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I love the first chapter ... a cliff hanger.. mad donkey's. It's wonderful.. but really.. rap???   What can't you do AC?  It was great!

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15 minutes ago, Mikiesboy said:

I love the first chapter ... a cliff hanger.. mad donkey's. It's wonderful.. but really.. rap???   What can't you do AC?  It was great!

Well, lol - I can do awful rap, like Napoleon Trueblood's, but it's the kind meant to make readers groan ;) 

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2 hours ago, AC Benus said:

Well, lol - I can do awful rap, like Napoleon Trueblood's, but it's the kind meant to make readers groan ;) 

oh it is very groan worthy which makes it perfect .. :D  

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AC either you showed me the pics with the stores before or you described them perfectly.

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So much of Los Angeles is boring at first glance. Great choice of location for Chapter 1! The church, Olvera Street, and Pico House all enrich the story. Just one thing: too much sun. I must mentally darken and fade the images of the Pico courtyard, transforming tourism-brochure sunlight into slightly spooky twilight. 

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Thoroughly enjoyed this chapter AC... brilliantly written. I'll be back for more!

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16 hours ago, MichaelS36 said:

Thoroughly enjoyed this chapter AC... brilliantly written. I'll be back for more!

Thank you, Mike! I sometimes wonder what I'd think reading this first chapter, not knowing any more of the story. I might think WTF...but hopefully I would feel drawn in and craving more information. 

 

Thanks again!

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1 hour ago, knotme said:

The guys lose track of each other, wander, and then bump into each other in the sex club in the cellar to Pico House. Looking beyond coincidence, I wonder if maybe both Kohl and Assauer seem like man-whores to two of the locals, who separately associated each of the guys with Carmina. The local woman sent Kohl directly there. (He did ask for it. :P) The local man might know the club well, and brought Assauer nearby for a blow job. Their clothes compare nicely to vulgar or ridiculous tourists. I figure it would have to be their demeanors. Maybe Kohl and Assauer have been hustling long enough to forget how they come off to strangers.

Hmmmmm, I wonder if anybody else speculated about this bumping into one another at the Carmina Club....

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The photographs, particularly of the church and Olvera Street, reflect your writing AC, vivid, detailed, and colourful.:thankyou:

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37 minutes ago, droughtquake said:

I still don’t know what to make of this story. It’s so different from the fluffy romances I usually read here on GA. No teenage angst.  ;-)

No, true. You'll meet Gordon tomorrow. He's the teenager of the story, but I suspect you'll soon see HE's the levelheaded one, lol. 

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1 hour ago, Dodger said:

The photographs, particularly of the church and Olvera Street, reflect your writing AC, vivid, detailed, and colourful.:thankyou:

Thanks, Dodger! This is very colorful corner of L.A., and I thought it was a great setting to launch the book. 

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I snickered at the word brunst. No need to look that one up. 

 

Is it used an in English context? I can't remember having seen it. 

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4 minutes ago, Puppilull said:

I snickered at the word brunst. No need to look that one up. 

 

Is it used an in English context? I can't remember having seen it. 

This is a double play on the expression "in a rut." The Brunst defines it as "that kind" of rut ;)

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