"Winter Holiday" by Sinbad

[Guest Kitty]

Discuss Sinbad's Winter Anthology story, "Winter Holiday", in this thread.

[Guest Kitty]

*** SPOILER ALERT***

 

 

Proceed at your own risk if you haven't read the story yet.

 

 

[Camy]

The great thing about this, for me, is that being from a Yorkshire family I know the locations well.

Stylistically parts of it reminded me of Alan Bennett, an English author, playwright and actor who is not only brilliant, but from Yorkshire too - so I couldn't help but read it 'with accent'. The 'I'm the only gay in the village' joke made me laugh, but probably won't grab those who haven't seen 'Little Britain' (if you get a chance to see it, then do!)

 

The only thing that let it down was the lack of an ending.

 

Good story. I'd very much like to read more of your writing.

 

Camy

[Sinbad]

Thank you very much for your kind comments about my story - so glad you liked it!

 

The 'I'm the only gay in the village' joke made me laugh, but probably won't grab those who haven't seen 'Little Britain' (if you get a chance to see it, then do!)

 

The only thing that let it down was the lack of an ending.

 

Good story. I'd very much like to read more of your writing.

 

Camy

 

I wondered how many readers would get the reference to the 'Little Britain' sketch show from UK Television. Should I have left it out, or explained it in the story? I don't know. Can you have 'in' jokes in stories like this? I judged it would be okay, those who get it feel happy that they're in on the joke, those who don't won't know what they're missing - and explaining it would slow the narrative down. What do you guys think?

 

Yes, the ending is a bit abrupt, though it definitely ends since Joel rides away on a train. But there is a reason for the ending being like that: I originally wrote the story to post in efiction and to be the first of a series of stories with the same lead characters. To that end there are a couple of 'hooks' in the story which are unresolved and are intended to pull the reader into the next story in the series. But just after I finished the story I discovered the Winter Anthology topic and that my story was tailor-made for that - except a little too long. So I cut out some stuff and submitted for the anthology. I'm planning to ask if I can re-post the original longer story to efiction so that as I add further stories the set will be together.

 

Glad you liked the story. I have another one on the boil (not the same series) which definitely does have an ending. It should be on efiction within a week - or since tomorrow is bank holiday I might even get it finished in a day!

 

Sinbad

[TheZot]

I wondered how many readers would get the reference to the 'Little Britain' sketch show from UK Television. Should I have left it out, or explained it in the story? I don't know. Can you have 'in' jokes in stories like this? I judged it would be okay, those who get it feel happy that they're in on the joke, those who don't won't know what they're missing - and explaining it would slow the narrative down. What do you guys think?

I think you called it exactly right. It had a clear meaning for those of us with no clue as to the background, but it was a little bonus for people who did know, and it was a reference that in the context of the story worked for dialog. I think you're good to go there.

 

(And I do really want to see the longer version, as well as the follow-ons. I don't think anyone'll mind you posting the longer version to e-fiction, and now that you've mentioned that follow-on stories exist I think you may get pestered until you post those, too. )

[Graeme]

I'd definitely like to see the longer version. You've got a good solid style that I found very, very easy to read.

 

Yes, I got the Little Britain reference, and it isn't really an in joke. I can imagine someone in Britain saying that, because that phrase is just so well known. I did a similar thing in one of my stories -- I described someone as "seventy, not out", which anyone from cricketing nation would understand, but I had one American wonder if that mean that the guy was a seventy-year-old closeted gay

 

I spent 12 months in the UK about ten years ago, and that included a weekend up in the Lakes District, so I can imagine some of the scenes you described. In particular, those little shops with doors that aren't designed for someone who is 6'. A wattle-and-daub row of shops was my immediate impression, with the heavy wooden lintel.

 

Well done!

 

Graeme

[Bart]

I loved it. Hell, I could feel it stir my loins. But I'm sure that's too much information.

those who get it feel happy that they're in on the joke, those who don't won't know what they're missing - and explaining it would slow the narrative down. What do you guys think?

 

I didn't 'get it' but it didn't hurt one bit. You made the right choice in leaving it there, and in not explaining it.

 

I echo the sentiments of others: please get the longer story out there, and add to it with 'sequels'.

 

BTW, I've been in Search and Rescue, and everyone, including volunteers, always have to sign a waiver before being allowed to help. Maybe it's different in England?

[C James]

Excellent!

 

I do hope that you post the longer version, and MORE!

 

I loved the local color. I've spent time in the area, and you describe it very well indeed.

 

The bit about the Telescope was a classic! And I think the "Only gay in the village" worked great. I had no clue about it until I started reading the thread, but it worked for me anyway.

[Graeme]

I should add that I've never watched Little Britain but I knew the phrase 'Only gay in the village' anyway. I had to smile because I'm sure he looked nothing like Daffyd.

 

For those who want to know who Daffyd is, check out the Little Britain Character Guide for Daffyd

 

Many authors have little bits in their stories that only some readers pick up on. I remember someone telling me about one of Terry Pratchett's Diskworld stories, and how a friend laughed at all the 'wrong' parts -- because the friend understood the references that went over most readers' heads.

[Sinbad]

Thank you all so much for your kind comments about my story. It gives me a warm feeling inside that you liked it!

 

By popular request (!) the original longer version of the story is now back on e-fiction. And so is another story, not the same series, I've just finished. I will try to add further stories in the series as soon as I can get them written.

 

Sinbad

[Luc]

I really enjoyed reading your story. I recognized some of the location references as I was reading, mostly because of things I have read and watched. I caught on to the name of the pub,

[Sinbad]

Thanks for your kind comments, Luc!

 

I really liked Joel. He felt very real. The way he described things was definitely through a photographer

[Ieshwar]

Thanks for your kind comments, Luc!

Yes I'm very much into photography - and I have some photos which would illustrate the story quite well. I don't know if it's possible to submit pictures with a story in e-fiction. I guess I'll have to ask one of the team at some point. Glad you like Joel, I like him too!

 

Sinbad

 

 

Hi,

 

Probably one of the best I real in the anthology.

 

I really enjoyed this story. It made me read till the end without any break. And I certainly don’t regret.

 

It was very sweet and I'm surely going to read the e-fiction ones. I'm just a bt busy with school and my new story.

 

Hope to read much more from you.

 

Ieshwar