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RIP - Comicality
    Mikiesboy
  • Mikiesboy
  • Author
  • 06/25/2016
  • 190 Words
  • 1,295 Views
  • 21 Comments
The content presented here is for informational or educational purposes only. These are just the authors' personal opinions and knowledge.
Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are based on the authors' lives and experiences and may be changed to protect personal information. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

Timmy's Journal - 40. Legend - a Rubaiyat

Legend

 

The sands of time run on—never-ending,

rules of the universe are unbending,

time marches on with no thought or pity,

sinking as we walk, finally drowning.

 

From earth we gaze—to deaf stars send our plea:

down on bended knee we beg to be free.

Will angels look down on us with blessings?

Humans are awash in heaven's mercy.

 

The gods long gone, no longer listening

And we believe on, like imprinted goslings

In silence, their voices still speak loudly,

and our love, and souls fly, on wide spread wings.

 

For how long will we stumble on blindly,

when the answers are held internally?

We fear what we'd find if we look inward;

open blind eyes, seeking and see beauty.

 

That I love you, I know I have averred,

you fought, heart not wanting to be captured,

but beauty shone from you like diamonds;

the universe’s light through you, fractured.

 

Overjoyed, I wrap you in bright garlands

I love you and wish us to be husbands

We exchange sweet love tokens solemnly

Heaven spoke; our love is stuff of legends.

Thanks to all of you who read my poetry and all the other poets here on GA.
Copyright © 2017 Mikiesboy; All Rights Reserved.
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The content presented here is for informational or educational purposes only. These are just the authors' personal opinions and knowledge.
Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are based on the authors' lives and experiences and may be changed to protect personal information. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

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Chapter Comments

Headstall

So good, tim! I loved, loved, loved the final verse.... and the one leading into it... the poem culminates beautifully and the message is beautiful... it takes only one to give us faith... in ourselves and someone else... wonderful..... G xo

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Parker Owens

Beautiful, Tim, just beautiful. garlands....loved the way you used that word. And for me, your words and verses are the manifestation of blessing and mercy.

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dughlas

I like this both in where the words took me but also in the construction of the poem. This is not a form I see myself using so I particularly am awed at the diligence you display in building your skills as a poet.

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Emi GS

That was really beautiful. All those images and I loved the last stanza. Yes, I'll agree with Dugh. Some times no firm is necessary to write about what we feel and experience. And I glad and proud you are excelling in the world of poetry through your hard work and dedication. Love that poem Tim...

 

~Emi.

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Mikiesboy
On 06/26/2016 06:50 AM, Headstall said:

So good, tim! I loved, loved, loved the final verse.... and the one leading into it... the poem culminates beautifully and the message is beautiful... it takes only one to give us faith... in ourselves and someone else... wonderful..... G xo

Thanks Gary, appreciate you reading this piece and your review. I'm glad you liked it.

 

tim xo

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Mikiesboy
On 06/26/2016 09:52 AM, Parker Owens said:

Beautiful, Tim, just beautiful. garlands....loved the way you used that word. And for me, your words and verses are the manifestation of blessing and mercy.

Glad you liked it Parker. Thanks for you review and your time.

 

tim xo

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Mikiesboy
On 06/26/2016 10:13 AM, Valkyrie said:

Beautiful, Tim :hug:

Aw Val.. thanks very much for reading and your nice review!

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Mikiesboy
On 06/26/2016 11:51 AM, dughlas said:

I like this both in where the words took me but also in the construction of the poem. This is not a form I see myself using so I particularly am awed at the diligence you display in building your skills as a poet.

Thanks dugh, i like the rubaiyat. It's a challenge to find rhymes that are natural and fit in with what you want to say. Thanks for your great comments and support! I appreciate it.

 

tim xo

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Mikiesboy
On 06/26/2016 12:43 PM, Emi GS said:

That was really beautiful. All those images and I loved the last stanza. Yes, I'll agree with Dugh. Some times no firm is necessary to write about what we feel and experience. And I glad and proud you are excelling in the world of poetry through your hard work and dedication. Love that poem Tim...

 

~Emi.

Thank you very much, Emi. I appreciate your comments and your support!

 

tim xo

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Mikiesboy
On 06/28/2016 03:48 AM, LitLover said:

Beautiful, tim... just beautiful

Aw Lit, thanks so much for reading this piece. I appreciate it very much.

 

tim xo

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Mikiesboy
On 06/29/2016 03:42 AM, Defiance19 said:

Aw, tim. This was beautifully written and communicated. Loved it..

You always make me smile, Def. Glad you liked it...thanks for reading and your support.

 

tim xo

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  • Site Moderator
Reader1810
  • Site Moderator

Hey tim
Loved it all, but I believe I heard Michael speaking the last two verses and he was right in every word he spoke. :hug:
As always, nicely done

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AC Benus

There are a couple of forms that impress me because they are good at polarities – Rubaiyat and Cinquains both excel at being light-hearted or grave as mood dictates. Here you chose interlocking Rubaiyat and gave them a timeless feel, which is no small achievement.

 

Some of the images are really beautiful, but others are equally haunting. Like the vanished gods, and we being like imprinted goslings still looking for our 'mother.'

 

Awesome poem. Thanks for posting it!

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Mikiesboy
On 06/30/2016 08:08 AM, Reader1810 said:

Hey tim

Loved it all, but I believe I heard Michael speaking the last two verses and he was right in every word he spoke. :hug:

As always, nicely done

Aw Reader, you're lovely. Thanks you for reading this and sharing your thoughts, I love to hear what people think..

 

tim xo

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Mikiesboy
On 07/01/2016 07:58 AM, AC Benus said:

There are a couple of forms that impress me because they are good at polarities – Rubaiyat and Cinquains both excel at being light-hearted or grave as mood dictates. Here you chose interlocking Rubaiyat and gave them a timeless feel, which is no small achievement.

 

Some of the images are really beautiful, but others are equally haunting. Like the vanished gods, and we being like imprinted goslings still looking for our 'mother.'

 

Awesome poem. Thanks for posting it!

Any success I have at poetry is shared with you AC. Your prompts, your sharing of your knowledge and your precious time all have helped me learn. Thank you, AC.

 

tim xo

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MichaelS36
On 2016-06-29 at 6:08 PM, Reader1810 said:

Hey tim
Loved it all, but I believe I heard Michael speaking the last two verses and he was right in every word he spoke. :hug:
As always, nicely done

Maybe...not exactly me, but it's a great poem!

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  • Love 1
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