Chapter 16 – He Knows
He knows! How the fuck does he know?
The hot water cascading down from the shower onto my body was supposed to soothe out all of my tension and make me feel better. Yet I couldn’t let go of the ball of anxiety roiling inside me. Couldn’t stop myself from panicking at what Dean had said.
How the fuck had he found out? And even worse, what was he going to do now that he knew?
I knew that it was about high time I got out of the shower; after all I couldn’t hide in here all day. The hot water was to surely run out soon. But the idea of what stood facing me out there was just too terrifying for me to leave the comfort of solitude that the bathroom provided.
I sighed as I finally turned off the water. Stepping out onto the cold marble floor sent a shiver racing through my body. I quickly dried myself with the big fluffy towel I had found sitting on the counter before wrapping it around my waist. Then I stared at the closed bathroom door, trying to gather up the courage to step outside.
C’mon Davey, you can do this!
Taking a deep breath I unlocked the door and stepped out into Dean’s bedroom only to find it empty. Dean was nowhere in sight, but what greeted me was a pile of clothes laid out on the bed. I stared at the clothes, more than a little uncomfortable with the thought of having to wear Dean’s clothes. Dean wasn’t a lover, or even my friend whose clothes I would not hesitate to wear. No, Dean was not my friend. Hell, the best word that I could think of to describe our relationships would be enemies, even if it was Dean’s fault that we had gone down that road.
I heard the doorbell ring, probably indicating the food Dean had ordered had arrived. Time was running out and I had to make a move. Letting out a shaky breath, my nerves once again on edge, I picked up the clothes.
After putting on the sweats that were a few inches too long and had to be tied tightly to keep them from sliding off of my slim hips and the shirt that hung loosely on my frame, I found myself at a loss of what to do next.
I really, really didn’t want to leave the room to go find Dean. But I didn’t want to remain trapped in his bedroom or have him come look for me either. I was mortified enough regarding my behavior of last night, but coupling that with the fact that Dean had seen me naked, I was more than ready to die in shame.
I didn’t know what awaited my fate out there, but it was probably better to get it over and done with.
Like ripping off a band aid, I thought. Better to do it quickly than prolong the pain.
Exiting the bedroom, I found myself entering a large hallway that opened up to the rest of the condo. Dean’s place was huge, and the view out of the large floor to ceiling windows was just breathtaking. But regardless of the view, and the very expensive furniture and decorations, Dean’s place failed to give the feeling of a home. Unlike Tyler’s house that had exhibited so much warmth and welcome, Dean’s condo had a cool and detached feel.
I finally found Dean sitting at the kitchen table. He had obviously dressed while I was in the shower because he was wearing a pair of black slacks and a midnight blue shirt. Seeing him dressed so impeccably made me even more self-conscious about my own haggard appearance. I had seen the dark circles beneath my eyes, and surely the loose fitting clothes only made it worse.
I stood awkwardly in the doorway, waiting for Dean’s acknowledgement. When none was forthcoming and Dean continued to ignore me, I hesitantly approached the table.
An empty plate had been set out in front of the seat across from him and a spread of food laid out in the middle. Dean had already started eating as he read the morning newspaper.
“Sit,” said Dean, still not looking up from the newspaper.
I nervously complied and sat down, then once again waited for what was to come with baited breath.
“Eat,” Dean added.
I looked at the food. No matter how good it may have looked, my stomach was churning unpleasantly, my mind roiling in anxiety. I knew I wouldn’t be able to eat anything, and even if I tried, it wouldn’t stay down for long.
When I failed to make a move, Dean repeated it again more forcefully.
My nerves were so strung out that I actually jumped in my seat. With a shaking hand I reached for the food. Bypassing the eggs, bacon, and other assortment of goods, I settled on a slice of toast. Though all of the food looked delicious, my nerves combined with the hangover were making it difficult to have an appetite.
I nibbled on the toast half-heartedly as the silence seemed to stretch on. Dean ate his whole meal while I barely managed to even finish half of mine. After Dean finished eating, he used a napkin to wipe his mouth before folding the newspaper and leaning back in his chair. His arctic blue eyes now stared at me, assessing me with their coolness.
No longer able to take another bite, I abandoned my toast and pushed my plate forward. I warily stared back at Dean, waiting for what he was going to say.
When the silence seemed to stretch on for ages, I finally spoke up.
“How did you find out?”
It was a moment before Dean replied.
“I advise that you probably shouldn’t drink too much if you have no control of what comes out of your mouth afterwards.”
I stared at Dean in disbelief. That’s how he found out? Because I couldn’t keep my big mouth shut when drunk? Ah fuck!
I wanted to slap myself for my stupidity, for being so careless. Now I was going to lose my job if Dean decided to share my secret with the rest of the office…and Tyler.
Oh my god, Tyler.
My heart constricted as I suddenly remembered what had landed me in this situation the first place. Tyler was in love with someone else. He would never be mine. I couldn’t help the tears forming in my eyes. It hurt so much to know that my feelings would never be returned.
Remembering Dean’s presence, I quickly looked up and found him staring at me with a speculative look in his eyes.
Crap! I hope he didn’t see my tears.
I waited for Dean to say something, but when he remained silent, I once again took the plunge.
“What exactly did I say?” I asked him, cringing at how stupid my question sounded.
Dean must have found it amusing because a smirk spread over his face. “Oh just something about hating a guy named Rick, I believe, for his stupid bet to make you dress up all ugly-like. How it had made your life so difficult.”
I frowned at that. Surely Dean couldn’t have made a connection from that comment alone to the fact that I was David. I must have blabbed out even more, but just how much was the question.
“Then you went on to mention how everyone in the world was against you. Including some kind of “vulture bitch” and some “evil dragon” called Dean Smith at your work place.”
I gaped in shock. No I couldn’t have! Fuck, fuck, fuck! I squeezed my eyes shut as I silently berated myself. I’m never getting drunk again!
Yet as I scolded myself, I was also surprised and more than relieved that Dean had made no mention of Tyler. I would have thought that since Tyler was the reason behind my intoxicated state, I might have mentioned him at one point or another last night. But Dean didn’t seem to have any idea about that. I was thankful for this tiny bit of luck because I didn’t think I could stand it if Dean mocked my feelings for Tyler.
“S-so that’s how you find out?”
“Found out? No. Confirmed? Yes,” Dean shrugged as he folded his arms across his chest.
“Huh?” I asked, at a loss. “What do you mean by that?”
Dean placed his elbows on the table, and rested his chin on his clasped hands as he stared at me with eyes shimmering in wicked amusement.
“Let’s just say that I knew something was off with you whenever I saw you at the office, but it wasn’t until that scene in the elevator when realized what it was.”
“What are you talking about?”
Dean let out a chuckle. “While you may have succeeded in fooling everyone else with your pathetic disguise, I saw right past it. It takes much more than a stupid attempt at faking acne to fool me.”
“Wait,” I interjected. “If you knew all along that I was faking it, then why all the rants about me ruining the firm’s reputation with my appearance.”
“Because,” Dean replied coolly, “regardless of whether it was a prank or not, you still endangered the prestigious reputation of our firm. You lied to the company and for that you should be fired.”
I closed my eyes in defeat, knowing that it was all over now. Dean was surely going to report me first thing tomorrow. Not only would I be out of a job, I could kiss any of the friendships that I had formed at the office goodbye. Everyone would hate me—I just knew it. I could already see the betrayal that would without a doubt be visible in their eyes.
Then there was Tyler. How would he feel about my lie? No matter how much it hurt, I had accepted the fact that Tyler and I would never be together as a couple. The most I could aim for was for us to become great friends. But if Dean told everyone my secret that would never happen. Tyler would no longer want anything to do with me.
“What do you want me to do now?” I asked, resigned to the fact that Dean held my fate in his hands.
“I want what I’ve always wanted. You to leave the firm by the end of the month.”
“What?” I exclaimed, sitting straight up in my chair. “No! That’s impossible. There’s no way I can find another job at such a short notice, and unlike you some people have to work hard to survive!”
I waved my hand around his huge condo. “Not everyone can afford a life like this. I have to work hard to pay my rent and stuff. There’s no way I’m going to up and quit just because you fucking tell me to!”
Dean’s eyes narrowed as he looked at me. His voice was cold steel when he spoke. “If you think I bloody give a shit about your needs and concerns, then you’re gravely mistaken. You should have thought about the consequences of your stupid prank before you started.”
“But why should it even matter!” I couldn’t help my voice from rising. I got up from my chair, putting my hands on the table as I leaned over it. I let Dean feel the full force of my anger.
“My work hasn’t suffered in any way! You can even ask Tyler to confirm it. I know I have been an excellent employee. So then why should the way I look even matter?”
“It should matter,” Dean all but growled as he too got up out of his seat. “Because that is not the image we want to project for our clients. We are a prestigious firm. One of, if not the best in all of Canada and we have the potential to grow into one of the top firms of North America. Someone like you will bring nothing but harm to it. Even if you stop dressing like a pathetic idiot, you still put the company at risk. You cannot be trusted!”
My temper had reached its boiling point. I was quivering under its full force. “What gives you the right to judge me? Do you think I don’t know about you?”
I started to stalk closer to Dean, similar to the way in which he had done to me earlier.
“I know about you,” I said in a low but firm voice. “I know what you were like in your past.”
Dean’s expression did not change, but I did see a flicker of wariness in his eyes.
That flicker gave me courage as I continued to walk towards him.
“I’ve seen the picture of you in your teenage years.”
There was the spark again; this time it was a knowing one. Oh yeah, Dean knew exactly what I was referring to.
“Why don’t you explain that, huh? If you’re so against ugly people joining the firm, then where does that put you? Weren’t you once ugly yourself?”
“That is none of your business.” Dean tried to brush it off, but his expression was tight.
I had struck a nerve.
“Why? Hmm?” I asked innocently, mocking him. I was now standing in front of him. Reaching up to brush off an imaginary piece of lint from his shirt, I continued with my questions. “You and Tyler looked pretty chummy in that picture, yet from what I’ve heard around the office, everyone seems to think that you to hate his guts. So what happened Dean?”
Dean let out a warning growl that I should shut up, but I was on a roll now.
“That’s why you saw through my pathetic acne disguise, because you’ve suffered the real deal. Isn’t it? So what went wrong Dean? Did Tyler not love you because you were ugly? Is that why you hated how I was dressed?”
“Shut the bloody fuck up,” Dean warned.
“No! Why should I after all the times I’ve had to suffer through your rants? You can’t make me shut up!” My voice rose again.
“Oh yes I bloody can!” Dean shouted.
With that I once again found myself in a similar situation as earlier today. Dean’s lips were on mine in another hard and almost painful kiss. But unlike before where I hadn’t responded, this time I gave back as good as I got. The kiss was anything but gentle, both of us dueling to force the other into submission.
Using his bigger build, Dean pushed me so that the edge of the table was digging into my back. In retaliation, I grabbed at his hair, our lips still locked as one. I must have pulled Dean’s hair a little to hard, because he winced before letting out a growl. His hands slid up beneath my loose shirt and the next thing I knew he was pinching my nipples. It was now my turn to growl as my body flared up at his touch. I was already painfully hard and so was Dean if the length pushing into my thigh was any indication.
When Dean’s hand slid lower to cup by balls through the sweatpants, I couldn’t help the moan from escaping my lips. The surprise of his touch also made me lose my balance, causing me to fall back onto the table. My firm grip on Dean’s hair ensured that he went down with me if he wanted to avoid getting his hair ripped out from his scalp.
I could feel something mushy beneath me as I lay partly on the table with Dean on top. Probably the eggs, I thought but not being able to care less as Dean continued his assault on my mouth and the torture with his hands.
Dean pulled back from the kiss, but continued to rub my length through my pants. Another moan escaped me and I saw Dean smirk down at me at its sound.
Fuck! Thinks he’s winning doesn’t he? Well hell if I’m gonna let that happen!
Letting go of Dean’s hair, I grabbed a hold of his shirt collar and ripped it open. The buttons of his shirt went flying everywhere as the shirt opened up to reveal Dean’s toned chest covered in a smattering of black hair. Leaning up on my elbows, I ran my tongue across his collarbone and up his neck to bite at his jaw.
Dean’s breath hitched and it was my turn to smirk at him. Reaching down between us, I tried to open up his belt to unleash his cock. Not one to be left behind, Dean also grabbed the waist of my sweats and pushed it down to free my hard length. When both of us were free from the confinement of our pants, Dean took a hold of both our cocks in his hand. Then he began to stroke. Neither of us could stop from groaning.
I once again tangled my fingers in Dean’s hair as he picked up the pace. My hips thrust upwards into Dean’s hand with every stroke. I could feel my cock leaking steadily.
Soon I was gasping for breath, the familiar tingle of impending orgasm beginning in my balls. Dean once again covered my mouth in a hard kiss as he too started panting. Both of us were on the verge of coming.
A part of my brain registered that I needed to stop—that the aftermath was only going to make my life more difficult. But I was already too far-gone to do anything about it.
Suddenly it was all too much and I couldn’t hold back any longer. I let out a loud groan as I came hard all over Dean’s hand. Seconds later Dean let out a growl as he buried his face in the crook of my neck and also let go. Hot splashes of cum shot out onto my stomach where my shirt had ridden up. Then Dean collapsed on top of me, both of us utterly spent.
When I finally regained my senses, I froze in shock as I realized just what we had done. Dean must have felt me tense, because he pulled back from me before flopping into the chair next to the table.
Judging by the shocked expression on Dean’s face, he hadn’t expected things to go this far either. We stared at each other as an awkward silence took hold, broken only by the sound of our labored breaths.
“Fuck!” I muttered as the full impact of just what I had done hit me. Not only had I just gotten off with the man I considered to be my enemy, but I also felt as though I had betrayed my feelings for Tyler. The tears that I had managed to hold in since Tyler had made his announcement came rushing forth.
Getting off the table and pulling on my pants, I stared down at my feet—unable to look into Dean’s eyes as tears flowed out of mine.
I heard Dean cough before he spoke in a strained voice. “Look Dave…I didn’t…”
But I wasn’t listening. It felt as though the blood that had rushed to my cock was now rushing into my head as it started pounding. I felt sick thinking about what I had just done.
I needed to get out of here, now. So I ran. Not even stopping when Dean called out behind me. When I made it to the door, I was lucky enough to find my car keys sitting on a small table next to it, and my shoes on the floor. Picking them both up, I ran out of the door and slammed it shut behind me. Not stopping to put on my shoes until I was safely in the elevator.
I could hardly care about anything else that I may have left behind or the food stuck to the back of my shirt as I left Dean’s condo. Not even bothering to consider how my car had gotten here from the bar when I found it parked outside of the building. The details didn’t matter; I just needed to get as far as possible from Dean.
As I drove away, I couldn’t stop the sobs from racking my body. I was ashamed at myself for what I had allowed myself to do in anger. I was ashamed that I had let that anger cloud my judgment. But most of all, I was ashamed that I had cheated on my feelings for Tyler.
I had never hated myself more than at that moment.
To be continued…