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Old Greg

kinda scared to join my school's Gay Straight Alliance

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Ok, so today my school's gsa has its first meeting of the new school year, and i kinda want to go, but im not sure if i should for a few reasons. First off, my dads not exactly accepting of gays ( Posted Image ) and would flip if he knew what i was staying after school for. Im pretty sure i can get off on that by telling him its some sort of school spirit club or something or that im just staying after school to do homework or something, he wouldnt question that i dont think. **crosses fingers**

Another reason im nervous about joining is i dont want anyone questioning whether im gay or not. Im not out at all really, only to 3 people, and I dont want anyone suspicious till Im ready to tell people. Also, my brother is a freshman this year too, so thats another risk for me to join. Getting a ride isnt a problem right now, cuz my dad picks me up every day for now.

So anyways, I dont know if I should try it or if i should wait until a later date and a few suggestions on what to do would be great. Posted Image

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PWP There is truth to the saying that there is safety in numbers, however you need to balance that against the possible implications of being 'outed' by being a member of the GSA. I appreciate the difficult position you're in at the moment. How do you think you're brother would react now that he's in your school ? Is there no possibility of your father becoming accepting. Another thing to bear in mind, do you really want to go down the route of lying to your family over what you are doing.

 

I wish you well, and hope you manage to resolve your conundrum :hug:

 

Mike

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It all comes down to having to trust in your gut. if you really feal it could create serious problems not only at school but also in your home life then it may not be a risk your ready to take quite yet. however that being said i truly enjoy being a part of my schools GSA and we havent had a real problem with other members being outed, the other members are pretty cool about it, and it does give a sense of support but if your not truly ready to take that kind of leap then it may be best to wait and think on it a little. remember its not going anywhere and you should be able to join at any time in the future.

Edited by LemonFresh
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Think closely of the consequences of lying to your family about what you are doing and where, because that can seriously bite you in the ass later on. Not admitting your sexuality is one thing, actively lying about where you are going, especially to a GSA is another. Should your parents find out, it would be hard to put it off as just you being straight and joining to support the gay students in school. How small is your school? Would your brother be likely to hear about you going to the meetings? Is he a squealer? What would your dad's reaction be? Are you in any danger of being kicked out?

 

Only you can answer those questions, and decide if it is worth it. Just think through everything carefully first.

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Search your feelings.

 

You have always been there.

 

It is simply a matter of the body catching up with where the mind has already gone.

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thanks for all the advice everyone :) i ended up trying it out, although it was very small. I liked it so far, but im not sure how long i can go without my dad finding out about it, so far all he knows is that i was at an anti bullying thing, i didnt want to lie really so i gave him a partial truth cuz in a way thats what it is :D and my brother i doubt would find out about me being there and even if he did i doubt hed care but im not sure and im also not sure i want to risk it, but ill just have to see if its worth the risk. Also, Cia, to answer your specific questions in order: around 2000, maybe but not really, i dont think so but i cant be 100% sure, it would be very very bad, and probably :( tho one thing i have going for me is that my dad is highly socially ignorant and that can be helpful to me in many ways when it comes to things like this, but anyways, thank you all, i hope that ill be able to stay in the gsa :)

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Joining the GSA doesn't mean you are gay, right? It is the G STRAIGHT A. So you can be straight and join it. You could just say to your brother or father that you are for equal rights for everyone and that is why you joined. They might ask you if you are gay and you could then say 1) I'm not sure 2) I'm not ready to discuss this with anyone now 3) No, (even thought you think the right answer is yes) but maybe you aren't gay and bi instead 4) You could just tell them that you are gay.

 

If you picked 4, there are a lot of good things that can come of it. You would not be living a lie. You wouldn't have to make up lies all the time. Since everyone (as far as you are concerned) know you are gay now, all the gay boys would know and you would have more interactions with a lot more "like mined friends". I think that that would be a very good thing for you.

 

Let's say you bit the bullet and came out to your family. What is the worse thing that could happen? Do you really think that you father would be unhappy enough to throw you out? He really can't do that without getting into trouble with the law. He might be really unhappy for a while but I am sure that he would get over it eventually. He would have to deal with a gay son. You would have to help him through that. I don't think it would happen but he could be so upset that he could say some very hurtful things. You just have to let that kind of talk roll off your back and don't take it to heart. Deal with it in a calm, cool collected way. Explain what you can and don't yell even if you are yelled at. It could be difficult but he would be dealing with the real you and I would bet that he would deep down have respect for you because of the fact you did come out.

 

Any bad vibes that could happen in school would thicken your armour and believe me, you would be helping not just yourself but all the closet cases and the whole gay community.

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I wouldnt attend untill you can accept the possibility that word could get out. I went to my first GSA in freshman year and i now attend several with collages and my highschool. But that aside, the ONLY thing i regret about being gay is not coming out sooner. I thought my parents would kill me. Their Catholic conservatives raised in strict families but they were both completely excepting, my mom even attended pride with me. Your parents love you, being gay wont change annything, it will take an adjustment yes but in the end your ties will be stronger (:

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My college had some form of GSA but I always regretted not going because I didn't check out what they were about

college GSA is an alternative to HS if you go to a college thats far away from your home

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There are a lot of threads here that deal with coming out, but there are two things that always stuck in my mind.  The first is that it's up to YOU if and when you decide to come out.  The second is that you should weigh those decisions carefully, considering how your parents would react.  If you think your father may be unreasonable, and throw you out, don't do it.  If you're dependent on them for support, that may be a problem.  

 

Your profile says you're 18, and it sounds like you're in high school.  That pegs you as a senior.  In nine months, you'll be away at college, or if you don't do that, then you should be working.  Either way, you'll be away from your parents and their direct influence.  You may want to wait to explore GSAs until you're in college.  

Edited by Mark Arbour

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The point of the club is to be open about being gay and how that reflects with straight people (thats an assumption based on the name). Maybe its best of you don't join it until your ready to 'come out' because I think that your expected to be open and to talk about it openly...perhaps you should go up to a memeber who you know is gay and discuss it with them? I'm sure they'd be alright talking about that kind of thing and giving a hand

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It's called a Gay *STRAIGHT* Alliance. Outsiders should never make assumptions about members' orientation. If your dad finds out, just tell him "I want to keep an open mind, that's all."

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