Shadow of my Father 4. Jacob Sagas

ok, confussed here, i am only seeing #1 and #4 of Jacob Sagas, Carrie posted something about your homepage, can you tell me how to find the missing books so i can read them before reading #4, thanks if you can help me.

On 01/29/2013 09:09 AM, ShadowDancer said:

ok, confussed here, i am only seeing #1 and #4 of Jacob Sagas, Carrie posted something about your homepage, can you tell me how to find the missing books so i can read them before reading #4, thanks if you can help me.

There are four books in the Jacob serious. Book four, 'Shadow of My Father wasn't originally going to be in the Jacob saga, but as the story developed and they were in the same school and city at the same time it landed up sharing the same characters and plots. The first 30 or so chapter of this saga, 'Shadow of My Father' you can read without having to read the first three books. Pay attention to the writer's corners at the end of each chapter because there is where you will find out what other chapters in the nooks you will need to read in order not to get lost in this saga. I hope I was able to clear things up. If not let me know.

OK, I've read the 12 chapters present so far, and I've thought quite a bit about whether to write a review or not. I noticed that very few people have commented, and this may be for the same reason that I'm hesitating. You've really made a great effort to write a dramatic and interesting story, so I want to say something nice, but unfortunately there are some major problems with this tale.

I like the concept and the characters and the issues, so full credit for that. And especially that you made the mother the main problem, rather than the father.

I can skim past and ignore all the silly bits about Brit royalty, so never mind that those soap parts detract from the whole.

I understand why you want the drama of Chris being badly hurt and in a coma, so he has to be saved by Josh. And that you subsequently wanted Chris to get back to the Coach's house fast, so the story could continue. So I just pretend not to notice that he would have been dead, if the accident had really happened the way you describe. And that he would have needed a long period of recovery and physiotherapy and other treatment in the hospital, if he had really been so badly injured. The willing suspension of disbelief you know...

Lots of other unrealistic stuff is also easy to shrug off - like the fact that Josh would never be able to perform on the piano after just a few weeks of learning. Or that Liz doesn't catch on after Heather talks of being dumped by her gay boyfriend. Or that you just have those Frank and Patrick episodes to give us some hot sex scenes, but never make the two boys real for us in other ways. Or that the older brothers would really be so irresponsible as to have a mock fight just there and then, so they knock over the ladder. Such things are just minor irritants. As is the last cliff hanger you left us with in chapter 12 - why do you think you need such silly nonsense, the story is intense enough without resorting to tactics like that. Comes across like another bad soap, I'm sorry to say.

No the main problem I have with this story is about the dialogue. A lot of the time it consists of very artificial, idealistic, pompous speeches, rather than something you can actually believe that people (especially teens) would say. I appreciate that you want the characters to make statements that will show their integrity or honesty or whatever, and get your message across. But the more I read of this story, the more annoyed I get about this matter. And I'm almost to the point, where I cannot bother to follow the story any more, as much as I want to know what happens.

I realize there is not much you can do about it, since the story is already written (as far as I understand), but hopefully you'll be able to use my criticism in a constructive way in future stories. But if nothing else I got to rant about it, so now I feel better :-)

Good luck with your writing

On 04/16/2013 05:09 PM, Timothy M. said:

OK, I've read the 12 chapters present so far, and I've thought quite a bit about whether to write a review or not. I noticed that very few people have commented, and this may be for the same reason that I'm hesitating. You've really made a great effort to write a dramatic and interesting story, so I want to say something nice, but unfortunately there are some major problems with this tale.

I like the concept and the characters and the issues, so full credit for that. Ad especially that you made the mother the main problem, rather than the father.

I can skim past and ignore all the silly bits about Brit royalty, so never mind that those soap parts detract from the whole.

I understand why you want the drama of Chris being badly hurt and in a coma, so he has to be saved by Josh. Snd that you subsequently wanted Chris to get back to the Coach's house fast, so the story could continue. So I just pretend not to notice that he would have been dead, if the accident had really happened the way you describe. And that he would have needed a long period of recovery and physiotherapy and other treatment in the hospital, if he had really been so badly injured. The willing suspension of disbelief you know...

Lots of other unrealistic stuff is also easy to shrug off - like the fact that Josh would never be able to perform on the piano after just a few fews of learning. Or that Liz doesn't catch on after Heather talks of being dumped by her gay boyfriend. Or that you just have those Frank and Patrick episodes to give us some hot sex scenes, but never make the two boys real for us in other ways. Or that the older brothers would really be so irresponsible as to have a mock fight just there and then, so they knock over the ladder. Such things are just minor irritants. As is the last cliff hanger you left us with in chapter 12 - why do you think you need such silly nonsense, the story is intense enough without resorting to tactis like that. Comes across like another bad soap, I'm sorry to say.

No the main problem I have with this story is about the dialogue. A lot of the time it consists of very artificial, idealistic, pompous speeches, rather than something you can actually believe that people (especially teens) would say. I appreciate that you want the characters to make statements that will show their integrity or honesty or whatever, and get your message across. But the more I read of this story, the more annoyed I get about this matter. And I'm almost to the point, where I cannot bother to folow the story any more, as much as I want to know what happens.

I realize there is not much you can do about it, since the story is already written (as far as I understand), but hopefully you'll be able to use my criticism in a constructive way in future stories. But if nothing else I got to rant about it, so now I feel better :-)

Good luck with your writing

Sorry for such a late response to your long spilled out comment about the way i write a story. One thing you have forgotten through it all is that it is a fictional story. I know better that more than half of what I write into my stories aren't believable or can't happen in real life. I watch a lot of television I mean a lot. Right now I am re-watching Greys Anatomy and let me tell you I am yelling at the television every night on how unbelievable the plot lines are. And that is not the only serious I do that to. Every serious does and puts things in their shows to create drama in order to bring back their viewers. I create drama in my stories to bring back my readers week after week. Just keep in mind Jacob Finding His Way is based off of my life but when you sit down and read you you have to realize the things I put my characters through, like in this story, is not believable but they are there for drama and nothing more than that. That is why I state time in and time again my stories are fictional. Thank you for your comment but please keep that in mind on what I just said.

Thank you,

J.P.G.

@zandra d Jacob has or had a website and I didn't knw about it can u have. The name. Pless

I don't know why this has been put up on this site as I was following it on Jacobmillertex and it was not finished. Nothing ever was put up on tha site saying anything about what was happening with this and other stories,would be great to know what s happening with any continuation.

After the author's mother died, he restarted college and slowly stopped posting. I have no other information or insight to the author's thinking. However, he himself posted both of his stories here as well BEFORE he stopped posting altogether.