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About this blog

A place to put my general thoughts.

Entries in this blog

Of Stalkers and Why Writing is Hard

There was a time I didn’t live in fear of creating. A time when, after I had finally managed to regain my childhood wonder for the art of art itself, I no longer felt the need to hide the ideas in my head. I wrote novels, I wrote short stories, I wrote… darkness and light. And I shared those stories with the world, or at least my own little corner of it. I loved being able to put those stories out there and have people read them, respond, tell me what they thought, whether they liked it or

Cynus

Cynus in Life

About the Authors

It's not you, it's me, or more accurately, it's us. At thirty-three, swiftly approaching thirty-four, I didn't think I'd be coming out about another thing ever again. There are some parts of my identity which have been kept very carefully from public view for the bulk of my life, and I had honestly grown so used to the idea of not addressing them that the thought of doing so had stopped crossing my mind years ago. Nevertheless, it seems my soul has other things in mind. We have DI

Cynus

Cynus in Mental Health

Rivers of the Dead: Oh look, a new book!

It's here, it's finally here! "Rivers of the Dead" looks amazing with its brand new cover and renovation to this new-fangled age of digital media. That's right, it's available as both a paperback and as an ebook, and here's four reasons why you should consider buying it:     1)    It's a story about love, about sacrifice and overcoming grief—it'll pull on your heart over and over again as you journey with Caleb as he journeys to The Underworld to reclaim his friend's soul.

Cynus

Cynus

I don't know what's going to happen

This was a message to my Patrons, which means there will be some information in here which will likely make no sense to you, but I wanted this to be known. This last weekend was hell. The only worse weekends I've ever had involved loved ones dying, just to give you a measure of perspective. Over the course of 48 hours, my already bad mood for the week (because the week was fairly shitty, too) went full depression.There's a lot going on, but I'm only going to tell you about the two things whic

Cynus

Cynus

The Message and the Muse

Writing has been difficult for the past year and a half. It's not from a shortage of ideas. I'm drowning in ideas right now, and I think if I could sell ideas I'd never have to work again. But I haven't been able to write most of these ideas myself. It's been a struggle ever since I finished "From the Cup of the Worthless". At first I thought it was because I was depressed, or that I'd started to overextend my use of similar themes. I managed to pump out "Fearless" really quickly, and I hoped

Cynus

Cynus

Gay Ex-Mormon Documentary: Latter-Day Glory

As an LGBT ex-Mormon, I couldn't help but feel immediately drawn to this documentary, Latter-Day Glory. You can learn more about it here: http://www.latterdayglorymovie.com/   It's currently in post-production, and will hopefully be released sometime next year. Here's a brief synopsis:   Jonathon Levi Powell, celebrity hair and makeup stylist, and Terry Blas, comic book artist and illustrator, both grew up in the Church of Latter Day Saints. While on a roadtrip journey of discovery, they’ll

Cynus

Cynus

Update On Where I've Been

All right, I think it's about time I sat down and gave everyone the full rundown of what happened. Over the past two and a half weeks I have lived a romance novel as deep and epic as anything I've ever written. I wouldn't have believed it if it hadn't happened to me, yet here I am, and oh what a story it is. It begins three years ago, before I found myself back in writing again. I was twenty-five, almost twenty-six, and trying to figure out what I wanted to do with the rest of my life.

Cynus

Cynus

Disconnecting

On October 30th, 2016, I will take the first true vacation from work I’ve had in five years. I specify it as a ‘true’ vacation because I became terribly sick during each of the times I’ve taken off prior to this one. I’m crossing my fingers that this doesn’t happen again.   I need a break, from work, from writing, from the internet; I need a break from everything, really. I need some time to reflect, for introspection and spiritual healing. Last year I heavily researched Samhain and discovered

Cynus

Cynus

Halloween Story Available On Amazon: Please Review

Hey everyone!   My story "Mask of the Hunter" is currently on sale on Amazon(Kindle) for $0.99 through Halloween! It's also available for free here at GayAuthors.org, but if you'd like to support my efforts in becoming noticed at Amazon, this would be a great way to do it. Every little bit helps my stats, and the stats help me sell my books to others who haven't yet had a chance to read it.   If you can't afford it or otherwise have something preventing you from purchasing it, but still wan

Cynus

Cynus

Update: My Health And Writing Status

Hello everyone,   Sorry the reviews have been a bit slow in coming, and sorry to anyone who is still waiting on a response from me. There have been a few developments in my life recently which have impacted these things, and I'm going to lay them out as quickly as possible (because writing hurts). Health Issues:   My years of typing and playing video games have caught up to me at last. I have developed carpal tunnel in both wrists, though it is worse in my right hand. Although I acquired Dra

Cynus

Cynus

I Feel . . .

The ellipses fits my frame of mind right now. It's as if my mind can't complete any of its thoughts properly. I'm constantly locked in this never-ending battle with my wayward brain. It's complicated, and it's starting to screw with me in ways I never thought would happen to me.   I can't write like this. At least, I can't write novels. I can probably still do a short story, possibly even a novella, but novels? It just isn't happening. I sit down, maybe get through a chapter, and then the thou

Cynus

Cynus

The Hello Project

I personally believe that the sickness in our society, the one which leads to the upwelling of depression, anxiety, violence, and bigotry, is rooted in the same cause for all symptoms. Terry Pratchett put it bluntly when he said, “Evil begins when you begin to treat people as things.”   Others have expressed the same sentiment in different ways. A famous saying, usually attributed to the current Dalai Lama, is “People were created to be loved, and things were created to be used. The reason

Cynus

Cynus

49 Celebrities Honor The 49 Pulse Victims

This video technically has a political agenda at the end, though it is not mentioned throughout. As such, I felt it improper to place it in the standard forums. I also didn't want to put it in The Pit, because I believe it should be a bit more visible. It's very powerful, and I hope you'll give it a view.  

Cynus

Cynus

No One Is Alone

No One Is Alone From the musical “Into The Woods” written by Stephen Sondheim Mother cannot guide you Now you're on your own Only me beside you Still, you're not alone No one is alone Truly No one is alone I wish... I know Mother isn't here now Wrong things, right things Who knows what she'd say? Who can say what's true? Nothing's quite so clear now Do things, fight things Feel you've lost your way? You decide, but You are not alone Believe me No one is alone (No one is a

Cynus

Cynus

Touching Base

This is something I wrote to my Patreon supporters, but I figured I'd seek some input here, too. Hello everyone! I'm writing to inform you of a number of things going on with my writing at the moment. First, I will soon be releasing another serial titled "Fearless". It's a shorter work, only 11 chapters long, and it was fun to write, though I'm not sure what the reaction will be from my readers. I wrote it differently than I've ever written anything else, and I'm curious to see how it will be

Cynus

Cynus

From The Cup Of The Worthless - Now Available On Kindle!

A short time ago, I received the cover art I'd commissioned for "From The Cup of The Worthless", and went ahead with my original plan of publishing it on Amazon. It's now available through Kindle, for anyone who would like a copy. For those unfamiliar with the story, here's a brief description:   Family isn’t only a matter of blood, and sometimes the only blood required is that shed in defense of those you consider family. In the world of organized crime, the family you belong to is everything

Cynus

Cynus

A Shallow Recess

I’m going to try and write this without sounding childish, but perhaps that’s unavoidable. I may, in fact, be completely out of line to write this at all, but I feel the need to vent my frustrations.   Over the past two and a half years, I’ve channeled nearly all of my free time into becoming a writer, and learning and striving to become the best one I could possibly be. Obviously that’s a work which will continue until I either die or decide to stop, as I can always improve. One doesn’

Cynus

Cynus

I Need Your Help With Something

Hello, everyone!   I'm preparing for a short story competition in a couple weeks, as well as a personal goal I'm setting for myself in February.   The short story competition follows a specific pattern, which I need to practice if I expect to do any good at it, and since the second and third stages of the competition happen in March and April, I intend to practice through all of February.   This year I will be doing something I'm calling "Flash Fiction February". I'm going to write a short

Cynus

Cynus

Withdrawing The Anchor

My heart was broken yesterday.   Does that sound a tad cliche?   Perhaps it is, but not to me,   For now my love will never be.   But in the silence of the night,   I contemplate my common plight,   And now, quite plainly, I can see,   That in the breaking, I am free.   Yesterday, I learned something about a friend of mine. She is in love with someone; a person whom I do not know, but who has been in her life for some time. There was

Cynus

Cynus

The Nature Of Success - A Discussion With Myself

Disclaimer: This will be depressing. Read at your own peril.   How do I define success?   This seems to be the question of the decade for me. I don't know if I've been successful in my life. My instinct is to say I haven't been, but maybe I am? If success is having financial security, then I definitely have not been successful yet. If success is reaching a position of power, then no again. A position of influence perhaps? Yes, I have some small amount of influence on the world, so in that I

Cynus

Cynus

Kung Fu And The Art Of Living

I shared this quote on the "Inspirational Quotes" forum a short while ago, and it was brought to my mind again in response to several of the comments on my last blog posting:   "If you one day make it back to the West, what will you tell men of this strange word, 'kung fu'? Will you tell them that it means to fight? Or will you say like a monk from Shaolin to summon the spirit of the crane and the tiger? Kung Fu. It means, 'supreme skill from hard work.' A great poet has reached kung fu. The p

Cynus

Cynus

Regarding Depression And The State Of The World.

I received a message from someone who read my last blog entry, "Social Anxiety and Crying Wolf", and who thanked me for sharing my experience, as it related to their own. This was the second of two messages that addressed the same subject, and I don't know what came over me as I was responding, but the words flowed like magic, and I just wanted to share my response with you now. I hope it's not too forward.   Thank you for the message. I remember watching a video a couple of years ago about

Cynus

Cynus

Social Anxiety And Crying Wolf

I have some significant issues. I think most people have one or two, but are able to keep them in check. Over the past few months it hasn’t been as easy for me to do the same with my issues. They keep sneaking up on me at inopportune times and trying to take me down. Every once in a while, they succeed. I wouldn’t be surprised if people thought I was nothing more than a spoiled child seeking attention. Every now and then my social anxiety gets the better of me, and I overreact, and I star

Cynus

Cynus

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