The Members' Page

On this page you will find articles specifically tailored for GA members, including an interview with a prominent member and information about the site and forums you might find useful.

Page 5

Member Interview

When trying to decide who was the perfect member to interview for this month’s newsletter, we wanted to find someone active in the GA community who would be well known and visible to our readers, and who also contributes to the site in many different ways. With these criteria in mind, our thoughts naturally went to Kurt!

Kurt has been a member of GA since last February; he’s the Teen Spot forum moderator and a member of the Recruitment Team. Kurt is also a busy high school student involved in activities at his school and he works at a part-time job. Since he has so much on his plate, GA is indeed fortunate that Kurt was able to find the time to sit down and talk with us!

GA: Thanks for taking the time to do this for us, Kurt! Why don't you start by telling everyone a little bit about yourself?

Kurt: I am 16 years old, I am a junior in High school, and I work at a Mexican restaurant. I enjoy reading, and the outdoors.

GA: Wow! Sounds like a pretty busy life! So then you're a big fan of Mexican food huh?

Kurt: I like it, at the restaurant that I work at, I think that the food is very good. Working there has really helped me experience the different types of Mexican foods, so yeah, I guess that you could call me a Mexican food fan. <smiles>

GA: <lol> Maybe we can get you to cater all the GA events then! So I hear that not only are you active at school and work, but you're also the moderator of the Teen Spot forum, right?

Kurt: Yeah

GA: I know GA is proud to have you doing it too! That forum provides quite a bit of support to our teen members. Have you had any experiences with receiving advice from the forum?

Kurt: <smiles> Tons, The Teen Spot forum, and the people that comment there, have helped me in quite a few ways. Probably the biggest thing that it has done, is help me come out to more people, and to deal with it all.

GA: That is incredible! It's really inspiring to hear about things like that going well for people <smiles>. So what's the best piece of advice you got from the forum?

Kurt: Well, I guess that the best piece of advice that I got from the forum would have to be all the encouragement to go to my first GSA meeting.

GA: Wow, GSA's! That's so terrific. It's a shame all schools don't have them. Did your GSA help you meet other people?

Kurt: Well, I pretty much already knew most of the people that went to GSA, but it did help me build a few stronger friendships. As far as events, I guess the only real event that I took part in through GSA, so far, would be the “Day of Silence”. That was a big day for me. Hopefully this year I will be able to take part in more events since I am in the group from the beginning of the year.

GA: I'm sure you'll be able to then <smiles>. So the “Day of Silence”, wow! That must have taken a great deal of courage. Did you have mostly positive results from it?

Kurt: Yes, mostly positive things came from the “Day of Silence”, I had only one minor issue with a fellow student, otherwise everything went well. The Day of Silence, for anyone that does not know, is a day where students choose to be silent the entire day, not communicating in any way. By doing this, the students are showing there support to the GBLT community.

GA: That's really awesome! Did many other people in your school participate?

Kurt: I think that there was a pretty good turn out, out of about 1500 students, I think about 45 participated.

Kurt: I was really nervous about doing the “Day of Silence”, I had heard some pretty bad stories from previous years. In previous years at my school, there have been people with signs saying bad things in front of the school, and other students handing out bibles at school. Nothing like that happened this year, so it appears that things, at least at my school, are improving concerning tolerance.

GA: That's great, hopefully this trend is one that takes place around the country and world. So just out of curiosity what other activities around GA are you involved in?

Kurt: Well, I am a member of the Author Recruitment Team, I am the editor for “It Feels Like Monday” (Written by Tom), which is posted in the eFiction, and I also have a short story posted in eFiction.

Kurt: <laughs> I am also an avid reader.

GA: Wow, you do get around! So then who are some of your favourite GA authors?

Kurt: <laughs> The easiest question you have asked all night <smiles> Vance Lista is truly an amazing author! I also really enjoy Dom Luka and Dan Kirk's stories. <smiles> and the list goes on, Luc, Krista, Lugh...

GA: That's really quite a list full of talent! It's no wonder you read so much with authors like that around <smiles>. So you mentioned editing, have you found that to be more or less difficult than you anticipated?

Kurt: Well, I guess you can say both. I found that I really enjoy doing it, so that makes it 'easy' but it is hard to find the time to do it, so that makes it difficult. I guess overall, it is easier than I thought it would be, but that may just be because I am not a very good editor. <Laughs>

GA: <lol> I'm sure you're great! What about the recruitment team? How does that work?

Kurt: Well, we as a team, go to other sites on the internet that have gay fiction, and read and explore the different authors out there. We then discuss the different authors that we think may have the quality of writing, amongst a few other things, to be hosted here at GA. We also look at authors suggested from GA members. We then make our decisions based on what we have found out about the different authors.

Kurt: If you know an author that you would like to see hosted here at GA, you can e-mail me (kurt@gayauthors.org) or any other Author Recruitment member with your suggestion. <smiles>

GA: That certainly sounds like a thorough and fair process. It looks like you guys have had some great results too! So how did you initially find GA anyway?

Kurt: Well, I was reading Dom Luka's “Desert Dropping” at Nifty, and there was only about 10 chapters posted there. So I looked around a little and 'poof' GA appeared! <laughs> and, there were 10 more chapters of DD! It totally made my day!

GA: <laughs> yep, I think 10 extra chapters of a Dom story would make quite a few members' day!

Kurt: <laughs> yeah!

GA: You also have a blog on GA right?

Kurt: Yeah, I do.

GA: What do you feel are some of the most important things to keep in mind when writing a good blog entry?

Kurt: Umm... that is a good question. <Laughs> I guess an important thing to do is to just be myself.

GA: <smiling> Like life really.

Kurt: yeah.

GA: So lets see the Teen Spot Forum, the recruitment team, eFiction, editing, blogging, and I hear you've even been known to drop by Live Chat huh?

Kurt: <laughs> I am ALWAYS in Live Chat. I am even there right now <laughs>; I am so addicted to Live Chat.

GA: So then which aspect of GA do you think is your favourite?

Kurt: Do I have to pick just one?

GA: <lol> Of course not!

Kurt: <laughs> Well I guess the best part of GA is the people. But I love the stories (of course), the blogs, Live Chat, the forums, everything. <smiles>

GA: Well I have to say it definitely sounds like you do! It's been a real pleasure interviewing you. Do you have any parting words of wisdom for the readers?

Kurt: Read Vance Lista <laughs>

Kurt: I would also like to say that GA has a lot to offer everyone, and if you are a teen, or someone in need of advice, GA, and the Teen Spot Forum, can help you in many ways. I know that it has helped me! Thanks a lot to all the people that make GA what it is!

If you'd like to read Kurt's short story, "The Adventures of Harry and Mousebert" please click here.

AFriendlyFace (Kevin)

Safety on the Net

Over the last decade I've heard countless horror stories about the Internet. The names and faces are different in every one, but essentially all the elements are the same - a kid meets a friend in an internet chatroom or forum and after a while arranges to meet up with them only to find that their "friend" is not quite the person they claimed to be and the next thing you know their body is found face down in a ditch somewhere.

I suppose I could start talking about those extreme cases, sharing stories about teens who have been raped and murdered by people they've met online, but we've all heard the stories and know the risks. Most of us know what to do to avoid putting ourselves in danger. We know that people aren't always who they pretend to be online. We know that you shouldn't agree to meet someone unless you're sure they are who they claim to be and even then you should arrange to meet them in a public place.

The extreme cases are reported all the time. We should pay attention to them and heed the advice we're given, but we should also be aware that these cases are relatively rare. What I want to talk about are the less extreme cases, examples of fairly innocent behaviour - behaviour I'm sure many of us have engaged in at one time or another - for even innocent behaviour can lead to fairly disturbing consequences.

The fact is, you don't have to arrange to meet up with anyone to put yourself at risk. Two years ago, on another forum, I logged in to find a fairly hysterical post by a fifteen-year-old member who, the previous night, had fallen victim to a "prank" by a friend he'd met online. I contacted him when I started writing this article to see if he would be willing to share his experience in The GAzette.

'Eric', now seventeen, told me, "I was stupid. I met this guy online a year before it happened. I'd seen him on his webcam so I knew he was sixteen, just a few months older than me, so I didn't really worry about him being some old pervert out to molest me.

"We'd known each other for about a year and I'd started to have feelings for him. He said he felt the same way about me. We weren't a couple, exactly, but we were definitely well on the way to starting something. One evening we got a little frisky online. It was just flirting, at first, but then I suggested we turn our webcams on. I just wanted to see him as we spoke, but once the webcams went on things got a little out of hand.

"It started off with a few harmless dares. If it had been anyone else there's no way I would even have considered it, but I'll admit that because it was him I was really turned on by the idea.  To cut a long story short, after about an hour I found myself naked and...well...playing with myself. You get the picture.

"About a week later I was going through some of the more adult Yahoo Groups, looking at pictures...you know the sort of thing. Anyway, I clicked on this one file and as soon as it opened I felt sick. The pictures were of me. They were caps of the show I put on for the guy I liked.

"I made a complaint to the owner of that group and he removed them straight away, but a couple of weeks later I found a video of it on another group and then one of my friends online sent me a link to a forum where I found more pictures. Since then I've found the pictures in four more places online. I've managed to get them removed from all but one site, but it was horrible.

"I felt violated and used. No one I know outside of the Internet has ever seen the pictures, but I keep thinking that one day I'll go into school and find them stuck up everywhere or that I'll come home one day to find my Mum in tears and my Dad furious because someone emailed him a link to one of the sites that still has them.

"I spoke to the guy who'd posted them online about two weeks after our webcam session. He told me it was just a joke and that he thought I'd get a kick out of it. He really didn't mean to hurt me, he just did it without thinking, but it didn't matter. I can honestly say it was the most humiliating experience of my life and I can't even begin to think about how many people might have seen the pictures without feeling like I'm going to throw up."

Eric's experience is disturbing, but sadly it's far from unique. There are literally dozens of sites, forums and groups that specialise in sharing webcam videos, many without the consent of the subject, many involving minors. You don't have to fall victim to a paedophile online to find yourself compromised - even a friend can betray you in a thoughtless moment.

It's a cop-out to say that only naive kids fall victim to pranks and predators on the Internet. Eric considered himself to be a 'wary' person, taking steps to ensure that the people he spoke to were who they claimed to be before doing anything more than he describes as 'light flirting'.

It's also foolish to think that minors are the only people at risk. Adults, too, have found themselves in danger when they've gone to see people they've met online, but the danger doesn't just come from predators and psychopaths - sometimes parents can cause a person problems for doing something as 'innocent' as flirting online.

'Steve', a twenty-nine year old from Chicago, agreed to share his experience with me provided his identity was kept confidential. He used to belong to a computer gaming forum and made a number of friends there, adults and minors, regularly talking with them on MSN.

He told me, "There was this one kid I really got along well with. Let's call him 'Harry', to make it easy. Harry and I regularly talked as we were into the same sort of computer games. He was a great kid, smart and very mature for his age. We didn't just talk about computer games. We would regularly talk about politics, education, life, whatever came up.

"His age didn't matter to me. I had a boyfriend and I knew Harry wasn't interested in me that way, so if we engaged in what I call 'playful banter', but I suppose could be thought of as flirting, we both knew that neither of us were serious. We never once talked about meeting. We never talked about exchanging pictures or personal information other than our names and home cities. It was all perfectly innocent.

"A couple of times, during the eight months we talked online, I got a little drunk in the evening and I guess we flirted a little more than usual. It was still nothing major and we both knew it was just for fun, but looking back I guess it could be construed as something more.

"One evening I checked my emails and found a message from Harry telling me that his mother had been through his computer when he was out at school. Not only had she discovered that Harry was gay, but she'd also found our chat logs, among others. He told me he wouldn't be online for a while and that he was really sorry.

"I didn't really think anything of it. I mean, I know he was a kid and I know we flirted with each other, but I never did anything to make him uncomfortable, I never crossed any lines and I'd never once tried to be anything more than a friend to him. I'd done nothing wrong, so I had nothing to be worried about, right?

"I put it out of my mind and just went about things as normal, but not long after that, one day at work, the police turned up and asked me to go with them. I had no idea what was happening or what I'd done to get pulled out of work in the middle of the day, but I soon found out when I got to the police station.

"I was interviewed by an FBI agent, my computer was impounded and even though I wasn't charged that day I was absolutely terrified. I was never charged with anything and my computer was returned to me, so I know I never did anything wrong, but even so, the experience really shook me up. All I did was engage in a bit of innocent flirting and what did I get for it - I was pulled out of work by the cops, dragged down to the police station and treated like some kind of child molester.

"The thing that really angers me is that there's no one to blame for all this. Harry certainly didn't do anything wrong. I guess his mother was just trying to protect him and maybe thought she was doing the right thing. The police were just investigating an allegation and found that I'd done nothing wrong. As for me, perhaps my behavior was foolish, but it wasn't immoral or illegal. Even so, it was an embarrassing and very scary experience."

Steve's experience shows that even innocent behaviour can cause problems. Harmless flirting can be misconstrued by those not party to conversations, by those who have no knowledge of the relationships formed online, by parents just looking out for the welfare of their children.

So what can you do to protect yourself? Should you, as an adult, refuse to have any contact with minors online? Should you, as a minor, be paranoid that everyone is a potential predator?

There is no straightforward answer. Ultimately all you can do is exercise common sense when communicating online and be aware of the risks. When you're communicating with someone online, imagine that they're sitting in the same room as you.  Imagine they're right there and you're talking to them face to face, only there's a video camera there recording everything and the two of you are not the only people who have access to the tape.

If you're an adult, would you flirt with a minor if they were right there in the room with you? Maybe, but would you still flirt with them if your conversation was being recorded and their parents could review it at any time? If you're a teen, would you play 'adult' games with your friends, strip off in front of them, perhaps even do more? Possibly - many of us have at one time or another - but would you still if one of your friends was taking pictures or video taping the experience?

Don't confuse anonymity with privacy. What happens online is almost always recorded, in one form or another, and ultimately it can come back to bite you. It's up to each of us to assess the risks of our behaviour, to imagine the worst possible consequences and decide whether the risk is worth taking. So before you do anything online, ask yourself, if the worst does happen, would you be willing to live with the consequences?

RHawes16