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The thing that scares me most is love. I'm scared because I love easily. I find someone I can connect to and within a week I feel love for that person. I've done this twice and both times that love was not returned. In fact the first time the other guy and I were planning to celebrate his birthday together. The day before I was to come over I tried texting him and he didn't reply as a matter of fact the message was never delivered. I then called his number and that's when my heart broke when the message said 'the number you are trying to dial is no longer in service' my heart felt like it had been ripped out of my chest. I cried, I didn't eat, I barely slept. I felt rejected and alone. Being bipolar this didn't do much for my mentality. So now when I go into a relationship I try not to get attached to people but it doesn't work. I'm not saying I'm easy to love, but I love easy. That's what scares me more than anything
Before I begin, I just want to let you all know I'm trying to keep this blog happy and positive, despite the turmoil I'm experience today.
In the summer of 2007, my family at the time had only one pet, a cat, named Shata. While she was mostly an indoors kitty, she did like to go outside every now and then. And since our neighborhood had other cats roaming the street, it wasn’t a surprise when we found out one day that she was pregnant.
Funnily enough, just the year before, my eldest sister had her first child, so I had some experience around pregnancy… but as it turned out, not enough. You see, when I found out that Shata was pregnant, I turned to my mom, and asked, “Will we have to wait 9 months for the kittens to be born?” Yes, I know, I was a pretty naïve kid back then. Anyways, after laughing a bit, my mom reassured me that the kittens will be here in a matter of weeks. And so, I eagerly awaited the day of the kittens’ birth.
Finally, on 19 July 2007, Shata gave birth. When I first looked at them, these tiny and blind bundles of fur, I knew I was a goner. I told my mom that I was excited to raise all of the kittens, but, my mom had to dampen my spirits. She told me we wouldn’t be able to afford raising them all- we’d have to give most of them away.
My family ended up keeping one, a white-furred male, and due to his coloring, my mother named him Guero- a Spanish word associated with the color white.
And so, my family had two kitties, Guero and his mother. But… one day, Shata went outside and… she never came back. We were devastated, my mother even more so, because Shata was her little princess. This event changed my family, from that day forth, we’d raise Guero (and all future kitties) as a housecat. That way, we’d never have to deal with the uncertainty that would come if they were to disappear.
Guero was, and continued to be, somewhat shy and timid. He’d hide away somewhere if he encountered someone new, and it would take him a while for him to warm up to a stranger. But, when he did warm up to someone, he or she better watch out! He’d come to you for pets and strokes, and he’d purr and shower you with affection as you do.
And, he knew he could give you a look or a meow to get what he’d want. (He had me wrapped around his little paw... lol) Case in point, when I had to study or work on an assignment late into the night, Guero would be outside my door, clawing at it while he gave the most pitiful meow imaginable- wanting to get in. I’d do my best to ignore him, and focus on my schoolwork. But, I would cave, and open the door, and Guero would rush into my bedroom, and rub up against my leg, and purr. Of course, I’d have to divide my time between studying and petting Guero, although he would have preferred if most of my time (if not all) was used to pet him, lol.
-The above is what I wrote before Guero died, and right now, I don't know how to complete this today, or for that matter, if I ever will be able to. I'll just end it here and say, Guero will always have a place in my heart.
Something came across my Facebook feed recently that I thought I should share here.
At last year's Toronto Pride parade there were issues that many of you are aware of. The end result of those issues had the Toronto Pride Committee banning uniformed police officers from participating in this year's Pride festivities. (I won't even get into the irony of Pride Toronto still expecting the police to be there as security for the event.) I have many acquaintances and friends who are either police officers, or have family members who are and I can tell you, Pride Toronto's decision hurt them deeply. There have been a lot of strides made for LGBTQ officers to be accepted, and this puts a stain on their accomplishments. I know there are issues still to be resolved in the LGBTQ community and law enforcement, but I've never found excluding a group solves anything, and generally only leads to polarized positions.
In response to Pride Toronto's decision a small group decided to spearhead their own celebration, in honour of first responders. The celebration, dubbed the First Responders Unity Festival is being held on June 25, 2017. I hope the festival is well attended, and these first responders enjoy a day meant to honour them and their fight for acceptance. After watching police officers in London racing towards the danger a day ago, I feel like they could use a little extra appreciation right now.
This is the powerful, touching story of a young gay man's struggles to survive, beginning as a child in the suburbs of Ohio,
then moving on to the bright lights and big city of New York. Throughout his journey of life, Nick Buchanan encounters some
difficult obstacles, painful hardships, and discovers the ins and outs of show business while trying to make it in an often exciting,
but sometimes devastating world.
After nearly giving up, Nick discovers a new sense of strength and resilience that comes from facing his fears, standing up to
prejudice, and learning what genuine love and respect for himself truly are.
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So I fell off with my blogging, obviously, but honestly it's for the best. The last few months were important, but would've been unpleasant to read about week by week.
To sum things up:
1) We've moved closer to campus, chopping fifty entire minutes off my commute, which has been game changing.
2) The "we" in question is the sort-of boyfriend I seemed so dead-set on breaking up with in my last entry. I'm not interested in hashing out exactly what all has happened, but it will suffice to say that we radically renegotiated our relationship: we're entirely open; I bear a lot less of the chores/finances/being an adult burden; and I get a lot more alone time. At first he had some issues, but now that I've gotten some distance and seem to be really into him sometimes, and now that he's had some side flings of his own, we are both very, very happy.
3) I was sober for a solid three months, dropped fifteen pounds, and now I'm letting alcohol back into my life, which I'm sure will backfire shortly enough, but for now it's under control.
In short, I can't believe how happy I am. It's weird how I always end up on GA just before making a bunch of life changes. I wonder why that is. I have some ideas, but I can't pin them down entirely.
One of my first acts after redefining my relationship with my non-boyfriend was to go on a complete fucking rampage. I can't believe how many guys I've been getting lately. It feels selfish, immature, and even irresponsible, but I really don't care. I've had nearly four years of suppressing monogamy, and what I've learned is that I really, really, really love guys. It's not just that I like men, it's that I like men in their plurality. I love how much variety there is among men. I would never be satisfied with just one, and as long as my sex drive holds out, I will never agree to monogamy again. I'm having the time of my life.
As a side note, I've also discovered that telling guys I'm on a rampage is a great pick-up line, for whatever reason. As soon as I explain that I'm on a rampage, they want in on it. I think to bottoms it implies a certain kind of sex, so they get all excited. I hope I'm not disappointing them
Tonight was a little sloppy though. Some surfer type guy (this is California) came over, and he was pretty attractive, and we watched most of a movie together before starting to cuddle. I gave him what I thought was really stellar head for a bit, really enjoying myself, and then before finishing, he asks me to cuddle naked with him. I strip to my underwear and we start cuddling. He mentions he's dizzy because he had a few shots earlier. I thought nothing of it until he got up suddenly and vomited powerfully into my sink.
The funny thing about that is that that was the second time those dishes had been vomited upon. One of my friends in the department lives in the same apartments and visits herself upon me sometimes, often after she's had an unclear amount to drink. A few nights ago, she came over, we were talking, and I was fucking around on my phone. I look up at her as she's talking, she casually turns her head to the side, projectile vomits, and then starts to talk to me again as if nothing had happened. I told another friend about it and she called it a "casual side-vom'," which I found funny.
I've gotten a student loan as a living cushion (I don't pay tuition and I get income as an instructor, so it's not so ridiculous), and I'm using part of it to finally get a professional wardrobe. That shopping trip hasn't occurred yet, but I did buy some cute boxer briefs online, and I'm using them as a weight loss incentive. I bought three wonderful pairs. One pair I'm allowed to wear now. Another pair I'm allowed to wear once my weight stays under 162. My favorite pair I'm allowed to wear once I get under 157, around which weight my abs re-emerge. I'm hoping this is a good dieting strategy.
Anyway, things are pretty awesome right now. I hope to keep blogging in the near future, and I hope you're all doing well.
Yes, it has been forever and a day since I added anything to the blog. I feel like one of those co-workers who leaves the office for a new job and promises on their mother's grave they'll stay in touch. Then you only see them when lightning strikes and you're in the same place at the same time and you swear once again you'll stay in touch, but in reality you know the demands of your job will never allow for it. That's a convoluted way of saying, sorry I've been so absent, but I've been crazy busy.
That said, I need to say thank you to GA and Caz Pedroso for nominating Chosen of Honorus for story of the month. Chosen of Honorus was the precursor to The Last Grand Master - the first book in the Champion of the Gods series that DSP Publications is publishing. It was/is the book that jump started my publishing career. I owe a big debt to GA for taking a chance on me and giving me the confidence to push out into the wide literary world.
There is a prequel to Chosen of Honorus - First Love - that is available on the DSP Publications site or you can find a link on my website. If you sign up for my monthly newsletter, there is a link in one of the welcome emails as well. If you want to sign up for my newsletter, you can use this link:
In addition, if you like Chosen of Honorus, there are now three more books in the series available from DSP Publication and the last book in the series will be released in 2018. Books 1-3 are also on sale now through the end of April. Here is a link to the sale page on my website:
Despite what I said above about being the co-worker who left, sometimes a little jolt reminds you of what you're missing. In my case, I realize how much I miss the people I met here. I think if I have time to socialize with fans on Facebook and Twitter, I can use some of that time to come here once a day too. I'm going to do my best to do that. That said, the new set up is going to take me some time to get used to so if I miss your comments, you can always email me - Andrew@andrewqgordon.com. I'm usually very good at responding to emails.
Thank you all again. It's humbling and flattering to realize people haven't forgotten you. It's a very good feeling.
PS In case you forgot what I look like or want to see a new picture of 'lil q (way more likely than wanting to see me) I'll post a few pictures in a few minutes. .
We might have done something insane. A suspect a lot of you might think so. We have made a mad, crazy, awesome, wonderful, expensive, fabulous, impulsive choice. Again.
Our little Goblin is currently 17 months old, gorgeous, blond, fluffy, blue-eyed, intent on digging in the dirt, playing with his brother Dashi, pointing excitedly at tractors, ‘helping’ water the garden, and getting to know the sheep and lambs at the farm.
So we thought we’d get him a sibling – a real human sibling (which in no way diminishes Dashi’s position as his only older brother).
Yes, we’re insane.
New Baby will be a blood relative of Goblin, and we will be accepting delivery of them sometime in mid August. Goblin will be 22 months old, we’ll have two in nappies, we won’t be sleeping, life will be harder, more expensive, and potentially more stressful.
Why on earth have we chosen to do this? I couldn’t tell you. We love being parents to our little man, neither of us would have life any other way now. So why not?
Sure, every now and then I have a split second desire of student life with clubs and loud music, louder outfits, and flirting with pretty boys. But then, I think the reason I look back so fondly, was because we were young, we’d just got together, and it was fun to be cute and desirable late at night in Brighton. I wouldn’t go back to that life for all the money, all the books, or all the pretty horses in the ‘verse.
I see dads and mums in the woods, by the beach, in town sometimes, with their gaggle and brood of children in different heights, chatting, squabbling, giggling, sharing ice cream, playing games – and I want that life. Our one boy is perfect and marvellous, but I want him to have siblings to fight with and play with. So here we go.
If I seem distracted, that’s why.
As last time, I am not prepared to talk, openly or privately, about the ins, outs, or specifics of how we are going about this, and we thank you in advance for your understanding.
So, anyone got any advice how to tell the Goblin he’s going to have an even smaller person in his life?
Recent events started me thinking. I have made many good friends online, both here at GA and elsewhere. I would worry if one of them went missing with no warning or explanation.
When SkinnyDragon found about his prognosis, he took the time, something he had precious little of, to fill us in.
I am one of those super organized people. After having to make the arrangements for both my parents, then my father in law, I decided that was something I didn't want my loved ones to have to deal with. When I got a diagnosis of cancer, one of the things I did was a visit to our families choice of funeral directors. We discussed what I wanted and put it all in a file "just in case".
My family is well aware of my membership here, but some would prefer to keep GA a more private part of their life. While speaking with Hugh, (yes we are on a first name basis, we have known each other since highschool) he asked what I thought at the time an odd question, if there were anyone my family might not know about that I would want notified in the event of my death. After discussing it, I gave him the info he needed to get to GA and one of the things he will do when the time comes is post a notice here.
Please friends, consider including info on contacting us in your "when I am gone" stuff. If you are in a position where you would prefer your family not know, reach out to someone you trust. It gives me peace of mind knowing I will not just go poof.
So, I was fumbling through my stuff, looking for the chip for a wireless mouse for my sister's new laptop when I stumbled upon loads of books I had when I was a 16 year old sausage.
One was filled with prototypes of my story Bffs with the occational weird fairytale-esque stories with talking cats and an angry little prince on rooftops escapades.
But one book hit the feels real hard.
I had kept one notebook filled with my inner feelings and angry thoughts;of those one would expect to see in a teen. The angry verses and hateful phrases were based on the struggles that my family and I experienced some time ago (tho most of my struggles were OF my family). Every page was filled with curses and thoughts of death to all mankind with the occasional sarcastic praise to God's cruel game. At first, I thought it was funny, then disturbing and then it really hit me hard.
The book was completely filled; with only a few more empty pages left. The last entry states my complaint on my seemingly lazy and useless siblings needing the most affection and attention.
With the last few pages left I thought I'd fill for the last time, my thoughts. But this time, instead of angry rants, I drew my conclusion. I simply hushed my former self and assured her that for all the years passed, things have finally gotten better. I assured her that she was capable of loving her family and that now, almost 6 years later, she does; and they her. And assured her that now she is working on a better future and is living comfortably with nice pretty things. I told her that she could now lay her anger to rest and she no longer have the need to despise God. All is well, and hopefully, the future will stay bright. I was finally able to sign the page with my true initials. I was at peace.
Around four pm, mini-cat became restless. She wandered around the house and followed me everywhere. Then around ten, she had her first contractions. The first kitten, a large black and white, was born at 11:15. Sadly Alpha was dead by the time it was finally born.
The second (Bravo) came an hour later. It was barely alive and we quickly cut the umbilical cord and rubbed it dry with a towel. For a short time, we thought we would lose it too, but it got stronger when we fed it with dry milk for kitten. Whew!
The third, Charlie, and fourth, Delta, came really quick. We had to cut the umbilical cord and rub it dry because mini-cat was busy with giving birth. After Delta mini-cat and her kitten went to sleep in one of three very cozy cardboard boxes and we slept on the couch beside her. You never know...
Around three am I woke up because Nox barked in the next room. He was thirsty. When we looked at mommy and the babies, we found a fifth baby, Echo, lying before the box, crying pitifully. Obviously, mini-cat secretly had another one and left it outside because the others started crying. So, once again, cutting the umbilical cord, rubbing it dry and back to mommy.
All is well so far, they are drinking and sleeping and mommy only leaves them to eat and drink. So cute.
We hope it stays well and nothing more happens. Fingers crossed.
I woke up this morning and Echo was really bad. On the way to the vet, but it doesn't look good.
You and I, we have a strong bond
Like brothers, like lovers;
We disgust the world with our vain perversions,
our inane attachment with the word and the seas of heresy
part at our command revealing the shells of untruths hiding
beneath the silt of social justice.
Ecstasy beyond judgement is what we share
in the binding fallacy of corporeal pain
battling to win over the spirit.
Our ascension begins at the alter of ego.
Broken down pieces of the mirror of self-hate, we tread
upon our steps to immortality. Morality, ethics, civility, higher power
are all suspended in space as dwindling starlights, reaching us
from the outer edges of cosmos.
You and I, we have a strong bond.
Like brothers, like lovers;
We step over millions of corpses to reach the quintessential truth, the poesy of nature.
When I see you talking to others I think of it as betrayal
When I see you smiling with others I question if you are loyal
When I see you moving on with life going roundabout your business
I feel I have been left out from it all in order to hide your menace
I know the wheels are turning
I know the fires are burning out
Emotions are condensing in big chunks of ice
And soon it won't suffice to tell you that I love you,
that the earth only blooms for you,
that my breath begins & ends with you
And soon you will leave me for the others who make you smile, who kiss
you behind my back, smell your hair, bend you over to the road of infidelity
And it drives me mad, mad like a ragging bull,
Like a substance user craving his previous high
I can't stand them making you smile
One of these days I will tell them of your lies
A song I like - and so it was also the first greek song I tried to sing in my favorite Greek restaurant. There exists a much different version in english, more like a nonsense /fun kids song.
Ακούστε την ιστορία του Κεμάλ
ενός νεαρού πρίγκιπα, της ανατολής
απόγονου του Σεβάχ του θαλασσινού,
που νόμισε ότι μπορεί να αλλάξει τον κόσμο.
αλλά πικρές οι βουλές του Αλλάχ
και σκοτεινές οι ψυχές των ανθρώπων.
Στης Ανατολής τα μέρη μια φορά και ένα καιρό
ήταν άδειο το κεμέρι, μουχλιασμένο το νερό
στη Μοσσούλη, τη Βασσόρα, στην παλιά τη χουρμαδιά
πικραμένα κλαίνε τώρα της ερήμου τα παιδιά.
Κι ένας νέος από σόι και γενιά βασιλική
αγροικάει το μοιρολόι και τραβάει κατά εκεί.
τον κοιτάν οι Βεδουίνοι με ματιά λυπητερή
κι όρκο στον Αλλάχ τους δίνει, πως θ’ αλλάξουν οι καιροί.
Σαν ακούσαν οι αρχόντοι του παιδιού την αφοβιά
ξεκινάν με λύκου δόντι και με λιονταριού προβιά
απ’ τον Τίγρη στον Ευφράτη, απ’ τη γη στον ουρανό
κυνηγάν τον αποστάτη να τον πιάσουν ζωντανό.
Πέφτουν πάνω του τα στίφη, σαν ακράτητα σκυλιά
και τον πάνε στο χαλίφη να του βάλει την θηλιά
μαύρο μέλι μαύρο γάλα ήπιε εκείνο το πρωί
πριν αφήσει στην κρεμάλα τη στερνή του την πνοή.
Με δύο γέρικες καμήλες μ’ ένα κόκκινο φαρί
στου παράδεισου τις πύλες ο προφήτης καρτερεί.
πάνε τώρα χέρι χέρι κι είναι γύρω συννεφιά
μα της Δαμασκού τ’ αστέρι τους κρατούσε συντροφιά.
Σ’ ένα μήνα σ’ ένα χρόνο βλέπουν μπρος τους τον Αλλάχ
που από τον ψηλό του θρόνο λέει στον άμυαλο Σεβάχ:
«νικημένο μου ξεφτέρι δεν αλλάζουν οι καιροί,
με φωτιά και με μαχαίρι πάντα ο κόσμος προχωρεί»
Hark to the story of Kemal
a young prince of the East
descendant of Sinbad the Sailor
who thought he could change the world.
But bitter is the will of Allah
and dark the souls of men.
In the lands of the East once upon a time
the purse was empty and the water stale.
In Mosul* and Bushehr* on the old coconut tree
the children of the desert now cry bitter tears.
And a young man of an old and royal line
hears the lament and grows near.
the Bedouins** look at him sadly
and he gives them an oath in Allah's name, that times will change.
When the lords heard of the lad's fearlessness
they set out with wolf's teeth and lion's skin
from Tigris*** to Euphrates***, from the earth to the heavens
they hunt for the deserter, to capture him alive.
The horde descends upon him like rabid dogs
and takes him to the Caliph to place the noose [on his neck]
black honey and black milk he drank that morning
before he breathed his last on the gallows.
The Prophet**** awaits before the Gates of Heaven
with two elderly camels and a red horse.
They now go hand in hand and it's cloudy
but the star of Damascus kept them company.
In a month and a year they see Allah before them
and from his high throne he says to the simple Sinbad:
"my beaten smart-aleck, times do not change,
the world always moves on by fire and blades"
Goodnight Kemal, this world will never change.
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Today Timothy M. reviews GA Author Diogenes' story, "About Carl" for our Gay Story Reviews blog site. He says, "The story takes you on the sad, but also beautiful and believable journey through Mark’s life..." Read more of his thoughts on the story in the review on GSR!
Watched this really amazing documentary on Netflix last night. I’m sometimes struck by how men who have spent so much time embedded in a war zone can afterward convey this sense of utter calm and inner peace even in the face of huge life obstacles. Nayyef conveys that sensibility in interview clips in this documentary, no matter whether his post-war life is despairing or joyful.
This documentary brings us an example of steadfast love between these two men through years of hardships. Although I was certainly aware of the taboo and dangers of homosexuality in Iraq, I didn’t realize until watching this film that the executions of gay men are largely carried out by civilians. As Btoo and Nayyef explain, there is no need for the government to act when civilians are all too ready to rid the country of the “problem.” All the government need do is nothing - do nothing to the executioners so as to allow the murders to continue.
The journey of these two men is quite extraordinary to watch and it is certainly touching to witness their reunion at the film’s end. It also put another real story to the impact and importance of the legalization of gay marriage. Although never pointed out in the film, because their commitment ceremony occurred in a natural timeline for them, the fact remains that it was only two months after marriage had been legalized in the U.S. What could be more like living a fairy tale than that to two boys who grew up gay in Iraq?
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I found this site initially back in 2004. I'd read a story on Nifty and an author said new chapters would first be posted here. I didn't join until 8 years later in 2012. Must have had other things on my mind like college and guys. I was only a member about 4 months before I joined the staff. I've really enjoyed being a staff member and serving in a number of roles the last 4 years. I've met some amazing people, built lifelong friendships, shed many tears at the loss of beloved members, and hopefully helped countless members and authors enjoy their experience here.
Lately I've had a lot less time to spend on the site. I've been trying to get my life back together for years now. As many of you know I struggle with anxiety and depression, which has only gotten worse the last several years. It's far easier for me to sit at home and interact with a website, than to force myself to go out and enjoy life. I decided in November that it was time to step down as an administrator and time to get serious about my future. I gave myself almost two months to make sure that this was the right decision for me, so today I'm announcing publicly that I'm resigning as an administrator.
The other site administrators have been amazingly supportive of my decision. They've seen first hand my struggles over the years and have shown me nothing but love and support. I'm honored to call them friends. I'm not vanishing entirely from the site, but I'll no longer be involved in administration or moderation functions after today.
In closing, I'd like to quote JSmith's resignation letter from a few years ago. I read it again today and one line really stuck out to me: "It's been a great journey, but it's time for me to move on with my life and see what else awaits."
All the best to each of you. It's time for me to see what else is out there.
*Posted With Permission*
Happy New Year Everyone
In the later part of 2016 I decided to self-publish my story Help! My Lover’s an Alien. I did a few corrections, and fixed a couple of consistency errors. Then, I added it to Amazon Paperback and Kindle (including KU) and as they wouldn’t let me post it for free I am giving all the money I receive from sales to a charity called Stonewall that supports LGBTQ youths in the UK and abroad. The current total is over £20 raised.
Please note, the story hasn’t been changed or expanded, this is not an ad trying to get you to buy anything.
But, I have a paperback copy of the book to giveaway to a GA member. I wanted to give something back to all the wonderful people on this site.
Here is a bit about the story –
Lor is an Elite Guard for his planet's ambassador, and they’re heading for Earth. He is not looking for his mate, but, when they arrive he finds him. What should he do? How does an alien court a human?
Dillon is a trainer for the military. All he wants is a man to love him for who he is. That's not too much to ask, is it?
Can two men from different species make a lasting relationship work?
**This is a story written for the Goodreads MM Romance Group, Love is an Open Road, DRitC Event**
As Amazon will not allow me to list this book for free all royalties will go to charities that support LBGT causes.
Paperback: 154 pages
Publisher: CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform (25 Aug. 2016)
Product Dimensions: 15.2 x 1 x 22.9 cm
A special thanks go to:
Cannd – For her wonderfull beta reading
alishead – For her great editing, and for her patience in answering my questionsmost of which usually started with, why?
All you have to do to be in with a chance of winning a paperback copy of this story is tell me:
What would you do if you met a real alien?
Terms and conditions
Entrants must be over eighteen due to book content.
Only one entry per person.
This competition is open worldwide.
You need to be willing to email me your address for me to send the book. Your details will not be used for any other purpose and will be deleted after receipt of the book is confirmed.
As already stated I have asked for and received permission from the site admin to post this contest.
The contest will end at midnight (GMT) Sunday 8th January 2017 and the winner will be announced on Monday 9th.
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The previews before Moana included one for Monster Truck. It's a simple premise really--monster trucks, with real monsters in them. B figured if that's all it took to get a movie greenlit, he aught to make a go of it himself. I'm not going to discourage him. If they can make a kids' movie about tentacle monsters getting freaky with 4x4s, then who am I to judge?
But, I should have known how the drive home would go...
"Hey, I have another story idea for you--monster trucks that have real monsters in them. But they're also gay. You may need to work in some kind of hook for your audience. Maybe the drivers are all werewolves, who are also gay."
And if that wasn't bad enough....
"Remember that one weird story you were telling me about where the one guy has a hemipenes?* Well, some trucks have hemis, so...."
So, keep a lookout for my next story, Must Love Trucks, an m/m/t** tale about a cute little twink who struggles with his affections for a hunky truck-driving alpha werewolf and the monster under his hood. Vroom, vroom!
(Still trying to figure out how to work in that hemipenes, though.)
*Yes, there is a m/m shifter erotica in which the bottom has two cocks. Don't ask me how that works.
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I was in a great relationship for a number of years however it went from good to worse My Ex Saskue I will call him because he likes naruto I do as well. Any way back on topic. I was 16 he was 15 we were both in high school and we didn't notice each other till I told people I was bisexual, a few people know I am How ever to this day my family is the hard part. Any way we met At yughio I'm serious people who read this will think that's funny but ya that's how me and Saskue met Going on we started to hang out and it went from there his foster mom hated me lilatry we hid our relationship from her but she found out and issues arose and it went from there I always told her the truth I tried to be on her good side but he also lied to her about us as well, I guess that what made her not trust me I will never know for she passed away in 2014 I think I could be wrong. Also She refused to believe he was gay at the the time he was bisexual, a few years in to our relationship he then stated that. We lasted four full years then another four in the 11 years we have know each other The first four were fine with ups and downs but the last four just say bitter. I still have feelings for him but not as much as I did back when I was younger we came back into contact after not talking for a year or so - what's weird we have others since then but I recently got ill over the holidays and he cares still for me even though we put each other through hell and I mean that literally from fighting to stealing to blackmail Any way The fact is I still like him he made me feel safe and when others buillied me he stood up for me I haven't asked him since if he still has feelings for me but it's hard when two different personalities crash with each other. Since 2006 I've been in five different relationships and most of them could have turned out different. I want others to know don't take what you have before it's too late. As of 2012 I've been in a relationship based online and i don't know what to do with it. I love the guy I haven't met him but we have talked via Facebook n Skype plus texting as well He lives in the states while I live in Canada I don't know how to deal any more I want to met but money is issue for both of us I don't know any more I'm a guy that falls in love easy and easy to get along with. The reason I feel for Saskue is we had a lot in common isn't that what makes a relationship to work out My point is to those people who fall in love easy make sure you know what you are getting in to and hopefully the right guy
I really didn't want to ruin anyone's festivities, so I thought I write it down. Be warned, I'm going to whine a little. Or a lot.
I'm really down today, all 3 kids are sick, I have a sinusitis and can't breathe at all through my nose.
My daughter (8yo) didn't want the presents she got. They pretend to get the gifts form the Baby Jesus, so I can't say, we would maybe buy something more expensive, but we can't afford it and we don't want to spoil them either.
Everybody is posting perfect pictures from the perfect family and the perfect dinner. I didn't manage to cook, we ordered all food, even the sweets.
I got a cool tool set from him, I like it very much. Very ladylike :-P
The gift for hubby didn't arrive on time, I had to improvise, I bought him socks. Can you imagine?
I'm depressed, I mean really, I checked twice that I took my meds, I quess tis the season for having a relapse :-(
Speaking of seasons:
First, I’m sorry if I caused any trouble on GA. That was never my intention.
No one wants to read about another person’s illness, so I’ll make this brief.
Last Tuesday morning I went to our emergency room due to strong abdominal pains. After a scan, the ER doctor told me I have stage 4 pancreatic cancer; it had already spread to my abdomen wall and into my liver. I’m a realist, and there is only one prognosis – which is obvious. It’s just a matter of how long.
The rest of the week was spent in a larger hospital on a ‘medical campus.’ During that time, I was mostly doped up and out of it. Only when I got home did my friends find and old laptop and connect it to our internet.
I check into the ‘cancer hospital’ of that medical campus on Wednesday morning for a final test and hopefully a realistic appraisal of how much time I have left. It’s the only question that means anything, yet is the one they don’t want to answer. I guess it interferes with their sales pitch or something.
I always thought cancer was something I didn’t have to worry about until I was older, especially this one. But it seems when you’re younger it is more common for it to be discovered in late stages because your body is strong enough to hide any symptoms.
I can only write when I’m in pain. Then I take my knockout drop and fade away. This blog entry was written in Word, over five cycles so I could post it now.
Thanks for all the good wishes sent my way, and thank-you to AC, who takes friendships seriously. OK, that's all I can write right now.
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My name is Valentine Davis. Even though I have been a member of Gay Authors since October I consider myself to be a rookie. I always believed that writing was the hardest part of being an author but actually writing a book isn't really that hard, the editing process is. It's also the most painful. You spend so long working on your baby and helping it grow and develop into this wonderful masterpiece and then people critique it and you go from to .
Even though I'm from Indiana (I'm currently living in Columbus, Indiana and I fucking hate it ) I've always felt that California was my real home. My mom and I moved in with my great uncles Brian and Butch (my real name is Brian and I am named after my uncle Brian) San Diego when I was three. My mom went to a community college there. When I was six we moved to Berkeley where she was a student at UC Berkeley. Scientist say that 3-6 is the age range where we develop the most-I could be wrong but if so I don't want to know because I'm a narcissist and don't like to be told I'm wrong-and I spent those years in California. It plays a huge part into who I am.
It was in California at the age of six, that I started to learn how to write. I started writing about Scooby Doo and Dragon Ball Z (I had a crush on Gohan and Piccolo and which there was more fan fiction on them as a couple) and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. My mom would edit my stories for me and I would take them to school so happy. And of course it hurt my feelings that no one else gave a shit.
My mom and I moved back to the mid west when I was nine and my life has been a downward spiral since. One of my big dreams is to move back to California, particularly the Bay Area. When I was in the fourth grade I started reading Stephen King and Anne Rice. I once got into an argument with my fifth grade home room teacher for reading Queen of the Damned. She said it had a bad cuss word in the title. I was trying to explain to her that the word Damned in the title wasn't the same thing has cursing at someone when they make you made or taking the Lord's name in vain. I figured surely that she would understand being an English teacher and all, but she wasn't having it. So I'm also a book worm, so sue me.
I recently just published my novel Immortui: Volume 1 through Createspace, an online company through Amazon. For all of you authors on here it is a great company to publish your novel through. You can publish everything for free and do it yourself, even convert it to eBook format for free or you can pay for professional services. I did everything myself including the editing and cover so as you can imagine it's a little on the rough side. I'm hoping some day once I get some money I can make a revised edition.
Have a good evening y'all
Oh and one more thing, you can also find me on Goodreads and Facebook.
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