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Be Myself! * * * * - 10 Ratings


Most people, at some point, meet someone who brings a complete change to their lives and makes a huge mess. Usually it is their true love, and they never part. But sometimes this person just vanishes, the only trace of their existence being the trail of destruction and reconstruction they have left behind. Oscar met that someone in the school's toilet. This is how it turned out.
Copyright © 2011 James Hiwatari; All Rights Reserved.

Table of Contents

  1. Prologue 0 reviews, 1,200 words,
  1. Trouble 4 reviews, 2,416 words,

    Ugh, how long as it been? Oh, well, new chapter finally on! And another 3 or 4 may follow soon! 


  2. School Circus 2 reviews, 3,129 words,

    After a much shorter wait than last time, here it is! 

    Oscar now has to deal with the social consequences of what he and Jean did. Might not be pretty. Might not be so bad. 

  3. Odd Friendships 2 reviews, 3,951 words,

    Edited to the best of my ability. Feel free to point out mistakes. 

    Contains some revelations about Jean's past that might unsettle some people. 

  4. My New Girlfriend 2 reviews, 3,949 words,

    Edited to the best of my ability. Please feel free to point any mistakes. 

  5. Lions Do It Too 1 reviews, 3,808 words,

    Edited to the best of my ability. As the chapter's title says, it contains mentions of animals "doing it". 

  6. Looking for Answers 2 reviews, 2,318 words,

    Edited to best of my ability. I did the same research Oscar did in order to write that chapter. Results were true at the time of writing, which was a couple of months ago.

  7. Boys Don't Cry 1 reviews, 2,850 words,


    Edited to the best of my ability. Sorry for the late update!

  8. Multicultural Salad 2 reviews, 3,423 words,

    Edited to the best of my ability. Warnings this time go for Oscar's parents making an appearance again. 

  9. Slap, Slap, Kiss 2 reviews, 4,248 words,

    Edited to the best of my ability and still on schedule! :)

  10. Drifting 2 reviews, 4,718 words,

    Edited to the best of my ability. Warning: Jean gets a bit creepier than usual. Minor incidents that could be read as attempt sexual assault. More homophobic bullying. Henry's situation gets on a downhill spiral.

  11. Camping 2 reviews, 4,542 words,

    WARNING: Implied child abuse towards the end of the chapter.

    Edited to the best of my ability. Corrections and constructive criticism are welcome. =P

  12. Bad Sex 2 reviews, 4,479 words,

    Edited to the best of my ability. As the chapter title implies, it contains scenes of a somewhat graphic nature. However, as the chapter title also implies, this is not necessarily a good thing. 

    TW: Some bits of the third and second scenes of the chapter heavily imply child sexual abused occurred to a certain character in the past. If you would rather skip those scenes, the Chapter End Note has a summary of the scene's content.

  13. Good Sex 1 reviews, 3,962 words,

    Edited to the best of my ability.

    Oscar and Olivia are at it again. Sorry if it's not what the kind of thing you enjoy the most, but it definitely has a reason for being there. I promise. ;)

  14. Reality Shock 2 reviews, 4,786 words,

    Edited to the best of my ability.

    Warning: Homophobic violence. Someone got seriously hurt and it's all Jean's fault.

  15. Henry's Long Journey 2 reviews, 4,260 words,

    Edited to the best of my ability. May contain more typos than usual because I only managed to finish writing it this morning.

    WARNINGS: details of Henry's injuries and how they happened. Oscar is triggered by it and we finally learn what happened between him and his father at the end of Chapter 02. (The beginning and end of these particular bits will be marked by sentences in bold. Don't read anything between them if you would rather skip those parts)

  16. Spanish Evening 2 reviews, 4,292 words,

    Edited to the best of my ability.

    Oscar spends some time with Olivia's family. There's about a mind-blow per page for the poor guy.

    And we get a little introduction of what will be the main theme after chapter 20... 

  17. Prelude 1 reviews, 2,901 words,

    Thanks Lisa for the editing! :)

    It's exam time and everyone is buried knee-deep in revisions. It's so much tension they can't even keep their tempers in check. 

    The title might as well read "Prelude to Disaster", but I don't want to doom this story before I absolutely have to... ;)

  18. Play Time 2 reviews, 4,855 words,

    WARNING: contain hints of child sexual abuse. Though this time around it's not so much a hint as an anvil figuratively (and painfully) dropping on your foot. As per usual, a safer summary can be found on the end notes.

    Thanks Lisa for the awesome editing! wink.png

  19. It's a Guy Thing 2 reviews, 4,732 words,

    Thanks Lisa for the painstaking editing job! :)

    We're now approaching the end of the first major story arch. 

    This may or may not be related to this unexpectedly early update. ;)

  20. One Long Summer 2 reviews, 7,040 words,

    Thanks Lisa for the editing!

    Back after another huge hiatus... At least the chapter is almost twice as long as the usual to compensate.

    Part 1 is now officially over. Part 2 is a lot more exciting for me to write, so hopefully the writer's block has gone for good.

    WARNING: More of Oscar's monstrous father and creepy revelations about Jean's past.

    Enjoy! :)

  21. It's (Not) About Your Urethra 1 reviews, 2,771 words,

    Thanks Lisa for the editing!

    We are now in Part 2. Expect to meet some cool new characters and learn about gender in a rather unexpected way. :)



  22. Luce's Aria 1 reviews, 4,680 words,

    A huge thanks to Lisa for the editing. :)

    This is definitely one of my favourite chapters. I could say more, but if I start on the topic, this bit will be longer than the chapter itself.

    So just enjoy! 

  23. Peeking Out of the Gender Closet 1 reviews, 2,760 words,

    Thanks Lisa for the editing! :)

    And now we get to see a bit more of Oli's feelings and why the last chapter ended the way it did. 

    It's my favourite chapter so far, I hope you enjoy it!

  24. Identity Crisis 1 reviews, 2,078 words,

    Thanks Lisa for the editing! :)

    Sorry for the late update. I am on holidays at the moment, and didn't have internet during the weekend. And because I'm on holidays I don't have as much time to write, so this chapter is a bit short. 

    Hope you enjoy it.

  25. Parental Advice 1 reviews, 3,546 words,

    Thanks Lisa for the editing. :)

    Now Oscar has to talk about sex and being bisexual to Oli's parents. Oh, the embarrassment...

    And then he and Oli get into a rather 'sticky' mess when they try to add variety to their sexual life. This might be a warning. 

  26. Friendly Advice 1 reviews, 3,038 words,

    Thanks Lisa for the editing!

    This chapter was written on my transatlantic flight back home, hence the delay in posting. Sorry about that.

    Once my life gets back to normal I'll reply to reviews.

    Warning: cissexism and transphobia. If you don't know what those things are, you'll learn soon enough. :)

  27. My Prince Wears a Skirt 1 reviews, 5,985 words,

    Thanks Lisa for the editing!

    Sorry for the long hiatus. This is a special extra update, meaning that there will be another chapter coming up next Sunday!

    The story is back, and now we see more of Charlie and Luce as we prepare for Oli's big coming out to his family. 


  28. The Fall of Olivia 1 reviews, 3,361 words,

    Sorry for the slight delay. It's 23:30 here, so technically still Sunday! 

    Thanks Lisa for the editing! :)

    Oli finally comes out to his parents. There really isn't much else I can say here without spoiling the whole chapter, so please carry on reading!

  29. Flying Pizzas, Flying Fists 1 reviews, 4,222 words,

    WARNING: Homophobic violence, homophobia, and Jean's past

    Thanks Lisa for the editing!

    The last of the main characters is finally introduced - though that should be a warning in itself... 


  30. Transition in Tears 1 reviews, 5,425 words,

    Thanks Lisa for the editing! :)

    First chapter of the year, though it actually takes place in late August. Prepare for references to summer and how Scotland rarely sees any of it. 

    WARNING: flashbacks about Oscar's father, implied transphobia and homophobia.

  31. Binding Truth 1 reviews, 4,050 words,

    Thanks Lisa for the editing! :)

    Now that Oliver has been cleared to come out at school, he takes his first steps towards transition. Not everything is good news, but at least it's something. 

  32. Games & Gambles 1 reviews, 5,942 words,

    Thanks Lisa for the editing! :)

    The chapter is just slightly late because yesterday I spent the whole day away from home and didn't have any brain cells left do post it when I got back.

    Following the trend of creepy shops (see MaruMonzterz 002 for more details), this time it's Oscar's group who comes across an interesting commercial establishment.  

  33. Eight Legs of Wonder 1 reviews, 8,860 words,

    Thanks Lisa for the very quick editing! I don't know what I would do without you. :)

    Warning: transphobia, misgendering, and more hints of Jean's past.

    In which Oliver gets a binder, and we visit the second creepy shop in Harmony Street. Even Jean is freaked out. That is probably a warning too. 

  34. Of Curses and Apple Pies 1 reviews, 5,344 words,

    Thanks Lisa for the editing! smile.png

    Sorry for the long hiatus (again). I had some personal problems. I hope people still remember this story. 

    On the day Oliver comes out to his classmates at school, Oscar has a strange dream. And then, just when everything seems perfect, an old enemy spoils the day...


  35. Guilt and Punishment 0 reviews, 1,814 words,


    Thanks Lisa for the editing! :)

    This is a very short chapter, more like a little break before something more complex comes along.

    Updates will now hopefully return to their normal schedule. 


  36. A Lesson on Gender Identity 1 reviews, 7,967 words,

    Thanks Lisa for the editing! smile.png

    Back from an awesome weekend at BiCon (google if you don't know what it is), so chapter ended up a couple of minutes late (it's just past midnight here!). 

    The headmistress has a plan to stop the attacks against her students. This is how it begins...

  37. Halloween in September 1 reviews, 4,338 words,

    Thanks Lisa for the editing! :)

    We celebrate the end of Part 2 with Luce's birthday party (and some intimate action of the happy kind beforehand *wink wink*).

    Oscar now thinks he's ready to face his biggest challenge yet, but what will the future hold? 



  38. I'm Not Your Perfect Son 2 reviews, 2,109 words,


    Thanks Lisa for the editing. 

    Oscar gives his parents one last visit. It doesn't go as planned. The TW above should tell you the rest. 


  39. Blessed Escape 2 reviews, 4,496 words,

    Thanks Lisa for the editing! :)

    TW: Blood, graphic injury descriptions, hospital scenes

    So, I did feel sorry for last chapter, and thus this one comes one week ahead of schedule. 

    Oscar is not going to die just yet, but he did get some serious injuries... 



  40. Visits 1 reviews, 4,423 words,

    TW: Violence, child abuse, Oscar's parents, talk of injuries and hospital.

    Thanks Lisa for the editing!

    Oscar finally wakes up and learns what happened to him.  


  41. Second Chance 2 reviews, 2,249 words,

    WARNING for Oscar's parents boasting about their plan.

    Thanks Lisa for the super-quick editing!

    The chapter is shorter than usual because I spent the week between busy and sick, so I cut the chapter in half to be able to post in time. 

    Oscar is beginning to recover, but just when things start to look up he is visited by an unsettling dream... 


  42. Break All Ties 1 reviews, 3,646 words,

    WARNING: Oscar's horrible parents and everything to do with them.

    Thanks Lisa for editing the chapter and getting it done ages ago! smile.png

    Oscar finally gets out of hospital. The wounds in his body may be beginning to heal, but those in his mind won't fade so easily. Jean has a plan to make him feel better, though...

  43. A Child of the Devil 3 reviews, 4,186 words,


    Thanks Lisa for editing!

    And we finally get to know Jean's past. It's not a happy story. 

  44. A New Beginning 2 reviews, 2,177 words,

    Sorry for the delay, and thanks Lisa for being awesome with the editing! :)

    Oscar needs time to get used to his new life. Now is the time to begin severing the last ties to his old 'family'...

  45. Unexpected Friendships 2 reviews, 2,491 words,

    Thanks Lisa for the editing!

    The story is back now that my computer problems are sorted. Oscar is back to school, and trying to restart his life. 


  46. Building New Bridges 0 reviews, 2,425 words,

    Thanks Lisa for the editing!

    Continuing with Oscar's first day back in school. He's now got an opportunity to rebuild certain aspects of his past, but will he take it?

  47. Everything Deserves a Second Chance 1 reviews, 7,267 words,

    Huge thanks to Lisa for the editing!

    And once again I'm sorry for the delay, but at least this chapter is considerably longer than the last few ones. 

    Creepy Harmony Street is creepy. Or is it? 

  48. More than Private Lessons 1 reviews, 5,452 words,

    Thanks Lisa for the editing! :D

    It's Oliver's birthday, and Jean has a special present to give him. Too bad Oscar is still within earshot. 

  49. Meeting the Family 1 reviews, 2,305 words,

    Thanks Lisa for the editing! :)

    Before Oliver's birthday party begins, Oscar needs to know a bit more about with the hoard of relatives he is about to meet.