Stayed Too Long At The Fair by Sabat

[Graeme]

Stayed Too Long At The Fair by Sabat

 

Tom and Andrew were two friends trying to learn to make the most of today, for they didn't know what tomorrow would bring.

 

 

:nuke: :nuke: Spoilers Below!!! :nuke: :nuke:

[AFriendlyFace]

Stayed Too Long At The Fair

 

by Sabat

**Spoilers**

 

I found this story to be so sad and moving. I thoroughly enjoyed it though. I have to say that I didn't see Madame Zula's prediction of Tom's death coming at all. Once it was mentioned though it certainly upped the tension a great deal. I was sure something would happen on the Ferris wheel. Of course it didn't, but by the time Tom was in the car I was pretty suspicious of what might happen.

 

It's pretty ironic that in a manner of speaking Andrew caused Tom's death, both by leading him to the psychic and by calling him.

 

The last line is very powerful and haunting:

 

"I love you. I should have told you a long time ago." Andrew's voice was clear now but nobody could hear it.

 

 

Well done, Sabet! very good story!

 

-Kevin

[Graeme]

It's always difficult when you involve psychics to determine if the psychic is making or predicting the future event.

 

Andrew set things up to try to have a chance with getting through to Tom. Was the prediction a true seeing, and Andrew's wishes just happen to coincide with reality, or was it like a self-fulfilling prophecy, where making the prophecy sets up the conditions to make it come true?

 

I can see a couple of themes in this story. Besides Andrew's unexpressed, until too late, desires, there is Tom's pining for something that was over. Andrew was lost in a world of "I Wish" and Tom was lost in a world of "What Could Have Been". The killer failure of many relationships -- a lack of communication -- led them to yet another failure, though most, if not all, of the responsibility has to lie with Andrew. He's the one who wasn't communication. Tom was, at least with Andrew, though not with his ex.

 

Overall, a sad tale, but a strong one. Thanks, Sabat You should be proud of this story.

[AFriendlyFace]

It's always difficult when you involve psychics to determine if the psychic is making or predicting the future event.

 

Andrew set things up to try to have a chance with getting through to Tom. Was the prediction a true seeing, and Andrew's wishes just happen to coincide with reality, or was it like a self-fulfilling prophecy, where making the prophecy sets up the conditions to make it come true?

 

That is indeed the crux of the situation in my opinion as well. Is it all a matter of unavoidable, oedipal style fate, or is more a matter of self-fulfillment? I'm inclined to think unavoidable fate that coincided.

 

I can see a couple of themes in this story. Besides Andrew's unexpressed, until too late, desires, there is Tom's pining for something that was over. Andrew was lost in a world of "I Wish" and Tom was lost in a world of "What Could Have Been". The killer failure of many relationships -- a lack of communication -- led them to yet another failure, though most, if not all, of the responsibility has to lie with Andrew. He's the one who wasn't communication. Tom was, at least with Andrew, though not with his ex.

 

I would have to completely disagree. I think Tom is almost wholly responsible for what happened, and most definitely primarily responsible. I believe that people are generally masters' of their own destinies, at least if they aren't being literally forced to do something. Tom made the decision to see the psychic. Tom made the decision to go for a drive after drinking - and right after his death had just been predicted no less! Tom made the decision to speak on the phone while driving in an unfamiliar neighbourhood at night. And Tom made the decision to take his eyes off the road and go searching for the phone.

 

Andrew played a role no doubt, but he didn't actually force Tom to do anything. Of course, on the other hand, I guess to some extent Andrew did set things in motion and I am reminded of this section very much from what Graeme has said:

 

"Will you do something for me?" He asked Tom, who nodded and agreed without question. That was one of the things he loved about him, he trusted Andrew. The thought made Andrew blush, a flash of heat under the skin as he considered how easy it was to abuse trust. Still it was too late to have that kind of thought now. "Follow me." He said as he headed back out into the crowds.

 

Perhaps Andrew did ultimately abuse that trust. I can certainly see a case being made for that; however, personally I think the responsibility is primarily Tom's.

 

 

 

-Kevin

[Graeme]

I wasn't quite clear enough. I meant that Andrew was the mainly responsible for the lack of communication that led to the tragic event. If he had spoken up earlier, Tom may very well not have been in the car. I agree that Tom's responsible for the drink-driving, and the other things he did while driving, but all of that could have been short-circuited if Andrew had tried to communicate earlier.

[C James]

Well done!

 

When a story, particuarly a short story, is open to several interpretations, I like it. The role of the psychic; did she predict, or cause?

Same for Andrews role, in a way.

 

Thanks for the story!

[kitten]

Great story!

 

I very much enjoy the writing style and understated humour in this story. The complicated chains of causality were also food for thought. I didn't much like Andrew, who should have been more open about his feelings instead of trying to be so manipulative.

 

The ending didn't come as a surprise; I guessed what was going to happen as soon as Tom was in the car. Personally, I would have preferred a different ending, one in which Andrew suffered the ironic consequences of his actions and Tom escaped unscathed.

 

For example, had I been given the story up to leaving the fortune teller, I would have made it so that Tom went back to his ex-bf and revealed all his true feelings, asking the ex-bf what he would do if it was his last day. Then the ex-bf would grab Tom and decide that now Tom has opened up, maybe they can give things another try. I think that would be more ironic because Andrw's trick with the fortune teller would have rebounded on him by driving Tom back to the ex-bf. However, it's Sabat's story and the way he chose to end it is good.

 

Thanks for the story!

 

Kit

[Dolores Esteban]

Although I saw the end coming, I hoped for a happy ending all the time while reading the story. I was truly shocked when I read the last line. A well done story

[sat8997]

Excellent job! I enjoyed that.