown in to keep the guys in the dark glasses and rain coats reading.

 

I'm making drama, not p0rn. There is a difference.

Edited May 12, 2015 by jamessavik

[alex canton]

Yes, Silly Cat, it is important to make a difference between writing porn and writing a gay theme. Thank you.

[Krista]

Sex in romance is used to bring the romance full circle. Although the story may not end with them in love or together - or there may be multiple sex partners within the story. Especially if it is a coming of age, first love sort of story. Then a "fade to black," or "innuendo," won't be enough for readers. We want to see the culmination within the relationship. We don't want to feel that there is doubt. 

 

So if people are thinking that something is lacking with your romances or relationships and it is sex, you have likely created a story and progressed the story to that natural event. For it 'not' to happen after that, is a detraction from the story - for most people.

 

Sex should be considered important to the plot. Where people branch into smut/erotica, is when there is more sex or those scenes completely eclipse the plot. 

[scotty94]

I dont think explicit sex scene are needed in a story but I feel it pulls the story along taking examples from my own experiences, sex was a very large part of my teenage years (sorry if this is a little bit to much info but I need to write it to get my point across) my sex scene aren't to explicit and they never border on erotica, mostly first times most of my story feature teenager, in fact they all do and I feel sex bring two people closer together it's not needed but when you express that love in your writing it's a great achievement. sex is natural for a human being so I dont think it should be excluded from writing no matter what genres or genres the story is, but if you feel uncomfortable love is expressed in many different ways not just sex.

[Graeme]

I've never put a sex scene in any of my stories. I may not be the most popular author here, but I've never been told I should include explicit sex.

 

What's the definition of a gay story? Are my stories 'gay' because I'm gay, or because I have characters who happen to be gay? Does a story have to be explicitly about gay 'issues' to be gay?

 

I have gay characters. I have stories that deal with gay 'issues'. I've written stories about gay love. I've never needed to include explicit sex, and I've never had a complaint about that.

 

Now, if the topic was whether explicit sex is needed in gay erotica, then I can see an argument for making such stories sexually explicit. But even there, there's a certain appeal to leave the details to the reader and just fade-to-black at the appropriate time.

[Kitt]

All the responses you have gotten so far seem to be from an authors point of view. I thought perhaps you would like one readers pov.

 

For me, while I do enjoy most sex scenes in a story, it is not the reason I am reading. IF it fits it should be included, if it is just tossed in to draw the reader looking for erotic content it should not be.

 

A well written story with interesting subject matter should not need sex to sell it.

 

The bottom line, and something I tell authors I work with regularly, is that it is YOUR story. It should be told to YOUR satisfaction. If you are not pleased with the finished product, how can you expect any one else to be?

[Zombie]

What's the definition of a gay story? Are my stories 'gay' because I'm gay, or because I have characters who happen to be gay? Does a story have to be explicitly about gay 'issues' to be gay?

 

I think gayness has to be integral to the story to be a "gay story". So it's not a plot or character element that could equally be substituted with another and the story work just as well. As for explicitness, just how graphic it is will largely be down to taste - of the author and their readers. And, as the saying goes, there's no accounting for taste Maybe the issue is whether it's justified. Or, as Krista pointed out, just good ole' plain-brown-paper-wrapped smut

 

 

 

 

 

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Edited May 13, 2015 by Zombie

[Krista]

I am getting more graphic with my sex scenes. I'm still not all that comfortable with doing so. The last couple of stories that I have worked on, the first one dealt with characters a bit young, so I didn't want to delve that far into what they did with their clothes off..  The story I'm working on now, they're both well into their twenties, so I'm feeling a bit less confined by that. Not saying I'll make anyone blush, aside from myself. But it can be freeing to just 'go there' in a story as well.

 

All in the confines of what you want. I hope, in my first response, that I didn't come across as pushing for explicit sex scenes.  I wasn't trying to. There's endless ways to write a sex scene. You can be down right G-rated with it.. or you can be Late night Cinemax.. lol.. or worse. Do what you are comfortable with and what fits the story you created.

 

Although, if you wish to market the story as romance and not adult/fiction or even erotica, then it needs to be toned down and a bit low-key... or maybe the word is, classy?

Edited May 14, 2015 by Krista

[JamesSavik]

You don't have to be really raunchy to set a hot scene. I think it works better to tap into your readers own imagination to fill in details.

 

 

 

Just before the last bell I got a text:  My folks are going out of town 4 weekend. Come over! I'm grilling.

 

I almost fell down the steps. Brandon wants me to come over? That made me feel really excited and gave me a goofy grin.

 

The rest of the afternoon seemed to creep by. My parents were cool about things and I made it to Brandon's house about six.

 

True enough, he had the grill hot and he put a few shrimp shh-ka-bobs on to cook. 

 

We ate and played video games until it got dark and Brandon gave me a look with a raised eyebrow.

 

"What?"

 

"You want to go swimming?"

 

"I didn't bring a suit."

 

"Who needs a suit?"

 

I guess I got tongue-tied and Brandon just grinned. He took me by the hand and I followed him into his back yard to a hot tub. 

 

I could see him in the dark dropping his clothes and I eagerly followed suit.

 

He took me by the hand and led me into the bubbling warm froth.

[Timothy M.]

A story doesn't have to include sexual scenes for me to like it. But if there is sex going on as part of the story, I want to know about it. It doesn't have to be explicit or written in every detail, but the 'fade-to-black and leave everything to the reader's imagination' approach annoys me. Mostly because a lot of writers here have a much better imagination than me.

 

I won't stop reading due to a lack of sex scenes, but I might grumble a bit in reviews if there is a lot of 'off-stage sex.' It's different if the main part of the story is about all the other things happening in the lives of your characters. I suggest you simply tag your stories appropriately (no sex) and tell readers like me to 'take it or leave it.'

[J.HunterDunn]

I've never put a sex scene in any of my stories. I may not be the most popular author here, but I've never been told I should include explicit sex.

 

 

 

Graeme,

 

Your stories are great and don't need explicit sex.

 

I think you underestimate your popularity. I appreciate your stories a lot more than the stories of (more popular?) authors, who seem to think that every chapter should at least have one explicit sex scene to be good. It gets boring after a while.

 

Alex,

 

I think you should follow your own feeling. Just like every author is different, every reader is different. You can't please them all. If the writing is good the readers will find their way to you.

 

JHD

Edited May 14, 2015 by J.HunterDunn

[jkeele777]

I'm a little late to the topic, but I'll add my two cents for what it's worth. I don't know that sexually explicit or graphic scenes are necessary, but it would completely depend on the story. Some of my own writing includes graphic violence, some of a sexual nature, and other societal taboos, including heavy recreational drug use by minors. Two of my favorite stories are A New Life / Life Goes On by The Eggman, and Substitute Dad by Scribe1971. The Eggman is sexually explicit, and very descriptive throughout these works, but without that, the characters wouldn't share the same bond. Scribe1971 on the other hand, sometimes refers to sex between partners or couples, but actively avoids graphic description unless it's essential to a scene. In this case, if you added more graphic sex, the story would be completely different and maybe a little creepy. So there's my way too long response! Happy Wednesday!

[Former Member]

Now, if the topic was whether explicit sex is needed in gay erotica, then I can see an argument for making such stories sexually explicit. But even there, there's a certain appeal to leave the details to the reader and just fade-to-black at the appropriate time.

 

There is an adage that sometimes less is more. It's my opinion that while sometimes there are needs to make certain details clear to a reader in order to further a story, I find it compelling, and actually it enhances the story when the 'details' of what actually happened during a 'fade to black' are left up to my own 'sick' ( ) imagination.

Edited May 27, 2015 by Atruefan

[JackBinimbul]

I have some fairly graphic sex scenes in Painted Blue, so I'm coming at this from the other angle.  That said, I think it's purely a stylistic choice.  I put it in the way I do because it serves a purpose to the narrative.  No story NEEDS explicit sex.  Writings that rely on titillation rather than compelling story writing are simply less interesting to read.

I, as a reader, do enjoy some stark reality in stories.  That includes sexuality.  But I would rather have none at all rather than gratuitous smut for its own sake.

[Myr]

When I'm reading, and especially rereading a story, I tend to skip the sex scenes.  The ones I have written were more or less to see if I could.  Mostly going forward, I plan to imply far more than show sex.

[layla]

I have to admit, I cringed trying to write my first intimate scene, I just, didn't want it to seem meaningless or cliche. I wanted to convey what the characters felt and didn't feel as if I could do it justice. Move ahead a few books and I am more comfortable expressing it in ways that aren't too graphic but get across the connection between the characters and how they respond to each other in the moment. i still do not add in very many, only when the build up of a scene takes me there, which, with my characters, isn't very often. I don't think i could get really graphically down and dirty with it, though I have read some novels where the author could and did and it didn't read as gratuitous of shocking. I guess its all in the way its handled.