Without You by Myk

[C James]

Without You by Myk

Even the most difficult times are manageable with the help of someone you love, but without that person, what would you do?

 

 

:nuke: :nuke: Spoilers Below!!! :nuke: :nuke:

[Tiff]

How do you do it, man? The last minute anthologies that seem to have so much put into it? I can't even get the same type of emotion even if it took me weeks? Wow! You have some gift. I've been hoping you would come up with something for this one and I wasn't disappointed.

 

the beginning sets up a sad ending, so I was expecting it, but I loved the details you provided throughout the entire ordeal of Will's pancreatic cancer. Cancer is tough and I think you portrayed it very well, from Will as the patient, to Paul as the caregiver. It's tough on both. Will has to go through the physical torment of chemo while Paul struggled to remain by his side while dealing with classes. A balancing act. I anticipated Will trying to give up during his second round of chemo. It's exhausting and drains your life away, to the point where you wonder if it's worth it. Thank goodness Paul saved him and gave him strength to keep on fighting.

 

Sadly, just as things were going well for them--Will had been operated on, his parents were coming around, and Paul and him could return home--a tragic thing just happened to occurr on their way out. Fate and timing, huh? Ironic and beautiful at the same time.

 

Poor Paul, hit in the neck, instant death. When he said he felt no pain, I felt like crying. It was so sad and beautiful at the same time. At least he would not die slowly and in agony. And he knew he was going to die, he said his last 'I love yous' to Will. A tearjerker.

 

But of course you weren't done...the ending. A terrible and beautiful ending. Very vivid. I could see what was happening as Will was doing it. The detail you provided, like his mother being pissed about the towels or something. The little things you managed to insert that made it so real. That Will was thinking about those insignificant details as he was dying, as he was bleeding to death.

 

I feel terrible for him. Paul had been his rock through the chemo ordeal, but now Paul was not around and could not save him from this, not even Paul's memory. So he felt like he had no life left, no will to live, no strength or fight left in him. After all, once Paul died, he no longer had a home. His parents weren't very supportive either, suggesting a girl for him. So all he could do was join Paul, come to him. His last words were really memorable. Simple words, but in the context of it all, very memorable and powerful.

 

Well, I've gone on and on, but that just means I loved the story. You're a great writer Greg; you need to write more often! I'm definitely a fan.

[Krista]

Oh my you are Evil Greg... EVIL. How dare you make a girl cry and blubber over a story.. I was distracted by the image of your spontaneous dancing and curious about the promise of evil in your anthology.. I guess you can blame both of those on me.. BUT for the record you are still E-v-i-l. Meanie.

 

 

Joking aside....

 

I LOVED IT!

 

The beginning sets up a sad ending, but I thought as I went through - well it could have been someone else other than Paul. Especially after Will recovered from a successful surgery and my Anatomy and medical classes helped me tremendously while reading, but you explained his condition with Pancreatic cancer well. Then as you wrote, "Bang!" "Bang!" my eyes narrowed and I was thinking damn it's Paul.

 

Their relationship was beautiful and strong and I knew from the beginning that if one died the other would too, so I was "double hoping" for a happy ending as I am a die hard romantic-happy-ending kind of girl. The death of both characters were beautiful in their own very different way. Even if I had some small feeling of anger that Will took suicide as a way out of things, their relationship made the act at least forgivable. A tragedy about complete devotion.

[C James]

A tragedy indeed, well done, poignant. At first, I thought William would die; the odds are long with Pancreatic cancer. Everything seemed to be setting us up for tragedy, yet he pulled through. Then the mention of gunshot wounds.. Uhoh. And then the "bang, bang" and I knew... This is a double tragedy, but especially for William, he beat such long odds at such cost, only to die.

 

I agree with Krista, you are EVIL!

 

Seriously though, well done!

[Graeme]

I think everyone has said everything I wanted to say A powerful and well-crafted story

 

Your medical training showed, but it didn't obscure the story. I admired the way you had William translate the medical jargon for Paul -- keeping things realistic (the use of the jargon), but explaining things to the readers at the same time.

 

Well done!

[darkfoxprime]

This was a hard story to read through for editing, because I kept having to go back a few paragraphs and remind myself to read the words, not the story; I kept getting caught up in it!

 

I often insist that I dislike reading sad stories, but the good ones always catch my attention and draw me on through the (bitter) conclusion, always hoping for that miracle ending.

 

Good job!

[AFriendlyFace]

Amazing job, Greg!

 

I always love stories that make me cry, and this one certainly did!

 

Unfortunately I don't feel able to add much to what has already been said either, but it was an all around awesome story! I'm so glad you finished it in time! Way to go!

 

 

-Kevin

[Myk]

Wow, I just can't help but smile from the feedback I am getting, it is more than I could have hoped for already, thanks guys

 

How do you do it, man? The last minute anthologies that seem to have so much put into it? I can't even get the same type of emotion even if it took me weeks? Wow! You have some gift. I've been hoping you would come up with something for this one and I wasn't disappointed.

 

...

 

Well, I've gone on and on, but that just means I loved the story. You're a great writer Greg; you need to write more often! I'm definitely a fan.

Tiff, I can't tell you how much you totally made my week with this post!! I was about to go to bed when I saw you writing it last night and I just had to stay up to see what you would write. When I saw what you said I was so touched. Needless to say I went to bed very happy, so thank you!!

 

Oh my you are Evil Greg... EVIL. How dare you make a girl cry and blubber over a story.. I was distracted by the image of your spontaneous dancing and curious about the promise of evil in your anthology.. I guess you can blame both of those on me.. BUT for the record you are still E-v-i-l. Meanie.

 

...

 

Their relationship was beautiful and strong and I knew from the beginning that if one died the other would too, so I was "double hoping" for a happy ending as I am a die hard romantic-happy-ending kind of girl. The death of both characters were beautiful in their own very different way. Even if I had some small feeling of anger that Will took suicide as a way out of things, their relationship made the act at least forgivable. A tragedy about complete devotion.

I told you it was evil!!! I am also one of those guys that hopes for the happy endings. I wait for it and wait for it and then the author or director or whoever goes and kills someone or makes it a tragedy and I'm so bothered by it, but that is also because they have done such a good job getting me hooked and emotionally involved. For some reason I relished in the idea of being able to try the same thing.

 

A tragedy indeed, well done, poignant. At first, I thought William would die; the odds are long with Pancreatic cancer. Everything seemed to be setting us up for tragedy, yet he pulled through. Then the mention of gunshot wounds.. Uhoh. And then the "bang, bang" and I knew... This is a double tragedy, but especially for William, he beat such long odds at such cost, only to die.

 

I agree with Krista, you are EVIL!

 

Seriously though, well done!

Thanks CJ!! Yeah pancreatic cancer is a tough one, that is partially why I choose it of course. It is also why I struggled a fair bit, the presentation of pancreatic cancer is actually very general and I wasn't quite sure how to go from the general symptoms to that diagnosis. There is that 'E' word again, I guess I really earned it

 

I think everyone has said everything I wanted to say A powerful and well-crafted story

 

Your medical training showed, but it didn't obscure the story. I admired the way you had William translate the medical jargon for Paul -- keeping things realistic (the use of the jargon), but explaining things to the readers at the same time.

 

Well done!

 

Thank you Graeme, that means a lot! Although despite my medical training I still had to do much more research on this than I expected to do. I think I ended up changing the type of cancer twice and how the pancreatic cancer would realistically show up three times. I'm glad the explaination didn't detract from the emotional story I was trying to build.

 

This was a hard story to read through for editing, because I kept having to go back a few paragraphs and remind myself to read the words, not the story; I kept getting caught up in it!

 

I often insist that I dislike reading sad stories, but the good ones always catch my attention and draw me on through the (bitter) conclusion, always hoping for that miracle ending.

 

Good job!

 

Sorry you didn't get the miracle ending....well I did kinda give the miracle, but then I took a whole lot more away. I know, I know....the 'E' word again....

 

Thank you so much for you last minute editing help darkfoxprime!!! The comments you made really helped the flow of the story, so thank you

 

Also I'd like to take this chance to say thank you to Sharon (sat8997) as well for her last minute help, you really made this anthology possible, the both of you!

 

...and thanks to rec who offered to help as well.

 

Amazing job, Greg!

 

I always love stories that make me cry, and this one certainly did!

 

Unfortunately I don't feel able to add much to what has already been said either, but it was an all around awesome story! I'm so glad you finished it in time! Way to go!

 

 

-Kevin

 

Thank you Kevin,

 

 

 

 

Thanks guys for all the wonderful comments, I'm definitely , especially now that I'm such a , muahahahahaha. j/k

 

Greg

[AFriendlyFace]

Wow, I just can't help but smile from the feedback I am getting, it is more than I could have hoped for already, thanks guys

 

 

Tiff, I can't tell you how much you totally made my week with this post!! I was about to go to bed when I saw you writing it last night and I just had to stay up to see what you would write. When I saw what you said I was so touched. Needless to say I went to bed very happy, so thank you!!

Doesn't Tiff just give the most awesome reviews and comments?!

 

I told you it was evil!!! I am also one of those guys that hopes for the happy endings. I wait for it and wait for it and then the author or director or whoever goes and kills someone or makes it a tragedy and I'm so bothered by it, but that is also because they have done such a good job getting me hooked and emotionally involved. For some reason I relished in the idea of being able to try the same thing.

That's sort of how I often feel when I write as well, Greg.

 

Thanks CJ!! Yeah pancreatic cancer is a tough one, that is partially why I choose it of course. It is also why I struggled a fair bit, the presentation of pancreatic cancer is actually very general and I wasn't quite sure how to go from the general symptoms to that diagnosis. There is that 'E' word again, I guess I really earned it

LOL, you did! Apparently I earned the description of "Fiendly" (as opposed the more common "Fiendish") with my anthology entry...I know this because I was originally described as such in the thread title!

 

Thank you Graeme, that means a lot! Although despite my medical training I still had to do much more research on this than I expected to do. I think I ended up changing the type of cancer twice and how the pancreatic cancer would realistically show up three times. I'm glad the explaination didn't detract from the emotional story I was trying to build.

It definitely didn't. The explanation and medical info was weaved in very well and very seamlessly

 

 

 

-Kevin

[Tiger]

Wow! That was a sad story. The irony was fantastic though. Myk, you are an awesome short story writer. I wish I had more to say, but it's late and I'm a little tired. All I can say is that the story is superb!

[old bob]

Sad, very sad story, with its up and down. Amazing how you brought so many thoughts with so few words. Having "the pleasure" to have "frequented" many times hospitals (not as patient) but as manager and helper, I found myself quickly in a well known and very well described atmosphere.

I liked particularly the progression of the story.

The word "escape" can have so many meanings. I acknowledge your choice, but I would have chosen another end !

Work well done ! It remembered me lot about my experiences of hospitals and emergency rooms.

Do you have some experiences of special sections of palliative care (the places to die without pains) ?

Old bob

[FrenchCanadian]

Okay, first, i gotta say that it's a real sad story, but the way you brought it made it pass all right. It really does fit the theme sooo well. A really well worked text, and really keep writing for the anthology, it seems you simply can't write a bad one,,,,

[Myk]

Wow! That was a sad story. The irony was fantastic though. Myk, you are an awesome short story writer. I wish I had more to say, but it's late and I'm a little tired. All I can say is that the story is superb!

Thanks Tiger . I'll have to try my hand at a serial in the near future...

 

Sad, very sad story, with its up and down. Amazing how you brought so many thoughts with so few words. Having "the pleasure" to have "frequented" many times hospitals (not as patient) but as manager and helper, I found myself quickly in a well known and very well described atmosphere.

I liked particularly the progression of the story.

The word "escape" can have so many meanings. I acknowledge your choice, but I would have chosen another end !

Work well done ! It remembered me lot about my experiences of hospitals and emergency rooms.

Do you have some experiences of special sections of palliative care (the places to die without pains) ?

Old bob

I don't have any palliative care experience per se. I do have a fair bit of hospital experience through volunteering back home and shadowing here at school. Back home I gave tours to young kids and also volunteered on an infant ward as well as an oncology ward for awhile. Oncology can be terribly sad, personally I think I'd like to end up where there can be some more positive outcomes....who knows though. Thanks for reading and commenting bob!!

 

Okay, first, i gotta say that it's a real sad story, but the way you brought it made it pass all right. It really does fit the theme sooo well. A really well worked text, and really keep writing for the anthology, it seems you simply can't write a bad one,,,,

 

Awwww, thanks so much!! I don't know if I will have anything for the special anthology but I'll try for the fall one. Like I mentioned above I'm thinking about tackling a serial story....although I feel an urge towards fantasy/scifi for that, which is a much different following. Who knows what will happen!

 

Thanks again you guys, I love the feedback.....btw, negative is welcome too

 

Greg

Edited June 29, 2008 by Myk

[Tiff]

Awwww, thanks so much!! I don't know if I will have anything for the special anthology but I'll try for the fall one. Like I mentioned above I'm thinking about tackling a serial story....although I feel an urge towards fantasy/scifi for that, which is a much different following. Who knows what will happen!

 

Thanks again you guys, I love the feedback.....btw, negative is welcome too

 

Greg

Serials are hard work, but I think you can totally do it. But it seems you might work better under pressure or a looming deadline. And so far, no negative feedback because nothing you've written warrants it.

 

Ok, you just crushed all my hopes and dreams by stating you might not do the special anthology!!! What a way to bring a girl down, man. That's so harsh. I think for this escape anthology, yours was one of the first ones I read. Since your last one was so good, I had to see what you came up with. And what a freaking delivery!

 

Methinks you need to wait until the day before the special anthology is due and submit something. I bet it will be fantastic. If can't come up with anything, I can kinda understand since getting an idea is difficult if you force it. But I'll be mad tempted to kung-fu your @ss!

 

A disgruntled Tiff

[Myk]

Serials are hard work, but I think you can totally do it. But it seems you might work better under pressure or a looming deadline. And so far, no negative feedback because nothing you've written warrants it.

 

Ok, you just crushed all my hopes and dreams by stating you might not do the special anthology!!! What a way to bring a girl down, man. That's so harsh. I think for this escape anthology, yours was one of the first ones I read. Since your last one was so good, I had to see what you came up with. And what a freaking delivery!

 

Methinks you need to wait until the day before the special anthology is due and submit something. I bet it will be fantastic. If can't come up with anything, I can kinda understand since getting an idea is difficult if you force it. But I'll be mad tempted to kung-fu your @ss!

 

A disgruntled Tiff

 

that was totally hilarious

 

You are right, I do work best with looming deadlines....plus my last two entries were all last second as well.

 

Well, since I'm absolutely tickled pink with your comments, I won't take the special anthology off the table...I might give it a try afterall, just for you Tiff

 

....no promisses though

[Tiff]

that was totally hilarious

 

You are right, I do work best with looming deadlines....plus my last two entries were all last second as well.

 

Well, since I'm absolutely tickled pink with your comments, I won't take the special anthology off the table...I might give it a try afterall, just for you Tiff

 

....no promisses though

Of course, no promises. I'm mentally mature enough to understand that.

 

However, let me warn you: I'm Asian. And you know we're innately born with the "kicking ass" ability, right? There is some truth to that stereotype. I can whip out a few moves...some Chinese voodoo. And my Mom is surprisingly talented with knives...

 

That was random. You get the picture. You have been warned.

[Krista]

that was totally hilarious

 

You are right, I do work best with looming deadlines....plus my last two entries were all last second as well.

 

Well, since I'm absolutely tickled pink with your comments, I won't take the special anthology off the table...I might give it a try afterall, just for you Tiff

 

....no promisses though

 

 

Woot!! Go you Tiff!

[Myk]

Of course, no promises. I'm mentally mature enough to understand that.

 

However, let me warn you: I'm Asian. And you know we're innately born with the "kicking ass" ability, right? There is some truth to that stereotype. I can whip out a few moves...some Chinese voodoo. And my Mom is surprisingly talented with knives...

 

That was random. You get the picture. You have been warned.

 

Asians are born with an innate "kicking ass"ability?! ...and you'll unleash your mother on me?!

 

 

....is voodoo chinese?

 

Well I've become somewhat addicted to Japanese anime, so maybe I'm not quite a helpless white boy

 

....not that I have any idea what I mean by that

 

Woot!! Go you Tiff!

 

Hey, what is this?! Two against one?

Edited June 29, 2008 by Myk

[Tiff]

Asians are born with an innate "kicking ass"ability?! ...and you'll unleash your mother on me?!

 

 

....is voodoo chinese?

 

Well I've become somewhat addicted to Japanese anime, so maybe I'm not quite a helpless white boy

 

....not that I have any idea what I mean by that

 

I have no idea where voodoo stems from. I do know that every culture has its own form of it. I can't tell you what growing up with my mother was like. She's forcing all these freaky things on me, telling me about their healing powers. Lord Almighty! That lady with the strange knife talent.

 

HAH! Japanese anime. I scoff at that! All those characters have are fancy, spiky hair. You'll be helpess.

 

 

Hey, what is this?! Two against one?

 

It's only two against one because we love you and your writing so much. You should be pleased, really. Give us some time and we can create a whole army.

[Myk]

I have no idea where voodoo stems from. I do know that every culture has its own form of it. I can't tell you what growing up with my mother was like. She's forcing all these freaky things on me, telling me about their healing powers. Lord Almighty! That lady with the strange knife talent.

 

HAH! Japanese anime. I scoff at that! All those characters have are fancy, spiky hair. You'll be helpess.

....I like the spiky hair though

 

lol

It's only two against one because we love you and your writing so much. You should be pleased, really. Give us some time and we can create a whole army.

 

Awwww.....I'm humbled by the presence of you Tiff and Krista in this tread . I'm not sure I could handle a whole army though

[Tiff]

I like the spiky hair too. They look good, don't they? That's why Chinese movies, or Asian movies in general are enjoyable to watch...that awesome hair. For me at least.

 

I like to stalk certain authors who are really talented and create good stories; so far it's been corvus and Libby Drew. Now you don't have a serial body of work yet, but I think I'd like to stalk you for the anthologies. At the moment that's your forte. What can I say? I'm in summer school and I have some spare time on my hands.

 

But I'll try not to get too scary.

 

No promises though

[Myk]

I like the spiky hair too. They look good, don't they? That's why Chinese movies, or Asian movies in general are enjoyable to watch...that awesome hair. For me at least.

 

I like to stalk certain authors who are really talented and create good stories; so far it's been corvus and Libby Drew. Now you don't have a serial body of work yet, but I think I'd like to stalk you for the anthologies. At the moment that's your forte. What can I say? I'm in summer school and I have some spare time on my hands.

 

But I'll try not to get too scary.

 

No promises though

 

lol, does that mean I have my first official story stalker?

 

I know how you feel about boring summer school, I only wish I had extra time this summer but it is like a regular semester for me. Oh well.

 

Well now that you have put my name in that kind of company I really will have to try and not disappoint you. Goodness though....

 

you are right though, a serial could be a blunder for me....compared with my short story success so far.

[Tiff]

lol, does that mean I have my first official story stalker?

 

I know how you feel about boring summer school, I only wish I had extra time this summer but it is like a regular semester for me. Oh well.

 

Well now that you have put my name in that kind of company I really will have to try and not disappoint you. Goodness though....

 

you are right though, a serial could be a blunder for me....compared with my short story success so far.

Yeah, I'll stalk you more in the forums and whenever you write a story. This is how you know you've made it: when you get your first stalker.

 

Summer school sucks. It's very condensed. I don't know how you manage a full semester during those summer sessions. Although it could be worse. You could be a big dork like me and take 40 credits freshman year. That was a doozy. :wacko:

 

Nah, have some faith in yourself. If you channel your procrastinating energy into a series, you'll have a masterpiece. You need to break down every chapter and pretend each one is its own short story. Wow, can you imagine that? Freaking awesome. Okok, too much pressure now. A good stalker knows when to pull back,

 

May the force be with you (Don't know where that came from. A random Star Wars reference.)

[sat8997]

Methinks you need to wait until the day before the special anthology is due and submit something.

 

Or he could try for a few day before the deadline...like normal people.

 

 

You are right, I do work best with looming deadlines....plus my last two entries were all last second as well.

Well, since I'm absolutely tickled pink with your comments, I won't take the special anthology off the table...I might give it a try afterall, just for you Tiff

....no promisses though

 

<sigh> Remind me of the deadline again so I can plan to be awake at midnight...just in case.

[Tiff]

Or he could try for a few day before the deadline...like normal people.

 

...

 

<sigh> Remind me of the deadline again so I can plan to be awake at midnight...just in case.

Greg is not a normal procrastinator. He's a super procrastinator!

 

And as tough as it may be, he manages a great story in a span of a few hours. I know, he's a superfreak.

 

Here's to hoping he'll come up with something by July 14...or a few days earlier so poor editors aren't scrambling.