Strangers In The Garden by darkfoxprime

[Graeme]

Strangers In The Garden by darkfoxprime

The garden house, the reflecting pool, and his memories are a boy's only companions as he wonders about the strangers in his mother's garden.

 

 

:nuke: :nuke: Spoilers Below!!! :nuke: :nuke:

[AFriendlyFace]

Wow! That was beautiful! I confess it made me cry a bit.

 

I have a feeling that I understood things at exactly the rate I was meant to. I wasn't rushing ahead trying to guess what was happening or would happen, and I wasn't confused. I was simply enthralled in the tale you were beautifully spinning, darkfox.

 

In the second or third section it occurred to me that the narrator had died. Then I realized his parents had sold the place, then I realized the new couple had rehired the pool boy. Then in the last scene it slowly dawned on me that the little black box was a camera.

 

The concept that the love Lee and Michael shared was enough to set the narrator free was just beautiful and brilliantly executed. I loved that it happened in the flash of the camera as the two young lovers took a picture together

 

I also liked how gradually 'The Pool Boy' became 'Tony' became 'Tony Acosta'. That slight, slow progression was very clever. Another technique I appreciated was the use of capital letters to refer to various things 'Mother', 'Father', 'That Night', etc.

 

Wonderfully done and very beautiful! Great job Darkfox!

-Kevin

[Graeme]

A poignant tale

 

Things Boys Should Not Do Together: a beautifully evocative phrasing that set the era of the unnamed narrator.

That Night: Capitalised to highlight the importance, as boys of that era were wont to do.

 

It seems that his parents learnt regret, based on the initial scene, but how deeply they felt it isn't clear. Regardless, the narrator holds on to his memories of Mother and Father, and is disappointed when they no longer walk through the garden.

 

What is it that kept him bound, and what is it that released him in the end? Was it that he hadn't accepted that he had done no wrong? Was the little garden house, his prison, one of his own making? Was he the one that kept himself there, albeit unwittingly? And did the expression of love from outside show him how he could be free?

 

Who knows....

I also liked how gradually 'The Pool Boy' became 'Tony' became 'Tony Acosta'. That slight, slow progression was very clever.

I missed that when I read it But you're 100% right. It shows development, even while he's a ghost.

 

Well done, darkfoxprime! A beautiful, moving tale.

[kitten]

I enjoyed this story, which was beautiful and perfectly paced, saying just enough and not too much. There's not much I can add to what Kevin & Graeme said, except that I agree with them.

 

As with all stories, the message we take from it depends on our own experience and personality. The message I took, was that hatred and rejection may imprison us, but love can set us free.

 

Thank you for sharing this with us.

 

Kit

[jfalkon]

I agree, It was a beautiful story. It was so sad when he caouldn't recognize the pool boy any more and when his parents went away.