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RIP - Comicality
    AC Benus
  • AC Benus
  • Author
  • 07/01/2016
  • 292 Words
  • 812 Views
  • 8 Comments
Poetry posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

My Twentieth Year - 23. all I have to say

Poem No. 48

 

I walk into my room the same as always

Set down my drawings too, just the same, I thought,

But I didn’t know a mystery lurked for me.

 

Something that was changed from all the other days,

Some subtle hidden thing, something not the part,

I accidentally walked by, but didn’t see.

 

I addressed my roommate: "How are you today?"

"Better than usual;" he's been ill you see,

Still I didn't see it. On my way I wanted to go.

 

Before I left though, before I could get away,

I needed a drawing; get it and I'd be free.

Bent down to get it, I saw it and said, "Oh."

 

A pair of black shoes. "Oh, are these yours,"

I said to my roommate. "No, I've never seen them before."

"If they're not your shoes, then why are they here, and whose?"

 

I could say no more about such strange occurrences;

A pair of black shoes visits my room, what a strange scene;

Not my shoes, not his shoes, we look and wonder who?

 

 

Postlude:

 

Yukio, my strange and subtle friend

who doesn't know how to pronounce 'lend'

but can read hearts and knows what they have to send.

 

 

 

Poem No. 49

 

This is a rhyming test, so don't sound the alarm

So do not be distressed, don’t sell the house and farm

 

I'm simply trying a scheme, to see what I can do

To think of something that's new, strange as that just might seem

 

So to begin I will, let's see…I'll start it this way…

This is a rhyming drill, and that's all I have to say.

Copyright © 2017 AC Benus; All Rights Reserved.
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Poetry posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 
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Chapter Comments

Mikiesboy

AC, 48 is an amusing mystery, who left shoes under your bed? I’ve read it a couple of times and it just makes me smile. Who left the black shoes? Will we ever know?
And 49, the rhyming exercise … is wonderful. I love to see the things we do to make ourselves better writers.
Wonderful AC, the both of them.

 

tim xo

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Parker Owens

I love the air of mystery in number 48; even. The postlude is enigmatic, and doesn't ell me the whole story. I can guess, of course, and that's part of the fun. But whose shoes? Perhaps an inspiration lies there. Number 49, by contrast is plainly fun, and claims nothing more. Thank you for each of these.

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skinnydragon

Your rhyming test was--the best!

 

Now, as to the mystery. If the room is a metaphor for himself, then the poet needs to decide whose shoes he will be walking in, and all the rest. But black? Not a nice thought.

 

Of course, I'm only thrashing around here, coming to naught. :)

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AC Benus
On 07/02/2016 07:24 AM, Mikiesboy said:

AC, 48 is an amusing mystery, who left shoes under your bed? I’ve read it a couple of times and it just makes me smile. Who left the black shoes? Will we ever know?

And 49, the rhyming exercise … is wonderful. I love to see the things we do to make ourselves better writers.

Wonderful AC, the both of them.

 

tim xo

Thank you, Tim. The 'culprit' is named in the Postlude. Yukio lived three doors down, and later on we even roomed together. He's a dear friend. He came for a visit that day and went back to him room in stocking feet. No big deal really, but this poem was the result.

 

I'm please No. 49 pleased you ;)

 

Thanks again!

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AC Benus
On 07/03/2016 02:32 AM, skinnydragon said:

Your rhyming test was--the best!

 

Now, as to the mystery. If the room is a metaphor for himself, then the poet needs to decide whose shoes he will be walking in, and all the rest. But black? Not a nice thought.

 

Of course, I'm only thrashing around here, coming to naught. :)

Thanks for your naught(y) thrashings ;)

 

I do wish I had a great reason-for-being for the shoe poem, but sometimes a loafer is just a loafer, Anna.

 

Love your review and support, Mr. D.

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AC Benus
On 07/03/2016 12:53 AM, Parker Owens said:

I love the air of mystery in number 48; even. The postlude is enigmatic, and doesn't ell me the whole story. I can guess, of course, and that's part of the fun. But whose shoes? Perhaps an inspiration lies there. Number 49, by contrast is plainly fun, and claims nothing more. Thank you for each of these.

Thank you, Parker. It's always great to get insight through reviews. Your comments on No. 48 are met with pleasure and gratitude. The ones on No. 49, with a total smile.

 

Thank you once again!

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northie

I get absolutely the feeling you have when something has changed but you can't put your finger on what it is. I find it niggles away at me until I can satisfy myself as to what has happened. For it to be an unknown item would spook me out!

 


I just loved the rhyming test - I think I've spotted all of them ... :)

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AC Benus
On 07/06/2016 05:19 AM, northie said:

I get absolutely the feeling you have when something has changed but you can't put your finger on what it is. I find it niggles away at me until I can satisfy myself as to what has happened. For it to be an unknown item would spook me out!

 

 

I just loved the rhyming test - I think I've spotted all of them ... :)

Oh, you used the rhyme-spotting eye chart…. Glad your poetic vision is 20/20 ;)

 

Thanks for a great review, and for supporting my work. I appreciate it a great deal.

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