The Boy Who Cried Sorry by Meeko

[Graeme]

The Boy Who Cried Sorry by Meeko

 

Common words evoke extraordinary emotions as the reality of neglect and abuse intrude on a fairy tale world.

 

 

:nuke: :nuke: Spoilers Below!!! :nuke: :nuke:

[AFriendlyFace]

The Boy Who Cried Sorry

 

By Meeko

**Spoilers**

 

Wow! What a rough and emotional ride! It's almost impossible not to sympathize with poor Smiles' plight. In many ways this piece reminded of several of Vlista's stories. Indeed, Meeko really seems to have captured the feeling, desperation, and cruelty excellently.

 

I was definitely curious about who the "hazel eyes" that were mentioned early on in the story belonged to. Jack really was an enigmatic character and he continually kept me guessing. How delightful that fortunate that he was able to look beyond the bruised and dirty surface and see Smiles' inner beauty.

 

I'm really curious about what happened after the story ended. How did Smiles' dad get along without Smiles' there to do everything for him? What did become of Smiles? Did he live in a homeless shelter as he said he would or did Jack's family take him in?

 

Anyway, excellent story, Meeko, and you definitely kept the readers guessing and wanting more!

 

-Kevin

[wildone]

Wow, what a emotional wrenching story Meeko, and I mean that in a good way. For a story to take me from lows to highs several times is well thought out and written. To finish off the story on a high definitely made the rollarcoaster ride worth it.

 

I was thinking how I would make a post, and then read Kevin's and thought how he said everything I was thinking.

 

For some reason, I enjoy stories of the underdog who overcomes his oppressors and makes a better life for themselves. Like Kevin, I was thinking of some of Vlista's stories. I can not even begin to guess what life would be like for Smiles. I think that him using the word Sorry as really his only defense mechanism really made me feel for him. Considering he knew that the word usually didn't stop the abuse of his father and bullies, it was all he had to grasp onto.

 

I think Jack realized that early on, and made it his personal challenge to get Smiles to realize this. Funny how Smiles saw Jack as The Prince. He was definitely the Prince in my mind.

 

I guess all I could ask for is for more . I know an anthology is a short story, but this story craves to have more to it. Leaving it off where you did was a good point, as it leaves the reader to decide what the future holds for Smiles. In my ending, they both have rough patches ahead that eventually leads to Smiles finally finding the trust, and the love, that he so desperately needs.

 

Great story Meeko, and thanks for sharing .

 

Steve

Edited June 15, 2009 by wildone

[AFriendlyFace]

I guess all I could ask for is for more . I know an anthology is a short story, but this story craves to have more to it. Leaving it off where you did was a good point, as it leaves the reader to decide what the future holds for Smiles. In my ending, they both have rough patches ahead that eventually leads to Smiles finally finding the trust, and the love, that he so desperately needs.

I think you're right! It's a great ending but it certainly does leave you wanting more!

 

 

I will say one more thing I enjoyed from the story was the fairytale aspect of it. It starts off very much in fairytale style and "Smiles" has a fairytalish name, but it's beautifully contrasted by the fact that the story is anything but a fairytale. Smiles is daily treated to a harsh helping of painful reality. I think then that the use of "The Prince" as Smiles name for Jack is perfect. It restores the fairytale tone set earlier in the piece just when things finally do begin to go in fairytale fashion for Smiles

 

I really enjoyed that aspect of it and am glad that I considered it more carefully.

 

 

-Kevin

[Benji]

..........The fairytale aspect kept my emotions in check over the abuse the boy was getting. It was in that theme that I kept expecting to see either his mother, or a woodcutter racing in to rescue him. Or Smiles could have given dear old dad a going away gift to his kisser, geeze at least keyed his car before he left. But as in all fairytale's that begin with 'once upon a time' there is a happy ending, with no sequel planned!! Great story, I enjoyed it!

[Dolores Esteban]

I very much enjoyed this beautiful and sad story. It started as a fairytale, but it soon turned into quite a nightmare. I was so sorry for Smiles and I feared for his life. I hoped for a happy ending, but I was not so sure about it. I'm glad Smiles took his courage in his hands and abandoned his old life. I would like to know how the story continues.

 

A very good story

[C James]

Quite a roller-coaster ride! (and I mean that in a good way).

 

Definitely leaves the reader wanting more. Always a good thing, IMHO.

 

Well done!

[Ieshwar]

I read it as a modern-day fairy tale. But Smiles suffered a worst fate than the princesses. And I'm glad that instead of waiting for help (like the princesses), Smiles took the matter in his hand and helped himself.

 

Very well-done.

 

Take care,

Ieshwar

[Tiff]

I read it as a modern-day fairy tale. But Smiles suffered a worst fate than the princesses. And I'm glad that instead of waiting for help (like the princesses), Smiles took the matter in his hand and helped himself.

 

A modern day fairytale would be the best way to describe it, with Smile suffering constant abuse, and in the end things work out, but unlike most fairytales, he did not have a savior. Like Ieshwar mentioned, Smiles took control and helped himself, which was what really made it a modern type of fairytale, since people must rely on themselves. That was one of the best scenes in the entire story, when the whole mood and tide kind of shifted and even Smiles father was shocked by the surge of strength Smiles showed.

 

Oh, and I love Jack. He was cute

 

As the others have said, there was some finality to the ending, but it does also leave the readers wanting more or wondering what happens with them, so maybe you could continue writing or something *hint-hint*

 

Great job, Brillo pad hair.

 

P.S. Sorry for delayed comment.

[jfalkon]

A well written story,

I love the way it was described like a fairy tail. It was as if he were still holding on to his mother's stories.