The Rainy Day by Graeme

[C James]

The Rainy Day by Graeme

 

 

:nuke: :nuke: Spoilers Below!!! :nuke: :nuke:

[C James]

One of the first things that struck me about this story is the see-saw effect; Brat (what a unique and interesting name, very evocative, and it sure fits!) at first appearing to be a thief, then well-intentioned, and then again a bit of a con-artist, very much still an open question until late in the story. I very much liked the effect this had; it kept me both guessing and involved.

 

Brat is just trying to get by and look after his family. He's not too likable on the outside, but his heart's in the right place and that explains why he's like he is. He comes across as a little cynical due to what he's faced, and one can hardly blame him. He's very street-smart, always playing the angles as life has forced him to learn, far too early.

 

What I liked best about this story was the juxtaposition between Brat's behavior and attitude and his "doing the right thing". That's far from easy to do, and Graeme did it very well indeed.

[Jack Scribe]

...I very much liked the effect this had; it kept me both guessing and involved.

 

What I liked best about this story was the juxtaposition between Brat's behavior and attitude and his "doing the right thing". That's far from easy to do, and Graeme did it very well indeed.

 

I must admit this story - done very well - was quite depressing...for me. Graeme served up a slice of life that is probably duplicated too often in civilized parts of the western world (Darfur is a whole other subject). Nevertheless, it was a hopeful ending (and beginning for Brat and his siblings).

[Ieshwar]

Yes, it was quite sad. It's not fair that a guy has to be through all this at such an early age.

 

Brat is far from perfect and this makes him a great protagonist( and Graeme's great writing skills). I loved the way he was portrayed. I was wondering if I had to like him or not! I mean, he did take care of his siblings but on the other hand, he took very immature decisions (It's not safe to be out on street at such an hour).

 

But like CJ said, he had his heart at the right place!

 

Ieshwar

[CarlHoliday]

A nice story about a boy trying to be more than he should and doing a pretty good job of it, too. Unfortunately, one of the horrors of foster care is siblings often get broken up and sent to separate families. To keep the family, the three kids, together is Brat's daily goal.

 

I have to admit I liked the story.

 

Okay, for the negative stuff, I'm always a stickler for the little things. (Why can't I find these things in my own stories?) When Brat comes home from school and walks in he sees the man and the woman with Guy and Sheila, he also sees another man in a suit standing over by the kitchen. Then a few paragraphs later he's surprised there's a third man in the house, or maybe he just forgot and did pay enough attention to him.

 

Other than that it was a very good story, very believable.

 

Thanks Graeme!

 

Carl

[Graeme]

I must admit this story - done very well - was quite depressing...for me. Graeme served up a slice of life that is probably duplicated too often in civilized parts of the western world (Darfur is a whole other subject). Nevertheless, it was a hopeful ending (and beginning for Brat and his siblings).

Unfortunately, yes, this sort of thing does happen. While many people in public housing in Australia are good people who are just down on their luck, some really are like Brat's mum. I've heard stories of some in my own local area

 

...but on the other hand, he took very immature decisions (It's not safe to be out on street at such an hour).

This wasn't as bad as it seemed. Some areas in Melbourne aren't safe to be out at night, but most are and the locals know the areas that aren't. This wasn't as big a risk as it may seem.

 

Okay, for the negative stuff, I'm always a stickler for the little things. (Why can't I find these things in my own stories?) When Brat comes home from school and walks in he sees the man and the woman with Guy and Sheila, he also sees another man in a suit standing over by the kitchen. Then a few paragraphs later he's surprised there's a third man in the house, or maybe he just forgot and did pay enough attention to him.

I'm a stickler for little things, too. The third man was in one of the bedrooms, packing things for Guy/Sheila. That's why Brat didn't see him

 

Thanks, everyone!

 

My original premise for the story was someone who had more important things to worry about than their sexuality. When I came to write it, putting in any references to the sexuality of the main characters seemed out of place, so they got dropped completely and I just concentrated on someone who wanted to do the best for his family.

[C James]

My original premise for the story was someone who had more important things to worry about than their sexuality. When I came to write it, putting in any references to the sexuality of the main characters seemed out of place, so they got dropped completely and I just concentrated on someone who wanted to do the best for his family.

 

When I first read it, I was keeping an eye out for sexuality issues, wrongly assuming that it would have a gay component somewhere. I think the fact that it didn't added to this story for me, both from the surprise POV, and the fact that for this storyline it would, IMHO have detracted. Also, we don't know if Brat is GL or B... Errr, scratch that, I do think it's safe to assume he's not a lesbian, but he could well be straight, gay, or bi, or anything. It's not relevant to the storyline.

 

Besides, the fact that it mentions that he goes shirtless in summer is a rather nice bit of "gay scenery" as far as I'm concerned, regardless of his sexuality.

 

And you're right; many people do have far bigger issues to worry about than sexuality. That's a very, very good point.

 

Great story, Graeme!!

[jfalkon]

I love the characters! They seem so real. The ending is hopeful but it leaves me wondering what would happen next. There is no way that someone like Brat could just blend into calm family life right away. The way his frustration boils over shows just how desperate and unhappy he is.

[Graeme]

I love the characters! They seem so real. The ending is hopeful but it leaves me wondering what would happen next. There is no way that someone like Brat could just blend into calm family life right away. The way his frustration boils over shows just how desperate and unhappy he is.

Yeah... I have already received an emailed request wanting to know what happens next I don't have any intention at the moment to write a continuation, but you never know what will happen in the future.

[Camy]

I can't think of a short story you've written that I haven't liked ... except 'Ten Years', but that was because it made me cry.

 

So, yet another great set of characters, well drawn and very real. Kudos.

 

Camy

[Benji]

Yeah... I have already received an emailed request wanting to know what happens next I don't have any intention at the moment to write a continuation, but you never know what will happen in the future.

 

 

..........Aha! here you are!! I didn't scroll down far enough at the end of the story. I could very well see this taking off in continuation. But the story was complete with hope!! Another great story Graeme.

[wildone]

Graeme, I really liked the story. A couple of things kinda stood out to me right away. First was Brat being called that, Brat. It kinda told me right off the mark what kind of mother he had.

 

Second, was when he mentioned that he was waiting for Stephen to ring him out, I thought "Oh, is this a budding romance?" Funny thing is, after that one thought, I never thought about his sexuality or Stephen's again until I read it hear in the comments. It was just a good story that didn't not require, or need a gay theme to it.

 

I too was like Ieshwar, not knowing if I liked Brat or thought he was exactly that, a brat. He did tell us early on that he didn't like people inquiring about his person life, so I guess his reaction to inquiries was not to be unexpected.

 

At the end though, I felt the story had some closure. He wasn't resisting Stephen's Dad anymore, and seemed to be resigned to the fact that their family needed people like Stephen's family.

 

Question is, who was the real Hero of the story? Was it Brat, for his devotion to his little brother and sister. What he was willing to do, and more importantly sacrifice to keep them together and alive. Or Stephen, for seeing through Brat's hard shell, and making the arrangements gradually to find him a place to actually grow up in.

 

Great job again Graeme.

 

Steve

[Graeme]

Thanks, Steve

 

I'm not sure a story has to have a "Hero". Real life situations tend to be messy and complex, and I feel that's what is going on here. Both Brat and Stephen have their strong points, with both wanting to "do the right thing" being core to that, but their opinions on what is the "right thing" differ up until the end.