Our community blogs
I created an announcement a few weeks ago asking people for topics they wanted to be covered here in more detail. You can find it here:
One of those requests was how to we make the fancy links, like I use in my post signature to link to my story. It's really, really simple. Just copy the link in the url address bar and then paste the link to a story on the site into an editor, and it'll auto format for you. For example, I could paste a link to my Sci-Fi Anthology story, A Bad Day to Be WET:
And it automatically formats. The neat thing is, that this applies to topics, like the first example, stories, like the second and other things like the Gallery and Blog's linked below:
If you are planning on updating your signature to link to a story, just remember you can only link one story that way. Further rules can be found here:
Some offsite links also auto-populate. YouTube and Google Maps, for example:
Hope this helps! Leave a comment below.
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February is short and often gone before we know it. Jack Scribe is an author that many readers from GA will miss as well. But we still have some of his stories to enjoy, including his Las Vegas Trilogy. If you're in the US, you're probably ready for some sunshine and heat, so enjoy this first story in the series, It Stays in Vegas!
Description: NOVEL. Drew is an ambitious, young manager at a Las Vegas casino resort who becomes smitten with an arriving guest. Danger lurks as their friendship grows. Book 1 of the Vegas trilogy.
A Reader said: I really am enjoying this!!! ~ Gene63
Well, this is truly a learning curve and can be challenging, for the" Blog Challenged", I must apologize for those looking for the previous blog "A happy ending to a tragedy" seems I made two mistakes and wish to redeem myself, ( as best I can) the Moderators were kind enough to share the whole issue with me, and well it just proves to me they are doing their jobs. to those wishing to read the article, I so appreciate your loyalty in following...! this being my first blog site and the occurred mistakes let me know I have much to learn, I hope this will not discourage anyone from visiting the site as I endeavor to move forward. A Temporary setback which has given me the passion and willpower to move ahead and overcome this failure past. I hope you all can forgive and will encourage any and all newbies to move forward not retreat, I am a determined person and will admit my mistakes openly. Those of you who have been associated with me for a while know I have just recently overcome 5 years of total blindness, And have been given a gift of eyesight in my right eye, I have shared a big difference from visualizing experiences to being able to watch TV, read for Myself with passion ( Not a computer-generated voice reading for me) the material I read now is far more passionate to me , and I retain and understand issues a lot better. So a "BLOG" is a whole new life for me, and I do want to remain within the boundaries set forth. so with that said I ask your Grace and forgiveness... so walk with me and I with you and we both may learn a lot from each other...!!! thank you... Bob/DMRman
Adventure is guaranteed upon entry into this area. Wear a helmet and mind the rubble, there's a lot of construction going on around here.
You've come along at the very beginning of... if this was Hollywood, they would call it a reboot.
How I got here is a long story, and I have enough things I'm working on. *Drum sting* I'm finally finishing the beginning of my career here.
Because coming back is inspiring the new energy, instead of the reverse, you, and everyone here, get to be witnesses to the entire process, rather than simply a grand reopening with everything so prepared it's ready for out-of-town relatives.
Predators chapter 1, 2011 may be old but the story is not dead. I give hope, not timetables. More soon.
The previous entry will tell you about the one exception to that rule about timetables: Predators: 2-14-9X. You can see chapter 1 now over at http://www.Imagine-magazine.org at a lovely place run by @Comicality and friends.
Or, if you are a homebody and don't wanna leave G.A. have no fear. The story will be premiering here early April first. (No foolin') and then every first of the month thereafter, one month behind the magazine.
Keep an eye out for more commentary in the forums and on stories. Be sure to read the stories and the comments you'll be entertained by both, I hope.
And I have more thrills in store.
For the time being I'm a work in progress, but hey, aren't we all?
Please excuse the mess
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Well good morning, evening, maybe afternoon depending on where you are! Yes, sadly I will be doing the blog today so apologies are sent out to everyone I might mess up with me doing it . Well now that we are done with Valentines week, let's take a look back on all of the different offerings this week.
- 2018 Summer Novella Anthology: Summer - Due April 15th, 2018
- 2018 Spring Anthology: Now or Never - Due May 15th
- 2018 Spring Anthology: Encounters - Due May 15th
- 2018 Fall Anthology: Fight Back - Due Nov 15th
- 2018 Fall Anthology: Good Intentions - Due Nov 15th
Story Critique: Open to all GA authors. Sign up here.
Ask An Author: Send your questions for your favorite authors to @Carlos Hazday (no questions = no Ask An Author)
3 Story Promo: Open to all GA Authors. PM Renee Stevens to participate.
Author Interview: Open to all GA Authors. PM Renee Stevens to participate.
Favorite Self-Written Story: Open to all GA authors. PM Renee Stevens to participate
Story Recommendations: Open to all GA authors & readers. PM Renee Stevens to participate.
Harbinger by Cia *Premium*
The Friendship Ring by Ronyx
You Promised Me a Tomorrow by Ronyx
Boy Valentine by Comicality
Denied by Cia
GA Writing Prompts by Dolores Esteban
I Could Tell by Comicality
Insomnia by CassieQ
Martyrs of the Heart by Cynus
Mojo by AC Benus
Promptings from Valhalla by Valkyrie
Second Chances by Cynus
Shadow Honor by Cynus
So Weeps the Willow by Cole Matthews
Bless Me, Father by Parker Owens
Disasters, Delights and Other Detours by Parker Owens
Fractions for fun by Puppilull
Only Prompts by Mikiesboy
Special Occasion Stories by Caz Pedroso
***Check out this GA Classic***
A coming of age story about Andy Collins and friends. As he deals with his sexual orientation, he and his friends must also confront abuse and murder in the small mining town of Pine Hills, nestled away in the Appalachian Mountains of Eastern Kentucky.
Don't forget.... Read, Write, and REVIEW!!!
There are two schools of learning when it comes to writing erotica...some people want a full story with drama and tension and build up...and some people are rock hard already and want to find something hot to get off to! Hehehe, and sometimes we understandably flip flop from one to the other. Depends on the mood, I suppose. But if your writing a story, and you label it as 'erotica'...just keep in mind that no matter how intriguing the story is, no matter how adorable your characters are, or how talented you are with words, style, and metaphor...a great deal of your audience are going to be actively searching for the erotic part of that equation. And that means a touch of the 'naughty' between the people they're reading about. But when is the appropriate time for you to introduce sex into your story? You don't want it to be too soon, or it won't have the same 'umph' in the delivery. But you don't want to take so long that your readers get frustrated with the long wait either. So where's the middle ground? Let's discuss.
I started out writing stories that matched the stories that I used to read online. Super HOT! They were mostly short, one chapter, stories that had one hot boy meeting another hot boy, trading names, finding a way to be alone, and then shagging each other silly! Hehehe, and I LOVED it! Sometimes, I still get in the mood for a hot quickie, to be honest. There's nothing wrong with it. Sometimes, it's exactly what you're looking for and exactly what you need. In fact, I suggest you write a few yourself, just to get your name out there and use it as a draw back to some of your other stories that might be longer and have a little more depth and plot to them. However, many times those stories can feel like eating a handful of cookies to hold you over until dinner. It satisfies, but it's not as much nourishment as something that you might find a little more emotionally substantial.
I think that introducing sex into a story has a lot to do with how you, personally, view sex in general. No matter what your feelings are about it, tell that story. If you hold that level of intimacy to a much higher standard and think it should be something that your main characters don't take lightly...then take your time and tell that story. But if you think sex is just a normal expression of what you feel and don't want to dive into the whole 'angst' and slow build aspect, and would rather go forward with something sexy and hot without I being that big of a deal, then write THAT story too! Hell, try both if you want to experiment with the difference. But sex scenes in your story should truly reflect a very private and vulnerable part of who you are as a person. Allow yourself to explore the kind of sexual exploits that you would want to have in real life. If you could have it any way that you wanted it...what would you do? How would you do it? This is your self orchestrated wet dream, so go wild with it, right?
I like for things to take a very natural and realistic pace in my stories. But that pace is also set by the kind of story that I want to tell. Sometimes I want to write about someone who has spent the better part of their lives lusting over the one they want, and once they're given the opportunity to dive in to a situation...they go for it, full throttle, with no regrets. However, there are other stories that I write where there's a certain level of insecurity and intimidation that comes with having a sexual experience with the boy of their dreams. Especially if it's a virgin experience, which is something that I try to handle with delicacy and a bit of grace. I wrote an article on building up to the 'first kiss' in your story, and I feel the same way about sex in a story. Let it be a reward, not only for your main character, but for your readers as well, for sticking it out through the plot points that come before it. So there's a balance that you'll have to play around with and determine on your own. However, you want to play the 'long game' but still want to add some sex into your story before your audience gets too antsy, a good way to achieve this is through a masturbation sequence or a dream. Possibly even a series of naughty thoughts while staring at their love interest from across the room. That way you can add something truly sexy to your story without having to rush your main characters into doing the deed before it feels natural.
Also, since this is your personal fantasy, feel free to really express yourself through the type of sex you want your characters to have. Write it your way, and make it sizzle. The hotter it is to you, the hotter it'll be for your readers. If you want a slow, romantic, grind in the bedroom...then throw yourself into it and bring out the sensuality of that moment. If you're more of a 'rough rider', and want something fast and breathless...then try to capture the spontaneity and desperation involved. Do you want your characters to do something secretive, or in a public place? Maybe you want something more innocent and experimental. Or perhaps a bit more on the dominant/submissive side. Whatever your particular flavor is, you're running the show. And you want that first sexual encounter to be as erotic as humanly possible, as it's going to set the standard for every hot scene to follow it.
It takes a little instinct and a lot of practice, but if you can bring sex into your story at just the right moment, and you make it something explosive...your audience will be strapped in and ready to ride with you until the very end. So go on out there and put a smile on their faces!
I was going back through my list of books that I had bought over the years and this one sprang to mind. I think it is the cover that got me to read it. Teenager with greenhair just begs the question why.Quote
Amazon Blurb - When Sprout and his father move from Long Island to Kansas after the death of his mother, he is sure he will find no friends, no love, no beauty. But friends find him, the strangeness of the landscape fascinates him, and when love shows up in an unexpected place, it proves impossible to hold. An incredible, literary story of a boy who knows he's gay, and the town that seems to have no place for him to hide.
This is definitely a layered story. It has great character development and is interesting. I definitely found it worth the read.
Hope everyone has had a great week so far. It's time for this weeks writing prompts. If you're stuck, or you're considering writing for the first time, these might be perfect for you. Don't forget that stories under 1,000 words must be posted as part of a collection.
Tag – The Dragon
You walk into the Dragon’s lair, swearing you are well prepared for anything. However, now that you are actually face to face, this isn’t what you had imagined. What is the dragon like?
Prompt 649 – Creative
Tag – The Eavesdropper
You have overheard something you shouldn’t have. Now, knowing this secret and keeping it means you could be complicit in a crime. What do you do?
Did you write a prompt response last week? Don't forget to share it below.
Before we get started with this week's flashback, I wanted to remind all of our authors that there are two anthology topics and a novella coming up. You can find more details and weigh in on your progress here in the Writing Club:
If you aren't a member, join up! There is a lot going on in there for authors.
Now, on with the show!
Would you be so kind as to take a few moments to review the stories you read here? You never know when you might inspire an author or even a new author with a review
So, I installed a Nest at my mother's last May. Let me tell you, this thing has been really good at lowering costs. It has also solved so many of my tech problems with mom. Now she just texts me and I can adjust her thermostat from my phone when I'm anywhere. Since I have to do all of her technical support, this makes my life so much easier. The funny thing is I have it tied into Alexa as well. That means I can sit in my living room and adjust the temperature in her house just by telling Alexa to do it.
Oh, if you go this route, power companies often have an energy saving rebate for getting a learning thermostat. I know mom got back $75 in a rebate for that.
I definitely like the Nest product.
On Valentine's day, the day when the world turns its mind to thoughts of love. Love. Such a small word, but means so much.
I love my partner. I love my son. I love my friends and extended family. Heck I even love my ex-boyfriend and chocolate. But do I love the same? No. I love them all with the same intensity, but not the same way.
Humans today get hung up and think only of the romantic meaning of the word love. We should never feel weird or ashamed to say that you love. The world could use a little more love. Just like you should dance like no one is watching, love like you've never been hurt.
Happy Valentine’s Day everyone, I love you all.
I'm about to start work on a potential entry for the next GA anthology. As the plot stands presently, one of the main characters is a young Polish man. You can probably see where this is going already. I have no intention of writing large chunks of dialogue in Polish, but I do want my character speak a little in his native language. Greetings, expletives, some other short phrases, and the occasional word forgotten under pressure.
I am well able to use a dual-language dictionary, and I'm used to the fun of using Google translate, but I really need someone to tell me whether what I've come up with is appropriate. Both literally and in character. I may also handover a number of English sentences to be translated.
It will be a number of weeks before anything is ready, and I have no intention making anyone's life burdensome. But I do like my stories to reflect real life and society. A young Polish man doing nothing but speaking English, even to his mum, doesn't strike me as right. So, if you, or someone you know of, might be able to help, please get in touch.
Just to be clear - I'm an English writer, and the story will be set in an English city.
Ive received requests for another community blog. I’m hoping for some interaction from this very large community!
What brought you to Gay Authors? Why do you stay?
The first question is kind of a fluke for me. I was following a story by an author on another site, where I lost track of story. I know you’re dying to know author. It was @Comicality. When I did a Google search, story popped up. I clicked on without paying attention. The site was completely different. TaDa! I found GA. I read here for a few years, before I became a member.
Why do I stay? This question is multi-layered. I’m a typical male, sure I like porn. I however am not big into porn stories. Of course I read them. However; I’m more cerebral. I like stories with substance. Not (Yeah...Give it to me) without a plot.
The majority of stories are higher quality. The authors here strive for more. .
Finally, I enjoy the engagement. The site is brimming with interesting dialogue and topics. I’ve met wonderful people. Made good friends. GA allows me to interact with my favorite authors. They know I’m reading and support them.
GA offers me stories with characters like me. There are some differences with straight and gay couples. It’s nice to be able to identify completely with a story. I appreciate that GA is inclusive to all though. A diverse community.
Take the challenge! Share your reasoning with the GA community.
Been an emotional week around here. tim is going through something, and I can only watch and wait. But words run through my head after he comes to me, needing me. Last night he asked me to just hold him, as he tried to sleep. I did and he did.
But I know him very well. Know his heart and the kind of human being he is. It's why I love him. And why I wrote this:
You tell me you need my arms about you tight
I know there's something, and I whisper tell me
the name of who is in your heart this moment,
Your head bows, there's damp on your cheeks
But it isn't my name there, or on your lips
And I hold you, strong against me, and smile
As you say: you know I love you, don't you?
I know and we are bound together in many ways
Yet, I know the man in my arms, and his heart
aware I am not alone in it.
There are others you love, desire and care for
But I am wise enough to know, forbidding this
Or trying to cage you, would drive me from the
Very heart I love with all of my own
To keep you, I must free the butterfly
So if sharing who you are and your heart
Means I can love you, then share you I will
I am not sad, or afraid, because you're here
We always will be, until one of us must go
I hope I am left, for I'd not want you to suffer alone.
I know one day, you'll be gone from my arms
But I don't want to know that emptiness yet.
Don’t want to think of not kissing this soft skin
I am your caretaker, your man and you're my boy
And if eternal love exists, then that is mine, for you.
Hello February! By the time you read this, stores will be full of red and pink decorations. Chocolates and love cards will be prominently displayed everywhere. Florists will be busier than a one-armed wallpaper hanger in a windstorm would. And GA readers will be searching for love stories to read. Our focus this month is on the authors of three such tales.
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I was not aware of Rip Skor’s Boy Story until one of its fans sent in a question for the author. The story’s description and Rip’s reply to the question have led me to adding it to my reading list. Moral of the story? If you are an author, how you describe the story when you post it can gain or lose you prospective readers.
I happened upon Boy Story a while ago, and it was hard to resist Matt and Parker. It was great watching their romance unfold and seeing them live their lives.
You mentioned the story is semi-autobiographical, so, why was this the time to tell it and how hard was it to separate fact from fiction?
And since it is the month of Romance, what is the best love advice you’ve received?
Being an English Major, I've always written well, but I hate to write because it saps a lot of my energy. So the fact that I put pen to paper seems perplexing even to me.
I was sitting at home with Parker one night and we watched another horrendous gay-themed movie. They always seem to end up sad, as if it's some kind of penance for being gay. Just look at Brokeback Mountain for example. Can't a gay love story have a positive ending, yet still be entertaining? Can't a gay love story keep itself from getting mired down in gay culture, which turns off most straight people?
Parker said, "You're a good writer, why don't you show them how it's done?" That started the ball rolling.
Only problem is I had no idea what to write about. I find it easier to use real events even if just for a framework to build around. But once I turned the faucet on, things came flooding out, like I was watching a movie.
One of my college professors said "Write about what you know." So I wrote about what I know...my life. Specifically, when things drastically changed for me, yet kept me feeling alive and happy and thankful. Parker had become like a drug that I could not live without. Being with him fed my soul and I guess that's where the term soul mate comes from. Others have experienced the same kind of all encompassing love.
I didn't change much of the events. I did compress the timeline a bit to keep it moving. Otherwise we'd be on Chapter 247 by now. I kept most of the names the same where I used only first names, I changed my last name and Parker's last name to protect our privacy. So there was not a lot of fiction to separate from fact. Like Parker winning the car in a drawing that Aunt Helen entered him in really happened!
My Grandmother hit the nail on the head when it comes to relationships. She simply said "Be good to each other." I found that's how you keep romance alive.
• • • • •
Headstall began posting Cards on the Table three years ago, in January 2015. Since then, the story’s sixty-three chapters and over 300,000 words have attracted nearly 180,000 views, 2,700 comments, and over 300 followers. I think it is fair to say Gary’s story about two hockey-playing friends taking their relationship to a new level struck a chord with readers. This has to be one of the all-time most popular love stories on the site.
How difficult did you find it returning to Cards on the Table after a long break? Had your writing style noticeably changed since you'd last written a chapter? Did you have to alter anything to get back into your previous style?
There was a lot of emotion/angst involved with my return to Cards on the Table. The biggest thing that made it difficult was the guilt I carried for being away so long, and the pressure I put on myself because of it, at a time I really needed a good extended rest.
I had no intention of taking such a long absence. This new, strange story was making a heck of a racket in my head, and I had already taken breaks in the past to write two other stories (Song and Dance and Treading Water), and both had gone quickly. But, Morningstar: The Malaise, my shifter story, turned out to be a different animal (sorry... couldn't resist).
I really thought I could write the bulk of it and then return to CotT, writing both at the same time, but it was such an intricate undertaking, it became impossible to go back and forth between these two epic length stories. I found I could write anthologies during that time (four of them), but only because they were relatively quick endeavors.
Consequently, I was nervous about returning to my original story. Morningstar was still living in my head, even though Book One? was complete, and after a year and a half of living it, it was hard to let go. That whole time I had been barraged with requests to get back to CotT, and I felt a very real pressure. I learned a huge lesson.
As far as altering my writing style, I will say this: my writing is always evolving. It has from chapter to chapter and book to book. The first chapter of CotT is much different from the latest, and eventually I will clean the whole thing up. A better question might be whether I could fall back into Michael and Kendall's world with ease. It was the question I had, and I found the answer as soon as I started writing the 'Christmas Cards' chapter. It was a huge YES.
It was like I never left these guys at all. Every character was right there waiting for me, and I can't begin to tell you how relieved I was. I had Kendall's inner voices and sense of self in my head and on my fingertips, and Michael's sense of humor and fearless approach to love were still a part of me. Even Nate and Bodie were every bit as nuanced as they've been from the beginning. So, even though my skills may have improved while being away, I don't think it has altered the essence of Cards on the Table in any way. Thankfully, judging by the comments, the readers agree.
I hope my long-winded reply answers your question. Thank you for your interest.
• • • • •
Our final author this month is Renee Stevens. I suspect the woman does not sleep a lot. How the heck else is she able to have a life and still serve as part of GA’s staff, coordinate weekly blogs, anthologies, author promotions, and who knows what else. From personal experience, I will vouch for her support of rookies; she is always willing to share what she has learned. Of course, she is an author first and her love stories about rugged, working men enjoy huge popular support.
I read Puppy Love after it was featured in a recent blog. When compared to your other love story I've read (Studly Ranch Hands which I loved) both have a similar feel. Kind of an open country atmosphere. As some of the blog comments mentioned, the quality of the old story is not as good as your most recent work. Why? How did the changes come about? How long and how hard was it to get to where you are now as an author?
Thanks for the question! Puppy Love was only the third novel I’d ever written, and the second M/M novel. The first was Eternity and that has many of the same issues as Puppy Love does. (We won't even get into the issues that my first ever novel Life After Loss has). I looked at my files and the earliest files I could find on Puppy Love dated back to 2007. It could have even been written before then, I can’t remember, and that’s just when it was first saved in my current files.
The “Why?” is simply because I didn’t know any better back then. I didn’t have the community of support back then that I had after I came to GA just over 8 years ago. Sure, I had friends who read over what I wrote and they helped improve the story line, but there are so many things that none of us knew. Once I came to GA, I developed some wonderful friendships and really started to get some assistance in improving my writing.
It’s taken over ten years for me to get where I am now, and a lot of hard work, but it’s worth it and I hope to continue to learn and improve. The one thing that helps me is I make note of repeated mistakes and now I check all of my stories for these issues prior to posting.
Joy. Just pure joy. I'm sitting here in my living room (I decided not to go out because I honestly don't want to deal with crazy crowds) and I'm just savoring the moment.
I am so proud of this team, and I'll never forget this moment. E-A-G-L-E-S!!!
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I haven't posted a blog in a while, but I was compelled to share my thoughts on this.
Recently, someone shared an amateur porn video with me. It was of a supposed “Dom” taking his sub over his knees and spanking him. Normally, that would be good subject matter, but this one, like so many similar ones I’ve had the displeasure of viewing over the years, is about the Dom causing the sub as much pain as possible, alternating between bare hands and a paddle, while the sub squeals and squirms beneath his weight.
During the entire spanking session, this “Dom” focuses his attention solely on the webcam that is filming the scene – obsessed with how he looks as the World’s Most Awesome Sadist. The narcissism and egotism projected is astonishing. And extremely disappointing. Meanwhile, the sub he’s dominating is subjected to pain without any purpose, clutched in the stronghold of a man who cares more about how he looks on camera than about the boy in his arms.
Do I know who this couple is, or how they are together when the camera is off? No. Maybe they only just met. Maybe they've been together for years. If a Dom and a sub mutually choose to film a scene like this, then I suppose I can’t argue with that choice. However, this is the type of online manure that confuses and misguides what D/s Life is about.
Inflicting pain without purpose is pointless. Choosing to use a sub like a rag doll – or, in this case, a prop for a homemade movie – grates against my every nerve. There’s an inhumane, torturous aspect to this kind of scene. It’s also gravely inaccurate. At least, to most of us in the Life it is.
The deep emotional connection that a Dom and sub can share is something to be celebrated, not portrayed as a power play with only one winner. There is little room for egotism in a Dominant person, and a sub should be revered as a partner, not a puppet. Not to mention providing proper after-care, which means being kind and nurturing and supportive to a sub as he/she comes back from the sub-space you’ve transported them to.
A Dom who cares little to nothing for the sub in his arms doesn’t deserve to have one, in my opinion.
Well I have just completed publishing my tenth story on GA, and began posting chapters of two more stories.
Those being Outback Corporation and Wellstead, with Outback Corporation being in two parts, the first has 9 chapters the second part has 5 chapters.
While the story - Wellstead has a total of 21 chapters.
I have also began writing a second book for the story - New Beginnings, titled - NB New Direction, the number of chapters is yet to be finalised,
which I will begin posting once Outback Corporation is complete.
A number of other stories are partly completed, and will be published once they are completed and edited.
Thankyou to all of my hard working editors and Beta Readers, plus all of my followers, for all of your continual Support.
I have three editors, all from very different time zones, which makes it fun trying to keep in touch with them. They are from UK, South Africa & USA,
and because I have a varied style of writing with different themes. A super big thanks to you.
I am so adorable in the photo, am I not?
Oh, my heart!
I did something hard today. I let my almost 18 year old daughter go on a 3 day trip. A trip that will take her some 4 hours away. OK, it’s a school trip and there are chaperones. She’s a member of her high school’s culinary team and I am so proud to be her mom!
Her brother has been taking trips with the marching band and indoor drum line groups since middle school. And there have been some long ones, 16-18 hours! (Texas is a BIG place!) But neither one of them have done anything like this!
I want them to have the courage to fly, to do things that challenge them. I want them to be able to take trips like this and know that they can do it alone. Without a parent there to take the lead. I know that it’s important they learn these skills. After all, isn’t that a big part of my job as a parent? To send my kids into the world knowing how to be an adult?
She was so excited last night. Making sure the right clothes were packed. That the new pants we had to buy for the awards assembly “worked with the blouse.” She made sure that she had everything ready to go; she had lists! She was packed and ready to go by 7:00 this morning; even though her ride wasn’t due for another hour. She texted me when she left the house “We’ve left and are going to Starbucks.” I’m glad she didn’t face time me, I was able to respond with a “Thanks!” A friend asked if she got off ok, and I responded to him with a “yes (sob).”
If letting her go for 3 days is this hard, what is it going to be like when she goes away to college in the fall? I had been warned about so many little hurdles that I would have to deal with as my children grew. But letting go? I don’t think anyone ever mentioned how hard it was going to be seeing my chicks leave the nest.
I’ve been there for so many FIRST things. First steps, first words, first day of school. This first, this first trip away, I won’t, I can’t, be there.
How do you do this? How do you let a piece of your heart, get in a car and leave? For 3 days? Almost 4 hours away? Would I feel different if she were, say, going to Grandmother’s house for a long weekend? Most likely the answer would be “Yes.” Grandmother is, after all, family. There’s no family involved in this trip though. There are two great teachers who are chaperoning, but they aren’t family. Her teammates are friends, but that’s not family. There are parts of this trip she will have to navigate on her own. I have to trust that what she’s learned at home so far, what she’s seen in our lives, she is able to put into practice. Without me looking over her shoulder.
She just texted again, “Thanks mom! We’re here and having so much fun!” I didn’t cry, I just asked for a picture.
Today, I took a big step in learning to let go.
Oh, my heart!
First, i am no expert on diabetes, but i am learning.
During the summer Michael (my Husband) learned he has type2 Diabetes. I'd rather suspected it, and asked a few times that he go to the doctor. He would say, yes later. The symptoms increased (thirst, frequent urination, painful nerve pain in his feet and hands) and i was worried and afraid. i do not raise my voice to Michael, but on this day i did. i was upset and He wasn't hearing me, so i did. He agreed to go and we went together.
Tests showed his blood sugar was 18, where it should be 4 to 7 on waking, and 5 to10, two hours after meals. ***Kitt's comment reminded me these numbers are for Canada. Please check your own country's Diabetes Association or talk to your doctor.***
We walked out of the doctor's office and He said. "We need to make changes."
We did immediately. For us they were not huge changes but we stopped adding sugar to drinks, stopped eating desserts other than fruit or some no-sugar added desserts that we found. We cut down on carbs, stopped eating products made with white flour and other highly processed foods. We greatly increased the vegetables we eat - luckily we both like a huge variety of them - added unsalted nuts, and fruit as snacks. Michael measures condiments He chooses to add. We read labels a lot and often find the carb levels are just not worth it.
Our need for sweetness quickly disappeared. Though Michael does like dessert, but He is content with no-sugar jello and some fresh or canned fruit packed in water. For Thanksgiving, i made a baked pumpkin custard (pie with no crust basically) and He loved it.
One product we have found and indulge in from time to time is something Michael got for Christmas. Russell Stover's no-sugar candy. Hard fruit flavoured boiled candy, pecan caramel chocolates and mint patties. These are made with stevia and are very nice, not super sweet either, but they taste good.
You can live with diabetes. You can eat well and have treats. There is still a world of food out there just waiting for you to try it, but you need to change how you think about food, and be open to changing yourself.
Stay healthy and thanks for reading.
Since the beginning of November, I have been posting regular blogs in various places. A big part of this has been getting into the habit of writing regularly. Some of the blogs I do in batches and others, like this one, is posted when I'm done writing it. For the last few years, I've had a lower profile on the site and lot of the new folks don't know much about me. So, I've also been trying to be more personable. Well, as much as a grumpy bear can be personable at least. lol.
So part of this habit is to make sure that I write something every single day. Now, that all of that is blogs, as I am working on entries for the anthologies and other writing projects. I've found that my creativity is flowing better if I write a blog entry of some sort before jumping into story writing. Not sure why, but it's working for me for now.
I am at my mother's this weekend. I've been going through the slow process of moving back in with her. I built my mancave in her barn last year and now I'm looking for a job I can jump to in her area. Saves a ton of money for both of us to share resources. And moving back in with her frees her up from a bunch of stuff so she can help my grandparents. So, anyway, we're talking about more renovations to the house. Upgrading the bathroom, the kitchen and turning a room into my dedicated office. The office will give me a place to close the door and do work. It would not be a place to play. Apparently, psychologically, it is much easier to discipline ourselves when we keep the areas we work and the areas we play separate.
I seem to have rambled a bit I'm going to get off the computer for now and go take care of some of the stuff I moved back here, then go do some organizing/planning in my mancave. I plan on doubling the size of my mancave by converting the backroom of the barn into my little rec room complete with a pellet stove for our long winter months. I'm also planning on sticking a 3d printer in there when I'm all done so I can design and make stuff.
When I say barn, by the way... this is what I mean:
It is 120 years old for those keeping score. We've got some work to do in a couple of places, especially after last year's internal roof work. They installed collar ties and supports for the roof trusses, as it is basically wide open upstairs.
The last couple of weeks, my gym here in the city has been under threat of closure. A few months ago, the building was bought by a New York real estate company that has a track record of demolishing older structures and building condos. The building sits right in the heart of the Gayborhood here in Philly, which in turn is located in the heart of Center City. There has been a huge influx of luxury apartments being built the last ten years, like any other big city in America. I guess it was only a matter of time before the Gayborhood succumbed to that. The gym has over 4,000 members, many of whom are gay with strong attachments to the Gayborhood. It serves as a gym, but also a gay social and community center. I've been a member here for the 3.5 years I've lived in the city, and it's been like a second home to me. In those three and a half years, apartments, jobs, boyfriends, fuck-buddies, and friends have all come and gone, but the gym stayed the same and was always there for me. I got to know a lot of people in the scene from this gym, and it's where I first hit on my boyfriend over two years ago (he was terrified of me at first, lol). The point it, it is more then just a gym to thousands of guys, and now it is closing next week for good. After being Philadelphia's gay gym for 3 decades, it's going to be gone forever. And that is genuinely depressing to me. Everyone at the gym is being forced to disperse to multiple other gyms, thus completely diluting the sense of community the place brought. Sigh.
Unfortunately, the Gayborhood has been changing a lot since the first time I stepped foot it in in 2010. 3 gay bars have closed in those years, while only one new one has opened. The best gay club in the city, Woody's, has now been overrun with obnoxious straight people and mostly abandoned by the gay guys who made it such a great spot. Voyuer, the popular after hours club across the street, is starting to suffer the same fate, with more and more straight people invading and ruining the things that made it such an amazing place to dance until the wee hours of the morning. Unfortunately, the building that houses the gym also houses another gay bar, Tabu, and 18 other businesses with a strong LGBT focus and clientele. There is also a beautiful mural painted several years ago of Gloria Casarez, a well-known LGBT rights activist from Philadelphia who died several years ago (picture posted below). All of that will be demolished to make way for most likely another luxury high rise, and further water down one of the most fun, unique, and funky neighborhoods of this city.
I guess this is a byproduct of gay rights and the gentrification of cities. As we become more mainstreamed, we begin to lose so much of what makes us unique from the generic, mostly bland and boring straight world. I'm not quite sure anymore if it's a price worth paying, because I don't want to become like my straight friends. It's such a pre-determined, mind-numbing path that ends in a suburban track home with 2.2 kids and a hour long commute to a job you hate. No, I want what I had in the beginning and what the older gay guys had back in the day. I don't want to be assimilated anymore. I'm okay with being part of a minority that is different and unique. We've lost so much of that, especially here in Philadelphia, and I'm not sure we'll ever get it back.
It's time for me to start looking elsewhere in the world.
Wow...I cannot believe my last entry was eons ago!
My life has taken some serious twists n turns...I got out of a loooooooong marriage in 2015, found love and married again just last October I moved to a new state, new home, with my new man, lost my job (twice) and am once again on God's good humor. LOL
The one huge plus is that my stress level (not over jobs) but everything else is greatly diminished...so I can focus on life again and writing.
So...a question! You know you love questions...right?
Do you want to see more of stuff I wrote as a teenager (and converting it to a lil more modern) OR new stuff that I create in my lil head?
Great to be back here again, I loved this site and the fabulous readers, authors, and helpful advice I get every single day.