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  • wildone

    Weekly Wrap Up (Aug 12 - Aug 18)

    By wildone

    Well hello everyone! Happy Sunday I hope for you all. I was shocked to hear that the schools in some parts of the US are back in already. What about your neck of the woods, what is the school year like? I imagine down under and elsewhere it is probably ramping up for summer holidays soon. I think it is interesting when you read a story from another country than your own, as I actually learn more about that country in a way that is never taught in school.   Oh, I'm here to do the weekly wrap up....sorry   Monday Cia kicked off the week with a Story Review done by @BlindAmbition:     Wednesday, Graeme put out a call to all members to make sure you visit a topic to help decide next years Anthologies:   Friday, Cia introduced us to another round of Prompts from our prompt guru, @comicfan:     Anthologies 2019 Anthology Theme Selection is here  - Due Sept 7th 2018 Fall Anthology: Fight Back - Due Nov 15th 2018 Fall Anthology: Good Intentions - Due Nov 15th   Blog Opportunities Story Critique: Open to all GA authors. Sign up here. Ask An Author: Send your questions for your favorite authors to @Carlos Hazday (no questions = no Ask An Author) Story Recommendations:  Open to all GA authors & readers. PM your recommendation and why you recommend it to a Site Admin.   Premium Updates:   Harbinger by Cia *Premium*   Classic Updates:   Conversations With Myself by Altimexis   Dawn of Tears by dkstories   Mark's Revenge by Ronyx   Wild Heart by Dabeagle   Signature Updates:   Adrift by Mann Ramblings   Aria Graice by Nephylim   Denied by Cia   Leopard Hunt by Graeme; Book 4 of The Lilydale Leopards   Love Looked at Me and Laughed and other poems by AC Benus; Book 11 of Verse   Mojo by AC Benus   One Hundred and Fifty-Five Sonnets by AC Benus; Book 5 of Verse   So Weeps the Willow by Cole Matthews   Spirit of Fire by Stellar   The Secret Life Of Billy Chase 9 by Comicality; Book 9 of The Secret Life Of Billy Chase   Promising Updates:   Disasters, Delights and Other Detours by Parker Owens   ***Check out this GA Classic***   Everybody’s Wounded by Duncan Ryder   Three young men, all wounded by past relationships. Can they learn to trust and to love again? Are some wounds deep beyond healing?   Don't forget.... Read, Write, and REVIEW!!!
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Our community blogs

  1. mogwhy
    Latest Entry

    On Valentine's day, the day when the world turns its mind to thoughts of love. Love. Such a small word, but means so much.

     

    I love my partner. I love my son. I love my friends and extended family. Heck I even love my ex-boyfriend and chocolate. But do I love the same? No. I love them all with the same intensity, but not the same way.

     

    Humans today get hung up and think only of the romantic meaning of the word love. We should never feel weird or ashamed to say that you love. The world could use a little more love. Just like you should dance like no one is watching, love like you've never been hurt. 

     

    Happy Valentine’s Day everyone, I love you all.

     

    ~moggy

  2. Hey Guys!

    Ive received requests for another community blog. I’m hoping for some interaction from this very large community!

    I asked for some ideas that would interest you into participation. This idea comes from similar suggestions by @Kitt and @Cia

    What brought you to Gay Authors? Why do you stay?

     

    The first question is kind of a fluke for me. I was following a story by an author on another site, where I lost track of story. I know you’re dying to know author. It was @Comicality. When I did a Google search, story popped up. I clicked on without paying attention. The site was completely different. TaDa! I found GA. I read here for a few years, before I became a member.

     

    Why do I stay? This question is multi-layered. I’m a typical male, sure I like porn. I however am not big into porn stories. Of course I read them. However; I’m more cerebral. I like stories with substance. Not (Yeah...Give it to me) without a plot.

    The majority of stories are higher quality. The authors here strive for more. .

    Finally, I enjoy the engagement. The site is brimming  with interesting dialogue and topics. I’ve met wonderful people. Made good friends. GA allows me to interact with my favorite authors. They know I’m reading and support them.

    GA offers me stories with characters like me. There are some differences with straight and gay couples. It’s nice to be able to identify completely with a story. I appreciate that GA is inclusive to all though. A diverse community.

     

     

    Take the challenge! Share your reasoning with the GA community.

  3. Hello guys...

     

    An hour before, my phone landed and bounced about three or four times on the road. Presently it's fine but there are chances are there to get crash in a day or two. And I have decided that I am not going to go for any repairing to it until I can afford it myself. And it will take some time than expected. So that might be it. And that means I might not going to be available like now, on regular basis, here on GA. And that too if the phone got crashed. Last time it survived for two days before collapsing. And it had cost me a lot, that time too. 

     

    So Until then, Alvida my friends. It's not a good bye, yet. But I might be away for long time because of this damned phone, if it get crashed. I just hope it won't get crashed. 

     

    Love,

    ~Emi. 

  4. Hiya all!!!!

     

    I hope everyone is doing well and had a wonderful Christmas!  This blog is going to be somewhat of a review of this past year and a look forward to what I'm hoping to accomplish in 2018!

     

    In April, I published my story "Barbed Wire Cowboy" (the pre-revision copy can be found in Premium under the name Studly Ranch Hands). It did okay, but not as well as I had hoped. Got some good reviews, and some bad, but over all I think it was well received.

     

    In October, I was able to go to GayRomLit (GRL) in Denver. There were a few hiccups, but it was a great experience overall and I met some wonderful people that I still keep in touch with and made a few connections that I think will be a great help to me in the future (if I ever manage to get back to writing).

     

    In 2018, I hope to finish the rewrite of Forging Trust and post it on GA as well as prepare it for possible publication. I also would like to do another short story for the Something Unexpected series. One other thing I hope to get accomplished with my writing during 2018 is the revision and publication of Puppy Love.  But, while that may not sound like a lot to do, there are some changes going on for me that may make completing these tasks a tad bit more difficult.

     

    Some might have noticed that outside of posting blogs, I haven't been very active on site lately and I may not be overly active on the site for days to come. Part of the reason for that is I haven't felt very well for the last couple of months, and sometimes being on the computer makes it worse, and on Doctor's orders have been taking it easy and I spend a lot of time resting on the couch. But don't worry, me not feeling well isn't necessarily a bad thing. In fact, it's actually a good thing, as it means things are going well. I know, sort of an oxymoron there, isn't it. Usually not feeling well is never a good thing, but in November, my Husband and I found out that if everything goes well, we'll be welcoming our son or daughter into this world in July. Due to some early complications, my doctor has me on just shy of bed rest. (His exact words were he wasn't putting me on bed rest, but it would be close to it). We're hoping it's just the supplements that I have to be on that are making me so sick, and I only have to be on them for a few more weeks, but only time will tell. I don't have the greatest history when it comes to pregnancies, but this one so far has been extremely different than the others, and we're taking me not feeling well as a very good sign since I've made it to the almost 12 week mark, so we're cautiously optimistic.

     

    So all in all, despite the lack of writing on my part, things are going well and look rather promising for 2018! 

     

    I wish you all a wonderful start to the year!

     

     

  5. WOW, it's been a while and a hell of an adventure. And here comes the BUT.....

    I find myself trapped again, from a desolate, miserable time on the farm, to living the high life as a lifestyle Dom, with all the trappings that go along with that.

    Large house, 35 staff to run it, 2 contracted subs, and a partridge in a pear tree you might say.

    The BUT is the responsibility of looking after said house, staff etc. 

    The day this change came about was the same day, me and Stuby split. It was me being a twat that did it. After six years of being together every day, I had a meltdown and it ended in that. I then tried once more with my ever present suicide thoughts. Failed again... I was rescued by an old friend and took to his place. This was the fore mentioned Big house.

    So, enter Master Damon Shax, a name he invented himself and changed through deed poll to suit his lifestyle.He gave me a whole wing of his house, to have as a permanent home. Four stories high including two large, dry and powered cellars, which over a year later have become my bespoke dungeons.

    I changed from rough, loose fitting farm wear and wellies into leather, black leather, and the whole Dom accessories, that made me look the part I played. It was the one dream I have always had. 

    With the sale of the farm, I also could now afford it.

    Damon is an ex marine, and a high up one at that. He moved from North Carolina to England almost 10 years ago. A lot of his staff followed him. They are all bound to him in someway.

    He's also a counsellor for people with PTSD and has rescued kids thrown out or ran away, or abused. There are four of them here. Returning to normality at their own pace, with jobs they can take pride in.

    A year living here then followed, learning how the house is run, the tricks of the trade and building myself a new lifestyle.

    I train submissive's to be safely submissive, and wanna-be Doms in how to be the perfect dominant, with an added sideline of being a sensualist. I've doggedly researched everything BDSM since I was 13. It is always progressing, and with new techniques and equipment it will continue to do so.

    Everything is running along smoothly, and an ageing Master meets a young gold digging twink. Damon fell head over heels, taking this sub on a world tour, huge yachts, private planes, spend, spend spend. This was over several months. It all ended when the twink found something more shiny, leaving Damon in a broken mess. He went back to Carolina for a while, and came back saying, he was returning to the marines in a senior role and wouldn't be coming back. Signing everything over to me, (he always said he would) but the shock and how his faithful staff took the news, was one heap of responsibility on me. 

    Now everything is running smoothly again. Yes! you might say. I say no.

    Just before Christmas I received a request from a reader, to know more and befriend me. And that he did.

    He's an awesome man, terrific dad, and firefighter. This wonderful man helped me to see, that all I had done, was go from one trap to another.

    That brings another life change, to travel and have the adventures I've never had. Short hauls first, I've never been on a plane. The end goal is backpacking. That's after I've travelled.

    My new life adventure begins............................................

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    Recent Entries

    Want to know what I've been up to recently?

     

    My first offering with Dreamspinner Press under my new publishing pen name J. Alan Veerkamp is now available!

     

    Welcome to my sci-fi holiday short story, Salvaging Claus Day, part of the Dreamspinner Press 2017 Stocking Stuffer Holiday Anthology!

     

    Blurb:

    For three years, Filo has reveled in silence and solitude as the sole occupant of a space station, where he maintains the communication satellite.

     

    Everything changes with the appearance of Luz Espina’s lifepod. Filo shares many interests with the flirtatious Luz, though Filo’s isolation has strained his communication skills. Still, Luz pushes all his buttons… and reminds him of the last man he was attracted to—an attraction that ended in disaster because the man was straight. When Luz learns Filo has never celebrated a holiday, he vows to cobble together a Claus Day celebration for them to share. But is it merely a friendly gesture… or something more?

     

     

    This story is sold exclusively on my J. Alan Veerkamp author page via Dreamspinner Press.

    Click this link and get your copy at Dreamspinner Press here!

    salvaging-claus-day.jpg

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    Recent Entries

    i'll do anything for you, foster the people

     

    never wanna stand up for myself
    never wanna get in the way, i said it
    i don't know what the plan is
    but You can share with me, 'cause i'll
    be listening here
    to everything You say, i won't turn away
    and i will listen, open up my heart and
    i must say that i love You, so...

     

    every day is a battle i face

    strange life i live but its what You've decided
    i'll give it all into Your hands
    do what You will with me, and oh
    i'll smile when you speak
    remember all those times i was hoping for something
    and shaking my head from all i have done
    but You never left me...

     

    give it up for You, i would give it

    up for You

    i would give it up for You, i'd do

    anything for You...

     

     

  6. YA4mT9.jpg

     

    ~~~

    Voilà

     

     

    ~~~

    1. Souvenir (OMD, Moby Remix) Theme General
    2. Je Me Souvien (Lara Fabian) Adrien Se Souvient
    3. Constant Craving (Glee Cover of k.d. Lang) 
      Young Lord Cedrick and the Handsome Stable Boy
    4. The Boy With The Thorn In His Side (The Smiths) The Daggers Of Our Fathers
    5. Memories Fade (Tears For Fears) Farewell To Lucas
    6. The Headmaster's Ritual (The Smiths) Attending Eaton
    7. Chasing Cars (Snow Patrol) The Marquee and Marchioness of Manor House
    8. Sunshine (Keane) Dawn In The Day of Adrien
    9. This Charming Man (The Smiths) Bewitched By Adrien
    10. They Don't Know (Lydia Loveless) Conducting Hazardously
    11. I Knew I Loved You (Savage Garden) Timeless Soulmates
    12. Somewhere Only We Know (Glee Cover of Keane) Private Pains
    13. This Is War (30 Seconds To Mars) An All Too Modern War
    14. Je Suis Un Homme (Charles Parmerlo) Noblesse d'Adrien
    15. If You Leave (OMD) Irretrievable Words
    16. Run (Snow Patrol) Au Revoir Larmoyant
    17. Wild Horses (The Sundays Cover of Rolling Stones)
      Trying To Let Go
    18. Butterfly On A Wheel (The Mission) The Racking Of A Heart
    19. Love Like Blood (The Killing Joke) Another Casualty Of War
    20. Madame Butterfly (Pucinni) A Note At The Opera
    21. Adrian (Jewel) Twilight In The Day of Adrien
    22. Breathe (The Cure) Prayers and Exhortations
    23. A Moment Lost (Enya) 20/20 Hindsight
    24. Here's Where The Story Ends (The Sundays) 
      'A Little Souvenir Of A Terrible Year'

    Souvenir (OMD, Moby Remix) Theme General

    It's my direction

    It's my proposal

    It's so hard

    It's leading me astray

    My obsession

    It's my creation

    You'll understand

    It's not important now

    The conversation

    And condemnation

    I tell the truth

    My feelings still remain

    All I need is

    Co-ordination

    I can't imagine

    My destination

    My intention

    Ask my opinion

    But no excuse

    My feelings still remain

    My feelings still remain


    Je Me Souvien (Lara Fabian) Adrien Se Souvient

    Des fleurs de lys blanches sous un ciel bleu de cristal

    Des balades sous une neige en forme d’étoile

    Des érables aux couleurs d’une passion fatale

    Je n’oublie rien de rien,

    Je me souviens

    Les odeurs d’une forêt qu’un beau lac dévoile

    Les reflets d’un grand feu sur nos visages pâles

    Une lumière intense par des nuits boréales

    Je n’oublie rien de rien,

    Je me souviens

    J’aime tes poèmes, ton coeur, ta liberté

    Tu es la seule terre où

    Mon âme s’est posée

    Un accent dont personne ne connaît les secrets

    Un français qui s’élance dans des mots oubliés

    Une manière inimitable de chanter

    Je n’oublie rien de rien,

    Je me souviens

    J’aime tes blasphèmes, ta foi, ta dignité

    Tu es comme une île

    Que l’on ne peut pas quitter

    J’aime tes poèmes, ton coeur, ta liberté

    Tu es comme une île

    Que l’on ne veut pas quitter

    Des paysages qui mélangent au plus que parfait

    Des dessins que la nature ne refait jamais

    L’impression d’être entrée au jardin de la paix

    Je n’oublie rien de rien

    Et je reviens


    Constant Craving - k.d. lang

    Even through the darkest phase

    Be it thick or thin

    Always someone marches brave

    Here beneath my skin

    And constant craving

    Has always been

    Maybe a great magnet pulls

    All souls towards truth

    Or maybe it is life itself

    That feeds wisdom

    To its youth

    Constant craving

    Has always been

    Craving

    Ah ha

    Constant craving

    Has always been

    Has always been

    Constant craving

    Has always been

    Constant craving

    Has always been

    Craving

    Ah ha

    Constant craving

    Has always been

    Has always been

    Has always been

    Has always been

    Has always been

    Has always been


    The Boy With The Thorn In His Side (The Smiths) The Daggers Of Our Fathers

    The boy with the thorn in his side

    Behind the hatred there lies

    A murderous desire for love

    How can they look into my eyes

    And still they don't believe me?

    How can they hear me say those words

    Still they don't believe me?

    And if they don't believe me now

    Will they ever believe me?

    And if they don't believe me now

    Will they ever, they ever, believe me?

    Oh

    The boy with the thorn in his side

    Behind the hatred there lies

    A plundering desire for love

    How can they see the Love in our eyes

    And still they don't believe us?

    And after all this time

    They don't want to believe us

    And if they don't believe us now

    Will they ever believe us?

    And when you want to live

    How do you start?

    Where do you go?

    Who do you need to know?

    Oh

    Oh no

    Oh

    La


    Memories Fade (Tears For Fears) Farewell To Lucas

    There's only need

    I love your need

    So much I'm losing me

    I cannot see the reason for the Pain

    With hungry joy

    I'll be your toy

    Just hoping you will play

    Without hope my body starts to fail

    Memories fade but the scars still linger

    Goodbye my friend

    Will I ever love again

    Memories fade but the scars still linger

    I cannot grow

    I cannot move

    I cannot feel my age

    The vice like grip of tension holds me fast

    Engulfed by you

    What can I do

    When History's my cage

    Look foward to a future in the past

    The more I talk

    The more I say

    The less you seem to hear

    I'm speechless in a most peculiar way

    Your mind is weak

    Your need is great

    And nothing is too dear

    For you to use to take the Pain away

    Memories Fade

    No don't pretend you can justify the end

    Memories fade but the scars still linger


    The Headmaster's Ritual (The Smiths) Attending Eaton

    Belligerent ghouls

    Run Manchester schools

    Spineless swines

    Cemented minds

    Sir leads the troops

    Jealous of youth

    Same old suit since nineteen sixty two

    He does the military two-step down

    The nape of my neck

    I want to go home

    I don't want to stay

    Give up education

    As a bad mistake

    Mid-week on the playing fields

    Sir thwacks you on the knees

    Knees you in the groin

    Elbow in the face

    Bruises bigger than dinner plates

    I want to go home

    I don't want to stay

    Da-da-da

    Da-da-da

    Da-da-da

    Da-da-da

    Da-da-da

    Da-da-da

    Da-da-da

    Da-da-da

    Da-da-da

    Da-da-da

    Belligerent ghouls

    Run Manchester schools

    Spineless bastards all

    Sir leads the troops

    Jealous of youth

    Same old jokes since nineteen- oh- two

    He does the military two-step down

    The nape of my neck

    I want to go home

    I don't want to stay

    Give up life

    As a bad mistake

    Please excuse me from gym

    I've got this terrible cold coming on

    He grabs and devours

    He kicks me in the showers

    Kicks me in the showers

    And he grabs and devours

    I want to go home

    I don't want to stay


    Chasing Cars (Snow Patrol) The Marquee and Marchioness of Manor House

    We'll do it all

    Everything

    On our own

    We don't need

    Anything

    Or anyone

    If I lay here

    If I just lay here

    Would you lay with me and just forget the world?

    I don't quite know

    How to say

    How I feel

    Those three words

    Are said too much

    They're not enough

    If I lay here

    If I just lay here

    Would you lay with me and just forget the world?

    Forget what we're told

    Before we get too old

    Show me a garden that's bursting into life

    Let's waste time

    Chasing cars

    Around our heads

    If I lay here

    If I just lay here

    Would you lay with me and just forget the world?

    Forget what we're told

    Before we get too old

    Show me a garden that's bursting into life

    All that I am

    All that I ever was

    Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see

    I don't know where

    Confused about how as well

    Just know that these things will never change for us at all

    If I lay here

    If I just lay here

    Would you lay with me and just forget the world?


    Sunshine - Keane

    I hold you in my hands

    A little animal

    And only some dumb idiot would let you go

    But if I'm one thing then that's the one thing

    I should know...

    Can anybody find their home?

    Out of everyone can anybody find their home?

    I hold you in cupped hands

    And shield you from a storm

    Where only some dumb idiot would let you go

    But if I'm one thing then that's the one thing

    I should know...

    Can anybody find their home?

    Out of everyone can anybody find their home?

    Lost in the sun can anybody find their home?

    Come on, come on, come on

    Can anybody find their home?

    Oh

    Can anybody find their home?

    Out of everyone can anybody find their home?

    Lost in the sun can anybody find their home?

    Come on, come on, come on

    Can anybody find their home?

    Oh can anybody find their home?

    Oh can anybody find their home?

    Oh can anybody find their home?


    This Charming Man (The Smiths) Bewitched By Adrien

    On Two bicycles

    On a hillside desolate

    Could nature make a man of me yet?

    Under this charming car

    This charming man

    Why ponder life's complexies

    When the leather runs smooth

    On the passenger seat?

    I would go out tonight

    But I haven't got a stitch to wear

    This man said it's crucial

    That someone so handsome should care

    I'm just a country boy

    Who never knew his place

    He said return the ring

    He knows so much about these things

    He knows so much about these things

    I would go out tonight

    But I haven't got a stitch to wear

    This man said it's crucial

    That someone so handsome should care

    La, la-la, la-la, la-la, this charming man,

    La, la-la, la-la, la-la, this charming man

    Ah! I'm just a country boy

    Who never knew his place

    He said return the ring

    He knows so much about these things x3


    They Don't Know (Lydia Loveless) Conducting Hazardously

    You've been around for such a long time now

    Oh maybe I could leave you but I don't know how

    And why should I be lonely every night

    When I can be with you

    Oh yes you make it right

    And I don't listen to the guys who say

    That you're bad for me and I should turn you away

    'Cos they don't know about us

    And they've never heard of love

    I get a feeling when I look at you

    Wherever you go now I wanna be there too

    They say we're crazy but I just don't care

    And if they keep on talking still they get nowhere

    So I don't mind if they don't understand

    When I look at you and you hold my hand

    'Cos they don't know about us

    And they've never heard of love

    Why should it matter to us if they don't approve

    We should just take our chances while we've got nothing to lose

    Baby

    There's no need for living in the past

    Now I've found good loving gonna make it last

    I tell the others don't bother me

    'Cos when they look at you they don't see what I see

    No I don't listen to their wasted lines

    Got my eyes wide open and I see the signs

    But they don't know about us

    And they've never heard of love

    No I don't listen to their wasted lines

    Got my eyes wide open and I see the signs

    But they don't know about us

    And they've never heard of love


    I Knew I Loved You (Savage Garden) Timeless Soulmates

    Maybe it's intuition

    But some things you just don't question

    Like in your eyes

    I see my future in an instant

    and there it goes

    I think I've found my best friend

    I know that it might sound more than

    a little crazy but I believe

    I knew I loved you before I met you

    I think I dreamed you into life

    I knew I loved you before I met you

    I have been waiting all my life

    There's just no rhyme or reason

    only this sense of completion

    and in your eyes

    I see the missing pieces

    I'm searching for

    I think I found my way home

    I know that it might sound more than

    a little crazy but I believe

    I knew I loved you before I met you

    I think I dreamed you into life

    I knew I loved you before I met you

    I have been waiting all my life

    A thousand angels dance around you

    I am complete now that I found you

    I knew I loved you before I met you

    I think I dreamed you into life

    I knew I loved you before I met you

    I have been waiting all my life


    Somewhere Only We Know (Glee' Warbler Cover of Keane) Private Pains

    I walked across an empty land

    I knew the pathway like the back of my hand

    I felt the earth beneath my feet

    Sat by the river and it made me complete

    Oh simple thing where have you gone?

    I'm getting old and I need something to rely on

    So tell me when you're gonna let me in

    I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

    I came across a fallen tree

    I felt the branches of it looking at me

    Is this the place we used to love?

    Is this the place that I've been dreaming of?

    Oh simple thing where have you gone?

    I'm getting old and I need something to rely on

    So tell me when you're gonna let me in

    I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

    And if you have a minute why don't we go

    Talk about it somewhere only we know?

    This could be the end of everything

    So why don't we go

    Somewhere only we know?

    Somewhere only we know?

    Oh simple thing where have you gone?

    I'm getting old and I need something to rely on

    So tell me when you're gonna let me in

    I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

    And if you have a minute why don't we go

    Talk about it somewhere only we know?

    This could be the end of everything

    So why don't we go?

    So why don't we go?

    Ah-ah-ah

    Ah-ah-ah

    This could be the end of everything

    So why don't we go

    Somewhere only we know?

    Somewhere only we know?

    Somewhere only we know?


    This Is War (30 Seconds To Mars) An All Too Modern War

    A warning to the people, the good and the evil

    This is war

    To the soldier, the civilian, the martyr, the victim

    This is war

    It's the moment of truth, and the moment to lie

    The moment to live, and the moment to die

    The moment to fight, the moment to fight

    To fight, to fight, to fight

    To the right, to the left

    We will fight to the death

    To the edge of the Earth

    It's a brave new world from the last to the first

    To the right, to the left

    We will fight to the death

    To the edge of the Earth

    It's a brave new world, it's a brave new world

    (Whoa-oh, whoa-oh)

    A warning to the prophet, the liar, the honest

    This is war

    Oh, to the leader, the pariah, the victor, the messiah

    This is war

    It's the moment of truth, and the moment to lie

    The moment to live, and the moment to die

    The moment to fight, the moment to fight

    To fight, to fight, to fight

    To the right, to the left

    We will fight to the death

    To the edge of the Earth

    It's a brave new world from the last to the first

    To the right, to the left

    We will fight to the death

    To the edge of the Earth

    It's a brave new world, it's a brave new world

    It's a brave new world

    I do believe in the light

    Raise your hands up to the sky

    The fight is done, the war is won

    Lift your hands toward the sun

    Toward the sun (it's the moment of truth, and the moment to lie)

    (The moment to live...)

    Toward the sun (it's the moment of truth, and the moment to lie)

    (The moment to live...)

    Toward the sun (the moment to fight)

    (The moment to fight, the moment to fight)

    The war is won (to fight, to fight, to fight)

    (To fight, to fight, to fight)

    To the right, to the left

    We will fight to the death

    To the edge of the Earth

    It's a brave new world from the last to the first

    To the right, to the left

    We will fight to the death

    To the edge of the Earth

    It's a brave new world, it's a brave new world

    It's a brave new world

    A brave new world

    The war is won

    The war is won

    A brave new world


    Je Suis Un Homme (Charles Parmerlo) Noblesse d'Adrien

    Je suis un homme de Cro-Magnon

    Je suis un singe ou un poisson

    Sur la Terre, en toute saison

    Moi, je tourne en rond

    Je tourne en rond

    Je suis un seul, puis des millions

    Je suis un homme au cœur de lion.

    À la guerre en toute saison

    Moi, je tourne en rond

    Je tourne en rond

    Je suis un homme plein d'ambition

    Belle voiture et belle maison

    Dans la chambre, dans le salon

    Moi, je tourne en rond

    Je tourne en rond

    J'ai fait l'amour et la révolution

    J'ai fait le tour de la question

    J'avance, avance à reculons

    Oui, je tourne en rond

    Je tourne en rond

    (Refrain)

    Tu vois, j'suis pas un homme.

    Je suis le roi

    De l'illusion.

    Au fond, qu'on me pardonne.

    Je suis le roi.

    Le roi des cons.

    J'ai fait le Monde à ma façon

    Coulé dans l'or et le béton

    Corps en cage, cœur en prison

    Moi, je tourne en rond

    Je tourne en rond

    Assis devant ma télévision

    Je suis de l'Homme la négation

    Pur produit de consommation

    Oui, mon compte est bon

    Mon compte est bon

    (Refrain)

    Tu vois, j'suis pas un homme.

    Je suis le roi

    De l'illusion.

    Au fond, qu'on me pardonne.

    Je suis le roi.

    Le roi des cons.

    C'est moi

    Le maître du feu

    Le maître du jeu

    Le maître du Monde

    Et vois ce que j'en ai fait

    Une terre glacée

    Une terre brûlée

    La Terre des Hommes

    Que les hommes abandonnent

    Je suis un homme au pied du mur

    Comme une erreur de la nature

    Sur la Terre, sans d'autre raison.

    Moi, je tourne en rond

    Je tourne en rond

    Je suis un homme et je mesure

    Toute l'horreur de ma nature.

    Pour ma peine, ma punition

    Moi, je tourne en rond

    Je tourne en rond


    If You Leave (OMD) Irretrievabe Words

    If you leave, don't leave now

    Please don't take my heart away

    Promise me, just one more night

    Then we'll go our separate ways

    We've always had time on our side

    Now it's fading fast

    Every second, every moment

    We've gotta make it last

    I touch you once, I touch you twice

    I won't let go at any price

    I need you now like I need you then

    You always said we'd still be friends someday

    If you leave I won't cry

    I won't waste one single day

    But if you leave don't look back

    I'll be running the other way

    Seven years went under the bridge

    Like time was standing still

    Heaven knows what happens now

    You've gotta say you will

    I'll touch you once, I'll touch you twice

    I won't let go at any price

    I need you now like I need you then

    You always said we'd meet again

    I touch you once, I touch you twice

    I won't let go at any price

    I need you now like I need you then

    You always said we'd still be friends

    I touch you once, I touch you twice

    I won't let go at any price

    I need you now like I need you then

    You always said we'd meet again someday

    If you leave

    If you leave

    If you leave

    Don't look back

    Don't look back


    Run (Snow Patrol) Au Revoir Larmoyant

    I'll sing it one last time for you

    Then we really have to go

    You've been the only thing that's right

    In all I've done

    And I can barely look at you

    But every single time I do

    I know we'll make it anywhere

    Away from here.

    Light up, Light up

    As if you have a choice

    Even if you cannot hear my voice

    I'll be right beside you dear

    Louder, louder

    And we'll run for our lives

    I can hardly speak I understand

    Why you can't raise your voice to say.

    To think I might not see those eyes

    It makes it so hard not to cry

    And as we say our long goodbyes

    I nearly do

    Light up, light up

    As if you have a choice

    Even if you cannot hear my voice

    I'll be right beside you dear

    Louder, louder

    And we'll run for our lives

    I can hardly speak I understand

    Why you can't raise your voice to say

    Slower, slower

    We don't have time for that

    All I want is to find an easier way

    To get out of our little heads

    Have heart my dear

    We're bound to be afraid

    Even if it's just for a few days

    Making up for all this mess

    Light up, light up

    As if you have a choice

    Even if you cannot hear my voice

    I'll be right beside you dear.


    Wild Horses (The Sundays Cover of Rolling Stones) Trying To Let Go

    Childhood living is easy to do

    The things that you wanted, I bought them for you

    Graceless Baby, you know who I am

    You know I can't let you slide through my hands

    (Refrain)

    Wild horses couldn't drag me away

    Wild horses couldn't drag me away...

    I watched you suffer a dull, aching pain

    And now you've decided to show me the same

    No sweeping exits or offstage lines

    Could make me feel bitter or treat you unkind

    (Refrain)


    Butterfly On A Wheel (The Mission) The Racking Of A Heart

    Silver and gold and it's growing cold

    Autumn leaves lay as thick as thieves

    Shivers down your spine chill you to the bone

    'cos the mandolin wind is the melody that turns your heart to stone

    The heat of your breath carving shadows in the mist

    Every angel has the wish that he's never been kissed

    A broken dream haunting in your sleep

    And hiding in your smile

    A secret you must keep, love cuts you deep

    Love breaks the wings of a butterfly on a wheel Love breaks the wings of a butterfly on a wheel

    There's no scarlet in you, lay your veil down for me

    As sure as god made wine, you can't wrap your arms around a memory

    Take warmth from me, cold autumn wind cut sharp as a knife

    And in the dark for me, you're the candle flame that flickers to life

    Love breaks the wings of a butterfly on a wheel

    Love breaks the wings of a butterfly on a wheel

    Love will break the wings of a butterfly on a wheel

    Love breaks the wings of a butterfly on a wheel

    Wise man say all is fair in love and war

    And there's no right or wrong in the design of love

    And i could only watch as the wind crushed your wings

    Broken and torn, crushed like a flower under the snow

    And like the flower in spring

    Love will rise again to heal your wings

    Love heals the wings of a butterfly on a wheel

    Love will heal the wings of a butterfly on a wheel

    Love heals the wings of a butterfly on a wheel

    Love will heal the wings of a butterfly on a wheel


    Love Like Blood (The Killing Joke) Another Casualty Of War

    We must play our lives like soldiers in the field

    The life is short, I'm running faster all the time

    Strength and beauty destined to decay

    So cut the rose in full bloom

    Till the fearless come and the act is done

    A love like blood, a love like blood

    Till the fearless come and the act is done

    A love like blood, a love like blood

    Everyday through all frustration and despair

    Love and hate fight with burning hearts

    Till legends live and man is God again

    And self-preservation rules the day no more

    Oh, we must dream of promised lands and fields

    That's never fade in season

    As we move towards no end we learn to die

    Red tears are shed on gray

    Till the fearless come and the act is done

    A love like blood, a love like blood

    Till the fearless come and the act is done

    A love like blood, a love like blood

    Till the fearless come and the act is done

    A love like blood, a love like blood

    Till the fearless come and the act is done

    A love like blood, a love like blood


    Madame Butterfly (Pucinni) A Note At The Opera

    One good day, we will see

    Arising a strand of smoke

    Over the far horizon on the sea

    And then the ship appears

    And then the ship is white

    It enters into the port, it rumbles its salute.

    Do you see it? He is coming!

    I don't go down to meet him, not I.

    I stay upon the edge of the hill

    And I wait a long time

    but I do not grow weary of the long wait.

    And leaving from the crowded city,

    A man, a little speck

    Climbing the hill.

    Who is it? Who is it?

    And as he arrives

    What will he say? What will he say?

    He will call Butterfly from the distance

    I without answering

    Stay hidden

    A little to tease him,

    A little as to not die.

    At the first meeting,

    And then a little troubled

    He will call, he will call

    "Little one, dear wife

    Blossom of orange"

    The names he called me at his last coming.

    (To Suzuki)

    All this will happen,

    I promise you this

    Hold back your fears -

    I with secure faith wait for him.


    Adrian (Jewel) Twilight In The Day of Adrien

    Adrian came home again last summer

    things just haven't been the same around here

    people talk

    people stare

    oh, adrian, come out and play

    An unfortunate accident in a canoe

    dr. said, 'i'm sorry, not much i can do'

    the air was so still

    his eyes did not blink

    oh, adrian, come out and play

    Little mary epperson liked him

    she vowed always to watch after him

    still he did not move

    dr. said it's no use

    oh, adrian, come out and play

    She sat by his side, watched the years fly by

    he looked so fragile, he looked so small

    she wondered why he was still alive at all

    Everyone in town had that 'i'm so sorry look'

    they talked in a whispered hush, said

    'i'd turn the machines off'

    but still she sat by his side

    said, 'life he won't be denied'

    oh adrian, come out and play

    Yellow flowers decorate his bedroom

    sign above his door says welcome home

    but he just sits and stares

    he's awake but still not there

    oh, adrian, come out and play

    She sat by his side, watched the years fly by

    he looked so fragile, he looked so small

    she wondered why he was still alive at all

    And little mary apperson grew up lovely

    she still comes to visit him on sundays

    he's like an unused toy

    he's got big hands but the mind of a little boy

    oh, adrian, come out and play

    Adrian came home again last summer

    things just haven't been the same around here


    Breathe (The Cure) Prayers and Exhortations

    Breathe

    Breathe on me

    Be like you used to be

    Breathe on me

    Move in me

    Be like you used to be

    Move in me

    Move in me


    A Moment Lost (Enya) 20/20 Hindsight

    It's only now, when words are said

    that break my heart in two,

    I wonder how you can endure

    all I've said, all I say to you.

    How strong, how brave, how true of you

    to bear the hurt I gave.

    I know it tears your heart in two;

    all I've said, all I say to you.

    After all the words are said,

    after all the dreams we made;

    ev'ry one a precious one,

    ev'ry one a summer sun...

    A moment lost, forever gone,

    can never be again,

    so know how much it means to me;

    all you said,

    all you gave,

    all your love to me.


    Here's Where The Story Ends (The Sundays) 
    'A Little Souvenir Of A Terrible Year'

    People I know, places I go

    Make me feel tongue tied

    I can see how, people look down

    They're on the inside

    Here's where the story ends

    People I see, weary of me

    Showing my good side

    I can see how, people look down

    I'm on the outside

    Here's, where the story ends Ooh here's, where the story ends

    It's that little souvenir, of a terrible year

    Which makes my eyes feel sore

    Oh I never should have said, the books that you read

    Were all I loved you for

    It's that little souvenir, of a terrible year

    Which makes me wonder why

    And it's the memories of the shed, that make me turn red

    Surprise, surprise, surprise

    Crazy I know, places I go

    Make me feel so tired

    I can see how people look down

    I'm on the outside

    Here's, where the story ends Ooh here's, where the story ends

    It's that little souvenir, of a terrible year

    Which makes my eyes feel sore

    And who ever would've thought, the books that you brought

    Were all I loved you for

    Oh the devil in me said, go down to the shed

    I know where I belong

    But the only thing I ever really wanted to say

    Was wrong, was wrong, was wrong

    It's that little souvenir, of a colorful year

    Which makes me smile inside

    So I cynically, cynically say, the world is that way

    Surprise, surprise, surprise, surprise, surprise

    Here's, where the story ends Ooh here's, where the story ends

  7. Renee Stevens
    Latest Entry

    By Renee Stevens,

    fFaA0T7znTL3ueAphp0M1W1GdmFnVeMIluM3GahZ

     

    I'd like to thank all of the authors who participated in the Halloween Short Story Contest! There were a lot of great entries and I'm sure it was hard to choose who to vote for. Thank you everyone who voted for your favorite story and a big Thank You to Reader1810 for collecting the votes. Stories will be properly attributed to the correct authors very soon. Congratulations to the winners: @aditus @Mikiesboy and @Dodger!!!!

     

    dDipgbBgGl7DxNOCnOMNqNlFcLVHr8f4FROG7SDi

     

    cZguwtcYb0GYeYiBOESIDPmpEWU6xYKxIKYYvyLO

     

    yuHxcjBYzXIg18lXVT9FaQnYFBYG79fxgErF4HU1

     

    The first place winner will receive a 6 month premium membership, the 2nd place winner will receive a 3 month premium membership, and the 3rd place winner will receive a 1 month premium membership. All winners need to contact me to let me know if they would like their prize attributed to their account or would like to give it away to someone else.

     

    And now, time for the big Author Reveal!!!!

    Dom Does Halloween
    Mikiesboy

    In Between
    Craftingmom

    Zombies Like Us
    Dodger

    Horrible Holiday
    Comicfan

    Calavera
    CassieQ

    Shade
    Cole Matthews

    Purgatory
    Aditus

    The House on O'Reilly Hill
    Carl Holiday

    Oh, The Humanity!
    Valkyrie

    The Naked and the Dead
    Bill W

    If You Go Out In The Woods Today
    Puppilull

     

     

     

  8. First off, apologies to everyone who wondered where I wandered off to. I went home this weekend to go curling in a local bonspiel (tournament) with my team from two years ago. We just lost on the A-side semifinals, and it feels bittersweet to me.

     

    First the good. I'm so proud of the four of us. We can back together after a season away from each other and we took a perennial provincial qualifier right into the last shot of the extra end. We made the semifinals and to get there we beat a different junior provincial champion. We were under pressure from the other teams right from game one on Friday and we held together and kept each other's spirits up, even in the grim moments we had at different points in the weekend. 

    I've been curling for fifteen years now, and I will never, ever curl as well as I did this weekend ever again. Something changed in me this weekend, and maybe it was the fact that this was supposed to be fun and none of the usual attendant pressure was with me in the competition, but I was utterly at ease and was making shots that world champions hesitate on. I made it look easy this weekend, and for once I didn't get down on myself when I did miss a shot or two. This weekend was a test for me to see if I could honestly compete with people at a provincial championship and who are the top calibre players in the province. The fact that I kept pace with these people made me feel good about myself, and even if it ends up being fleeting and I never get it back, I know that I have that capacity within me to shine and lead the way. As time goes on I'll forget the individual shots that were made or missed, but I won't forget this feeling of being so completely at ease and simply knowing that I could do anything. 

    My team was magnificent, I couldn't ask for three better people to play with again. All three rose to the occasion and being around people who accept me for who I am made all of this worthwhile. My boys are crazy, but playing with them made a good weekend that much better. A special shoutout to my one teammate who hadn't even played since the last time we were all together, and who shook the rust off in plenty of time for us to push towards playoff Sunday. 

     

    With all of the fun that I had and the memories I made, I'd be remiss unless I reflected on the things that just didn't work out. 

     

    Losing hurt. Losing by half an inch in the extra end hurt more. The part that kills me is that's on me. A split second lapse in judgment and a second's worth of hesitation cost us a chance at the championship finals. I compounded that error by not pressing the option I had to measure, even though I was pretty sure that we still would have lost. I should have asked for a measure, as it could have given us a win.

    There were some ugly misses along with my good shotmaking, and it is to my detriment that I wasn't able to correct those mistakes even during the game. It was a consistent inability to read the ice and get a handle on the weight for the shots being called, and it very nearly cost us our early games as well. 

    I was disappointed by the amount of drinking done by my teammates. I don't drink, and while I understand that other younger people like to drink on the weekends and at events like this, we're still also competitors. There's no need to have multiple pitchers of beer in a single night, especially when we've got a game the following morning. That couldn't have benefited their play, and  of course we'll never know how things could have gone down if everyone had been completely sober. 

     

    I'm glad I came down, and I proved a lot to myself this weekend. But I won't deny that this hurt more than I thought it would to get so close and fall short.

  9. Raphael Farmer
    Latest Entry

    I am very excited to share my brand new short story with you guys. This one is called FIREFLY and is available for free. I wrote this one in one sitting as it was one of those occasions where everything just fell into place in my head. It is darker than my previous short story so it'll be different. Hope you guys like it. Let me know what you think. :D

     

    For 14 year old Jon, the best thing about his friend Patrick is his good-looking older brother, Spencer. It’s just a crush, after all – what harm could come from wanting to spend a little more time with Spencer? But when Jon’s crush grows from love into obsession, all the usual boundaries become blurred – and he becomes willing to risk everything to get what he wants. 


    My new ebook FIREFLY is now available for FREE. Follow the link to download your copy.


    https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/755179
     

    Firefly Cover Web JPG.jpg

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    Recent Entries

    clochette
    Latest Entry

    Hello my little flower I love so very much.

     

    As every Monday I come spend I little moment with you my love. When a good 10 hours ago we were still in each other arms honey and you know kitten it is really sad that Sunday only last one day. If only we could still be Sunday today to be close to you my love. Alas we have to wait until Thursday evening. 

    You know kitten I am feeling so happy next to you I do not know how to tell you at times. I hope you had a nice Sunday my love.

    There is only one thing to regret when we are together it is that time flies too quickly. Finally, a day will come when we shall be united to each other for ever. 

    On this note I will leave you for today my treasure.

    Your little husband who loves you with thousands of sweet kisses

     

    This is a love letter my grandfather wrote to my grandmother when they were dating, a few months before they got married. We have a whole shoebox of them, most are from this period of their lives, other are just from a few years ago. Mom saved them to scan before grandma decides what she wants to do with them before leaving. 

    He was a man of very few words and I can say I never heard him say that much terms of endearment to my grandma in a whole week. I guess they were very private.

    Reading those letters make it even stronger how their love was the real kind, the kind you only read in books, see in movies and dreams of for yourself.

    I hope one day I'll be someone's little flower and he'll be my big love.

     

  10. 6sJRfZ7.jpg

     

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

     

    Music

     

     

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

     

    Track List and Lyrics

     

    1. Iris (Goo Goo Dolls) – Main Theme of the Billy Chase Chronicles
    2. Secrets (OneRepublic) – Billy’s Secret Life
    3. Killing Me Softly With His Song (Roberta Flack) – From The Reader
    4. Oh Dear Diary (Sloan) – Billy’s Closet Case
    5. They Long to Be Close to You (Glee Cover of Carpenters) – Jamie ‘F#king’ Cross! (Siiiiiiiiiigh)
    6. I Want You (Savage Garden) – Billy’s Kaleidoscope Of Crushes
    7. Feel The Silence (Goo Goo Dolls) – Billy Just Can’t Get Some
    8. I Don’t Want Your Love (Duran Duran) – Joanna x Billy (Not)
    9. First Time He Kissed A Boy (Kadie Elder) – Billy: No Longer Sweet 14
    10. Suck me Off (Boy Pussy) - Virginity is Overrated
    11. Filthy/Gorgeous (Scissor Sisters) - AJ The Whore
    12. Taken In (Mike & The Mechanics) - This Isn't What Love Is
    13. Pale Shelter (Tears For Fears) - AJ’s Def Not The One
    14. The More you Live, The More You Love (A Flock Of Seagulls) - Lessons Learned
    15. Bubble Butt (Major Lazer and Friends) -B-B-B-Bobby Jennette
    16. Love/Paranoia (Tame Impala) - True Lust vs. True Love
    17. Secret Smile (Semisonic) – Brandon Smiling
    18. Love (John Lennon) – So This Is Love!
    19. Kiss me (Sixpence None The Richer) – True Love’s First Kiss
    20. Cinnamon (Cullen Omori) – Tasting Brandon
    21. Sexual Healing – Remix (Marvin Gay) – Brandon the Addiction
    22. Careless Whisper (George Michael) - Mistakes and Consequences
    23. Mad World (Tears For Fears) - A World Without Brandon
    24. Hurting Each Other (The Carpenters) -Unanswered Prayers
    25. I’m Already Gone (A Day To Remember) - Broken and Gone
    26. Lonely In Your Nightmare (Duran Duran) – There’s Always Someone Else In Need of Love
    27. Be My Icon (Duran Duran) – Jimmy LaPlane’s Obsession
    28. Hurts Too Much - Remix (Cinnamon Chasers) - Letters From Jimmy
    29. Leave me Alone (FIDLAR) – This Is Billy Having Enough
    30. Teenage Blue (Dream Girl) – Dying By Degrees
    31. After All This Time (Itchyworms) – Melting Ice?
    32. Trust (The Cure) - The Hill, Billy’s Plea
    33. Tell Me Why (Nine Pound Shadow) – The Hill, Brandon Questioning
    34. To Be Forgiven (George Michael) – Apologies and Acceptance
    35. Come To Me (Goo Goo Dolls) – Billy and Brandon Together Again!
    36. Don’t Dream Its Over (Sixpence None The Richer Cover of Crowded House) - Promises Made
    37. The Reason (Hoobastank) – Billy’s Truth
    38. Fifteen (Taylor Swift) – Billy and Teenagering
    39. Teenage Dream (Glee Cover of Katy Perry) – Music Shops and Special Visitors
    40. Lovin U (Cinnamon Chasers) – Loving Someone Is Always The Right Answer
    41. Hazel Eyes (Maria Ayo) – A Look Brighter Than Stars
    42. Together (Cinnamon Chasers) – Boys Inseparable
    43. Sexy Boy – Remix (Air) – Just Looking At Him!
    44. Your Sex Is A Dream (Trevor Something) – Sex With Love = Pure Heaven
    45. The Mess We’re In (P.J. Harvey) – Getting Caught
    46. Distance And Time (Alicia Keys) – Cooling Off Period
    47. Pretty Boy (Young Galaxy) – The Prettiest Boy In School
    48. Not Enough Time (INXS) – Even Forever Wouldn’t Be Enough
    49. In Your Eyes (Glee Cover of Peter Gabriel) – Living In Brandon's Eyes
    50. I Can’t Ever Get Enough Of You (Darren Hayes) – Insatiable Love

    Lyrics


    Iris (Goo Goo Dolls) – Main Theme of the Billy Chase Chronicles

    And I'd give up forever to touch you

    'Cause I know that you feel me somehow

    You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be

    And I don't want to go home right now

    And all I can taste is this moment

    And all I can breathe is your life

    'Cause sooner or later it's over

    I just don't wanna miss you tonight

    And I don't want the world to see me

    'Cause I don't think that they'd understand

    When everything's made to be broken

    I just want you to know who I am

    .....of who I am

    When you can't fight the tears that are coming

    Or the moment of truth in your lies

    When everything feels like the movies

    Yeah you bleed just to know you're alive

    And I don't want the world to see me

    'Cause I don't think that they'd understand

    When everything's made to be broken

    I just want you to know who I am

    .....of who I am

    .....of who I am

    .....of who I am

    And I don't want the world to see me

    'Cause I don't think that they'd understand

    When everything's made to be broken

    I just want you to know who I am

    And I don't want the world to see me

    'Cause I don't think that they'd understand

    When everything's made to be broken

    I just want you to know who I am

    I just want you to know who I am

    I just want you to know who I am

    I just want you to know who I am


    Secrets (OneRepublic) – Billy’s Secret Life

    I need another story

    Something to get off my chest

    My life gets kinda boring

    Need something that I can confess

    Til' all my sleeves are stained red

    From all the truth that I've said

    Come by it honestly I swear

    I thought you saw me wink, no

    I've been on the brink to

    Tell me what you want to hear

    Something that will light those ears

    I'm sick of all the insincere

    I'm gonna give all my secrets away

    This time, don't need another perfect lie

    Critics ever jump in line

    I'm gonna give all my secrets away

    My God, amazing how we come this far

    It's like we're chasing all those stars

    Who's driving shiny big black cars

    And everyday I see the news

    And the problems that we could solve

    When a situation rises

    Just write it into an album

    Send it straight to gold

    I don't really like my flow

    Tell me what you want to hear

    Something that are like those years

    I'm sick of all the insincere

    I'm gonna give all my secrets away

    This time, don't need another perfect lie

    Don't care if critics never jump in line

    I'm gonna give all my secrets away

    Got no reason, got no shame

    Got no family I can't blame

    Just don't let me disappear

    I'mma tell you everything

    Tell me what you want to hear

    Something that'll light those ears

    I'm sick of all the insincere

    I'm gonna give all my secrets away

    This time, don't need another perfect lie

    Don't care if critics never jump in line

    I'm gonna give all my secrets

    All my secrets away

    So I'm gonna give all my secrets away


    Killing Me Softly With His Song (Roberta Flack) – From the Reader

    Strumming my pain with his fingers

    Singing my life with his words

    Killing me softly with his song

    Killing me softly with his song

    Telling my whole life with his words

    Killing me softly with his song

    I heard he sang a good song, I heard he had a style

    And so I came to see him to listen for a while

    And there he was this young boy, a stranger to my eyes

    Strumming my pain with his fingers

    Singing my life with his words

    Killing me softly with his song

    Killing me softly with his song

    Telling my whole life with his words

    Killing me softly with his song

    I felt all flushed with fever, embarrassed by the crowd

    I felt he found my letters and read each one out loud

    I prayed that he would finish but he just kept right on

    Strumming my pain with his fingers

    Singing my life with his words

    Killing me softly with his song

    Killing me softly with his song

    Telling my whole life with his words

    Killing me softly with his song

    He sang as if he knew me in all my dark despair

    And then he looked right through me as if I wasn't there

    But he just kept on singing, singing clear and strong

    Strumming my pain with his fingers

    Singing my life with his words

    Killing me softly with his song

    Killing me softly with his song

    Telling my whole life with his words

    Killing me softly with his song


    Oh Dear Diary (Sloan) – Billy’s Closet Case

    Oh Dear Diary,

    You didn't hear it from me,

    But I know I know something I shouldn't know,

    And you're the only one I can tell

    I'll write it in code

    Cause if somebody showed

    You around I'm bound to lose every friend

    And what am I supposed to do then?

    They must not see

    You oh dear diary

    You're the secret I must keep at any cost

    If they read

    The painful poetry

    And they find out that I feel all will be lost

    I'm trying to make sense,

    Feelings so intense,

    It's hard to cut the dramatics whenever you're young,

    I'm writing every word of it down

    You'd know what I mean

    If you could have seen

    It was like a coincidence only turned on its head,

    It took me 20 pages to tell

    If they see

    You oh dear diary

    I'm a liar that's expected in your youth

    They can't know

    That I feel and so

    You'll be on fire and they'll never know the truth

    Oh dear diary

    Your secret's safe with me

    If you're found on the ground of the school I'll be dead,

    I hear them chanting off with his head

    Oh dear diary,

    You didn't hear it from me,

    But I know I know something I shouldn't know

    And you're the only one I can tell


    They Long to Be Close to You (Glee Cover of Carpenters) – Jamie ‘F#king’ Cross! (Siiiiiiiiiigh)

    Why do birds suddenly appear

    Every time you are near?

    Just like me, they long to be

    Close to you

    Why do stars fall down from the sky

    Every time you walk by?

    Just like me, they long to be

    Close to you

    On the day that you were born the angels got together

    And decided to create a dream come true

    So they sprinkled moon dust in your hair of gold and starlight in your eyes of blue

    That is why all the boys in town

    Follow you all around

    Just like me, they long to be

    Close to you

    On the day that you were born the angels got together

    And decided to create a dream come true

    So they sprinkled moon dust in your hair of gold and starlight in your eyes of blue

    That is why all the boys in town

    Follow you all around

    Just like me, they long to be

    Close to you

    Just like me, they long to be

    Close to you

    Wa, close to you

    Wa, close to you

    Ha, close to you

    La, close to you


    I Want You (Savage Garden) – Billy’s Kaleidoscope Of Crushes

    Anytime I need to see your face,

    I just close my eyes

    And I am taken to a place where

    your crystal mind and

    Magenta feelings take up shelter

    in the base of my spine

    Sweet like a chic-a-cherry cola

    I don't need to try and explain;

    I just hold on tight

    And if it happens again, I might move

    so slightly

    To the arms and the lips and the face

    of the human cannonball

    That I need to, I want to

    Come stand a little bit closer

    Breath in and get a bit higher

    You'll never know what hit you

    When I get to you

    chorus:

    Ooh, I want you

    I don't know if I need you

    But, ooh, I'd die to find out

    Ooh, I want you

    I don't know if I need you

    But, ooh, I'd die to find out

    I'm the kind of person who endorses

    a deep commitment

    Getting comfy getting perfect

    is what I live for

    But a look, then a smell of perfume

    It's like I'm down on the floor

    And I don't know what I'm in for

    Conversation has a time and place

    In the interaction of a lover and

    a mate,

    But the time of talking,

    using symbols, using words

    Can be likened to a deep sea diver

    who is swimming with a raincoat

    Come stand a little bit closer

    Breathe in and get a bit higher

    You'll never know what hit you

    When I get to you

    chorus

    Anytime I need to see your face,

    I just close my eyes

    And I am taken to a place where

    your crystal mind and

    Magenta feelings take up shelter

    in the base of my spine

    Sweet like a chic-a-cherry cola

    I don't need to try and explain;

    I just hold on tight

    And if it happens again, I might move

    so slightly

    To the arms and the lips and the face

    of the human cannonball

    That I need to, I want to

    chorus

    So can we find out?


    Feel The Silence (Goo Goo Dolls) – Billy Just Can’t Get Some

    You lie awake at night

    With blue eyes that never cry

    All you remember now

    Is what you feel

    The truth remains

    In midnight conversations

    I asked for this moment

    But you turned away

    Sad like a lonely child

    Broken the day you're born

    I held the light to you

    But I was so vain

    And you remain

    A promise unfulfilled

    I ask you for more

    But you push me away

    And if we feel the silence

    Holding this all inside

    Everything means more now than

    Words could explain

    And if we feel the silence

    Holding this all inside us

    Looking for something more to say

    I don't know where I'm going

    Only know where I been

    But you move through my soul like a hurricane wind

    We've been so lost for so long

    I don't know how to get back again

    And we're drowning in the water

    That flows under this bridge

    When you're fighting the current

    You forget how to live

    And I wanted to reach you but I don't know where to begin

    And you remain

    A promise unfulfilled until today

    And if we feel the silence

    Holding this all inside

    Everything means more now than

    Words could explain

    And if we feel the silence

    Leaving this all behind us

    When it's gone what will you say

    How do we hold on

    How do we hold on

    How do we hold on

    How do we hold on

    How do we hold on

    You lie awake at night

    With blue eyes that never cry


    I Don’t Want Your Love (Duran Duran) – Joanna x Billy (Not)

    I don't mind if you're keeping someone else behind

    I don't care 'cause you've got something I can share

    Hey, take a chance, even if it's only

    Only while we're dancing in the

    Light of your second sight because

    When you understand me

    You might feel good around me now.

    CHORUS

    I don't want your love to bring me down

    I don't want your love so turn it around

    I won't turn you out if you've got someone else

    Someone else you care about

    Because you must realise

    My obsessive fascination is in your imagination

    CHORUS

    Your rhythym is the power to move me

    It's something you control completely

    I don't want your love

    I don't want your love

    I like noise 'cause I like waking up the house

    I cannot sit down. I can't shut my mouth

    But when you understand me,

    You might feel good around me

    CHORUS

    Your rhythym is the power to move me

    It's something you control completely

    I don't want your love

    I don't want your love


    First Time He Kissed A Boy (Kadie Elder) – Billy: No Longer Sweet 14

    Troubled face

    Headphones on

    Forgetting time and place

    All he wanted

    Feeling stuck

    Set him free

    Running out of luck

    On his knees

    First time he kissed a boy

    He had never, never known

    Cover up is what they told

    Feel so cold

    First time he kissed a boy

    He had never, never loved

    Walks on a curvy road

    Feel so cold

    Keeping back

    The ghost inside

    Locked him in a pack

    All his life

    All his life

    First time he kissed a boy

    He had never, never known

    Cover up is what they told

    Feel so cold

    First time he kissed a boy

    He had never, never loved

    Walks on a curvy road

    Feel so cold

    Get lost, get lost, get lost

    Get lost, get lost, get lost


    Suck me Off (Pussy Boy) - Virginity is Overrated

    Ahhh-hhh (X)

    I was thinking

    About me and you

    Alone together

    In my room

    It's the feeling

    Can't shake the thought

    I might let you . . .

    Suck Me Off (X)

    Suck Suck Suck (X)

    Unghhhh!

    Yeah!

    Uh-huh! Oooo!

    Ahhh-hhh (X)

    Yeah

    I will hold you

    Don't be scared

    I'll paint my face

    I'll wear my hair

    I'll make it easy

    Do what I do

    And when i'm ready . . .

    I'll Cum On You (X)

    Cum Cum Cum (X)

    Unghhhh!

    Ungghhhhh!

    Ungggghhhhh!!

    Ahhh-hhh Ooooh (X)

    Yyyeah!!


    Filthy/Gorgeous (Scissor Sisters) - AJ The Whore

    Oh you're so filthy

    And I'm gorgeous

    When you're walkin' down the street

    And a man tries to get your business

    And the people that you meet

    Want to open you up like Christmas

    You gotta wrap your fuzzy with a big red bow

    Ain't no sum bitch gonna treat me like a ho

    I'm a classy honey kissy huggy lovey dovey ghetto princess

    'Cause you're filthy (filthy)

    Oooh, and I'm gorgeous (gorgeous)

    'Cause you're filthy (filthy)

    Oooh, and I'm gorgeous (gorgeous)

    You're disgusting

    Oooh, and you're nasty

    And you can grab me

    Oooh 'cause you're nasty

    So Nasty

    Oh my,

    Oh my God

    Oh my God

    When you're runnin' from a trick

    And you trip on a hit of acid

    You gotta work for the man

    But your biggest moneymakers' flaccid

    You gotta keep your shit together

    With your feet on the ground

    There ain't no one gonna listen

    If you haven't made a sound

    You're an acid junkie college flunky dirty puppy dirty bastard

    'Cause you're filthy (filthy)

    Oooh, and I'm gorgeous (gorgeous)

    'Cause you're filthy (filthy)

    Oooh, and I'm gorgeous (gorgeous)

    You're disgusting

    Oooh, and you're nasty

    And you can grab me

    Oooh 'cause you're nasty

    'Cause you're filthy (so filthy)

    Oooh, and I'm gorgeous (so gorgeous)

    'Cause you're filthy (filthy)

    Oooh, and I'm gorgeous (gorgeous, glorious)

    You're disgusting (oh yeah right there)

    And you're nasty (you make me feel so nasty)

    You can grab me (drop it)

    Oooh 'cause you're nasty

    Every day and every night the people they say to me

    Miss Honour thank you for the beautiful work that you be doing for our people

    Because everytime when you get out of your Corvette Stingray in your white pumps

    And your pink ice washed jeans with the matching pink rap fur coat

    We say "This thing, you got it going on, you is gorgeous"

    And I say "I am so proud to serve you people because I know that with my looks I can achieve Anything in this world"

    Yes I got that Revlon contract

    Oh yes thank you I'll take that record contract too

    Because you know what? I'm gorgeous

    And my job with my gorgeousness is to serve the people

    Serve, and serve some more

    Yes, thank you ladies and gentlemen for letting me do my beautiful workAnd beautifing this beautiful world that is already, already so pretty.

    In your city ladies are blessed with the best dressed chest

    Don't mess the crest on the best breast

    Your the best, not a silicon mess

    Sally wants a street, got meet with the freak for this we-e-ek

    Sip the beat, till the next week

    Le freak

    Between the silk she-e-e-e-e-ts.

    Filthy

    Gorgeous

    Filthy

    Gorgeous

    Glorious

    'Cause you're filthy

    Oooh, and I'm gorgeous (gorgeous)

    'Cause you're filthy

    Oooh, and I'm gorgeous

    You're disgusting

    Oooh, and you're nasty

    And you can grab me

    Oooh 'cause you're nasty


    Taken In (Mike & The Mechanics) - This Isn't What Love Is

    Taken in, taken in again

    Wrapped around the finger of some fair-weather friend

    Caught up in the promises, left out in the end

    No pride, taken for a ride

    You say I'm the only one when I look in your eyes

    I want to believe you but you know how to lie

    And if you say you understand I don't believe it

    And when you reach out for my hand I don't believe it

    And if you say you take the blame I don't believe it

    And if say that nothing's changed I don't believe it, don't believe it

    Taken in, taken in again

    Someone saw me coming, a fool without a friend

    There's one born every minute and you're looking at him

    And if you say you want me near I don't believe it

    And when you're holding back the tears I don't believe it

    And when you swear that you are mine I don't believe it

    And it's your heart that's on the line I don't believe it, don't believe it

    Taken in, taken in again

    Wrapped around the finger of some fair-weather friend

    Caught up in the promises, left out in the end

    No pride, taken for a ride

    You say I'm the only one when I look in your eyes

    I'd love to believe you but you know how to lie

    You say you want me near I don't believe it

    And when you're holding back the tears I don't believe it

    Oh, there's one born every minute, you're looking at him

    Taken in, taken in again

    Someone saw me coming, a fool without a friend

    I want to believe you, oh

    When you say you understand

    When you reach out for my hand

    Oh, I wish I could believe you

    Taken in, taken in again


    Pale Shelter (Tears For Fears) - AJ’s Def Not The One

    How can I be sure?

    When your intrusion is my illusion

    How can I be sure

    When all the time you changed my mind

    I asked for more and more

    How can I be sure

    When you don't give me love (You gave me pale shelter)

    You don't give me love (you give me cold hands)

    And I can't operate on this failure

    When all I want to be is

    Completely in command

    How can I be sure

    For all you say you keep me waiting

    How can I be sure

    When all you do is see me through

    I asked for more and more

    How can I be sure

    When you don't give me love (You gave me pale shelter)

    You don't give me love (you give me cold hands)

    And I can't operate on this failure

    When all I want to be is

    Completely in command

    I've been here before

    There is no why, no need to try

    I thought you had it all

    I'm calling you, I'm calling you

    I ask for more and more

    How can I be sure

    When you don't give me love (You gave me pale shelter)

    You don't give me love (you give me cold hands)

    And I can't operate on this failure

    When all I want to be is

    Completely in command

    You don't give me loveYou don't give me love

    You don't give me loveYou don't give me love

    You don't give me loveYou don't give me love


    The More you Live, The More You Love (A Flock Of Seagulls) - Lessons Learned

    You never give your heart to a stranger

    Or tell your secrets to a friend

    You'll put your heart in mortal danger

    They all desert you in the end

    The more you live the more you love

    Or so they say

    The more you love the more you go away

    They say that nothing lasts forever

    And even true love turns to pain

    Don't trust your feelings to a stranger

    Don't want to go through this again

    The more you live the more you love

    Or so they say

    The more you love the more you go away

    The more you live the more you love

    Or so they say

    The more you love the more you go away

    Don't ever give your heart to a stranger

    Don't ever think that you can go on

    You'll put your heart in mortal danger

    Turn around and love is gone

    The more you live the more you love

    Or so they say

    The more you love the more you go away

    The more you live the more you love

    Or so they say

    The more you love the more you go away

    The more you live the more you love

    Or so they say

    The more you love the more you go away


    Bubble Butt (Major Lazer and Friends) -B-B-B-Bobby Jennette

    Bubble Butt

    Bubble butt, bubble, bubble, bubble butt

    Bubble butt, bubble, bubble, bubble butt

    Bubble butt, bubble, bubble, bubble butt

    Turn around, stick it out

    Show the world you got a

    Bubble butt, bubble, bubble, bubble butt

    Bubble butt, bubble, bubble, bubble butt

    Bubble butt, bubble, bubble, bubble butt

    Turn around, stick it out

    Show the world you got it

    Wine, go down, turn and flick it

    A boy like me know how fi handle oi wicked

    One bat, two balls, swing it like cricket

    Pull me locks, slap my ass, make me show you how me wicked

    Baby baby mek me tell you 'bout the body yah

    Make you vibrate like a Nokia

    When me whine and bruk off that body yah

    Uh huh, even kartel a happy yah

    Bubble butt, bubble, bubble, bubble butt

    Bubble butt, bubble, bubble, bubble butt

    Bubble butt, bubble, bubble, bubble butt

    Turn around, stick it out

    Show the world you got a

    Bubble butt, bubble, bubble, bubble butt

    Bubble butt, bubble, bubble, bubble butt

    Bubble butt, bubble, bubble, bubble butt

    Turn around, stick it out

    Show the world you got a

    I had a cute thing, buenas noches

    By the end of the night my knees are now on your chest

    Fuck me bad, let me in, a cardic arrest

    Make me come

    Make me come

    Come, we know you are the best

    Who's bad?

    Let me wind upon your cock

    Tick-tock-tick, riding the clock

    Beat it, beat it, beat it bad, let me show you what I've got

    I ain't Snoop Dogg, but I'mma drop it like it's hot

    Bubble butt, bubble, bubble, bubble butt

    Bubble butt, bubble, bubble, bubble butt

    Bubble butt, bubble, bubble, bubble butt

    Turn around, stick it out

    Show the world you got a

    Bubble butt, bubble, bubble, bubble butt

    Bubble butt, bubble, bubble, bubble butt

    Bubble butt, bubble, bubble, bubble butt

    Turn around, stick it out

    Show the world you got a

    OK, open up your Bubba Gump, let me see your bumper

    The booty so smooth, can't believe is not butter

    I go in from under, he hotter than a surfer

    I ate the booty fast, I'm about to start burpin'

    I burp, burp and re-lick the bottom of the surface

    I load in my clip in and told him, 'Don't get nervous'

    I'm a Bang Bang Chiddy, bang, Bang, bang killer

    Nipple tit dick licker

    Ball like a dribble

    Put you in a pickle, nibble on my dickle

    Why you're tripping? I'm a crazy individual

    Never do minimum, drive Benz, Bentley too

    Damn, bitch, talk much, I don't want interviews

    I'm trying to get into you, into you

    Then make you my enemy

    Not playing, got the bitch mad

    Me don't like flat screen, ass I need a 3D

    Bubble butt, bubble, bubble, bubble butt

    Bubble butt, bubble, bubble, bubble butt

    Bubble butt, bubble, bubble, bubble butt

    Turn around, stick it out

    Show the world you got a

    Bubble butt, bubble, bubble, bubble butt

    Bubble butt, bubble, bubble, bubble butt

    Bubble butt, bubble, bubble, bubble butt

    Turn around, stick it out

    Show the world you got a

    Turn around, stick it out Show the world you got a Bubble butt, bubble, bubble, bubble butt


    Love/Paranoia (Tame Impala) - True Lust vs. True Love

    I may not be as honest as I ought to be now

    When the walls go up, I said it didn't worry me

    But it hit me and I cannot hold it in

    I can just be paranoid, don't quell the desire to love

    What was really going on, does it really fucking matter?

    Baby is all you can ask me, ok, fair play here we go

    I've heard those words before

    Are you sure it was nothing

    Cause it made me feel like dying inside

    And I was insecure, but it's pure

    Didn't notice until I was in love for real

    And my feels gonna cross the line

    Just to find what your type is

    If only I could reach your mind

    Oh I'd be fine, I'd be normal

    Now's my time, gonna do it

    And suddenly I'm the phony one

    The only one with a problem

    True love it bringing it out of me

    The worst of me, and I know now

    Do you remember the time we were

    The time we were by the ocean

    I didn't care if it was day or night

    We were right where I wanted

    Boy I'm sorry, babe, I'm really really sorry

    I may not be as honest as I ought to be now that

    When the walls go up, I said it didn't worry me But...


    Secret Smile (Semisonic) – Brandon Smiling

    Nobody knows it but you've got a secret smile

    And you use it only for me

    Nobody knows it but you've got a secret smile

    And you use it only for me

    So use it and prove it

    Remove this whirling sadness

    I'm losing I'm bluesing

    But you can't save me from madness

    Nobody knows it but you've got a secret smile

    And you use it only for me

    Nobody knows it but you've got a secret smile

    And you use it only for me

    So save me I'm waiting

    I'm needing, hear me pleading

    And soothe me, improve me

    I'm grieving, I'm barely believing it now, now

    When you are flying around and around the world

    And I'm lying a lonely

    I know there's something sacred and free reserved

    And received by me only


    Love (John Lennon) – So This Is Love!

    Love is real, real is love

    Love is feeling, feeling love

    Love is wanting to be loved

    Love is touch, touch is love

    Love is reaching, reaching love

    Love is asking to be loved

    Love is you

    You and me

    Love is knowing

    We can be

    Love is free, free is love

    Love is living, living love

    Love is needing to be loved


    Kiss me (Sixpence None The Richer) – True Love’s First Kiss

    Kiss me out of the bearded barley

    Nightly, beside the green, green grass

    Swing, swing, swing the spinning step

    I'll wear those shoes and you will wear that dress.

    Oh, kiss me beneath the milky twilight

    Lead me out on the moonlit floor

    Lift your open hand

    Strike up the band and make the fireflies dance

    Silver moon's sparkling

    So kiss me

    Kiss me down by the broken tree house

    Swing me upon its hanging tire

    Bring, bring, bring your flowered hat

    We'll take the trail marked on your father's map

    Oh, kiss me beneath the milky twilight

    Lead me out on the moonlit floor

    Lift your open hand

    Strike up the band and make the fireflies dance

    Silver moon's sparkling

    So kiss me

    Kiss me beneath the milky twilight

    Lead me out on the moonlit floor

    Lift your open hand

    Strike up the band and make the fireflies dance

    Silver moon's sparkling

    So kiss me

    So kiss me

    So kiss me

    So kiss me

    Kiss me out of the bearded barley.

    Nightly, beside the green, green grass.

    Swing, swing, swing the spinning step.


    Cinnamon (Cullen Omori) – Tasting Brandon

    Head in my lap, cheeks starting to blush

    Got a boy warm to the touch

    Five to twelve lost in a song

    Keep your guard low and down

    So let the tears fall down your chin

    Taste like sin, cinnamon

    So let the tears fall down your chin

    Taste like sin, cinnamon

    You know

    All we are, my love, is unremarkable

    All we are, my love, is unremarkable

    All we are, my love, is unremarkable

    All we are, my love, is unremarkable

    Catch your breath, keep it under control

    Take your time, take it slow

    A lost cause, a lost soul

    More and more, I'm losing my form

    So let the sun kiss your skin

    Taste like sin, cinnamon

    So let the sun kiss your skin

    Taste like sin, cinnamon

    You know

    All we are, my love, is unremarkable

    All we are, my love, is unremarkable

    All we are, my love, is unremarkable

    All we are, my love, is unremarkable

    I can hear you through the stall, don't you go and take it all

    I can hear you through the stall, don't you go and take it all


    Sexual Healing – Remix (Marvin Gay) – Brandon the Addiction

    Oh, baby now let's get down tonight

    Ooh baby, I'm hot just like an oven

    I need some lovin'

    And baby, I can't hold it much longer

    It's getting stronger and stronger

    And when I get that feeling

    I want sexual healing

    Sexual healing, oh baby

    Makes me feel so fine

    Helps to relieve my mind

    Sexual healing baby, is good for me

    Sexual healing is something that's good for me

    Whenever blue teardrops are fallin'

    And my emotional stability is leaving me

    There is something I can do

    I can get on the telephone and call you up baby

    And honey I know you'll be there to relieve me

    The love you give to me will free me

    If you don't know the thing you're dealing

    Ohh I can tell you, darling, that it's sexual healing

    Get up, get up, get up, get up

    Let's make love tonight

    Wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up

    'Cause you do it right

    Baby, I got sick this mornin'

    A sea was stormin' inside of me

    Baby, I think I'm capsizin'

    The waves are risin' and risin'

    And when I get that feeling

    I want sexual healing

    Sexual healing is good for me

    Makes me feel so fine, it's such a rush

    Helps to relieve the mind, and it's good for us

    Sexual healing, baby, it's good for me

    Sexual healing is something that's good for me

    Well, it's good for me and it's so good to me my baby, ohh

    Come take control, just grab a hold

    Of my body and mind, soon we'll be making it, honey

    I'll be feeling fine

    You're my medicine, open up and let me in

    Darling, you're so great, I can't wait for you to operate

    I can't wait for you to operate, baby

    When I get this feeling

    I need sexual healing

    When I get this feeling

    I need sexual healing

    I gotta have sexual healing, darling

    'Cause I'm all alone

    And I need sexual healing, darling

    Till you come back home

    Please don't procrastinate

    It's not good to masturbate

    Ooh baby, I'm hot just like an oven I need some lovin'

    And baby, I can't hold it much longer

    It's getting stronger


    Careless Whisper (George Michael) - Mistakes and Consequences

    I feel so unsure

    As I take your hand and lead you to the dance floor

    As the music dies, something in your eyes

    Calls to mind the silver screen

    And all its sad good-byes

    I'm never gonna dance again

    Guilty feet have got no rhythm

    Though it's easy to pretend

    I know you're not a fool

    Should've known better than to cheat a friend

    And waste the chance that I've been given

    So I'm never gonna dance again

    The way I danced with you

    Time can never mend

    The careless whispers of a good friend

    To the heart and mind

    Ignorance is kind

    There's no comfort in the truth

    Pain is all you'll find

    I'm never gonna dance again

    Guilty feet have got no rhythm

    Though it's easy to pretend

    I know you're not a fool

    I should've known better than to cheat a friend

    And waste the chance that I've been given

    So I'm never gonna dance again

    The way I danced with you

    Never without your love

    Tonight the music seems so loud

    I wish that we could lose this crowd

    Maybe it's better this way

    We'd hurt each other with the things we'd want to say

    We could have been so good together

    We could have lived this dance forever

    But no one's gonna dance with me

    Please stay

    And I'm never gonna dance again

    Guilty feet have got no rhythm

    Though it's easy to pretend

    I know you're not a fool

    Should've known better than to cheat a friend

    And waste the chance that I've been given

    So I'm never gonna dance again

    The way I danced with you

    (Now that you're gone) Now that you're gone

    (Now that you're gone) What I did's so wrong, so wrong

    That you had to leave me alone


    Mad World (Tears For Fears) - A World Without Brandon

    All around me are familiar faces

    Worn out places, worn out faces

    Bright and early for their daily races

    Going nowhere, going nowhere

    And their tears are filling up their glasses

    No expression, no expression

    Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow

    No tomorrow, no tomorrow

    And I find it kind of funny

    I find it kind of sad

    The dreams in which I'm dying

    Are the best I've ever had

    I find it hard to tell you

    Cause I find it hard to take

    When people run in circles

    It's a very, very

    Mad World (X)

    Children waiting for the day they feel good

    Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday

    Made to feel the way that every child should

    Sit and listen, sit and listen

    Went to school and I was very nervous

    No one knew me, no one knew me

    Hello teacher tell me what's my lesson

    Look right through me, look right through me

    And I find it kind of funny

    I find it kind of sad

    The dreams in which I'm dying

    Are the best I've ever had

    I find it hard to tell you

    Cause I find it hard to take

    When people run in circles

    It's a very, very

    Mad World (X)


    Hurting Each Other (The Carpenters) -Unanswered Prayers

    No one in the world

    Ever had a love as sweet as my love

    For nowhere in the wolrd

    Could there be a boy as true as you love

    All my love

    I give gladly to you

    All your love

    You give gladly to me

    Tell me why then

    Oh why should it be that

    We go on hurting each other

    We go on hurting each other

    Making each other cry

    Hurting each other

    Without ever knowing why

    Closer than the leaves

    On a weepin' willow baby we are

    Closer dear are we

    Than the simple letters "A" and "B" are

    All my life

    I could love only you

    All your life

    You could love only me

    Tell me why than

    Oh why should it be that

    We go on hurting each other

    We go on hurting each other

    Making each other cry

    Hurting each other

    Without ever knowing why

    Can't we stop hurting each other

    Gotta stop hurting each other

    Making each other cry

    Breaking each other's heart

    Tearing each other apart


    I’m Already Gone (A Day To Remember) - Broken and Gone

    As I look round this make shift moving house

    I'm searching for whatever's left of me

    It's on the ground in a box that reads lost and found.

    It's lost and found.

    He said, just let it go.

    He said, it's all you've ever known.

    And I'm, I'm already gone

    I'm already something to someone that I don't know.

    When will I know?

    And I'm, I'm out making rounds

    On every side of town

    That I've been through, that I know.

    To find my reason to come back home.

    I've worked it out you'll always bring me down.

    From here on out I'm doing things for me.

    I'm impatient now. I'm not the type for life alone,

    I need someone.

    He said, just let it go.

    He said, it's all you've ever know.

    And I'm, I'm already gone

    I'm already something to someone that I don't know.

    When will I know?

    And I'm, I'm out making rounds

    On every side of town

    That I've been through, that I know.

    To find my reason to come back home.

    With everything that sets me back,

    I push back harder to clear the way.

    There's not a thing that I regret,

    Can't live my life in yesterday.

    x2

    Life in yesterday.

    And I'm, I'm already gone

    I'm already something to someone that I don't know.

    When will I know?

    And I'm, I'm out making rounds

    On every side of town

    That I've been through, that I know.

    To find my reason to come back home.


    Lonely In Your Nightmare (Duran Duran) – There’s Always Someone Else In Need of Love

    Even on the darkest night when empty promise means empty hand

    And soldiers coming home like shadows turning red

    And when the lights of hope are fading quickly then look to me

    I'll be your homing angel I'll be in your head

    Because you're lonely in your nightmare let me in

    And there's heat beneath your winter let me in

    I see the delta traces living lonely out on the limb

    And a passing glimmer warm beneath your skin

    Please tread gently on the ground when all around you earth turns to fire

    Only get a second chance when danger's on the wind

    Because you're lonely in your nightmare let me in

    Because there's heat beneath your winter let me in

    Must be lucky whether when you find the kind of wind that you need

    Come on show me all the light and shade that made your name

    I know you've got it in your head I've seen that look before

    You've built your refuge turns you captive all the same

    Because your lonely in your nightmare let me in

    And it's barren in your garden let me in

    Because there's heat beneath your winter let me in

    Because you're so lonely in your nightmare let me in

    And it's cold out on the stone range let me in

    Because there's heat beneath your winter let me in


    Be My Icon (Duran Duran) – Jimmy LaPlane’s Obsession

    I'll follow you, I'll wait for you

    You know there's no escape from me

    You're more than wallpaper in my room

    I write you letters and bring you gifts

    I'm going through all your trash

    I love you so much

    I keep your cigarette butts

    Now is the time to come out

    Come out of the shadows

    No need to be scared

    You're gonna be so happy

    I built you a shrine

    Now you can be my icon

    I'm out on the edge

    There's no way back inside

    All my friends are gone

    They didn't understand me

    It makes so much sense

    It's no coincidence

    Just you and I alone here

    And I need you, oh

    How many hours have I stared

    At my face in the mirror

    I get worried sometimes

    That the image will shatter

    No need to be scared

    You're gonna be so happy

    I built you a shrine

    Now you can be my icon

    No need to be scared

    I built you a shrine

    Now you can be my icon

    I know this is real, believe it

    We belong together

    What ever happens

    You're gonna be with me forever

    Be my icon

    You will be my icon

    Be my icon

    You will be my icon

    Be my icon


    Hurts Too Much - Remix (Cinnamon Chasers) - Letters From Jimmy

    Today is real

    But I feel the world is over

    There between us

    The game is over

    And I can't believe the wait is finally over

    Is over

    It hurts too much

    To be apart

    That love

    To go

    I gotta get myself together

    Gotta give it up forever

    Today is real

    And I feel the world is over

    There between us

    It hurts too much

    To be apart

    It hurts too much

    To be apart

    It hurts too much

    To be apart

    It hurts too much

    To be apart


    Leave me Alone (FIDLAR) – This Is Billy Having Enough

    I’m a stupid

    So stupid

    And a hopeless

    Romantic

    I guess I’m damaged

    But I’ll manage

    In my room all by myself

    Being dramatic

    Alright I'm lazy

    And fucking crazy

    And you think I'm putting on some kind of act

    But this is me really being me

    And you know what's sick

    I kinda like it

    That nobody I know really lives like this

    But I love it

    And I’ll say anything you want

    Because I’m leaving in the morning

    And maybe I should try falling in love

    But that just seems so boring

    Too late to die young

    And too young to burn out

    (I'm so burnt out)

    Or I can fade away

    I just say that I’m happy now leave me alone

    Leave me alone!

    I’m stupid, so stupid

    And nothing in the world's gonna change my mind

    So you can suck it!

    And I’m perfect, and I’m so worth it

    I’m pretty, oh so pretty, look at me

    You know you want it!

    And I’ll say anything you want

    Because I’m leaving in the morning

    And maybe I should try to falling in love

    But that just seems so boring

    Too late to die young

    And too young to burn out

    (I'm so burnt out)

    Or I can fade away

    I just say that I’m happy now leave me alone!


    Teenage Blue (Dream Girl) – Dying By Degrees

    Oh, you and I

    Held our hands, told the time

    Oh, you and I

    Is it the way you and I wait?

    My only, my only you

    Oh, you and I

    Is it the way you and I stay?

    Oh, you and I

    In my mind, you were mine, baby

    My only, my only you

    All that I'd ever see all that I'd ever believe is through

    All that I'd ever see all that I'd ever believe is blue

    Oh, you and I

    Held our hands, told the time, baby

    Oh, you and I

    It's all the same now, You were mine

    My only, my only you


    After All This Time (Itchyworms) – Melting Ice?

    Walking away,

    From what I thought would never end

    Looking okay,

    But deep inside I'm lost in time

    It's never over,

    What I feel for you

    All done (Won't die),

    We're all getting older,

    But my hearts keeps asking why

    Refrain:

    Coz' I've thrown away my lucky stars,

    And my wishes don't come true

    I've been looking up to heaven,

    While I'm crying over you

    Chorus:

    Coz' I can't forget the good times,

    We've had when you were mine

    I just wonder if you need me still,

    After all this time

    I just wonder if you need me still,

    After all this time

    You turned away

    I called you back but it's no use

    What can I say?

    Now, I know I got nothing to lose

    Sometimes I still miss you,

    I just wanted you to know

    I can't be without you,

    'Cause my heart never stop,

    I just had to give up

    Refrain:

    So I've thrown away my lucky stars,

    And my wishes don't come true

    I've been looking up to heaven,

    While I'm crying over you

    Chorus:

    Coz' I can't forget the good times,

    We've had when you were mine

    I just wonder if you need me still,

    After all this time

    I just wonder if you need me still,

    After all this time

    Bridge:

    I wanna know if you stopped trying,

    You're part of all that I've been through

    Where all these years of hoping for you,

    Just a waste of time

    'Coz whatever I do,

    It's no good without you.

    Refrain:

    Coz' I've thrown away my lucky stars,

    And my wishes don't come true

    I've been looking up to heaven,

    While I'm crying over you

    Chorus:

    Coz' I can't forget the good times,

    We've had when you were mine

    I just wonder if you need me still,

    After all this time

    Wonder if you need me still,

    After all this time.

    After all this time

    After all this time

    After all this time


    Trust (The Cure) - The Hill, Billy’s Plea

    There's no-one left in the world

    That i can hold onto

    There is really no-one left at all

    There is only you

    And if you leave me now

    You leave all that we were

    Undone

    There is really no-one left

    You are the only one

    And still the hardest part for you

    Is to put your trust in me

    I love you more than i can say

    Why won't you just believe? (x2)


    Tell Me Why (Nine Pound Shadow) – The Hill, Brandon Questioning

    Tired of always waiting

    I'm tired of going home

    The moment is getting late and

    I think we should go

    There's something inside you

    That's taking its toll

    There's something inside you

    I think you know

    So tell me why you left me here alone

    You know I'm sick of all the stories, and now its time to go

    And you think I understand you but I don't

    And you don't know what this is like

    Shadows on the outside

    I'm taking a fall

    And you say you're going to save me but honey you don't know

    I'm way beyond your grasp now

    I'm beyond your control

    And if I left an empty space here well its nothing you can't sow

    So tell me why I just can't let you go

    You know ive been around the world and not seen one like you before

    And after all this hurt I still love you so

    And you don't know what this is like

    There must have been something that you could say

    There must have been something that you could say

    Everyone who tried to love you

    You pushed them all away

    There must have been something that you could say


    To Be Forgiven (George Michael) – Apologies and Acceptance

    I'm going down

    Won't you help me

    Save me from myself

    I hear the sound of the memory

    Maybe time will tell

    Suddenly my life is like a river

    Taking me places I don't want to go

    But like all good men who swim too well

    It takes all that I have just to cry for help

    Then that voice in my head tells me no

    I'm going down

    Won't you help me

    Save me from myself

    I hear the sound of the memory

    Maybe, who can tell

    Let me live my life beside the river

    Take me to places where a child can grow

    And then maybe the boy inside will forsake me

    Maybe the child in me will just let me go

    I'm going down

    The cold, cold water is rushing in

    I'm going down

    And I would beg to be forgiven

    If I knew my sin


    Come To Me (Goo Goo Dolls) – Billy and Brandon Together Again!

    I'll be kind, if you'll be faithful

    You be sweet and I'll be grateful

    Cover me with kisses dear

    Lighten up the atmosphere

    Keep me warm inside our bed

    I got dreams of you all through my head

    Fortune teller said I'd be free

    And that's the day you came to me

    Came to me

    Come to me my sweetest friend

    Can you feel my heart again

    I'll take you back where you belong

    And this will be our favorite song

    Come to me with secrets bare

    I'll love you more so don't be scared

    And when we're old and near the end

    We'll go home and start again

    I caught you burnin' photographs

    Like that could save you from your past

    History is like gravity

    It holds you down away from me

    You and me, we've both got sins

    And I don't care about where you've been

    Don't be sad and don't explain

    This is where we start again

    Start again

    Come to me my sweetest friend

    Can you feel my heart again

    I'll take you back where you belong

    And this will be our favorite song

    Come to me with secrets bare

    I'll love you more so don't be scared

    And when we're old and near the end

    We'll go home and start again

    Start again

    Today's the day I'll make you mine

    So get me to the church on time

    Take my hand in this empty room

    You're my love, and I'm your man

    Come to me my sweetest friend

    This is where we start again,

    Again

    Come to me my sweetest friend

    Can you feel my heart again

    I'll take you back where you belong

    And this will be our favorite song

    Come to me with secrets bare

    I'll love you more so don't be scared

    When we're old and near the end

    We'll go home and start again

    Start again


    Don’t Dream Its Over (Sixpence None The Richer Cover of Crowded House) - Promises Made

    There is freedom within, there is freedom without

    Try to catch the deluge in a paper cup

    There's a battle ahead, many battles are lost

    But you'll never see the end of the road

    While you're traveling with me

    Hey now, hey now

    Don't dream it's over

    Hey now, hey now

    When the world comes in

    They come, they come

    To build a wall between us

    We know they won't win

    Now I'm towing my car, there's a hole in the roof

    My possessions are causing me suspicion but there's no proof

    In the paper today tales of war and of waste

    But you turn right over to the T.V. page

    Hey now, hey now

    Don't dream it's over

    Hey now, hey now

    When the world comes in

    They come, they come

    To build a wall between us

    We know they won't win

    Now I'm walking again to the beat of a drum

    And I'm counting the steps to the door of your heart

    Only shadows ahead barely clearing the roof

    Get to know the feeling of liberation and release

    Hey now, hey now

    Don't dream it's over

    Hey now, hey now

    When the world comes in

    They come, they come

    To build a wall between us

    We know they won't win

    Don't let them win (hey now, hey now, hey now, hey now)

    Hey now, hey now

    Don't let them win (they come, they come)

    Don't let them win (hey now, hey now, hey now, hey now)


    The Reason (Hoobastank) – Billy’s Truth

    I'm not a perfect person

    There's many thing I wish I didn't do

    But I continue learning

    I never meant to do those things to you

    And so I have to say before I go

    That I just want you to know

    I've found a reason for me

    To change who I used to be

    A reason to start over new

    And the reason is you

    I'm sorry that I hurt you

    It's something I must live with everyday

    And all the pain I put you through

    I wish I could take it all away

    And be the one who catches all your tears

    That's why I need you to hear

    I've found a reason for me

    To change who I used to be

    A reason to start over new

    And the reason is you

    And the reason is you

    And the reason is you

    And the reason is you

    I'm not a perfect person

    I never meant to do those things to you

    And so I have to say before I go

    That I just want you to know

    I've found a reason for me

    To change who I used to be

    A reason to start over new

    And the reason is you

    I've found a reason to show

    A side of me you didn't know

    A reason for all that I do

    And the reason is you


    Fifteen (Taylor Swift) – Billy and Teenagering

    You take a deep breath and you walk through the doors

    It's the morning of your very first day

    You say "Hi" to your friends you ain't seen in a while

    Try and stay out of everybody's way

    It's your freshman year and you're gonna be here

    For the next four years in this town

    Hoping one of those senior boys will wink at you and say,

    "You know I haven't seen you around before."

    'Cause when you're fifteen and somebody tells you they love you

    You're gonna believe them

    And when you're fifteen

    Feeling like there's nothing to figure out

    Well count to ten, take it in

    This is life before you know who you're gonna be

    Fifteen

    You sit in class next to a redhead named Abigail

    And soon enough you're best friends

    Laughing at the other girls who think they're so cool

    We'll be out of here as soon as we can

    And then you're on your very first date and he's got a car

    And you're feeling like flying

    And you're momma's waiting up and you think he's the one

    And you're dancing 'round your room when the night ends

    When the night ends

    'Cause when you're fifteen and somebody tells you they love you

    You're gonna believe them

    When you're fifteen and your first kiss

    Makes your head spin round but

    In your life you'll do things greater than dating the boy of the football team

    But I didn't know it at fifteen

    When all you wanted was to be wanted

    Wish you could go back and tell yourself what you know now

    Back then I swore I was gonna marry him someday

    But I realized some bigger dreams of mine

    And Abigail gave everything she had to a boy

    Who changed his mind and we both cried

    'Cause when you're fifteen and somebody tells you they love you

    You're gonna believe them

    And when you're fifteen, don't forget to look before you fall

    I've found that time can heal most anything

    And you just might find who you're supposed to be

    I didn't know who I was supposed to be at fifteen

    La la la la la la la

    La la la la la la la

    La la la la la la la

    Your very first day

    Take a deep breath, girl

    Take a deep breath as you walk through the doors.


    Teenage Dream (Glee Cover of Katy Perry) – Music Shops and Special Visitors

    You think I'm pretty without any make-up on

    You think I'm funny when I tell the punch line wrong

    I know you get me, so I'll let my walls come down, down

    Before you meet me I was alright

    But things were kinda heavy, you brought me to life

    Now every February you'll be my valentine, valentine

    Let's go all the way tonight

    No regrets, just love

    We can dance until we die

    You and I we'll be young forever

    You make me feel like I'm living a

    Teenage Dream, the way you turn me on

    I can't sleep

    Let's run away and don't ever look back

    Don't ever look back

    My heart stops when you look at me

    Just one touch, now baby, I believe

    This is real

    So take a chance and don't ever look back

    Don't ever look back

    We drove to Cali and got drunk on the beach

    Got a motel and built a floor out of sheets

    I finally found you, my missing puzzle piece, I'm complete

    Let's go all the way tonight

    No regrets, just love

    We can dance until we die

    You and I we'll be young forever

    You make me feel like I'm living a

    Teenage Dream, the way you turn me on

    I can't sleep

    Let's run away and don't ever look back

    Don't ever look back

    My heart stops when you look at me

    Just one touch, now baby, I believe

    This is real

    So take a chance and don't ever look back

    Don't ever look back

    I might get your heart racing

    In my skin-tight jeans

    Be your teenage dream tonight

    Let you put your hands on me

    In my skin-tight jeans

    Be your teenage dream tonight

    You make me feel like I'm living a

    Teenage Dream, the way you turn me on

    I can't sleep

    Let's run away and don't ever look back

    Don't ever look back

    My heart stops when you look at me

    Just one touch, now baby, I believe

    This is real

    So take a chance and don't ever look back

    Don't ever look back

    I might get your heart racing

    In my skin-tight jeans

    Be your teenage dream tonight

    Let you put your hands on me

    In my skin-tight jeans

    Be your teenage dream tonight


    Lovin' U (Cinnamon Chasers) – Loving Someone Is Always The Right Answer

    Lovin' U

    Was The Right Thing To Do

    Leavin' U

    Was The Wrong Thing To Choose

    (X)


    Hazel Eyes (Maria Ayo) – A Look Brighter Than Stars

    As I see your hazel eyes

    I am lost within their skies

    As I'm loved, I come alive

    As I stay with you

    As the waves start breaking me

    As I'm pushed to farther seas

    I am breaking cause I see

    How I'm loved by you

    And I see you

    Youuu

    And I see you

    Youuu

    And I see you

    Youuu

    And I see you

    Youuu

    And I see you

    I can feel it in my blood

    I can hear in the wave

    There's a pure relentless blood

    Running through my veins

    Running through my veins

    Running through my veins

    Running through my veins

    And I see you

    Youuu

    And I see you

    Youuu

    And I see you

    Youuu

    And I see you

    Youuu

    And I see you

    Youuu

    And I see you

    Youuu

    And I see you

    Youuu

    And I see you

    Youuu

    And I see you

    Youuu

    And I see you

    Lalalala...


    Together (Cinnamon Chasers) – Boys Inseparable

    Instrumental


    Sexy Boy – Remix (Air) – Just Looking At Him!

    Sexy boy

    Sexy boy

    Sexy boy

    Sexy boy

    Où sont tes héros

    Au corps d'athlète?

    Où sont tes idoles

    Mal rasés, bien habillés?

    Sexy boy

    Sexy boy

    Dans leurs yeux des dollars

    Dans leurs sourires des diamants

    Moi aussi, un jour

    Je serai beau comme un Dieu

    Sexy boy

    Sexy boy

    Apollon 2000

    Zéro défauts, vingt-et-un ans

    C'est l'homme idéal

    Charme au masculin

    Sexy boy

    Sexy boy

    Sexy boy

    Sexy boy

    Sexy boy

    Sexy boy

    Sexy boy

    Sexy boy


    Your Sex Is A Dream (Trevor Something) – Sex With Love = Pure Heaven

    I fantasize

    Its your love that I desire

    I close my eyes

    And your body takes me high

    But can this be true

    Is it what it seems

    To be here with you

    This must be a dream

    Your sex is a dream

    And I don't want to wake up

    Your sex is a dream

    And I don't want to wake up

    Your sex is a dream

    Your body's a desert

    And your kiss is a mirage

    Delusional pleasure

    And your love is a facade

    But can this be true

    Is it what it seems

    To be here with you

    This must be a dream

    Your sex is a dream

    And I don't want to wake up

    Your sex is a dream

    And I don't want to wake up

    Your sex is a dream


    The Mess We’re In (P.J. Harvey) – Getting Caught

    Can you hear them

    The helicopters

    I'm in New York

    No need for words now

    We sit in silence

    You look me

    In the eye directly

    You met me

    I think it's wednesday

    The evening

    The mess we're in

    And ooooh...

    The city sunset over me

    The city sunset over me

    Night and day

    I dream of

    Making love

    To you now baby

    Love making

    On screen

    Impossible dream

    And I have seen

    The sunrise over the river

    The freeway

    Reminding of

    This mess we're in

    And ooooh...

    The city sunset over me

    The city sunset over me

    The city sunset over me

    The city sunset over me

    What were you wanting

    What was he wanted

    I just wanna say

    Don't ever change now baby

    I'd thank you

    I don't think we will meet again

    And you must leave now

    Before the sun rises

    Above the skycrapers

    And the city landscape comes into view

    Swell on my skin

    Oh

    This mess we're in

    Ooooh...

    The city sunset over me

    The city sunset over me

    The city sunset over me

    The city sunset over me


    Distance And Time (Alicia Keys) – Cooling Off Period

    This song is dedicated

    to all the lovers who cant be together

    separated by distance and time

    You were always on my mind All I do is count the days

    Where are you now?

    Know I never let you down

    I will never go away

    I really wish that you would stay but what would we do

    All the days that you've been gone I dream about you

    And I anticipate the day that you will come home, home, home

    No matter how far you are

    No matter how long it takes him

    Through distance and time

    I'll be waiting

    And if you have to walk a million miles

    I'll wait a million days to see you smile

    Distance and time, I'll be waiting

    Distance and time, I'll be waiting

    Will you take a train, to meet me where I am

    Are you on your way?

    And I will never do anything to hurt you

    I'll never live without you

    I really wish that you would stay but what would we do

    All the days that you've been gone I dreamed about you

    And I anticipate the day that you will come home, home, home

    No matter how far you are

    No matter how long it takes him

    Distance and time, I'll be waiting

    And if you have to walk a million miles

    I'll wait a million days to see you smile

    Distance and time

    I'll be waiting

    No matter how far you are

    No matter how long it takes him

    Through distance and time, I'll be waiting

    And you can walk a million miles

    I'll wait a million days to see you smile

    Through distance and time, I'll be waiting

    Oh oh oh, oh

    Oh oh oh, hey

    Oh oh oh oh

    I'll be waiting

    Oh oh oh

    Oh oh oh

    Through distance and time

    I'll be waiting

    You are always on my mind

    All I do is count the days

    Where are you now?


    Pretty Boy (Young Galaxy) – The Prettiest Boy In School

    When we were lost

    We found each other

    And headed sightless for the sea.

    We had no way

    Misfit and stray

    Living beyond both muse and pity.

    And I know you feel isolated

    And I feel what you won't say

    I don't care if the disbelievers

    Don't understand, you're my pretty boy, always.

    I felt no pain

    When you changed your name

    We were each other's only family.

    Walking away

    Would change the way

    And I know you feel isolated

    And I feel what you won't say

    I don't care if the disbelievers

    Don't understand, you're my pretty boy, always.

    And I know you feel isolated

    And I feel what you won't say

    I don't care if the disbelievers don't understand

    You're my pretty boy.

    And I know you feel isolated

    And I feel what you won't say

    I don't care if the disbelievers don't understand

    You're my pretty boy, always.

    Always.


    Not Enough Time (INXS) – Even Forever Wouldn’t Be Enough

    And I was lost for words

    In your arms

    Attempting to make sense

    Of my aching heart

    If I could just be

    Everything and everyone to you

    This life would just be so easy

    Not enough time for all

    That I want for you

    Not enough time for every kiss

    And every touch and all the nights

    I wanna be inside you

    We will make time stop

    For the two of us

    Make time stop

    And listen for our sighs

    Not enough time for all

    That I want for you

    Not enough time for every kiss

    And every touch and all the nights

    I wanna be inside you

    In our fight against the end

    Making love we are immortal

    We are the last two left on earth

    And I was lost for words

    In your arms

    Attempting to make sense of

    My aching heart

    If I could just be everything

    And everyone to you

    Not enough time for all

    That I want for you

    Not enough time for every kiss

    Not enough time for all my love

    Not enough time for every touch

    Not enough time for all

    That I want for you

    Not enough time for every kiss

    And every touch and all the nights

    I wanna be inside you


    In Your Eyes (Glee Cover of Peter Gabriel) – Living In Brandon's Eyes

    Love I get so lost sometimes

    Days pass

    And this emptiness fills my heart

    When I want to run away

    I drive off in my car

    But whichever way I go

    I come back to the place you are

    All my instincts

    They return

    The grand façade

    So soon will burn

    Without a noise

    Without my pride

    I reach out from the inside

    In your eyes

    The light, the heat

    I am complete

    I see the doorway

    To a thousand churches

    The resolution

    Of all the fruitless searches

    Oh, I see the light and the heat

    Oh, All I want to be that complete

    All I want is touch the light

    The heat I see in your eyes

    Love

    I don't like to see so much pain

    So much wasted

    And this moment keeps slipping away

    I get so tired

    Working so hard for our survival

    I look to the time with you

    To keep me awake and alive

    And all my instincts

    They return

    And the grand façade

    So soon will burn

    Without a noise

    Without my pride

    I reach out from the inside

    In your eyes, in your eyes

    In your eyes, in your eyes

    In your eyes The light the heat

    In your eyes

    I am complete

    In your eyes

    I see the doorway

    To a thousand churches

    In your eyes

    The resolution

    In your eyes

    Of all the fruitless searches

    Oh, I see the light and the heat

    In your eyes

    Oh, I want to be that complete

    I want to touch the light

    The heat I see in your eyes

    In your eyes, in your eyes

    In your eyes, in your eyes

    In your eyes, in your eyes


    I Can’t Ever Get Enough Of You (Darren Hayes) – Insatiable Love

    Darren Hayes - I Can't Ever Get Enough Of You Lyrics | MetroLyrics

    Well I know that I have only ever held your hand

    But just one touch is more than enough to understand

    There's a master plan

    And although I know I don't believe in destiny

    Maybe it found me

    Now my world is filled with so many things

    But nothing compares to the touch of your skin

    There's a symphony

    And a melody that plays whenever you're around

    I think I've been found

    I can see the sun

    And I can feel the rain

    I can hear the wind call your name

    I can feel your love

    But there's one thing I can't do

    I can't ever get enough of you

    Now I know that in the past I've been much too keen

    But your eyes are the kindest that I've ever seen

    I guess there are some things you just know

    There's a voice inside telling me to hold on

    And never let you go

    There's a tune that plays

    It's a sacred sound It's a symphony

    I hear whenever you're around

    Now my world is filled

    With a whisper of love and a promise of tomorrow

    I can see the sun

    And I can feel the rain

    I can hear the wind call your name

    I can feel your love

    But there's one thing I can't do

    I can't ever get enough of you

    When we make love I lose track of time

    I can't count all the colors I see in your eyes

    And while your heart beats in mine, it's true

    I can't ever get enough of you

    Now my world is filled with so many things

    But nothing compares to the touch of your skin

    There's a symphony

    And a melody that plays whenever you're around

    I think I've been found

    I can see the sun

    And I can feel the rain

    I can hear the wind call your name

    I can feel your love

    But there's one thing I can't do

    I can't ever get enough of you

    I can see the sun

    And I can feel the rain

    I can hear the wind call your name

    I can feel your love

    But there's one thing I can't do

    I can't ever get enough of you

  11. It seems like I'm saying it a lot lately, but I'm sorry for no new updates.  I had hoped to get back into a groove, but so far... nothing.  Sadly, it's not like I don't know what I want to happen, but every time I sit down in front of the computer to put anything down... I'm struggling to find the right words.  Bailey and Declan haunt me nightly to finish their story.  I'm constantly falling asleep to their story (and sometimes Kayden's next one :) ).  I even thought trying out a story for the halloween thing would help, but while I managed a short one for that.  Bailey and Declan still seem to evade being put into writing.  

     

    I do so appreciate all the wonderful comments and encouragement.  And, as I said before, I will finish--I just don't know when.  I'm so sorry.  I just thought everyone should know that I haven't forgotten it.  I'm just... stuck.

  12. On September 25, 2015 2017, I went for my six month Urological check-up and came away with a clean bill of health. My next check-up is in six months again. 

     

    It's been almost four years now since the bladder tumors were found and I'm Cancer free. After the next appointment, I might be able to switch to an annual bladder check. It's not all that exciting having a small flexible scope pushed into the urethra, not to mention the burning pain when I need to pee the next few times.

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    Wesley8890
    Latest Entry

    Its September 28th. You should be twenty nine today. But you didn't even reach two years old. I'm sorry that you never even reached two years old. I'm sorry I never got to know you. I'm sorry you died in a fire crying by yourself. I'm sorry your mother wasn't there when sure should've been. I'm sorry your father wasn't there when he should've been. I'm sorry I wasn't there, but then I couldn't have been. I'm sorry that your parents thought so little of you that almost exactly to the day nine months later I was born. I'm sorry they thought they could replace you. I'm sorry you never got to meet our little brother. I'm sorry you never got a pair of decent parents like we did when we were adopted. I'm sorry I never got to tell you I liked boys. I'm sorry you never got a chance to find out who you liked. I'm sorry we never got to give each other birthday presents, or wedgies, or wet willies. I'm sorry that you never had a chance to live. I'm sorry I never visit your grave.

     

    What I'm not sorry for is remembering you. I'm not sorry that I honor you when I use my middle name. I'm not sorry that I remember your birthday. I'm not sorry for never forgiving your parents. I'm not sorry that I hate them for not being there for them. I'm not sorry for loving you even though we never got a chance to meet.

     

    Happy Birthday to you, my Big brother, Wesley Irvin Evans from me your little bro Jack Wesley Wimberly

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    I want to thank everyone at Gay Authors who has made my visits here so satisfying and enjoyable.  The stories are what brought me here and keeps me coming back so I first want to thank Mark Arbour for his CAP Series and later his Bridgemont saga. Mark's stories are what brought me to the site in the first place and they keep me coming back.  Along the way C. James' "Circumnavigation" and Andrew Q Gordon's stories also captivated me...and so many others too including Nephylim, Libby Drew, AnytaSunday, DKstories, and oh, so many others!

     

    As I was visiting the site fairly regularly, I finally decided to formally join it in April 2009 and I started to leave a few comments, getting more confident after awhile.  "Likes" were not unlimited and actually fairly restricted, meaning I often ran out every day.  Accordingly, reputation points built quite slowly for most on the site and that is why some of the classic authors' rep scores must seem low to newer members.  It is only in the past couple of years that members could leave an unlimited number of likes. 

     

    I finally had written and revised something enough that I thought was good enough to post and "Dean Warner Intrigues" was posted in 2012.  Having tasted some success, I began writing "Abel III's Awakening" and it was posted in 2014 and 2015.   I intend to post some more, but my standards have grown and I'm not satisfied with anything as of yet.  

     

    Seventy years is getting a bit long in the tooth and for most people in their teens, twenties and thirties it doesn't seem possible to project that far ahead into one's life.  But most everyone has grandparents, parents and other oldsters in their life and you do notice things.  Not all of them complimentary either.   Life is often explained in terms of a journey and what you make of it, how you prepare for it and how you take time to enjoy it and help others to enjoy it determines whether you derive satisfaction and what kind of person you end up being.  The pursuit of happiness is hollow if it only involves the pursuit of money or things.  It is also hollow if it only involves the next drug or alcohol induced high as that gets old quickly and makes you old before your time and unhealthy to boot.  

     

    People are social creatures.  We crave interaction, touch and a sense of belonging.  However, it is just those things that makes us vulnerable. Learning to chose friends wisely is an ongoing lesson.  Everyone gets hurt, and in truth everyone has hurt some others, even if unintentionally.  Forgiveness is a virtue which must be cultivated if we expect others to forgive us.  Every long term relationship requires forgiveness and not just the act of saying it, but also of letting go of the resentment and hurt caused by the offense. It is not always easy and is damn near impossible at times, but the resentment and anger can eat at you.  And life is too short to carry that around all the time. 

     

    I have had many family and friends die over the course of my life and some died much too young.  What is worse, some died before they really had a chance to achieve anything, as I had a cousin who was murdered in a drive by shooting in Denver when he was in his early twenties.  But most were of great help to me and always encouraging and I treasure the memories. 

     

    So while I have many regrets, but then again too few to mention, (a la Sinatra) I have had a good life so far and I'm looking forward to being productive for several more.  

     

    Thanks again GA for being part of my good memories!

     

    Daddy, Dave K

     

     

  13. Once upon a time scientists thought the world was flat.

    Then they discovered chromosomes .

    (these two events have nothing to do with each other, I'm simply using them of references to establish a time line)

    Scientists discovered the (X) Chromosome and (Y) chromosome. The pattern in which these chromosomes occur decides whether someone is born (male) or (female)

    All eggs start out with with (XX), female. Then once fertilized a surge of hormones in the uterus decide whether a fetus stays female or becomes male.

    This path to maleness or femaleness originates at the moment of meiosis, when a cell divides to produce gametes, or sex cells having half the normal number of chromosomes. During meiosis the male XY sex-chromosome pair separates and passes on an X or a Y to separate gametes; the result is that one-half of the gametes (sperm) that are formed contains the X chromosome and the other half contains the Y chromosome. The female has two X chromosomes, and all female egg cells normally carry a single X. The eggs fertilized by X-bearing sperm become females (XX), whereas those fertilized by Y-bearing sperm become males (XY).

     

    That was a lot of science talk, I'm sorry. But are you with me so far? Good.

     

    So... time skip...

     

    Due to ADVANCES IN SCIENCE (dun dun dun... oh no! that means somethings going to change!) scientists have now discovered that this isn't always the case!  They have found that their are MORE THEN TWO POSSIBLE CHROMOSOME PATTERNS! (le gasp!). So what does this mean? 

    (get ready for some more SCIENCE!)

     

    Some genetic men  possess an extra X chromosome (XXY) or more rarely, two or three extra Xs (XXXY, XXXXY); they typically produce low levels of testosterone, leading to less-developed masculine sexual characteristics and more-developed feminine characteristics than other men. In contrast, some men receive an extra Y chromosome (XYY) in the genetic lottery (and while they have been referred to as "supermales" that is more sensationalism than science).

     

    Some genetic women  have only one X chromosome; they often display less-developed female sexual characteristics than other women. And people with a genetic mosaic possess XX chromosomes in some cells and XY in others.

     

    Even if you get the "right" combination of sex chromosomes, it's no guarantee that you'll fit into the little boxes society has defined as of male and female.

    For example, genetic women (XX) with congenital adrenal hyperplasia produced unusually high levels of virilizing hormones in utero and develop stereo typically masculine sexual characteristics, including masculinized genitals.

     

    Similarly, genetic men (XY) with complete androgen insensitivity syndrome don't respond to male hormones and fail to develop masculine sexual characteristics. Most live their lives as women.

     

    So what does this mean for society?

    Some people with penises are more feminine and some people without penises are masculine. 

    The way we characterize this difference is called GENDER.

    (I know it's scary, but please, stay with me!)

     

    Sex refers to what sexual organs you have. There are two kids of sexual organs, MALE and FEMALE. And there fore four possible combonations

    MALE

    FEMALE

    BOTH

    NEITHER

     

    but! We're not done.

     

    Gender refers to your mind, behavior and thought patterns; wither someone displays more 'masculine qualities' or 'feminine qualities' , which is in part determined by you chromosomal patters (which we have now learned has MANY MANY options) and how you were raised/ influenced throughout your life (nature vs nurture debate is on going).

    Since the discovery of these chromosomal patters that differentiate from (XX) and (XY) scientists realized that not only does your sexual organs not always match your personality qualities but that their is a

     

    (wait for it.....  )

     

    SPECTRUM OF POSSIBILITIES!

     

    Now referred to as Gender Spectrum.

    This is Science (biology, sociology and psychology)

     

    So since there are more then two options we need more then two classifications, but unlimited possible patters mean way too many classifications for people to keep straight. 

    Non-Binary is a good start. it's an umbrella term for anyone who doesn't fit into either the 'masculine' or feminine' box.

     

    But mostly what it means is;

    Once scientists thought the world was flat.

    Once scientists thought that the earth is the center of the Universe and that all other objects move around it.

    Once scientists believed illnesses could be cured by bloodletting.

    Once scientists believed the Earth was constantly growing and shrinking in size.

    Once scientists thought frogs and toads could give you warts.

    Once scientists thought lightening never struck the same place twice.

    Once scientists thought there were only two genders.

     

    Science changes, people. Get with the times. Educate yourselves. 

     

    This has been A Science Lesson with Professor Lee.

    Thanks and Have a nice day :)

  14. It's live! We've finally hit the release day for Earning His Trust, which originally started here on GA as No Flash. AND guess what? It's 30% off at Dreamspinner Press through the 8th! You can get it there for just $3.49 if you haven't already. 

     
    Earning%2BHis%2BTrust%2BGA%2BLg%2BBanner.jpg
     
     
    Purchase Links: 
    Universal Amazon Link: http://mybook.to/earninghistrust
     

    Blurb:

    Evin lost the only two men he ever loved. But he might get a second chance with one of them—if he’s willing to take the risk.  

     

    Following the death of his husband, Evin is living in Portland and raising the infant son they had through a surrogate. Six-month-old Micah is his life, and if it means no time for activities or friendships beyond his minuscule support network, that’s a sacrifice Evin is willing to make. When he suffers a burn baking teething biscuits, the last person Evin expects to encounter in the ER is Ben, his lover from college—and the man who left him without a word of explanation.  

     

    Ben knows it won’t be easy to earn Evin’s trust and prove he’s not the same man Evin once knew, but he can’t bear to watch Evin struggle to care for Micah, hurting and alone. He wants back in Evin’s life, as a friend and hopefully more, but Evin’s heart is fragile, and the years have changed him too.

     

    Excerpt:

    The curtain slid on the overhead rails, and Evin held in his urge to snap about how long it took to get to him when the nurse said the ER was slow, but he froze with his mouth open.

     

    “Hello, I’m Dr. Perez. I see you burn—” The doctor snapped his jaw shut and stopped before he reached the head of the bed. Micah was oblivious, sitting between his legs and playing with his fake keys, chewing away on the rubber tips and drooling. He clutched the soggy remains of a biscuit in his other hand.

     

    Evin had to swallow hard himself. Of all the hospitals, in all the cities, his old boyfriend had to be in this one.

     

    He looked… good. Older, some wrinkles at the corners of his eyes. It had been… how long since he’d seen him? Not since Ben was graduating medical school the same year Evin was graduating with a business degree. Evin certainly never expected to see him here, and by the shocked look on Ben’s face, he hadn’t known Evin lived in Portland either. Evin waited for Ben to say something else, but he just kept staring. Evin took a deep breath. He could be an adult. He was a dad now.

     

    “Burned my hand,” he finished the sentence Ben never did. “I did it about an hour ago, and it really hurts.” Maybe he could move this along. Plus, Micah was on his third biscuit and getting fussy again. He probably needed to be changed, have some lunch, and then would fall asleep for the afternoon, just so he could keep Evin up all night again.

     

    Ben dropped his gaze to Micah and then looked up to stare at Evin again. “What happened to you?”

     

    Did he mean how Evin probably looked like he’d aged at least ten years since Ben bailed right before graduation, the last night they’d spoken? Well, spoken wasn’t a very good description for the fight they’d had after weeks of Ben ducking Evin’s questions about what he was planning. Maybe their relationship had run its course; maybe it was better for them not to be together.

     

    But he’d never expected Ben to just up and leave. It’d been hard, but Evin had a job offer in Portland and he’d taken it. Fortunately, his best friend, Gianna, came with him, and they got an apartment together in a not-so-great area of Happy Valley. It’d been nice to have a friend he knew would stick by him, but then she met Carl, and they fell in love. Not long after that he met someone, but that had gone wrong too.

     

    Gone was the bright, glittery guy who lit up the room in a flash, and this version of himself was all Evin knew how to be anymore. It was probably a disappointment. His hair was cut short instead of hanging down to his shoulders, and he was in a blue T-shirt and a pair of gray sweats instead of skintight everything. Nothing at all like how Ben would remember him.

     

    Was he wondering how in the hell Evin had a kid, since he’d never even kissed a girl—at least before when Ben knew him? Probably.

     

    Or had he brushed off their history, leaving Evin as the only one thinking about how the years had changed them—Ben definitely for the better. Most likely, he meant how Evin got the burn. He was a professional after all, and Evin was probably just another patient to him.

     

    In the end, it didn’t really matter. His appearance, how he got hurt, it all came down to just one thing.

     

    “Teething.”

  15. Ingredients

     

    1 (15.25 ounce) pkg. devil's food cake mix

    1/2 cup vegetable oil

    2 eggs

    1 pkg. Andes Mints

     

     

    Instructions

     

    Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.

     

    In a large bowl, combine cake mix, oil and eggs.

    Drop spoonfuls of dough onto a baking sheet.

     

    Bake for 6-9 minutes.

     

    Take baking sheet out of oven and while cookies are still very hot, place an Andes Mint on top of each cookie.

    In about 5 minutes, the mint will be melted. Take a spoon and smooth out each mint like frosting.

     

     

    Note: I have found it easier to buy a bag of the andes mint pieces (can be found with the chocolate chips). I mix some into the batter, and then melt the rest to drizzle over top of the cookies instead of using full Andes Mints and having to wait for them to melt and then spread them. You could also melt the extra pieces and dip the cookies and place them on wax paper.

     

    *Recipe courtesy of Six Sisters

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    As most of my friends were graduating college and moving on with their lives, I was getting left behind. I couldn't afford to finish school and worked my life away. Every day waking up and doing the same thing. Go to work. Go to a second job. Go to sleep. Repeat. It was horrible and I started falling into a pretty dark depression. Writing was the one thing I could turn to that would make me feel happy. Make me feel like me again.

     

    Any free time I had I would try and write something. Many ideas came and went, just like all writers, but one idea stuck with me. A story about Patrick and his college experience. For months I wrote about him, his friends, his school, his loves. All these different stories making me feel nostalgic for college but helping lift my spirits. I fine tuned his adventures and compiled things into a neat little snippet of his freshman year. From move in day to the start of winter break. It wasn't half bad either. Something I rarely said about my own work. In those weeks, The CSU Stories were born.

     

    Most of my projects sit on a computer or notebook somewhere and are never seen again. It didn't feel right for Patrick to fade into obscurity though. I shared the story with my Mom. An editing queen and published author herself, she read the story and was not shy about leaving her remarks. At first I felt discouraged. Like maybe it was garbage that I wrote but then I got to the last page. She wrote a paragraph telling me how proud she was of me and how amazing the story was and would be after I finished the editing process. Something  a Mother had to say.

     

    It spurred me on. I edited everything she marked and resubmitted it her. Round two of edits came down and I flew through them. Patrick was finished and ready to be something. What I didn't know. My Mom suggested I make it an ebook and I thought she was crazy. No one would want to read it. She pushed me until I finally did and in 2013, Patrick was released on Amazon. Four years later we worked together to make Patrick a paperback as well. It's been an amazing journey to this point but I'm proud of the work we did. Now almost six years since I started work on Patrick the next book in the series will be releasing on Friday!

     

    You can get Patrick on Amazon in either format at https://goo.gl/szVDR5

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    BlindAmbition
    Latest Entry

    Hello All! 
    I've been instructed to write this letter. For my actions and reactions to an issue with a friend. I did not handle myself in an appropriate way. Being irrational. 
    I apologize to the Sirs I disrespected. With the way I may have addressed them. Along with not honoring with proper title. I deeply regret my actions to you. I've embarrassed myself and Sir. 
    I promise to be more mindful in future. Respecting Sirs and friends. Showing respect and settling my issues directly with individuals involved. 
    I hope you can forgive my outbursts and current irrational behavior. I'm working through what I need too. With Sir, and hopefully Dr. help. 

  16. Time to dust this blog thing off.... I haven't written anything since November 2015.

     

    So over the last few months I have come to the decision that moving back to the Maryland area was the wrong decision. While it may help with my career aspirations, I really want to move away.

     

    I pretty much have decided if I stay with Big Red (even though our colors changed the nickname sticks) I will either land up in Colorado or Minnesota. While Minnesota would be preferred I am not ruling anything out. I was given a heads up on an opening that is coming and I have been waiting for it to post.

     

    When I told a few co-workers my plan/idea... all my old boss could say was I told you so. When I chose to come back East I pretty much ignored the reasons I left which was a huge mistake. My boss new she couldn't talk me out of it as family was weighing on my mind heavily. Now that I am back I miss it.

     

    Yes it could get really cold out there. I learned what -50 felt like. Which is why when it is 20 degrees you will catch me in short sleeve shirt with no jacket.

     

    I bought a house here.... yeah it was cheaper than rent. The commute of one and half hours to two is killing me and the gas costs are though the roof.

     

    Friends... everyone complained I was too far away in Iowa. I moved closer and I am still too far. Despite the fact they go to the outlets 10 minuets from me.

     

    My parents seem ok with idea of me moving back. They noticed I am not as happy as I was. Actually a lot of people have. I need to do what makes me happy.

     

    My health... I was better off. No issues at all. No chest pain or kidney issues. I will find out Monday what they want to do about my right kidney. 10 months since the stone removal and it drains at a snails pace. I had a scan a few Friday's ago and the contrast was still chilling in my Kidney 45 minutes later. I also have another stone that may require surgery to remove.

     

    Here's to hoping I can pull this off.... maybe with relo this time so I am not paying out of pocket.

  17. So, I'm writing again. I'm sure that'll excite the 2.7 people who remember when I used to post stories here.

     

    I don't think I've had writers block, it's just rare that opportunity and inspiration intersect in my schedule these days. The only reason I'm even writing this week is because I'm recovering from surgery to insert plates in my face. Bad hockey injury, cheekbone broken in three places. Do not recommend.

    Anyway, would really appreciate feedback on the prologue I've been working on. I have thirty-two chapters mapped out in Scrivener, so hopefully the words start to flow nicely now that I've figured out the beginning.

     

    Enjoy!

     

    Quote

    “Hey Jordy, what’s orange and sounds like a parrot?”

     

    Stuart Bomford delivered the joke like a seasoned late-night comedian, despite the fact that his current audience consisted of a solitary, disinterested teenager.  

     

    “You know you tried that one on me last week, right?”

     

    Jordan Russell didn’t even bother to look at his best friend, choosing instead to bounce the basketball in his right hand three times and bring it smoothly to his right hip, before calmly swishing another free throw. It was a routine that had served him well over the years, delivering countless made baskets in a string of high school gyms, and it looked certain to deliver another victory today as Jordan collected the ball and jogged back to the makeshift free throw line on his driveway.

     

    “You really need some new material, Stu.” Jordan moved back into his shooting routine, needing just one more made basket to win the game. He bounced the ball three more times with his right hand, brought it smoothly back to his right hip, and then, just as he was about to flick his wrist…

     

    “Why wasn’t Cinderella very good at basketball?”

     

    Jordan paused in the middle of his shooting motion, momentarily distracted by the question. Had Stuart actually sourced some new material? He glanced sideways at his best friend, curious to know both the material’s origin and the source of Cinderella’s woes.

     

    “Are you gonna finish the joke or what?” Jordan asked, continuing to stare at his friend. He got nothing but a shit-eating grin in return.

     

    “Ugh, you’re such a dick.” Perturbed by Stuart’s lack of response, Jordan resumed his shooting routine, bouncing the ball three more times with his right hand before…

     

    “Her coach was a pumpkin!”

     

    The punchline was delivered at the exact moment of Jordan’s release, causing him to miss the shot wide right. The ball clanged off the side of the rim and straight into Stuart’s grasp.

     

    “Damn it!”

     

    “HA!” Stuart briefly held the ball aloft, before swooping past Jordan’s outstretched hand and dribbling it back towards the half-court line.

     

    “I feel violated.” Jordan shook his head at Stuart’s childish humour, annoyed at both his poor execution and his inability to keep a straight face. “That joke was terrible.”

     

    “Suck it up, princess.” Stuart had zero remorse for his actions, especially now that the ball was back in his possession. “You had your chance. Deal with it.”

     

    The pair began to size each other up again, like they’d done thousands of times before in this setting. Though Jordan was the quicker and more skillful of the two, Stuart was able to hold his own by utilising superior size and strength. Their backyard games of twenty-one often came down to the final shot.

     

    “You know I’m gonna beat you, right?” Stuart spoke the words with absolute confidence, though he was still trailing by two baskets. “Like Chris Brown beat Rihanna.”

     

    “Settle down. Jesus.”

     

    Jordan gestured toward his eight-year-old brother, Rory, who was playing with his Transformers just a handful of metres away. Though Rory appeared blissfully unaware of Stuart’s vulgarity, he was known to repeat their words at the most inopportune times.

     

    “I forgot you’re on babysitting duty.” Stuart at least had the grace to look mildly embarrassed. “Wouldn’t want you to be grounded again.”

     

    “Whatever.” Jordan dismissed his friend’s faux concern, instead focusing on the defensive task in front of him. “You gonna shoot the ball or what?”

     

    “Oooooh, talk dirty to me.” Stuart began dribbling the ball again, though he made no immediate attempt to attack the basket.

     

    “Come on, get on with it.” Stuart continued to dribble the ball, hoping that Jordan would become impatient and potentially be lured into a mistake.

     

    “Seriously, do you want a written invitation?” Right on cue, Jordan started pushing up into Stuart’s personal space, attempting to push him further and further away from the basket.

     

    “Do you… DAMN IT!” Jordan pushed into Stuart’s left shoulder again, but this time Stuart used his momentum against him and muscled his way past for an easy layup.

     

    “You really are too predictable sometimes.” Stuart dribbled the ball back to the halfway line, grinning all the while.

     

    “Try it again,” Jordan challenged, immediately crowding his personal space again. He was now bouncing on the balls of his feet, mirroring Stuart’s every move, determined to steal the ball away and put an end to the charade.  

     

    “You really need to work on that first step, Stu.” Jordan was more in control of his aggression now, staying in front every time Stuart jab-stepped and attempted to catch him unawares. “It’s almost as bad as your haircut.”

     

    “Screw you, boyband.” Stuart used his non-dominant hand to flip Jordan the bird, briefly leaving the ball exposed.

     

    “DAMN IT!” Jordan darted to his left and made a quick swipe at the ball, missing by mere millimetres. The move did force Stuart to pick up his dribble, however, meaning that he’d now be forced to shoot from where he was standing or risk a double-dribble violation.

     

    “Sucked in.” Jordan planted his feet and raised both hands in the air, knowing that all he had to do was wait for Stuart to attempt an unlikely 33ft jump shot.

     

    “You’re a dick, you know that?” Stuart let out an exasperated sigh, annoyed that he’d been checkmated. “I don’t know why the fuck I play with you sometimes.”

     

    “Hey, easy on the language.” Jordan gestured toward his little brother again, still quietly playing with his Transformers in the front garden.

     

    “Yeah yeah, whatever.”

     

    “I’m serious.”

     

    “Yeah yeah.”

     

    Neither of them cared to the repeat the ‘What’s a Dirty Sanchez?’ incident from three weeks ago, especially now that Jordan’s mother knew how to use Urban Dictionary.

     

    “Anyway,” Jordan turned his attention back to Stuart, “you may as well shoot. I’m not going anywhere.”

     

    “Whatever.” Stuart again sized up his options, however limited they were, and made a quick decision. Flipping the bird once more in Jordan’s face, he spun away to his right and planted both sneakers on the pavement, before leaping high into the air over Jordan’s outstretched hand.

     

    “KOBE!!!!!!!” He shouted the name of his basketball idol, hoping to emulate his feats as he released a one-handed hook shot that could only be described as a ‘prayer’.The ball sailed over the top of the backboard and landed on the garage roof.

     

    “Nice job, dickhead.”

     

    “Language!” Stuart mocked Jordan’s earlier chastening, as both boys moved to stand next to the garage. “You know what happened last time.”

     

    “Whatever.”

     

    Jordan mirrored Stuart’s earlier middle-finger gesture, before beginning to assess their options.

     

    “What are we gonna do?” Stuart asked, acutely aware that the game was still tied at 20-20.

     

    “Climb up.” Jordan pointed toward the wooden frame attached to the garage’s side wall, originally installed by his father to train an ivy plant.

     

    “You want me to climb this thing?” Stuart inspected the latticework more closely. Though it had hand and foot gaps big enough to accommodate an adult, he seriously doubted its ability to carry his 6’3”, 100kg frame.

     

    “Unless you have a better idea?”

     

    “Don’t you guys have a ladder or something?” Stuart pushed and pulled at the wooden frame’s joints, wincing as they made a groaning sound. “Surely your dad owns a ladder?”

     

    “Don’t think so.” Jordan made no immediate move to test this theory.

     

    “Can you at least check?” Stuart rolled his eyes, watching as Jordan opened the side door to the garage and began rummaging through its contents.

     

    He returned after a minute or so. “Nope. No ladder.”

     

    “What about a broom? A rake?”

     

    “Maybe.” Jordan went back into the garage, emerging a few seconds later with a broom.

     

    “Thank you.” Stuart took the broom from Jordan’s grasp and attempted to poke the ball loose, but the handle wasn’t long enough. Even with a running leap, he came up two and a half feet short.

     

    “Fuck sake.” Stuart cast the broom aside in frustration, earning another 'look' from Jordan. “Is there anything else we can use?”

     

    “Not unless a ladder has materialised in the last sixty seconds.” Jordan’s sarcasm wasn’t appreciated by Stuart. He checked the garage again anyway, unsurprisingly coming up empty. “Nope, definitely nothing.”

     

    “What are we gonna do then?” Stuart asked, inspecting the latticework again. He still didn’t trust its integrity. “I really don’t think this will hold my weight.”

     

    “You sure?” Jordan inspected the wooden frame himself, eliciting the same groaning sound that Stuart heard earlier.

     

    “Positive.”

     

    “Okay.” Jordan surveyed their other options again, quickly dismissing a rake that was the same length as the broom and a fence that was too far away from the garage wall. His attention returned to the wooden frame, as he inspected it more closely. The structure groaned each time he pulled at it, but it actually seemed to maintain its structural integrity. It wouldn’t be able to hold Stuart’s weight, but maybe it could hold a smaller mass.

     

    “Heyyyyyyy Rory…”

     

    Jordan’s brother looked up from the battle between Megatron and Optimus Prime, a brief flash of apprehension in his eyes. “Yeah…?”

     

    “Need a massive favour, buddy.”

     

    “What…?” Rory hoped that he’d misheard the conversation he wasn’t supposed to be listening to.

     

    “We need you to climb up on the roof and get the ball down.”

     

    Rory looked all the way up to the top of the garage, to where the ball was wedged behind the backboard, before looking back down at his brother.

     

    “Why…?”

     

    “I left my other ball at Stu’s.” Jordan added a pleading tone to his voice, as Stuart nodded to confirm the story. “Can you please help us?”

     

    “I dunno…” Rory placed his Transformers down on the grass, but didn’t make any move to stand.

     

    “You won’t get into trouble.” Jordan offered Rory his biggest and most comforting smile, though he had no ability to promise such a thing.  

     

    “What if dad comes home?” Rory asked, still not convinced. “What if mum comes home?”

     

    “Dad’s at work, Mum’s at the supermarket.” Jordan truly had an answer for everything. “They won’t be back for ages.”

     

    “But what if they come back early?”

     

    “They won’t.”

     

    Jordan could see that Rory’s defenses were beginning to wear down. He watched as he broke off a blade of grass and began to fidget.

     

    “If you do it, I’ll take you to McDonald’s.” Jordan moved to seal the deal now, smiling as the fidgeting stopped.

     

    “Okay…”

     

    Rory finally climbed to his feet, taking Jordan’s promise at face value. With a whimper, he accepted a leg-up from Jordan and began to slowly climb the latticework, the structure easily supporting his lesser weight. Eventually reaching the top without issue, he slowly crawled across the roof to dislodge both the lost basketball and a couple of long-forgotten tennis balls.

     

    Then he made the mistake of looking down.

     

    “I-I’m scared, Jordy.” Rory’s bottom lip began to quiver, as he realised the enormity of his predicament. He was frozen to the spot, unable to lift even a single finger. Tears began splashing onto the corrugated iron beneath him. “H-Help me!”

     

    “It’s ok, buddy.” Jordan was regretting his decision now, as he watched helplessly from ground level. Many, many metres below. “I’ll help you get down.”

     

    “B-but I’m s-s-scared.” Rory’s trembling grew more pronounced, as the tears continued to fall. “I don’t wanna get caught.”

     

    “You won’t get caught.“ Jordan gave Rory his warmest and most comforting smile, in the hope that it would be enough to settle him down. “Mum and Dad won’t be back for ages.”

     

    “B-But Dad said not to climb on the roof!” Rory continued to argue against climbing on the roof, even as he sat atop it. “I’m gonna be in real big trouble if he finds out.”

     

    “You’d better get a move on, then.”

     

    Before the words had even fully left his mouth, Stuart found himself in Jordan’s cross hairs. The comment was meant to be sarcastic, meant to be taken as a joke, but it had only served to upset Rory further.  

     

    “Not helping, Stu.” Jordan cut a sideways glare at his best friend, as Rory’s sniffling grew louder.

     

    “What I meant—”

     

    “NOT. HELPING.”

     

    “Whatever.” Stuart rolled his eyes at Jordan’s outburst, muttering some additional four-letter words under his breath as he scooped the basketball up from the concrete and disappeared back down the driveway.

     

    “You ok?” Jordan turned his attention back to his little brother, smiling as he nodded between sniffles. “Good.”  Stuart’s sarcasm aside, he really was now conscious of the time it was taking. Though he didn’t necessarily want to, he decided to push Rory a little bit harder. “Now, let’s get you down off this roof. Can you move your hands for me, buddy?”

     

    “Ummm…” Rory stared down at his hands, the motion causing a few leftover tears to leak out. “I-I guess.”

     

    “Good.” Jordan gave his brother an encouraging nod, his smile still warm and bright. “We’re gonna do this one step at a time, okay?” He nodded again, hoping to show enough confidence for both of them. “Move your right hand forward, then your right knee.” Jordan watched as Rory began to regain control of his extremities, staring intently each time he placed a hand or knee down as if the iron sheets may part from under him.

     

    “That’s it. You’re doing great.” Rory continued to crawl slowly across the corrugated iron, as Jordan offered more encouraging words.

     

    “N-Now what?” Rory asked, after eventually reaching the edge. He surveyed the 12ft drop beneath him, eyes threatening to overflow again.

     

    “It’s ok, there’s no rush.” Jordan was mindful of his brother’s state of mind, even as time continued to tick away. “When you’re ready, swing your legs out over the edge and hold onto the gutter really tight.”

     

    Jordan watched as Rory dangled one foot out over the edge, before quickly retracting it.

     

    “I-I’m scared, Jordy.” Rory was again rooted to the spot, unable to stop the tears from falling again.

     

    “Don’t worry, I’m right here.” Jordan inched closer to the garage wall, ready to catch his brother in a worst case scenario. “Nothing bad will happen.”

     

    “P-Promise?” Rory still didn’t look certain.

     

    “Pinky swear.” Jordan wiggled his little finger to reinforce the statement, smiling as Rory unconsciously mirrored the gesture. “Now, are you ready?”

     

    “Yeah…”

     

    “Okay.” Jordan inched closer again to the wall, ready to act as Rory’s safety net. “Now swing your leg over and hold on really tight.”

     

    “Okay…” With one last sniffle, Rory slid his left leg over the edge and began to follow Jordan’s instructions. He used his left foot to gain a foothold in the latticework, then repeated the same process with his right foot.

     

    “Hey Jord…”

     

    Jordan watched as Rory took a strong grip of the guttering, oblivious to the fact that Stuart was waving his arms and calling his name from the bottom of the driveway.

     

    “Jordan…”

     

    Then he heard the slam of a car door, followed by an angry voice.

     

    “WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?!”

     

    Jordan panicked. Seized up. An instinctive reaction after eighteen years under his father’s roof.

     

    “WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU—”

     

    “JORDYYYYYYY!!”

     

    He didn’t see Rory lose his grip until it was too late.

     

  18. 1*D8GH5556aCv9dAhd-xV2Mw.jpeg
    It's here, it's finally here!

    "Rivers of the Dead" looks amazing with its brand new cover and renovation to this new-fangled age of digital media. That's right, it's available as both a paperback and as an ebook, and here's four reasons why you should consider buying it:

     

     

    1)    It's a story about love, about sacrifice and overcoming grief—it'll pull on your heart over and over again as you journey with Caleb as he journeys to The Underworld to reclaim his friend's soul.

    2)    The mythological perspective is fresh, even if it returns us to the classic Greek myth of Orpheus. He may be ancient, but he's traded his lute for a guitar and a wickedly sarcastic attitude. You'll love him.

    3)    If you like my stories, you'll like this one, too. If you trust me to tell a good story, you'll definitely like this one.

    4)    If for no other reason, I'm taking the plunge in October and quitting my day job to become a full-time writer. Your support simply by purchasing this book will do more for me than you can possibly imagine.

     

     

    Whether you decide to pick up a copy or not, know that I appreciate you getting this far. I love being part of this community, and I appreciate all the support you've given me over the years.

     

     

    That being said, there's a link here I hope you'll check out:

     

     

    Ebook: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0742J15QF/ref=s9u_simh_gw_i1?ie=UTF8&fpl=fresh&pd_rd_i=B0742J15QF&pd_rd_r=7TC92AN6F77Y97R4E8G1&pd_rd_w=DRFPb&pd_rd_wg=BkBqf&pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_s=&pf_rd_r=XBV8WT4VN04MG2K0HAEK&pf_rd_t=36701&pf_rd_p=781f4767-b4d4-466b-8c26-2639359664eb&pf_rd_i=desktop

     

    Paperback: https://www.amazon.com/Rivers-Dead-Samuel-D-Roe/dp/1521885354/ref=asap_bc?ie=UTF8

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