9 replies to this topic

[AFriendlyFace]

Wow, Luc! You have this uncanny ability to make me cry everytime I read something you write! (which I totally love by the way) I found this story to be extremely moving and compelling. It perfectly described the feelings and behaviour of someone who's deep in mourning but trying to hold it together and carry on. It really felt like a deeply intimate, personal look into someone's life.

I also loved the serendipitous meeting of Dave and the possibility of new hope that it seemed to offer. Life (and death) are truly like this. Excellent job! I'll certainly remember who to go to next time I need a good cry Thanks for sharing this with us!

Kevin

[Mark_l]

*smiles* i did get the privelage of reading this before others and I also know how personal this is to you but even if I didn't know that it i would have loved this story all the same. Kevin is right it does show so clearly teh grieving process someone is going through and how they are trying to hold that memory close but also let it go too. I also loved the light at the end of the tunnel and how no matter how much it hurts it isn't the end of the world for the chracter. Love your writing style and Kevs right your stories are emotional because they tap into peoples emotions so well and let us see ourselves and our responses in your characters or maybe how we think we would respond. Great story, you should continue it at some point.

Mark

[Merkin]

What they said. Both Kevin and Mark pretty much covered my bases.
This story blew me away. Not only did it sneak up on me--I'm not subtle and it took me a good while to catch on, but when I did my emotions did a dropout similar to the carnival ride...only to be bolstered back up by the calming influence of Dave to the point where I shared the hope expressed at the end. Quite a ride! A strong, powerful story. Thank you.

[Sterling]

Oh my god, Luc. What an incredibly affecting story! The tones and colors you inject into the storyline make for a simply wonderful read. Every emotion, every moment of magic, every tear, every memory gives your characters (present and remembered) a depth very seldom found in even the best writing. The strength (and weakness, too) of your protagonist is demonstrated with clarity and truth.

I'm going in search of your other work right now. You are a treasure.

--Sterling

[Luc]

Thanks, everyone. I'm really glad you enjoyed this one. Thanks for taking the time to read it and to let me know what you thought.

[knotme]

I can be dense sometimes I guess. I started this story thinking that Allen was temporarily indisposed, say on a sudden business trip or panic at work. Matt seemed clingy, but not unbelievably so. For a while. The notion that Allen was permanently gone crept up on me. Even when Dave entered the picture, I wavered, not sure until the panic over the diary.

I'm easily distracted. For instance, Where is he? At first, I thought "Galveston" as Matt complained about the heat. Then snow on Memorial day! Got to be the cape.

I concur with the earlier posts. Sometimes my denseness improves the read I'm so glad I read it before looking this thread. I hope others did the same. (Too late now )

[Juss]

Hmm... is it too late to post?

I just read the story, and first I have to say how well written it is. This is the first story I have read from you, and I have to say, after just reading some of your poetry, your writing is filled with immense emotion. You have the ability to make us feel this emotion, making your stories and poems all the more compelling and moving. I think I'm gonna have to start reading a lot more of your work.

[AFriendlyFace]

Hmm... is it too late to post?

I just read the story, and first I have to say how well written it is. This is the first story I have read from you, and I have to say, after just reading some of your poetry, your writing is filled with immense emotion. You have the ability to make us feel this emotion, making your stories and poems all the more compelling and moving. I think I'm gonna have to start reading a lot more of your work.

You'll love it, Juss!! Luc always makes me cry! LOL

[corvus]

This was absolutely great. I teared up and everything at the end :....( The protagonist is very well done -- the story ran the risk of being maudlin, and the protagonist ran the risk of being a bit too cute, in a way; but none of that happened. It sounds stupid, but I got the feeling of his having just a beautiful spirit. You do it with understatement and that sort of wise and knowing self-awareness. Very well done. You've got great instincts. Thanks for writing it!

[gardentuber]

You know, there are so many ways to cry. I usually wail (I can't go to sad movies, it's too embarrassing), but this story had me keening. It's not a pretty sound.

Years ago, I discovered that the world is divided into those who have lost a dearly loved one and those who have not. People in the "those who have not" category have no idea what a void the loss leaves. It's a physical thing, the void. It sits in your chest, like a black hole it sucks all the light from your life. The vacuum has diminished after more than a decade, but it's still there. It'll never go away.

I remember the first months and year... The greatest pain was unexpectedly coming across our plans that would never come to fruition: doing the weekly shopping, the seed packets for the vegetable garden, the vacation plans (as in your story), our annual Thanksgiving dinner with friends (the food was put on the table and I had to close myself in the guest room to cry... well, wail).

And yet, life does go on. We do meet our "Daves". We find our lives extending in directions that were never a part of our shared plans. It's been twelve years, four months and thirteen days, no, fourteen days. Life continues to go on.

Now, I've gotten maudlin. Anyway, thanks for the story. I think you understand what I've been talking about. It's nice to read a story from someone who gets it.

A previous commenter referred to your personal experience. I'm sorry for your loss.