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A Touching Video...

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COM.  IT BROUGHT MAJOR TEARS  TO MY EYES to see this.... almost speechless.. I am an avid fan and follower.. I am so glad the future and the fights have shown progress as well... I am a 61 year old closet case that has lived , learned and spiritualy  been broken down.. to live a life without TRUE love.. the love I've known in me but due to bigots and you know HOMO....... INGNOR... STUPID PEOPLE... Have lost out on the real love of my life... through 6  failed....marriages (all women) I say FAILED because they never seemed or felt right.. it was done not for pleasing myself.. any time but through embarassment of the alternative that was sssooooooo evident in my day. LIVING a total LIE, and no support then to fight it. I feel years of wasted, valuable time and lost Love... It really hurts, I believe my life was tottaly on hold for the pleasure of others. Just the .past few years offering me solace from the hell and discomfort of my teen years...KNOWING I was gay, and while I liked girls, it made me sick to think of sex with them,  why marriages never worked with them. I was able at or in my 40 ties to start operating on my feelings as a gay man. but with all the drama a lot of Adults have and baggage we tend to carry. I had a hard time opening up.. like due to the lies, and cheating and maybe just comparing every one to my high school soul mate .. they did not meet the need or fill the void?? My heart still aches to find a special someone.. I am very naive yet still curious and I know still very Gay, (although I think I"M broke, or tainted ) I looked at the Videos an cried and still cry asking WHY not sooner? I am glad for others who at least know or get to know what fight has taken place, for this to happen! And not to take it for granted, because in reality it has very..VERY much required a cost, a life, and others happiness .. ONE DAY... SOON I am going to TRY writing about my life, and my enclosed imprisonment of TRUE love NEVER experienced, very much in my mind, the joy and envy of those who can be free about their expressions... and the price many have paid for others to  experience what they could not openly .closing I follow you because you in many stories have filled voids from my life . the shoulda , coulda, woulda's and even though not the same.. Have connected enough to get a slight feel of what it would have been like.. Thanks COM, I REALLY MEAN IT... your heart and passion do mean a lot to people and I am One :worship: DMRman...........................

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Don't ever give up on love, Dmrman. Not even when you are 'dead' and the next world beckons.

 

I'm a late bloomer too. I will find my Billy Chase some day. I really will.

 

:hug:

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Thanks for the words... I keep saying it still lives (the love) I have this desperate need to Love or give love to that special someone... I just am a little frustrated over lost years with a heart overflowing.. Just to say I really HAVE loved for me not the way others have said love should be.. 40 plus years bottled up... and perhaps all the "Billy Chases" i have let slip through.. I know I'm not alone it really saddens my heart to know others have had to suffer the same distaste that I have gone through, the unappealing, bitter suffering that has in past been placed on us .. I don't hate them, but I do feel VERY SORRY for them. they were caught up in a traditional environment of homophobic lies .. and maybe have felt the same ?? I really feel I dropped the ball , and did not go with my heart.... no matter what.... Education has got us this far, and a lot more needed!! thanks for the kind words and the concern... it does not go un -noticed... maybe that's what I am looking for... that new found courage to step out and be what I know I really am.. I am comfortable within myself... but still closeted if that makes sense??? I find myself cruising at 60 and scoping out but afraid to act on it ... Dam homaphobe's  anyway... I guess I needed the atta boy for encouragement... thanks..:unsure::hug:

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@Carlos Hazday, like Comsie, is a great author here in GA. He is also a mature man who loves greatly. I've learned a lot from him. When following our Com's stories you might enjoy Carlos' too.

 

Love comes when the heart is free. This is what I'm learning. Lucky ones learn it early, but I think its the ones who learn it later in life that appreciate it that much more.

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I must say several authors have touched my most inner being. helping me in various ways to get a slight taste through their words, making it truly spark inside, and see through the eyes of characters in their stories things that I have felt, or wanted, to escalate in my most inner being. like having a vision, a long term journey and the potential to every thing the journey offers.. but sitting back dreaming about it instead of following the vision!!! ( hopefully it makes sense to you... shockingly it does to me) I guess to look at it as seeing a really Buff, toned guy at the gym, and desiring to be that way myself, yet never doing anything in the gym to get that way.... no action.. I have cried through many stories, laughed, and loved, screamed, and was mad, and yes not really hate..... but despise actions from others whether hetro. or gay Mean is mean.. I enjoy many that deal with romance... mostly because I long to understand, and feel it personally .. Eggman has a couple I think I about cried through most of it "A new Life" connecting with these authors has been great in healing hurts and pains, I often wonder if they really know how much help they do give those hurting.. I can say for me a lot of times it has been like being able to go back in time and re-live  what I really desired as a teen.. and missed out on. other authors Like Nicholas James.. drew me in because I was really connected the area based in his story, and had visited 98 percent of the areas he wrote about (almost like being right there with them)  many great authors that I could go on about... I not even what I would say a READER, but I have received so much healing, I think I may be becoming a "JUNKIE" so much intrigue , I feel naive and clumsy and yet giddy and inspired.. waiting for each new chapter to come out, and its like waiting a new growth spurt... the romance, and love come very easy, sex wise I am just past a gay virgin... ( telling on my self...) I guess that;s my confirmation of being Gay , if you catch my drift.......? thanks for hearing my rambling  I just am at a point to share and connect with Family... love , hugg's,,  and thank you for an ear, you have no clue it's overall effects:wizard: like a child in the toy store... what can I say???? thanks for referring Carlos , I will check it out! thanks DMRman

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I can understand EXACTLY what you mean, Dmrman! Wholeheartedly! I see people coming out younger and younger these days, with some of the same fears and questions that I assume we all had at one time. But the rest of the world isn't as harsh and unforgiving as it used to be in some cases. Or...at the very least, there are places to turn to and people who will understand and defend you where necessary. There's more strength in that than a lot of people will ever know. But that's a GOOD thing! I feel as though the newer generations will have it better than I did. (Not that I didn't have my fair share of fun as a teenager, hehehe!) But I think I had it better than my parents did (my mom's sister is m2f transgender, which I didn't understand at all when I was little...but it's not like it mattered. Still doesn't.). And you know a world that I couldn't even imagine in the 80's, so don't feel bad, and never feel alone. People are slow to learn, and it's frustrating sometimes...but when it sticks, it sticks. It's just how evolution works, I suppose. But I get emails constantly from teenagers who are as young as 13 or 14 years old who might find a bunch of stuff online that might come off as a bit 'heavy' for them to take in. But then they find a few stories that actually speaks more to what's in their hearts instead of what's in their pants...and they just want a friend to talk to. They want stories about romance and love and finding someone special. It's not just about being horny, they're VERY in touch with how they feel and with what they want. And for those who are older, there's a huge nostalgia involved in going back and remembering that first crush, first love, first relationship...that ultimately touches all of us in some way. Thank you so much for the compliment on that, by the way! ((Hugz))

 

Here's another video that I thought you might like. You and everybody else reading this thread. The stuff that I write about is smothered with the idea that love wins. That's it. Maybe there are obstacles with distance, or with competition, or with financial status, or with age, or with physical abuse, or...hell, maybe there's a zombie apocalypse going on at the moment! Hehehe! But love is love. And with just a touch of belief and the hope for a better day...it will always win in the end. If that fills a hole for you, then I'm glad. And if the naughty parts fills another hole, hehehe...pun intended...then even better! So don't ever think it's too late to start over again. K? Love hasn't gone anywhere. There's always a chance.

 

Anyway, here's the video...

 

 

 

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Hehehe, oh yeah! And this song! I think this song gets more relevant and relatable every time you hear it past the age of 25! Listen to it once a year, and you'll all get it! :)

 

 

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Comsie.. thank so much for the response... The feedback as  luscious as your writing ( and well needed). Each time I read various stories from various writers (GA, Nifty.. ect..) I find myself gracefully moving forward with the courage and strength once thought lost for ever.. I have won more victories reading these stories, conquering defeat and shackles from years of abuse and torment. Having a tingling sensation of who I am , rekindling and stoking the fire that once blazzed in my youth. those fires.. well suppressed and hidden in my heart , sole and spirit... leaving darkness and anger only to rule. the THIEF hatred and biggots . they had a mindset one pressed to kill and destroy the very inner core of my being. for years the thief  wins and wins.. until one day the stage changes , the love still burns and a fresh spark kindles . The reality of who, what I truly have been cried enough.. (this is your fault you know? not by yourself, others were involved. L.O.L .) Social hate and manipulation thought it had won. I found passion, renewal, and rebirth the Source of strength, filtering through You, Eggman, Kristy, Nicholas James, Remijay...... I can go on.. and on .healing in those words, and freedom never really experienced.. power to help me, others fight.. fight for Ourselves not  to destroy, that would make us as bad ???  To educate the ignorant. The Value of the Gifted writers is un-measurable  the ability to feel and share the various emotions with That skilled perfection and touch the deepest , darkest most messed up areas imaginable . Truly Blew and continues to Blow my mind.. considerations of how or why in a whole new avenue of thinking.. Comsie I have really, Passionately been reading and following in the shadows since 2010.. ( yea I know... A lot of Reading Later....) but .. I've  been playing Catch-up for the last 30-plus years.. But the fact being It worked and has helped me become unashamed and willing live as I always knew .. Not just words. the Stories not just stories But Healing for  the hurting, confused, and abused persons.. AS I close (even though more I could say) My heart, love and prayers go out to you and all the others who apply your lives so wonderfully and skillfully and passionately in this field.. And just so you don't think I am just all fuzzy and mushy Many stories I have Majorly busted a Gutt reading... So again thanks for all you do..(as well as all the others who write) to get us involved to be content and happy where we are in life you are a precious, precious commodity. :worship: as I close I cry .. not sad tears.. but happy for my experience in getting to be happy and free, still connected to feelings and emotions of dear people ( Friends, Family) on these sites.. with BIG, BIG Hearts... THANK YOU.. DMRman

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