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Posted

An interesting poem. I'm not a good one for commenting on poetry, but I couldn't help notice the way the stanzas were structured. Two lines starting with 'Wanting', one starting with 'Needing', another line starting with 'Wanting', and then a personal statement.

 

Needing is different to wanting. It is more fundamental, more primordial. The first two wanting lines in each stanza are largely to do with what sort of life the narrator wants to live. The 'Needing' lines are all to do with an incentive to live, with the last wanting line showing why. Those third 'wanting' lines deal with the narrator's hopes, and are all to do with leaving their current life. I found the combination quite effective.

 

Thanks, Tiger!

Posted

Like Graeme I am not good with commenting on Poetry, but I really do like this poem Tim. :) Let's see, I too found the structure interesting and effective. We all want and we sometimes need someone to pick us up from the state we're in and "save" us from whatever problem we're having. A very true emotion that you've portrayed.

 

Again, good job. :wub:

Posted

I'm quite useless when it comes to poetry, but I picked up on the difference between "wanting" and "needing". Great contrasting between the two! Well done.

 

CJ :)

Posted

everytime I read this poem, it makes me want to crawl into bed and cry. :( Tim does an excellent job at demonstrating how depression messes with our perception of the world around us.

 

on a happier note, anyone else notice how it looks like a tree? ^_^

Posted

I didn't notice that until you pointed it out Steph, but yeah, I can sort of see that.

 

When it comes to expressing the effects of depression and how it affects one's perception of the world via poetry I think Tim is GA's undisputed king. He clearly has a good grasp of how to structure his poems. He's constantly experimenting with different styles that always keep his poems fresh even though they often deal with similar topics. His choice of words is very deliberate and effective. He often sends me scrambling for the dictionary and I absolutely love when that happens.

 

Great job Tim! two-thumbs-up.gif

Posted

Thanks everyone! I write poetry as an outlet. It's no big secret that I know a lot about depression. Poetry, and even prose, are a great outlet for me, because I can express my emotions both directly and indirectly. I also like to point out the ills of society in poetry as well as romantic interest. That is what poetry is all about.

Posted
An interesting poem. I'm not a good one for commenting on poetry, but I couldn't help notice the way the stanzas were structured. Two lines starting with 'Wanting', one starting with 'Needing', another line starting with 'Wanting', and then a personal statement.

 

Needing is different to wanting. It is more fundamental, more primordial. The first two wanting lines in each stanza are largely to do with what sort of life the narrator wants to live. The 'Needing' lines are all to do with an incentive to live, with the last wanting line showing why. Those third 'wanting' lines deal with the narrator's hopes, and are all to do with leaving their current life. I found the combination quite effective.

 

Thanks, Tiger!

I can't comment any further than Graeme already has about the structure - which I really liked and appreciated - but I will add my personal praise.

 

It was a very moving poem and I loved the desperation and yearning that it so eloquently expressed.

 

Great job, Tim!

 

:hug:

 

-Kevin

Posted

Extremely moving, Tiger. I read it last night and then again this morning. What made it especially emotive, for me, was experiencing it in the dark, quiet of night and then again this morning in the swarming chaos of my kitchen. Last night this poem made me incredibly sad, helpless, and silence felt approriate to the end of the day. This morning those feelings were still present, but I was also bolstered to talk about it, to let you know I heard you. That someone is listening.

Posted

Thanks Libby. I wrote The Aimless Search when I was feeling really low. I'm glad to know you are listening. Reading my own words at this point seems almost chilling as I look at it from the perspective of the reader. I can definitely see why you might feel sad. Luckily, I feel a little better now.

Posted
Thanks Libby. I wrote The Aimless Search when I was feeling really low. I'm glad to know you are listening. Reading my own words at this point seems almost chilling as I look at it from the perspective of the reader. I can definitely see why you might feel sad. Luckily, I feel a little better now.

You're the one who has taken the steps to make you feel a little better. Don't lose sight of that fact Tim, and use it to keep yourself moving forward. I'm very proud of you for doing the things you've done recently. :)

Posted
You're the one who has taken the steps to make you feel a little better. Don't lose sight of that fact Tim, and use it to keep yourself moving forward. I'm very proud of you for doing the things you've done recently. :)

Well said, Gary :)

 

 

:hug:

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