[Corvus] talk by corvus

[Graeme]

talk by corvus

 

Tomasz (a recent college graduate, gay, un-employed) finds it difficult to talk to his mother, even in the last months she has to live.

 

 

:nuke: :nuke: Spoilers Below!!! :nuke: :nuke:

[Graeme]

At the start of the story, I get the strong impression that Tomasz is numb, and had been numb for several months. He oscillated between enduring his dying mother, and casual sex. There was no passion in that sex that I could detect -- it was just something to fill in the time, as far as I could tell. Something that wasn't looking after his mother. His life was on hold, waiting....

 

It was only at the end that I sensed that maybe, just maybe, he had turned the corner and was ready to put his life back on track.

[Nephylim]

Yeah. I got that sense of numbness. It was a very gripping story. I love the strong emotions compared to the dull, hopeless, dry, emotionless sex diaries. Isn't that opposite to the way it's supposed to be/

[Procyon]

Tomasz is at that point in life where things can go either way; he can still sort things out or it could end in disaster -- I was at that point for a very long time myself, so it's very easy for me to identify with him. You've had everything served on a silver platter, and then you're supposed to live up to people's expectations and you find it's much harder than you thought. And then, people begin to show their disappointment.

 

What I think is great about this story, though, is that there's still hope throughout -- the subtle, blackish humour ("In May, nine months after he was supposed to have started his grand American novel, Tomasz started writing. He began a sex diary") makes Tomasz's life bearable to the reader, and the ending is hopeful even though his mother has just died and he is effectively alone in the world.

 

This was a very compelling read, and -- being me -- I enjoyed it very much. Write more short stories!!

[Graeme]

It make be just a cultural thing that I'm not aware of, but is there any significance to the two names used for the protagonist? Is it like James and Jim (essentially synonyms), or is there something else about it (like Jimmy and Jim, where the former is more 'childish' than the latter)?

[corvus]

Neph -- thanks for the comment -- and I suppose that means Tomasz is a bit dysfunctional.

 

Procyon -- and you sound a bit like Bishop! jk. Your comment kind of made me wonder if that was subconsciously how I was feeling, but I don't think so -- I at least have a better idea of what I want to do, as well as how painful the future will be when it comes down to it. (Working like Nate at lab? egads) Glad this was a good read.

 

Graeme -- thanks for the comment , and yes, Tomek is an affectionate shortening of Tomasz. (Although I only know it for this case -- Polish isn't at all in my background.)

 

[Procyon]

The story made me wonder if you were feeling like that, a bit, but I never really thought so -- you've too clear an idea of what you want to do, and will do, even though it won't always be easy. Although really I think you'll have a great time at lab, you don't need to work like Nate... haha.

 

But I think everyone has had that Tomek feeling at one time or another -- who doesn't have moments of doubt? and a feeling of failure, even if it's very temporary? Not to mention disappointing your parents, sometimes I think that's the meaning of life... j/k.

 

I liked the way you portrayed him a lot, btw. With sympathy and that gentle ironic humour. He deserved that.

[Red_A]

To me this portrays, what I have seen several times. Sickness does not always bring sweetness and light. The numbness when the carer cannot handle the irrational patient, then the release some time after the death.

 

The story to me is a very sucessful story

 

PS all my Polish friends in my youth had diminutives, their family never called them by their main name unless they were in deep trouble.

[Procyon]

To me this portrays, what I have seen several times. Sickness does not always bring sweetness and light. The numbness when the carer cannot handle the irrational patient, then the release some time after the death.

 

The story to me is a very sucessful story

 

PS all my Polish friends in my youth had diminutives, their family never called them by their main name unless they were in deep trouble.

 

My grandmother, who was Russian, always called me by a diminutive of the diminutive that my parents were already calling me... a Russianified diminutive.

 

So yeah, I really liked the Tomasz / Tomek thing here, that made it more achey and more personal.

[Toast]

I am assuming Tomasz's mother was in her forties. That the earlier bitterness of a failed marriage fed into the her worst fears of dying. People often avoid. And often they avoid by finding a bigger pain to camouflage the one they have no control over. Maybe being a bitch gave her some control over the pain. Maybe Tomasz did the same thing with the meaningless sex. He could control it. It hurt him but there was pleasure too. He could mask his soul. Until it was all just over.

 

Well done Corvus, extremely well done.

[corvus]

Red_A -- thanks for the comment, that's exactly the sort of situation I had in mind when I wrote the story.

 

Procyon -- glad you found my spot of local color successful.

 

Sam -- thanks for the comment. It's as insightful as your poems, heh.