Buried by jfalkon

[Graeme]

Buried by jfalkon

A group of college students decides to play a scary joke on a tour group. What could possibly go wrong in an old cemetery in the middle of the night? One of the boys finds out.

 

 

:nuke: :nuke: Spoilers Below!!! :nuke: :nuke:

[AFriendlyFace]

As usual JFalkon manages to craft a brilliant, compelling narrative filled with twists and turns and vivid characters!

 

My favourite character was definitely Austin. His courage and honesty was very refreshing. I suppose Matt isn't so bad and can be forgiven for not having the confidence to come out yet. I get the impression that ultimately he will.

 

This story also does a great job touching on stereotypes and JFalkon manages to relate them in a very convincing way without seeming to comment one way or the other.

 

I wonder how big the college is. I was surprised when Austin knew Matt's name! It's not odd that Matt would have known him since he stood out so much, but I would have thought that Matt would just sink into the background at a university unless people specifically knew him. I wonder if this means that Austin had feelings for Matt?

 

I'll also say that I was a bit surprised that they didn't kiss. I thought for sure that mention of the rumour started about Matt and that girl years ago was foreshadowing!

 

Anyway, awesome job, JFalkon! I really enjoyed this one!

 

-Kevin

[Tiger]

College days are often filled with antics. Sometimes those antics take frat boys to locations that most would find creepy to say the least. Matt is about to find out what it

[Graeme]

I wonder if this means that Austin had feelings for Matt?

I doubt it. If Matt has feelings for Austin, he had better get over them fast. My reading of the story is that Austin is already taken... or doesn't anyone else think that Tony's reactions seem a bit strong? I think Austin and Tony are an item, and Matt's just too dense to realise. I even think some of their other friends know, based on the good-natured ribbing they gave Tony.

This is a good story. There were scary moments where I found myself wondering what was going to happen next. Cemeteries can definitely be scary to say the least. Overall, the author has a uniquely poetic style of creating a beguiling tale that

[AFriendlyFace]

I doubt it. If Matt has feelings for Austin, he had better get over them fast. My reading of the story is that Austin is already taken... or doesn't anyone else think that Tony's reactions seem a bit strong? I think Austin and Tony are an item, and Matt's just too dense to realise. I even think some of their other friends know, based on the good-natured ribbing they gave Tony.

Wow! I hadn't considered that at all! I guess that might explain why Austin knew Matt since Matt and Tony are friends.

 

But, hmmm, I'm not completely convinced. Weren't Tony and Austin rude to each other at the beginning of the piece? Wasn't Austin genuinely concerned about how Tony and the others would react to seeing him?

Edited September 10, 2008 by AFriendlyFace

[CarlHoliday]

But, hmmm, I'm not completely convinced. Weren't Tony and Austin rude to each other at the beginning of the piece? Wasn't Austin genuinely concerned about how Tony and the others would react to seeing him?

 

Austin and Tony might not be an item, but there is definitely something going on between them. Tony wouldn't have gone gone up to "Princess" and give him a bear hug just for the heck of it. Their earlier exchange seemed innocent, except for the reference to the pants, which was handled nicely by Austin.

 

Poor Matt, his first chance at being open about his orientation gets cut short a little too soon. I don't think anything would've happen, but it might have been nice for him to have a longer chat with Austin. What he probably needs to do is have a heart-to-heart chat with Tony.

 

It was a nice story with an interesting use of the them.

[kitten]

This story had a good plot, which I enjoyed and which kept me interested in what was going to happen next. The characters were interesting, and I liked the 'twist' of Tony hugging Austin. At first that took me by surprise, but on reflection, it shouldn't have been so surprising.

 

Once the guys were in the crypt and the dialogue really started, I thought it flowed well. However, in the first half of the story (and this may just be my personal taste) I found the short, staccato sentences made the narrative feel very disjointed. Despite that, which may indeed be just my personal preference, I was drawn in and entertained by this story.

 

Thank you, jfalkon!

 

Kit

[jfalkon]

Thanks guys!!!

I was too busy looking at other peoples' stories to look what was being said about mine. LOL

 

 

I wonder how big the college is. I was surprised when Austin knew Matt's name! It's not odd that Matt would have known him since he stood out so much, but I would have thought that Matt would just sink into the background at a university unless people specifically knew him. I wonder if this means that Austin had feelings for Matt?

 

I'll also say that I was a bit surprised that they didn't kiss. I thought for sure that mention of the rumour started about Matt and that girl years ago was foreshadowing!

 

Anyway, awesome job, JFalkon! I really enjoyed this one!

 

-Kevin

 

 

In my area colleges really have a range when it comes to size. I work at one now and it's pretty small. I was basing this story a little on my own experiences. As I recall there was always a set of faces and names that I recognized as friends of freinds or people I kept having classes with but never talked to. There were always a few goofey students who made fun of each other even though they didn't know each other well. I was basing Austin's familiarity with Matt and his friends on that.

 

I wanted to make the characters know each other a little but not well enough to trust each other. I also wanted to make theme seem a little young and insecure like many of us are when we first go to college. That is why I didn't have Austin and Matt kiss. I was afraid it would come off as forced and what kind of a person would I be if I forced my poor inocent characters to kiss each other? Maybe I'll do that In the next story I write.

[jfalkon]

This story had a good plot, which I enjoyed and which kept me interested in what was going to happen next. The characters were interesting, and I liked the 'twist' of Tony hugging Austin. At first that took me by surprise, but on reflection, it shouldn't have been so surprising.

 

Once the guys were in the crypt and the dialogue really started, I thought it flowed well. However, in the first half of the story (and this may just be my personal taste) I found the short, staccato sentences made the narrative feel very disjointed. Despite that, which may indeed be just my personal preference, I was drawn in and entertained by this story.

 

Thank you, jfalkon!

 

Kit

 

Hi Kit,

 

I sometimes have that problem with making things flow. I tried to fix it with the help of a few very kind GA members but some of that chopiness was hard to get rid of. It's not just you. I really do strugle a little with this.

 

Thanks for the nice comments. I'm glad it was enjoyable on the whole.

 

BJF

[wildone]

I really like this story .

 

The first thing off the top, was that maybe I was reading a bit too much into the title. I was expecting the mausoleum to collapse on Matt, thus making him truly buried. Thank gosh that didn't happen and the encounter with Austin was a much more pleasant direction .

 

The whole Tony/Austin thing did come to mind, but I did remember that jfalkon did mention that the frat boys were drunk when they rescued Matt and Austin. To tell the truth, I really did not get the feeling that Austin was in a relationship as the only real reference was to the ex-boyfriend. Just my thoughts.

 

Another thing that kind of stuck out to me was the symbolism of the fog. Not sure if jfalkon intended it or not, but it did seem to reflect Matt in a few ways. The fog rolled in and cloaked everything, sort of the way that Matt cloaked his true feelings about the same sex. It was also under this fog that Matt and Austin were able to relate, but nobody could hear or see it either. If this wasn't the intention, then great job anyways.

 

Thanks for the story

 

Steve