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TetRefine last won the day on August 25 2016

TetRefine had the most liked content!

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2,171 Maybe I Should Publish


About TetRefine

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    Young Old Timer

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    Philadelphia, PA

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  1. TetRefine

    Inverted at Work? - a plea for advice

    You and me sound like we have very similar personalities. Like you, I'm a somewhat introverted person. Like you, I'm not shy and don't mind attention sometimes but not always. At work, a lot of people think I'm more introverted than I really am. I work almost exclusively with married, middle-aged women with kids. Not exactly a demographic a 26 year old guy can relate to easily. Ironically the person I am closest to and relate the most with is a 57 year old, never-married woman with a brash, in-your-face personality of sorts. I don't get it, but we click for whatever reason. Luckily my relatively reserved personality at work doesn't preclude me from showing my competence. When I'm surrounded by friends, at a bar/club, or brunch I'm a much more outgoing and personable person. For you, you live in a city full of hyper-competitive, brash people who view others as a threat to their own survival. New York is a tough city to survive in, let alone thrive in. I may not live there but I spend enough time up there to get what it's like. You say you're about to leave the job, so my advice would be to just survive until then. You've realized you can't thrive in that kind of environment so it is definitely time to start looking for something new. But....as you know entry level jobs are incredibly competitive in New York because everyone and their mother is applying for them as a way to get a foothold in New York. So if I were you I wouldn't quit until you had a guaranteed new job lined up. And you probably know too, entry level jobs treat you like a slave, and that is doubly true for New York. They know they have you by the balls and can replace you in a heartbeat, so finding one that will accommodate a student schedule is probably slim to none. You can pick between money/grades/having a life, but you will probably only get two of the three. I got let go from my first job after college within a year, and I was basically forced to take another job with lower pay and a much lower level of responsibility. I sucked it up for a year and used that job to survive until I landed at the amazing job I have now. It was competitive and exhausting getting into that job, but it was worth the struggle to get there. There are plenty of jobs that value introverted and analytical people. Part of the reason I thrive in teaching is because I have both those traits. You just have to find what you're interested in and compete like hell to prove they should give you a shot. You're going to be competing in the most competitive job market in the country, so do something that makes you stand out. Welcome to life in BosWash. It can be a real tough bitch sometimes.
  2. TetRefine

    Epiphany... Say, What?!

    I learned a couple months ago that there are different kinds of numbered plastics, and only certain ones are recyclable. I thought they were all recyclable, and had no ideas there were different numbers for different kinds.
  3. TetRefine

    LGBTQ Anthems

    This Is Me was named the Pride Song of 2018 by The Advocate magazine. The lyrics sing as if it were written for the LGBT community. I've heard this upbeat remix version played at almost every single party I've been to this year, and 3 times in one night over Pride weekend. It's one of those songs that just makes you wanna paint yourself in rainbows and dance through the streets. 😛 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P6VZuWtm9H8
  4. TetRefine

    LGBTQ Anthems

    I remember the first time I watched this video, and seeing the struggle of the teenage boy in the video. I quietly cried to myself. It was so relatable. I haven't watched this music video in awhile, and seeing it again brings up so many different emotions. Thanks for posting!
  5. TetRefine

    LGBTQ Anthems

    In no particular order... -Born This Way (Lady Gaga) -Go West (Village People) -YMCA (Village People) -Macho Man (Village People) -This Is Me (From, The Greatest Showman) -It's Raining Men (Weather Girls) -Dancing Queen (Abba) -Believe (Cher) -Finally (CeCe Pendleton) -Free (Ultra Nate) -Smalltown Boy (Bronsky Beet) -RESPECT (The immortal Aretha Franklin) -Freedom '90 (George Michael) -I Wanna Dance With Somebody (Whitney Houston) -Sissy That Walk (RuPaul) -I Will Survive (Gloria Gaynor) -I'm Coming Out (Diana Ross) -Pride: A Deeper Love (Aretha Franklin) I could go on and on. So many classics from so many decades, and they keep on coming!
  6. TetRefine

    Who is Your Favorite Gay Icon?

    I'm not sure if this counts because he is fictional, but the character of Malone from Andrew Holleran's Dancer From The Dance. His struggle and wanderings through life searching for something he (un)consciously denied himself was a breathtaking story, and one I can very personally relate to. If we are talking real life, then Lady Gaga. When her song Born This Way came out in 2011, I was a 19 year old, mostly closeted college freshman. That song was one of my inspirations for beginning to come out.
  7. TetRefine

    New York City

    Another Philadelphian!
  8. TetRefine

    New York City

    I don't live in New York, but grew up in a family of born and bred New Yorkers, and have been a frequent visitor of the city for as long as I've been alive. I go about 12-15 times a year, and am pretty familiar with the city. So I may be of some use if you can't find others.
  9. TetRefine


    It was one hell of an amazing night.
  10. TetRefine

    My Stuff

  11. Sending summer out with a bang tomorrow at Alegria NYC! :D

  12. TetRefine

    Should there be only "Gay" places?

  13. TetRefine

    Should there be only "Gay" places?

    I can't think of anything that was once gay that got better when it became more "mixed". I'll use my once-favorite club here as an example. When I first started going in college, it was almost entirely gay and the best place to drink, dance, cruise, and hang out. Starting about a year and a half ago, more and more straight women started to show up because they realized gay clubs are just better and there are no straight men to bother them. The atmosphere slowly began to change as more and more women invaded the space. When things really started to go downhill was when the straight men began showing up with their girlfriends. Suddenly there were more fights, more sloppy behavior, and a much more "I'm insecure so I have to act super macho" attitude that has completely ruined the place. In the space of a year and a half, it went from the most popular gay club in the city to one where very few go anymore. I spend most of my day in a straight world surrounded by straight people doing things by straight-decided rules. I want to spend some time around people who just get it in an atmosphere created and ruled by our version of life. We screwed ourselves by begging straight people to accept us by using the "we're just like you" tag as a tool. Now our once unique identity and culture is being overrun and watered down by those very people we begged to accept us in the first place. God forbid straight people can't have 100% of the world. 😒
  14. TetRefine

    Do You Identify As Gay?

    Me either, although I wouldn’t rule myself out of trying it at some point though. But yeah, most of my gay friends have never touched the V so I don’t think it is all that odd.
  15. TetRefine

    Do You Identify As Gay?

    You mean that never having slept with a woman before makes you an oddity in the gay community?

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