Exposing yourself in text

[JamesSavik]

When you write, do you ever feel self conscious about it?

 

Do you feel like maybe you are giving away too much?

 

People go through all sorts of changes in their life. If you are the same person at 20,30 and 40, you are doing it wrong.

 

Do you feel like there are lines that shouldn't be crossed?

 

Can you go too far?

 

Maybe you should.

 

[William King]

 

When you write, do you ever feel self conscious about it?

No, never. I'm not writing with other people in mind, I'm telling a story, my story, the one in my head. Anyway, readers, if there are any, are anonymous. They don't know me, and probably don't care. They are into the story or not, that's about it. It's not even ships passing in the night, because I've written it, and who knows when they might be reading it. I might be dead when it's read!

 

Do you feel like maybe you are giving away too much?

The opposite. More often I feel like I'm holding back from telling it like it is, because it might hurt people's sensibilities or alienate the reader. I guess that's a contradiction when I told you I don't have other people in mind. I do, you see, want what I write published - and read. Otherwise, it would be like talking to yourself, so I hold back.

 

People go through all sorts of changes in their life. If you are the same person at 20,30 and 40, you are doing it wrong.

Doing what wrong, writing or living? You might write crap, but you can't be living right or wrong, you're simply living! And, nobody is the same when you get older, apart from physically, you hopefully, have more experience and a little more wisdom. For example, at twenty I used to worry about what other people might think (about me), now I'm much older, I don't really give a shit.

 

Do you feel like there are lines that shouldn't be crossed?

No, no, and no again. Lines are arbitrarily drawn in the sand, they are there to be challenged, crossed, and done away with. I hate lines. Lines confine us, and put us in boxes. Cross the lines, breakdown the walls, cry freedom! 

 

Can you go too far?

You probably can go too far for your time and place. You would be going too far right now to be openly gay in Chechnya, and possibly Russia,  plus a number of other countries around the world. So yes, you can go too far, and end up dead.

 

Write from the heart, write the truth, and never apologise for It! 

 

[Ron]

3 hours ago, William King said:

Write from the heart, write the truth, and never apologise for It!

...and use a pseudonym when you feel like writing something beyond merely racy.

[Mikiesboy]

When you write, do you ever feel self conscious about it?  

 

Not usually. The only time is if i'm writing a sex scene. Then I feel weird when I'm doing that, but not when someone reads it. Having been a sex worker for a long time you'd think it wouldn't bother me, but it does. 

 

Do you feel like maybe you are giving away too much?

 

Again, no I don't. I write what i feel is right for the story i want to tell. The story is the reason, it's more important than my feelings.

 

People go through all sorts of changes in their life. If you are the same person at 20,30 and 40, you are doing it wrong.

That's hard to answer. I don't think you can answer that really. At least not in general. People will change as they experience things and some will learn, others not so much. 

 

Do you feel like there are lines that shouldn't be crossed?

I think there are lines to be tip-toed over. I think you need to think about what you're doing, and what could happen.  I think some rules need to be respected. Such as a site's guidelines. If you don't agree with them, write what you want but post elsewhere.  People go to places because they feel good there and safe. Reader's don't like being slapped in the face just for author's egos. 

 

Can you go too far?

Possibly. See above. I think you can write any story but, if warnings are required by the site, then you should put them on.  If they say you can't post, A, B, and C.. post it where it's allowed. 

 

Maybe you should.

 

I think you should try different things. So many just write the same story over and over, new places and names but there is nothing new.. the story concepts are the same.. two guys fall in love, have a few problems but then live HEA. Try something new. 

 

This was fun, James!  Thanks!

 

tim

 

[Headstall]

When you write, do you ever feel self conscious about it?

 

Hell, no. There is such a freedom to writing... why would I not embrace that. I admit, my first few sex scenes, I was apprehensive. Not while I wrote them... not at all. They pretty much flowed out. I was concerned with how they would be received, is all. It's a hump I got over quickly. I'm an unapologetic romantic, so yeah, I delve into feelings and emotions. I have no qualms about portraying men as I am, and if comes across to some as sappy, or mushy, so be it. If someone doesn't like it, move on. 

 

 

Do you feel like maybe you are giving away too much?

 

No again. There are parts of me in many of my characters, and I believe that's what makes them live on the page. But, I am not writing me. I write stories that I create in my head... ones that interest me... so, there is nothing to give away. What you see is my imagination, and there are no limits to that, not for any of us, I presume.

 

 

People go through all sorts of changes in their life. If you are the same person at 20,30 and 40, you are doing it wrong.

 

I get what you mean. Ideally, we grow as we get older, yet I am much the same person I was as a twenty-year-old. Personally, I would never want to feel like I'm stagnating, but at the same time, I don't ever want to change just for the sake of it. It's all about being comfortable in your own skin, and I pretty much am, warts, mistakes, and all.

 

Do you feel like there are lines that shouldn't be crossed?

 

Absolutely. I will only speak for myself, but I never want to offend anyone, intentionally or otherwise. I dislike when people hide behind being 'provocative' to explain away something hurtful. Basically, if something is against the law, it's probably crossing the line, as least to some degree. 'Consenting adults' is the key for what is acceptable to me. If, for example, rape is depicted in a favorable light, it crosses my line. As far as a general approach to writing, I see nothing wrong with pushing boundaries if that's your thing. Just warn ahead of time so readers can choose to avoid something they may find uncomfortable. There's lots of stuff I don't care to read, but that doesn't mean I think it's wrong. It's just not for me. 

 

Can you go too far?

 

I don't see a lot of difference between this question and the former. Yes, you can go too far. If a writer has any doubts about their own work, they should solicit another opinion. Sometimes a scene will work in one context, colored a certain way, yet not in another. Continuous, over-the-top drama, for example, is offensive in it's own right  I have left a few decent stories, shaking my head, wondering what the hell the author was thinking, and why did they go there?

 

 

Maybe you should.

 

Sure, if you want to shock or wreak havoc  . I'm all for being a trailblazer/provocateur if that floats your boat. I just want to tell stories that people can relate to or escape to. I like there to be underlying social comments in my work, but I don't want those to be center stage. I write M/M romance and poetry, and I want readers to feel something when they read my stuff... I don't want to reinvent the wheel.

 

tim (Mikiesboy) was right, James. This was a lot of fun. Thank you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[William King]

@jamessavik And you James - how would you answer you own questions? I would be interested to read your reply...

[JamesSavik]

When you write, do you ever feel self conscious about it?

 

I write personal experience and that gets pretty intense sometimes. I stalled on my story Broken because it was about to get very messy. I've talked to some people about the next chapters and heard good arguments about going forward or calling it quits. That's not the only other story I got cold feet about. Like I alluded to, I've changed with age and not the same person I was. 

 

This weeks writing prompt (573) got me thinking hard about this question:

 

Prompt #573 Most people seen Tommy and said he was nothing but trouble. You seen Tommy and called him a friend. At least until Tommy brought a world of trouble to your door, begging for help. What do you do?

 

I made this comment on Renee's Blog:

 

Quote

 

 

Tommy huh. How did you know? Does everybody have a bad boy in their past named Tommy?

 

I'm not even sure I can write it.  It'll read like a Greek tragedy. 
 

 

 

 

It's easy to write yourself as the hero of a story. Writing yourself as a villain- now that's hard.

 

Do you feel like maybe you are giving away too much?

 

Feels like it. I've had some darkness in my past.

 

People go through all sorts of changes in their life. If you are the same person at 20,30 and 40, you are doing it wrong.

 

I was an asshole at various points in my life and acted the part. I'm not sure I want to proclaim that I was an asshole, did the wrong thing or, was at times, a coward.

 

Do you feel like there are lines that shouldn't be crossed?

 

Yes there are. You won't find me writing any romances between a young man and his horse.

 

I've got no problems following GA's guidelines.

 

Maybe you should.

 

Perhaps. I'm still thinking about it.

 

 

 

Edited April 26, 2017 by jamessavik
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[metajinx]

When you write, do you ever feel self conscious about it?

I did, but that's what the internet is for. I didn't have to look into people's faces after they read what I wrote, and I stopped being self-conscious. I still get twitchy when I publish something to a broader audience, though. Or if actual friends read my stuff. But it's more "female being nervous about attracting too much attention"-self-consciousness than "oh god they can see through me".

 

Do you feel like maybe you are giving away too much?

Nope. I chose a genre where I'm as far away from my normal life as possible, and where I can show the parts of me that I actually want people to see. Also: Alias. What slips through all those security measures is supposed to be read/heard.

 

Do you feel like there are lines that shouldn't be crossed?

Yes. Many, many lines. One of them for me: Ugly minds should never be depicted as desirable.

 

Can you go too far?

Yes, but that's common sense. Moderation is everything, always.

[AK79]

When you write, do you ever feel self conscious about it?

 

Not any more than I'm self-conscious about the thoughts that pass through my own head.  I know I only have a few works posted now but I want to change that over time, but I've never felt self-conscious about it apart from revealing that my technical execution of the English language is probably sub-par.

 

In fiction I try to avoid writing myself into the story.  The character ends up being a Gary Stu--always.

 

Do you feel like maybe you are giving away too much?

 

No.  If I did I would either edit the part out that was bothering me or simply not post it.  I've written quite a bit over the years, and published almost none of it.  If I'm uncomfortable sharing something I've written I simply don't publish it.

 

Most of what I've written though is in long hand, and I have instructions in my will to have all works that I've not published to be burned.

 

Do you feel like there are lines that shouldn't be crossed?

 

Yes,  Those are covered by the terms of this website.

 

Can you go too far?

 

This question is redundant.

[robertlee]

When you write, do you ever feel self conscious about it?  

I will be honest with this question, sometimes yes and it's for one, and only one, reason. My editor is my mother who is a published author. Being gay and writing gay fiction while having your mother edit it is a definitely interesting experience to say the least. Sometimes when I write something and then read it I think "my mother would judge me for that" but I still leave it in the story. In the back of my mind I'm constantly thinking about what she must think when she reads any of my stories.

 

Do you feel like maybe you are giving away too much?

No I don't think so. I write most from experience and being able to share that in a fun way feels great to me. It helps get things off my chest too sometimes when I need a release from life.

 

People go through all sorts of changes in their life. If you are the same person at 20,30 and 40, you are doing it wrong.

I feel like I'm a very similar person to who I was years past. Each year that passes I try and make myself a better version of who I was before. I'm still me but more refined for lack of a better word.

 

Do you feel like there are lines that shouldn't be crossed?

I think the purpose of many forms of writing is to push boundaries and cross the lines society has drawn. Being gay already is crossing lines that have been made for the world so I think our writings should cross those lines too. Don't get me wrong, you can go too far and get into a preachy area and an area that hurts the writing.

 

Can you go too far?

Like I said above, you can go too far if the art suffers from what you're doing.

 

Maybe you should.

You could be right.

 

Thanks for these questions/topics. It was fun responding to them and seeing what everyone else had to say too. We all have differing answers and personalities on this site and it's cool seeing open discussion and conversation about things!

[Wicked Witch]

When you write, do you ever feel self conscious about it?

Very much yes. I'm awfully insecure. I absolutely love the worlds I create in my head. Sometimes, they are almost as real as reality. When I dream, I can see the characters and picture the worlds, and I imagine them living their lives. So, they're precious to me. And especially when I get tired or I get ill or I write something really personal, I can get very self conscious about what people will think of my worlds. The writing? I know it is imperfect, and art is inherently subjective. But the characters and the world? I really want people to love them as much as I do, and they don't always, and that is difficult.

 

Do you feel like maybe you are giving away too much?

Rarely. I find it very difficult to write about myself or things thare familiar to my real life. So maybe that is why I write so much fantasy and sci-fi? I don't know.

 

People go through all sorts of changes in their life. If you are the same person at 20,30 and 40, you are doing it wrong.

I guess I still have to find that out! I would definitely say I'm different to the person I was 2 years ago. But I'm not sure if that will stabilise now or not.

 

Do you feel like there are lines that shouldn't be crossed?

Some of them yes. Nothing frustrates me more than lines for the sake of lines. They constrain our creativity and our society in general. But some lines are also there for a reason, because they protect people from being hurt, especially in the context of writing emotionally. I don't like the excuse of pushing boundaries or being 'provocative' or 'experimental' when artists, both writers and other types, do things that no reasonable person could see as anything but hurtful. 

 

Can you go too far?

Everyone can at times, I think.

 

Maybe you should. 

Or maybe you shouldn't. It really depends what your lines are, and how reasonable they are.

[Jason Rimbaud]

When you write, do you ever feel self conscious about it?

I have always been fearless in my writing.  Especially in my poetry, which is scattered here and there around the web.  Though I'm not sure I have any posted at GA anymore.  But I had always written what I want and rarely think about what others might like or object.  I rarely censor myself and when I do, its because I feel what I have written doesn't support the narrative or is repeating something stated earlier.  I once wrote a piece from the view point of a serial killer, it was rather graphic and some called it disturbing.  On another site years ago there was much debate on whether the moderator of the site should remove it.  I was rather happy that he rated it and posted it anyway.  I've always felt that if you are offended by something you read, don't read it, it probably wasn't meant for you.

 

Do you feel like maybe you are giving away too much?

I have never worried about what I share or what I don't.  If anyone has read my Blog, then you know I tend to spew out on the screen whatever pops into my little head with little regard for what others think.  I give away exactly what I want and haven't found the line I won't cross.

 

People go through all sorts of changes in their life. If you are the same person at 20,30 and 40, you are doing it wrong.

I think only psychopaths and mentally disturbed people stay the same throughout their life.  It is almost impossible for a well adjusted human to stay the same as experiences alone will change your point of view.  Though I do fear for the future as I have witnessed that a large portion of our country only read, listen, watch those that have the exact same view as theirs.  The only way to grow and change as humans, is to have our beliefs tested.  This allows us to adjust, reconfigure, and reinforce our beliefs.  I often listen to those that I disagree with if only to understand their point of view and to check that my belief is correct.  In the same vein, I rarely listen to those sources that I completely agree with, that just reinforces my theories, and I find it hard to grow as a human if I am never tested.

 

Do you feel like there are lines that shouldn't be crossed?

The anarchist inside me says no!  But you should always know your audience.  GA might not be the place to post writings that don't fit into their guidelines.  Does that mean you should try to push the envelope here?  I have never been one for censorship, and while I don't agree with many of GA's writing guidelines, I have never broken them out of respect for the owner/operator.  

There is a trend going across America at the moment that I find repulsive, especially in our colleges.  If someone has radical ideas, campuses are banning them, afraid that the students might be offended.  Professors around the country are getting into trouble because they might not remember all the self identity terms that have risen over the years.  All this fear of offense I believe is actually damaging to the growth of humans.  If you are offended by something than stop watching/reading/listening.  I've never been one to push my views on others.  I don't enjoy reading stories where the main characters are under 17 years old, especially when sex is involved.  I find that disturbing on many levels. And how do I deal with that?  Do I try and get those stories banned or removed?  Nope, I just don't read them.  

Pushing boundaries is what gave us the Civil Rights movement, the freedom that gays can get married and can't get fired because of sexual preferences.  So lines should be questioned, pushed when they need to be, and respected when it is either right or doesn't really affect others.

 

Can you go too far?

When your goal is to incite, and to cause others harm, there is a place called too far.  When your goal is to better all humanity, there is a place called too far.  Because in both of those instances, you are trying to push your views onto other people despite what they want.  I understand why Republicans tend to disagree with Democrat, DNC believes they know what is best for everyone, while the RNC tends to overlook the plights of others.  While these are extremes to make this argument, both sides tend to go to far as most of American's fall into the middle having traits of both parties.  It is the same for writers, those that write certain literature for the express purpose to incite others to violence, it might be too far.  While censorship in any form might be going to far.  Its okay to have your beliefs challenged, and getting offended is not bad.  It is how you handle getting offended that is the real truth.  Love and respect others, allow others to make mistakes and grow at their own pace.  Help each other and most importantly, mind your own business most of the time and you'll never find yourself too far in any direction.

 

 

[Former Member]

When you write, do you ever feel self conscious about it?

 

Sometimes. There is a certain feeling of vulnerability in sharing your art with others. I used to feel really self conscious about my writing when I was younger and I oftenly censored myself because I didn't want ppl to see my sick twisted little mind. But I think I kinda surpassed that, at least somewhat. Being anonymous on the internet helps. I try and remind myself that its not really worth dwelling to much on what what other people think.

 

Do you feel like maybe you are giving away too much?

 

Again sometimes. It is quite easy to learn something about a person from their writing if you only look for it. Of course it depends on what type of a story it is and it varies from person to person.

But usually I think that its worth it. In order to receive you must give. Writing from emotion and being vulnerable can create amassing art. It creates a connection on a deeper level between the reader and a writer. And it gives the story a certain uniqueness. Like when you learn something about lives of famous authors you see their stories in a new light and you can see the personal connections with their art. I felt way more emotional about reading Kafka after I learned about his life and his abusive father. It put a lot of things in context and made his stories even more tragic in a certain sense because you could see the real man behind all the weird and abstract.

I believe that art is just another form of communication. Some people use writing as therapy, which is really fascinating to me. Its kinda like dreaming. Our brain creates scenarios in which we can test our reactions and practice for real life. I think a lot of writers do this too, whether or not they're aware of it. It is also an exercise in empathy. You can write a character that you would find disgusting in real life and relate to them on a very deep level. It makes you question people around you, makes you wonder what their internal monologue looks like and why they say and do certain things.

idk where I was going with this...next!

 

People go through all sorts of changes in their life. If you are the same person at 20,30 and 40, you are doing it wrong.

 

Is that a question? This is really subjective. What is a right and a wrong way to live. Sometimes change isn't always for the better. Sometimes ppl change for the worse and destroy their lives and cause harm to others. Would that be more right than staying the same? Change for changes sake is not really what life is all about. But yeah its usually a good thing when ppl grow and mature and all that shit. Though you're not always in the right just because you're older. This really annoys me (from real life), ppl thinking they know better just because they're older than me. I'm all for hearing ppl out and all of that, but when somebody starts lecturing you about something they clearly know nothing about and think you're an idiot just because you're young I wanna choke a bitch!

Sorry...rambling again...I do that a lot

 

Do you feel like there are lines that shouldn't be crossed? Can you go too far?

 

Hmm idk... Well I guess. But as long as you're not hurting anyone I think you're good. Doesn't mean ppl are gonna like it, they might hate it. But that doesn't mean you should pander to them. If you don't like it, don't read it. I don't think its right to censor ppl. Somebody above already talked about this and I think they said it way better than me so Ill just leave it at that.

But lets get more personal. I do have lines I don't wanna cross, because I don't want too. But that being said I already crossed a lot of lines...  My mind is a fucked up place and sometimes you gotta let em demons loose! A crazy idea pops into my head every now and again (and by that I mean all the time) but I'm not impulsive (or fast enough) to do all of them. So I sift through and way them and pick what I like and what fits. And sometimes my mind comes up with something so fucked up that I just have to do it! Like in one of my stories (that I haven't written yet and even if I did I couldn't post it here) the main character (underage, around 14) gets raped by his father, he's married to his sister who tries to murder one of her children (that is a product of rape by some other guy) and his mother made him disembowel a dog when he was a little kid in some weird ritual.

I oftenly wonder wtfs wrong with me too...

Like what does this say about me? What would ppl think? Would they think I'm crazy? Would they think I'm a sadistic pedophile? Would they think I have daddy issues? I mean I am not even sure what that says about me! Shit just happens! The story just gets outta hand!

 

Wow these questions could be applied to my answers too... Do you feel self conscious? Yes! Do you feel like maybe you are giving away too much? Yes!

 

Maybe you should.

 

Maybe...maybe not...

I'm not doing scat, damn it!

[Brayon]

When you write, do you ever feel self conscious about it?

Yes, and No. The only time I do is when I'm writing at the table in the dining room. The members of my family, I'm living with are straight, and when I'm out there, and they ask, what am I writing about, telling them it's Gay Fiction makes it feel weird.

 

Do you feel like maybe you are giving away too much?

Nope. It's the opposite. I feel like I'm not investing as much as I should at times.

 

People go through all sorts of changes in their life. If you are the same person at 20,30 and 40, you are doing it wrong.

Experience is everything. Like a meme, I saw the other day said, "I read, and play role-playing and video games, not because I have 'no life,' but because I choose to have more than one." These add experience one can draw from, like any other life lesson.

 

Do you feel like there are lines that shouldn't be crossed?

I don't. "Question with boldness even the existence of a God; because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason, than that of blind-folded fear." - Thomas Jefferson. Question everything, write about it. Even "taboo" subjects need to be discussed, and brought into the light of day. HOW you discuss such subjects, is up for debate, but nothing should be off the table.

 

Can you go too far?

You can. Gotta know who your audience is, and approach it in a manner that doesn't turn people off. Might be contrary to the last question, but writing about a subject, Rape for Example, in a way that makes people feel uncomfortable, would be too far.

 

Maybe you should.

Expanding one's boundaries is always fun.