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Into the Oblivion Reviews Book 1 of Gateway

Nephylim%s's Photo

Nov 03 2011 01:58 PM

(Chapter 1 Review)

I like the story and it's interesting to see where it goes. The dialogue is good. Dialogue is one of the hardest things to get right and yours is 'real' and fluid. The characterisation is solid and the basis of the story a good foundation.
My criticism would be in editing issues like grammar and tenses. You mix up the tenses sometimes and you write as though you are not a first language English speaker, which is fine but needs polish to make it not matter.
Basically you need to get yourself an editor to polish the window so the good story and bright characters to shine through.
There is definitely a lot of potential

View Post Reply from LannisterEX (author)

Thanks Nephy. I got myself an editor ASAP and chapter 1 will be reposted for better reading. I'll do my best to make this one stand out. :)