Paul and Juan are off for a romantic honeymoon in the mountains. What could possibly go wrong?
I’m getting old. There is no denying it.
That thought kept running through my head as I went about my business almost on automatic. Why would anyone in their right mind come out here to the middle of nowhere for their honeymoon? People have no common sense sometimes.
“Excuse me, Sir? Um, will this take much longer?”
I looked at the kid. Yeah, he was a kid. I bet he didn’t even shave every day. Hell my jockstrap was probably older than he was.
“Sorry kid, I’ll have your truck onto the flatbed in a minute. Why don’t you join your partner in the cab. The heat is on and at least you won’t have to freeze your ass off out here.”
Ever since the state allowed them the chance to marry you would think that someone would stop and think. I mean hell if the straight kids aren’t eloping left and right, now you got the gays doing it too. I just thought with two guys one of them might have thought a bit clearer. Guess everyone is stupid when they fall in love.
I looked up at the dark headed guy who sat looking out the window nervously at me. I guess I was the one making him nervous. I’m six foot tall, look like a refrigerator, and carry the weight of one. Don’t be mistaken, I have plenty of muscle but I also have a nice layer of fat which helps keep me warm when it is cold and beginning to snow like it is today. Silly boys thinking they could come up here to the mountains in a broken down old truck in December to honeymoon in a cabin. Who rented a place to these kids? I swear people need to have their heads examined.
“I’ll be there in a minute. Close the door, hun, you’re letting all the heat out.” Paul sounded strained as he looked toward the open door.
The dark headed guy pouted but closed the door.
Their truck slid into place on my flat bed and I began sliding everything into place to make sure the damn thing wouldn’t move.
“I’m sorry for this. I’m sure you would rather be someplace warm instead of coming out here to drag us out of the ditch.”
I looked at Paul as he stood there shivering. At least I knew his name, but I just shook my head thinking for a moment. I have a tendency to just shoot my mouth off and I did it again.
“How in the hell did you end up so far off the road? I mean I know it is beginning to snow and ice here, but I can see the skid marks. Why did you weave all over like that?”
Paul looked down and blushed like virgin about to be deflowered. I had to bite the inside of my mouth to keep from laughing, especially since the dark headed guy let it slip they were on their way to their honeymoon.
“Well, Juan was driving. He was razzing me about the stripper that was at our joint bachelor party. The guy was cute and all, but he kept watching me to see if he was getting to me and …”
He got quiet and I thought for a second these two were really stupid and tried to have sex while they were driving. I was grateful that they didn’t wrap themselves around a tree. Then I noticed how quiet Paul had gotten.
“Well he turned to look at me and I spotted the Elk making its way into the road and screamed.”
I watched as he started to shake again. I thought at first it was due to the cold and snow, but now I was afraid the kid was going into shock.
“Look, Paul, in the cab behind the seat is a blanket. Go get in there with your guy and wrap yourself in it. Keep yourselves warm. Stupid operator should have had the cops or ambulance come out to check on you two. I know it is your honeymoon boy, but I’m going to drop you two at Dr. Sheriden’s. She is the local quack and she’ll take a look at both of you. My garage is just two doors down from her office, which is also located in the front of her house. Nancy Sheridan is always pretty much on call for an emergency.”
Paul looked up surprised. Guess he thought I was going to bash him but he was looking paler by the moment. I pushed him toward the cab’s door and finished up as quickly as I could. This wasn’t how I wanted to spend my night, but I’d rather see them taken care of and off on their honeymoon than have had to deal with dragging the truck out with their two dead bodies in it. Sometimes God favors the fools and idiots. I know that is what I consider anyone driving up here when a storm is coming, honeymoon or not.
So this was the original prompt.
Use the following words in a story: honeymoon, stripper, elk, broken down truck, and a jock strap.
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