Corrupt A Wish

[drpaladin]

23 minutes ago, Valkyrie said:

Granted.  I wish JayT would have a five hour work day, four days a week and a giant steak for dinner.  

Granted. But with shorter hours he's put on hourly wage. The one steak is the only meal he can afford this month.

 

I wish GA would stop making me sign back in every 10-15 minutes.

[Valkyrie]

Just now, drpaladin said:

Granted. But with shorter hours he's put on hourly wage. The one steak is the only meal he can afford this month.

 

I wish GA would stop making me sign back in every 10-15 minutes.

Granted.  You now have to sign in every two minutes. 

 

I wish my laundry would hang itself up. 

[drpaladin]

1 minute ago, Valkyrie said:

Granted.  You now have to sign in every two minutes. 

 

I wish my laundry would hang itself up. 

Granted. But it also undresses you at the most awkward moments. Oh my!

 

I wish I had blackberry cobbler with vanilla ice cream.

[Valkyrie]

Just now, drpaladin said:

Granted. But it also undresses you at the most awkward moments. Oh my!

 

I wish I had blackberry cobbler with vanilla ice cream.

  

 

Granted.  It's the best blackberry cobbler and vanilla ice cream you've ever had, but all you get is a half inch square bite.  

 

I wish my cats shed less fur. 

[JayT]

2 minutes ago, Valkyrie said:

  

 

Granted.  It's the best blackberry cobbler and vanilla ice cream you've ever had, but all you get is a half inch square bite.  

 

I wish my cats shed less fur. 

Granted you now own Mexican Hairless cats

 

I wish I knew what to wish for

[W_L]

15 minutes ago, JayT said:

Granted you now own Mexican Hairless cats

 

I wish I knew what to wish for

 

Granted, but now you have no wish left

 

I wish for a wish that grants two wishes every time I wish for a wish

[JayT]

Just now, W_L said:

 

Granted, but now you have no wish left

 

I wish for a wish that grants two wishes every time I wish for a wish

Granted, but it grants one of my wishes and yours since you took mine away

 

I wish for a slice of pecan pie

[drpaladin]

19 minutes ago, JayT said:

Granted, but it grants one of my wishes and yours since you took mine away

 

I wish for a slice of pecan pie

Granted. Unfortunately it's two years old. Blechh!

 

I wish I had some potato chips.

[Valkyrie]

26 minutes ago, drpaladin said:

Granted. Unfortunately it's two years old. Blechh!

 

I wish I had some potato chips.

Granted.  You now have herring flavored potato chips. 

 

I wish I had a red panda as a pet. 

[drpaladin]

19 minutes ago, Valkyrie said:

Granted.  You now have herring flavored potato chips. 

 

I wish I had a red panda as a pet. 

Granted. Too bad about the cats.

 

I wish the (blank) key wasn't missing from my keyboard.  LOL

Edited May 24, 2017 by drpaladin

[AK79]

Granted.  It has been replaced with a key that causes your computer to crash when you press it.

 

I wish I knew what a (blank) key was.

 

Space bar maybe?

[Valkyrie]

2 hours ago, AK79 said:

Granted.  It has been replaced with a key that causes your computer to crash when you press it.

 

I wish I knew what a (blank) key was.

 

Space bar maybe?

Granted.  You now know and have to go into the witness protection program. 

 

I wish I had a refrigerator in my office.  

[AK79]

Granted.  But this refrigerator has difficulty keeping anything cold, is noisy to the point of being distracting and leaks freon.

 

I wish I had more flavored creamer.

[Valkyrie]

4 minutes ago, AK79 said:

Granted.  But this refrigerator has difficulty keeping anything cold, is noisy to the point of being distracting and leaks freon.

 

I wish I had more flavored creamer.

Granted. You now have herring flavored creamer, and when you want a bit of a change, liver flavored creamer. 

 

I wish it wasn't going to rain all day tomorrow. 

[AK79]

I happen to like herring and liver.  Not so sure how either would taste in coffee though.  Can't be worse than salt and butter.

 

Granted.  Instead it snows.  (reminds me of the first time my nephew saw snow....he hated it and couldn't understand why it was white, wet and cold)

 

I wish it would rain all day today.  A nice calm soaking rain.

[Brayon]

4 hours ago, AK79 said:

I happen to like herring and liver.  Not so sure how either would taste in coffee though.  Can't be worse than salt and butter.

 

Granted.  Instead it snows.  (reminds me of the first time my nephew saw snow....he hated it and couldn't understand why it was white, wet and cold)

 

I wish it would rain all day today.  A nice calm soaking rain.

 

 

Salt and Goat Butter... it's gross. Tried it.

 

Granted but it does so for the next week.

 

I wish I didn't have insomnia.

Edited May 24, 2017 by BHopper2

[AK79]

I wouldn't mind if it rained for a week.  All this hot, bright, sunny weather is depressing.  And yeah I didn't care for the butter and salt in the coffee either.

 

Granted.  Now you sleep fine, for an entire week.

 

I wish my nephew would quit trying to get me to let him have a pet snake.

[drpaladin]

8 minutes ago, AK79 said:

I wouldn't mind if it rained for a week.  All this hot, bright, sunny weather is depressing.  And yeah I didn't care for the butter and salt in the coffee either.

 

Granted.  Now you sleep fine, for an entire week.

 

I wish my nephew would quit trying to get me to let him have a pet snake.

Ordinarily I don't mind the rain, but I'm expecting to see a safari traversing my yard at any moment.  lol

 

Granted. He secretly catches one for himself. Copperheads make adorable house pets.

 

I wish I could find an alternative to ordering pizza

[Brayon]

Granted. He now wants a pet Chocolate Skunk, that has not been neutralized.

Granted. There's a new joint called Chinese Pizza. It's Chinese food, in a Pizza form.

 

I wish I knew how to get more discussions on my stories.

[AK79]

1 minute ago, drpaladin said:

Granted. He secretly catches one for himself. Copperheads make adorable house pets.

 

He better not, I'd kill it pretty quick (both of us are pretty good about identifying snakes even if my fiancee is convinced all snakes are the dreaded copperheaded water rattler).  Honestly I'm thinking if I give in we might try a garter snake (though he can't have the one that lives under the porch--George the Garter Snake is a tenant not a pet).  And yeah George was on the porch the other day and Aaron saw him and screamed like a girl and called me on his cell phone to come out and kill him.

 

So I come out there, find the snake and see what it is, shake my head and walk back into the house.  I have loads of stories like that, like the time there was a corn snake in the barn and scared the be-jesus out of Aaron.

 

So yeah y'all can probably see why I'm reluctant to have a pet snake in the house.

 

5 minutes ago, BHopper2 said:

Granted. He now wants a pet Chocolate Skunk, that has not been neutralized.

Granted. There's a new joint called Chinese Pizza. It's Chinese food, in a Pizza form.

 

I wish I knew how to get more discussions on my stories.

 

That sounds like it is either delicious or disgusting.  No in between there.

 

Granted.  Now people can't quit talking about your stories and picking them apart with non-constructive criticism.

[AK79]

Forgot my wish....do'h.

 

I wish I didn't forget wishes.

[drpaladin]

3 hours ago, AK79 said:

 

He better not, I'd kill it pretty quick (both of us are pretty good about identifying snakes even if my fiancee is convinced all snakes are the dreaded copperheaded water rattler).  Honestly I'm thinking if I give in we might try a garter snake (though he can't have the one that lives under the porch--George the Garter Snake is a tenant not a pet).  And yeah George was on the porch the other day and Aaron saw him and screamed like a girl and called me on his cell phone to come out and kill him.

 

So I come out there, find the snake and see what it is, shake my head and walk back into the house.  I have loads of stories like that, like the time there was a corn snake in the barn and scared the be-jesus out of Aaron.

 

So yeah y'all can probably see why I'm reluctant to have a pet snake in the house.

 

 

That sounds like it is either delicious or disgusting.  No in between there.

 

Granted.  Now people can't quit talking about your stories and picking them apart with non-constructive criticism.

 

There is a guy I've known since he was a kid, which wasn't that long ago. He is what I would term bat s**t crazy. He has caught and kept poisonous snakes as pets for years. Kept the things in his closet. He would carry them around in a cardboard box. He says they don't bite him because he's their friend. He catches them by putting his bare hand into the hole where they live, grabbing them, and pulling them out. He had the biggest copperhead I've ever seen in my life.

[drpaladin]

5 minutes ago, AK79 said:

Forgot my wish....do'h.

 

I wish I didn't forget wishes.

 

Granted. You never forget wishes, and become incredibly frustrated that none of them come true.

 

I wish that blankty blank pizza hadn't been an hour late

[Brayon]

3 minutes ago, drpaladin said:

 

Granted. You never forget wishes, and become incredibly frustrated that none of them come true.

 

I wish that blankty blank pizza hadn't been an hour late

 

Granted. It came on time but was so scaldingly hot, you burned your mouth on a slice.

 

I wish this Dinner Prep was already done.

[AK79]

9 minutes ago, drpaladin said:

 

There is a guy I've known since he was a kid, which wasn't that long ago. He is what I would term bat s**t crazy. He has caught and kept poisonous snakes as pets for years. Kept the things in his closet. He would carry them around in a cardboard box. He says they don't bite him because he's their friend. He catches them by putting his bare hand into the hole where they live, grabbing them, and pulling them out. He had the biggest copperhead I've ever seen in my life.

 

Yeah, I don't tempt fate like that.  Mostly if I see a venomous snake like out in the wild I leave it alone.  Even the most aggressive species typically do not attack humans unless they feel threatened. 

 

2 minutes ago, BHopper2 said:

Granted. It came on time but was so scaldingly hot, you burned your mouth on a slice.

 

I wish this Dinner Prep was already done.

 

Granted your dinner prep is done.  All one potato of it.

 

I wish I could think of what I want for supper, its my turn to cook and all.