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An English Teen, Circumcised in the USA Reviews

Jeff1%s's Photo

Today, 06:47 AM

(Chapter 27 Review)

Think Ryan did the same as most other kids would have done. However if it was me there would be pay back to those who were the leaders like broken noses and fat lips. Take them one at a time and show them who's boss.
This type of hazing should be banned from schools someone always gets hurt and its humiliating the teaching staff must be aware of what goes on and should be taken to task over this as well.
Payback is due.

waynewrd%s's Photo

Jul 02 2015 09:53 PM

(Chapter 26 Review)

It looks like this version was much harder on Ryan than the last version. It'll be interesting to see where this goes.



View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

After having taken a break from the story a you know, I took the decision to change a few things. I wanted to explore what would happen if Ryan didn’t get “luckily” saved by the bell, because in a real life situation with shrewd scheming teens, they would have all the angles covered. Whatever the reason, they seemed to be confidant they wouldn’t be interrupted, so it made sense to take it to its natural conclusion and then see how that affected the rest of the story.

 

Thanks for reviewing!

mgtbill%s's Photo

Jun 30 2015 03:39 PM

(Chapter 25 Review)

hi riley, (i hope your there)
all these reviews are from 2012?
anyway i read your story, i guess in 2012. it was still going on then. and then you disappeared for awhile. i wanted to reread and then tried all kinds of segannians to try and find where you were. if you were publishing et or the story was on another internet site than ga. finally got 10 chapters that were bedded somewhere on the internet. and i wasn't the only one trying to find you.
anyway, i enjoyed your story in 2012 and am enjoying your return in 2015. i remember the story but i think its somewhat changed but still, a great great read. please keep it coming. i can only get up to chapter 25 (the hang) and it leaves a lot hanging. (pardon me on that). i know there a lot after that chapter.
so the question? are you going to add chapters after 25? do you have a schedule? can you provide a notice when you post a chapter? i think that ga is supposed to do that but they didn't when you reappeared. if you can advise thanks in advance.
great story and thanks for writing.
bill
mgtbill@aol.com



View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

Hi Bill,

 

Yes - I’m here, lol! But you’re right…it’s been a while!

 

I guess life - not all of it good - took over and I stopped writing and ended up unpublishing stuff while I figured out what I wanted to do. Then, since last summer, I started writing again with a hope to finish off ET and at least feel I’d achieved something!

 

So, in answer to your question, yes I do hope there will be lots of new chapters coming out, though like any author, you naturally get motivated to bring out more content if you sense people are reading and beginning to review. I realise that I lost a lot of my readership when I disappeared - which is all my fault - so I think we will see how it goes when we get to new chapters.

 

That said, the first draft of the story is actually finished now, though I tinker a lot, so it will go through lots of revisions to try to get it right!

 

You are right in noting that the story software won’t register updates of existing chapters in the normal place, however, when new chapters come out, it should. in the meantime, there is a thread in the forum under the stories section and I drop a note there every time I update. I think that if you click the link to follow the story you also get automatic notifications on updates.

 

Anyway, thanks for reading and for dropping this note.

 

Riley

Gandalf%s's Photo

Jun 11 2015 12:11 AM

(Chapter 17 Review)

Just as fun as first time. Hang in.



View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

Thanks my friend

milotin%s's Photo

May 29 2015 05:20 PM

(Chapter 12 Review)

I just wanted to say how awesome it is that ET is back. I was totally hooked on this story when it was originally being posted, and it's so exciting to be reading it again and following the trials and tribulations of not just Luke, but Simon, Ryan and Toby. So, a huge thank you for posting again!
Milo

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

And I'm delighted to say that the story - for the most part - is now finished!

peethree%s's Photo

May 16 2015 07:33 PM

(Chapter 3 Review)

Jumping up and down when we get I saw this story had returned.

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

Thanks, lol!

Ron%s's Photo

Aug 15 2013 08:21 PM

(Chapter 10 Review)

Great bit of tension with the search for the newspaper at home. The release at the mention of coupons was spot on.
Timothy M.%s's Photo

Jun 30 2013 04:35 AM

(Chapter 27 Review)

I'm surprised that Ryan didn't go home and blow his brains out with one of his father's guns. Actually that would have served them all right, mainly Luke and Todd, but even more so Mitchell and Landon and the other culprits who hopefully would have been exposed and expelled and maybe even persecuted by the law. I'm so disgusted by the betrayal and cruelty that I actually want Luke (as well as Todd and everyone else) to feel the guilt and remorse of having done something so awful and unforgivable that they drove the good guy to suicide. And I wouldn't mind for Ryan's hateful father to have the stigma of his perfect son killing himself, either.
But I guess it's better to hope that Ryan will get the help he needs to get over the massive trauma and to move on with his life and find someone else to love and be loved by. Cause Luke certainly does not deserve Ryan (or Elliot either for that matter).

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

Hello Timothy - just know getting to the first of your several reviews, and thank you for taking the time to write.

You do get the idea that, if not ready to blow his brains out, he's certainly teetering on the edge of emotional breakdown.

I wish I could say that life - and people - could never be this cruel, or friends let each other down in such awful ways. **** as the say, happens and has happened to more of us than we'd care to admit. So...is it possible to move on? Is it possible to forgive both another and yourself?

Thanks for reading and reviewing.
Riley
%s's Photo

Jun 08 2013 06:29 AM

(Chapter 25 Review)

Xiao Wong. Nice word play there ;)

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

Cut King? :)
Kitt%s's Photo

Apr 22 2013 11:48 AM

(Chapter 18 Review)

LOL I thought the no dating till he was 16 a decent out when you take into account the facts that the smartklamp misrepresented him and that he really did have most of his blood south of the border for other reasons.
And of course we want to hear more about Owen and Olly. You can't simply set up such a first sight connection and leave us hanging!

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

You have to hand it to Luke, it wasn't bad in the circumstances, though it may come back to bite him on the backside. I promise to let you know about Owen and Olly!
Riley
IanGf%s's Photo

Mar 24 2013 05:36 PM

(Chapter 9 Review)

This is really getting good! Thanks RJ
IanGf%s's Photo

Mar 23 2013 08:12 PM

(Chapter 2 Review)

interesting very interesting. i think this is going to be fun to see through
Hector Q Sanchez%s's Photo

Jan 02 2013 09:20 PM

(Chapter 26 Review)

This Hang thing makes waterboarding look like a day at lake. Maybe this ought to be used as a form of torture.
Poor, poor Ry. I feel for him.
Great story telling.
Oh and Happy New Year.

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

Yep - it was really bad - and hard to know now how Ryan will do in the aftermath.

Thanks for reading and reviewing - and a belated Happy New Year to you too!

Riley
milotin%s's Photo

Dec 19 2012 02:31 AM

(Chapter 27 Review)

I've read this twice now. I like the way we've got a glimmer of hope that Ryan be able to let his feelings for Luke, and Luke's trust in him, rise to the surface and help him recover from the trauma that was 'the hang'. I even reckon there's a bit of hope that the taking apart of the SmartKlamp could, just possibly, result in a wonderful, accidental, but deeply-wanted sexual encounter. Then again, there's plenty to go wrong on that front, too, with both guys being keen not to be seen to be gay in front of the other.
As usual - can't wait to read what happens next!
Thanks Riley for the terrific story. :)

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

I'm not sure that Luke and Ryan will have an encounter - at least not in that way. I think there's much too much pain under the surface for that. However, time will tell as to whether trust can be rebuilt.

Thanks for the review!

Riley
Owainthepoen%s's Photo

Dec 16 2012 06:06 PM

(Chapter 27 Review)

Jesus.
I put off reading Broken for most of the week, for good reason. That was harrowing. I sped read my way through both and actually felt relief when the smart klamp broke. ugh.
You've knackered me out now. Going to sleep.
Cheers.

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

Harrowing Owain? Yes - you're not wrong! Hope you slept well, and thanks for the review.

Riley
davewri%s's Photo

Dec 16 2012 04:54 PM

(Chapter 27 Review)

I was truly upset by Chapter 26 and I had to jump to the end part of Chapter 27 before reading all of it. I had to know that things would be better between Luke and Ryan.

When I become so emotionally involved in a story I give credit to the writer.

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

Hello there davewri. Thanks for the review - it's always great to hear from new readers. I wouldn't say it was over yet, but it seems to be heading in the right direction for Luke and Ryan

Riley
Lisa%s's Photo

Dec 16 2012 02:03 PM

(Chapter 27 Review)

I think Luke falling on the steps was the best thing that could have happened to their relationship. Ryan was understandably lashing out at Luke and I think if Luke didn't trip on the stairs and had gotten to Ryan's room, Ryan still would have yelled for him to leave.

I think they're going to be ok. Ryan didn't hesitate to come to Luke when Luke called him. He didn't tell Luke, too bad, you deserve this, I'm not helping you, see how it feels, etc., etc. He didn't hesitate to help Luke. I don't know why Luke turned on him when Ryan admitted to watching the SmartKlamp video. So what? That just shows us that Ryan really cares b/c he wanted to see what Luke was going through.

I was really pleased with Simon also. I'm glad he lashed into his brother. It doesn't matter that Luke regretted not helping Ryan, it doesn't matter that he felt so guilty; he needed to know that it wasn't ok that he didn't do anything. Deep down inside he know that Ryan would have tried to put a stop to it if the roles had been reversed. Yes, and plus Ryan saved Luke from that humiliation.

And Landon and Mitchell: they're a bunch of assholes. Landon just brushes it off as if it were nothing; as if he didn't humiliate and disgrace a "friend" in front ot so many people. He thinks Ryan will be fine? He thinks Ryan will just forgive him? He's delusional.

Terrific chapter Riley! Now I can breathe a sigh of relief, for now anyway, that Ryan is at least talking to Luke. Looking forward to the next chapter. :)

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

I think you're right Lisa. If Luke hadn't fallen then there may well have been no future. Even now, it's not yet over. With the video, I think that Luke was just a bit surprised, that's all. He has no idea how interested Ryan really is.

Landon…delusional? You bet!

Next chapter is just a few clicks away!

Riley
Remijay%s's Photo

Dec 16 2012 11:56 AM

(Chapter 27 Review)

you know me... i have been following this story since last year. Grant it... It's no where near the chapter that it was last year but oh well. A good/great read anyway. The detail and the imaginery that you have put into this chapter, not including other's. It's wonderful, i know a few people that were "hung" but they came back from the humilation of it... Great friends stick with you until the end, even then it goes beyond that... Ry, for his sake took the bullet for a friend. But he didnt expect what happened to him, did. At least he is still the caring friend. Also it helps that he loves Luke. :)
Keep'em coming.
Remijay <3

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

Hi Remijay. Thanks for the thoughts. Like you, I hope the two of them can get past this. Glad you're enjoying the read!

Riley
Carrie76%s's Photo

Dec 16 2012 10:05 AM

(Chapter 27 Review)

Ok Riley. You fixed it and did it wonderfully. Its almost like Karma said " haha kiddo! gotcha back!" I am glad that Luke and Ryan were not seriously hurt. It will take time for the boys to come back together but Ryan helped Luke when he needed it. He is still in his heart so there is a chance. Luke said the one thing that will give them a chance. Luke admitted he needed him. Ryan will need him too and hopefully know it shortly. They will be ok though. One day at a time.
P.S. You are for serious going to have to like send these two to Disney, or Six Flags. Maybe Comic-con or something. Hell right now I would settle for them just going out for an ice cream cone! Keep up the good work dearest and I will be right here waiting for the next chapter... Well maybe not right here because I have to eat left over dinner from last night. :thumbup:

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

Fixed? Maybe…maybe not. AT least they are talking Carrie, and that's a start. And maybe you're right, a time will come where Ryan will need Luke again. Let's hope he doesn't get let down.

You think they should go to Disney? It's a thought - let me know why…and thanks for the review!

Riley
Mike00%s's Photo

Dec 16 2012 05:15 AM

(Chapter 27 Review)

* Re posted*
I'm still feeling angry about the chapter before last, though I need to clarify that I was angry at the events that unfolded. Not at the story itself, or the author. I genuinely love the story, and I had up until that point also really liked Luke. I think I still do, but he made a big mistake, or more appropriately didn't act on something he should have. I also think it's cause I've really taken to Ryan. Perhaps more so than any other character in both the story, and all the other stories I've read over the years. I can just really connect with him. I hope he continues to be a part of the story in some shape or another.
His actions to helping Luke after that awful fall, cement my feelings even more. Despite still hurting physically and emotionally from "the hang" and feeling betrayed by his best friend and his other friends, he still managed to put all that aside when Luke needed his help.
Onto Luke, I'm in two minds, I'll probably know how I feel, better as the story progresses. Though I do hope there's no serious damage to his 'member' after the fall. I feared the worse until they had managed to examine it. He might not have acted the way he should have, but he's not a bad person. Now Landon? I really hopes he gets his. He sooo deserves knocking down a peg or two.
Cheers, Riley. :)

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

Hi Mike - thanks for transferring your review onto the properly published chapter. Though you couldn't say it was completely his fault, it's a complete mess that Luke has ended up with. With the benefit of hindsight, none of us - and least of all him - feel he's done what he should. And he may still pay the price for what was a terrible betrayal.

And Ryan? How he does it, I've no idea, but like you, I hope he can move on.

Thanks.

Riley
Ferd%s's Photo

Dec 12 2012 08:34 PM

(Chapter 26 Review)

I wanted to say what a great story you have written in “An English Teen, Circumcised in the USA”. I discovered it on a Saturday, and could barely tear myself away from it to go to sleep so that I could begin reading again on Sunday. I just moved, so I had plenty of things that I should have been doing, but I couldn’t bear not knowing what happened next in the characters’ lives.
Let me say now, after having read Chapter 26, “Broken”, I wish that I wouldn’t have discovered the story until it was completed! I don’t think that I have ever read anything faster than the words of that chapter, devouring it in order to discover what happened next to poor Ryan. You skillfully sucked me into the story until I was emotionally invested in the characters, and it is terrible to now have to wait for the next chapter to see how Ryan reacts to the horrible molestation that he suffered!
I had to get hold of myself after I was finished with the chapter, because it caused a darkness in my heart and soul as I mourned Ryan’s mistreatment and betrayal. I had to mentally shake myself as I actually said aloud, “The characters are fictional, and the situation is not real, dammit, so snap out of it!”
I think that the obvious thought that occurs to any reader who empathizes with a character is a story is, “What would I do in (in this case) Ryan’s place? If he retreats from the world as much as possible, quits tennis, lets his grades at school go, broods in his room; he is bound to run into his abusive father. I don’t think that there would be any tolerance of that kind of behavior from his dad. How would his father respond if he learned of the hazing, especially the sexual aspects of it? Would he say, “Chin up and take it like a man!” or would he see the sexual assault of his son as a personal violation of himself? Since Ryan obviously is made of “strong stuff” due to his survival of his father’s abuse, maybe he will stuff his emotions inside and put on a brave face.
However, you did choose to name the chapter “Broken”, and I suspect that you didn’t use that title capriciously. You even described the moment at which Ryan went over the emotional precipice, and was broken.
I hope that you won’t let any of your tender-hearted readers (of which I am one) influence you to sugar-coat Ryan’s response so that he will be “all better” now. You’ve written a very compelling drama here, and I hope that you will portray the ugly consequences that result from the terrible things that Ryan has endured. I completely agree with other reviewers that Luke doesn’t deserve Ryan since he made no move to go get a teacher! He even allowed his own lust and curiosity at seeing Ryan masturbated to cause him to let the abuse continue! With friends like him, who needs enemies?
Thank you for sharing your talents, and for the emotional roller coaster ride! Please don’t be too long in continuing the story. It was really great reading it all in one go over an almost non-stop period of three days! I hope I can continue to read it while the characters and events are still fresh in my mind. Great work Riley! Really great!

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

Hello Ferd - and firstly, welcome to the story! Secondly, thanks for taking the time to write such an extensive review to give your perspective on what you see.

Mistreatment - and worse - betrayal. These really are ways to hurt people and I think we all felt the darkness of that, seeing it in a person that has enough to deal with in life without pouring on more fuel.

You have two really great questions. How is Ryan going to react to this and secondly, if it was me, how would I fare? I said in an earlier review that it frequently amazes me how much some people bear in life that, if I were in their shoes, would snap me in two like a twig! Yet everyone has a breaking point. Have we reached Ryan's? Is there a future for him and Luke? Some have questioned why I revealed that Ryan was gay a couple of chapters back. Why not leave that to the moment where we would hope Luke would find out that Ryan could be the love of his life and all would be sweet?

Other than on Nifty, life's not like that though, is it. And I told you that Ryan was gay, because, actually, that's not the story. So what is?

There really are going to be consequences to this. There have to be. Can there still be a friendship for Luke and Ryan? Only time will tell.

Thanks again for your review.

Riley
Rndmrunner%s's Photo

Dec 10 2012 03:51 PM

(Chapter 26 Review)

I am conflicted with this chapter. On one hand the violence tempered by the humiliation inflicted on Ryan makes me sick, however the fact that your writing conveys such strong feelings and responses is a credit to its power an impact. It is even more powerful given that it is a fairly long chapter that sustains the feelings and tension within a single prolonged scene. So even if I personally don't seek out or appreciate this amount of violence, I was moved by its force and its emotion. On a lighter note,time will tell if Luke was the one to call out that Benson was coming and has redeemed himself a little.

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

Was it Luke who called out that the Principal was there? We hope so, but…

Thanks for the way you've reviewed the chapter. My intention has always been to convey the force of emotion and the terrible pain of a victim. It was difficult, I know. Thanks for the review on it.

Riley
CW Prince%s's Photo

Dec 09 2012 08:21 PM

(Chapter 8 Review)

We now see that Luke and Elliot have had their first sighting of each other. That was an interesting tactic used there by Elliot. Smooth and not to obvious, lol....who are we kidding??...He intentionally and blatantly pulled his shirt up to be flirty and a tease to Luke. I am guessing that quite some time has passed for Elliot. I just don't see him being like that unless quite a bit of time has passed and he has learned to live with the pain of his loss.

ps... :( I must not be a very good 'gay boy' as I don't have an iPhone LOL ;)

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

Ah - you've found Elliott at last! Yes, it's a few years on since ISH, but where he fits in ET is yet to be told. A tease? You bet it had to be!

Riley
Lisa%s's Photo

Dec 09 2012 03:17 AM

(Chapter 26 Review)

That was just horrible. How can anyone of those kids think that that was ok? The spanking? Landon was really getting into it. The kids were all laughing. It was horrific that these kids are so immoral. They don't know right from wrong. Yeah, I can see a simple wedgie; I've been hearing about those for years, but this, this Hang, is appalling.

I ditto wildone: I would hope to God that Luke was grinning and laughing at Riley's distress. I hope it was just Riley's poor state of mind that thought he saw Luke grinning, but really didn't. But I gotta tell you Riley, I am extremely disappointed in Luke. I can see where he knew whatever he would have said to try to get those guys to stop the Hang would fly over deaf ears, but when Landon starting spanking Ryan, that should have been the point where Luke screamed at them to stop. Then he should have high-tailed it out of there and found a teacher. And the teachers; what the fuck is up with them? It seemed like those boys were in the bathroom for HOURS. Didn't any teachers roaming the halls HEAR ALL THE FRIGGEN NOISE IN THE BATHROOM???

And you know, I wouldn't blame Ryan if he never talked to Luke again. I know that it wasn't Luke's fault that these Neanderthals started the Hang, but he could have stopped it. He could have gotten someone from the staff, anonymously and the boys in the bathroom wouldn't know it was him who ratted them out. I am so disappointed in Luke. He did not step up to the plate. He was no best friend to Ryan. And Ryan took all this shit trying to fucking protect Luke! Gah, I'm so angry.

Anyway....I also noticed in other chapters, but in this chapter in particular, that you like to use the term 'safe hands' or 'in safe hands' a few times throughout the chapter. Just reminds me of poor, sweet Miguel......you torture me Riley. lol

It's three a.m. but I'm so distressed over this chaper I gotta read something funny. Damn you.lol

Please hurry up and update; I wanna make sure Ryan isn't going to retreat inside his head and shut everyone out. And agreeing with Rebel's review, I hope that Ryan doesn't suffer psychological damage. I can definitely see his spirit breaking; he has a horrible home life and school and his friends were the only things keeping him sane. Now all his friends are mocking him and he feels that he lost Luke as a best friend due to his "grinning" and inactions, so what else is there to live for?

Ok,I'm gonna shut up now. =)

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

Hi Lisa - hope you've calmed down a bit! Yep, it was truly horrible - made worse by the knowledge that this kind of stuff actually goes on in our schools.

Luke has messed up so bad here and rightly feels complicit in what was done to Ryan. Will Ryan ever speak to him again? I don't think I would! Maybe they are totally stuffed now? Worse, you wonder if Ryan will even get over it.

In Safe Hands? Trust me on this - the words are not accidental!

Riley
Remijay%s's Photo

Dec 08 2012 02:12 PM

(Chapter 26 Review)

i remember this chapter. i know it wasnt easy to write. Let alone read after it was finished. But some things have to be written. It fiils in the story with more depth... Now, if i was put into the situation like that, i wouldnt allow myself to become hard. I'm glad that i have controll over something like that :) Anyway, what happened to Ry is what happens when you take a fall for a friend. You never know the outcome until its finished. I also remember the next chapter. :) Great chapter btw, Remijay

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

Yep - it's true - you can never know what tomorrow will bring! Whether it will be enough is hard to tell. Thanks for the review.

Riley
Gandalf%s's Photo

Dec 08 2012 05:49 AM

(Chapter 26 Review)

I forgot how close to the edge(over the edge) this went. As others have noted your skill at dragging Ryan and us to this point will move us as well as Luke and Ryan on. I hope the subsequent chapters are posted soon so we and Ryan are not long kept in this horrid place. Thanks for all your work. Pax.

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

Thanks for this review and also for the entry in the discussion thread. Things have gone so badly wrong here, and you have to wonder if there is any way back for a friendship between Ryan and Luke?

Riley
wecs%s's Photo

Dec 08 2012 12:23 AM

(Chapter 26 Review)

Don't understand where that came from -- seem like gratuitous violence and out of context for this story -- just to "sex" up and otherwise sturdy story.

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

To be honest wecs, I don't think there was anything remotely sexy about what just happened.

Nor did it just come out of nowhere, I'm afraid. Stuff like this goes on in our schools - particularly boys only schools like the Academy. I don't doubt it was violent; the contrast between this and the last chapter is marked. One sounds fun and a bit of a laugh, the second is the agony of the victim. And I think we all felt it deeply because of how much we've invested into the characters over the last chapters.

In it all, thanks for being willing to give a review to say what you think.

Riley
wildone%s's Photo

Dec 07 2012 11:04 PM

(Chapter 26 Review)

Wow, that was painful to read even though I wasn't there :(

I do have to admit that I didn't really understand what the 'hanging' was with all the explanation from the last chapter. Now, sadly, I do understand and wish I didn't. The fact that Ryan really has so much against him in life with his parents, his hidden sexuality and now to be exposed as ridiculed as not being 'adequate' (high school term, not mine), this may have been the straw to break the camels back.

I feel Luke was the one that yelled about the principle. I hope that Ryan in his distress looking to see Luke smiling was just that a delusion.

Yes what the other students did was illegal and criminal, the scary thing is until recently things like this went on (and sadly still do) in fraternity froshing and I'm sure some schools have the same initiating freshmen in High School.

Am I mad at you Riley...No. As an author you have pushed your characters and your audience to a dangerous precipice, now we will see what happens to ease everyone down gently. I am confident that you will do this for all of us :hug: .

People would argue it should be toned down but I need to see the chapter in the entire context of the story before I make any such judgement.

Thanks for the chapter Riley :hug: ....... I think ;)

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

The truth is, anyone can break, Mike. Yet what constantly amazes me is how much some people bear in life that, if it were me, would snap me in two like a twig! Does stuff like this still go on? Of course it does - and I think that, because nastiness, though it mode stay hidden, doesn't go out of fashion! Luke's complicity is a mess and who called out that the principal was there is unknown just now.

Well - you're right - things are teetering on the edge of a long fall. Is it really possible to get through it? Only time will tell - but thanks for being willing to wait and see what the next chapters bring.

Riley
Rebelghost85%s's Photo

Dec 07 2012 10:05 PM

(Chapter 26 Review)

I have to admit that I only scanned these last two chapters. It was just too brutal for me to read in detail.

This incident is the stuff of lifelong psychological complications and definitely took this story down a dark path. Ryan was sexually harassed and almost raped by bullies. I know that they won't go to anyone higher up but even reading about a fictional event like this had me at a rage. Thank god a bystander screamed that the principal was coming. It broke the mob mentality and reminded them that what just happened was too far.

I want Landon to suffer. I could see someone actually killing the bullies and a lot of innocent bystanders because of the hang. Please don't let it come to that.

Finally, I will definitely continue to read your updates but if this is a tragedy then let us know. I don't read tragedies.

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

I agree, it was awful. Worse with the knowledge that these kinds of things actually have happened in our schools. You're right to be in a rage about it Rebelghost! Somebody shouted out, but who that was isn't clear yet.

The story is a long way from being over, and there's good and bad still to come. It's all I can tell you.

Riley
peethree%s's Photo

Dec 07 2012 06:45 PM

(Chapter 26 Review)

That was so hard to read and almost like the wreck on the side of the road you can't look away from. I hope Luke can help Ryan get his self confidence back. Poor Ryan having to deal with this humiliation on top of a painful homelife. Reading this was painful.

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

Thanks for the picture - the wreck on the side of the road that you can't look away from. Apt! I don't really think Ryan wants to talk to Luke just now. Would you?

Riley
Mike00%s's Photo

Dec 07 2012 05:43 PM

(Chapter 26 Review)

That was painful to read. If I had my way, every one of those little twats would be rounded up and publicly tormented and humiliated ten times worse than what Ryan just had to endure.
There's schoolboy pranks, and then there's ganging up and bullying someone who's defenseless. I don't see much difference in what they did, and molestation, and in a way, it was. Molested and humiliated for their sick pleasure. And Luke *grinning*? I expected better from him.
He doesn't deserve Ryan. :(

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

It's so hard, when you feel you know somebody, and they go and let you down. I agree about Luke - he's really messed up...and that's almost worse than the nasty stuff from those you expect it from!

Now we have to see if there is any way back...

Thanks for sticking with it Mike

Riley.
Carrie76%s's Photo

Dec 07 2012 02:29 PM

(Chapter 26 Review)

RILEY! Grr. Poor Ryan. Luke will help him pick up the pieces if Ryan will let him. I just hope Ryan lets him. That was a hard chapter to read but true, you didn't promise it would be easy. I don't think a story would be good if it was all sunshine and roses. I am still mad at you though. Posted Image Post the next chapter so I can get unmad at you. Posted Image ( p.s. It was still awesome and you are still wonderful.)

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

You wouldn't be human not to be mad, Carrie. You're right, it was a hard chapter. Bullying in any form gets me steamed. People can really get hurt. The question is, will Ryan come through this ? I guess we wait and see...

As always, thanks for the faithful reviews!
Riley
Gandalf%s's Photo

Dec 03 2012 07:40 PM

(Chapter 25 Review)

Riley if memory serves you have expanded this section and made it clear that this is a tradition at the school and perhaps a bit more understandable as such. I would hate to be hung but you have made both the tradition and the terror very real. I continue to love your writing and am glad to see you moving along with the story. Thanks as always for your work. Pax

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

Hi there - long time, no hear! Thanks for checking in, it's always great to get a note from you.

That was my thought exactly when it came to setting up a 'tradition'. It seems a clearer context. I have to confess that I'm still nervous about losing readers over it though though. Time will tell.

Riley
Lisa%s's Photo

Dec 03 2012 11:11 AM

(Chapter 25 Review)

Those kids are ruthless! Omg, how mortifying! Poor Ryan. This whole thing started when he was protecting Luke from being found out with his SmartKlamp, right? I sure hope Ryan doesn't blame Luke. I hope he's not angry with him.I do think that Luke should have made more of an effort to stop this. Even though he couldn't stop it, he should have tried, b/c at least then Ryan would know that Luke was on his side. You know what I mean?

I hope Ryan isn't so embarrassed that he's going to avoid Luke now. I mean how humiliating is it to know the boy you're crushing on, who happens to be your best friend, is watching you?

Ah, I'm on pins and needles Riley! Great job! :)

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

Well, I think we can be sure that Ryan has just been dropped in it! Poor kid indeed - and you have to feel for him more knowing that, as you say, he got there because of wanting to give Luke a get-out clause!

There's going to be lots of regrets after this - not the least from Luke who, as you note, is being a a pig by sitting on the sidelines and letting it happen.

Thanks for the review,
Riley
Rndmrunner%s's Photo

Dec 02 2012 10:02 PM

(Chapter 25 Review)

Just dragging out the agony, for Ryan, Luke and your readers. Can't wait to see where this goes. This story could have been trite and it is so very good. thanks

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

I hope you can be sure of one thing Roadrunner - the story won't go where you expect! Thanks for the kind words and review!

Riley
Mike00%s's Photo

Dec 02 2012 12:06 PM

(Chapter 25 Review)

Poor Ryan. :(
Those kids are brutal! Lol. There's no way I'd be forced to 'spill my seed' in front of a crowd of hooligans. Lol
When 'hanging' wedgie was first mentioned, it made me think of someone who's hanging on a hook or something from the back of their underwear. The 'hanging wedgie' in this one is ten times worse, hehehe.
Thanks Riley. :)
Oh, btw. I see there's a LondonLolly FB page on Facebook...Any relation? :P

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

LondonLolly? Of course - that's Luke!

The Hang is pretty brutal. The truth is, schools are not always places of safety for kids, despite what the authorities believe and what parents hope!

Thanks for the review Mike.
Riley
CW Prince%s's Photo

Nov 28 2012 09:52 PM

(Chapter 6 Review)

Still loving the story although I must admit. I don't see the big deal that Luke is making over all this circumcision thing. Maybe its just me. I do tend to be a live and let live kinda of guy though. Each to their own! I also think Luke and Ryan would make a rather cute couple :)

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

Luke is definitely getting into a knot about circumcision. I think his problem is that it's becoming unhelpful lay intertwined with his feelings of attraction for guys - and Ryan in particular. At the same time, he has a point - when you've been dragged away from 'home' the last thing you want is to keep feeling left out.

We'll have to see about him and Ryan

Thanks for the review
CW Prince%s's Photo

Nov 28 2012 07:44 PM

(Chapter 4 Review)

A rather interesting thought. Could both brothers be gay? That would certainly put a twist to the family. Again I'm loving the closeness of the brothers in this story. The respect and confidence they have in each other. Maybe Luke should confide in Simon his possible feelings for his best friend. Maybe that is for another day. We'll see.

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

Who knows about what route either brother will take. Gay or not, it's quite a journey! I don't think Luke is anywhere near opening up about what HE thinks yet, though. Glad to see your review.

Riley
Rano%s's Photo

Nov 28 2012 05:17 PM

(Chapter 2 Review)

Three years since the Summers family has emigrated - so Luke must be 15 years old. 'K, just had to get my bearing ;)
I appreciate the background info, i.e. contrasting Brittain with the US, bringing us to "the world of the circumcised dick":
Had to laugh about the description of the clipped willy's in the school showers, and I must add that in my country it is - or maybe nowadays was - just the other way around when we were younger. It used to be the clipped ones that were the odd ones out Posted Image Talk about cultural differences heh
Lucy to Geoff, "Luke seems to think he needs to be circumcised" (my italics). Yikes! From what I've gathered so far is that poor Luke is the one in dire need to be circumcised, and maybe Luke's dad should not have repeated his gramp's quip of "If it's not bust, don't fix it!" I find it slightly difficult to accept that Luke's folks - or at least his dad - didn't try to do a physical fatherly check-up. Really...
And if I may add, clipping is definitely not the one and only argument for "health and wholesomeness" downstairs. Proper parental instruction/education for young ones will allow them to remain not only intact but healthy and clean as well. 'K, I guess I've belaboured this specific point by now :P Anyways, so far I really enjoy this story tremendously - just a bit of soliloquy-ing going on in my skull-congregation whilst enjoying this read Posted Image
Ta stax for sharing with us, Riley Posted Image

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

Hi again Rano. Yep, Luke is definitely getting fascinated with the uncovered
glans! Like in your country, he would hardly ever see one in the UK. His Dad is probably right, but there more at stake for Luke here than is at first apparent. Again, you have to relies they are Brits. Some things you just don't talk about!

Thanks for the review,
Riley
CW Prince%s's Photo

Nov 28 2012 12:48 AM

(Chapter 3 Review)

Interesting story so far. Quite a unique subject being discussed as well. I'm loving the closeness of the brothers and no I'm not speaking of the bedroom scene between them. I'm speaking of the closeness they have with talking and being able to share. The mom seems a bit high strung but rather nicely balanced by the dad's laid back attitude. I think this will be an interesting ride reading this story. One I will thoroughly enjoy. Looking forward to the next chapters.

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

Hi there! I think you're right about their mum - needs to make sure everything is right for her kids! Glad yo've started the read and I'm looking forward to hearing your take on the chapters.

Thanks for reviewing.
Riley
purpleweeniepill%s's Photo

Nov 26 2012 01:54 PM

(Chapter 24 Review)

Ouch, poor Ryan, I can't wait to see how this turns out. Keep the awesome chapters coming!!! :D

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

Yep - big ouch! I certainly wouldn't like to be Ry just now! Thanks for the review!
Rano%s's Photo

Nov 26 2012 11:21 AM

(Chapter 1 Review)

Seems to me I'm lagging behind the crowd, but here I am to offer my off-beat (?) opinion of this very interesting prologue. I must admit that it would have taken me much longer to open this story-file if it was not that I've enjoyed Riley's In Safe Hands just recently...
Firstly let me state that in this very first installment there is quite a clear object lesson for any male who has not been circumcised Posted Image
It's amazing how often one hear of menfolk who are in need of surgery just because they have not been taught by their parents to retract their foreskins and clean appropriately when the have a bath or shower - if this simple routine has been instilled from childhood, how could there ever be occasion for such drastic measures of wiggling some cold chrome instruments under the cav of the patient? It's rather beyond me that Luke did not know that 'under ther' actually existed! Really - and this is not meant judgmentally at all. So much more reason for a socalled enlightened age to arrive properly where there ain't no bashfulness or false modesty not to want to tallk aobut these essential personal hgiene "tricks" that needs to be administered on a daily basis. And, yes, hoping against hope that all "untouched" gaylings reading this story will take note. Who ever would have thought that GA could be the ideal primer in many respects for many dirrerent kind of readers Posted Image
In closing, I really appreciated that bit about nothing on but his t-shirt and socks! Me thinx its rather sexy Posted Image
Ta stax, Riley, for - what I can allready feel in my bones - is going to be another great story Posted Image

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

Hi there Rano - and welcome to ET!
There's certainly some things that will come out in regards to circumcision, though the story is much much more than that. Should Luke have known about retracting foreskins? Possibly not if his very British patents didn't think to have it checked. One of the strings to the tale is the differences in cultures - even between countries that - nearly - speak the same language?

Thanks for reviewing - and hope you keep at it!
Riley
Lisa%s's Photo

Nov 25 2012 07:48 PM

(Chapter 24 Review)

Man, Luke better think of something to get, (or give, lol), Ryan; Luke owes Ryan big time for this! He sacrificed his own red undies to save Luke from being injured himself. I hope Luke realizes this. But what the hell does "HANG HIM!" mean? Now I'm really worried for Ryan!

I really love Mel! I thought it was great that she bonded, (ha, watching Bond, hehe, sorry, couldn't resist), so well with Luke. Luke liked her so much he couldn't be jealous. Glad though that Ryan cleared up the whole 'not dating Mel thing' for Luke.

One thing that bothered me though was when Luke and Ryan first got in the bathroom.Luke told Ryan that he had called him the day before and Ryan acted like he didn't know that and shrugged. Well, you would think if someone is crushing on someone else, and that someone else called, you would think this person would call the other person back asap. Why did he act so nonchalant about it? Even if he didn't know, (no caller ID, or whatever), why didn't he act more sorry? I don't know; it just seemed like Ryan didn't care.

Also loved the Jacko reference! I didn't realize it ALSO had to do with the Jackson Five! lol I'm slow that way. =)

Something else I'm really curious about Riley. I know that it's been a few years, (I forgot how many; at least four or five, right?), since Luke's family moved the the states. I was just wondering why he hasn't taken up any like American terms. Such as: loo for bathroom, queuing for waiting in line, note for money, can't think of any others off the top of my head,oh, revision for studying, but that wasn't in this chapter. Anyway, I know when I went to school in Boston, I was talking like a true Bostonian even years after I came back home. So I guess I'm wondering why Luke is speaking more like an American after being here for that long. Just curious....

Anyway, can't wait to find out what's gonna happen to Ryan! :) It better be nothing bad.....

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

Indeed - what does HANG HIM mean, Lisa.

No real Jackson Five I'm afraid - just a writers tease!
With Ryan, you have to remember that he's totally paranoid at being labelled for what he is. Perhaps if he discovered the call late in the day - particularly if alike had said what it was about - he might have decided to leave it be.

Finally - why does Luke speak so many English-isms? That's a good question. Firstly, there's the saying 'you can take the guy off the island, but not the island out of the guy!' Secondly - am more important - you're making an assumption as to where Luke is living when he writes his notes. The actual events happened a good ten years ago. Don't assume Luke still lives in Atlanta, or has done for some time!

Thanks for the great questions.
Riley
Hector Q Sanchez%s's Photo

Nov 25 2012 12:10 AM

(Chapter 24 Review)

Ryan showing his love for Luke by getting wedgied, but will Luke escape the same peril? Can't wait until the next chapter to find out.
OK! So I just finished reading the last four chapters at once and a lot has transpired.
Simon and Tobey finally 'find' each other and consumate their love.
Toby tells Simon that his mother already knows about him and she's fine with it but Simon won't allow Toby to tell her about Simon. I kinda wish that Toby would have talked Simon into allowing him (Toby) to tell his (Tobys) mother about them being together. It would have allowed Simon to be a little freer while at the Skerrits house.
We learn a little more about Ryans abusive father, and the rest of his home life.
I take umbrage at how you seemed to paint the Alexis family as being 'All American' what with Captain Alexis being all controling, brash and manipulative. That is not the embodiment of the 'All American' family because you find people like Capt' Alexis in all cultures.
On to Ryan being gay. I was hoping this was the case and I hope that he and Luke "find each other".
Mel is a pretty awesome big sister to Ryan. So nice he needs someone to talk to.
Um can't wait to see Lukes klamp get removed. You did such an awedome job detailing his circumcision that I felt like it was me getting one, and I'm already circumcised.
Nuff said.
Still like the story and the author even if he ticks me off every once in awhile.

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

Hi Hector - apologies for ticking you off! On the other hand, not all cultures ARE the same. For example, many Asian cultures are built around the concept of shame and a need to show respect. I don't think we would expect to keep our heads lower than our boss/leaders in the west! In the states, anyone can become president if they have enough personal power and drive, whereas tribal cultures in many parts of Africa would think that concept totally ridiculous! Leaders are not made that way.

Anyway - Simon and Toby have figured a few things out, but there are still some unknowns there. Mel's really great, isn't she - like you say, and awesome big sis!

Just the Klamp to go then? But you know it won't be as easy as that!

Thanks for the really good review!
Riley
Mike00%s's Photo

Nov 24 2012 02:10 PM

(Chapter 24 Review)

I agree, the 'wedgie war' scene was awesome! Lol.
I'm so happy for Toby and Si, though I won't count my chickens quite yet. As often the case in romance, things can change, and suddenly, especially young love. Still, I'm really happy for them both.
The day is almost upon Luke, a moment he's been waiting years for. I hope he's happy with the results.
I also loved the exchange between Luke and Mel. I found it pretty amusing.
Also worth noting is Ryan willingly sacrificing himself to the wedgie for Luke's benefit. I only hope that Luke realized it.
The more I read about Ryan, the more I'm liking him. He's a good guy and a great friend to Luke.

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

You're spot on there, Mike. Life can throw a curve ball pretty quickly. Luke has one more day left, but Ryan has picked up a wedgie. Will it turn out to be a sacrifice he was happy to make?

Thanks for the great review.
Riley
Carrie76%s's Photo

Nov 24 2012 12:02 PM

(Chapter 24 Review)

I love this story. The wedgie battle killed me. That was just too damn funny. It seemed like Ryan took one for the team there because Luke is still all Klampified. What a good friend. I liked the tone of this chapter too. It moved the story forward very nicely and it was like a peek into every day life. Good job on that. I sure can't wait to see what happens next.
Simon and Toby are just the cutest little guys too. The funniest part is for being the youngest little imps, they seem to have figured out what they want and how to get it. Awesome.

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

Hi Carrie - well what comes next might not be what you or Ryan expect and whether taking one for the team turned out to be a good idea. Simon and Toby are still quite early in a relationship, so you're right, they have a lot of figuring to do.

Thanks for reviewing.

Riley
PS Klampified? Nice!
Rebelghost85%s's Photo

Nov 24 2012 12:01 PM

(Chapter 24 Review)

Things aren't looking good. Wedgies can be cruel and physically dangerous. I hope nothing too terrible happens to Ryan.

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

Wedgies can be a nightmare...but that's the least of Ryan's problems! I agree, Wedgies can be cruel. Often what is behind them can be worse.
Remijay%s's Photo

Nov 24 2012 11:47 AM

(Chapter 24 Review)

I remember this chapter, along with the chapter that follows... I do indeed agree with NInecila, poor Ryan =\ But all is well after awhile... Very good at detail, i see you still have it. I love reading this story it's entertaining and funny at times.
Keep'em coming.
Remijay

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

Thanks Remijay. Yep, we all feel for Ryan! Things are not looking so good for him! Appreciate the review.
Riley
ninecila%s's Photo

Nov 24 2012 06:47 AM

(Chapter 24 Review)

Oh boy, poor Ryan!
But I wouldhave thought Lukes appointment to get the clamp Remonde would have been on monday.

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

Poor Ryan indeed! Nope - it was in an earlier chapter after the operation, the doc had to make it Tuesday as he had no slots on the Monday.
Lisa%s's Photo

Nov 22 2012 12:23 PM

(Chapter 23 Review)

Oh Riley Riley! What a fantastic chapter! Although I am really saddened by Ryan's home life. I feel so bad for him.

And my mouth dropped open when I read that Ryan prefers guys! Holy shit! And Mel, (who I already adore), likes girls! AND SHE'S DATING DR. T'S DAUGHTER!!!!!! Double holy shit!

I have a feeling that Luke is gonna think that Ryan and Mel are together. I hope it doesn't turn out that it's gonna break Luke's heart. Mel has to figure out a way to hint to Luke about Ryan. I don't want Luke thinking that Ryan and Mel are together and then is going to be so depressed and it'll totally ruin the evening.

Now to the beginning of the chapter: I so love Toby's mom! She's a pisser! "Are you decent?" So she's expecting Toby to be naked all night with Simon? lol "And maybe you can open the windows!" Omg, she is funny! :) Subtle, huh?

Another awesome chapter Riley! I'm really looking forward to their night out! :2thumbs:

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

Always great to hear from you Lisa! You're right, Ryan seems to have trouble piled all over him one way or another. Let's hope he holds up. Mel and Ella - yep that was quite a surprise. It'll be interesting to see what that means for Luke.

Glad you like Toby's mom - and surely you must know how important it is to open the windows! However, she has no idea that Simon and her son are in a relationship…yet!

Thanks for reading and reviewing!
Riley
Low Flyer%s's Photo

Nov 22 2012 06:30 AM

(Chapter 23 Review)

OK, some of the obstacles are out of the way. Toby and Simon are together and Ryan is just as much in love with Luke as Luke is with Ryan. I'm relying on Mel to make one or other (or both) of them see sense at the cinema this evening.

Thanks for another great chapter.

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

Yep, Simon and Toby are together. We'll have to see where that goes. Will Mel get them together at the cinema? Mmmm - who knows. She really wants to meet Luke, though I'm not sure she would drop Ryan in it.

Glad you enjoyed this one!
Riley
wildone%s's Photo

Nov 20 2012 12:04 AM

(Chapter 23 Review)

If you could only see the smile on my face when Ryan said that Mel was the only person other than himself that knew he liked guys :D

Wow, in the past 3 chapters we've had Simon finding out that Toby is gay, like him and getting to fool around. Then we had the whole Ryan and Luke in Luke's bedroom scene with Luke boning up. Now we find out that the love of Luke's life, Ryan is gay too. I just so hope that Luke and Ryan figure each others out sooner than later :) Hopefully Mel can help out with that. I guess the only thing that could make that happen for sure is if Mel shows up with her girlfriend to the movies and Luke is shall we say...taken aback when he realizes that Ryan knows the person who painted his dick for him :P

Great chapter Riley! Thanks for posting :)

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

Hi Steve! You're right, things have really moved along fast. Ryan is gay, but is that the end of the story? I don't think so. Will Mel say anything at the movies that makes a connection for Luke? Well, we'll have to see, but I don't think she'd let down Ryan. She's not like that. Next chapter coming out soon!

Thanks for the review!
Riley
purpleweeniepill%s's Photo

Nov 19 2012 05:31 PM

(Chapter 23 Review)

I am thoroughly addicted to the story; I am literally shaking with suspense because I so badly want to find out what happens next. This chapter and all the previous ones have been excellent, and I recommend this story to anyone and everyone who comes across this, you won't be disappointed.

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

Purple - it's always really great to hear from a new reader; even more so that you're enjoying it so much. Don't shake too much because the next chapter is coming shortly. Keep reading - and I'd love it if you joined those who kept reviewing. All of you really help me!

Thanks for the review and all the recommendations!

Riley
Rebelghost85%s's Photo

Nov 19 2012 12:20 PM

(Chapter 23 Review)

I was worried about some of the foreshadowing earlier and I'm glad the we've gotten that out of the way. Now the hard part is going to be seeing Ryan deal with the homophobia of his father.

A quick question: is this pre or post DODT? It might make things easier for Ryan if it were post.

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

Hi there again. Thanks for the review, though not sure what DODT is. Message me! What will the foreshadowing mean…I'm leaving you guessing at that.

Riley
Carrie76%s's Photo

Nov 19 2012 09:52 AM

(Chapter 23 Review)

:::Kermit arm flail::: Yay! Ryan is gay! Good for Luke. I was sad to find out about his home life being perfect but it will all work out. This chapter was really funny with the addition of Mel and the whole Gizzy watching thing. Man, cats sit on the floor and lick their own behinds but then they judge what humans do for fun. I just don't get it. It just totally cracked me up though. This chapter was a turning point chapter though, it was one that lets you peep around the bend. I just hope there is something good coming for the boys. Simon and Toby are really going to have a lot to deal with in the future. I think Luke will help them too. This chapter was fun and I can't wait for the next.
Oh and the whole Hitchhiker parts? Floored me. I have more than one yelled Don't Panic at a meeting at work and I am also very likely to yell out So long, and thanks for all the fish! As well.

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

Hello Carrie - now you've got over your Kermit flailing, it's great to hear from another HitchHikers fan! As you say, we get to peep around the corner a bit. Simon and Toby have lots of things to work out, and Ryan is gay. But, as you might guess, there is probably a lot more to the tale than discovering that. Remember, whatever happens, 'DON'T PANIC!'

Riley
Mike00%s's Photo

Nov 19 2012 04:23 AM

(Chapter 23 Review)

Oh my... I LOVED this chapter.
There's so much to say I'll probably forget some of it.
First of all, this one was huge! A pleasant surprise and kept me busy for a good half hour.
Oh and, omigod! Ryan's gay?!? Yes! That's awesome news for Luke then. :)
The attention to detail in this one I think is unmatched by any previous chapter. I really enjoyed the glimpse into Ryan's home life. And still he continues to amaze me, despite having lots to complain about, or feel down about, he's so positive in his outlook on things. How he deals with an overbearing father figure, a distant alcoholic dependent mother, being an only child, hiding his true sexuality from almost everyone, and coming up fairly 'short changed' in the trouser department. And having a huge crush on his 'straight' best friend, Luke. (His perspective) it's like he still manages to see the bright side of things.
Oh and of course then there's Ella and Mel! I remember that Luke mentioned in his notes that Ella would be a person to reappear in his life again at a later time, but I never would have guessed like this, lol.
I think that's it. Except just to thanks, Riley. I loved the chapter!
Mike

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

Hi Mike - it took you half and hour to read? I bet you read it twice! Yep - Ryan likes guys and this was definitely the chapter where we find out more about him. You're right in saying he has a lot to deal with in life - anyone of which teens of his age would find a struggle. He seems to cope with it all well on the outside.

Ella and Mel - well there's a surprise. YOu have to wonder where that will lead!

Thanks for the review!

Riley
Low Flyer%s's Photo

Nov 16 2012 03:32 AM

(Chapter 22 Review)

We came so close to the double there. If only Luke could find in Ryan what Simon's found in Toby. Well, there's time yet and who's to say that Ryan isn't as nervous as Luke. Until you've done it a few times and have a solid set of friends to support you, it can be a daunting prospect.
Looking forward to the next instalment - thanks again.

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

Of course, we have no idea about Ryan at all. He could be a red herring! Good thought about needing good friends behind you. I'll drink to that!

Thanks for the review.
Riley
Lisa%s's Photo

Nov 14 2012 08:09 PM

(Chapter 22 Review)

Man that Ryan's a pisser! lol He had me cracking up with his cracks about styles and trimmed pubes.

I also have a feeling that he pretty much diffused the situation when Luke mentioned what he mentioned. By gently putting his hand on Luke's shoulder it told Luke not to worry, it's all cool. At least that's what I got out of it.

I was surprised at Stacey's dad calling to apologize. He seems to be a stand-up guy.

I'm looking forward to the next chapter; I'm curious to see if Simon comes clean to Luke about what happened at Toby's.

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

The Crop 'n Cut? Yep, Ry does have a wicked humour! What the whole thing with the shoulder was is a mystery though. Ryan remains a dark horse.

Ya really think Simon can keep quiet? I doubt it!

Thanks,
Riley
wildone%s's Photo

Nov 13 2012 09:58 PM

(Chapter 22 Review)

Great chapter Riley Posted Image

You are a bit of a tease here, you know ;) That exchange in his bedroom of the gawp was....interesting. The thing is, we still don't know if Ryan does have feelings for Luke or not.

I imagine why Simon is so excited to be home, lets hope he doesn't burst into the room and blurts out what he did with Ryan still in there.

I also think Luke is now on the radar of his mother. She did talk to Stacey's dad and obviously he mentioned that Luke had said his parents didn't want him dating till he was 16. Caught in a lie, me thinks 0:)

Looking forward to the next chapter, thanks again :)

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

Now that WOULD be if Simon let the cat out of the bag like that. Ouch, things could get tense! Is Luke on Lucy's radar....mmmm not thought about that. It's possible isn't it. What do you think she would make of that?

Answers on a postcard!

Thanks for the review Steve
Mike00%s's Photo

Nov 13 2012 05:25 PM

(Chapter 22 Review)

I think this is my favorite one of the chapters to date. I really like Ryan. He's a funny guy too. And is good for Luke to have someone to confide in about his procedure among other things.
Stacy's dad calling was a bit of a surprise. Something tells me we haven't heard the end of that little situation quite yet either.
Thanks Riley, brilliant as usual! :)

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

Hi Mike. Glad you enjoyed reading this one. Ray's quite something, I agree. - some hidden depths there. Stacey's dad WAS a surprise. We'll have to see where that leads!

Thanks for the note.
Carrie76%s's Photo

Nov 13 2012 04:00 PM

(Chapter 22 Review)

Oh my stars. I thought Luke was going to come clean on in that one. I think Ryan wants Luke too. I am curious to see if its true. I noticed this post took a little longer than the others. I hope you are ok on your end. I truly enjoy your work and I hope you are living happy as well.
Thanks,
Carrie

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

Hi Carrie. It's hard to know what Ryan think of Luke. If there is something there, it's well hidden. Yep all is good this end. Like all of us, busy!

Thanks for the review
Riley
Low Flyer%s's Photo

Nov 06 2012 03:13 PM

(Chapter 11 Review)

I guess it's a lot easier to come out when you're a bit older. Everything looks so much bigger from inside than it really is. At least, that's been my experience.
I gather that total trims are OK even amongst straight guys at school. There's nothing like the feel of freshly shaved balls though. And a neat trim up top looks much better.

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

Hi Low Flyer. I think a good trim is a must. One reviewer - a lade - thought that men need to keep it under control too....manscaping, she called it!

Thanks for reading.
Riley
Mike00%s's Photo

Nov 06 2012 01:52 AM

(Chapter 21 Review)

"It was so unfair, Lucy mused. Sadly it just wasn’t quite right in the current climate for any proper parent to question their son as to why he felt he was in need of a new dongle – especially when the poor lad had just been circumcised!"

Hehehe... Did Lucy assume Luke meant a 'new penis' or something when he mentioned 'buying a new dongle'? I know you said before, that she was not familiar with PCs and that would include 'tech speak' too I would assume.
I loved the chapter. And loved catching up with Luke again. Poor guy, the dream was pretty intense (and hot). I hope everything's still ok 'under the hood' with him humping in his sleep with the device still on.
Toby and Si' make such a cute couple, too.. :)
Thanks, Riley!

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

That's right, Lucy not that computer savvy, but it was Luke that indicated in the conversation that the 'dongle' in question was an apple usb stick. I think she would get that as both her hubby and son are mac freaks.

Thanks for the review.

Riley
Lisa%s's Photo

Nov 05 2012 07:01 PM

(Chapter 21 Review)

Holy crap! I too saw chapter twenty-one posted and started reading it when I realized this isn't where we left off. So I went to chapter twenty and realized I didn't read this one and thought I missed the recent story update column and the notice on the home page. I thought b/c I was out of power for awhile I missed the seeing the update. Oh, and I remember last Monday I read that you were updating again on Wednesday and I even checked my phone from Wednesday on, looking for it. But my phone would cut out all the time b/c the cell towers were down or screwed up or something.

Anyway...so this is a review on the last two chapters. Toby, Toby, Toby! I was pleasantly surprised at his revelation! =) I want to be happy for Si and I don't want him to get hurt, so I hope Toby doesn't disappoint him. And what did Toby mean when he said he messed around with another boy "a long time ago." "A long time ago"? Isn't he like fourteen or fifteen? They're freshman, right? And Luke's a sophomore? Unless I got it all wrong. Anyway, so when did Toby mess around with this boy, when he was ten? lol

And what the heck is a dongle????? Wait, I'll Google it. lol

Terrific two chaptes Riley! :2thumbs: I'm looking forward to reading about Luke and Ryan's day and also the rest of Simon and Toby's day. :)

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

Trust you're powered up again Lisa. Sorry about the mess up in the notifications - I stuffed up with the way it was published. There's more about Toby's history on the way - and yes, I think he may well have been about that age. There's a thread in the Forum in the Gay Teens section relating to when they began to get a handle on their sexuality. Many indicate it was around 10-11.

Thanks for hanging with he story!

Riley
Rndmrunner%s's Photo

Nov 04 2012 08:01 AM

(Chapter 21 Review)

Now you are just showing off, it is not enough to develop one major story line with wit depth and aplomb, you have rocketed Simon story line to the same level and everything is holding together beautifully. I am not sure whether to be jealous or just inane. Great story

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

Holy cow - I'm sure I don't deserve the praise, but thanks anyway. Glad you're enjoying the read!
Riley
Remijay%s's Photo

Nov 03 2012 11:15 AM

(Chapter 21 Review)

I loved the last chapter and this chapter... I already know what happens so i wont spoil it for anyone else... Just know you're a truly talented writer. :) Keep up the good work...

Remijay <3

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

Thanks my friend!
Carrie76%s's Photo

Nov 02 2012 12:05 PM

(Chapter 20 Review)

Oh noes! I had to go chase this story down. I am so glad I did. Holy fricken crap! Who the hell knew that a simple touch of the hand could be so hot. I have read a lot of your work and I believe that may possibly be my favorite scene you have written. I love the way this story is going. I still think these two are little devils. Cute as buttons but trouble waiting to happen.
I love the little guys but I am curious to know how our buddy Luke is doing. ( once had a friend name Luke, we called him Lukifer, like Lucifer, because he was once an angel too. Not so much anymore. hehe) Anywho. Please do write more. Posted Image

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

Our own Lucifer is not far away. Keep an eye out! Thanks for the review.
Mike00%s's Photo

Oct 31 2012 11:23 PM

(Chapter 20 Review)

Aww, this was a GREAT chapter!

First of all though, the 'alert' to a new chapter didn't show up and I assume it hasnt for the others either, maybe that's why there's no reviews yet when there usually are by now.

At first I was like "Another Toby and Simon chapter?" and while I enjoy them and realise they're also important to the story, I'm real eager to find out what's going on in Luke's world too. Especially for him to take that contraption off and discover his newly modified piece of equiptment, heheh.
But this really was a big moment between Simon and Toby, and so sweet and cute the way it played out.
Although something tells me, between Toby's weird reaction and the author's note at the end, that not all is as perfect as it seems in their world.
Thanks, Riley. Loving it! :)

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

Hi Mike - yep, something went wrong with the publishing. I tried to be clever and use the 'publish on a future date' function and stuffed up!

Anyway, thanks for the review. It was a big moment for S & T. We'll gave to see what happens with them...there are certainly some issues.
Hector Q Sanchez%s's Photo

Oct 28 2012 05:02 PM

(Chapter 19 Review)

Great story and great chapter, but I just can't help but think that you gave Toby a cat just to put in this line(Delicately, he removed the boxers from his friend’s pussy and laid them over his wash bag.). Posted Image

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

Hehe - glad you spotted the line! What a joy words can be!! Great to hear from you Hector, and thanks for the review.

Riley
Lisa%s's Photo

Oct 27 2012 05:46 PM

(Chapter 19 Review)

Well, Simon and Toby sure are lucky their storm was so minor. Lucky they didn't get stuck in Hurricane Sandy....and Wednesday's posting I most probably won't be able to read b/c I'm assuming I will be w/o power for at least a week.

Anyway, back to the story. Simon is so cute. I loved reading about his thoughts and his predicament regarding Toby. I also lke the fact that you had this take place the same time as Luke's party, so we don't really miss anything from anybody.

I'm also looking forward to the next day when Ryan comes over. lol

Great job Riley! :)

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

Hi Lisa. Hope you're alright and survived the storms over the past week. What a mess!

Simon has certainly found himself in a tricky place, so let's hope it works out for him.

Thanks for the review.

Riley
Carrie76%s's Photo

Oct 26 2012 10:33 PM

(Chapter 19 Review)

I love this story. The boys are really cute. Simon and Toby are little imps. I say that Toby should at least give things with Simon a try. They are young. They would be so dern cute together too.
Gizmo cracked me up in this chapter. Maybe it was because I turned on the light and alerted my two fuzzballs to the fact that I was awake. Ripley ( named after the Alien movies) and Daisy ( named after the song Hal sings before shutting down in 2001) are happily standing outside of my door meowing at me! Sucks to be them, I would rather read and figure out what is happening between Luke and Ryan... While we are figuring out what is happening with Toby and Simon, Luke and Ryan could be doing wonderful things! We need one of those Dukes of Hazard voice overs... Mean while on the other side of the neighborhood, people were up to no good, well at least depending on who ya asked...
Also, where is Ell-i-ot? I am curious to know how he is doing.
Great chapter as always! I can't wait for Wednesday. Wednesday is going to rock so far, lots of new stories and simply buckets of new music coming out too. I may have to resort to reading because my hears have shut off in self-defence...

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

Hi Carrie. Glad you liked Gizzie. He really is the hero of the chapter! Hope you found the Wednesday chapter.

And Elliot? Remain curious in the knowledge that he's not that far away. You didn't really think he was going to disappear did you?

Riley
Rebelghost85%s's Photo

Oct 26 2012 07:16 PM

(Chapter 19 Review)

I really wish Simon the best, although it would be more realistic if Toby were straight. Maybe they'll be up for some experimentation later on.

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

Who knows what will come? only time will tell the real story.
Thanks for the review!
Riley
Mike00%s's Photo

Oct 26 2012 06:16 PM

(Chapter 19 Review)

A great chapter. I like catching up with Simon's life as well. :)
Thanks, Riley.

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

Hi Mike - and thanks for the note. Simon is quite an interesting character. Let's hope it works out for him.
Riley
Andrew_Q_Gordon %s's Photo

Oct 26 2012 03:34 PM

(Chapter 19 Review)

You're making us wait til Wednesday??? What idiot gave you . . . . oh wait - never mind. I think this chapter captured things really well. You can feel for Simon and how much it hurts to be there, but how he wouldn't be anywhere else if he had a choice. Nice chapter.

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

Thanks Andy. Simon's not finding it easy, that's for sure!
reader220%s's Photo

Oct 24 2012 11:59 PM

(Chapter 18 Review)

Adding another layer of tension is a good move, and I'm glad you used Chick-Fil-A. I think it is a great company (no I don't work for them) and I enjoy eating their chicken sandwiches. I'm above petty politics.

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

Chick-fil-A? Could be a red herring! Ooops, no, that's fish!

Thanks for the note. Glad you're enjoying!
Riley
Andrew_Q_Gordon %s's Photo

Oct 20 2012 03:34 PM

(Chapter 18 Review)

Well if Daddy works for Chick-fil-A I already hate him. And there is the church group, yeah, douche of the year contestant. Poor Luke, starts to chuck some wood, then has to dance with the princess and then she thinks SHE's the cause of the woody and when she grabs at the opportunity, he rejects her cold. Hmm me wonders just how long he's gonna be in the closet. (And since, even as your beta reader I haven't read beyond this chapter, I don't have a clue.)
Okay reality time - I really do like the little bits you sew into your story - little bits are not to be confused with naughty bits. But the way things pop up they give the story an realness that makes it easy to relate to. Good job Riley.

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

So, all this insinuating stuff about things 'popping up'! I'm all of a dither!

Will Luke risk coming out to anyone other than Simon. Well, you have to remember he's British. Does it make a difference? Heck yes! An Englishman's home is his castle; we're genetically private. Who knows what we keep in our dark dungeons!

And more seriously, thanks for the review - it always men's a lot.
Ri
Lisa%s's Photo

Oct 20 2012 03:12 PM

(Chapter 18 Review)

I will reiterate what I said in my last review: I LOVE Olly! He just cracks me up! I would love to find out what Olly and Owen were up to. Well, besides playing Yu-Gi-Oh. lol

I was wondering why Stacey ran off like that. I guess I can understand how she could feel embarrassed by sort of asking Luke out and not getting the response she hoped for, but why didn't she just say ok, so maybe when you turn sixteen? Why just run away? She seems like such a sweet, down to earth girl, I can't see her getting angry with Luke, oh, unless she saw right through his lie. I just thought of that. Maybe she saw thru his lie and was even more embarrassed and that's why she ran off. Hmmmm now I feel bad for her. And just moments before she thought he was hot for her. lol I guess he'll just have to apologize or something to her another time.

I'm looking forward to Luke and Ryan's 'studying'', lol. Great chapter Riley! :)

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

Hi Lisa - I wrote a bit about what happened to Stacey in the reply to Mike. She is a sweet girl and I think she ran off, not because of Luke, but because she felt she'd let herself down. Often we are our own deepest critics! Is she going to get another opportunity? Dunno....

Studying is coming up soon!

Riley
wildone%s's Photo

Oct 19 2012 01:53 PM

(Chapter 18 Review)

This chapter had me laughing my head off Posted Image

The predicament Luke found himself in on the dance floor was just too funny. Not to mention his excited state while thinking about who was in the bathroom, but to have here think the smartklamp was his actual erection was too funny.

I am really interested in Olly and Owen. For the two to hit it off so quickly definitely makes me want to know more. So you can put down 3 votes for me, myself and I Posted Image

Great chapter and thanks for posting :2thumbs:

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

Hi Steve. Thanks for he votes for Owen and Olly! Things are wrong for both of them - but will two wrongs have the chance to become a right?

Thanks for the review.

Riley
Mike00%s's Photo

Oct 19 2012 01:01 PM

(Chapter 18 Review)

Whew! Lucky Luke, not!
Hehe - Real bad timing there and unfortunate that Stacy felt the 'hard lump' sticking between his legs and came to the wrong conclusion.
​I'm betting Luke can't wait to get that device off too..
Why did Stacy run off like that at the end? Was it because he turned her down, and with her being rich and spoilt she's used to getting everything she desires? Or is she just one of those oversensitive girls?

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

Hi Mike!

Poor Stacey! Don't be too hard on her. Actually she's quite a nice girl - the type of girl who could be spoilt, living in the life of luxury, but instead chooses not to go to a private school and will wait tables to make her own money. In her own way, she's actually as conflicted as Luke - or she was at that moment. She's grown up with a strong Christian ethic and tries to remain true to what she believes is right. She gets face with an attractive guy who, by the shape of what appears to be in his pants, has the hots for her. In a moment of weakness she brushes away her values and entertains what she knows many of her friends are already doing with their boyfriends. He rejects her, and all she's left with is massive guilt.

And you're right. Luke can't wait to be shot of the device!
ninecila%s's Photo

Oct 19 2012 12:49 PM

(Chapter 18 Review)

Oh my God! Lol
What a predicament... :D And the first thing he thinks of is he can't date until he is sixteen :)
Looking forward to more....

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

I know, poor guy! More is coming!
Riley
Lisa%s's Photo

Oct 14 2012 09:36 PM

(Chapter 17 Review)

What a great chapter Riley! I loved the banter back and forth between Luke and Damon. And it's so true what Luke said to Damon; it's so much easier talking to someone you never met face to face, than it is talking to your friends sometimes.

And Owen's mom was funny: she'll pick them up at 9:30, lol, more like 12:30 A.M.!! haha

So what's with the Chick-Fil-A, isn't that that homophobic company? Oh wait, is this a sign of things to come? The fact that Todd and Stacey belong to this HUGE church (I never heard of so many people belonging to the same church!) and the Chick-Fil-A....this doesn't sound like it's gonna bode well for Luke if he ever tells Stacey about himself. He might have to; I think she's almost ready to attack him,lol. The little ho. ;)

But....she has this wonderfully, hysterical brother Olly! He is a pisser! And I suppose being crass (although it's funny) and self-deprecating is his way of dealing with his disability or with the way people act around him. It's his defense mechanisim. I really want to find out more about him. I'm glad Owen at least found someone to hang out with. And play Yu-Gi-Oh with! lol Don't remember which are better: God cards or the Blue Eyes White Dragon (was that the name of it? All I know is we got a bunch of both cards, hehe)

I was really feeling bad for Owen, sitting all by himself and moping. I'm glad Luke at least tried to get him involved in conversations. After all, we've all been in Owen's place at one time or another. Well, maybe not Luke, lol.

Oh, speaking of Luke, well actually his mother: so, she's not computer savvy, huh? Then how does she read her gay porn? Don't all moms read gay porn? Oops, that must only be me. :*)

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

Lisa! You read gay porn...I'm shocked! Hehe!

Well, you may be right CFA might be an issue for Luke. The church that Stacey and her family attend is based on one not far from where Luke lives. The membership is actually around 30,000!

I agree, Olly is a great character, but he's hurting. That's a different story that may come soon.

Luke and Damon? There's definitely something happening there, but you'll need to be patient to find out what.

Grate review - THANK YOU!

Riley
Remijay%s's Photo

Oct 13 2012 10:06 PM

(Chapter 17 Review)

I cant comment anymore... i already know what happens... But i still love this story. :)

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

Still always great to hear from you though. Thanks for the note!
Riley
wildone%s's Photo

Oct 13 2012 06:08 PM

(Chapter 17 Review)

Great chapter, thanks :)

So with a couple of mentions of things, I'm beginning to wonder a lot about Stacey. First, was the Chick Fil-A mention on the DJ's bass stand, was it? Second was Todd and Stacey's involvement in what seems to be a mega Church. Even though Luke has accepted the fact that he is gay, I can't help but wonder if Stacey and her family might not be as understanding :(

I too agree that maybe Olly and Owen together might be a good pairing. It seems Olly has a big chip on his shoulder about what life has dealt him and Owen we know has one firmly in place. Maybe the two will be good for each others.

Thanks again Riley!

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

Chick-fil-A. Definitely some issues there for a guy like Luke! Owen and Olly - now that's definitely a story that needs telling. Watch this space!!

Great to hear from you Steve.
Riley
ninecila%s's Photo

Oct 13 2012 09:15 AM

(Chapter 17 Review)

I kinda like Olly :) I think it would do Owen some good to Hang Out with him some more - he would get dragged Out of his depressed attitude.

I got a feeling that Luke has to do something about Stacy - and really soon, if it isn't already too late....
And I got a feeling, that sometime in the future there is going to happen something between Luke and Damon. There was this ominous sentence "Maybe he should have known, even then."

Can't wait to see :)

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

Ooohhh - it was a little ominous wasn't it! Let's see where it leads. As for Stacey, Luke has a problem on his hands!

Thanks for the review ninecila!
Riley
Mike00%s's Photo

Oct 13 2012 07:59 AM

(Chapter 17 Review)

Damon's a funny guy. Had me laughing out loud at the comment about size and Luke assuming he meant the clamp device.
Maybe Olly and Owen can hit it off and become good friends, it must be difficult for Owen, not having settled down properly in the US yet, like everyone else seems to have.
And I'm still curious to know how things will go with Stacey and Luke, too.
You have me well and truly hooked now, Riley :D
Cheers, Mike.

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

Hi Mike - thanks for the review. I think Owen and Olly need their own story space as there may well be a story to tell! Glad you're hooked - next chapter on its way!
Riley
Mike00%s's Photo

Oct 09 2012 04:49 PM

(Chapter 16 Review)

Loved the chapter, particularly Luke and Si's 'moment' in the games room.
Ryan seems like a good friend for Luke too.
Can't wait for more.
-Mike, :)

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

Hi Mike - great to hear from you again. Ryan is a good friend, though whether there's more to him than that is a mystery.
Rndmrunner%s's Photo

Oct 09 2012 11:34 AM

(Chapter 16 Review)

Great story. to be honest, when the story started i did not see how you could make it work so well. I started on the basis of your previous story and am not disappointed. I love the way you are managing a handful of characters which are being developed independantly and are distinct personalities. I can see the plot starting to thicken. thanks

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

Hello - and thanks for the review! I really appreciate it. The plot really is thickening, and there may be a few surprises in store - and some shocks too!
wildone%s's Photo

Oct 07 2012 11:17 PM

(Chapter 16 Review)

Great chapter Riley

I know I haven't left a comment in a while so thought I'd just leave one to say I'm still really enjoying this story very much. Keep up the great work!

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

Hi Steve. Thanks for letting me know. Glad you're enjoying it and hope it stays that way.
Riley J
Lisa%s's Photo

Oct 07 2012 11:14 PM

(Chapter 16 Review)

Luke should have known that Ryan would never make fun of him or joke about him with their friends. A true friend wouldn't do that.

I'm glad Luke confessed to Simon. They need to stick together since no one else knows. I wonder when that will change?

I feel so bad for Owen. Oh, it Owen wants anymore Yu-Gi-Oh cards, I have binders and binders of them that are just sitting in my storage room. I can ship them out to him if he wants. lol And I remember sitting on the floor with that stupid large paper on the floor, putting the Yu-Gi-Oh cards down depending on their health and strengths, something like that. Who knows, I always lost. (On purpose actually just so my kid would win and leave me alone) lol. Horrible mom, huh?

I'm looking forward to reading about the party. Hopefully Luke can try to cheer Owen up. Maybe convince him he doesn't need to run away from Georgia......

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

Your right, a friend wouldn't do that. But Ryan doesn't yet know what Luke is - if he finds out, will that friendship survive the test? I'll let Owen know you have more cards. You want a shipping address?
Remijay%s's Photo

Oct 07 2012 08:05 PM

(Chapter 16 Review)

Heh, i like this chapter.. i liked it the time before also. But nonetheless, it's amazing how friends in a private high school treat each other... The emotions that you had running through both boys were awesome. They confessed to each other and Luke even felt trusted enough to spill his dirty little secret, even though he didnt tell Simon about Ryan. :)

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

It had to come out sooner or later. Hopefully it'll be good for them both.

Thanks for the review.
Riley
Carrie76%s's Photo

Oct 07 2012 06:20 PM

(Chapter 16 Review)

Oh my. YAY! I really liked this chapter. There were several reasons. The first and usual reason, I am a geek. Star Wars makes me happy. Windows updates. UGH. There is the reason I am a MAC. And Stone Mountain. I went there on my honeymoon. It was so much fun. As for the story, I am so glad that Luke and Simon have each other. They are so close and they are going to need each other. Poor Owen will need Luke too. I think he will be able to help him. I also thought it was a good thing that Ryan discovered Luke's surgery. I hope Luke doesn't get Ryan out of his head. I love those two together. I can't wait to read the next couple of chapters. I think it shall be fun to see if the damn thing still works. Tee hee hee! Now, I am off to do what I was supposed to be doing which is studying for the entrance exam to the Masters program. The G.R.E. is a damn hard test! :o)

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

Hi there geeky girl!

If Ryan finds out what's in Luke's head, he's either going to love him, or kill him. Good luck with the GRE, by the way!
Remijay%s's Photo

Oct 03 2012 11:38 AM

(Chapter 15 Review)

SOrry about the spolier in the other review. And i actually liked this chapter. I havent read it in a while, it was a good re-fresher. :) Luke is like any other male out there, we all have to inspect our injuries or whatever foreign thing that got attached to our bodies. LOL it was funny.
Thanks again Riley for posting this very good and light hearted story. :) Til next time.

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

Hey there Remi - glad you liked it. I hate to worry you, but don't depend on it remaining light hearted!
Lisa%s's Photo

Oct 03 2012 11:20 AM

(Chapter 15 Review)

Good for Luke for agreeing to go to Stacey's party and help Owen at the same time. And who knows; maybe Ryan will be there and he can APOLOGIZE to him. It didn't sound like Ryan believed his lame dentist story anyway. =) And I know I keep bringing this up b/c I keep forgetting: I thought Ryan was the only one who knew about Luke's surgery?

I was cracking up at the visual of Luke pissing all over the shower! Holy crap! What's he gonna do on Monday in school if he has to pee? Climb naked into the urinal and piss all over? lol

I know what Luke's mom is all about; my fourteen year old needs lessons on how to piss in the toilet w/o missing. It's called AIMING!!!! Something he needs to learn. lol

As always Riley; you have me wanting more! =)

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

Lisa, we guys are not good at the whole toileting thing at the best of times!

Ryan remains a complete unknown, and may even be a red herring. Time will tell. In the meantime, school looms for Luke.

Thanks for the review!
Carrie76%s's Photo

Oct 02 2012 03:33 PM

(Chapter 15 Review)

YAY! I liked that. Poor Luke. I feel sorry for him. Of all the places I can think of to be in pain, that is the last one I would wish on my enemy. At least he is on the mend though. There is good news though... Peeing in the bathtub is good for the environment. No extra flushing they say. I am glad this story is not over. He and Ryan need to get it together. He needs to tell him about the surgery and whatnot. I am looking forward to more. ::: Kermit arm flail::: Yay!!!!!

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

Loved the review! Thanks! Am off to the tub to have a kermis flail!
Riley
Remijay%s's Photo

Oct 02 2012 01:04 AM

(Chapter 14 Review)

Um? That is not the end of story... I remember when you first started to write this story. It has alot more left to be written and read... Dont get me wrong, the story is great, but i remember him and Ryan, plus Ryan's sister. I know there has to be more to it... But anywho, i love this story. The detail, the emotions, and turmoil that you put the characters through. And FYI i know Ryan is GAY... I remember a chapter where he finds out that LondonLolly is actually Luke.

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

Thanks for the review Remijay, I really appreciate it! Careful with he spoilers though...

Riley
Lisa%s's Photo

Sep 24 2012 02:09 PM

(Story Review)

I forgot to ask you Riley: wasn't Elliot (from the Elliot and Miguel story) sort of introduced in this story, way back when they were at the mall? I thought Luke was going to meet Elliot in some way.......
Lisa%s's Photo

Sep 24 2012 08:29 AM

(Chapter 14 Review)

Wait, what? What just happened? What happened that was bad that Luke had to see Dr. T. again? Who was the "he" he was writing this for? AND WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU HOPED WE MADE IT TO THE END INTACT???????????????? WHAT END????????????????????? You can't possibly leave it like this!!!!!! I wanna know about afterwards; how Luke's coping, how it turned out after the SmartKlamp was removed, Ryan, all that good stuff!

Unless you're planning a sort of sequel......and if so, for the love of God, get started writing Riley!!!!! :lol:

And I loved the, "Just a small prick." Well thanks, mate! That was really funny! :D

Oh, and in the paragraph where Luke was getting those shots and he didn't feel anything, I think you meant to write down nada. De nada means you're welcome but nada means nothing. (I'm pretty sure)

Ok, so awesome chapter! I, along with Daddy, was also cringing even though I don't have any boy bits to cringe to. haha I guess I just felt empathy for Luke. And now at last I can picture everything and I'm pretty sure I know what he's gonna look like afterwards. =)

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

Who is the 'he'? Not telling, though I think I gave everyone the wrong impression by suggesting in the end notes that it had come to an end. I just meant the end of the chapter. There's more...much more. In fact, we've only just got started!

Riley
PS Thanks for the update on the boy bits...good to know!! :)
Rebelghost85%s's Photo

Sep 23 2012 10:51 AM

(Chapter 14 Review)

Things seem to be getting ominous. I'm worried about the procedure and Luke's future troubles you hinted about. Gah! I can't wait to read more.

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

The future for Luke is unsure, but you can be sure it's not ending as easily as coming to the completion of his procedure.
Carrie76%s's Photo

Sep 23 2012 09:11 AM

(Chapter 14 Review)

ACK! The end? You mean of the procedure right, not just of the story. If it is the end of the story that is not acceptable! No, I am not saying that your story wasn't good either, it was wonderful but now I need to know what happens with Ryan and Luke. Maybe a follow up story of some variety?
Anyways, This chapter was very good. I am glad that Luke came through everything ok and that while it was scary, it wasn't too painful for him. I know those injections had to hurt like all get out, its good that you wrote him brave. Posted Image I sure hope you have something else up your sleeve for me to read. I loved this one.
P.S. Yes, I am a girl geek. I love all things Star Trek and Star Wars, FireFly and Battlestar Galactica. I won't even get into the video game part of my geekiness. That is just an whole different story.

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

The end Carrie? No way - in fact it's only just starting, so hang on for warp speed!
Daddydavek%s's Photo

Sep 23 2012 09:10 AM

(Chapter 14 Review)

The "short needle" and the "small prick", understated and you really had me almost writhing in my seat. It was a bit clinical, but then I think that is what the story called for. Good job.

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

Hi Dave. Hopefully not overly clinical...it's a hard balance to get right. Glad you're still enjoying it.

Riley
Mike00%s's Photo

Sep 21 2012 05:59 PM

(Chapter 13 Review)

Haha I wasn't sure whether to feel nervous for Luke with his impending circumcision procedure, or laugh at some of the more awkward & comical moments.
I think the fact that Luke has phimosis is important to the story, if he'd merely wanted the procedure for aesthetical reasons I'm sure you'd have some comments on here talking about how unethical it is etc. For some reason as of late the topic of circumcision has become a sticky one online.
To me circumcision is a personal choice, and at Luke's age it can be said for sure he does have a say in the matter, unlike RIC patients.
Back to the story, I hope his surgery goes well. The hint at the end worried me slightly, My own background is very similar to the one of Luke's except to say I'm not, nor ever been to America, and I was a little younger too.
So it's been an interesting read for me so far and brought back memories.
Please be quick with the next chapter, can't wait for it. :)

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

Hi Mike - thanks for the note. I guess every good story has a hook, and you can guess what this one happens to be! On the other hand, I really didn't want to get into something that can cause quite a bit of argument.

Glad to hear you have memories - hope they're good ones!

Riley
Lisa%s's Photo

Sep 15 2012 11:38 PM

(Chapter 13 Review)

Ahhhh, what do you mean Luke could be wrong about the ending being in sight? lol What's gonna go wrong????

I was actually surprised Luke's mom was planning on going into the procedure room to watch the operation. Would the doctor even allow this? I would NEVER plan on doing something like that! I don't even think for babies or little kids the doctor would allow anyone other than medical professionals wearing masks and whatnot into the operating room.

I am also a bit confused about the procedure. I thought the whole term circumcision meant taking off the foreskin. But the doctor mentioned that an option would be that it being high and tight, is that what it was called? Where a lot of the foreskin was left on and it would hide the scar. Are these for guys who only get the operation done as a medical necessity, but they really want to keep their foreskin? I guess I was just confused b/c I thought being circumcised meant you had no foreskin.

I'm glad Luke was able to finally relax with Ella there. I can imagine how embarrassed he'd be with a young girl there! It's bad enough he has to be there half naked with the doctor! lol

Another awesome chapter Riley! Looking forward to the operation now.

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

You ask what might go wrong? Despite the provocative title, the story has never actually been primarily about circumcision – that’s merely a context. So, what is it about? For that you need to keep reading Lisa!

I think you’re right about Luke’s mum. I suspect that if she had indicated that she expected to enter the surgery environment too, Tiberius would have gently but firmly explained that she needed to stay outside. Maybe Luke didn’t need to have brought it up after all.

This probably isn’t the place to go into details of circ ops, but most competent specialists recognise that the planned outcome of clearing the glans of its covering can be achieved, while still retaining the more sensitive inner foreskin– a high circ.
Carrie76%s's Photo

Sep 15 2012 03:55 PM

(Chapter 13 Review)

Oh my. At first I was a little worried about reading this story. It is such a good story though! Poor Luke. I am not sure which would be worse, mom or a female nurse. I have learned that nurses have seen everything, however, they have not seen MY everything and therefore it is different.
I am glad I decided to read this story. I can't wait to see what happens next.
Something I almost forgot to mention: I think you are doing a wonderful job keeping the medical jargon under control and easy to understand. Good research on your part. I like that there is enough information to progress the story and explain the procedure but its not overwhelming.
I know I am being greedy because you just posted this chapter but post quickly. Posted Image
One last thing, this is a really silly question. Did you name the doctor after James Tiberius Kirk from Star Trek? The geek in me wants to know.

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

‘I have learned that nurses have seen everything, however, they have not seen MY everything and therefore it is different.’ That made me laugh!! That’s probably exactly how Luke felt. These current chapters are quite medical, as they centre on the op that Luke’s been waiting for. I’ve tried to keep a good balance to not put people off, so thanks for the feedback on that.

James Tiberius Kirk. Now I’m shocked – a girl who is a geeky Trekkie! It’s such a great name though!! If I ever have a cat, I’m def gonna call it Tiberius!
Carrie76%s's Photo

Sep 09 2012 11:00 PM

(Chapter 12 Review)

I am glad to see Luke figuring out who he is and he seems to be dealing well with it. I am curious to see what happens with DamonJ. I think he will help him alot. I can't wait to see what happens. Please post fast.

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

Hello Carrie, and thanks for the review. Damon certainly has the insight to help Luke, though whether he can help from where he is, is another question.
Lisa%s's Photo

Sep 09 2012 08:14 PM

(Chapter 12 Review)

It's great that Luke finally came to the realization that he's gay; that was a big step for him. I'm glad that Damon was able to confide in him the frustration of feeling like you have to live in the closet.

Luke should tell Simon though. If Simon finds out that Luke has realized this for some time, he will be upset that Luke didn't trust him enough to tell him. And like Luke said, he can at least talk to Simon about it and vice-versa.

Great chapter Riley! :) Looking forward to C-day! lol

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

Hi Lisa. It’s true, Damon may well be able to bring something important into the mix – time will tell. You’re right though. Luke needs to start talking to Simon before too long.
Rebelghost85%s's Photo

Sep 09 2012 02:25 PM

(Chapter 12 Review)

On the surface it seems that Luke is well adjusted about his revelation. He's accepted the fact that he's gay but he still has to deal with if and how to come out. Plus his other issues- the circumcision and being an expat.

I really enjoy your stories. The characters are so complex and their growth is quiet amazing. Thank you for the update.

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

Thanks for the review.
I think that the more that he thinks about coming out, the less likely he’ll have the courage to do so…unless something pushes him over the edge, so to speak. The whole circumcision deal is a strange one for him, and is confusingly bound up with how he perceives both his and the sexuality of those around him. Don’t expect the story to be with out some twists and turns!
Mike00%s's Photo

Sep 02 2012 06:57 PM

(Chapter 11 Review)

Great update, I enjoyed it.
His curiousity in the gym locker room reminded me of my own curious times back in high school, lol. Comparing the other guys etc. Lucky Ryan bought Luke's half truth excuse, too.
Awesome!

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

Hi Mike - thanks for the note. Luke had a lucky escape that day, for sure. He's gonna need to figure it all out soon though or it's going to drive him crazy!

Riley
Hector Q Sanchez%s's Photo

Sep 02 2012 05:28 PM

(Chapter 11 Review)

HI Riley, Welcome Back. Hope you had a great summer. Now that that is out of the way, I am likiing this story very much. You come across as a very knowledgeable author and that makes this story believeable. Please keep it going. Thanks for your fine upstanding authorship.

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

Thanks for the review and your kind words, Hector. Yep , it's been a busy summer - and a wet one here in the UK. Glad you're enjoying the story.
Riley
Lisa%s's Photo

Sep 02 2012 12:14 PM

(Chapter 11 Review)

So glad to see Luke and Simon back! :)

And every boy needs to know about manscaping. lol It's not just for the boys you know. =) Girls like it too.

I am surprised Luke didn't tell his best friend Ryan about his circumcision plans. Even though he wanted this, he is doing it mainly because it's medically necessary. Why wouldn't he share something like this with Ryan? And why didn't Ryan even question it? Why isn't he wondering why on earth his best friend wants to go under the knife for something like this?

Anyway, great chapter as always Riley. =)

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

Hi Lisa - thanks for the review!

Manscaping?? Never heard it called that, before!

Luke hasn't wanted to talk about his circumcision op because, medical necessity or not, he's a guy - and a little confused to boot. The fact that Ryan hasn't pushed for more information from Luke is an unknown.

We'll have to see how it develops!

Riley
Rebelghost85%s's Photo

Sep 02 2012 08:46 AM

(Chapter 11 Review)

Luke's fantasy with Ryan "mirrored" my own experience of self discovery. I had always been gay but it was that alone point where I found myself fantasizing about some of the boys in my class that it hit me. Hopefully Luke deals with it better than I did at the time.

Great chapter and thank you for updating. Everyone's lives are busy but I really enjoy this story.

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

I think you're right, everyone comes to a point of self discovery. For some it hits them suddenly, others, that discovery takes time and is slow coming. Luke was like that - and maybe that slow realisation helps him deal better with it.

Thanks for the review.

Riley
Andrew_Q_Gordon %s's Photo

Sep 01 2012 01:06 PM

(Chapter 11 Review)

You're still writing?? :o

Okay never mind that - I liked this chapter quite a bit. Well aside from Luke using his dad's beard clipper to trim his nads. Remind me to NEVER leave the hair trimmer alone when you're around. :rolleyes:

The part with Ryan was really well done. I like how his interest is conveyed, but not so, and that Ryan is completely unreadable. If he finds out Luke's into him will Ryan kirk out? Kiss him? Shrug it off? No way to tell at this point. Posted Image [I'd give you an around the world and back snap, but there isn't an emoticon for that.]

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

Still writing? LOL - you know I am! Though I give you the benefit of the doubt!

For sure, Ryan is a bit of an unknown quantity. It's impossible to say right now whether he'll remain close friend or fierce enemy: perhaps he has the capability for both.

Thanks for the review and patient help, Andy...
Daddydavek%s's Photo

Jun 10 2012 02:27 PM

(Chapter 10 Review)

Poor Simon! His angst, misgivings, loneliness and aching were portrayed well without being over the top or maudlin. Good job.
Now get the next chapter to your beta reader!

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

Am getting there!! Well...kind of!
Gandalf%s's Photo

Jun 10 2012 10:47 AM

(Chapter 10 Review)

So great to have you back. I was afeard you were not doing well and worried for you. It is of course great to see you back and updating your great story. I would have hated to see it cut short....

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

Am still here - just overly busy. Wish had more time to sit and write!

Thanks for the review!
scavola%s's Photo

Jun 09 2012 09:09 PM

(Chapter 1 Review)

I blame you for my not getting sleep last night!
I found the title titillating, and saw that it took place in North Georgia, having just moved from Dahlonega myself. I thought I’d sample a chapter or two, just to see, but got sucked in and read all ten. I enjoyed the story, the writing was good, and I look forward to it being continued, but I do have some comments:
To me, this story should be written from the first person, especially as it has a tone of being told in reflection, through experience, than from the point of view of a young teenager; if it were ‘of the moment’, his uncertainty, as a young teenager, doesn’t work well for me. Also, I found the ancillary scenes, without Ryan, a little jarring.
I can see this getting gratuitous, as in the water bottle scene. What you’re writing is bold and rings true, but should be focused to your audience. If this is for young men, then it’s too explicit. If this is for older men, then it runs the risk of being porn.
It also needs to be edited for content. You present such strong characters and situations that I found myself skipping over sections of nostalgia, looking for what happens next.
Like I said, I look forward to reading more, and seeing what happens to the guys.

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

Sorry I missed replying to the review, as it was linked to an earlier chapter. Firstly thanks for reading. I guess everyone writes in their own way. Mine might be a little weird in terms of perspective, but I hope you still find it readable.

Riley
Lisa%s's Photo

Jun 09 2012 12:36 PM

(Chapter 10 Review)

Yay you're back! I was getting worried, :(

Simon's turmoil and his inner angst were so well written. I just wish Luke would fess up to Simon so at least they would both have someone to talk to.

I could also feel Luke's inner struggle with going along with the Landon and his stupid insults, or sticking up for his brother. (well, not directly at least) I think it's only the most confident of kids who would be a mensch and call Landon out on his discriminatory insults. Even though Ryan didn't do this, thank God he did say something when all Landon wanted to do was help beat up that kid.

Great chapter Riley. I'm glad you're back. :)

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

A bit of turmoil is always good for the soul! Thanks for the review, Lisa!
Andrew_Q_Gordon %s's Photo

Jun 09 2012 07:01 AM

(Chapter 10 Review)

Enjpy?? What the hell is that? Another Rileyism??? :rolleyes:

Honestly, this was one of your better chapters - Simons internal angst was amazingly well done - I think I told you that when I read it over for you - but really, reading it again you really have a great feel for that kind of writing. I could feel Si's turmoil - and in a way remember feeling that way eons ago - I'm old after all so it's been a hot minute since I was that age. 0:)

Hopefully you're back for a bit and we can get on with the rest of this - I mean I'm your bloody beta reader and you only give me one chapter at a time so I'm not any further ahead than anyone else. <_<

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

Thanks mate! Will get next one on your screen soon....ish!
Rebelghost85%s's Photo

Jun 08 2012 05:29 PM

(Chapter 10 Review)

This was a great chapter. The characters are really developing and I really felt how conflicted Luke was throughout the name calling.

Great chapter! Hope to see another one soon (but don't feel pressured!)

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

Thanks - writing when I get the chance!
Lisa%s's Photo

Jun 07 2012 02:47 PM

(Chapter 9 Review)

Hey Riley, I hope everything's ok with you. It's been about two months since you updated this great story and that's not like you. lol

So, I'm just checking to make sure you're all right...

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

I'm good, Lisa. Thanks for asking.
genx_geny%s's Photo

Mar 23 2012 04:29 PM

(Chapter 9 Review)

Yep, still enjoying the story thus far, only dimmed slightly with the agonized waiting for the next installment to hit the screen... but it's a "good" pain and instills a sense of patience in my sense of self ;-)

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

Was a long wait. sorry about that.
Mike00%s's Photo

Mar 21 2012 05:48 PM

(Chapter 9 Review)

Loved it! I'm liking how it's coming along, and poor Simon. Maybe someone should talk to him about non-circumcision phimosis correction, If circumcision isn't for him. -- I also liked getting a glimpse behind Si' in the first half of this chapter while Luke was at the mall.
Can't wait for more to come. :-)

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

More came! Eventually !!
Daddydavek%s's Photo

Mar 20 2012 08:38 PM

(Chapter 9 Review)

Good job Riley. Nice development of the story.

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

Thanks.
Rebelghost85%s's Photo

Mar 20 2012 05:23 PM

(Chapter 9 Review)

Poor Simon. I feel like you're giving us as readers a clearer view on his and Toby's relationship that Si has. They're perfect together :/

There was a feeling of unease throughout this chapter and I find myself waiting for the other shoe to drop. I can't wait for it.

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

They're certainly interesting together. We'll have to see where it goes. Thanks for reading!
Lisa%s's Photo

Mar 13 2012 07:20 PM

(Chapter 8 Review)

Totally threw me off on who everyone is talking about! I guess it's because from the way I read it, the family that came into the store, had a little girl and two brothers, but for some reason I was thinking the brothers were close in age. Dunno why I thought that.

Now of course I know I'm wrong. lol

Hopefully Luke will see him again. :)

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

Hopefully, Lisa, yes - but what his purpose here is, is anyone's guess. A case of watch and wait, I think.
Riley
wildone%s's Photo

Mar 11 2012 10:39 PM

(Chapter 8 Review)

I may or may not know who the other guy is too 0:)

Great chapter Riley, I really enjoyed it :P

I have to admit, with the whole thing about Luke's Mom joining him at the doctor's in the last chapter and his idle conversation with his Dad about his phimosis, I certainly can't relate. Growing up, it was never discussed or shown to anyone. To tell the truth, I just found our a couple of years ago that my dad isn't circumcised. Weird eh?

I would hope that most families could talk this way but looking back I would have died of horror if my dad, or even my mom, discussed my penis with me :o

Looking forward to more :)

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

Hi there! I guess many have made the connection with our friend in the opticians. i find it fun that we know who he is, but Luke doesn't. We'll have to see where it goes.

My story is similar to yours - we never talked about such things, growing up, either. Perhaps it would have helped if we had.

Glad you're still enjoying - and thanks for the review.
Riley
Mike00%s's Photo

Mar 11 2012 08:29 AM

(Chapter 8 Review)

Hmm.. could this boy be a character I recognise from elsewhere? ;) Great to see him added to the mix, and looking forward to seeing where things go from here.
As to the 10% circ' I noticed in the gym class - I can remember 3 boys excluding myself being done, in a class of about 30 ish.

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

You recognise him? Hard to miss him really…! He was always going to be in the story - in fact, the purpose of what was written elsewhere was for this very reason. So, we'll see what he has to bring….
Andrew_Q_Gordon %s's Photo

Mar 11 2012 07:35 AM

(Chapter 8 Review)

Ri,

So I generally don't like to comment on stories I beta for, because I worry about giving away something I know that the readers don't, but I wanted to comment here. The last part where Luke 'meets' umm well someone we know from somewhere else :whistle: Watch Luke interact with 'him' I could totally 'see' the shop, the way 'him' was dressed, the way Luke stretched out watching, how he ignored the giggling girls, etc. That's really great stuff when the reader can see what's happening clearly in their mind. So Posted Image on chapter 8!

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

Andy - thanks for taking the time to drop a note, as if you don't already do masses to help keep the story moving forward!

'Him', as you say, has put in an appearance. Readers are going to have to do their own research to get to the bottom of that one! It's still anyone's guess as to where that will go in the story.

Next chapter soon!

Riley
Daddydavek%s's Photo

Mar 10 2012 06:19 PM

(Chapter 8 Review)

And so it begins. Our soon to be cut protagonist is definitely showing signs of being interested in a guy.Posted Image And iPhones!Posted Image

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

He sure is showing signs! No iPhone? All gay guys have iPhones...!
Lisa%s's Photo

Mar 08 2012 03:36 PM

(Chapter 7 Review)

Hey Riley! A very informative chapter! lol Well, it turns out that Luke actually NEEDS the surgery. And is it hereditary? Is that why Simon may need it too?

I'll tell you; I'm sure I would have turned away or even walked to another part of the room when the doctor was examining Luke. Being a mother myself, I would have given my kid some 'privacy', and only looked if the doctor thought I needed to see for myself.

Oh, the doctor mentioned two different ways of doing the surgery. Freehand resection and a SmartKlamp. What's freehand resection as opposed to the Smartklamp?

I find the whole procedure very manageable; it's not like one long drawn out surgery.

I look forward t the next chapter Riley. I'm certainly learning something here! lol

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

Hi Lisa. Yep - Luke suffers from Phimosis, but I'm sure they'll be able to sort him out. I don't think that Lucy is the type of mum to leave things to chance - especially when she feels quite strongly about it herself. There was no way she wasn't going to find out what was going on.

A freehand resection would be when a surgeon would take a scalpel and literally slice away a section of foreskin by hand. Lots of stitches needed!

Glad you're still enjoying the tale.

Riley
Daddydavek%s's Photo

Mar 07 2012 12:23 AM

(Chapter 7 Review)

Good job of explaining something most of us never want to experience. (phimosis)
I never quite understood those unalterably opposed to circumcision and yet there doesn't seem to be the same hue and cry against piercings or even tattoes on the penis, never mind metal bandings etc.
Poor Simon, he too will probably have to undergo a procedure.
Choosing 'high and tight' seems a bit drastic after having a long dangling prepuce, especially with the shaft skin already stretched?!

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

Hi Dave. Thanks for another review!

I hear what you say about the circ 'mindset'. I guess it's more about the procedure in babies rather than something chosen by a capable adult that gets people riled. As I said to DK, the story won't be about that.

'High' is a no-brainer. 'Tight'? Well, with that, I think we're beginning to see how much Luke finds guys bits something of a turn on!

Poor Simon, indeed! I don't think his mum is going to show much mercy!

Riley
dkstories%s's Photo

Mar 06 2012 06:23 PM

(Chapter 7 Review)

Always embarrassing when the parent has to be there. I have noticed that the frequency of circumcision in the US has changed a lot. Rural, more conservative areas see it more frequently than urban, more liberal areas. Still, I like the approach this story has taken to the overall issues.

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

Hi there - great to hear from you! I think that if Luke had had any inkling that there would be a physical exam, he'd have found a way out of his mum joining the moment.

There's continuing change to circumcision. It may even be on the increase here in the UK, and Australia. Either way, I'm trying to stay clear of the more 'political' discussions and, instead, keep this about the personal experience of an ordinary teen.

Hope it continues to stay readable!

Riley
Rebelghost85%s's Photo

Mar 06 2012 05:24 PM

(Chapter 7 Review)

And here I am, thinking that his circumcision would happen quickly. Great chapter. Really good flow and dialogue.

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

Thanks Rebelghost. I enjoy writing dialogue. At least the consultation is over now, and any treatment is scheduled. It's only just the beginning of poor Luke's problems though, I'm afraid! Thanks for the review.
Mike00%s's Photo

Mar 06 2012 04:19 PM

(Chapter 7 Review)

Wow, poor Luke. Lol. How awkward with his mum being there while he was being examined.
The similarities between Luke's situation and my own keep on coming up. I went through the same experience in my local Drs with my mum also being present, and I too had phimosis, and was embarrassed with my own mother being there. Though I wasn't quite 15 at the time.
In reponse to your earlier reply .... It is fairly uncommon over here. Though judging my my own experiences in the gym showers during school. I think about 10% of us were cut . That was only about 9 or so years ago.
Another great chapter, Riley. :)

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

Thanks Mike. Awkward, yes - but, like your own experience, happens quite a bit.  I'm surprised you had as many as 10% at your UK school. A veritable hotspot! Or maybe mine was just low - I don't remember any. 

I'll be interested to see, as the story progresses, whether Luke's experience continues to mirror your own!
Mike00%s's Photo

Feb 29 2012 09:30 PM

(Chapter 6 Review)

I'm really loving this story so far. I've always found the cross-cultural them interesting. Being British and circ'd I guess I can relate to this, that way too. I can't wait to see where you take the story next. Posted Image
- Mike

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

British and cut? A small minority! Just posted the next chapter - hope you enjoy it!

Riley
Rndmrunner%s's Photo

Feb 27 2012 11:31 AM

(Chapter 6 Review)

I'm really enjoying the story -love how it differes from the usual fare, great premise and great execution.

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

Thanks! Hopefully you'll be happy to know that it's not going to end soon. There's a lot to get through and more than a few twists on the way!
Riley
Daddydavek%s's Photo

Feb 26 2012 05:21 PM

(Chapter 6 Review)

Not only did our young protagonist have to go see the urologist with his mom, but our contrary author left us dangling at the precipice....(Not the prepuce!)



View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

Dangling at the prepuce? Hehe!
Thanks for that!!
Riley
genx_geny%s's Photo

Feb 26 2012 03:26 PM

(Chapter 6 Review)

Love how this story is developing. Wish I could offer up some useful form of critque, but I'm too much of an advid fan of the story to pick at it. Posted Image Really just commenting here to show my appreciation.
Marcus.

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

Hi Marcus. Even just dropping a note to say you've read and enjoyed is great to have. Thank you!
Riley
DutchJoey%s's Photo

Feb 26 2012 02:45 PM

(Chapter 6 Review)

going for circumcision, not with dad but with your mother......

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

Indeed he is Joey! Actually, they're only heading for a consultation. I think that's why Lucy is there. As she has some strong feelings about it, it make complete sense that she's not going abdicate involvement in that discussion to her husband. Luke's stuck with her, whether he likes it or not!
Rebelghost85%s's Photo

Feb 26 2012 02:26 PM

(Chapter 6 Review)

I chuckled when I read the last paragraph. Poor Luke. We as the readers already know it's going to happen, but he doesn't yet.

Ryan is an interesting character. Your hints are pretty big, but Luke is oblivious as always. Great chapter and thanks for posting.

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

Hi Rebelghost. It's true -the way the story lays out, we've already been on the surgery table with him, in the Prologue. The fun in this part of the story is finding out how he gets there. And Ryan? Yes there are clues, and more to come. And even more, that you don't quite expect!

Thanks for the review!
Riley
Lisa%s's Photo

Feb 21 2012 08:12 PM

(Chapter 5 Review)

Well, I just got a MacBook Pro and have no freakin' idea how to use it! lol I have to wait until my fourteen year old can teach me....

I was hysterical when Luke was writing about how ordering breakfast is so different in the states than abroad. The whole egg scenerio was so funny! It had me crackin up b/c it's so true!

Anyway, nice chapter Riley; I look forward to the next one. Hopefully we'll learn a little more about Damon. :)

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

Hi Lisa. I use a MacBook pro too. Love it.

Damon. Yes - quick an interesting character. We'll have to see where that goes...

Thanks for the review,
Riley
Daddydavek%s's Photo

Feb 19 2012 05:11 PM

(Chapter 5 Review)

I think it moved the story along nicely. Luke's talk with his dad at Longhorns was insightful. Good job.

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

Thanks Dave. Don't ya just love Longhorns!
Thanks for the note.
Riley
Rebelghost85%s's Photo

Feb 19 2012 12:51 PM

(Chapter 5 Review)

Nice interlude chapter. It sets up future events well and we got to know more about Luke and Simon. I also enjoyed the outside perspective on America's restaurant culture. If you can't tell, I'm trying really hard not to be impatient :P

Thanks for posting and I really enjoyed reading it. Hopefully we learn more about Damon later.

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

As you say, there's quite a bit of setting up in these first few chapters; introducing characters and context. It'll hit soon enough! Thanks for being patient - and thanks for the review!
Riley
genx_geny%s's Photo

Feb 12 2012 03:17 PM

(Chapter 4 Review)

Absolutely love the way the story has unfolded thus far. It’s quite readable and flows well. I don’t recall any truly awkward spots. I realize gushing about the story isn’t helpful for structure, but at this point, it’s all I can offer. I like the story. Please keep writing.

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

Genx_geny, thanks for reviewing. To hear you're enjoying ET is great - thank you. It's taken a few chapters to set the scene. Soon we'll really get into it. I hope, by the end, you're still speaking to me!

Riley
Lisa%s's Photo

Feb 11 2012 11:58 PM

(Chapter 4 Review)

Well, somehow I missed the last chapter when it was posted. Must have been hiding under my rock.

I totally did not see that one coming with Simon confessing to Luke. Why didn't Luke tell Simon he was feeling the same way? But I am glad that regardless of how he's feeling, he didn't turn his brother away. I'm glad he's gonna be there for Simon if Simon needs him. I think Simon would feel better about himself if Luke confides in him too.

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

I don't think Luke knows WHAT he thinks yet. He's just a teen with lots of questions. Simon is actually much more straightforward - a what you see, is what you get, kind of lad.

Lisa, if you add yourself to the 'follow this story' list and set it up right, you'll get notified when a chapter posts.

Thanks for the review.
Riley
Rebelghost85%s's Photo

Feb 11 2012 06:44 PM

(Chapter 4 Review)

Hm. I didn't think Simon would come out before Luke but it fits with the rest of the story. Hopefully things work out for Simon and Toby and Luke can use his observations of his brother to become more comfortable with who he is.

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

We'll have to see how things go. No promises! Thanks for reviewing
Riley J
Daniel89%s's Photo

Feb 11 2012 06:37 PM

(Chapter 4 Review)

I've read all four chapters, and I wanted to say that I think it's really good. The story flows easily, even when you change between present and diary. The charaters are shaping up and I want to know more about them (I just hope it's not one of them stories where "everyone" suddenly turns out to be gay). I like the british elements to the story, they feel more familliar to me (being from Europe). I really like this story and I will eagerly await more chapters. Keep it up!

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

Hi Daniel. Great to know you're reading the story. It's always interesting to see how Americans and Europeans feel about the differences being portrayed.

Some of the characters will be gay, some not, and some maybe even....well - let's leave that be for now!

Thanks for the review!

Riley
Daddydavek%s's Photo

Feb 11 2012 04:40 PM

(Chapter 4 Review)

Certainly not the 4H club....

Nice chapter!

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

Thanks! So what do you think the 4th 'H' could be?
Daddydavek%s's Photo

Feb 07 2012 09:05 PM

(Chapter 3 Review)

"I think if somebody had told me that the tip was meant to be loose and skin back down the shaft on its own accord, to show off the glans when stiff, I could have saved myself months of irritated frustration. But mine didn't and his didn't and there were no other foreskins around I could compare them too."

Aha! Now we see more of a medical reason for a possible circumcision. An unretractable foreskin is a primary risk factor for balanitis.


View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

Now, there's a possibility! Time will tell.

Thanks for the review, Dave
RILey
Rebelghost85%s's Photo

Feb 07 2012 05:05 PM

(Chapter 3 Review)

Thanks for posting. I wonder what Luke meant about the future in his diary?
Regarding Elliot, people don't have to worry. Nothing was revealed and if they're curious about who he is they can read your other stories. Which I highly recommend.

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

Thanks for recommending my other stories. Much appreciated!

Luke's diary notes allow us to look forward, as well as back. What they reveal...well, that would be telling.

Thanks for the review
Riley
wildone%s's Photo

Feb 06 2012 04:44 AM

(Chapter 2 Review)

Who's Elliott? :unsure:

As being a first time reader to this story, I thought I would come in and leave a review. Should I stay away from the reviews if people that got to read the original release comment about what they have had the privilege to see?

Sorry, maybe that was harsh of me :( , but please try not to give away anything that I don't know as starting to only read and all the way up to Chapter 2 ;) I don't have the option to read ahead to see what is happening like a completed story has.

So I'm glad in a way that the elephant has been recognized early in the story :P . I can't help to figure that the story was about circumcision (I know, call me a genius if you want :D ). The side line at this point is Luke's interest in dicks in general, so look forward to see how that develops.

Kudos for this one line:

The one ray of hope was when the official at the customs desk looked through his spanking brand new passport and stared at him, intently. Luke glared back defiantly. Go on – throw me out – do us both a favor! But, instead of putting him back on a plane to where he rightly belonged, he’d brought his stamp down in final judgment.


I think I reread that line a couple of times so I could calm myself down from laughing so hard :P . It made me wonder, do all kids immigrating to a new country think the same thing? It would be interesting to see what would happen if Luke had taken it further :P . Having experienced US Border Guards is intimidating enough as it is, I wonder if they have an actual grace for surly, pissed off teens :P
.
Thanks for the chapter Riley, looking forward to more Posted Image

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

t's a REALLY good point that you're making Wildone!

On behalf of all those who are reading this story for the first time (at least those parts that had previously been published), can those reviewing be careful not to get carried away.

Though the writing - hopefully - is improved this time around, the main thrust of the story is unchanged. YOU might know what's coming and, trust me, it's going to be there - just be nice and don't spoil it for those who haven't got there yet!

Okay - nuff said - moving on.

Glad you liked the customs scene Wildone. Actually, I don't think those guys are capable of being anything other than intimidating! I've never met one that even smiled.

Thanks for the review,

Riley
Lisa%s's Photo

Feb 05 2012 08:03 PM

(Chapter 2 Review)

Wait, Elliiot's coming? Then Luke should wait; Elliot isn't cut either, right?

I can see where Luke wants to fit in with his friends, but to go as far as to get circumsized at that age; I don't know. I think that'll be more painful that he realizes. They do it to boys as babies for a reason, lol.

This chapter was very comical! I'm looking forward to how he finally convinces his parents to let him go thru with it. When I read the prologue, I was under the impression that Luke came to the US just for the surgery. I wonder how he talked his parents into it. =)

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

Hi Lisa. You know I can't say, though I know you've never stepped into this story previously either.

Luke certainly has some complex reasons for wanting to go down this route and it's unclear how he's going to convince his parents. And when it comes to circumcision as a teen - I hope you aren't squeamish!

Riley
DavyReader%s's Photo

Feb 05 2012 04:22 PM

(Chapter 2 Review)

Luke wants to be circumcised out of conformism and because the idea arouses him. I find this an honest description of his motives. The author doesn't question them though, which I think is a bold point of view. Pretending that Luke has been convincend by the often cited medical reasons would have been much easier.

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

Thanks for the review Davey. One thing you CAN say - people are complicated!

Riley
Daddydavek%s's Photo

Feb 02 2012 06:14 PM

(Chapter 2 Review)

Luke's mom seemed dismissive of his request. His dad's calm demeanor and concluding line about not fixing what isn't broke was slightly better. Still a lot of story to cover to getting to the part where he is cut I hope!

I'm really not in favor of any kind of 'cosmetic' surgery, just for cosmetic reasons unless it is a true deformity.

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

That Luke ends up on the operating table is already in the Prologue. How, and why, he gets there is still to be discovered. It's quite a journey!

I hear what you say about what might be termed 'cosmetic'. Maybe one person's sense of personal 'deformity' is going to be different from anothers?
Rebelghost85%s's Photo

Feb 02 2012 05:05 PM

(Chapter 2 Review)

Is it selfish of me to be chomping at the bit for Elliot and his brother to arrive?
Great chapter. While I don't agree with Luke's point of view his thoughts and feelings were really expressed well.

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

Elliott? Now that would be telling, wouldn't it! We'll have to see...

Riley
Mark M%s's Photo

Jan 22 2012 12:22 AM

(Chapter 1 Review)

i've read quite a bit of this story when it was first on here, im excited your giving it another get go :D

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

Hello Mark.

With the help of Andy and Neph, hopefully written somewhat better now.

Thanks for the note
Gandalf%s's Photo

Jan 21 2012 07:29 PM

(Story Review)

I hope many more become friends of this great story this time around. I am so very happy to see you return to it. I have been hanging out with a Brit who had been a friend many years ago and is now back in the US. This has added a bit more color for me on this rebirth of your tale. Thanks again for a great story.

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

I think you're right, culture can make quite a difference to how you interpret life - either real or in a story. Either way, I hope many enjoy reading it.

Riley
Simonjames30%s's Photo

Jan 21 2012 11:47 AM

(Chapter 1 Review)

I have been looking forward for ages for this story coming back :)

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

Hi Simon! Well, back it is - and thanks for dropping a review to let me know you're reading.

Riley
DutchJoey%s's Photo

Jan 21 2012 05:56 AM

(Chapter 1 Review)

Glad Luke is back in town(?). This was the kind of story I was looking forward to and missed it when it was discontinued.
I can't remember anything so seriously wrong that could people give reason to complain about so let us just enjoy the humour that this story has.

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

Hi Joey. Well Luke never really left, but we've got back to the story and I hope many still enjoy reading it.

Thanks for the review.

Riley
Rebelghost85%s's Photo

Jan 20 2012 06:03 PM

(Chapter 1 Review)

I am really looking forward to this story and I'm so glad you're continuing it.

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

I'm looking forward to telling it!

Riley
TrevorTime%s's Photo

Jan 20 2012 11:49 AM

(Story Review)

Yikes, after reading this first chapter, all I can say is that I am so glad I was cut as a baby. There is NO way I would want to go through all that as a teenager.

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

It's quite a journey - trust me!

Riley
Lisa%s's Photo

Jan 20 2012 11:08 AM

(Chapter 1 Review)

Riley! Riley! Riley! I'm so glad you're posting this story! Since quite a few readers mentioned this in their review of "In Safe Hands" (still crying, btw), I've been eager to read it! =)

From what I gathered in the prologue, something was wrong under the foreskin, that's why Luke is being circumsized, right? I mean I've never really heard of any one other than babies getting circumsized in a hospital or at a bris.

Looking forward to the next chapter Riley! :)

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

Hi Lisa. Yep, here it is. ET has a long way to go and there are some shocks and surprises along the way. And as to what's wrong with Luke? Well, read on MacDuff!

Riley
Remijay%s's Photo

Jan 20 2012 11:04 AM

(Chapter 1 Review)

I remember this story Riley. The first time I read it, it was awesome. I can't remember though if you put that much detail in the first time... anyway, getting off track.

I really liked... you never did finish this story .. I have been waiting patiently... yay I give you an A+ very well done... ;)

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

Other than tidying up a bit, the Prologue is as it was. The main thrust of the story wont change and of course you haven't seen the ending yet. Maybe it'll surprise even you?

Thanks for waiting - and enjoy the read!

Riley
Daddydavek%s's Photo

Jan 20 2012 10:48 AM

(Chapter 1 Review)

Ouch. What a hook!

To all those who want to ban circumcision, this story could be a revelation. But then again, noting human stubbornness, probably not....

View Post Reply from Riley Jericho (author)

Hi Dave - it got your attention then! Yep, it'll certainly touch on that...I guess we see where it leads us.

Riley