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TetRefine last won the day on August 25 2016

TetRefine had the most liked content!

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2,111 Maybe I Should Publish


About TetRefine

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    Young Old Timer

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    Philadelphia, PA

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  1. TetRefine

    Do You Identify As Gay?

    Me either, although I wouldn’t rule myself out of trying it at some point though. But yeah, most of my gay friends have never touched the V so I don’t think it is all that odd.
  2. TetRefine

    Do You Identify As Gay?

    You mean that never having slept with a woman before makes you an oddity in the gay community?
  3. TetRefine

    Do You Identify As Gay?

    Thank you to everyone who responded. It was definitely an eye-opening and very interesting thread to follow.
  4. TetRefine

    Do You Identify As Gay?

    Okay yes, but that pertains to all facets of society. If a foreigner only watches Hollywood movies, then they would think that America consists of nothing but New York and LA, everyone is a 9.5/10, and we're all rich. It is the lived reality of the people who produce those kinds of things, but yes it doesn't pertain to 95% of actual Americans. I made the same mistake in my initial post in assuming my gay experience was one that was more common then it is. I assumed that gay life in America was what I see in the Northeast and California, neglecting the fact that most of us don't live there and don't live that kind of life. Hence why I revised my original statement and got a nice reminder that my lived experience is my own and not always reflective of the majority. One of the reasons I asked this question on here is because so many of the people on GA are not like the people I know in real life. They don't live in big cities, they aren't necessarily party animals, and have a much wider variation of interests and backgrounds.
  5. TetRefine

    Do You Identify As Gay?

    Hearing this, and also seeing it myself in real life, makes me happy like no other. It is crazy to see how fast things have changed from when I graduated high school just 8 years ago. I can't wait for the day where no gay kid has to go through what I and so many others did growing up.
  6. TetRefine

    Do You Identify As Gay?

    Okay, I think some people misunderstood the question I was trying to ask. Also, after rereading what I wrote, I (unintentionally) defined what "being gay" is based solely on my own personal experiences. That was not my intention, but it's how it came out. My experience being gay is entirely within a very cosmopolitan, big city lifestyle with very established and diverse gay communities. Living here in Philadelphia, and traveling frequently to places like New York and other gay meccas, it is very easy to live what many people think of as a gay lifestyle. Aside from work, almost everything I am a part of has "gay" as a qualifier. So yes, I let my own limited worldview on what being gay means bias my own question and I can see why some people who don't live that life would feel left out of this thread. I guess the more accurate question would be: "What does being gay/LGBT/other mean to you?"
  7. TetRefine

    Do You Identify As Gay?

    Nope, that makes perfect sense and the kind of answers I am interested in hearing about that fall outside the two ends of the spectrum. Just about everyone I know in my own life is either just a guy who has sex with other guys, or someone who fully embraces the identity. So it is interesting to hear about more grey areas.
  8. TetRefine

    Do You Identify As Gay?

    I'm curious to know how many people on here identify as a part of the gay community versus how many just identify as having same sex attractions without feeling a part of the larger, cultural gay community. For example, I personally identify as gay and very much feel a part of the larger gay community. Most of my friends are gay, I go to a mostly-gay gym, I play in a gay sports league, I go to gay bars/clubs/circuit parties, and whenever I travel I make it a point to check out the local gay scene. What I love about being gay in the cultural sense is that no matter where you go, you already have an established tribe/community that you can find support in through shared identity. I've found in my post-college years is that we are a community that tends to protect our own, and we've created our own institutions separate from the straight world to fulfill that purpose. It's ghettoization to an extent, but after living in the stuffy confines of straight life for so long, I've found that this much smaller community offers freedom to a level and in a particular way that people who aren't a part of it will never get to experience. So where do you fit in, or not at all?
  9. TetRefine

    Song of the moment

    Generally I'm not a fan of Kesha but this one is good.
  10. TetRefine

    Tips for flirting with someone still in the closet

    This is the best piece of advice. Definitely head it.
  11. TetRefine

    Song of the moment

    So much soul in this song. I love it!
  12. TetRefine


    Wow, you really do look a hell of a lot thinner! 👍
  13. TetRefine

    Which do you prefer in your romance?

    If I read romance, I guess I prefer M/M because it is what I can relate to in real life. Generally when I read realistic fiction, I need to be able to relate to it from my own life to stay interested. I can't relate to anything in my life other then M/M relationship wise, so I'd have no interest in any other kind of relationship. Though to be honest I don't like popular romance in general. It almost always follows a easily predictable style and plot and wraps everything up neatly and perfectly in the end. Real life relationships, and real life in general, are rarely ever as happily-ever-after as romance portrays them as. But then again, maybe that is part of the appeal as it offers a more happy escape from the harsher realities.
  14. Jeremy, he had 5 Super Bowl rings already, and is playing as well at 39 as he was at 29. What happened this year is a moot point. He is, undisputedly, the Greatest Of All Time.
  15. TetRefine

    Song of the moment

    This remix is amazing.

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