Jump to content
Comicality

Question For Imagine Magazine...

Recommended Posts

 

This is a question that I'm putting out there for all of you guys to think about and answer whenever you get a chance! Now, I am going to be working super HARD on getting new material for Imagine Magazine in the next month or two, and hopefully we can build a dedicated staff that will offer up new material on a monthly basis. (Yep! I'm going to put my nose to the grindstone and make this a monthly online magazine as it was intended...even if I have to do it all by myself!) But, at the same time, you guys are super important to me and to everybody reading. So, if you have a second, share your thoughts on this! :) You can do so anonymously if you want to. That's ok too. But I'll be collecting these answers (Unless you, specifically, tell me NOT to include you, for whatever reason. I'll understand) and adding them to one of the future issues of the magazine. Cool?

 

We all learn from one another. We all have personal stories to tell. This is your chance to talk about YOU! You're the expert! So let us know what you think? K?

 

More questions to come as future ideas get the momentum going again.

 

Kx8Y2M5.png

 

 

Have any of you guys ever fallen for your best friend? It doesn't matter how young you were or if it went anywhere or not. For many of us, we find someone that we have a LOT in common with, we laugh with, we share our secrets with...and sometimes (not always, but SOMETIMES), we begin to develop feelings for the cuties that are closest to us. Why wouldn't we? Right?

 

Tell us what happened? Have you ever been head over heels for a close friend of yours? When did it happen? Did you ever 'go for it'? What happened then? Was it in real life or online? Did you feel bad about it? Good about it?

 

Whatever your story is...put it in the reply below! We can all relate to having a huge crush on that guy/girl that we felt so connected to when they were standing by our side. Share your feelings on this, folks!

 

This whole website is actually here because I was MADLY in love with my best friend, Mike, at the time! So I feel your pain, believe me! Hehehe!

 

What's <I>your</I> story? Let us know!

  • Like 4
  • Love 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Jon.

 

Jon was his name. Not 'John' but Jon. It might have been short for Jonathan, but that was never made clear to me.

I can't say that I was madly in love with Jon. At first we were just a couple of misfit toys that found each other in school. It was handy that he lived just down the hill from me. We were both Star Wars fanatics and so we had many a space adventure together. In our short time together we went from best friends/brothers to being 'interested' in each other as our bodies began having those kinds of feelings.

 

Nothing ever got that serious. One time it almost did in my back yard under the chinese elm tree, but my preternatually psychic mother called us in before we could go much further than grinding through clothing. Even though she couldn't see anything she knew something was going on though nothing of that nature had ever happened before. We were only 11 and 12 at the time so neither of us knew what we were doing or why. 

 

To this day I am haunted by that day. Wondering what could have become of us if we had continued. Probably a lot of drama and misery because later we were 'broken up' in an agreement between his parents and mine. Jon was going in a direction I couldn't go. He was starting to sniff around drugs and trouble. Shoplifting things. I think the end of it really came when Jon pulled his dad's gun out and started playing with it around me. This scared me. Also, he started playing with fire . . . literally. That was my mom's reasons anyway.

 

I have a feeling that Jon's dad's reasons were for something far less 'parental'. He sensed something was growing between his son and me that went beyond mere friendship. Jon was broken hearted and I was too though I turned very cold toward him. I had to. I was ordered to. I  . . . always followed orders. My mom was my Emperor and I was her Darth Vader slave. I also knew that Jon scared me. My feelings for him I couldn't understand and his bizarre and dangerous behavior was very disturbing.

 

During Jr. High I lost track of Jon. He tried many times to entice me back into his new world of Heavy Metal, Drugs, and a 'close' friend who,  strangely, was another blonde boy (highly unusual in my school being that I went to a minority school). But, by that time I'd made new friends and one, in particular, was trying to catch my eye. His name was Jose ('JOEseph'). That relationship too would die before it ever got anywhere, much to my lasting sadness. I was a 'good' boy then and had recognized through the vicious browbeating of others that what I was was called. 'Gay'. To be Gay, for me then, was to be 'wrong'. A pervert and mortal sinner (I was very religious then. A devout Catholic). It also meant certain death because AIDS had just risen to full power. That was all the proof I needed that God hated homosexuality. It was a preview of Judgement Day. It was the First Tribulation. So, when JOEseph (Jose) wanted to make that move on me at the sleepover when I was fourteen, I ran away from him, terrified and yet longing for that touch I could NEVER have! Because I WANTED Jose. I wanted him very much. But, to have him meant all manner of troubles for me, not the leasewise was eternal damnation. I became a pariah after that. Jose was very popular and the correct rumours about what I was only gained strength through his influence. A lover scorned can be a terrible thing.

 

Then High School came . . . but my Billy Chase never did.

I wait for him still. 

 

:heart:

Edited by MrM
  • Like 1
  • Love 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

 

Oh man, I was NOTORIOUS for falling for my friends! Hehehe!

 

I don't know what was going on with me, but from about the time I was ten years old, I would have these really 'intense' friendships with the other boys from school. Especially the ones that lived in my neighborhood. And we did everything together, and talked on the phone for hours on end, and had weekly sleepovers, and walked to and from school every single day...and before I even really figured out the 'gay' thing in my head, I'd be in love.

 

Sighhhh...

 

I couldn't help it. There are people in my life that I feel really close to, and sometimes that just turns into something else. Luckily, I'm a lot more level headed these days. But back then, up until I was about 25 years old or so, I'd get the most serious crushes on the people who were closest to me.

Out of all the friends I fell head over heels for, I only had sex with three of them. And one of those times actually ruined the friendship, because every time we got together it became all about sex and nothing else. I mean, I think we had feelings for each other, but we weren't in LOVE. You know? And sex gets boring when you're not in love. Believe it or not, I was about 14 or 15 at the time, and some days I just wanted to play Super Nintendo instead. Like, "Come on, dude. AGAIN?" Weird.

 

I doubt I'd have to go into too much detail about my 'friend obsessions' as you've read about them in the stories for years now. Even Chris, from "A Class By Himself", which was one of the oddest experiences of my adolescent life. Because, truth be told, me and that boy had one hell of a love/hate relationship. Never had sex or even shared a kiss, and as far as I know, he's straight. But...ummm...yeah, that was weird. We HATED each other sometimes! I mean, we got into actual FIST FIGHTS on multiple occasions (Made for some interesting boy scout meetings and camping trips), but when we were friends? We were like BEST friends! And there were times when all the boys would have to sit in a semi circle and listen to the scout leader or whoever...and I'd stretch out and lay my head on Chris' thigh. Right there in front of everybody. And he would literally 'pet' my hair and tell me how soft it was, and it was the weirdest, most <I>intimate</I> thing ever. I don't even know if anybody noticed, but they never told us to stop, so...? ::Blush::

 

And of course, there was Mike. My best friend, Mike, who I met just before my freshman year of high school. That was love that I wasn't ready for at all. And we did EVERYTHING together (And Adam and Sam and Ariel, etc were around by this point), played games together, went to the movies together, got in fights together...I really REALLY fell for him hard! ::Blushes Even Harder::

We were friends all through high school, then when he went away to college for a while, then when he came BACK to Chicago and we got an apartment together, then after that, and I got to stand at his wedding, and I just spoke to him about a week ago on the phone! Nothing's changed. Not really. Hehehe, he's my husband whether he knows it or not. LOL!

 

I did come out to Mike eventually. He didn't believe that I was gay for almost two weeks. That was cool. :P It was us living in that tiny apartment together that made me build the Shack in the first place. The sexual frustration was INSANE! We're just <I>too</I> close, emotionally. Always will be.

 

Anyway, I'll stop this here before I let this get too long. But yes, I have not only fallen for my best friends in the past, but I think I've fallen for almost ALL of them at one point or another. It happens, I guess. And I wouldn't trade those days for anything!

 

One regret though...I really do think I could have gotten Ariel if I wasn't such a chicken! Seriously! He was shy, but...I always had a feeling about that boy. :)

  • Like 2
  • Love 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think what you @Comicality describe is very natural, because it was exactly like that for me. Boys from school and boys who lived nearby, but I never had sexual feelings for my best friend who turned out to be straight. But there was Steven, Stevie, with his blond hair and blue eyes who lived down the street. We would have mock fights where we literally tumbled around together, we were all over each other and it felt great, but neither of us knew anything about sex, we were eight or nine years old.


There was Mark from school, another blond, his mother was German and quite strict. It all came to an end at his house where I was invited for his birthday party. I don't recall exactly what happened, but there were only a handful of boys there, it was a great party. But, I think he wanted to show off a bit, we all got into a pillow fight, and I knew we shouldn't be doing that. So it ended with one very angry German lady grabbing her son and spanking him in front of us, then we all got sent home.

 

Now Demetri had the cutest smile, he was a small kid for his age, with short jet black hair and his family were Greek Cypriot. We hung out together, we were both in the school football team, I still have the team photo, a bunch of ten year olds (I should dig it out). The climax of that relationship was an afternoon spent at his house, because whatever we started out doing we ended up whispering secrets and holding each other and getting quite close. It was just that one afternoon, but I still have the picture in my head of his bedroom and sitting there on his bed close to him. 

 

Things changed with puberty and growing up, I never lost the getting close to boys, but for several years it was on hold, because I was scared, dead scared that I might get found out for who I really was, and that would spoil everything – because deep down I knew I was different and that I must be the only boy like that, so I had to hide and keep my secret to myself, whatever the cost and heartache.

 

Edited by William King
spelling
  • Like 1
  • Love 1
  • Sad 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 9/12/2017 at 6:00 PM, Comicality said:

 

This is a question that I'm putting out there for all of you guys to think about and answer whenever you get a chance! Now, I am going to be working super HARD on getting new material for Imagine Magazine in the next month or two, and hopefully we can build a dedicated staff that will offer up new material on a monthly basis. (Yep! I'm going to put my nose to the grindstone and make this a monthly online magazine as it was intended...even if I have to do it all by myself!) But, at the same time, you guys are super important to me and to everybody reading. So, if you have a second, share your thoughts on this! :) You can do so anonymously if you want to. That's ok too. But I'll be collecting these answers (Unless you, specifically, tell me NOT to include you, for whatever reason. I'll understand) and adding them to one of the future issues of the magazine. Cool?

 

We all learn from one another. We all have personal stories to tell. This is your chance to talk about YOU! You're the expert! So let us know what you think? K?

 

More questions to come as future ideas get the momentum going again.

 

Kx8Y2M5.png

 

 

Have any of you guys ever fallen for your best friend? It doesn't matter how young you were or if it went anywhere or not. For many of us, we find someone that we have a LOT in common with, we laugh with, we share our secrets with...and sometimes (not always, but SOMETIMES), we begin to develop feelings for the cuties that are closest to us. Why wouldn't we? Right?

 

Tell us what happened? Have you ever been head over heels for a close friend of yours? When did it happen? Did you ever 'go for it'? What happened then? Was it in real life or online? Did you feel bad about it? Good about it?

 

Whatever your story is...put it in the reply below! We can all relate to having a huge crush on that guy/girl that we felt so connected to when they were standing by our side. Share your feelings on this, folks!

 

This whole website is actually here because I was MADLY in love with my best friend, Mike, at the time! So I feel your pain, believe me! Hehehe!

 

What's <I>your</I> story? Let us know!

Comsie...  this is exactly what Is needed, I think so many times about my past, first crush (really Heart crushing love) I've shared with you and other Authors.. Just how precious these stories have been to my own abusive , lying, closeted life.." Hell" I in no way consider myself a Author, but I've come to realize through the years of reading these eloquent prescriptions.  (many of the authors stories have been in my life,) I have come to the conclusion through their Healing capabilities that they have been extremely VALUABLE to me ( for lack of the right words/ or better!!!)) but none the less virtually and literally have Saved my Life... I feel a need to share,( continue my own further Healing in life) And Maybe... Just MAYBE help someone to keep from doing what I WAS very consistently , and deliberately FOCUSED on doing.  I really Am  truthful, and  sincere when I say if it was not for the authors and stories from these various sites today.... I would be DEAD! I've said before... I don't read.. now I do! for the last 7 years.... and I  still am? I have found that many authors have typo's and punctuation issues, and editors ect... ect.. I even remember telling one author not to worry, and that myself  I would need a full staff just for my spelling alone ( I really SUCK.... spelling included.. HA Ha ha.... pun intended .) But... the bigger picture is the emotional Healing... I mean right? ( this is were you would agree with me..... Okay? ) helping others to understand the full experience (good , bad , ugly...?) I'm gonna take a shot.. and write (or make the attempt, I mean if nothing else... the readers will get a gut busting, eye watering, tongue swallowing kick out of my... punctual and spelling dysfunctions.... ( Might not be soooooo..bad b-cause I make myself laugh about it all the time) and I've lived with it for 40 plus years... time to share eehh? fasten your seat belts and put your trays in their upright positions.. cause I'm gonna attempt to Write and share.... all I can say is........ PLAY nice.. guys.. Love you all DMRman

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It's cheesy to say it but right now I'm in love with my best friend. But for the purposes of this story I want to drag myself through memory lane, and see if I can put some very old feelings to rest. Names are, of course, edited to protect everyone involved.

 

I was four years old, and I'd never had a friend before. Hell. I was four years old and hadn't really done much in the way of socializing before. Most of my time was spent with family before I went to preschool, and the preschool itself was an attempt by my parents to try and socialize me a bit before lugging me off to school every day for the next 22 years of their lives. Tai was different. Although I guess so am I, so it was already a good match. He's Japanese, I'm half-Chinese. We were in a sea of mostly white faces and we recognized in each other people who were similar to ourselves and not similar to those around us. We started to hang out all the time, closer than friends should be and encouraged through it all by our far too permissive parents. Showering with Tai (and to this day I don't know why that happened) when we were both four years old has to qualify as one of the weirdest bonding moments ever, or perhaps it's just a figment of my messed up memories that doesn't actually exist. 

 

But we were inseparable. We looked out for each other in class the years we were housed together, and we found each other in the years that we weren't together. Of course, things weren't as they seemed, and he had to move. He moved a lot. I didn't know why he had to move, but even as a young boy I knew I wasn't going to let a half hour drive stop me from seeing my friend. School nights weren't going to happen, especially when he moved further away again into a bigger house. So we did sleepovers instead. We were getting into our preteen years and more weekends than not one of us would be at the other's house from Friday night until Sunday afternoon. We made sure to get our school work done early so that we wouldn't have to panic and waste our time together. And what glorious times they were. Swimming in his backyard pool, barbeques on my patio, and without fail we would spend the night sharing everything about ourselves with each other.

 

By the time I was eleven years old, I swore that I would tell him how I felt. By then I knew I was gay, and  I knew what it meant to be gay. I wanted to share that part of myself with him, even knowing that he would never, ever feel the same way. It might have had something to do with the drive to his birthday party, where he, myself and a mutual friend played 'grab crotch' for the whole trip. 

 

As luck would have it, fate intervened. The summer I was planning on telling him was the summer that the government finally caught up with his parents. The reasons for their constant moving became clear; it was to avoid legal and financial trouble, and the family was quickly deported back to Japan. On the way to the airport, he took the time to say a last goodbye. I gave him a hug in my bedroom and made him swear that he wouldn't forget me, that we'd write and phone and email (this was in the dial-up internet days), and do whatever it took to make sure that time zones wouldn't ruin our close, special friendship.

 

I never saw him again. 

 

The first couple years after were the hardest part. I'd often find myself staring off into the western horizon, wondering if he was still thinking about me. His emails became less frequent as time went on, and the phone calls never came. As he suffered family tragedy after another, I became an afterthought in his life and we just...we outgrew each other and moved on with our lives. 

 

By the dumbest stroke of luck I was able to find him again on Facebook, and we reconnected a few years ago. He's married now. Doesn't even live in Japan anymore. He's changed so much, and the shy, goofy kid I used to know doesn't seem to be there anymore. It shamed me to tell him over a message, but I did finally get to come out to my old friend, and while I was right to assume that he wouldn't feel for me what I felt for him back then, I was touched by the fact that his only concern was that I was happy with who I am and where I was in my life.

 

Things will never be the same; we're both too different to go back, and in truth most of the things that bound us together as children would be meaningless to us as adults. I know within my heart and soul that I will never see him again, and all that means to me is that he's making space in my heart for someone new. I'm going to miss him something fierce. And then one day I'm going to find that I don't miss him anymore, I don't think about him anymore, and that I don't wonder how he's doing anymore. That's a bittersweet day, but I know that the memories I have of him, and of us, will last longer than the sweet touch I never had to begin with. And I'll face that day with the person who I'm now blessed to stand beside, my best friend and my lover, and my testament to the power that friendship brings to love.

  • Love 2
  • Wow 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
5 hours ago, Hunter Thomson said:

That's a bittersweet day,

 I reacted WOW but was cut between LOVE and SAD. Love because you came through and made peace with the past to move forward, sad because It's happened to me being separated from childhood friends in a world controlled by adults that you don't fully understand.

  • Like 1
  • Love 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Not exactly my best friend.... someone I knew by his face and that he was one of the "cool kids"

in school. Yeah...it was...uhhh... foolish to me that I've had feelings for a boy. (Actually I thought I was turning into some dumb, evil being... from the pressure around.)

 

Well, the days ran by quickly, turning into weeks. I've made "friends" with him. Even though it was him using me... Didn't matter. I was close around him, and had ...ummm... Well they didn't look at me like another idiot.

(Actually they did... lol but I didn't know it then.)

 

So the school year passed...

During the summer I was again hanging around him. I didn't really know why though...it just felt right.

Again when it was him and I... everything was the way I imagined it to be once I get into his circles.

When someone else came into the picture... joining our little group...he was someone else... I've noticed that he wasn't the same when others were around...so I decided to cut myself free from the group and returned to being the lone Woolf I always was, but! The feelings never died, and... I was slowly but surely accepting the fact that I'm probably loving a boy. 

I never discussed it with myself... until the last (or the one before the last) school year.. 

Yeah... I've told him about it. 

 

It took me all that time spent together till then...to be spent with the horrible feelings of insecurity, fear, the pressure from all around... my kind... well it was already a national "minority" and to all that comes the fact that I was...ummm the gay boy. 

So yeah.. wasn't easy. When I finally told him in person.. then the pressure lifted, and I was ready for any reaction. Including getting put down.. then bullied even more because of it. Yeah... well guess what happened. 

Nope. I was extremely happy for the reaction. He said we'll give it a shot. 

 

Before I've told him that I had a huge crush on him, and the meanwhile I was struggling with the pressure...yes there were some girls, and a few other boys... Yeah I fell for some. Lol

But then in the end he was the real deal.

 

The story ends here. The whole story ends with his suicide(a lot of good times later)... but I won't detail that here.

 

Well uhh... that's all folks. 

 

As for your magazine...if you need help with setting up a few webpages... I'll try to help you out. :)

  • Love 1
  • Sad 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

There are some good times in there @Dennis191, but the suicide is sad. My own best friend from childhood died pulling a stupid stunt, I'd known him since we were seven, then at just shy of 21, he was gone. Nothing to do with being gay or having a crush on him, he just happened to be my best friend for a number of years. Sad.

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
8 hours ago, William King said:

 I reacted WOW but was cut between LOVE and SAD. Love because you came through and made peace with the past to move forward, sad because It's happened to me being separated from childhood friends in a world controlled by adults that you don't fully understand.

Yea.. I'm with you.. I'm still caught in zombie land over it... It took me years to even try to make peace with myself ( "the world controlled by Adults, and so called friends, and people who say they love you...) yup, not Where I was, but not where I want to be?? not able to understand.... " because I was to young to, or a phase, or even Not Natural... an abomination... Funny how those words you never even thought about, until the Kill  joys brought them up..  shunning , despising, even taking back their love you thought you already had... wow.. Sad , that Love ever had to become sad... why can't love just remain.... Love and give place to overcome move on and love again..... Like hate.... these things are taught... something I had to pursue on my own because... I was tainted, un-normal and treated as Broken..... when the reality of what was really broke ( controlling adults , friends? and peers) Yea they were doing the teaching...!!!! yep I'm there, I feel, and I cry...and I accept..... I'm not Broken and no matter what who or why love is love no matter what gender!!!!  as an adult, the many broken adults still trying to convince us .... we need fixing instead of seeking their own fix... How sad.............. I'm getting my solace for myself worked with out .... looking to/ towards broken people.. and it feel's  Really goood for once in my life.... the pureness of a child's love,  misspoken by broken people,  this just should not be..................???????????                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                

Edited by Dmrman
typo's
  • Like 1
  • Love 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 9/13/2017 at 6:24 PM, Comicality said:

 

Oh man, I was NOTORIOUS for falling for my friends! Hehehe!

 

I don't know what was going on with me, but from about the time I was ten years old, I would have these really 'intense' friendships with the other boys from school. Especially the ones that lived in my neighborhood. And we did everything together, and talked on the phone for hours on end, and had weekly sleepovers, and walked to and from school every single day...and before I even really figured out the 'gay' thing in my head, I'd be in love.

 

Sighhhh...

 

I couldn't help it. There are people in my life that I feel really close to, and sometimes that just turns into something else. Luckily, I'm a lot more level headed these days. But back then, up until I was about 25 years old or so, I'd get the most serious crushes on the people who were closest to me.

Out of all the friends I fell head over heels for, I only had sex with three of them. And one of those times actually ruined the friendship, because every time we got together it became all about sex and nothing else. I mean, I think we had feelings for each other, but we weren't in LOVE. You know? And sex gets boring when you're not in love. Believe it or not, I was about 14 or 15 at the time, and some days I just wanted to play Super Nintendo instead. Like, "Come on, dude. AGAIN?" Weird.

 

I doubt I'd have to go into too much detail about my 'friend obsessions' as you've read about them in the stories for years now. Even Chris, from "A Class By Himself", which was one of the oddest experiences of my adolescent life. Because, truth be told, me and that boy had one hell of a love/hate relationship. Never had sex or even shared a kiss, and as far as I know, he's straight. But...ummm...yeah, that was weird. We HATED each other sometimes! I mean, we got into actual FIST FIGHTS on multiple occasions (Made for some interesting boy scout meetings and camping trips), but when we were friends? We were like BEST friends! And there were times when all the boys would have to sit in a semi circle and listen to the scout leader or whoever...and I'd stretch out and lay my head on Chris' thigh. Right there in front of everybody. And he would literally 'pet' my hair and tell me how soft it was, and it was the weirdest, most <I>intimate</I> thing ever. I don't even know if anybody noticed, but they never told us to stop, so...? ::Blush::

 

And of course, there was Mike. My best friend, Mike, who I met just before my freshman year of high school. That was love that I wasn't ready for at all. And we did EVERYTHING together (And Adam and Sam and Ariel, etc were around by this point), played games together, went to the movies together, got in fights together...I really REALLY fell for him hard! ::Blushes Even Harder::

We were friends all through high school, then when he went away to college for a while, then when he came BACK to Chicago and we got an apartment together, then after that, and I got to stand at his wedding, and I just spoke to him about a week ago on the phone! Nothing's changed. Not really. Hehehe, he's my husband whether he knows it or not. LOL!

 

I did come out to Mike eventually. He didn't believe that I was gay for almost two weeks. That was cool. :P It was us living in that tiny apartment together that made me build the Shack in the first place. The sexual frustration was INSANE! We're just <I>too</I> close, emotionally. Always will be.

 

Anyway, I'll stop this here before I let this get too long. But yes, I have not only fallen for my best friends in the past, but I think I've fallen for almost ALL of them at one point or another. It happens, I guess. And I wouldn't trade those days for anything!

 

One regret though...I really do think I could have gotten Ariel if I wasn't such a chicken! Seriously! He was shy, but...I always had a feeling about that boy. :)

wow,  I can totally relate , although never was ever able to express openly to anyone ( the times, you know.. Mid 60's, 70's) I did keep journals, and if my relationships in my journal had any validity to them.... You would think I was a male slut ... heheheeee! nope sorry not true.. Just how I dreamed things could and would be??? I'm seriously thinking I knew I was gay at 10 /11 years of age... My very best friend, con-fidont, and Secrete, aching  love  at first sight relationship .. ( yea I know.... He never knew) we shared each others Air for years ... yup .. tighter than any human could imagine.. every secrete we held as if it were each others heart we were carefully holding... Yea we were in love, he loved (my friendship ), and well I just LOVED everything about him! Harumph..... How disapointing  and un-full filling.. however my journals shared a more deeper provocative relationship even riscae ( alright DOWN RIGHT HOTTTTT !! .... Did I want to act on it...????? (WHAT DO YOU THINK?????........ UNDENIABLY YEEEEEEESS!! ( wow that felt good..... Like I just came out of the closet once again..) L.O.L if I ever would release any of that Material today.. it would in reality cause  all my relatives from now to Moses to be turning in their graves and <<BLUSHING>> while trying to catch their breath ..! ( HEY... I'VE ALWAYS BEEN THIS WAY , THEY WERE THE ONES IN-DENIAL) My imagination would make ME blush profusely ... Yea I was a little stinker, a gay one at that..... I'M sure if my "crushes" had read them, after the Heart attack they had suffered , I would have received an attack of my own.. NOT SO GOOD.. HEE, HEE.... So journals private, feelings of love private... Imagination....WILD!! ( just thinking out loud!!!!!!) any ways I can relate .. but it's time...  Just watch though Mores  coming... Only instead Of  "RED SHOE DIARIES" mine will be ... what else but... DMRman's " JOCKSTRAP DIARIES " ..I just have so many chapters.. what can I say? love  ya's /Hugz...

Edited by Dmrman
  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 9/14/2017 at 2:37 AM, William King said:

I think what you @Comicality describe is very natural, because it was exactly like that for me. Boys from school and boys who lived nearby, but I never had sexual feelings for my best friend who turned out to be straight. But there was Steven, Stevie, with his blond hair and blue eyes who lived down the street. We would have mock fights where we literally tumbled around together, we were all over each other and it felt great, but neither of us knew anything about sex, we were eight or nine years old.


There was Mark from school, another blond, his mother was German and quite strict. It all came to an end at his house where I was invited for his birthday party. I don't recall exactly what happened, but there were only a handful of boys there, it was a great party. But, I think he wanted to show off a bit, we all got into a pillow fight, and I knew we shouldn't be doing that. So it ended with one very angry German lady grabbing her son and spanking him in front of us, then we all got sent home.

 

Now Demetri had the cutest smile, he was a small kid for his age, with short jet black hair and his family were Greek Cypriot. We hung out together, we were both in the school football team, I still have the team photo, a bunch of ten year olds (I should dig it out). The climax of that relationship was an afternoon spent at his house, because whatever we started out doing we ended up whispering secrets and holding each other and getting quite close. It was just that one afternoon, but I still have the picture in my head of his bedroom and sitting there on his bed close to him. 

 

Things changed with puberty and growing up, I never lost the getting close to boys, but for several years it was on hold, because I was scared, dead scared that I might get found out for who I really was, and that would spoil everything – because deep down I knew I was different and that I must be the only boy like that, so I had to hide and keep my secret to myself, whatever the cost and heartache.

 

the cost and heartache... YEA.. we lived a different deeper darker life then didn't we? the shame everyone made sure we knew for those who were "THAT WAY" the pain and agony of keeping those secrets alone... creating longing and loneliness.... almost like gasping for air that wasn't there , and the inquiring minds asking " what's wrong with you? " knowing you could never say, or making up a complete and utter lie.... I guess it was their way of trying to appease and act like they really cared, or it really mattered ! Yea the lies began when children were to "be seen and not heard", and continued when they decided as a teen you needed therapy to try out why you were not like them  or why your not talking to them... because they spent your younger part of life telling us to shut up and be quiet?????? am I the only one that see's this as foolish, and stupid, and very Controlling ? what the H... is that about.....YEARS later the stupidity never , ever making sense... yet these people were Raising us to be pawns in there game ..... See this was the real secrete  and the real cost, and heartache...... that we were not allowed to be who we were..in reality they raised us as lies... the loves in my life let go of for the sake of ones who would say they love you, and yet if you were different they  would think nothing of disowning you.... sad times.... cheer up though , its getting better and will continue to get better because we prevailed to fight for another day... does not make the pain any less .... but it does make it worth it..

  • Love 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 9/13/2017 at 2:47 PM, MrM said:

Jon.

 

Jon was his name. Not 'John' but Jon. It might have been short for Jonathan, but that was never made clear to me.

I can't say that I was madly in love with Jon. At first we were just a couple of misfit toys that found each other in school. It was handy that he lived just down the hill from me. We were both Star Wars fanatics and so we had many a space adventure together. In our short time together we went from best friends/brothers to being 'interested' in each other as our bodies began having those kinds of feelings.

 

Nothing ever got that serious. One time it almost did in my back yard under the chinese elm tree, but my preternatually psychic mother called us in before we could go much further than grinding through clothing. Even though she couldn't see anything she knew something was going on though nothing of that nature had ever happened before. We were only 11 and 12 at the time so neither of us knew what we were doing or why. 

 

To this day I am haunted by that day. Wondering what could have become of us if we had continued. Probably a lot of drama and misery because later we were 'broken up' in an agreement between his parents and mine. Jon was going in a direction I couldn't go. He was starting to sniff around drugs and trouble. Shoplifting things. I think the end of it really came when Jon pulled his dad's gun out and started playing with it around me. This scared me. Also, he started playing with fire . . . literally. That was my mom's reasons anyway.

 

I have a feeling that Jon's dad's reasons were for something far less 'parental'. He sensed something was growing between his son and me that went beyond mere friendship. Jon was broken hearted and I was too though I turned very cold toward him. I had to. I was ordered to. I  . . . always followed orders. My mom was my Emperor and I was her Darth Vader slave. I also knew that Jon scared me. My feelings for him I couldn't understand and his bizarre and dangerous behavior was very disturbing.

 

During Jr. High I lost track of Jon. He tried many times to entice me back into his new world of Heavy Metal, Drugs, and a 'close' friend who,  strangely, was another blonde boy (highly unusual in my school being that I went to a minority school). But, by that time I'd made new friends and one, in particular, was trying to catch my eye. His name was Jose ('JOEseph'). That relationship too would die before it ever got anywhere, much to my lasting sadness. I was a 'good' boy then and had recognized through the vicious browbeating of others that what I was was called. 'Gay'. To be Gay, for me then, was to be 'wrong'. A pervert and mortal sinner (I was very religious then. A devout Catholic). It also meant certain death because AIDS had just risen to full power. That was all the proof I needed that God hated homosexuality. It was a preview of Judgement Day. It was the First Tribulation. So, when JOEseph (Jose) wanted to make that move on me at the sleepover when I was fourteen, I ran away from him, terrified and yet longing for that touch I could NEVER have! Because I WANTED Jose. I wanted him very much. But, to have him meant all manner of troubles for me, not the leasewise was eternal damnation. I became a pariah after that. Jose was very popular and the correct rumours about what I was only gained strength through his influence. A lover scorned can be a terrible thing.

 

Then High School came . . . but my Billy Chase never did.

I wait for him still. 

 

:heart:

I remember A wise young friend ( Oh yea... it was you !!) reminding me of Billy Chase , and how love isn't dead, Understanding clearly what your saying......How about we seek, and look, and wait for our  Billy together, cause he is coming, for you and for me.. the real question... ARE we ready for him to show... Cause you know he'll rock our world, and we need to be ready for that.. Right?? mean while we can be friends till it happens????

  • Love 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, Dmrman said:

I remember A wise young friend ( Oh yea... it was you !!) reminding me of Billy Chase , and how love isn't dead, Understanding clearly what your saying......How about we seek, and look, and wait for our  Billy together, cause he is coming, for you and for me.. the real question... ARE we ready for him to show... Cause you know he'll rock our world, and we need to be ready for that.. Right?? mean while we can be friends till it happens????

 

I am indeed ready and waiting. Right on my bed with my sexy little tushe stuck in the air! :P 

 

Oops! 

 

My chestnut hair is graying but I still have my greenish/hazel eyes and my long legs are better than ever! Thanks to Snowflake and his inspriation that I needed to do his cross-country ski training as my fitness regimen. Hehehe!

  • Love 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
51 minutes ago, MrM said:

 

I am indeed ready and waiting. Right on my bed with my sexy little tushe stuck in the air! :P 

 

Oops! 

 

My chestnut hair is graying but I still have my greenish/hazel eyes and my long legs are better than ever! Thanks to Snowflake and his inspriation that I needed to do his cross-country ski training as my fitness regimen. Hehehe!

TOO Much , I am laughing so hard ( didn't say I was .... Clarification) and I'm not a Billy, I had others call Me Bobby ( figure out the inuendo????? HA!:*) gray hair and green eye don't make a man ( but it nice to know... for real!!!!!) But My spelling issue might hit an all time high after that shocking but sweet introduction... YOU can probably see me blush from MICHIGAN.. a total eclips of my heart... I trully needed that response more than you know... OOOhh the Vapporsssss! Love ya:heart: whoa gotta go find my dictionary, you totaly messed what little litterary skills I had, have , or may ever own!!!!

  • Haha 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I had a crush on my best friend in the 6th Grade. We shared the same first name, so everyone would call us by our last initial, to differentiate. :gikkle: We weren't the type to play soccer or video games together. We never wrestled on the floor of my bedroom or had sleepovers. I just knew that for some reason, I liked him...a lot. He had blonde hair that looked like a mop of fresh straw, bright blue eyes, and a few freckles on his nose. Later, he got a pair of braces, which made him look even cuter. :wub: I noticed, when we used the urinals in the boys' room, that he looked different. (It was a Christian elementary school, and his atheist family had actually joined because the tuition was cheaper than public school, or so I overheard my mom saying to my dad.) This led to some innocent experimentation in a corner of the darkened classroom during two days' lunch detention. :blushing: Sadly, the sex education program we got in the 5th Grade was focused more on the religious side of things, rather than the mechanics of sex, so we didn't do much worth mentioning. Although we never socialized much outside of school, I felt very close to him, as if I could tell him anything....well, almost anything.

The 6th Grade class was very small; including myself, there were nine kids in total. The combined 7th and 8th Grade class was just a half-dozen people, by comparison. My twin brother decided that he had to be friends with ALL SEVEN of the other kids in our class, and he poached my friend away from me. :angry: Where before, he would talk to me in the mornings, sit with me at lunch, and hang out with me on the playground, my friend now ignored me, and rarely talked to me at all. For a whole week, I came home from school, went to my room, and cried silently into my pillow. All of the other kids in that class were jerks to me, and now I'd had my ONE FRIEND stolen from me! :,( Later, I attended a public middle school, and it couldn't have come soon enough. My brother, fortunately, stayed at the Christian school, where I wouldn't have to look at him. Not-so-fortunately, my former friend went to another school on the other side of town. I only saw him a few times after that, the last being when I tried to convince him to kiss me while we were sitting in my bedroom. A couple of years ago, I heard through the grapevine, that he was attending NMC, around the same time I did. I tried to find out what classes he was taking, or where I might run into him, but my efforts were blocked by administrative red tape and parental interference. :/ I regret not telling him how I felt sooner, and I do wish things could have turned out differently, but there's no point trying to change the past. Wherever he is, I hope he's as happy as I am.

Edited by Page Scrawler
  • Like 1
  • Wow 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
13 hours ago, William King said:

There are some good times in there @Dennis191, but the suicide is sad. My own best friend from childhood died pulling a stupid stunt, I'd known him since we were seven, then at just shy of 21, he was gone. Nothing to do with being gay or having a crush on him, he just happened to be my best friend for a number of years. Sad.

 

11 hours ago, Hunter Thomson said:

I can't imagine the pain of that kind of loss @Dennis191. I am truly sorry to hear that the ending was as tragic as it was.

 

  • Love 1
  • Sad 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, MrM said:

B-b-b-b-b Bobby Jeanette?

 

 

Huuh? what the heck? this is scary, all the flesh covered curb feelers even messed my computer up so bad it had to do a update, shut down and re boot...  and well let me just say.. Dell , he got a Latitude... scratch that.. an attitude and checked out for a minute .... Don't make sense cause .. Dell's Gay????? man, that was so extreme my nadds got shy, and I don;t know if I'll ever find them again...?? I can see our wait for Billy Chase... will cost me, and cost me dearly:o:huh: But Hey... I'm game .. I'll Just need new tactics to wait by..Hee,Hee,Hee  (we'll call it......? the game of thongs , instead of thrones).. WOW, just another reason.. I'm Gay... keep that up and I will be gay enough for the other half of Kalamazoo that is not!!!!!!!! yup  Nightmares tonight...:gikkle::blushing::puke::unsure2:

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

 

AWESOME, you guys!!! Thanks! :):):) 

 

I've collected all the stories, and I'll do my best to cut them down for a single article! (I won't be changing a single word! Promise! Hehehe, just want to have everybody's story told in a single post.)

 

That said, I LOVE reading about you guys! Hehehe, we're not so different after all!! :) 

  • Like 4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now


×

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our cookie and Privacy Policy.