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  • Graeme

    2019 Anthology Theme Selection

    By Graeme

    It's time to start working out what themes we'll use for the 2019 anthologies!   A thread has been created in the Gay Authors Anthology forum to allow members to post their suggestions for next year's anthology themes. The detailed rules are in that thread, but in summary:   Each member can suggest up to five themes Each theme is to be no more than three words in length. Themes that exceed three words will be disqualified Do not use a theme that's already been used. Past anthology themes can be found here Only themes posted in the 2019 Anthology Theme Suggestion thread will be eligible. Please do not post your suggestions in this blog   You can post your suggestions up to the 7th September when the thread will automatically lock. Once it's locked, the themes will be collated and then we'll ask our authors to vote on which themes they would like for next year.   I look forward to seeing what everyone comes up with!
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  1. Graeme
    Latest Entry

    By Graeme,

    It's time to start working out what themes we'll use for the 2019 anthologies!

     

    A thread has been created in the Gay Authors Anthology forum to allow members to post their suggestions for next year's anthology themes. The detailed rules are in that thread, but in summary:

     

    • Each member can suggest up to five themes
    • Each theme is to be no more than three words in length. Themes that exceed three words will be disqualified
    • Do not use a theme that's already been used. Past anthology themes can be found here
    • Only themes posted in the 2019 Anthology Theme Suggestion thread will be eligible. Please do not post your suggestions in this blog

     

    You can post your suggestions up to the 7th September when the thread will automatically lock. Once it's locked, the themes will be collated and then we'll ask our authors to vote on which themes they would like for next year.

     

    I look forward to seeing what everyone comes up with!

  2. Cia
    Latest Entry

    By Cia,

    One thing many readers have in common here on GA is that, at one time or another, we've had to grapple with the fact that we're not quite what everyone expects us to be when we're growing up. We're different. But others can't tell. And sometimes, when you're reading, that's a good thing! There are a lot of teen coming-of-age stories on GA, but BlindAmbition really connected with this one for his review. Read on to find out why! 

     

    Losing Kevin

    Ronyx

    Reviewer: BlindAmbition
    Status: Complete
    Word Count: 57,913

     

    Choosing a story to read can be difficult, whether you’re craving a certain genre, or a specific mood. Deciding which story to review can be just as difficult. GA has a vast library of stories and authors. I gravitate more to stories that evoke reaction, or real emotion. Losing Kevin by Ronyx is one of those stories. This story has your typical teenage angst, but there's so much more complexity within these characters and their relationships. It’s a binge worthy pleasure from one of GA’s Classic Authors.

     

    Losing Kevin centers on Kevin Williams. A boy who is coming to terms with his sexuality, and what exactly that means for him going forward. A difficult moment for any teenager. Add in his identical twin Devin, and well, it’s a recipe for disaster. The brothers have become increasingly distant as they grow older.

     

    Kevin is a master at blending in and keeping secrets, while Devin is Mr. Popularity juggling a social climbing girlfriend. The only thing these two have in common is pleasing a demanding father. Each has their own way of dealing with him. This has created a certain level of sibling rivalry.

     

    Kevin has kept a low profile. That was until new student Cameron Lynch enters the picture. There’s instant chemistry. Something which hasn’t gone unnoticed. Brewing storms from multiple fronts are ahead for Kevin and Cameron. The realization of secrets and truths will pit brother against brother, friend against friend, parent against parent, parent against child in this complex tale.

     

    Ronyx masterfully dissects these relationships layer by layer, giving the reader multiple views of situations. He does this with extreme neutrality, leaving the reader the opportunity to form their own opinion.

     

    I’m usually not a fan of too many teenage coming of age tales. Ronyx is an exception. He tackles tough and taboo subjects. Sometimes the issues are hard to read about, but they are handled with an honest and delicate curiosity. The teen characters are well formed individuals. You know they are teens, but there is a level of maturity there. Losing Kevin is a good introduction to Ronyx’s stories if you’ve never delved into his library of work. Happy Reading!

     

    Category: Fiction   Genres: Drama, Romance  Tags: teen, gay, coming of age, university  Rating: Mature

  3. wildone
    Latest Entry

    By wildone,

    Well I am finally home after my 7734 km/4805 mile drive! Thank you Cia for helping me out last week.

     

    First off, are you like me and getting lots and lots of notifications? :unsure: Well even though we didn't have a Tech Tuesday, Myr showed us all how to authorize what we get notified on. Check it out here by clicking 'Read more...' on the big red bar on any page or via the announcement. Or just go check out the actual options to selection what you are getting notifications for, not just how often/how/when that appears UNDER the blue save button on the 'Notifications Settings' box by simply scrolling down a little farther on the page.  

     

     

    Monday, Cia introduced us to our August Can't Stop Reading Feature Story:

     

    Wednesday, Cia  rubbed two sticks together and came up with a new Blog feature for the day :P

     

    Friday, sorry about not getting the Author Prompts featured until later in the day 0:)

     

     

    Anthologies

    • 2018 Fall Anthology: Fight Back - Due Nov 15th
    • 2018 Fall Anthology: Good Intentions - Due Nov 15th

     

    Blog Opportunities

    • Story Critique: Open to all GA authors. Sign up here.

    • Ask An Author: Send your questions for your favorite authors to @Carlos Hazday (no questions = no Ask An Author)

    • Story Recommendations:  Open to all GA authors & readers. PM your recommendation and why you recommend it to a Site Admin.

     

    Premium Updates:

    Harbinger by Cia *Premium*

     

    Classic Updates:

    Conversations With Myself by Altimexis

    Dawn of Tears by dkstories

    Mark's Revenge by Ronyx

    The Kandric Saga by Kyle Aarons

    Wild Heart by Dabeagle

     

    Signature Updates:

    April Musings by Valkyrie

    Aria Graice by Nephylim

    Denied by Cia

    I'm Worthless Because Nobody Likes Me by CarlHoliday; Book 2 of 319 Winesap Lane

    Love Looked at Me and Laughed and other poems by AC Benus; Book 11 of Verse

    Mojo by AC Benus

    Prompts? by CassieQ

    So Weeps the Willow by Cole Matthews

     

    Promising Updates:

    Disasters, Delights and Other Detours by Parker Owens

    Here Kitty, Kitty by Caz Pedroso

    The Golden City by Aceinthehole

     

    ***Check out this GA Classic***

     

    For The Love

    by C James

     

    Chris grew up a loner in small-town Arizona, but things began to change for him when he started college. Sometimes for the better, but sometimes for the worse, and often with humor, the changes affect his life, as he sets for on the road of life, and towards finding the love of his life, with a lot of adventure along the way.

     

    Don't forget.... Read, Write, and REVIEW!!!

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    Recent Entries

    jamessavik
    Latest Entry

    I have had an extensive physical at the Seattle Cancer Care Alliance and am in great shape.

     

    I have been tested for all sorts of viruses and conditions and have none of  them.

     

    I am in great shape and will be an excellent stem cell donor for my brother- who has bone marrow cancer.

     

    We expect to give him the transplant around the 1st week of September.

     

    Since we are such a good match, that ups his chances for recovery considerably.

     

    This is excellent news for our family and, we're going out for a steak tonight. 

     

    I will be flying home in the morning.

  4. Cia
    Latest Entry

    By Cia,

     Friday is here! Busy week for me yet again, with the CSR on Monday and the post about crafting characters on Wednesday. But maybe you can use some of that info to help you when writing for one of these great prompts supplied by our guru, Comicfan! 

     


    Prompt 690 – Creative

    Tag – The horoscope

    Imagine reading a horoscope and having it come true, but only in accidental ways. What happens?

     

    Prompt 691 – Creative

    Tag – Fairy Tale Gone Wrong

    You’ve been trying to make your father happy, but your first three quests have gone wrong. The frog you kissed turned into a three hundred pound woman who ran immediately back to her husband. The cat you saved and gave boots to, well she turned out to literally have been a witch’s lover. You won’t even tell your father about fighting to a ruined castle to save some sort of sleeping beauty only to arrive moments after some other guy got there. Now he is sending you on a quest he found. What happens?


     

    Did you write a prompt response last week? Don't forget to share it below.

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    Recent Entries

    Me: Hey! Hi ! Hello ! How are you ? Can we be friends ? 

               I am so like that! it is so funny that I am so hopeful that I can find my true love. True love that I can’t see , it’s like I am blind or that “true love” is so far to see . I am now 18 ! and that existence I didn’t have a relationship yet! I have so many crushes and sadly none of them like me? Am I ugly? “ looking at the mirror” Me: No , my friends and other says I’m cute . 

    Am I super girly? 

    Me: No

    Am I sweet ? 

    Me: sometimes 

               Maybe months have passed, I started chatting on many guys online, I found out that I am inlove to guys who is older than me, like some of my batch mates are for crush and for day dreaming  only. I am a joker in class, I make the whole class laugh ! What’s wrong with me? Why like there are no guys wants me? “urghhhh” . 

    Everyday and night I didn’t stop to add guys , text them , or call them if I am so upset that no one really want me. Maybe some says they have their “bf” “hubby” “honey “ “mine” or “my boo” etc. Some says they are not yet ready. Some says they want to see me real and meet me. And like “ hooooo” you know what is the reason why ? I look for that ideal man! “No” I mean the man who can love me truly, accept me, care for me, and willing to visit me here in country. The main reason why I don’t have any bf right now because I am looking for a foreign guy or some guys from other country. Look how many guys I added on Facebook, followed on Instagram, and etc. Like maybe there are only 4-5 persons last for a month in chat. They say that love is hard when you are in different country , “ yeah , I know “ but we can be if we will do something which will make us strong.  

    One time I said to myself I should wait, until one time,  I was about to sleep and I am still scrolling who is onlins, and I saw a message request coming from  a guy in London, not so cute but he has that look. Like he is so sweet and weeks after  chatting, he is now saying that he loves me! OMG! and I really don’t that he is 25 !!! but then I should say that I am so lucky ! I expect so much , and this is it, I said my “YES” and we are both so happy after. After 2 weeks he said that he has plans for me, so sometimes he is busy on his work and he is hardly working. Before our monthsary maybe 4 days before , I was like waiting to him to get online, and then my text is became like an essay! he is not replying or even say 

    Good morning, or even a thumbs up”  . 🙄 Is this real? like at first he really loves me , and he always say those excuse that he is so busy. So after 4 days is our Monthsary, like I am the one who greet him and made a long sweet message. Then the only reply he said was “ thank you”  Whaaaatttt??? I am a kind person so I understand him. 

                2nd Month , like sometimes we do video call and we are like laughing while he is walking to go to his work, then he’s like making me happy.  After  weeks, is our second Monthsary and like he greet me, then I said “ I love you” and like I am so blushing all day when I think of him. I suggested to him that he must have an haircut because he has long hair , then he said that soon! After all these days, he was like a smoke like gone for a week, then he is calling me like he is drunk, like his face was so haggard and stressed, so I really worry about him, you know what’s worse that he said to me that “ You may leave” like I don’t understand him that night.  So we ended the video call incompletely and I am worried . Early in the morning I open my inbox from Messenger he was apologizing , and like I forgive him. That’s me easy to forgive and very kind.  

                                      To be Continued.

  5. Valkyrie
    Latest Entry

    On August 9, 2013 I decided to take the plunge and join GA as a member instead of reading stories as a lurker.  While I'd dabbled a bit with writing poetry and some creative fiction, I'd never actually finished anything I started writing.  The closest I came was a vampire novel I started writing in the early '90s (which I may yet finish ;) )  The atmosphere on GA was so welcoming.  It felt like a place where I wanted to interact with others, and one of my favorite things was reading the weekly prompts.  There was more participation in the prompts back then, and I felt like they were a good way to ease back into writing.  Bolstered by the positive and encouraging responses to those early scribblings, I expanded one of them into my first novella. I then decided to tackle the anthologies, which helped me develop my writing skills even more.  I was beyond thrilled to be promoted to Promising Author, and then Signature.  I still feel a flash of pride whenever I see the maroon rectangle next to my name.  :) 

     

    Writing and GA has opened so many doors for me.  I love writing and sharing my work with like-minded people.  My editing/beta team have become dear, dear friends. @Cole Matthews, @Lisa, @aditus... I can't imagine a life without you all in it :hug:  There are too many to name, but know everyone on this site holds a special place in my heart.  It's hard to believe it's been five years since I de-cloaked and became a member.  Yes, I'm a Star Trek nerd :gikkle: 

     

    Many of you know I have been spending the summer re-doing my house.  I bought new appliances, a new recliner, a giant cat tree, and a boatload of other new things for the house.  My mom and I moved every piece of furniture, scrubbed the walls and floors, and went through every box downstairs.  I threw out a ton of stuff, donated a ton of stuff, and now have a manageable living space.  There are a few reasons we did all this.  One, it needed to be done.  I've done a lot of travelling in the ten years I've lived here, so I let a lot of house stuff go.  Two, I had my BFF planning to visit for a week and I wanted a house that didn't look like it was inhabited by trolls. And three... I am having major surgery this week.  

     

    This has been a summer of reflection for me.  I found a lot of things from my past when going through all those boxes.  Mostly good memories, but some bittersweet.  I don't want to get into all the details of my surgery, since it's rather personal, but I will say I have a pre-cancerous condition which requires the removal of some parts.  The risk of cancer is relatively low, but still there.  I've had two prior surgeries, and admit to being most nervous about this one.  So I will be away from the site briefly while I recover.  I'm hoping my absence will be less than a week, but it all depends on how I feel and what they find.  I won't have my laptop with me until I'm back home, but I will have my cell phone and will keep Cole updated.  He has my permission to post updates here.  

     

    I am hoping to do a lot of writing while I recover.  I'd like to finish "The Hollow Hills" and start my next novel.  I have some editing to do, and something exciting in the works for GA.  I also hope to be able to do some reading... something I've been neglecting lately.  

     

    So that's what going on in my life right now.  Thank you to all my readers, followers, and friends. You guys are awesome :hug: :kiss: 

  6. MrM
    Latest Entry

    5Xi6DfT.jpg

     

     

    Track List

    1. Closed Doors (Message To Bears) - Overture: Taryn Inside Looking Out
    2. For Adrian (Many Years Ago) (Mark Tulk) - Taryn’s Song
    3. Darkest Dreaming (David Sylvian) - Taryn’s Dreams of Escape
    4. Shattered Dreams (Johnny Hates Jazz) - The Last Straw
    5. Shake Dog Shake (The Cure) - A Fateful Decision
    6. Leave In Silence (Depeche Mode) - Stealing Away Into The Night
    7. Dirty Blvd. (Lou Reed) - Taryn and Alec on the Cold Streets of Chicago
    8. To The Ends Of The Earth (The Unfinished) - Homeless and Hungry
    9. If Only Tonight We Could Sleep (The Cure) - Survival: Failing
    10. Letting Go (Wild Nothing) - Realities and Realizations
    11. You Found Me (The Fray) - When Comes The Beautiful Stranger
    12. Indigo Eyes (Peter Murphy) - Trevor
    13. Cry Little Sister (Marilyn Manson) - Discovering The Sleeping Undead
    14. The Hopeless (Velvet Acid Christ) - Alec Is Sick
    15. After The Fall (Chelsea Wolfe) - From Bad To Worse
    16. Lost Little Boys (Fatherson) - It Just Isn’t Working
    17. God Bless The Child (Annie Lennox) - Taryn’s Choice
    18. Abandoned (Antarctic Wastelands) - A Promise Never Kept
    19. Age Of Consent (Arcade Fire) - Taryn Consents
    20. Darkness (Disturbed) - Taryn’s Last Day
    21. When Love And Death Embrace (HIM) - Taryn: Gone From Daylight
    22. Dark Shores - The Anchor By The Lake
    23. Forever Young (OneDirection) - A Light In The Darkness
    24. Ocean Eyes (American Avenue) - Justin Time
    25. A Time For Us (André Rieu) - Love Found In The Darkness

    ————————————

    Closed Doors (Message To Bears) - Taryn Inside Looking Out

     

    Instrumental Overture

     

    For Adrian (Many Years Ago) (Mark Tulk) - Taryn’s Song

     

    Many years ago

    When only boy

    So many years ago

     

    Many years ago

    At the age of eight

    So many years ago

     

    Many years ago

    You took me aside

    To a darkened room

    Closed the door

     

    On a moonless night

    The curtains were drawn

    I wanted to run

    But I didn’t know why

     

    Many years ago

    When only boy

    So many years ago

     

    Many years ago

    At the age of eight

    So many years ago

     

    You took my hand

    As you loosened your belt

    I started to shake

    I didn’t know why

     

    You held me down

    With your Policeman’s hands

    And ordered me not

    To make any sound

     

    Many years ago (X4)

     

    Many years ago

    You took me aside

    To a darkened room

    And closed the door

     

    On a moonless night

    The curtains were drawn

    I wanted to run

    But I didn’t know why

     

    Many years ago

    As I was starting to gag

    So many years ago

     

    Many years ago

    At the age of eight

    So many years ago

     

    You let go of my hand

    And tightened your belt

    I fumbled for the door

    I tried not to cry

     

    The light of the hall

    It blinded my eyes

    I swallowed the words

    You planted inside

     

    “Tell Mommy or Daddy and I’ll take them away.” (X)

     

    Darkest Dreaming (David Sylvian) - Taryn’s Dreams of Escape

     

    Stay tonight

    We'll watch the full moon rising

    Hold on tight

    The sky is breaking

     

    I don't ever want to be alone

    With all my darkest dreaming

     

    Hold me close

    The sky is breaking

     

    I don't ever want to be alone

    With all my darkest dreaming

     

    Hold me close

    The sky is breaking

     

    Shattered Dreams (Johnny Hates Jazz) - The Last Straw

     

    So much for your promises

    They died the day you let me go

    Caught up in a web of lies

    But it was just too late to know

     

    I thought it was you

    Who would stand by my side

    And now you've given me, given me

    Nothing but shattered dreams, shattered dreams

    Feel like I could run away, run away

    From this empty heart

     

    You said you'd die for me,

    Woke up to reality

    And found the future not so bright

    I dreamt the impossible

    That maybe things could work out right

     

    I thought it was you

    Who would do me no wrong

    But now you've given me, given me

    Nothing but shattered dreams, shattered dreams

    Feel like I could run away, run away

    From this empty heart

     

    You've given me, given me

    Nothing but shattered dreams, shattered dreams

    Feel like I could run away, run away

     

    From this empty heart

    From this empty heart

     

    I thought it was you who said they'd die for love

     

    And now you've given me, given me

    Nothing but shattered dreams, shattered dreams

    Feel like I could run away, run away

    From this empty heart

     

    You've given me, given me

    Nothing but shattered dreams, shattered dreams

    Feel like I could run away, run away

    From this empty heart

     

    Oh no no no you said you'd die for me

    Oh oh die for me

    So much for your promises

     

    Shake Dog Shake (The Cure) - A Fateful Decision

     

    Ha ha ha

    Wake up in the dark

    The after-taste of anger in the back of my mouth

    Spit it on the wall

    And cough some more

    And scrape my skin with razor blades

    And make up in the new blood

    And try to look so good

    Follow me

    Make up in the new blood

    And follow me to where the real fun is

     

    Ha ha ha

    As stale and selfish as a sick dog

    Spurning sex like an animal of god

    I'll tear your red hair by the roots

    And hold you blazing

    Hold you cherished in the dead electric light

    Your face

    I'll never see you this way again

    I captured it so perfectly

    As if I knew you'd disappear away

     

    Shake shake shake shake

    Shake shake shake shake

    Shake dog shake

    Shake shake shake shake

    Shake shake shake shake

    Shake dog shake

     

    You hit me again

    You howl and hit me again

    The same sharp pain

    Wakes me in the dark

    And cuts me from my throat to my pounding heart

     

    My heart

    My shaking heart

    My howl my shake dog

    Oh shake dog shake

    Shake shake

    Shake dog shake

     

    But we slept all night in the virgin's bed

    And dreamed of death

    And breathed like sick dogs

    We slept all night in the virgin's bed

    And breathed like death

    And dreamed of sick dogs

     

    Shake shake

    Shake dog shake

    Wake up wake up wake up

    Shake dog shake

    Wake up wake up wake up

     

    Shake dog shake

    Wake up in the new blood

    Make up in the new blood

    Shake up in the new blood

    And follow me to where the real fun is

    Shake dog shake

     

    Leave In Silence (Depeche Mode) - Stealing Away Into The Night

     

    I've told myself so many times before

    But this time I think I mean it for sure

    We have reached a full stop

    Nothing's gonna save us from the big drop

    Reached our natural conclusion

    Outlived the illusion

    I hate being in these situations

    That call for diplomatic relations

    If I only knew the answer

    Or I thought we had a chance

    Or I could stop this

     

    I would stop this thing from spreading like a cancer

    What can I say? (I don't want to play) anymore

    What can I say? I'm heading for the door

    I can't stand this emotional violence

     

    Leave in silence

     

    We've been running around in circles all year

    Doing this and that and getting nowhere

    This'll be the last time

    (I think I said that last time)

    If I only had a potion,

    Some magical lotion

    That could stop this, I would stop this

     

    I would set the wheels in motion

    What can I say? (I don't want to play) anymore

    What can I say? I'm heading for the door

    I can't stand this emotional violence

     

    Leave in silence

     

    Dirty Blvd. (Lou Reed) - Taryn and Alec on the Cold Streets of Chicago

     

    Pedro lives out of the Wilshire Hotel

    he looks out a window without glass

    The walls are made of cardboard, newspapers on his feet

    his father beats him 'cause he's too tired to beg

     

    He's got 9 brothers and sisters

    they're brought up on their knees

    it's hard to run when a coat hanger beats you on the thighs

    Pedro dreams of being older and killing the old man

    but that's a slim chance he's going to the boulevard

     

    He's going to end up, on the dirty boulevard

    he's going out, to the dirty boulevard

    He's going down, to the dirty boulevard

     

    This room cost 2, 000 dollars a month

    you can believe it man it's true

    somewhere a landlord's laughing till he wets his pants

    No one here dreams of being a doctor or a lawyer or anything

    they dream of dealing on the dirty boulevard

     

    Give me your hungry, your tired your poor I'll piss on 'em

    that's what the Statue of Bigotry says

    Your poor huddled masses, let's club 'em to death

    and get it over with and just dump 'em on the boulevard

     

    Get to end up, on the dirty boulevard

    going out, to the dirty boulevard

    He's going down, on the dirty boulevard

    going out

     

    Outside it's a bright night

    there's an opera at Lincoln Center

    movie stars arrive by limousine

    The klieg lights shoot up over the skyline of Manhattan

    but the lights are out on the Mean Streets

     

    A small kid stands by the Lincoln Tunnel

    he's selling plastic roses for a buck

    The traffic's backed up to 39th street

    the TV whores are calling the cops out for a suck

     

    And back at the Wilshire, Pedro sits there dreaming

    he's found a book on magic in a garbage can

    He looks at the pictures and stares at the cracked ceiling

    "At the count of 3" he says, "I hope I can disappear”

     

    And fly fly away, from this dirty boulevard

    I want to fly, from dirty boulevard

    I want to fly, from dirty boulevard

    I want to fly-fly-fly-fly, from dirty boulevard

    I want to fly away

    I want to fly

    Fly, fly away

    I want to fly

    Fly-fly away (Fly a-)

    fly-fly-fly (-way, ooohhh...)

    Fly-fly away (I want to fly-fly away)

    fly away (I want to fly, wow-woh, no, fly away)

     

    To The Ends Of The Earth (The Unfinished) - Homeless and Hungry

     

    A Desperate Instrumental

     

    If Only Tonight We Could Sleep (The Cure) - Survival: Failing

     

    If only tonight we could sleep

    In a bed made of flowers

    If only tonight we could fall

    In a deathless spell

    If only tonight we could slide

    Into deep black water

     

    And breathe

    And breathe

     

    Then an angel would come

    With burning eyes like stars

    And bury us deep

    In his velvet arms

    And the rain would cry

    As our faces slipped away

    And the rain would cry

     

    Don't let it end

     

    Letting Go (Wild Nothing) - Realities and Realizations

     

    [Verse 1]

    It's getting hard for me to reframe all those shifting memories

    Like a music box that never starts dancing by itself

    What a broken world, what a broken world

    It is my only wish to see you, to see through you

    I step inside

     

    [Chorus]

    Letting go

    I want to be happier now

    I want to be more than closed

    Surreal, the way you made me out

    The way you crashed me down

     

    [Verse 2]

    It's getting hard for me to remember all of the names from my life

    You've been so many different kinds of people in my mind

     

    [Chorus]

    Letting go

    I want to be happier now

    I want to be more than closed

    Surreal, the way you made me out

    Letting go

    I want to be happier now

    I want to be more than closed

    Surreal, the way you made me out

    The way you crashed me down

     

    [Instrumental Bridge]

     

    [Chorus]

    Letting go

    I want to be happier now

    I want to be more than closed

    Surreal, the way you made me out

    Letting go

    I want to be happier now

    I want to be more than closed

    Surreal, the way you made me out

    The way you crashed me down

     

    You Found Me (The Fray) - When Comes The Beautiful Stranger

     

    I found God on the corner of First in Amistad

    Where the west was all but won

    All alone

    Smoking his last cigarette

    I said where you been?

    He said, ask anything

     

    Where were you

    When everything was falling apart?

    All my days

    Spent by the telephone

    That never rang

    And all I needed was a call

    That never came

    From the corner of First and Amistad

     

    Lost and insecure

    You found me, you found me

    Lying on the floor

    Surrounded, surrounded

    Why'd you have to wait?

    Where were you, where were you?

     

    Just a little late

    You found me, you found me

    In the end

    Everyone ends up alone

    Losing her

    The only one who's ever known

    Who I am, who I'm not, and who I wanna be

    No way to know

    How long she will be next to me

     

    Lost and insecure

    You found me, you found me

    Lying on the floor

    Surrounded, surrounded

    Why'd you have to wait?

    Where were you, where were you?

     

    Just a little late

    You found me, you found me

    Early morning

    City breaks

    I've been calling

    For years and years and years and years

    And you never left me no messages

    You never send me no letters

    You got some kind of nerve

    Taking all I want

     

    Lost and insecure

    You found me, you found me

    Lying on the floor

    Where were you? Where were you?

    Lost and insecure

    You found me, you found me

    Lying on the floor

    Surrounded, surrounded

    Why'd you have to wait?

    Where were you, where were you?

     

    Just a little late

    You found me, you found me

    Why'd you have to wait

    To find me?

    To find me?

     

    Indigo Eyes (Peter Murphy) - Trevor

     

    Fire burning in a hill

    The lines are rocky rough

    Red angels wait to pick remains

    The cindered shoulder

    Of confused men

    Separate from their awe

    With grey desire

    He looks out mad

    His soft grey indigo eyes

    Indigo eyes...

    Asking

     

    His heaven is uncovered not

    A black tree blocks his way

    His way is skating round a dome

    (His way is in dismay)

    The playmate sings

    Like Orpheus in some thunder world

    Asking to be bathed in light

    To be exemplified

     

    With grey desire he looks out mad

    His soft grey indigo eyes

     

    Saw his past

    He had dug for trust

    With blind infected hands

    And wondered as the hurt bit hard

    Why the sacred weren't at hand

    Only when his ears were deaf

    To the angels light burst waves

    Only when his ears were deaf

    Did life turn from fog to fog

    But not evil but estranged

    But not evil but estranged

     

    Indigo eyes, Indigo eyes

    Indigo eyes, Indigo eyes

     

    With grey desire

    He looks out mad

    His soft grey

    Indigo eyes

    Indigo eyes

     

    Cry Little Sister (Marilyn Manson) - Discovering The Sleeping Undead

     

    [Verse 1]

    Last fire will rise behind those eyes

    Black house will rock, blind boys don't lie

    Immortal fear, that voice so clear

    Through broken walls, that scream I hear

     

    [Chorus]

    Cry, little sister (Thou shall not fall)

    Come, come to your brother (Thou shall not die)

    Unchain me, sister (Thou shall not fear)

    Love is with your brother (Thou shall not kill)

     

    [Verse 2]

    Blue masquerade, strangers look on

    When will they learn this loneliness?

    Temptation heat beats like a drum

    Deep in your veins, I will not lie

     

    [Chorus]

    Little sister (Thou shall not fall)

    Come, come to your brother (Thou shall not die)

    Unchain me, sister (Thou shall not fear)

    Love is with your brother (Thou shall not kill)

     

    [Bridge]

    My Shangri-La, I can't forget

    Why you were mine, I need you now

     

    Cry, little sister

    Come, come to your brother

    Unchain me, sister

    Love is with your brother

     

    [Chorus]

    Cry, little sister (Thou shall not fall)

    Love is with your brother (Thou shall not die)

    Unchain me, sister (Thou shall not fear)

    Love, love is with your brother (Thou shall not kill)

     

    Cry, little sister (Thou shall not fall)

    Love is with your brother (Thou shall not die)

    Unchain me, sister (Thou shall not fear)

    Love is with your brother (Thou shall not kill)

     

    The Hopeless (Velvet Acid Christ) - Alec Is Sick

     

    A force fed lie, our dead dream

    Awake upon a staircase

    Start looking downward into Hell

     

    Where the last life screamed and we screeched

    "We're always, always a bloody mess, a bloody mess"

    Lying hole, tired eyes, you're screeching

    You're scraping the bone with your life

     

    Into a dream, we will fade

    Hopeless, the hopeless, the hopeless, the hopeless

    The hopeless, the hopeless, the hopeless

    They're calling of the dead, calling of the dead

     

    You liars, and your face

    And your eyes separate the fear, the lies, the fate

    Set into eyes, the calling of the dead

    Image in the light, they calling you dead

     

    They won't believe signs, they don't believe your cries

    They always open eyes, and the light all over your head, your head

    Time distortion, crawling onto your knees

    Crawl onto the floor, get off your feet

     

    A lie in the wake, spiralling down

    Glass feeling moments all over your arms, over your arms

    Condemned, force fed, force fed, you're calling dead

     

    Feeling your flesh ripped apart with Heaven and Hell

    The conflict of everything was sent from Heaven and Hell

    The conflict of disease, the life-long breeding season

     

    For your lips, you'll take away the life that was given so easily

    Now all becomes the entity of hate, shows you hate

    Shows you light, shows you everything. everything

    The fading light, a broken dream

    You're everything, your everything

     

    Kneel to the floor, get off your knees

    Raise up to the light, you won't feel a thing

    Inject the needle, inject the time

    Kill all the light with forces of the night

     

    Always a lost day, always a hopeless brain

    Always everything, always force fed

    Into your head, into head, into your life

    Where you dream, that's where you go

     

    That's how it lives, that's how you know pain

    No choice, no life, no choice, no freedom

    Just separation, segregation, the annihilation

    Annihilation, annihilation, annihilation

     

    After The Fall (Chelsea Wolfe) - From Bad To Worse

     

    Nothing will keep us apart

    I said nothing will keep us apart

    I know that you'll find me there

     

    I know that you'll find me

    After the fall

    I know that you're waiting

    I know that you'll find me there

     

    After the fall

    I know that you're waiting

    Ready to run

     

    Chasing the sun

    I can't wake up

    Scream and run

    Don't let them win

     

    Nothing will keep us apart

     

    I know that you'll find me

    After the fall

    I know that you're waiting

    I know that you'll find me there

     

    After the fall

    I know that you're waiting

    Ready to run

     

    Chasing the sun

    I can't wake up

    Scream and run

    Don't let them win

     

    Nothing will keep us apart

     

    Go on, drive into the morning

    Never give up

    Never give in

     

    Lost Little Boys (Fatherson) - It Just Isn’t Working

     

    [Verse 1]

    It's a cold summers night

    Are you beside me? I can't tell

    I need your help

    I need it honestly

    I can't stand up right these days

    But you owe me that

    Yeah, you owe me that

     

    [Chorus 1]

    Cause we're just lost little boys

    Making a name for ourselves

     

    [Verse 2]

    It's a cold summers night

    Are you beside me, in good health?

    I need your help

    I need it honestly

    I can't stand up right these days

    But you owe me that

    Yeah, you owe me that

     

    [Chorus 2]

    Cause we're just lost little boys

    Making a name for ourselves

    And we're just lost little boys

    Making such fools of ourselves

     

    [Bridge]

    I'm not one for second chances, I'm just lost

    If I'd stopped then I really would be giving up now

    But I'm not one for second chances

    I've never been one for second chances

    And I'm not one for second chances

    I've never been one for second chances

     

    [Chorus 3]

    Cause we're just lost little boys

    Making a name for ourselves

    And we're just lost litle boys

    Making a name for ourselves

    And we're just lost little boys

    Making such fools of ourselves

     

    God Bless The Child (Annie Lennox) - Taryn’s Choice

     

    Them that's got shall have

    Them that's not shall lose

    So the Bible said and it still is news

    Mama may have, Papa may have

    But God bless the child that's got his own, that's got his own

     

    Yes, the strong gets more

    While the weak ones fade

    Empty pockets don't ever make the grade

    Mama may have, Papa may have

    But God bless the child that's got his own, that's got his own

     

    Money, you've got lots of friends

    They're crowding around your door

    But when you're gone and spending ends

    They don't come no more

    Rich relations give crust of bread and such

    You can help yourself, but don't take too much

    Mama may have, Papa may have

    But God bless the child that's got his own, that's got his own

     

    Money you've got lots of friends

    They're crowding around your door

    But when you're gone and spending ends

    They don't come no more

    Rich relations give crust of bread and such

    You can help yourself, but don't take too much

    Mama may have, Papa may have

    But God bless the child that's got his own, that's got his own

     

    Here just don't worry about nothing cause he's got his own

    Yes, he's got his own

     

    Abandoned (Antarctic Wastelands) - A Promise Never Kept

     

    A cold adagio for the lost.

     

    Age Of Consent (Arcade Fire) - Taryn Consents

     

    Won't you please let me go

    These words lie inside they hurt me so

    And I'm not the kind that likes to tell you

    Just what I want to do

    I'm not the kind that needs to tell you

    Just what you want me to

     

    I saw you this morning

    I thought that you might like to know

    I received your message in full a few days ago

    I understood every word that it said

    And now that I've actually heard it

    You're going to regret

     

    And I'm not the kind that likes to tell you

    Just what you want me to

    You're not the kind that needs to tell me

    About the birds and the bees

     

    Do you find this happens all the time

    Crucial point one day becomes a crime

    And I'm not the kind that likes to tell you

    Just what I want to do

    I'm not the kind that needs to tell you

     

    I've lost you [x5]

    I've lost you [x5]

    I've lost you [x5]

     

    Darkness (Disturbed) - Taryn’s Last Day

     

    Don't turn away

    I pray you've heard

    The words I've spoken

    Dare to believe

    Over one last time

    Then I'll let the

     

    Darkness cover me

    Deny everything

    Slowly walk away

    To breathe again

    On my own

     

    Carry me away

    I need your strength

    To get me through this

    Dare to believe

    Over one last time

    Then I'll let the

     

    Darkness cover me

    Deny everything

    Slowly walk away

    To breathe again

    On my own

    On my own

    On my own

    On my own

    On my own

     

    Dare to believe

    Over one last time

    Then I'll let the

     

    Darkness cover me

    Deny everything

    Slowly walk away

    To breathe again

    On my own

    On my own

     

    When Love And Death Embrace (HIM) - Taryn: Gone From Daylight

     

    I'm in love with you

    And it's crushing my heart

    All I want is you

    To take me into your arms

    When love and death embrace

     

    I love you

    And you're crushing my heart

    I need you

    Please take me into your arms

     

    When love and death embrace

    When love and death embrace

    When love and death embrace

     

    Oh oh ohhh

    When love and death embrace

    Oh oh when love and death embrace

     

    Oh oh

    When love and death embrace

     

    When love and death

    When love and death

    When love and death embrace

     

    Oh When love and death embrace

    Oh When love and death embrace

    Oh When love and death embrace

    Oh When love and death embrace

     

    Dark Shores (Stand Of Oaks) - The Anchor By The Lake

     

    Minerals formed by the rain

    Whispers echo deep inside the cave

    On an ice moon where all our fathers’ live

    We’ll go there to find some rest

    I spent most of my life

    Wandering in the wasted hours

    I spent most of my life

    Wandering in the wasted hours

    Storm clouds gather around our heads

    Black birds circle waiting to be fed

    I’ll build a house on these dark shores

    Past lives won’t bother anymore

    They won’t find me here

    (I spent most of my life, wandering in the wasted hours)

     

    Forever Young (OneDirection) - A Light In The Darkness

     

    Let's dance in style, let's dance for a while

    Heaven can wait, we're only watching the skies

    Hoping for the best but expecting the worst

    Are you gonna drop the bomb or not?

     

    Let us die young or let us live forever

    We don't have the power but we never say never

    Sitting in a sandpit, life is a short trip

    The music's for the sad men

     

    Can you imagine when this race is won

    Turn our golden faces into the sun

    Praising our leaders, we're getting in tune

    The music's played by the mad men

     

    Forever young, I want to be forever young

    Do you really want to live forever, forever and ever?

    Forever young, I want to be forever young

    Do you really want to live forever? Forever young

     

    Some are like water, some are like the heat

    Some are a melody and some are the beat

    Sooner or later, they all will be gone

    Why don't they stay young?

     

    It's so hard to get old without a cause

    I don't want to perish like a fading horse

    Youth's like diamonds in the sun

    And diamonds are forever

     

    So many adventures couldn't happen today

    So many songs we forgot to play

    So many dreams swinging out of the blue

    We let them come true

     

    Forever young, I want to be forever young

    Do you really want to live forever, forever and ever?

    Forever young, I want to be forever young

    Do you really want to live forever, forever and ever?

     

    Forever young, I want to be forever young

    Do you really want to live forever?

     

    Ocean Eyes (American Avenue) - Justin Time

     

    (Reprise from ‘Gone From Daylight’)

     

    Time For Us (André Rieu) - Love Found In The Darkness

     

    Instrumental Reprise of Taryn and Justin’s Love Theme

  7. Back on July 16 @AC Benus posted a status update looking for volunteers to look at one of his poetry prompts.  i thought about it, and decided to try. 

    (it's here, if you're interested  https://www.gayauthors.org/profile/18130-ac-benus/?status=134349&type=status)

     

     

    i'll show you the evolution in just a sec, but first i learned a couple of things i wanted to share. 

     

    These authors who post poems here are a very talented group.   

     

    They also work very hard on these offerings.  It's not like they just spit the words out onto a page and VOILA! it's poetry.  For the ones i know best, it's a long process. It could be days, or weeks before what they've written coalesces into something other than a pile of words.  i've likened it to a painter, who blends the primary colors into just the PERFECT shade to convey the feeling.  Our poets do that with words. Finding just the RIGHT word so their thoughts and feelings come though the page for the reader. 

    The poets here at GA are also brave.  They've put their hearts onto the page, bared their souls for all to see.  That, my friends, is bravery. 

     

    So, to AC's Poetry Prompt. 

    i really wanted to do it, so i PMd him and said i'd volunteer.  He sent the link and i downloaded it, and read it.  Not just once, but many times. 

    i started writing, and my first attempt was darn close to the syllable count (57577 is what a Tanka should be): 

     

    the lights on the tree 
    sparkle and dance bring 
    butterflies to my stomach 
    waiting for the morning 
    was never my strength 

     

    But there wasn't anything that tied together why waiting until morning is hard, and there was a hard stop after the third line, so back to the drawing board.  The next attempt is a bit better but the syllable count is still off and there's still that pesky hard stop: 

      

    the lights on the tree 

    sparkle and dance on 

    on the packages below, 

    i'm giddy inside 

    to see what's in them 

     

    Whenever i had some quiet, or some downtime, i'd open the document and start to noodle around with it.  i kept in touch with AC and shared some of my work. 

    He was, as he always is, gentle and supportive in his critiques and his guidance. 

    i thought a lot about his last email to me where he talked about how a person can say the same thing in many different ways, that blending of just the right words i talked about earlier.  He said that putting the words in one order sounds like "everyday speech" but moving the exact same words around can make it musical.  He went on to say that it takes practice, and that anyone writing poetry has to just write a lot to get a feel for it. 

     

    Here's the final evolution: 

     

    from across the room 

    the brightly wrapped packages 

    reflect the lights from 

    the tree above and i can't 

    wait to see what hides inside 

     

     

    i used the "self-check" tool that was in the prompt, and it seemed to check out.  AC  agreed.  He also reminded me not to be too hard on myself as writing poetry takes work, and practice.  Then, as is his style, he invited me to revisit this when the new prompts come out.

     

    Am i glad i did the prompt challenge? Yes, i am.  There were several times when i just wanted to stop, to give up.  i was getting frustrated that i couldn't get it. But it's not in me to do that, so i did the best i could.  Could i keep working at it?  Sure, but i think i have learned what i needed to. And  i gained some insight into the process, and  perhaps a better appreciation for the poets among us. 

     

    Will you be looking at the new prompts?

     

     

     

     

     

  8. This has been on my mind off and on for a while. There are writers of all stripes and there is an entire spectrum of ways to offer criticism and a matching spectrum of ways to deal with receiving criticism. Probably the first one many writers get has to do with punctuation. I remember well the first time someone said 'neat story, but you need an editor.' My first thought? Screw you! Which I guess brings me to my first point - being polite.

     

    Every single work of mine has issues and I know it. Every time I re-read something, I find something new. I'm often amazed at the number of eyes that go over a story and something still slips by. I'm convinced there are typo gremlins that adjust files before posting. Being told 'You need an editor' may be very true, but kind of rotten to say on its own. As time has passed I may ask if the author has thought of using beta readers or editors because I find my work improves so much with the extra input.

     

    Next, though more subjective, is the substance of a story. Given I write gay fiction there is a good chance that the characters I write about most will get together. This doesn't surprise folks. As someone I just exchanged messages with pointed out, it's more about the journey. That journey can have a lot of things happen between the first and last page and, for me, this is where beta readers come in. For me a good beta reader points out things (hey, he was Steve three lines ago, now you're calling him Simon) that you may have missed or changed by accident. I write along, looking at my keyboard as I go (don't judge!) and I have the scene playing out in my head and try to transfer it to the screen before I forget something. Like having another person in the room I didn't name or something that sort of ruins the whole thing.

     

    So with a beta reader, I try to knock down some of the criticism that would occur when reading something, especially items an alert reader might read and have them get jerked right out of the story. That also brings me to editors, which fill that role in my head of telling you where that comma ought to go instead of where you put it. No, not there.

     

    I had an editor who I shall not mention here because I'm going to try and get her to edit for me again, one day. But in my earlier work I'd write something like: "Says something," He coughed. If you're scratching your head, it's been pounded into me since that action, like the cough, is punctuated differently than 'he said'. To whit: "Says something." He coughed vs. "Said something," he said, and coughed. If your editor is pointing out the same mistake over and over, you may lose your editor if you don't at least make an effort to get better at fixing your own work. As a reader, especially with the lessons I've gotten from my editors, bad spelling or grammar will take away from my enjoying the story.

     

    That brings me to 'Look past that and just see the great story in there!' No. I'm sorry, it really doesn't (normally) work that way. Think of the last great movie you saw. Do you have any idea how much it could have been mangled by a poor editor? Or better still, the credit that film editor deserves for getting that great movie experience to you? It works very similarly in writing. If things are poorly punctuated it can change the meaning of sentences or paragraphs, leave you wondering who was speaking or acting in a given situation as a couple of for instances. This also brings me to the idea of listening to others. Not to the point you change who you are or your style, perhaps, but one of the great things that comes from a large writing community is the ideas people present. If you, as a writer, say 'I took a writing class and they said what you're saying is wrong' then you're kind of locking yourself in. There are tons of writing styles and no one, single right way exists for all people (except spelling and punctuation, folks) so be open to the ideas even if, ultimately, you don't use them.

     

    So that kind of brings us to - when do I critique something? That's a toughie. If I offer my thoughts, I choose to do it privately. Not because I know better, but because they are impressions. Recently someone said something to me that I can agree with, and I paraphrase - if you post online, you're asking for feedback. Good, bad or in-between. I love reading comments - especially speculation, but one comment sticks out for me:

     

    Well, I knew this was coming. I knew deep down Sean was just an asshole that was using Asher. Say what u will, but that's the truth. I think that Sean deserves way worse than just an STD. The fact that Asher forgave him was heartbreaking. To think that Asher thinks a lowlife piece of shit like Sean is all he can get. He deserves so much more. The end with he and Asher back together was pretty disappointing.

     

    As a writer, I loved the passion. Also as the writer, I was disappointed with myself because I didn't get the message across of who the character was and hadn't made him someone the reader could identify with. Not all readers can identify with a character, it's just not possible, yet that's the goal, isn't it?

     

    So, when do we critique? I think errors, feedback about confusing paragraphs should be done in private. If you're going to critique the whole thing, might be good to have some sort of rapport with the author (I break this one and never learn). If you see a spot where the story could have gone two ways, get on the message board. Start a discussion. No matter how many roads an author has envisioned, he can't see every possibility. Maybe what you say gets stored and used at a later date. A critique is like a good chat, a nice discussion over tea or coffee or beer. It's not personal.

  9. I wrote this article for Reddit just for the hell of it.

    ***

    Someone posted earlier about the annoying amount of over-development and suburban sprawl in Delaware. I thought it would be interesting to go a little bit over the reasons why the system is set up like the way it is, and how the forces of suburbanization have made Delaware into the bedroom community it is today.

     

    Wilmington developed at a steady pace throughout the 1800's- especially during the Civil War, which the du Pont Company really flourished as at the time they were known for gun powder. In 1864, a horse railcar line was developed around Delaware Avenue, which allowed for Wilmington residential development to expand out towards the "country", and leafy residential neighborhoods began to sprout. Note that this would be a continuing pattern for Wilmington's elite- building pretty "country" houses and pushing north of Wilmington.

     

    Soon, the railroad came, as well as the trolley car. This allowed for Wilmington's first official suburb, Elsmere, which was developed in 1886 by Joshua Heald for working middle-class families. Though there were talks for Wilmington annexing Elsmere into their city boundaries, Elsmere had incorporated as its own town by 1909. Wilmington couldn't really do much about it, because they had a weak city charter and New Castle County government would thwart them time after time whenever they tried to expand their borders.

     

    World War I and World War II brought continued prosperity to Wilmington, which reached 112k in population by 1940. Again, given that Wilmington had a weak city charter that made it hard for them to annex surrounding land into their city, a lot of residential development began to spill out of the borders of Wilmington, which was made even easier by the car. It was around this time that the prosperous North Wilmington suburbs were developed, originally for the du Pont company chemists and their families. (Think Alapocas, Greenville, Talleyville, etc.)

    Meanwhile, the more solidly middle-class suburban development continued out from Elsemere along the newly built Kirkwood Highway. Newark, which had been a relatively small town throughout most of its history, also exploded in population, going from just 6k people in 1950 to over 20k by 1970. The first wave of suburban sprawl began to hit the Newark area as areas such as Brookside were developed.

     

    As the 1950's continued and gave way to the 1960's, suburban development and flight from Wilmington continued. There are a couple of factors for this. The first is that the building of I-95 required demolition of several city neighborhoods, which destabilized the entire area and also made it even easier for people who worked in Wilmington to commute from the suburbs. The second is that the G.I. Bill, which returning WWII vets were using to buy homes, strongly favored new construction in the suburbs as opposed to the older housing stock. Third, the returning G.I.'s and their wives would give birth to what is known as the Baby Boomer Generation. This cohort was so large that entire children-consumer industries sprang up. These G.I.'s preferred to raise their kids in their suburbs, continuing the suburban flight from Wilmington. Finally, the perception of Wilmington being unsafe stemmed from the Wilmington riots of 1968, which led to most of suburban Delaware turning their backs on Wilmington and never looking back. From the 1950's through the 1980's, Wilmington's population would drop from 95k in 1950, down to about 70k by 1990, which is more or less where the population has stabilized.

     

    In the late 1970's, Christiana Mall began to be developed, which drove more development. The success of that mall meant that developers have clamored to build retail in the areas surrounding the mall since, hoping to capture that success as well- you see that today with the new Christiana Fashion Center. The building of nearby Christiana Hospital in 1984-1985 would also be a major driver of development in that region. Another biggie would be MBNA, which was founded in 1982 and became a massive behomoth of a suburban office complex in Ogletown.

     

    Ah, yes, we can't forget about banks, which began a boom in Delaware in the 1980's due to laws passed in 1981 that were favorable to banks. This did in fact led to a lot of office development in Wilmington, but the Baby Boomer bankers preferred living in the suburbs to living in the city. I mean, there were some city neighborhoods that got revived (think 40 Acres/Trolley Square) but by and large the affluence that was being driven by the banking boom of the 80's/90's was going out into the suburbs instead of being invested into the city. At least, beyond the gleaming office towers.

    The next round of suburban development (the 1980's-1990's) would take place around the Bear/Glasgow area. Originally cheap farmland (this area was big on horses), it became known for townhomes and cookie cutter housing developments. On the more upscale side, the affluent developments around Hockessin began to pop up as well. Both of these areas were not incorporated, which meant that developers did not need to go through city laws/city councils in order to get their developments approved- just having to deal with the city. I grew up in Bear during the 2000's, and I remember my jaw dropping when someone told me that Bear had largely been the "country" back in the 80's. You can still see some remnants of its past (I remember seeing some horse farms close to Old Porter Road) but man.

     

    Anyway, another really, really huge factor in the suburban sprawl deal in Delaware comes up in the 1990's. That would be the construction of Route 1. Originally built to bypass Route 13 and create a faster route to the beach, this would help the MOT area (Middletown, Odessa, Townsend) explode in population, as it was now a more convenient area to commute from. Middletown had 3k people in 1990, now it's up to over 20k, and that's just within the city limits. One difference in the suburban sprawl story of Middletown is that the mayor of the 1990's actually set this in motion on purpose, because Middletown was a dying farming town. The town began to aggressively annex surrounding areas so they would benefit from the building of the housing developments and strip malls. This would led to Middletown's population growing by 206 percent between 2000 to 2010. Not that there hasn't been some pushback- in 1999 Middletown residents rejected a school referendum purely as an attempt to stop the suburban development, but of course, it didn't really work.

     

    Route 1 has been a major driver of suburban development all across the state for the past 20 years. I lived in Dover from 2005-2006, and I remember there was a lot of suburbs getting built around the former farmland. Downstate also saw a lot of this growth, particularly with the beach areas, although that growth hasn't extended out to the western part of Sussex County.

    One thing that began to happen, especially during that 2000's real estate boom, is that developers in New Castle County started talking about "re-developing" golf courses, nature preserves, and former office complexes, particularly in the more crowded part above the canal. One particularly nasty fight occurred when the Stoltz Company wanted to build a 13-story tower in Greenville at the former Barley Mill Office complex, and basically the residents banded together to sue them 'til kingdom come until those plans were dropped. Another really controversial move has been talk abut re-developing the Newark Country Club, which has been bandied about for at least the past 15 years but it keeps getting thwarted. I also remember there were some whispers about developing in Bellevue Park around this area, although I don't know if that came to fruition.

     

    The Great Recession did put a damper for a while for suburban development in Delaware. Development has come back, but if you notice, a lot of what's getting built currently are townhomes aimed at seniors as well as apartment buildings. (Notably, the Newark student apartment buildings that everyone likes to bitch about.) You're not seeing as many plans for McMansion developments the way you would have back in the 90's and the 2000's.

     

    Anyways...

    1.) Delaware has always been a really convenient place to travel through when it comes to go to Philly, D.C./Baltimore, or New York City. This convenience has only increased with the building of roads like I-95 and Route 1. (Probably the new 301 is really going to jumpstart some new suburban sprawl as well.)

    2.) Delaware has historically stayed away from compact urban development. Newark was originally a sleepy town that had a small college. Dover was small town until the 1970's. A lot of Delaware was rural for most of our history. (Still shocked at the thought of Bear being a sleepy little farming community as recently as the 80's.) Our only "big" city is Wilmington, and even when they had 100k residents, they weren't building tall apartment buildings- note the row-homes and townhomes.

    3.) Developers like building on flat, open spaces, which Delaware had/has a lot of because we had so many farms. And we are largely on the Atlantic Coastal plain.

    4.) Wilmington lost 40k people in the course of about 50 years, and been unable to entice people to come back. One interesting fact- in 1940, Wilmington had 112k people. Delaware itself only had 266k people. That means that over 40 percent of the entire state of Delaware lived in Wilmington in 1940. Now that percentage is down to about 7 percent!

    5.) Government, especially in New Castle County, has a really, really hard time saying no to developers. There's also this mindset of not thinking ahead. I've learned in the Memories of Newark group that in the 1960's, the Newark City Council was floating the idea of building a by-pass that would have gone around the Main Street area. Sort of similar to what's going on right now with the 301, which is going to by-pass the current 301 that goes through Middletown. It was floated because at the time, Newark was booming, and the traffic problems we see today started to appear. However, the city council voted it down because they thought it was unnecessary. Today, the proposed bypass would be impossible because most of that land got developed, so Newarkers today basically have to pay for the mistakes that were made 50 years ago. And you see similar stories to that again and again- developers getting their way and our government not making them put in the infrastructure needed because they don't want to lose the development deals.

     

    So yeah, there you have it. It's basically almost inevitable that Delaware basically is the way it is. We're basically just reaping what Elsmere sowed back in the early 1900's when they refused to become part of Wilmington because they didn't want to pay city taxes.

    TL;DR: Delaware's life as a suburban bedroom community is the result of forces that were set in motion as early as the 19th century.

    Edited...looks like people want some sources so here's a couple:

    "Corporate Capital- Wilmington in the 20th Century" by Carol Hoffecker, Temple University Press, 1983.

    Wilmington DE population

    Newark DE Population

    Dover DE Historical Population

    Delaware population figures

    Middletown DE Wikpedia Page

    Save Our County- Website for the group that fought the Stoltz Company tooth and nail over the proposed Greenville development

    Push for country park on former orphanage site remains strong, Newark Post Online 2017

    West Main Street Residents Want By-pass, Newark Post Achives September 2,1994

    Christiana Fashion Center's first phase on target, Delaware Business Times March 2015

    Northern Delaware's Christiana Mall remains resistant to retail's rough patch, BisNow 2018

    Banking Haven- Washington Post 1983

    Middletown, Delaware Annexing Farmland- New York Times 1990

    Market Street Renaissance- Out & About, October 2015

    Developers Target Delaware Golf Courses January 2016

    ***

    Growing up as suburban kid...I wouldn't have it any other way. I fucking LOVED hanging out at the mall growing up. I don't know if I would have liked being a city kid, or being in some small cow town or something.

  10. Carlos Hazday
    Latest Entry

    By Carlos Hazday,

    Here we go again, folks. Another installment of your questions being answered by GA authors. Have you sent me a question to pass along already? No? Why? I never reveal who send in the questions so you need not be embarrassed of anything you may want to ask. Hell, once I send the question to the author, I delete the message so I don’t even know who asks most of them in. I’m old and my memory’s deficient.

    With twenty-eight stories and over 800,000 words posted in a little over two years, @Geron Kees could be the poster-child for prolific authors. His varied output has garnered a multitude of fans and this month lands him on Ask an Author with a question form one of his many followers.

    I enjoy your writing very much and I appreciate that your stories span different categories including sci-fi. ROYGBIV, The Road of Dreams, and The Frost Covered Marker are a few of my favorites. Your stories though are all young adult/teen. What is it that appeals you to that genre?  What is the most difficult thing about writing from the teenaged perspective?

     

    And just because we can’t be serious all the time: what is the most embarrassing thing that you’ve ever worn? 

     

    Hmm. Very nice to hear that you have enjoyed the stories.

     

    I began my 'gay' life quite young. I grew to age nine in a suburb of Amsterdam, Netherlands, where the 'gay revolution' had already come to pass. Gay teens were open about their lifestyles, and as a youngster I was quite curious about it all. I and my best friend knew an older teen in the next block who was 16 and gay, and we started to pester him about what exactly it was that 'gay' guys did together. He finally got annoyed enough with our persistence to tell us. My friend and I were quite amazed, and curious, and...just not all that timid, I guess.

     

    I came to the US when I was nine, and was simply amazed at the backward state of sexual affairs here. Amazed and horrified, actually. But I soon learned that there was still gay life around, it was just all undercover. I found myself a boyfriend by the time I was 13, and never really looked back.

     

    I started writing on a dare. I was recounting some of the adventures of my youth to friends here, and one said I should "write that stuff down." I did, and submitted the results to Nifty, the only site I was aware of at that time. The response really astonished me. I just couldn't get over the fact that people would like to read about this! But, again, I never looked back. I soon found other sites to post on, and here we are.

     

    I have written some adult gay fiction, but I have not published it. Not yet anyway. The night is still young, as they say.

     

    I am more than a little saddened by the amount of misery prevalent in so many stories of gay youth. Growing up gay in America was tough for a lot of people. Through luck or circumstance, my life has not been laden with such misfortune. My teens were actually quite wonderful for me, and I enjoy sharing that sense with others , that being a gay young person need not always be so challenging. Sometimes, it's pretty darn nice!

     

    I really don't find it terribly challenging to write about teens. They're people, like anybody else. I was one, you were one. It's just about remembering what that was like. As I said, for me it was a very nice time of life. 

     

    The adult world is more complex, and more challenging, I think. I do write those types of stories when the urge strikes me, but it simply is not as much fun, and I mostly write for fun. But...you never know.

     

    As for the most embarrassing thing I have ever worn? Well, you have to understand first that European values are different from American ones. When I first came to the US, I wore some clothing that was perfectly fine at 'home;' but which didn't go over as well here. Not quite enough of it, as it turned out. Very short shorts, for one thing. But I learned, and changed.

     

    But I have never been bashful about myself, so I don't become embarrassed easily. I guess the most embarrassing thing I ever wore in retrospect was in sixth grade, when a few friends and I appeared in front of the entire school dressed in nothing but loincloths and feathers and performed some Native American dances we had learned. Not a Native American among us, either, but the dances went over big, and girls followed us around for weeks afterwards. And, um, a few guys, too. 

     

    Thanks for your interest.

     

    @Defiance19 took many of us by surprise when she shared her first story on GA. It was so well written, technically and thematically, some of us felt she had been holding out on us. Subsequent offerings have not disappointed. On a personal note, Def has followed my series from the beginning, leaves me wonderful comments, and has more than once served as a sounding board for when my characters are in New York. I had the pleasure of meeting her earlier this year (she helped me celebrate my 60th) and I can tell you she’s even lovelier in person than in cyberspace.

    You've written several short pieces, which are really very good. Do you see a longer project in the future? 

     

    First off, whaat? So surprised, but I’m grateful to be included by whomever submitted this question.  Thank you! 

     

    I write the short stories mostly because it allows me to focus on a theme, and there’s a due by date. I do have ideas, and have things written toward a longer serial story goal. But also, other than second guessing myself I need to have a better writing discipline. Hopefully soon, I will have something completed. This is great motivation.

     

    Thank you again, for your question.

     

    Having written about a dozen stories based in Washington, D.C. you would think I would have asked @oat327 for help at some point. However, I didn’t discover he was a resident of the District until recently. Had I known before, I could have asked him to hit Uproar on a Thursday night and meet with the Scandals Rugby Football Club after their practice to provide me with background info. Nah, who am I kidding? I’m glad I did it myself but I’ll definitely invite him to join me next time I’m in the city.

    The Best Four Years of Adam Becker sees Adam trying to come to terms with his sexuality, and finding out who he is and how he fits, all while attending college. 

     

    What are some of the things that get edited out of the story? Was your college experience anything like Becker’s?

     

    Honestly, my college experience was very similar; Tulane was a trip. I actually started this piece as a kind of way to kind of memorialize my college years, and much of the first few chapters especially are pulled directly from real life. The racially-tinged car accident en route from Ben and Jerry’s, Erik’s crazy roommate that they try to integrate into the group, weekends starting on Tuesdays at Bruno’s or The Boot, the ludicrous fraternity politics—all actually happened. Basically, I like to think of this as being a true story in the details; the main plot is generally fictional (I didn’t have a Kevin until after college, sadly) but everything else is generally being pretty accurate. Everything still follows the general arc of my college years.  

     

    What gets edited out... considering this story is already about 150,000 words long, probably not nearly enough. In retrospect, I wish my editing had been a little tighter at the beginning; I think there are a lot of things in the early chapters that were fun memories for me but aren’t all that relevant to the plot. Once Becker met Kevin, I got a bit better with keeping focus. Most of what we lose is Becker's relationship with his friends. (Which is sad, because Tripp is my favorite character and I always feel guilty for neglecting him.) College is so much dicking around in other people’s dorms and doing absolutely nothing--that's how Becker probably spends 90% of his time and we definitely miss that.

     

    I’ll close this month with @JohnAR. The Germany-based author created a universe full of all sort of critters defying the usual vampire/werewolf tropes found in most stories. He struck a chord with readers and his weekly posts were eagerly anticipated by his fans.

    I was curious as to why he chose a shifter story to write, and how he came to write such a different shifter story.

     

    Some years ago I was stationed in a far-away country with little attraction of the male kind, so I read lots of ‘enticing’ books. And like in overall popular culture, the werewolf/vampire theme was ubiquitous.

     

    Unfortunately, most of the stories were so formulaic I got bored quickly: A big, young, hairy, dark Alpha wolf finds ‘his and only his’ gentle, blond, smooth, submissive Omega pup, takes him as his own rather forcefully as he cannot live without him (her?) anymore, and f***ks him (her?) raw happily ever after. I discovered that most of these male Alpha wolf/kind-of-male Omega wolf stories were written by women and for women (I think Colt explains that better in book MetaOrigins). The only exception are the ‘Tameness of the Wolf’ books, though those have too much sex (if that is possible).

     

    However, when I found that a gay author used exactly the same set-up I decided that I had enough and started to write a story that would break with all of those for me dreadful cliché characters. Hence, I created an Alpha that isn’t dark-haired and doesn’t get to do the f***ing, an enforcer that likes all sweet things but trips on pain, and a Beta that loves playing women for his pack’s advantage, but is the ultimate power bottom. This is crowned by the contrarian hero nerd who in no other book would ever get to do the unspeakable things he does to his pack wolves in Meta – after all he has to take one for the team, doesn’t he?

     

    Once those characters were set, my mean imagination did most of the rest; occasionally conflagrated by the cute expectations of my readers which I enjoyed to crush with OCD precision.

     

    That’s it for this month, my friends. If you wish to ensure this feature remains alive, don’t forget to send me a question for any GA author. I have one more month in inventory but after that…

  11. DQDk556.jpg

     

     

    TRACK LISTING

    1. Computer Game (Yellow Magic Orchestra) - The Arcade
    2. High Score Summer (Arcade High) - Matt Meets Sam
    3. Digital Love (Daft Punk) - “Why Don’t You Play The Game?”
    4. Ready To Start (Arcade Fire) - Matt Levels Up
    5. Slow (Kylie Minogue) - The Body Game, No Batteries Required
    6. Boom, Boom (Let’s Go Back To My Room) (Paul Lekakis) -  Scoring Tyler
    7. No ‘I’ In Threesome (Interpol) - Matt + Sam + Tyler = Mamler
    8. Moments In Love (Art Of Noise) - Manage A Toir
    9. Behind The Mask (Yellow Magic Orchestra) - Taking On ‘The Green Monster’ Game Boss
    10. Goodbye (FM-84) - The Threesome Breaks Up
    11. Innocence (Electric Youth) - Suddenly Becoming Too Old For Games
    12. Send Me An Angel (Groovecatcher Cover Of Real Life) - Tyler Meets Ariel
    13. Young & Unafraid - Robert DeLong Mix (The Moth & The Flame) - The Courage True Love Brings
    14. 21st Century Digital Boy (Bad Religion) - Matt Gets His Game Back On
    15. Why Did I Say Goodbye (Tommy ‘86) - Sam Comes Back To Play
    16. Look Into My Eyes (Arcade High) - Sam Meets Matt Again For The First Time
    17. Put Your Money On Me (Arcade Fire) - Matt Learns To Bet And Win
    18. The Comeback Kid (The Midnight) - Matt Comes Back
    19. Running To You (Arcade High) - Sam and Matt, Playmates Forever
    20. Arcade Summer (FM-84) - ‘The Sun Still Shines Bright On Our Arcade Summer’

    ————————————

    Computer Game (Yellow Magic Orchestra) - The Arcade

     

    Electronic Overture

     

    High Score Summer (Arcade High) - Matt Meets Sam

     

    Electronic Tenderness

     

    Digital Love (Daft Punk) - “Why Don’t You Play The Game?”

     

    [Verse 1]

    Last night I had a dream about you

    In this dream, I'm dancing right beside you

    And it looked like everyone was having fun

    The kind of feeling I've waited so long

     

    [Verse 2]

    Don't stop, come a little closer
    As we jam, the rhythm gets stronger
    There's nothing wrong with just a little little fun
    We were dancing all night long

    The time is right to put my arms around you
    You're feeling right, you wrap your arms around too
    But suddenly I feel the shining sun
    Before I knew it, this dream was all gone

     

    [Verse 3]

    Ooh, I don't know what to do

    About this dream and you

    I wish this dream comes true

    Ooh, I don't know what to do
    About this dream and you
    We'll make this dream come true

     

    [Interlude]

     

    [Outro]

    Why don't you play the game?
    Why don't you play the game?

     

    Ready To Start (Arcade Fire) - Matt Levels Up

     

    Businessmen drink my blood

    Like the kids in art school said they would

    And I guess I'll just begin again

    You say you, can we still be friends

     

    If I was scared

    I would

    And if I was bored

    You know I would

    And if I was yours

    Well I'm not

     

    All the kids have always known

    That the emperor wears no clothes

    But to bow to down to them anyway

    Is better than being alone

     

    If I was scared

    I would

    And if I was bored

    You know I would

    And if I was yours

    But I'm not

     

    Now you're knocking at my door

    Saying please come out against tonight

    But I would rather be alone

    Than pretend I feel alright

     

    If the businessmen drink my blood

    Like the kids in art school said they would

    Then I guess I'll just begin again

    You say you can still be friends

     

    If I was scared

    I would

    And if I was pure

    You know I would

    And if I was yours

    But I'm not

    Now I'm ready to start

    If I was scared

    I would

     

    And if I was pure

    You know I would

    And if I was yours

    But I'm not

     

    Now I'm ready to start

    Now I'm ready to start

     

    I would rather be wrong

    Than live in the shadows of your song

    My mind is open wide

     

    And now I'm ready to start

    Now I'm ready to start

     

    My mind is open wide

    And now I'm ready to start

    Your mind surely opened the door

    To step out into the dark

     

    Now I'm ready

     

    Slow (Kylie Minogue) - The Body Game, No Batteries Required

        

    Knew you'd be here tonight

    So I put my best dress on

    Boy I was so right

    Our eyes connected

    Now nothin's how it used to be

    No second guesses

    Trackin' on this feelin'

    Pull focus close up you and me

    Nobody's leavin'

     

    Got me affected

    Spun me one eighty degrees

    So electric

     

    Slow down and dance with me, yeah, slow

    Skip a beat and move with my body, yeah, slow

    Come on and dance with me, yeah, slow

    Skip a beat and move with my body, yeah, slow

     

    Don't wanna rush it

    Let the rhythm pull you in

    It's here so touch it

    You know what I'm sayin'

    And I haven't said a thin'

    Keep the record playin'

     

    Slow down and dance with me, yeah, slow

    Skip a beat and move with my body, yeah, slow

    Come on and dance with me, yeah, slow

    Skip a beat and move with my body, yeah, slow

     

    Oh, oh, read my body language

    Take it down, down

     

    Slow down and dance with me, yeah, slow

    Skip a beat and move with my body, yeah, slow

    Come on and dance with me, yeah, slow

    (Slow down and dance with me)

    Skip a beat and move with my body, yeah, slow

     

    (Slow down and dance with me)

    Skip a beat and move with my body

    Skip a beat and move with my body

    Skip a beat and move with my body

    Slow

     

    Boom, Boom (Let’s Go Back To My Room) (Paul Lekakis) -  Scoring Tyler

     

    Hey baby I'd like to talk to you 

    How about coming back to my room for a little boom boom

     

    You keep coming to me 

    I can dig your dynamite 

    Know the way you move 

    Get in the groove 

    You're driving me crazy, crazy for you

     

    Second time you moved me 

    It's time for us to Boom Boom 

    You can come right close to me 

    And feel the burning fire 

     

    All the time you got me 

    It's fine for us to boom boom 

    If you see the spark in me 

    And feel my strong desire

     

    Boom Boom Boom 

    Let's go back to my room 

    So we can do it all night 

    And you can make me feel right

    Boom Boom Boom 

    Let's go back to my room 

    So we can do it all night 

    And you can make me feel right

     

    Do the honor to me 

    Don't you know I like to bite 

    Get to the view 

    Closer to you 

     

    You're driving me crazy, crazy for you

    Second time you moved me 

    It's time for us to Boom Boom 

    You can come right close to me 

     

    And feel the burning fire 

    All the time you got me 

    It's fine for us to boom boom 

    If you see the spark in me 

    And feel my strong desire

     

    Boom Boom Boom 

    Let's go back to my room 

    So we can do it all night 

    And you can make me feel right

    Boom Boom Boom 

    Let's go back to my room 

    So we can do it all night 

    And you can make me feel right

     

    No ‘I’ In Threesome (Interpol) - Matt + Sam + Tyler = Mamler

     

    Through the storms and the lie

    Baby, you stood by my side

    And life is wine

    But there are days in this life

    When you see the teeth marks of time

     

    Two lovers divide

    Sound meets sound, babe

    Her echoes, they surround

    And all that we need is one thing

    Now what is there to allow?

     

    Babe, it's time we gave something new a try

    All alone we may fight, so just let us be free

    And, baby, tonight

    I see your lips are on fire

     

    And life is wine

    Now the windows are open, the moon is so bright

    There's no one who can tell us

    What love brings for you and I

    Sound meets sound, babe

    The echoes, they surround

     

    And all that we need is one thing

    Now what is there to allow?

    Babe, it's time we give something new a try

    All alone we may fight, so just let us be free tonight

    Through the storms and the lie

    Baby, you stood by my side

     

    And life is wine

    You feel the sweet breath of time

    It's whispering its truth, not mine

    There's no "I" in threesome

    And I am all for it!

     

    Babe, it's time we give something new a try

    All alone we may fight, and feathers bend like trees in the moonlight

    Babe, it's time we give something new a try

    All alone we may fight, so just let us be free tonight

     

    Moments In Love (Art Of Noise) - Manage A Toir

     

            Moments In Love - Now!

     

    Behind The Mask (Yellow Magic Orchestra) - 

    Taking On ‘The Green Monster’ Game Boss

     

    [Verse 1]

    Now the mask you're wearing

    Is stoney and staring

    Lines and tears, age and fears

    Growing old, passions cold

     

    Now the mask you're wearing

    Is stoney and staring

    Lines and tears, age and fears

    Growing old, passions cold

     

    [Verse 2]

    There's nothing in your eyes

    That marks where you cried

    All is blank, all is blind

    Dead inside, the inner mind

     

    There's nothing in your eyes

    That marks where you cried

    All is blank, all is blind

    Dead inside, the inner mind

     

    [Outro]

    Is it me

    Is it you

    Behind this mask, I ask

     

    Goodbye (FM-84) - The Threesome Breaks Up

     

    As summer fades away 

    Lost in a cloudless haze 

    Just hold me and touch a wave 

    There’s no more we need to say 

     

    Yet I don’t want to say goodbye 

    And I don’t want to see you cry 

     

    And now it’s too late to say goodbye 

    Now I love you 

    And now it’s too late to say goodbye 

    It’s not over 

     

    We’re caught in a moment 

    Lost in a summer breeze 

    Moving in circles 

    As light flickers on the sea 

     

    Now I don’t want to say goodbye 

    And I don’t want to see you cry 

     

    And now it’s too late to say goodbye 

    Now I love you 

    And now it’s too late to say goodbye 

    It’s not over 

    And now it’s too late to say goodbye 

    Ohh na na ohh 

    I know it’s too late to say goodbye 

    Now we’re forever

     

    Innocence (Electric Youth) - Suddenly Becoming Too Old For Games

     

    You catch a shooting star

    You tell me make a wish

    Your word is all I know

    But if the plane is moving fast

    Please secure your mask

    Before you put mine on

     

    And now the rain is falling 

    The truth is bittersweet

    A different voice is calling

    Where have you gone sweet innocence?

    Where have you gone sweet innocence?

     

    Now you ask me what to say

    It used to be your way

    Was the only way I'd known

    But when the table starts to turn

    The teacher starts to learn

    The child starts to grow

     

    And now the rain is falling

    The truth is bittersweet

    A different voice is calling

    Where have you gone sweet innocence?

    Where have you gone sweet innocence?

    I Wonder

     

    Send Me An Angel (Groovecatcher Cover Of Real Life) - Tyler Meets Ariel

     

    Reprise from ‘new kid in school’

     

    Young & Unafraid - Robert DeLong Mix (The Moth & The Flame) - 

    The Courage True Love Brings

     

    Reprise from ‘Kiss Of An Angel’

     

    21st Century Digital Boy (Bad Religion) - Matt Gets His Game Back On

     

    I can't believe it

    The way you look sometimes

    Like a trampled flag on a city street

    Oh yeah

     

    And I don't want it

    The things you're offering me

    Symbolized barcode, quick I.D

    Oh yeah

     

    'Cause I'm a twenty-first century digital boy

    I don't know how to live but I got a lot of toys

    My daddy's a lazy middle-class intellectual

    My mommy's on Valium, so ineffectual

    Ain't life a mystery, yeah?

     

    I can't explain it

    The things you're're saying to me

    It's going yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

    Oh yeah

     

    'Cause I'm a twenty-first century digital boy

    I don't know how to read but I got a lot of toys

    My daddy's a lazy middle-class intellectual

    My mommy's on Valium, so ineffectual, oh

    Ain't life a mystery, yeah?

     

    Tried to tell you about no control

    But now I really don't know

    And then you told me how bad you had to suffer

    Is that really all you have to offer?

     

    'Cause I'm a twenty-first century digital boy

    I don't know how to live but I got a lot of toys

    My daddy's a lazy middle-class intellectual

    My mommy's on Valium, so ineffectual, yeah

    cats, sports, iron claw

     

    (Twenty-first century digital boy) neurosurgeon screams for more

    (Twenty-first century digital boy) innocents raped with napalm fire

    (Twenty-first century digital boy) everything I want, I really need

    Ain't life a mystery, yeah?

     

     

    Why Did I Say Goodbye (Tommy ‘86) - Sam Comes Back To Play

     

    My telephone is playing dead

    I'm hearing voices in my head

     

    I'm going through the words I said

    They replay

     

    I sit on benches in the park

     

    I'm lighting candles in the dark

    I came alone cuz you're too far

    gone away

     

    I did something wrong and I'm

    wondering why

    Why did I let go

    Why did I say goodbye?

     

    I have a void I try to fill

    I was your soulmate although still

    I didn't realize until It was over

    I wish I could slip back in time

    When we were one and all was fine

    But it's too late to make us chime

     

    Love is over

     

    I did something wrong and I'm

    wondering why

    Why did I let go

    Why did I say goodbye?

     

    I did something wrong and I'm

    wondering why

    Why did I let go

    Why did I say goodbye?

    Why did I let go?

    I did something wrong and I'm

    wondering why

    Why did I let go

    Why did I say goodbye?

     

    Look Into My Eyes (Arcade High) - Sam Meets Matt Again For The First Time

     

    Tenderer Electronic Tenderness

     

    Put Your Money On Me (Arcade Fire) - Matt Learns To Bet And Win

     

    Put your money on me

    'Cause I can barely breathe

    Put your money on me

    Put your money on me

    If you think I'm losing you, you must be crazy

    All your money on me

     

    I'm never gonna let you go, even when it's easy

    Put your money on me

    Go tuck me into bed, and wake me when I'm dead

    I know that you gotta be free

    But I'm never gonna let it go

     

    If there was a race

    A race for your heart

    It started before you were born

    Above the chloroform sky

    Clouds made of Ambien

    Sitting on carpets in the basement of heaven

     

    We were born innocent, but it lies today

    And baby you can give all the money away

    But if there's a race, a race for your heart

    It's over, before it starts

    Singing put your money on me

    If you think I'm losing you, you must be crazy

    All your money on me

    I'm never gonna let you go, even when it's easy

     

    Put your money on me

    Go tuck me into bed, and wake me when I'm dead

    I know that you gotta be free

    But I'm never gonna let it go

     

    All my presents are broken, before they're open

    And the promises, the second they're spoken

    I know I've been different

    My skin keeps shedding

     

    My mother was crying on the day of our wedding

    Trumpets of angels call for my head

    But I fight through the ether and I quit when I'm dead

    If you want to know who'll be there in the end

    When you bury me baby, I'll still be your friend

    Singing put your money on me

     

    If you think I'm losing you, you must be crazy

    All your money on me

    I'm never gonna let you go, even when it's easy

    Put your money on me

    Go tuck me into bed, and wake me when I'm dead

    I know that you gotta be free

     

    But I'm never gonna let it go

    Singing put your money on all your money on me

    I know it's not the last time

    Put your money on all your money on me

    (Put your money on me) I know it's not easy

    The Silicon Valleys melted back into silicon

    We'll find a way to survive

     

    Singing put your money on me

    If you think I'm losing you, you must be crazy

    All your money on me (All your money on me)

    I'm never gonna let you go, even when it's easy

    Put your money on me (Put your money on me)

    Go tuck me into bed, then wake me when I'm dead

    I know that you gotta be free (I know that you gotta be free)

    But I'm never gonna let it go

     

    Singing put your money on all your money on me

    (Put your money on me) I know it's not the last time

    Put your money on all your money on me (put your money on)

    I know it's not easy

     

    Put your money on all your money on me

    (Put your money on) I know it's not the last time

    Put your money on all your money on me

    I know it's not easy

     

    The Comeback Kid (The Midnight) - Matt Comes Back

     

    i been so low 

    felt the wind blow 

    like i was a screen door 

    in a thunderstorm 

     

    yeah i've been down 

    i've been laid out 

    but you always were 

    what I came here for 

     

    waiting all day 

    waiting all day 

    just for my say 

    for a bell to ring 

    for the first sting 

     

    Yeah I been blue 

    that ain’t nothing new 

    it’s you my friend 

    you’re why I get up again 

     

    I’ve make mistakes 

    I’ve been hard hit 

    I say so what 

    so what if I did 

    I’m the clear eyed 

    I’m the 

    comeback kid 

    start it over 

    start it over again 

    I'm the clear eyed 

    I'm the comeback kid 

     

    it’s been a rough year 

    been some tough tears 

    I’ve lost so fast 

    all that I had 

     

    but when it’s time to 

    i will fight for you 

    cause you know you are 

    why i’ve come so far 

     

    I’ve make mistakes 

    I’ve been hard hit 

    I say so what 

    so what if I did 

    I’m the clear eyed 

    I’m the 

    comeback kid 

    start it over 

    start it over again 

    I'm the clear eyed 

    I'm the comeback kid

     

    Running To You (Arcade High) - Sam and Matt, Playmates Forever

     

    You’re still the one

    I Run To

    You’re still the *One*!

    (X)

     

     Arcade Summer (FM-84 & MrM) - 

    ‘The Sun Still Shines Bright On Our Arcade Summer’

     

    Do you remember

    When we were young

    A certain shopping center

    Where we could have so such fun . . .

     

    In our 

    Arcade Summer!

    In an 

    Arcade Summer!

    In our

    Arcade Summer!

     

    We were alive there (In our Arcade Summer)

    We were in love there (In our Arcade Summer)

    Life was so simple there (In an Arcade Summer)

    Love was so perfect there (In an Arcade Summer)

     

    And the cruel school year was so far away

    And all our best friends would come down to play

    And the Arcade was open every day

    And the Summer of love was here to stay in our

     

    Arcade Summer!

    In an 

    Arcade Summer!

    In our

    Arcade Summer!

    In an

    Arcade Summer!

     

    We were alive there (In our Arcade Summer)

    We were in love there (In our Arcade Summer)

    Life was so simple there (In an Arcade Summer)

    Love was so perfect there (In an Arcade Summer)

     

    You were standing

    Right beside me

    While I was playing

    Then I was falling

     

    And I thought that

    It was passed time

    That we ought to

    Get in some Funtime

     

    And We were so alive there

    And We were so in love there

    And Life was so simple there

    And Our love was perfect there

     

    And so I kissed you hard then

    And so you smiled at me then

    And so you kissed me hard then

    And so I smiled at you then

     

    In our 

    Arcade Summer!

    In an 

    Arcade Summer!

    In our

    Arcade Summer!

    In an

    Arcade Summer!

     

    We were alive there (In our Arcade Summer)

    We were in love there (In our Arcade Summer)

    Life was so simple there (In an Arcade Summer)

    Love was so perfect there (In an Arcade Summer)

     

    We were ALIVE there (In our Arcade Summer)!

    We were in LOVE there (In our Arcade Summer)!

    Life was so SIMPLE there (In an Arcade Summer)!

    Love was so PERFECT there (In an Arcade Summer)!

    Love was so very PURE there (In our Arcade Summer)!

     

    The sun still shines bright on

    Our Arcade Summer . . .

     
  12. This chapter is really hard to write for Book 2 of 0's and 1's, so I will share with readers its problem:

     

    I feel like I can't skip an important event, but if I write it, I am never going to hear the end of it.

     

    This will mark probably the darkest chapter I have ever written, maybe one of the darkest chapters on GA. I am making sure the guidelines are followed, nothing graphic or explicit, but the implication is more than enough with a dark imagination. And to top it all off, I have to make sure people know why it's needed for the future of the story and the future of the characters. This ain't gratuitous plot point, it's a revolutionary spark, a call to arms against an injustice that transcends LGBT fiction. It's something our society and many of us are guilty as indirect participants.

     

    I call this chapter by a nickname, "the Crucible".

     

    If this chapter gets completed, the rest of the story can follow, but it must be done right or nothing else after it will matter.

     

    Anyone who has any ideas, thoughts, or is just curious as to what I am doing, feel free to PM me.

  13. Myr
    Latest Entry

    By Myr,

    We have just posted a new version of Stories.  In theory, this finally corrects the notification bugs.  If you Follow a Story, you should now get your notifications every time.  If you Follow an Author (on the author page) you should be alerted when they post a new story.

     

    A "Part of Series" toggle has been added to filters:

    image.png

     

    The quick search links now properly activate existing filters and you should be able to change them or remove them with the minus sign.

    Example, Series stories by dkstories:

    https://www.gayauthors.org/stories/?filter_authors=212&filter_series=1

     

    There is now a reminder on "Add New Chapter" box that reminds you about the posting rules:

    image.png

     

    Moderation Queue Important Note:

    The moderation queue is now based on Story/Chapter reputation only!  We are working on a method of displaying an author's current story/chapter reputation if they're under the limit.  So if you suddenly find yourself in the Story Moderation Queue, where you were not before, this is why.

     

    Reply to Review should be working properly now.

     

    The filterbox on the Series page is now working properly.  The Quick Search on Series page is now correct as well.  Searching by Series word count is also working:

    https://www.gayauthors.org/stories/browse/series/?sortby=totalwords&filter_sort=totalwords

     

     

  14. The Tampa Chronicles series is a set of stories that are set in my hometown of Tampa, FL. Each story is built features a cast of characters that show family, love, and values.

     

    In the first book, A New Life and a New Home I introduce to you the small mother/son family of Jill and Chandon Bolton, and Chandon's boyfriend Brayon Hopper. In this story, Brayon is disowned by his parents, when he comes out as gay to them. It is the binding of the new family unit, that completes this short one chapter story. Interesting note: Chandon, Brayon, and Jill are all based on real-life friends from high school. I still talk to them occasionally.

     

    In book two, My Son you learn of the lives of Adam Smith and his estranged son, Robert Turner. Adam is a successful businessman in his own right, and after selling off several patents in medical devices, he moves back to Tampa. While setting up his new life, as a 38-year-old retiree, he gets a call from the Florida Department of Children and Families. The story follows the process of Adam meeting his son for the first time, and trials and tribulations they go through. You also meet Adam's longtime friend Duncan Isen, who admits he's Bisexual and has been in love with Adam since they were teens. Their budding relationship is secondary to the main story, much like Rob's relationship with Giles O'Sullivan.

     

    Book three, A Few Days in the Life of Jeremy Isen introduces a new character to the story. Jeremy is a freshman high school student who is an active practitioner in martial arts and photo-journalist. He's the son of Duncan's older brother Ian and his wife Debbie. The story follows shortly over events that happen during the last month of the school year, and the start of summer vacation. 

     

    After the introduction of Jeremy to the story, the currently untitled fourth book will center around the core group of Adam, Duncan, Rob, Jeremy, Giles, Brayon, Chandon, and Jill. It will show their lives, and how they connect together. It will also include a look of my hometown of Tampa, FL through their eyes. The stories are told in a Deep-PoV style and will head-hop as necessary in order to give you the perspective of each of the characters, as they interact with each other.

  15. quokka
    Latest Entry

    Hello fellow bloggers and readers,

     

    Thought you may like to know that with the publishing of chapter 5 of my current story, 

    I have reached the milestone of having 1million words published online.

    I am happy to say that I have lots more stories waiting to be posted on GA.

    Thankyou for your continual support.

    Regards Preston, aka Quokka

  16.  

     

    The other day, my husband tim told me about a little poetry challenge on GA, offered by @AC Benus  He had decided to rewrite his Tanka Poetry prompt. 

    I decided to 'support my local poet' and offer myself up as a guinea pig. But frankly, I had doubts even though I've written some okay poetry, following the instructions and writing something 'properly' rather worried me. 

     

    But, I just had to try. 

     

    So I read the prompt.. Tanka's should be personal, emotional, show how things affect you. Of course there's the syllable count 5-7-5-7-7 as well. AC had given lots of wonderful examples. Here is one I really enjoyed: 

     

    The bursting cherries,
    Blooming with all their might,
    Bid me to please stop;
    To give them some attention,
    If not all of my power.

     

    You can feel the power in this little piece, the beauty of the blossoms, and you are in the moment with the poet, urging those blossoms to open. 

     

    So with AC's excellent prompt read and sort of in my head and along with some history and examples, I wrote the first:

     

    Cool in his t-shirt

    No longer afraid to be

    The man that he is

    There is no shame in his scars

    They are badges of courage

     

    AC had included a checklist, so you could try and determine if you were close or not to writing one of these gems correctly. Well, to me, the 'personal' wasn't really in that poem.  So I reread the prompt

    and tried again. I hoped this effort would be better. 

     

    Cooling soft breezes

    Chase off remnants of the heat

    They chill my hot flesh

    And I stop to watch my skin

    Reply with welcome shivers

     

    I sent them off to AC, saying be honest, I will not collapse into a heap of ego if you say they aren't right. 

     

    I hope AC doesn't mind me quoting him here:

     

    Well, it's true that you as the poet are missing from the first one, but perhaps me knowing it's Tim made up for that. I can see your point and I'm really glad it led you to try again. I thought perhaps you thought the first one was too like a series of complete lines. What you did by providing no punctuation is one to deal with that, but I think with some careful punctuation, you can make it flow. That being said, you did make the theme of the poem travel over the five lines (and create a stanza), so that is very good to see.

     

    As I think you already know, the second one you wrote is stronger as a Tanka. Your efforts give me hope the checklist self-quiz is going to be a good tool to help people improve That's a relief.  

     

    For punctuation (if you want it), I might suggest the following: 

     

    Cool in his t-shirt,

    No longer afraid to be

    The man that he is,

    There is no shame in his scars:

    They are badges of courage.

     

     

     

    Cooling soft breezes

    Chase off remnants of the heat;

    They chill my hot flesh,

    And I stop to watch my skin

    Reply with welcome shivers.

     

    I think anyone who truly wants to try and learn more about poetry will want to do this. I see what he is saying about the punctuation.  But too, I see what he means about flow and single lines, rather than the whole stanza being a single flowing thought. 

     

    I wish more people would consider poetry. Prose is wonderful, but poetry offers more for the soul I think.  In any case thank you for reading, if you don't want to write, then please give reading some poetry a try.  Poets have come a long way.  Support Your Local Poet!!

     

    Only by trying will we do ... 

     

    Thanks AC!

  17. The following short essay was first posted on my external blog, A Pencil is Best. While I realise a lot of it is preaching to the converted, I hope some elements may be interesting. 

     

    It's such a simple phrase, but to many LGBT couples, it's been a long time coming. Or it is still the stuff of dreams. A hope kept barely alive amidst widespread persecution for simply being who they are.

     

    In this Pride season, it is sobering to be shown how many countries don't allow their LGBT citizens to register their partnership. Human Rights Watch has issued an interactive map illustrating exactly that. Simply looking at the graphic rubs the facts in. Since 2006 when South Africa allowed same-sex marriage, it is still the only country on the African continent to allow any form of partnership. Looking eastwards beyond Greece, on one edge of Europe, and Finland and Estonia on the other, the map is entirely blank up until it reaches the Pacific ocean. The only exceptions are Cyprus and Israel.

     

    In fact, out of the 195 states that exist in the world today, 41 allow a same-sex relationship to be registered. The fact this list is expanding is a cause for optimism - Australia joined last year, and HRW notes that:

    Quote

    Austria, Taiwan and Chile [are] expected to join the list soon.

     

    However that still leaves in the region of 150 states who don't.

     

    In some states, being gay is tolerated, in the sense there is no criminal law being broken. Sometimes though, this is a sham. Writing about a report published by the International Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans and Intersex Association, a Guardian newspaper article last year noted that while living a gay life isn't illegal in Egypt, LGBT individuals

    Quote

    are vigorously pursued and hundreds of people are reported to be detained on morality grounds.

     

    It gets worse. It will come as no surprise, I guess, to be told that Saudi Arabia is one of five states where the death penalty is actively invoked for being gay. Should you wish to give expression to your love for another by having sexual relations, there are still 71 states where this could result in a prison sentence. This isn't for any crime as would be recognised by any right-minded individual - stealing, assault, murder - this is for displaying love or desire for another like-minded individual.

     

    Looking around the web for gay fiction, you'll find, amongst all the porn, a huge number of romance stories. Again, no surprise perhaps, given how popular straight romances are. But there's a difference, particularly with the older stories. Many of these don't have the hero walking off into the sunset with a prince, a millionaire, or a handsome stud. They are content to show two individuals getting married and living a partnered life together. That's the height of their romance - simply a desire to mark their love and commitment like any straight couple can.

     

    These stories are food for the mind and soul of those who aren't able to give open expression to who they are. And that could just as easily be in the UK or US. They give hope. They make normal what may be labelled perverse, sinful, or abhorrent.

     

    There are many organisations dedicated to changing attitudes towards LGBT individuals, some international, some country based. The Guardian article notes another cause for hope, where in

    Quote

    countries including Botswana, Kenya, Zimbabwe and Tunisia, advocates have recently won court cases affirming the right to form organisations to lobby for rights.

     

    There are also those which seek to make young LGBT people feel less alone, to be able to accept themselves. To hope perhaps, that they might one day find love and marry. In a slight detour, I'd like to highlight one group whose reported reach made my jaw drop.

     

    Frameline is mainly known for the LGBT film festival it runs every year in San Francisco. One of its outreach projects, Frameline Voices, provided free access to queer films for anyone to view. What made my eyes widen was the statement that these films had been viewed in every country of the world. Yes, you read that right. Yemen, Saudi Arabia, North Korea. Three and a half million views in five years. The power of the internet as a force for good.

     

    What I've mentioned so far are small beacons, trying to lighten the darkness that too many LGBT individuals live under. So in this seasons of weddings, if you're tired of making decisions, having to buy another outfit, or listening to speeches, spare a thought for those would love to be at a wedding. Their own.

     

    My thanks go to @droughtquake for the information about the Frameline outreach project.

  18. Gay Authors Articles

    Myr
    Latest Entry

    By Myr,

    All,

    Gay Authors Articles are going to take a summer break.  Please be sure to click on Follow on the blog so that you'll be alerted to the articles when the resume:

    image.png

     

    Myr

  19. Wow, with summer here in the Northern Hemisphere, we are definitely seeing a drop in people online.   Even I'm getting more sun. 

     

    I'm going to cut back on the number of blogs I'm doing for now and pick up again in the fall.  It'll give me more time to do these silly summer homeowner things I'm suddenly stuck with. lol.

     

     

     

  20. I’m at a juncture in my writing where I seriously think I need to stop it. The problem is basically for the most part I write violent shit and I don’t like it.

     

    I’m tired of having likeable characters die in the most horrible ways. For chissakes, how many assaults, rapes, and murders have to be written before I go down to the local sporting goods store and buy a pistol to blow my diseased brain out of my head? I suppose I could call my new therapist, but what the fuck will she do?

     

    I try to throw marshmallows, but bricks leave my hand.

     

    I tried to start a sequel to 319 about the remaining four boys in the house. But, I threw a brick and hit one of the boys; and, then the last he was seen crying on his bed with his pants and underwear around his ankles with blood and shit smeared across his butt and on the bedspread. After the police were called, he was found stuffed in the chest freezer in the pantry, near death from hypothermia.

     

    All my other choices for the next story are also chock full ’o nuts, bricks, knives, guns, homophobes, and every other evil I can think of.

     

    So, once The Angel of Retribution has finished posting, I’m going to concentrate on raising our new puppy. Sara, another purebred German Shepherd imported from Germany will be arriving sometime around the end of July/beginning of August. Plus, I’ll return to trying to learn how to play jazz guitar. I have to buy a new (or, refurbished used) guitar, but that shouldn’t cost over $500.

     

    I’ve got to go now because my attention whore (purebred German Shepherd), Nana, is begging to go out and chase cats out of the backyard.

     

    Maybe, after discussing my situation with my therapist, I can think about going back to writing. Or, possibly, she’ll just tell me to give it up until I can get the evil out of my mind. (Therapists really do not like patients who get suicidal.)

     

  21. Dmrman
    Latest Entry

    It's been a while since an update, things have been very trying and exhausting yet time doesn't stand still it continues to progress even when we are not ready, it moves. Situations unexpected, to try and spoil,  dreams and Happiness. What can be done to deflect or slow down approaching disaster...??? apparently just adapting and taking the good and filter out the bad ..! It's only 11 days until My Boys wedding, they have managed to juggle and maneuver and manage their plans yet still work and prepare for college classes. I have tried my best to accomplish and finish projects for the Wedding since the news they wanted at home in our yard... while some are finished others remain to be completed. complications with My good eye after surgery slowly demanding my time, instead of allowing assistance in the completion of projects. yes, it is Frustrating and could cause one to dwell on its completion. I wanted nothing but the Best for their wedding... while dealing with the possibilities it wouldn't be finished, I had come to a major revelation...nothing new, nothing that hasn't evolved before and certainly not the tragedy my mind was generating within my head. the wedding will still happen, and just the joy of the glorious day itself will not cease because the "PERGOLA" never got finished, the garden was never completed and your eye needs more surgery. not relevant... what is relevant is that the wedding is all about Love, and new beginnings, and happiness, joy, and health for the two young one's joining together to bond in and through that love... I had to realize this is not about me... how selfish tragedy want's to steal and pillage all our happiness ... So My task is done for the moment, my focus on the Magnificent Wonder of Two people Hopelessly in Love and that is something money can't buy...!!! Hugz and love to you all, life is but for a moment...!!:heart::heart::hug:tumblr_pas7alSURg1xxh83ho1_400.jpg.dd487178d46b0158778816b6a0a23a74.jpg

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