Days that Hold On by Jfalkon

[Graeme]

Days that Hold On by Jfalkon

 

There are some times in our lives that stand out. These experiences shape us and make us who we are, but most of all they refuse to let us forget.

 

 

:nuke: :nuke: Spoilers Below!!! :nuke: :nuke:

[AFriendlyFace]

Days that Hold On

 

by Jfalkon

**Spoilers**

 

 

This piece is somehow both what I would have expected from Jfalkon while simultaneously not at all something I would have anticipated. As always there is the same intensity of emotion. The brief, well-done gore rings true. The imagery is certainly as compelling as always. This time however; there is much less story-telling. This time Jfalkon takes us on a brief, but very intense reflection. The story is a sort of introspective delight.

 

I was taken by the vivid dream/high that the protagonist experienced and I very much believed that he had indeed killed Dylan. The whole experience seemed to ring true of a bad 'trip' and I was expecting that when we returned to present times the protagonist would be in some sort of facility. Certainly it was a relief to discover that he had not killed Dylan. Yet the irony of course is that in the dream version, in an indirect way, the little red pill killed Dylan, and then in real life, the little red pill still claimed Dylan life, again in an indirect way, through Dylan's addiction. How very ironic.

 

This story is also 'different' in the sense that it sort of tells the other side to "Carpe Diem." Sometimes impulsiveness and seizing the day can result in reckless, destructive behaviour.

 

This story was very thought provoking and psychologically thrilling! It raised questions and addressed fears of letting life pass you by, general failure, disappointing others, being alone, confronting your fears, hurting someone you care about, committing a despicable act, and generally finding yourself trapped in some way.

 

Excellent job, Jfalkon!

 

-Kevin

[Graeme]

When I first read this, the opening paragraph slid by, not understood. It was only when I got to the ending that I realised what the opening had foretold.

 

The dream sequence was very well done -- I thought it was real. The horror of the event came through loud and clear, and I had to cringe with what was going on. When I learnt it was just a dream, I felt a sigh of relief... only to get hit a second time by the ending of the story.

 

A powerful one-two punch to the emotional solar plexus. Congratulations, Jfalkon, you've done an excellent job

[AFriendlyFace]

The dream sequence was very well done -- I thought it was real. The horror of the event came through loud and clear, and I had to cringe with what was going on. When I learnt it was just a dream, I felt a sigh of relief... only to get hit a second time by the ending of the story.

 

A powerful one-two punch to the emotional solar plexus. Congratulations, Jfalkon, you've done an excellent job

 

As an interesting contrast I have to admit my emotional reaction to the second part - learning of Dylan's real life, actual death - was significantly less than my reaction when I thought the narrator had killed him.

 

I think that is for a couple of reasons. First off, I think that someone who "kills themselves" very gradually over many years as a result of their addiction is a bit less sympathetic of a character than someone who dies in a one time bad incidence, especially if they die at the hands of someone else. Certainly dying of an addiction is still terrible and pitiable, but it's a bit less of a shock and while it's still very sad, it's a bit easier to hold the person accountable because presumably they had ample opportunity to get help for their addiction. They also had many more years to "enjoy" themselves, and in general it seems more like they made their decision and knew what they were getting into.

 

The primary difference though I think is that I was strongly identifying with the narrator. I can imagine how horrific it must have been to realize that my actions had resulted in the violent murder of someone I knew and cared about. Obviously I'd be sad if someone I liked died regardless, but if I thought I had literally killed them I'd be much more traumatized.

 

Anyway, I guess what I'm saying is that the dream sequence resulted in a horrified, tragic, shocked sort of emotional reaction; whereas the later matter-of-fact style revelation that Dylan had ultimately died through his addiction was more of a mildly sad, sort of "awww, what a shame."

 

 

Regardless though, as is probably quite evident, I thoroughly enjoyed this story and became very much engrossed and invested!

 

 

-Kevin

[DragonFire]

I actually thought the dream was real as well. Like Graeme, the opening line hovered in the back of my mind, but its significance didn't register until the very end with the use of past tense. I do admit to scrolling back to re-read it to clarify.

 

Excellent work on this.

[Dolores Esteban]

A cold shudder ran through my body when I read your story. I experienced something similar many years ago, less violent though. You described the horror pretty well. The opening line was excellent. The message of the story is plain and clear.

 

Great

[jfalkon]

Thanks everyone!

I think I just drew on my own fears for this one. The idea of killing someone by a careless act is scary for me. I once had a terrible experience on the road. A dog was hit by a car and it was dragging its back end and it looked like it would die on the side of the road. That was bad enough but as soon as I moved my car I realized that the dog had not made it all the way to the side of the road. The creature had died right in front the wheal of my car. I'm quite sure it could not have been alive but the memmory is disturbing none the less.

[AFriendlyFace]

Thanks everyone!

I think I just drew on my own fears for this one. The idea of killing someone by a careless act is scary for me. I once had a terrible experience on the road. A dog was hit by a car and it was dragging its back end and it looked like it would die on the side of the road. That was bad enough but as soon as I moved my car I realized that the dog had not made it all the way to the side of the road. The creature had died right in front the wheal of my car. I'm quite sure it could not have been alive but the memmory is disturbing none the less.

Awwww

[C James]

Very well done indeed.

 

The "monument" reference in the first paragraph made me think of a tombstone, and as the story continued I was wondering whose.

 

The dream sequence had me wondering, because of a big clue; he took the pill and the effects began right away. For reality, that doesn't fit, but for a dream, is certainly does.

 

The ending was indeed sad, but the moral, to me, overrides it. There can indeed be too much "living for today" with no thought of the future.

 

Thank you, Jfalcon, for a wonderful story, made all the more poignant by its sad end.

[kitten]

I very much enjoyed this story. It drew me in completely, right from the beginning, though I must admit that I missed the significance of the 'monument' until it was pointed out by others in this discussion thread. As Kevin said, this story shows that there is a darker side to 'Carpe Diem'. It shows that being impulsive and thoughtless is not the same as grasping opportunities and enjoying what we have now.

 

When discussing some of your previous stories I've commented on the short, sharp sentences. This wasn't something that occurred to me with this story, so I guess there are three possibilities: the sentences now flow more smoothly, I've grown more accustomed to the style, or the style fits this story so perfectly that I didn't notice. Being far too lazy to actually analyse this and come to a conclusion, I will just say that I enjoyed both story and style.

 

Anyway, great story!

 

Kit

[sat8997]

I also thought the dream was real. Good job and an interesting spin on the theme.

[Ieshwar]

I really liked this story and especially, the way Jfalkon has interpreted the theme of the anthology. I thought the dream was true too and I dreaded what was coming next. Like Kevin, I was more shaken by the dream than the ending.

 

Very well written. I loved the imagery.

 

take care,

Ieshwar

[jfalkon]

Thanks! I'm glad you liked it.

It's funny how sometimes I write something in a hurry and it just works out.

[Benji]

.......Funny I thought of a tombstone in that first sentence, the dream sequence took me for a ride, I too thought he had killed Dylan. It was only until the end that it struck me that the 'hideous bloodshot eye' red pill was the demon of his dreams. A symbolic prophecy unheeded by Dylan, leaving regret for the roommate.

[Procyon]

A very enjoyable story. Made me think of something I read about in the news a few years ago where a girl of 17 had pulled out most of her teeth after she'd taken some kind of hallucinogen, thinking that there was a green snake stuck in her throat and wanting to get it out... Scary business, drugs, and the idea of waking up knowing you've (possibly) done something horrible but not quite remembering.

 

On a less serious note, I liked this line: "Engineering isn