MESSAGE BOARD TOPIC #11

[Comicality]

The stories we've written and the stories we've read online, have become a part of our lives. For some, a BIG part of our lives. I know it has for me. The stories I've seen in the past few years have given me such a different outlook on things from what it was before. And I'm happy for that.

 

However, I HAVE received emails in the past from people who know that, most times, life is far from being the neat package that is portrayed in many of these stories. In fact, it is much more difficult than any story can describe. So the question for this week is...

 

=Are the stories we write, and the stories we read, giving a somewhat 'false' vision of what love and life is and what it should be?=

 

Have the internet stories become the 'Barbie Dolls' in the life of gay teens? Where they think they have to be that or live that or expect that in their relationships? Do you think these stories give false hope, or maybe raise expectations to a level that can never be met?

 

OR...should the stories be viewed as that magical situation that COULD happen to anyone at anytime? Maybe GIVING hope and a sense of confidence to those that are reading and have given up? Do you think that these stories show a sensitivity to teens that may not have known it was there before?

 

The board is open! Let's hear what you've got to say!

[Myr]

I've avoided that problem by writing only fantasies

[fear1980]

I find a certain amount of realism to be more erotic than any 10" erection or perfect blond guy with blue eyes and an amazing tan. I'd rather read about more normal, identifiable gay guys who might not be supermodels, but definitely have their own uniquely attractive qualities. I try to express this in my stories by exploring more off-beat plots and whatnot.

[Taima Matsumushi]

I'd have to agree with fear1980 on this one. When characters actually resemble human beings that most people are likely to meet, it tends to be easier to identify with them. I generally dislike the supermodel-type characters, unless it serves to make the character more interesting on more than a physical level (i.e. a character whose attractiveness makes it difficult to have serious relationships).

 

In my writing, I'll be the first to admit that it's a bit difficult to resist the temptation to do that, although I *think* I've done a fairly decent job so far (with the possible exception of Lucas, although part of the point is that he's spoiled in the relationship department). Luckily, my idea of what's attractive is often different from other peoples' (my friend and I constantly argue over which guys are hot--our tastes are SO different it's hilarious).

 

Plot-wise, whether or not it paints an unrealistic image of gay life, I'd say it depends on the story, obviously. Generally, the author makes it obvious what kind of story is going to be told, so unless it's billed as a realistic representation of love, etc. I'm not sure it's going to be a big problem, unless your point was that the line between realistic and incredibly idealized "Barbie Doll" stories is hard to pinpoint. In that case, I would only agree in the cases of very young readers (early to mid-teens, generally). Older readers often have a better point of reference to understand the way relationships work out in real life, possibly with the exception of the sex-fiends and uber-idealists common to humankind as a whole. I would argue that unless you're dealing with a very impressionable audience, the damage that might be done by unrealistic stories would probably be minimal. Otherwise, there isn't much you can do except hope for the best, I'd say.

[Comicality]

Well, I've always been partial to romance stories that end happily. (I'm a romantic, can't help it. Hehehe!) The whole point of the story is to make someone feel good. To give hope and possibly an air of magic to whoever is reading. So that someone who is in a similar situation might find some of the answers they're searching for. Maybe getting past some of that doubt and that fear, and taking a chance on something more.

 

Life ISN'T that easy. It hardly ever is. But I can honestly tell each and every one of you, that I can look back at my life in junior high and high school, and clearly SEE all of the possibilities and chances that I passed up because I let my pessimism get the best of me. Because I didn't believe it was possible. Because back then, there were no happy references for gay teens that I could draw from. None. If you kissed another guy, you got teased, outcast, and possibly beaten up. That was it, and everything I did, I felt like I was doing it blindfolded...hoping not to fall off of the tightrope. BUT...there were some times when I DID take that special chance, and I DID follow my instincts, and it turned out that the opportunity was there all the time. My first boyfriend, Jason, was GORGEOUS! Just tall, and blond, and light brown eyes...basketball team, nice ass, well endowed, sweet, funny, smart...I could have PASSED on that by being scared! And even in the middle of sex (Mmmmm...hours and HOURS of sex! Hehehe!), I'd be thinking "What the hell is this boy doing with ME???" and "How the f**K did I work THIS out???" So, sometimes that optimism may seem foolish, but it DOES happen! And I wanted people to know that, and maybe take a chance.

 

I have gotten emails from lots of teens who have had bad experiences with love and sex, and nothing is really 'happily ever after' in real life. But the stories aren't about that. The stories are about hope, and making an attempt to go for something that you want. They're about finding yourself and knowing that being happy is possible no matter what doubts you have. It won't be perfect, but it's not some intangible dream that can't be reached either. And I'm sure that many people have regrets right now about things they 'could have' done and 'should have' done or 'WOULD do' if they could go back again. If nothing else, the stories are made to show readers what could happen if they took a chance on instinct, and it just so happened to work out.

 

So no, I don't really see the online portrayal of love as a 'deception'. It's more of a motivation, and I hope that people see it as so.

[Frank Aiden Ryan]

I second Comsie. Sometimes you DO get what you want.

 

Seriously though, stories in our genre tend to be uplifting. That's just the way it is. I think the hope factor is really important. Most teens clamor for something to cheer them up, and there are guys out there that really DO feel lonely. This is escapism, but it's also a way of encouragement. I've yet to see someone write a story about gay love between two boys who are NOT attractive, but there are so many cute guys out there with great personalities, looks and bodies that are too insecure to move out of the corner that it baffles me.

 

Personally speaking as a writer, I detest writing like it's all sugar and honey and bliss. My characters have insecurities of their own, problems and shortcomings of their own. Crap does happen in their lives and they deal with it. Period. That's the fun of it. Here's a question for some of those who are familiar with my work: Ever notice how GETTING love in my main story was never really an issue? There's never any doubt about Robbie's love for Jason. It's a given fact. Jason feels the same, they're nuts about eachother and that's it. Still, I was able to fill 12 chapters, with more than 12 still planned, on working with that love and dealing with it. It's never a question of FINDING... Jace found it in chapter one. That's where I start. The rest of the story is about KEEPING it. Living with it, enjoying it, playing with it, being with it.

 

Let's put it this way: Jason was never lonely till he met Robbie. After he met Robbie, a void inside of him was filled that he didn't even know he had.

 

Still, those out there who have trouble finding love should stop LOOKING for it. It just happens, as long as you take that chance, kick fate's ass, go for it. Feel lonely? Get away from that keyboard and do something about it. Talk to people. Be everything you wanted to be. I'm sure there's a Tyler Durden in every one of you self proclaimed lonely people out there.

 

As for my stories... My boyfriend accuses me sometimes of writing about my own life before it actually happens. he's much like Robbie. my best friend's just like Vince. there's been another person in my life a couple of months that caused the same friction as Scott did. Honestly, think I'm making up that stuff I write about? No way. I'm writing about stuff that has really happened to me, spiced up a bit for romance.

 

It's NOT perfect. It never will be.

 

But oh, is it ever fun.

[fear1980]

I agree that stories should, by and large, have a happy ending.

 

There are plenty of people out there that like a more downtrodden, noir-style ending but I just can't get into a story in retrospect if the ending is sad. On top of that, most stories that have sad or dark endings seem to be a little too "Look at this maudlin ending! Who are you not to cry?!" self-aware. Topics like one lover dying or killing themself due to savage, horrible, mean, wrong, awful homophobia or two star crossed lovers killing themselves together in a Romeo and Juliet style tragedy are, forgive me for saying so, but played out. In my opinion at least.

 

It's very true that sometimes you get what you want. I find stories that, while they have elements of realism (homophobia, non-understanding parents, relationship squabbles) but ultimately are pretty optimistic about the idea of two guys in love are much more enjoyable to read.