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RIP - Comicality
    totallyy
  • totallyy
  • Author
  • 10/10/2015
  • 114 Words
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Poetry posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

Rhymes - 19. The Third Fall.

Poetry Prompt 14: Ballade

Fresh naive faces,

Elaborate dream,

Off to the races,

Limitless we seem.

Ivory walls gleam

With clean slates and all

Deemed cream of the cream.

It’s now the third fall.

 

Look how he chases

Splitting at the seam

Into dark places

With dangers they teem.

Watch your self-esteem,

Watch how it grows small

While swimming upstream.

It’s now the third fall.

 

Loveless embraces:

No one will redeem

These basket cases.

Stand and watch them scream

As some common theme

Endlessly enthral

Them to the extreme.

It’s now the third fall.

 

You are your own team:

No one else to call

A triumph, per diem.

It’s now the third fall.

Copyright © 2016 totallyy; All Rights Reserved.
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Poetry posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 
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AC Benus

Thank you for taking the poetry prompt challenge! First of all, I admire how you chose to and stuck to a five-syllable line throughout. That's admirable, as making the line short, you gave yourself less 'room' to play with meaning.

 

Another thing I think is great is your embracing of the spirit of the Envoi. 'You' makes such a powerful statement, and functions much like the pivot point in a sonnet to break the reader's complacency. Love it here; I think it's very effective!

 

Naturally, the refrain just sings like it should. I think you've done a great job illustration the potential power of the Ballade form.

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totallyy
On 10/11/2015 04:57 AM, AC Benus said:

Thank you for taking the poetry prompt challenge! First of all, I admire how you chose to and stuck to a five-syllable line throughout. That's admirable, as making the line short, you gave yourself less 'room' to play with meaning.

 

Another thing I think is great is your embracing of the spirit of the Envoi. 'You' makes such a powerful statement, and functions much like the pivot point in a sonnet to break the reader's complacency. Love it here; I think it's very effective!

 

Naturally, the refrain just sings like it should. I think you've done a great job illustration the potential power of the Ballade form.

thank you so much for the review and as always, the prompt as well. :) i really need to get back into the habit of writing but these prompts really help inspire me, and they're such bite sized challenges that don't require me to devote a large amount of time to and yet always gives me such satisfaction. so really thank you :)

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