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    AC Benus
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Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

Dignity - a novel - 20. Chapter 20: Hospital

The end.

Chapter 20: Hospital

 

Lincoln kicks the double doors to the ER with his foot. He is cradling a limp Jack in his arms. I run ahead. There is a balding man in his forties behind a sliding glass window in the wall.

"Help him!" I hear myself scream.

I turn around and see Linc slumped on a wooden bench and supporting Jack's head. In his tender attitude, he reminds me of a living Pietà.

Turning back, I see the man behind the glass has risen and is now talking heatedly into the handset of a wall phone.

He makes a 'calm down' gesture to me with an open hand.

"Dawn," Linc says. "Come over here. Is he breathing? "

I rush to Jack's side, half-sliding on my knees over the slick floor. I kneel by his head, and place my index finger under his nose to see if I can feel some breath.

Just at the moment, like clouds parting for a ray of sunlight, Jack opens his eyes a tiny crack. His lips rise up on one side as he sees me. "Dawn..? So…I'm not dead..?" He almost laughs.

Lincoln and I pass each other choked-back but relieved sighs.

"No, dweeb," I tell him, stroking his forehead. "You ain't dead yet."

Just then a bunch of people in lime-green scrubs burst through a pair of double doors at the end of the hallway. Some are pushing a gurney, others are slipping on latex gloves, and all are motivated to get to us immediately.

Lincoln struggles to his feet with his charge in his arms. He and two of the guys in scrubs help hoist Jack onto the rolling bed.

A larger African American woman starts barking orders. Two people begin ripping the buttons off of Jack's shirt, then the second one cuts his t-shirt open from the collar. After that, a third sticks on pieces of square plastic connected to thin cables.

Another uses a balloon-like air thing and covers Jack's mouth. She squeezes air into him.

The gurney starts to roll back through the double doors, and Lincoln gasps. I guess he actually starts to panic that they would not let him follow.

The woman, who now I suppose is the head nurse, turns to us.

"What happened to him?" she wants to know. "Did he fall; hit his head?"

Lincoln can barely get the words out. "No. He's got leukemia, bad leukemia." Linc makes a motion to bolt for the door. "I want to go with him."

The nurse steps in front of him with a raised hand. Her tone is one sharp enough to let Linc know she's not gonna take any bullshit. "And just who are you?"

Lincoln starts to cry. The tears roll down with any effort to snivel them back up. He tells her plainly, "I am his boyfriend, and I want to be with him, in case…in case…"

The nurse's attitude instantly softens.

"Ok, honey. He'll be – "

It's almost like she was going to say 'fine,' but stopped.

"We'll do all we can for him; you can come with me, but you need to stand back, out of the way, until we say it's ok."

"Thank you."

"I'm really sorry for you, baby, but what is your boyfriend's name?"

"Jack Shaw."

She's thrown back on her heels.

"Not, the Jack Shaw?"

"Yes. Please help him."

"We'll do all we can for him. Now, come on, sugar."

Lincoln tells me, "Come on, you too." And I take a step or two with them, but then I remember.

"Linc, I'll be there in a few. I have to make a phone call."

"Ok."

They go. I pull out my phone and dial.

"Hello?" I hear.

"It’s me. I've found Jack."

 

˚˚˚˚˚

 

I glance at the time on my phone. It's about two hours since we arrived at the hospital, and Jack has been moved up in the building and settled in a regular room.

I sit in a chair, and the room is in semi-darkness. In this low light, the IV tubes and heart monitor wires glow in an eerie calm.

About 20 minutes ago, Linc lowered the guardrail on the right side of Jack's bed. He carefully lay down alongside of Jack, placed his arm over the sick boy, and now both of them are sleeping quietly.

Watching them, I can't help but wonder if it is too late or not. Maybe Jack will hate me, and hate Lincoln too, but we all just try to do what we think is best, and we should all be allowed the benefit of a fair and honest change of mind.

But with Jack, I've had a change of heart. And now I'm grateful, because intending to or not, Jack has pulled Lincoln into this as well.

My phone suddenly vibrates. The light noise stirs Linc, who lifts his head and looks around with bleary eyes.

It's a text message:

 

I'm lost inside this hospital. Come and get me!

 

I inhale and sigh, then lift myself up. Before I go, I place a hand on Lincoln's arm and stroke Jack's cheek.

Jack flutters his eyes.

"BRB," I whisper to Linc.

He nods, and I leave.

 

˚˚˚˚˚

 

I feel groggy, and there is something like an ill-defined pain in my left arm and hand.

In a flashing blindness, I open my eyes to see a bright fluorescent light above and behind my head. I glance to the side, and catch a fleeting glimpse of Dawn.

She has just touched my cheek, and is now leaving the limited field of my vision. In another moment, someone turns their head, which is close to mine, and Lincoln smiles at me.

"You feel ok?" he asks.

I take a deep breath and look down the length of my body. It’s covered with a thin hospital blanket, the kind I know and despise so well, but I also see my sexy Lincoln Oliver is stretched out next to me. That makes me smile, though it kinda hurts to grin.

My voice is dry and gruff. "Hey beautiful." I clear my throat. "Phew – I feel…I feel…"

"Ok. You're ok now."

"I'm in a hospital."

"Yup."

"How did I get here?"

"Me and Dawn brung you."

"You and Dawn. So, Dawn is really here – I thought that was a dream."

"Don’t be mad at her; don’t be mad at me either." His lips come down and brush mine. "Please don’t think we betrayed you, cuz, maybe it's unfair that you have all the say in the matter."

"Forgiven." I have to look away, but Linc's fingers come to my cheek and hold me to his gaze.

He asks, "You still love me?"

"Yes, Lincoln." I don’t want to cry.

"Then, can I kiss you?"

"Oh yes, anytime you want – my sexy beast."

Ok. I start to lose some liquid as my man kisses me; oh, I love him so much, how now can I die?

"Hey," I draw out my question, hoping the answer will be 'yes.' "You ever dream of spending a winter in Ohio, visiting hospitals, and such?"

Lincoln – my beautiful Lincoln Oliver – bites his quavering lip, and the bottom of his eyelids fill with a crescent of water; there they shimmer beneath the limpid calmness of his lapis-jade pools of wonder. "You know," he attempts a smile. "There's no place I would rather be."

After he kisses my tears away, he inhales and gives his head a quick shake. He stands up, and for a moment it looks like he wants to do the 'dumb-jock' thing and fist-punch the air with a shout, or do several victory laps around the room. But, instead, he blinks several times and adjusts the blankets on my bed.

"You warm enough?"

He helps me sit up when I make a motion to do so.

"I'm fine. Hey, is my – "

I can't finish my thought, because the door opens and in walks my mom, who pauses in the half-light. She waits in the center of the room, barely able to look in my direction. Dawn comes in next and closes the door.

'Shit,' I think.

Dawn provides introductions. "Mrs. Shaw, this is Lincoln Oliver. Linc, this is Jack's mother."

They shake hands, and it looks pretty awkward.

"Well," Lincoln stammers. "I guess we should leave you two alone for a while."

My mom puts a hand on his arm. Her tone is warm, saying, "No, stay. Dawn told me what you have done for him, and I guess you have as much right to stay as anyone. Both of you do."

Dawn and Linc go and stand by the door. My mom comes and sits on the bed near my right elbow.

I tell her, "Sorry I made you worry."

"You are not your father, Jack. You will make it. I know it."

There's nothing I can say.

"Do you believe me?" she asks.

"I don’t know, Mom. It's hard."

"Yes. Everything worth keeping in this life is hard to hold onto, but that's why we fight. Are you ready to fight, my darling boy?" She seems near tears.

"I don’t know if I'm gonna live, Mom."

She takes my hand.

"Jack, that was not the question I asked you. I asked you if you want to live; if you have something worth fighting for?"

She means Linc, of course she does, and it makes me cry. I nod my head real slow, and hold my mom's eyes.

She stands and touches my cheek. "Then fight for him, sweetie. Fight son for his love, because love is the only thing any of us ever really have to hold onto."

"Yes, Mom. I know that now. I'm gonna fight."

My mom is choked up, but dubious. "Do you mean it this time?"

I consider if indeed I am trying to offer up some phony-ass bullshit to either her to myself. The answer is clear. "No more half-ass lies, ok? I mean it. I'm gonna fight."

She calmly places the back of her hand on my forehead.

In a flood of emotion and images, I picture all of those beautiful things too lovely for words; the blessings of having life, and the will to be in the present moment.

"I love you, Mom."

"And I love you, my dear, sweet, Jack."

 

~

                      

The end...for now wink.png
The Jack and Lincoln story continues here: Destiny - a novel
 
 
Copyright © 2017 AC Benus; All Rights Reserved.
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Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 
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Chapter Comments

Wow...love sometimes gives us so many reasons to fight and sometimes only one. I'm so happy this ended this way, but I would love for this to not be the ending. I would like to know that Linc and Jack spent many years together.

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I really, really loved this story. It was a great ending, and very believable, I mean, you didn't try to end this story with a "miracle cure" to Jack disease. You just ended it with a glimpse of hope and with the knowledge that Jack is determined to fight his disease, to fight for a future with the man he loves, and that was, for me, a much better end to this beautiful story. BTW, I will love to read more about these characters, thankfully you just said it's "the end...for now", hehe.

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On 07/12/2014 12:52 PM, Gene63 said:
Wow...love sometimes gives us so many reasons to fight and sometimes only one. I'm so happy this ended this way, but I would love for this to not be the ending. I would like to know that Linc and Jack spent many years together.
The answer is yes...this is only the end of the story for now. Thank you for you encouragement.
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On 07/12/2014 01:10 PM, Quiet man said:
Great story. Look forward to more
Thank you for you encouragement.
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On 07/12/2014 02:01 PM, AndreDJ said:
I really, really loved this story. It was a great ending, and very believable, I mean, you didn't try to end this story with a "miracle cure" to Jack disease. You just ended it with a glimpse of hope and with the knowledge that Jack is determined to fight his disease, to fight for a future with the man he loves, and that was, for me, a much better end to this beautiful story. BTW, I will love to read more about these characters, thankfully you just said it's "the end...for now", hehe.
Thank you Andre for your encouragement.
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Really amazing, Al. I'll reflect and post in the thread, but I LOVE that you ended on the start of the medical, because that is what is emotionally relevant to this story. You wrote a really unusual and moving conflict. I love it.

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Really amazing, Al. I'll reflect and post in the thread, but I LOVE that you ended on the start of the medical, because that is what is emotionally relevant to this story. You wrote a really unusual and moving conflict. I love it.

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On 07/12/2014 07:54 PM, Irritable1 said:
Really amazing, Al. I'll reflect and post in the thread, but I LOVE that you ended on the start of the medical, because that is what is emotionally relevant to this story. You wrote a really unusual and moving conflict. I love it.
Thank you for all of your support. You must have liked chapter 20 so much that you managed to work in a second chapter review for it. I will continue to thank you on that one...
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On 07/12/2014 07:54 PM, Irritable1 said:
Really amazing, Al. I'll reflect and post in the thread, but I LOVE that you ended on the start of the medical, because that is what is emotionally relevant to this story. You wrote a really unusual and moving conflict. I love it.
...as i was saying, your support of this project has just been phenomenal. Thank you from the bottom of my heart <3
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On 07/13/2014 01:02 AM, impunity said:
I liked this story. Glad you didn't let Jack die. Looking forward to the sequel.
Thank you for your support. Any ideas on a one-word title, let me know ;)
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Wonderful! A great ending. Loved how Andre put it! I say Yes and Amen to his comments. Thanks, AC, for writing such a powerful and beautiful story. I loved it and have those characters in my heart - Jack/Sean, Linc, Dawn, Mrs Shaw, Dau. Don't want to leave it yet! Thank you so much for sharing this.

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On 07/30/2014 05:28 PM, Jaro_423 said:
Wonderful! A great ending. Loved how Andre put it! I say Yes and Amen to his comments. Thanks, AC, for writing such a powerful and beautiful story. I loved it and have those characters in my heart - Jack/Sean, Linc, Dawn, Mrs Shaw, Dau. Don't want to leave it yet! Thank you so much for sharing this.
Thank you for all of your kinds words and support. I feel blessed that this project seems to mean a great deal to those who read it.

 

All the best to you, and bless you.

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OMG..Thank you!!! He didn't die!!! I was prepared for the worst but yet I really wasn't. It may sound corny but you didn't just save Jack...you saved me too. I would have moped for days and even weeks if he had left Linc, Dawn, and his mom...and well..all of us. And there is going to be a sequel?!!! Fantastic. You asked for suggestions of a one word title...the one that came to mind instantly was...Salvation...the sequel will be about many things being saved...hopefully. :boy: Thank you for an amazing journey...even through all the fear, pain and angst...the beauty of romance shone through...kudos :worship:

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Wow...words actually do fail me! I discovered this after getting your conversation, and I literally read straight through without stopping--I couldn't find a spot I wanted to end it until the next day!

 

Alas, I am a wreck now...reading non-stop until nearly noon without sleeping the night before, being alternately smiling at some of the dialog and having my eyes fill with tears for what Jack was tormenting himself with; I actually did cry at the scene with Linc and Jack under the pier toward the end.

 

I so hope there is going to be a sequel...I am thoroughly entangled in their story, and want to see their future together!

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On 08/02/2014 09:28 AM, Headstall said:
OMG..Thank you!!! He didn't die!!! I was prepared for the worst but yet I really wasn't. It may sound corny but you didn't just save Jack...you saved me too. I would have moped for days and even weeks if he had left Linc, Dawn, and his mom...and well..all of us. And there is going to be a sequel?!!! Fantastic. You asked for suggestions of a one word title...the one that came to mind instantly was...Salvation...the sequel will be about many things being saved...hopefully. :boy: Thank you for an amazing journey...even through all the fear, pain and angst...the beauty of romance shone through...kudos :worship:
Since you wrote these kind words, we have had a little back and forth about the follow-up story. You have given me great feedback, and just today i jotted a one word (possible) title on a post-it note and stuck to my monitor. I won't tell you want it is, but it has three syllables and begins with a 'D' (no silly, not Dignity II, lol!)
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On 8/17/2014 at 8:52 AM, ColumbusGuy said:

Wow...words actually do fail me! I discovered this after getting your conversation, and I literally read straight through without stopping--I couldn't find a spot I wanted to end it until the next day!

Alas, I am a wreck now...reading non-stop until nearly noon without sleeping the night before, being alternately smiling at some of the dialog and having my eyes fill with tears for what Jack was tormenting himself with; I actually did cry at the scene with Linc and Jack under the pier toward the end.

I so hope there is going to be a sequel...I am thoroughly entangled in their story, and want to see their future together!

Thank you, ColumbusGuy. Yes, it is not a matter for speculation, but I feel I must write the follow-up.

I honestly did not create this book to use as a means for people to force themselves to stay awake for long stretches, but it seems to have that effect, lol! Thank you for reading it, and I hope you can come back to it at some point in the future to revisit the many sights and sounds of it, so to speak. Every time I crack into, I am sucked along, and by the end of posting it, it felt a relief to stop crying so much. You would think I would be prepared, but for moments like Dawn locking herself in the school john, or when the nurse calls Lincoln 'honey,' I can't seem to help welling up too.

Thank you for your support of this book. I really appreciate it.

Edited by AC Benus
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Like Headstall, Al... I too was expecting you to kill Jack off. Thank you so much for not, I look forward to the sequel.

 

Stephen

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Very interesting ending! Jack's journey to experience life and unleash his emotion didn't kill him. At least not yet. He has Lincoln to look to and maybe even his mother now. She was always there but he couldn't see her until the end.

One of the things I love about this story is moral outrage isn't entertained for the most part. Instead of picking certain things to be upset about, AC presents them as they are and his characters struggle as we do in real life. Dawn remains true until she can't. Jack does what he wants until his body fails him. Jack's mother keeps the faith. Even Jack's siblings are conveyed without real judgment, well mostly. The reader gets to create their own emotional responses.

I also love the writing which moves at a nice pace, clear, with enough description to paint the scenes. It's well balanced. I really enjoyed reading this pretty sad tale because it was written to give most of the characters a measure of dignity. Thank you for sharing it with us! :)

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On 08/29/2014 11:51 AM, Stephen ODonohue said:
Like Headstall, Al... I too was expecting you to kill Jack off. Thank you so much for not, I look forward to the sequel.

 

Stephen

Thank you, Stephen. Jack found something to live for, and is going to try and do just that.
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On 9/8/2014 at 4:35 PM, Cole Matthews said:

Very interesting ending! Jack's journey to experience life and unleash his emotion didn't kill him. At least not yet. He has Lincoln to look to and maybe even his mother now. She was always there but he couldn't see her until the end.

One of the things I love about this story is moral outrage isn't entertained for the most part. Instead of picking certain things to be upset about, AC presents them as they are and his characters struggle as we do in real life. Dawn remains true until she can't. Jack does what he wants until his body fails him. Jack's mother keeps the faith. Even Jack's siblings are conveyed without real judgment, well mostly. The reader gets to create their own emotional responses.

I also love the writing which moves at a nice pace, clear, with enough description to paint the scenes. It's well balanced. I really enjoyed reading this pretty sad tale because it was written to give most of the characters a measure of dignity. Thank you for sharing it with us! :)

Thank you, Cole, for a fantastic review! Your comments on balance and how you perceived I let the characters have room to breathe without being 'pronounced upon' was one of my biggest concerns for the book. Sometimes it felt like I was walking on a tightrope, but mostly I did just try and convey how I imagined these people would be in these circumstances.

I hope I can bring the same kind of balance to the follow-up book, which I have slightly more than halfway complete. But, it's hard, as I'm sure you know being the consummate creator of characters that you are.

Thanks again for all of your support and encouragement on Dignity. It means the world to me.

Edited by AC Benus
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What an end! He better get his game face on, because this will be the fight of his life. Literally.

 

Now I really want to read Destiny!

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On 6/25/2015 at 2:15 PM, Puppilull said:

What an end! He better get his game face on, because this will be the fight of his life. Literally.

 

Now I really want to read Destiny!

Thank you, Puppilull, for all of your amazing support and encouragement.

There is still a struggle ahead, but I hope you enjoy the journey about to unfold in Destiny.

Edited by AC Benus
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