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About huktaunluv

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  1. Please come back! I need to know what happens to Aaron and Slade. I like the revisions you made to the story. It's more well-rounded, and balanced. I hope you do finish the story. I have my fingers crossed. 

  2. Michael's POV

    Seven months earlier on New Year’s Eve afternoon: “C’mon, Jase. Come to the party with us,” I state, reaching into the fridge for a bottle of water. “Nah, I won’t know anyone there. These are your and Kenny’s friends. Besides, why would you want your little brother hangin’ around you and your boyfriend all night?” Jason asks, leaning against the kitchen counter. “Dude, first off, I’m 6’2” and you’re 6’3”, you’re not my little brother anymore. Second, you’ve been in a funk since you’ve been home, and it’d be nice to see the old Jason again. Third, I can’t leave you here alone and have fun at this party,” I answer crossing the kitchen to stand in front of him. “Fourth, I’m gonna keep hounding you until you say that you’ll go. So, just say ‘yes’ and save me the time.” With a pitiful sigh, Jason says, “Fine, I’ll go. But don’t expect to have fun with a third wheel hangin’ around you all night.” “You’re not a third wheel, Jase. You’ll see. This’ll be a night you won’t forget,” I say punching his shoulder lightly, and leave the kitchen. Turning the corner, I hear Jason mutter, “I doubt it.” <><><><><><> The party’s in full swing, when the three of us arrive a few hours later. I feel good. Kenny’s looking extra sexy tonight. I never thought I would fall for a 5’10”, nerdy, metal head, dance major, but I have. Six months ago, he caught my eye one late afternoon in June, when he sat across from me in a small café in Berlin, and I couldn’t keep my eyes off him. He wore his hair in a pale green faux-hawk, had eyebrow and lip rings, his nails painted black, and wearing black eye makeup. He wore tight black jeans, green high-top sneakers, and a white t-shirt of one of my favorite bands, Sevendust. He was reading, ‘The Stand’ by Stephen King, and seemed completely engrossed in it, so I watched him. I didn’t think he noticed me until he looked up and smiled. The brightness of his gray eyes behind his wire-rimmed glasses nearly knocked me over. He closed the book and said, “You know, you’re making it very hard to focus on reading with the way you’re staring at me.” I felt the embarrassment course its way through me settling in my cheeks. I must’ve blushed heavily because his smile widened. I blurted out, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to stare and skeeve you out.” “Don’t worry about it. I have green hair and wearing black shit all over my eyes. I should be used to the stares,” he said, picking the book back up, and chortled. “My boyfriend tried to get me to dial back on it, but I couldn’t break the habit, and he dumped me, the jagoff.” The mention of a boyfriend made me sit up straighter. “No, I was looking at your shirt. They’re one of my favorite bands,” I replied trying to keep the conversation going. His eyebrow arched with skepticism. “Really? What’s your favorite song?” “Uh, ‘Rain’.” He seemed impressed and placed his book back on the table. “That’s actually in my top three.” I leaned forward and asked, “So what’s your favorite?” “It’s ‘Shadows in Red’,” he answered. “That’s in my top three. Do you wanna join me? I have a bigger table,” I say pointing to the chair across from me. He thought for a couple of seconds before he picked up his bag, book, and coffee and joined me. I hold out my hand. “Mike.” He takes me hand and I feel a surge of energy flow through me. “Kenny.” From that point on, we were inseparable, and learned a lot about each other. He told me how he discovered his passion for dancing. I told him about my love for basketball. And about the injury that stole my scholarship. The most interesting tidbit of information we learned was we live about four hours apart, and we were about to attend the same university. It was kismet meeting Kenny. The more we hung out the less I thought about Jason. I found my salvation. <><><><><><> Back at the party, Kenny grabs my hand and we walk over to our group of friends. I look back for Jason. He hangs off to the side with his hands in his pockets looking sheepish. He’s shy in social situations, but I know once he loosens up, he’ll enjoy himself. I beckon him over. When he stands next to me, I throw my arm around his shoulder, and bring him in close. I ignore the subtle smell of his shampoo and body spray as it fills my nose. “Hey, ladies, fellas, I wanna introduce you to my brother. This is Jason,” I holler over the music. There are a few quick ‘hey’ and ‘what’s up?’ I point them out to him. “Jase, that’s Tony, Lacey, Becca, Everett, Sean, Christina, Lewis, Simone, Eddie, Dom, and Grooves.” “Your name’s Grooves?” Jason asks, and the group chuckles. “Yeah, it’s for my sick moves,” Grooves replies doing a few dance steps that make everyone whoop. He holds out his hand to Jason. “Real name’s Matthew, but no one calls me that, got it?” Jason nods and smiles. “Got it.” “I’m gonna grab a drink. Cowboy, do you want something?” I ask turning to Kenny. Although, he was born and raised on a farm, Kenny acts and looks nothing like the traditional cowboy. It’s fitting for him. “Same as you, Schatz,” he replies with his German term of endearment for me. Turning to Jason, I ask, “What about you?” He shakes his head and says, “I’m good, Mikey.” I leave Kenny with Jason to grab our drinks. When I return a couple minutes later, I hand Kenny his drink, and he moves in closer to me. Kissing him on the forehead, I catch Jason watching us with an odd look on his face, and he quickly looks away. I’ve caught him looking at us like that a few times. It’s not as if he hasn’t seen us together. A week before he headed off to California, the three of us hung out, and everything seemed fine. Jason didn’t seem weirded out seeing me with Kenny. Three years ago, I told him I was gay, but he’d come out to me a couple years earlier. Jason’s only had one relationship, a girlfriend he pretended to be straight for during his senior year. It baffled me. Why date a girl when you’re gay? I honestly don’t know why he dated her. What really surprised me was he slept with her after prom, but it was only because he felt he owed it to her for wasting her time. “Mike, what’s wrong?” Kenny asks breaking into my thoughts. “Jase is acting funny again,” I answer taking a sip of my beer. “He has this weird look on his face whenever he looks at us. Wish I knew what was going on with him.” “He might be feeling left out,” Kenny states simply. “Mike, we’ve gotten closer these past three months since he’s been away, and he’s not used to the changes yet. You’ve been close your entire lives, and I’m stealing the attention he’s used to having. But I think once he starts dating, his attitude will change, and he won’t act so weird around us. Don't worry. Your brother's hot. He'll find someone.” Oh, hell, no! “I don’t want him to… you know what? Forget it. Let’s dance,” I say, leading him through the sea of bodies moving to the music. Dancing will help put Jason out of my thoughts. Kenny grinds his ass suggestively against my crotch as we dance. He reaches back to grab my hardening bulge, and rubs it slowly. He turns to face me, wraps his arms around my neck, and kisses me softly. I can taste the faint mix of his spearmint mouthwash and the beer he drank. His strong hands travel down grasping my ass and pulls me in closer to him. We dance this way for several songs until we sway slowly not caring about the fast pace of the music that’s playing. He’s wearing a long jacket, and it hides the hand I have inside his pants, as I lightly finger fuck him as we dance. He has his face buried in my neck, and his warm panting breaths ghost across my sweaty skin sending shivers through me. He whimpers several times when he rocks his hips causing my finger to delve deeper. The feel of his tongue on my neck has me rubbing hard against him. Kenny tilts his head back slightly, and whispers wantonly, “I want your cock inside me.” I smirk down at him. "Do you think you can handle it?" I groan when he grabs my cock aggressively. "You gonna give me this dick or do I go get it from someone else?" With that said, he tugs on my cock and walks away, tossing me that 'come fuck me' look over his shoulder. I follow closely behind, trying my best to keep from throwing him over my shoulder, and carrying him away caveman style. We head upstairs in search of an empty bedroom. We’re lucky finding one on the third try. I lock the door, pick Kenny up, and toss him on the bed. I pull out a condom and a small tube of lube from my pocket, and throw them on the bed next to him. I strip quickly watching Kenny’s gray eyes darken with lust as I discard each article of clothing. He growls reaching for me and engulfs my 6.5” hard cock in his mouth. Grabbing the sides of his head, I thrust slowly but deeply. His moans reverberate around my already engorged cock making my knees partially buckle. Fisting his natural strawberry blond hair in my hands, I tug his head back and kiss him hard. Pulling him to his feet, I take off his jacket and shirt, unbuckle his pants and push them down. His seven-inch cock juts towards me waiting for the warmth of my mouth to wrap its way around it. I kiss and lick my way down his chest. His cock jerks as I flick the underside with the tip of my tongue repeatedly. “Oh damn, Mike,” he moans, sitting on the bed, and places a hand on the back of my head. “You like that?” I ask, teasing the tip with a languid swirl of my tongue. “I fucking love it,” he answers through gritted teeth, and his head falls back. “Mmm, don’t stop.” “Move back,” I order roughly. Once he’s in the middle of the bed, I maneuver to my knees and slide a finger inside him and he moans. His hips writhe sensually, and his cock moves deeper in my mouth, as he rides my finger. The introduction of a second finger only makes him buck harder. His hands grip wildly at the blanket on the bed. He tightens the grip his ass has on my fingers. “You want this ass, don’t you?” he asks licking his lips. “You want this tight ass to fuck you ‘til you come?” The desire to be inside him is overwhelming, I look in to his hazy eyes, and say, “Yeah, I want that tight ass ‘round my fat cock. I want you so bad.” "Then take me," Kenny whispers. Cupping the sides of my face, he pulls me down on top of him. I wrap an arm around his waist and flip us so he’s on top. He leans back grabbing the condom and lube. He rips the condom foil open with his teeth, and slithers down. Once he’s over my swollen member, he proceeds to sheath the latex on me with his mouth. “Shit that was so fucking hot,” I mutter, rubbing my chest and tweaking my nipples. He winks, turns around with his ass up in the air facing me, and slides two fingers inside that luscious ass of his. I watch in awe as he whimpers while fingering himself. His head rests on the bed looking back at me, and he can barely keep his eyes open. Kenny removes his fingers, sucks on them, and places them in my mouth. He doesn’t turn to face me, as he slowly impales himself on my rock-hard sword, and whimpers, “Fuck, you’re so big, Mike.” The erotic sway of his hips as he rocks back and forth has my toes curling. My hand moves up and down his back before settling on his hips. My grip is so tight that I can see the imprints of my hands on his pale flesh. He plants his feet on the bed, leans back, and bounces with the expertise of a man who knows what he's doing. The warm intense grip of his ass holds every promise that I’ll be coming soon. I pull him back against my chest, licking and sucking on his earlobe. It’s a good thing the music is loud or the whole house would hear his lustful moans echoing off the walls. Kenny’s flexibility allows him to turn effortlessly around to face me while I’m deep inside him. He does this twerking bounce move that always drives me crazy. My deep groans become louder with every bounce. Gripping, slapping, and rubbing his ass, I growl, “Yeah, ride that dick, cowboy.” The look in his eyes is so freaking hot, as his hair falls forward framing his face. I tuck it back behind his ears, and he smiles sexily. I put Kenny on his back with his legs pinned to his chest. My slower thrusts make him whimper, and I know I’m hitting his sensitive gland. He grips my arms with his nails digging in my flesh. “Mike, harder. Fuck me,” he moans. Going harder makes his mouth widen, eyes close, and he bares his neck to me. I don’t hesitate sucking and nipping my way across his neck. I lick the shell of his ear, and feel him shudder beneath me several times. “You wanna come, cowboy?” I ask seductively with my face an inch above his. Kenny bites his bottom lip and nods. “How bad do you wanna come?” “So fucking bad,” he mewls. I lean back to take over the stroking of his cock, and suck on his toes. “Yes. Yes. Right there.” “You gonna come with my cock inside you?” “Mm-hmm,” he answers brokenly, when I thrust all the way in and grind our hips together repeatedly. He rakes his nails down my back, bites my shoulder, and cries out, “Oh fuck!” The fury of the pace in which I fuck and stroke him intensifies. The first splatter of cum hits his chest, and then he shoots several more times. My forehead presses lightly against his as we kiss. I let the rush of his orgasm wane a little before I fuck him harder. I come not soon after collapsing on top of him with gasping breaths. Kenny strokes my back and kisses the side of my face and neck. “I love you, Mike,” he whispers in my ear. My heart skips a beat. This is the first time anyone outside my family has told me they love me. I’ve known for a little while that I love him, but thought it was too early to tell him. I prop myself up onto an elbow, gaze into his eyes, and kiss him tenderly before declaring, “I love you, too, Kenny.” He sighs happily and smiles. “Good, you have no idea how nervous I was telling you.” My eyebrows and forehead furrow. “Why were you nervous?” “I don’t know. You’ve been with other guys, but I am your first boyfriend. I guess with everything you told me about what you went through last year, I thought you might not be as serious about me, as I am about you,” he mumbles, looking down. Tilting his head up, I say, “Cowboy, believe me, I’m serious about you. Meeting you changed my life in a way I wasn’t expecting. You’ve made me feel things I never thought was possible. You make me happy.” “You make me happy,” Kenny states. We kiss passionately before he puts his head on my shoulder. “Can we just lay here for a little while longer?” I wrap an arm around him, and kiss the top of his head. We lay together, talking and giggling about little things. We reluctantly get dressed and head back down to the party a few minutes later. <><><><><><> Once we’re back downstairs, I can’t hide the goofy smile on my face. A few knowing smiles from our friends make me smile even wider. Then I remember Jason. Where is he? He catches my eye when I walk in to the kitchen. He’s talking to someone hidden behind the door on the back porch. I’m about to walk over when Jason’s anonymous lothario leans in and kisses him. My heart drops. I watch Jason grip the waist of his kissing partner, and pull him in closer. I don’t want to see anymore, so I turn and walk away, making a beeline back to Kenny. I can’t let this ruin what’s been an amazing night for me. I have a man I love and he loves me too. I can’t keep pining over Jason. We’ll never be together. “Did you find Jason?” Kenny asks upon my return. “Uh, yeah. He’s making out with some guy on the back porch.” His eyebrows raise is surprise. “Really? In this weather? It’s like 20 degrees outside.” “I guess whoever’s out there is keeping him warm enough,” I answer sarcastically with a touch of curtness. Kenny doesn’t pick up on my attitude. “Schatz, this could be good for him. This could be the guy he says, ‘I love you’ to in six months.” “Great. That’d be awesome,” I say with a fake smile. I hug Kenny close to keep him from seeing the tear in my eye, and I quickly wipe it away. <><><><><><> It’s Grooves. That was who was out on the porch with Jason. I know Grooves is bisexual, but it never occurred to keep him and Jason apart. What was I thinking? They’re both good looking. Jason with his tall swimmer’s body, blond hair, hazel eyes, and loveable nature. Grooves standing at six-feet tall, toned build, brown hair, blue eyes, and a great sense of humor. I watch them out the corner of my eye as they dance. Grooves is all over him, and Jason seems to love the attention. My jealousy starts to mount, but I can’t do anything about it. My jaw hurts from clenching so hard. My nails dig achingly into the palm of my hands. I want to scream, ‘Keep your fucking hands off him!’ But that wouldn’t bode well for me. The crowd groans when the music stops abruptly. “Yeah, yeah, I know. Listen up, everyone. The countdown’s about to start soon. Make sure you’re with the person you want to kiss at midnight,” the Deejay announces over the mic. The crowd whoops excitedly. Kenny and I move over to where Jason and Grooves are standing. “’Sup, bro?” Jason slurs slightly when he sees us approach. “How much have you had to drink, Jase?” I ask disapprovingly. “Enough to tell you that I love you,” Jason says with a smile. I think to myself, ‘Yeah, I know you do. It’s just not in the way that I want you to.’ “Cowboy, I think I should get him home,” I announce, glancing between Jason and Grooves. “Okay, but can it wait for another twenty seconds?” Kenny says, linking our fingers together, and stepping in closer. Looking into his eyes, I see all the love he has for me in them, and I know that I’m not being fair to him. He deserves all of my attention. I nod. The Deejay starts the countdown, “Ten, nine, eight…,” the crowd joins in, “seven, six, five, four, three, two, one… HAPPY NEW YEAR!” Auld Lang Syne plays as I kiss Kenny with everything I have in me. His arms wrap around my waist. He nips and sucks on my bottom lip playfully, holding me tighter, and it feels so good. When the kiss ends, I place my forehead to his and kiss the tip of his nose, and whisper, “Best New Year’s of my life. I love you, cowboy.” Kenny sighs contently. “I love you, too, Schatz,” With my eyes closed, I feel Kenny turn his head, and he asks, “Where’d Jason and Grooves go?” <><><><><><> “He’s old enough to take care of himself, Mike. How do you know it wasn’t Jason who dragged Grooves away?” Kenny asks trailing behind as we climb the stairs. “You wouldn’t go after your sister if she were drunk and off with some guy she just met?” I toss over my shoulder. “Kenny, he’s never been with a guy before. I don’t want his first time to be with someone he’s only known for two hours. I didn’t know the guy I slept with my first time and I regret it. My head wasn’t in the right place and neither is Jason’s. I don’t want him to regret this in the morning.” “Grooves’ a good guy,” Kenny states. “He’d be an idiot to try something with you in the house.” “You saw them together. They were all over each other. I don’t know what Grooves would do if Jason tries to stop him from going further than he’s willing to go,” I answer. I frantically search the rooms finding them in the same room Kenny and I used earlier. They’re partially clothed with Grooves grinding his jean-clad crotch slowly against Jason’s. Who has his eyes closed and moans while Grooves licks and kisses his neck. The sight of him wrapping his legs around Grooves waist has me fuming. “Grooves, get the fuck off him,” I yell, yanking him back by his jeans. “He’s drunk. What wrong with you?” “What the hell, Chambers? We were only making out,” he says, standing up. “I’d never take advantage of anyone who was out of it. That’s not my style.” “Hey, Mikey. I gonna get laid like you did tonight,” Jason announces loudly. “C’mon, Grooves, let’s give them a show.” He sits up quickly and looks dazed. “Jase, you okay?” I ask, moving towards him. “I’m gonna be sick.” With that he leans over the side of the bed and vomits. He looks flushed and sweaty when he stops. He turns to Grooves, wipes his mouth, and mutters, “Ok, I’m ready.” Grooves shakes his head, but not in disgust. He reaches over and tenderly brushes back Jason’s hair. “I don’t think so. You should let your brother take you home. Here,” he says, taking Jason’s phone from the nightstand. “Here’s my number. Call me. We can hang out again. Okay?” “Sure, whatever,” Jason says, looking rather disappointed. He takes his phone from Grooves hand. Grooves grabs his shirt and shoes. He looks to me and says, “Sorry, man. I swear we wouldn’t have done anything else.” I just nod. He departs and I turn to Kenny. “I think we should get going. I’m gonna get him cleaned up. We’ll see you downstairs in a couple minutes.” He kisses me and takes the keys from my pocket. “I’ll go warm up the car.” With that he turns and exits the room. Jason groans and I turn my attention to him. Sitting next to him on the bed, I ask, “Are you okay, Jase?” He puts his head on my shoulder. “Mikey, I wanna go home. Take me home.” After getting him cleaned up and clothed, we meet Kenny at the car, and drive in near silence. Kenny takes my hand and I kiss the back of his. I pull up to his place an hour later. Turning to him, I give him a pathetic smile. “I’m sorry about tonight, cowboy. I was so worried about Jason that I ruined our night. Hey, let me get him home, and I’ll come back.” He shakes his head. “No, you look after your brother. If your folks find him like this, you’re both in trouble. Come over in the afternoon alright?” “That I can definitely do. I’ll call you when I get home.” Kenny nods. He kisses me softly, and quietly calls out, “Jason, I hope you feel better.” Jason grunts loudly in response. “Love you,” I whisper to him. “Love you,” he replies. <><><><><><> Jason is deadweight getting him into the house. It’s a good thing our parents are still out because he’s making a lot of noise. Once we’re in his room, he falls on his bed with a thud, and curls up in a ball. Groaning heavily, I sit on his bed to take off his shoes. “I love you, Mikey,” he mutters. “I love you, too,” I reply. “No,” Jason whines, trying to sit up. He gets upright, grabs my shirt, and stares into my eyes. “I love you. I love you more than a brother, bonehead.” I gasp having had the wind knocked out of me. He didn’t confess his love for me… did he? A flood of emotions flow through me all at once: anger, anxiousness, surprise, and euphoric. But I’m mostly angry. Wrestling his hands from my shirt, I push him away. “What the hell are you talking about, Jason?” The hurt is clear in his eyes before he looks down. “Mikey, I’ve dreamt of what it would be like to be yours,” he says quietly. “I wanna be yours.” Jason leans in, his lips brush against mine, and I still. I don’t know how to process what’s happening. He loves me the way I love him, but how can that be? The tip of his tongue moves along my lips, and I open up to him and he moans softly. His lips are just as I imagined them: warm and soft. The kiss is timid at first before Jason moves to straddle my lap taking the kiss deeper. All of his smells I’ve ignored over the years surround me like an aromatic cloud. Wrapping my arms tight around him, I lean back bringing him down on top of me. The whole experience couldn’t have been more than thirty seconds when I realize what I’m doing. I push him off me and stand, wiping my mouth. “This can’t happen, Jason. You’re my brother. I have a boyfriend. Stay the hell away from me.” I run out of the room. <><><><><><> I avoided Jason for two days by staying over at Kenny’s place. He called and texted but I never answered or replied. I received a text this morning, it said: Leaving 4 school now. Don’t worry I’ll leave u alone. I’m sorry L I wanted to call Jason right then, but I didn’t. I let him leave without a word. I didn’t know what else to do. I’m confused by everything, especially by Jason’s confession. He loves me, and I love him, but I love Kenny too. How can I love two people at the same time? I’ve heard people say they loved two people, but I always thought they were lying to have their cake and eat it too. But it’s true. It can happen. I’m living proof. <><><><><><> “Hello?” the voice asks carefully through the intercom. “Let me in,” I answer shakily. There’s a long pause. “Mike, what are you doing here?” “Let me in, and I’ll explain,” I reply. There’s another long pause before the door buzzes, and I push it open. Ascending the stairs, I take a few deep breaths. I hear his door open. My heart is racing. The thought of seeing him has me breathless. We haven’t spoken or seen each other in over a month. But I finally got my act together. As much as want Kenny, I want Jason too. Now that I know how he feels about me, maybe we can see where it leads. This is a talk we need to have in person. Once I realized what I had to do, I didn’t hesitate hopping on a plane to California. Standing in front of his door, I breathe out and step inside. Jason is sitting on the couch with his head down, and his hands clasped tight together. I sit in the chair opposite him and clear my throat. “Are your roommates here?” “No, they went to a movie. Mike, why’re you here? I thought you hated me,” he whispers solemnly. Fuck! He thinks I hate him. What else would he think, I haven’t tried to speak to him in a month. I sigh heavily. “Jase, I don’t hate you. I was goin’ through some things and I couldn’t get my head ‘round them ‘til now. There are things you don’t know about me. I thought if you found out about them, you’d hate me and never want to speak to me again.” Jason looks up at me. “I could never hate you. I love you.” “I know. But what you don’t know is uh, uh, I-I- damn, I didn’t plan out what I was going to say. Now I wish I had,” I chuckle softly. After a few more seconds pass, I continue. “The reason I thought you’d hate is because of my feelings for you.” Shocked, he gasps and looks at me. Shaking his head in disbelief, he says, “What?” It’s my turn to look down. Using his words, I say, “I love you more than a brother, bonehead.” Emphatically, he shakes his head. “Don’t do this. Don’t lie to make me feel better for what happened. I shouldn’t have kissed you, Mike. My feelings for you are wrong, and I’ll learn to live with it. Just don’t lie, okay?” I move from the chair to sit next to him on the couch. “I’m not lying, Jase. It started off as a slight crush when I was sixteen, and grew in to love over the past three years.” His mouth opens and closes but says nothing. “Believe me when I tell you. My feelings for you are very, very real,” I tell him as my voice cracks. Neither of us speak for a long while. “So, we love each other. We’re brothers. Nothing can ever come of it, no matter how much I may want it to,” Jason whispers with a few sniffles. I pull his chin towards me. “We’re toeing the line right now. We can deal with our feelings by not acting on them or we can cross the line,” I say. “What do you want? “To cross the line,” he answers, turning to face me fully. “What about you?” “Cross the line.” “And Kenny?” “I’m not breaking up with him,” I state definitively. “But to make it fair, you can see other guys.” His eyebrows furrow and he shrugs. “You love me. But you’re okay with me dating other guys. That doesn’t make sense, Mike. You flipped out on Grooves. What’s to keep you from flipping out again?” “I trust you. That’s why,” I answer honestly. “Jase, do you trust me? I would never intentionally hurt you. That’s why I’m being upfront about Kenny. Can you accept that he’s in my life? I see apprehension in his eyes but he nods his acceptance before I question him further. I lean in and our lips touch. It’s a slow, sweet kiss which turns smoldering in seconds. Jason’s hands grip me tighter as the kiss deepens. My hands clasp the sides of his neck. I moan when he nips my lips. Damn, he’s such an amazing kisser. I feel his arms snake around my neck. He leans back against the arm of the couch bringing me with him. He whimpers softly when I settle between his legs and grind our hips together. This feels natural. Nothing seems out of place or feels weird. I love and fear every second of it. The kiss lasts only seconds, but feels like an eternity. I end the kiss eliciting a frustrated groan from Jason. I replay the tenderness and the urgency in the kiss we just shared. My fantasies of what his kisses would be like didn’t even hold up to the real thing. We say nothing to each other as we catch our breaths. Our foreheads rest against each other. Jason laughs quietly. “I can’t believe this is happening. Are we really doing this?” I nod slowly letting it sink in myself. “Yeah, we are.” We kiss again. “My roommates might be back soon. Let’s go to my room,” he says shyly. <><><><><><> Present time: The situation we’re in is my fault. Thinking back at all those odd looks and the occasional cold shoulder from Jason all make sense now. I failed to recognize the signs because I focused on getting Jason instead of protecting him. The fact that we both wanted each other clouded my judgment. I should’ve asked more questions that night back in California. Even though it would have hurt to do so, I would’ve put a stop to it, if he’d said he couldn’t accept Kenny being in my life. But then again, why would he admit it? He was about to get what he’d always wanted, me. The day Jason left me in his room, all I could do was lay on his bed and wish with all my might that he’d come back to me. He didn’t. How could I even think he would? I called him an ‘easy fuck’. I can still see the hurt and shock in his eyes when he heard those malicious and untrue words come from my mouth. He was only trying to be honest about his feelings. I never should’ve reacted the way I had. One week. That’s how long it’s been since my brother, my best friend, my lover walked away from me out of the necessity to protect his heart from me hurting him more than I had already. Hearing Jason cry himself to sleep the first couple of nights broke my heart. I wanted to comfort him, but he locked his doors. So, I stayed on the other side of his bathroom door and listened until I knew he was asleep before retreating to my room. The worst thing is we only talk when our parents are home, and even then, it’s awkward. Mom picked up on the tension between us and asked what happened. Jason told her he broke up with the guy he was seeing. She said that didn’t explain what was going in between us. I told her I did something that pissed Jason off, but we would work it out eventually. I was giving him time to cool down. Appeased, she let it go. I miss him. I want him back. I don’t know what to do, but know I need liquid courage to do it. One of the benefits of being a well-known underage former basketball star in my town is the privilege I still receive from some establishments. All I have to do is walk into the liquor store, and I have my run of the place. The manager feels sorry for me since I lost my basketball scholarship. Therefore, he sometimes lets me buy whatever I want. It’s a good thing too because I need this to talk to Jason. <><><><><><> I stagger into the house after having drank a six-pack and a nip of whiskey alone in my car while I sat in the garage. Walking down the small hallway towards the kitchen, I hear the booming sounds of explosions coming from downstairs. Slowly, I make my way down to the basement, and from the middle of the steps, I see the back of Jason’s blond head leaning against the back of the sofa. He’s shirtless with his long legs crossed at the ankles in front of him while watches his favorite movie, Die Hard. He runs a hand through his hair, and laughs at a Bruce Willis one-liner. The ache in my heart as I take the last step is profound. God, I miss him so much. Walking towards the couch, he doesn’t notice me until I accidentally bump the table beside him. With a startled yell his head snaps towards me. “Shit, man, you scared the hell outta me,” he announces angrily. “I’m sorry,” I proclaim, staggering a little to keep myself upright. “I wanted to talk to you before Mom and Dad got home.” “I’m not doing this with you,” he says, turning his attention back to the movie. Sighing heavily, I shove my hands in my front pockets. “Jase, this is important. We need to talk.” Jason grabs the large bowl beside him and stands. He doesn’t say anything else as he walks past me and up the stairs. I slowly but surely follow him to the kitchen. I lean against the counter and cross my arms. Watching him move about the kitchen as he makes a batch of popcorn is captivating. The stride of his long legs has me remembering what it was like to have them wrapped around my waist as we made love. And the grace of his arms as he grabs the salt from the cabinet, and remembering how they felt when he held me while we slept. With a slight slur, I say, “I want to talk to you.” Jason turns to me. “Are you drunk?” “Yup, drunk in love with you,” I answer, smiling as if I said something ultra-clever. He scoffs, rolls his eyes, and turns away from me. “You’re in love with Kenny too.” Ignoring his comment, I quietly reply, “I miss my best friend. I miss you.” Jason turns his head slightly towards me, and states dryly. “Don’t you mean that you miss your ‘easy fuck’?” Dumbfounded, I take three large steps to stand next to him. I furiously turn him to me. Pointing my finger in his chest, I say, “You can’t keep throwing that back in my face. When are you gonna stop punishing me for it? Do you want me to apologize again? Fine. I’m sorry, Jase. You’re not an easy fuck.” He looks down mumbling, “I’m not trying to punish you.” “You could’ve fooled me.” I cup the sides of his face, lifting his head up so I can look him in the eyes. “Please talk to me. All I want to do is talk. Nothing else. I swear.” Jason turns from me and watches the popcorn machine. It soon comes to life with the sounds of the kernels exploding and it fills in the awkward silence between us. He dumps the popcorn in the bowl, and works diligently to cover it with butter and seasonings. Another batch of kernels goes inside the popper. I clear my throat. “This wall you’ve put up is keeping us apart.” He shrugs shaking his head. “There are a lot of things keeping us apart, but I’m working through them alone just like you.” I reach for him on impulse, but stop midway. “We don’t have to do it alone.” He sighs heavily. “Yeah, we do. I’m not gonna end up some lovesick puppy at your feet waiting for scraps of your love. I deserve better than that, and you know it.” I nod in agreement. “You do. We can still work this out. All I’m asking for is a chance.” “There is no ‘we’,” Jason states somberly, taking the tea out of the fridge. “Yes, there is. No matter how hard you try to ignore it,” I reply. “Jase, I can’t make this decision if you keep me at a distance.” I press my forehead to his temple, and rest a hand on the small of his back, and the other on his stomach. We stand this way until the popper again comes to life. Jason wipes his eyes and pulls away. I curse under my breath, and reluctantly drop my hands. When the rumbling of the popcorn slows, he dumps the popcorn in with the other batch he’s prepared; his hands tremble visibly as he mixes them together. He turns towards me with tears in his eyes. “How can I open my heart back up to you? Six months together did nothing to change your feelings for Kenny. If you haven’t broken up with him by now, we need to face the fact that you probably won’t.” “Jase, come on. At least give us a chance to work through this,” I beg, gripping his shoulders tightly. “I can’t. Something happened last week that made me realize…,” he sniffles, but he stops speaking. In a defensive move, I drop my hands from his shoulders, and cross my arms. “What happened?” There’s a long pause before he says, “I went to the gym after I left here. But I never got out of the car, instead, I, uh, went to see Grooves’.” I hiss angrily, “You went to Grooves?” “Yes,” he answers quietly. I take a step towards him. “Nothing happened, right?” Jason’s voice breaks as he answers. “I told him I was upset. That the guy I was seeing wouldn’t leave his boyfriend for me. He invited me in, and kept asking why I came to see him. To shut him up, I kissed him. One moment we were on his couch, then the next, we’re in his room going at it.” My mind is going a million miles an hour. Taking a step closer, I ask, “What do you mean ‘going at it’?” “We were making out pretty heavily, when I begged him to fuck me,” Jason admits, meeting my angry glare. There’s no fucking way! Oh, my God, he slept with Grooves. Choking back a sob, I cover my heart and feel the sadness wrap its way around it. My stomach turns in knots. I hold up a hand to keep him from talking. “Stop! I don’t want to hear it,” I announce, slowly backing away from him. I walk unsteadily out the kitchen, and stumble up the stairs. I walk into my room, slamming the door behind me. I want to ram my fists through the wall. Jason bursts through seconds later. “Go back downstairs,” I growl angrily at him, pacing the room with my hands clasped behind my head. Jason pulls me towards him by my waist. The intensity in his hazel eyes burns deep in to my amber eyes. Despite how I feel, his touch has a calming effect on me. He rests his hands against my chest. “Please, calm down and listen to me.” Unable to look him in the eye, I focus on a spot on the wall behind him. A wave of thoughts and emotions wash over me. I’m a possessive, selfish hypocrite. I don’t have the right to be angry. Jason can do whatever he wants and with whomever because those are the rules. Rules I implemented so I could have him and keep Kenny. Jason’s voice cuts through my thoughts. “When Grooves was putting the condom on, you flashed into my mind. You weren’t there, but I swear I could smell you. I felt your breath, your lips, and your hands everywhere on my body. I felt every inch of you inside me. Before I know it, I was crying, and telling Grooves to stop.” My jaw clenches repeatedly before looking in his eyes. “You didn’t sleep with him?” Jason shakes his head. “No, but I really wanted to though. I should’ve been able to. I just couldn’t go through with it. I tried to leave, but Grooves pulled me back, and held me until I cried myself to sleep. When I woke up, I was alone. I found him sitting on his couch after I got dressed. I apologized for my breakdown. He laughed and said something along the line of, he was honored to be the man who made me realize how much I didn’t want to sleep with him. We talked for a while. He told me to call him once I was ready to start dating again because he likes me. We said our goodbyes. I came home and tried to put it behind me.” Jason’s hazel eyes glisten with unshed tears, he grabs my hands, and continues. “You don’t have to worry about choosing between me or Kenny anymore.” Hopeful about what his declaration means, I ask, “Are you taking me back?” He avoids looking at me, but soon his eyes meet mine, and answers, “No.” Flabbergasted, my mouth drops open. I shake my head in disbelief. “Why not? I love you, Jason,” I declare, hugging him tight. I feel his arms wrap tight around my waist. “And you love me.” “It’s not enough,” he states simply without malice or anger. His arms fall to his sides when steps back. “Being with you changed me in to an insecure, pathetic mess. I accepted everything you gave me because it was you. I let the love and sex cloud my judgment. I grew dependent on you for my happiness. It shouldn’t be that way. So, I’m letting you go. I told you last week I had to find out who I am without you. And I can only do that if we’re just brothers.” In disbelief, I shake my head. “Jason, how do we go back to being ‘just brothers’ after what we shared this summer? How do I pretend that I’m not in love with you?” “Uh, you don’t have to worry because I’m going back to California on Tuesday,” he announces. “I told Mom and Dad last night that I wanted to go back early to get settled in before classes started.” Feeling anger creep through me, I say, “That’s in two days. You weren’t supposed to leave ‘til Saturday. I thought we had more… were you gonna leave without saying anything to me?” Tears streak down his face. “No. I was working up the nerve to tell you. I can’t be here, Mike. It hurts too much to be around you.” “Running away won’t help, Jase,” I whisper sadly. “I’m not running away,” he replies steadfast. “I’m leaving an unhealthy situation.” Defeated, I ask. “Will you come back?” “I want to but it might not be for a while. I have a lot I need to work through.” I hear the front door open. “Mike, Jason, we’re home,” Mom yells. “Come help your father bring in the bags.” Jason wipes his eyes. And yells back, “Be right down.” I grab his hand before he turns to leave. “Promise me you’ll say goodbye.” “Promise,” he says with a nod. He walks away leaving me alone. In my head, I know he needs to do this for himself, if I even have a shot at winning him back. In my heart, I’m at a crossroads. Who do I choose? Kenny comes back next week from being abroad. Once he’s back in my life physically, maybe I’ll have the answers I need to finally choose. I don’t want to hurt Jason again. And I don’t want to hurt Kenny either. He’s been good to me. So, I’ll do what’s necessary to minimize the damage that’s coming. I follow Jason downstairs trying my best to pretend my world isn’t shattering around me.
  3. Jason's POV

    I appreciate your kind words. Jason did do the right thing for himself. It takes a strong person to walk away from someone they love so much. Michael's love for both Jason and Kenny runs deep. He's not going about handling everything the right way so it comes off as him being selfish. There's a lot of soul searching both boys need to do. Thank you again for your kind words, jaysalmn. I hope you enjoy the next chapter!
  4. Jason's POV

    Mike and I have always had a strong connection. What can I say about the boy next door? I've been in love with him since I was thirteen. I never imagined that he would mine at nineteen. So many thoughts and emotions come along with finally being with the man of my dreams. We talked a great deal about what it meant to change the status of our already established relationship and what it meant going forward. We both decided to proceed. We didn’t want there to be doubt looming over us because we didn't take this chance. I wasn't a virgin in the traditional sense when Mike and I got together, but he is the one whom I consider to have taken my virginity, and I've had to adjust to my new role as a bottom. He took me the first time just over three months ago on my 19th birthday, after we secretly dated long distance for three months, while I was away at school. Now that I'm back home for the summer, we can't keep our hands off each other. We've made love almost every day, sometimes twice a day, and in every imaginable position. However, there are times when it's not making love, but a primal desire for a long, deep, and hard fucking. Mike has an insatiable sexual appetite, which I'm more than willing to help him satisfy, but his stamina is insane. He laughed when I told him the porn industry would love him for his ability to get hard at the drop of a hat, even after he's come just moments before. There are times when I wish his battery wouldn't recharge so quickly, if only to give myself a chance to recover, but other than those rare times, it's a fucking turn on to me. I love everything about him. I accept him faults and all, except for one thing… <><><><><><> The smell of sex hangs heavily in the air and it's intoxicating. The sound of skin on skin and moans fill the room. Today, we've already had sex twice, and are currently in the midst of number three. I know having his body on top of mine, pressing it deeper into the mattress is supposed to be wrong and feel wrong, but it doesn't, it feels so right. I love feeling his warm breath on my neck, and to hear his deep moans, feeling his muscles flex in his back as I hold onto him. I especially love his thick, hard cock as he lovingly fucks me in to another mind-blowing oblivion. Our panting breaths are in perfect sync. I fist his short, brown locks pulling him in for a feverish kiss. "Shit, baby, your ass is so tight. You're gonna make me come again," Mike announces. Our eyes lock, I try to speak, but I can't because it feels too good. He whispers, "You're all mine. Nobody else gets to have you. Say it. Tell me, you're all mine.” He releases my legs, grabs my wrists, pulls them above my head, interlaces our fingers, and with a sharp snap of his hip, I cry out with a mix of pain and pleasure. "I'm all yours. It’s only you. There's nobody else, baby," I whisper breathlessly. From then on, I can only emit a low sustained whimper, as he continues to drill me. Less than thirty seconds later, Mike's guttural breathing fills the room, while he spasms uncontrollably with erratic thrusts, calling out my name, and collapsing on top of me. I wrap my long legs around him and roll my hips wanting his still rigid cock to hit my sweet spot because I want to come so badly. Mike sensing my urgency, props himself up clumsily, and thrusts deep and hard inside me. My mouth is agape as he continues to graze my sensitive gland with nearly every thrust. "Oh my god, right there, baby, don’t stop," I plead, clawing up his back, and he hisses. My hands continue their journey gripping his hair firmly in my fists. His head falls to my shoulder and his teeth sink in to the sensitive spot of my neck. I reach down grabbing my hard cock and feverishly beat off. I murmur repeatedly, "You're gonna make me come." I shudder beneath him, claiming his lips, as my orgasm rips through my entire body, both of our moans smothered by our kiss. My warm release sprays all over my chest. I wrench my mouth from his; throwing my head back against the pillow while clutching the sheets in my hands. My throbbing hole continually clenches onto the still hard invader inside me. I love coming with Mike buried deep in me. It's a pleasure that's hard to describe, but the closest word: extraordinary. Mike's partial weight lying on top of me makes it hard to get air. "I can't breathe." "Shit, Jase, I'm sorry." He gives me a quick kiss on the neck before rolling from atop me. I whimper involuntarily at the sensation of his cock sliding out of me. His latest release slowly trickles out; I clench and drop my legs not wanting to lose any more of his essence. "Damn!" I exclaim looking down at the splattered cum on my chest and rub it in. He takes my hand and licks it clean making me laugh. Mike chuckles. He props himself on his knees and slowly strokes his semi-flaccid cock. "You alright, baby?" Euphoria courses through my body. I smile, closing my eyes, and tell him, "Mm-hmm, that was the best one yet." "Jase, open your eyes," he beckons softly. I shake my head. "Not yet. Let me enjoy this for a minute." "C'mon, baby, open your eyes!" Mike's hand rests against the spot he bit on my neck. The bed shifts when he leans forward to lick the spot gingerly. Goose bumps develop from that simple maneuver, and I tremble. I look straight into his warm amber eyes. "There. They're open. Are you happy?" "Yes, because I have something to say to you." "What?" My hand moves along his thigh. "I love you," Mike states, looking affectionately into my hazel eyes, his large hands caress over my sweaty body up to my face, skimming over my full bottom lip before smoothing back my unruly blond hair. He rolls onto his side, pulls me with him, and runs his hands down my back to cup my toned ass. When he kisses me, I melt into him. I whisper against his lips, "I love you too." Mike nuzzles in closer to my neck and he sighs. I rub my cheek against his. I laugh at the feel of our stubble scratching together. "I didn't touch myself until the end, you made me come hard." A shit-eating grin spreads across his face when he pulls back to look at me. "What can I say, I know how to fuck." He licks the shell of my ear and nibbles on the lobe. I arch instinctively into his body. I mutter, "Yeah, you do." I lean in, latching my lips onto my favorite spot on his neck, and I begin to suck hungrily. Mike gasps and grinds against me. "Jase, come on, no hickeys!" He laughs trying to pry my mouth from his neck. "I won't be able to explain why I have one." My lips travel seductively across his neck. "Why not, you marked me." "Come on. I didn't mean to. I got lost in the moment," he moans when I flick my tongue just under his ear. "How about I leave my mark where only I’ll see it?" I straddle Mike with his cock nestled nicely between my ass cheeks. Rolling my hips elicits a sharp groan from him. His massive hands instinctively grip my waist to grind our hips together. Biting my bottom lip does not mask my soft whimpers at feeling him harden under me. Slinking further down, I draw a line with my tongue down his neck into the light groves of his abs making him squirm beneath me. He inhales each time I suck and bite his nipples down to the fleshy part of his hip. When I reach my destination, I take him wholly into my salivating mouth, and can taste a mixture of us both on his beautiful stiffening tool. I wonder if it's possible to fall in love with a body part. If it is, then I'm most certainly am in love with his dick. I should have it declared one of 'The Wonders of The World". "Jason," he mewls bringing me back to the moment. His head turns to the side and his mouth tightens before moaning. He undulates slowly meeting the bob of my head with his thrusts. He grips the sides of my head firmly. Our eyes lock, he licks his lips, and blows out a slow breath. It's not long before I’m swallowing the small load he shoots into my mouth. This is the fourth time today he’s come today, and it surprises me he still had anything to shoot. He runs his thumb over my lips. I lick it before playfully sucking and releasing it with a loud pop. "Shit, baby, I love your mouth." "I know you do." I laugh mischievously. Mike lightly massages the nape of my neck. I sigh happily. Exhausted from our marathon session, I crawl up and crash on top of him. He reaches for the blanket and covers us. He plants a kiss on my forehead. I tilt my head back, pull him towards me, and kiss him softly. I settle in his arms falling asleep in seconds. <><><><><><> The annoying buzz of the alarm causes me to groan loudly. I cover my head with the pillow and back away from it. Mike’s warm body reaches over mine to stop the loud intruder. He hugs me close to his chest while kissing the back of my head. "I loved having you all to myself this weekend, Jase," Mike whispers groggily. "I loved it, too. Will we ever have another weekend like this?" "I hope so, baby. I hope so." I grab his hand hug it to my chest, and he snuggles in closer; lazily kisses my neck and shoulder. I realize we've ignored the alarm and I check the time. The clock reads 5:18pm. They should be home by 6pm. I turn around to rest my head on Mike's shoulder. I draw random shapes through the smattering of hair on his chest. "I guess I should hurry and get cleaned up before Mom and Dad come home. I smell like sex and sweat." He inhales deeply tightening his hold on me. "You smell amazing. Wait a few more minutes. I don't want to let you go… not yet." I can't risk Mom and Dad finding out about Mike and me. I reluctantly pull myself away from the security of my brother's arms to detangle my legs from the blanket. "Jase, c'mon, five more minutes." He pulls me back down making me laugh. One of his hands glides over my chest while the other takes my flaccid cock in hand, and strokes it slowly. My head falls back to his shoulder and he takes advantage by nibbling on my ear. "Mike, stop," I mutter. My eyes close involuntarily, but I force them open. "Five more minutes will turn into another five and we can't risk getting caught." I struggle against the strong arms holding me, but I manage to get free. I sit on the edge of the bed and stretch. "Hey, Mom and Dad put me in charge 'cause I'm the oldest, so you have to listen to me." Mike's hand skims the middle of my back. I feel the shiver move through my body. He makes me feel so desired, but I can't give in, not this time. I turn to face him. "You're only eleven months older than me." "It would’ve been a year but you had to be impatient and come early. A problem you no longer suffer from in case you’re wondering.” I punch him playfully in the stomach. “Shut up, I’m gonna go clean up. You don’t get five minutes.” Mike shrugs. “It doesn’t matter. I’ll take it tonight when I'm eating your ass out. We both know how much you love it when I do," he smirks, "because either way your ass is mine. You said so yourself, remember?" I sneer at his audacity. How could he take something I said in an intimate moment and cheapen it to get sex? "Go fuck yourself, asshole." I walk angrily towards the bathroom. I'm halfway across the room when I hear Mike tumble off the bed with a heavy thud. "Stop! Jason, it was a joke." He runs over, grabs my shoulders, spins me around, and cups the sides of my head firmly in his large hands. He gazes into my eyes. "Don't be mad. It was supposed to be funny. I honestly thought you’d laugh. Sometimes, I forget how sensitive you are. Baby, I'm sorry." My anger wanes quickly. I know I overreacted. This is all still so new to me. Even though we've been close our entire lives, when it comes to the sexual aspect of our relationship, I'm self-conscious about where I truly stand with him. I have to learn to get past my insecurities. Stepping in closer, I wrap my arms around his neck. "Mike, you have nothing to be sorry about. I'm just being overly sensitive. I'm the one who's sorry." We sway slightly, as we stand there looking into each other's eyes. I kiss him. His arms snake around my waist. His hands move up to grasp the back of my head. I break the kiss. "Can we forget that I threw that stupid hissy-fit?" My unease must be evident in my eyes because Mike smiles tenderly and winks. "Babe, it's already forgotten," he answers, kissing the tip of my nose. "Good. I'm gonna go cleanup, okay?" I whisper, swallowing a small audible gulp of air. "Okay." I haven't moved as his amber eyes stares back into my hazel eyes; I give him a peck on the cheek. He gives my ass a swat as I walk away. I know he's watching me, when I hear a low growl, as my long legs stride to the bathroom that connects our bedrooms. I grab a towel wetting it to wipe the sweat and cum from my chest. I purposely make a show of it, wiping myself deliberately, bending over to wipe my legs down, and raising my arms to stretch out my long, toned body. "Hey, we're definitely not gonna need any lube tonight with the amount of cum you dumped in my ass," I say, rewetting the towel. I bend over with a slight arch of my back to clean myself of the small trickle that escaped from me earlier. An involuntary moan passes when the warm towel touches my sensitive hole. With a frustrated grunt, Mike calls out, "You don't fuckin' play fair, Jase!" I look over at him trying my best to feign innocence. "Mike, what the hell are you talkin' about?" "You know exactly what I'm talking about, you goddamn cock-tease. You're doing that shit on purpose with arching your back and moaning like that. Get over here!" His eyes roam up and down my body lustfully taking in every inch. If I weren't already naked, I'd swear he was undressing me with his eyes. I throw the towel into the hamper and saunter gingerly over to the bed. I cup the left side of his face. "I moaned because you fucked this tight ass of mine three times today. That doesn't include the other times we went at it this weekend. I'm lucky I can walk at all. So if me moaning and arching my back while I cleanup is anybody's fault, buddy, I'd say it's yours." I teasingly poke him in the chest. "The hell it is," Mike yells, as he wraps an arm around my waist, and flips us so he's on top, yet again. Laughing loudly, I say, "Well, I, for sure know that it's not mine." "Uh, yeah, it is. All you have to do is walk by me and I want bend you over and fuck your ass." Mike reaches under me to cup my firm, round ass. "You know, you should consider writing poetry, ‘cause that's the most romantic thing I've ever heard anyone say." I roll my eyes exaggeratedly. He chuckles, nuzzles my neck, and whispers, "Don't be a smartass. You know what I meant. I can't help it that I want you all of the time." Mike grinds his hips against me while licking and kissing my neck. I close my eyes. My hips rock in time with his. I pant lightly and my breath hitches when he quickens his pace. My body longs to have him inside me. My heart races in anticipation. His forehead presses lightly against mine, and he whispers wantonly, "Baby, please, let me have you one more time. I need you." He teases my hole with his fingers. I groan at the delicious ache caused by our numerous dalliances this weekend. My dick hardens as he skillfully fingers me. The pre-cum weeps from my swollen cock and onto my stomach, he slides down and laps up the trail hungrily. I go to stroke myself only to have him swat my hand away. He winks at me before diving down and sucking on the fleshy, velvet tip. My hands roam my chest pinching my nipples until they harden. "Mike, we can't. They'll be home soon." I clutch and pull him closer to me instead of pushing him away. "I'm gonna make you come so fucking hard." The look in his eyes is pure lust. When he looks like this, I know there's no turning him away, but I also know how to get what I want, while satisfying both of our needs. I hold the sides of his face looking him straight in the eyes. "I don't want this to be another quickie, okay? We had way too many of those this weekend. I want you to make love to me." I don't wait for a response. I run my hands down to his neck, pull him closer to me, and kiss the tip of his nose and the corners of his mouth before working my way to his ear. Mike moans, as he slides inside me with a single fluid thrust, causing my senses to rejoice at feeling, smelling, seeing, tasting, and hearing him all around me. "Oh, you’re so big. Take me, baby," I mewl as he kisses my neck. He hooks my legs over his arms and does exactly what I ask. He kisses me tenderly. It's hard to tell where he ends and I begin, as our bodies meld in to one. This is what I enjoy most about being with Mike when he's attentive and selfless. "You're so fuckin' sexy," he whispers against my lips. "You're not so bad yourself," I say, earning me a throaty laugh from Mike. He takes me on a thrilling sexual ride. He brings me right to the edge without pushing me over. The only sounds are my gentle random moans of ‘oh, baby', and 'yes' in Mike's ear. About five minutes into our lovemaking, out of nowhere, a sudden wave of dread creeps up my spine making me light-headed. I don't know what the dread represents or how it'll manifest itself, but I know I need to get away from Mike, and ASAP. I'm not in the best position to stop his agonizingly slow thrusts but I try to no avail. "Mike, get off me," I plead. "Get off you or get you off?" Mike asks, grinding his hips into me and strokes my cock. He's not picking up the urgency in my voice. "Mike, stop, get off me... now!" I say, pulling his hand away from me turgid thickness. "Why? What's wrong with you?" He asks curiously, the concern evident on his face and voice. His thrusting comes to a stop, which allows me to string together a coherent thought, but before I can tell him what was wrong, his phone rings. He leans over to check it. He curses quietly and shows me the screen. It's Dad. My heart pounds out of abject fear. Mike places a finger over his lips and answers, "Hey, Dad. No, you caught me in the middle of a workout. When do you and Mom get back?" He catches me off-guard by moving his hips slowly causing me to moan deeply, his hand clamps over my mouth. "What are you talking about, Dad? I didn't hear anything," he replies casually with a big smile, and continues with his deep, slow thrusts. My eyes flutter when he grazes against my prostate several times. Mike removes his hand from my mouth in order to hold himself up when he begins to falter. I glare at him. "You're such a fucking a-." He cuts me off with a deep kiss. I groan when he nips my bottom lip. Mike thrusts in again making me moan louder. I point at the phone. "He can hear us." "No, he can't, I put it on mute," Mike replies with a mischievous arch of his left eyebrow. He begins moving again. The dread I sensed moments earlier all but forgotten. My whimpers begin to intensify. I continuously tighten my hold around his cock making Mike grunt and shudder, which causes me to smirk in triumph. My fingers dig into his biceps. I can taste blood from biting my lip. His eyes are wild with lust. He's not paying attention to whatever Dad's saying, and it's not until he yells, does Mike come out of his trance. "Yeah, Dad, I'm sorry. I muted my phone by accident, but I'm listening to you," he says smiling down at me. "Yup, you had a late checkout and you hit major traffic. You should be home in about two hours. Okay. Yeah, Jason's out with friends. I saw him earlier when we worked. Yeah, I put his ass through the wringer. He could barely walk when I was done with him," he says smugly. I couldn't care less for Mike's double entendre smack talk because I'm close to coming. Mike reacts quickly when he notices my spasms and panting breaths becoming more frequent. "Ok, Dad, we'll see you when you get here. Gotta get back to my work out before I lose my rhythm. Ciao," Mike hangs up. "Now, where were we?" He revs up the pace, but right when I'm ready to come, he stops. I whimper a frustrated whisper, "Don't. Mike. I’m close." "I know, baby. I know." In an unexpected move, Mike drops my legs, hooks his arms under my shoulders, and flips us, so he is now on his back with me straddling him. "Go on. I'm at your mercy now." I rock my hips in wide, slow circles. It's not long until I'm riding him hard with reckless abandon. Mike's hands are everywhere: my hair, back, shoulders, waist, and ass. The deeper I take him, the harder I jerk on my swollen member that's begging for its denied release. He runs a finger down my face and brushes it against my lips. He captures my chin pulling me down for a kiss. A couple of minutes later, I come hard with a high-pitched squeal all over his chest and neck. My eyes cross. I nearly forget to breathe as my orgasm makes its way through the rest of my body. My heart pounds in my ears. I collapse on top of him with uneven breaths. Mike laughs huskily into my ear, "Are you okay? You looked possessed. I thought your head was going to start spinning around while you vomited pea soup." I smile slightly. "You already know this is how I get when I'm on top, you bastard. I just need a minute to catch my breath." He holds me in his arms waiting for me to come out of the sex haze surrounding me. I listen to the rhythmic beating of his heart, and fight the urge to fall asleep. Five long minutes later, his cock slides out of me, and I roll off him in a heap on his side. He chuckles. "That was kinky being with you while talking to Dad, and, I never want to do it again. It takes too much work to keep you quiet." I laugh along though it’s not really a laugh. Mike turns to face me grabbing my hands. He looks serious. "What was that back there with you wanting me to stop?" "It was nothing." I sit up but don't get far. Mike's hold on my hands tightens. "Jase, don't lie to me. The way you acted during and even now, you're being weird." I pull my hands away from his. "I'm not lying, okay?" "Yeah, you are. Why won't you tell me?" Sighing heavily, I say, "Because it's ridiculous, okay? If I tell you, you'll think it crazy, so I'm goin’ to my room." I give him a quick kiss to his forehead, and stand to walk away. "Jase, please, tell me," Mike begs. Against my better judgment, I stand at the foot of bed while he sits on the side. "I can't be here with you because I have a feeling that something bad is going to happen." His brows furrow questioningly. "You know that's sounds crazy, right? What do you thinks gonna happen?" "I don't know but I don't want to risk it." Mike looks unsure. "This isn't you freaking out because Mom and Dad are coming back?" "No, this has nothing to do with them." He stares at me. He's trying to decide what he should say, but he finally relents. "Go. But once you find out you were freaking out about nothing, I want you ready to make it up to me tonight." I cross my arms in front of me. "How do you want me to do that?" His face lights up. "I want to play out my Harry Potter fantasy." I can't help laughing. Mike's a devout Harry Potter fan from way back. He loves the movies and frequents fanfiction websites. He's wants me to play out a story he read a few months back. Mike will be 'Harry' and I’ll be 'Malfoy'. With a wave of his wand, I have to perform whatever tasks he wants without question or hesitation. I don’t understand his fascination with the whole thing. It’s weird. "Dude, you’re twenty. Doesn’t that sound just a little juvenile? Besides, I'm don't think I'm ready for role-playing. I love it when we’re just ourselves in bed." He smiles sweetly. "Do you trust me?" I nod. "Of course, I trust you with my life." "Then you know I would never take things too far. The second you tell me to stop, I will. Let's try it once. If you don't like it, I'll never bring to up to you again, deal?" He says, holding his hand out. I stare at him while thinking over his proposal. What's the worst that could happen? "Okay, it's a deal, but only if you leave me alone for the rest of the night. I'll come to you when I'm ready." I go to shake his hand, but I pull it back. "Don't try anything sneaky or it'll be you and your hand alone tonight, understood?" Mike nods. With a firm handshake, he smiles before pulling me to him and kisses me. I lose all sense when the kiss becomes passionate. He groans when I pull away. "No one else has ever kissed me like that, not even Kenny," he pants through heavy lids. That’s it. The dread has made its ugly appearance. My heart drops. The mention of my rival's name for my brother's affection instantly sours my mood. I roll away from him. "Can you not mention his name while we're in bed together? It's bad enough that you're still with him." In a huff, I grab my shorts from the chair in the corner. Mike groans, "Jason, don't do this. I love you, but you knew how I felt about Kenny before we even started. C’mon, I'm sorry. Forget I even mentioned him." I slide my shorts on. I've held in all of my emotions when it comes to Kenny. Mike has to know he made a mistake by staying with him, when he can have me, whenever he wants me. I can't hold my tongue anymore. "No, Mike! You can't have it both ways anymore. Yeah, I knew you were with Kenny, but he's not here, I am. I'm the one in your bed every night not him. I thought once you realized you have the real thing with me that you’d cut him loose. We've been together for over six months and you're the only one I want. I hate knowing that you still want him when I'm here giving myself to you. He chose to leave you here alone for the summer. I wish he’d meet someone else so you and I can finally be together." "What the fuck’s wrong with you?" Mike roars, pushing his back off the headboard. Startled by his anger, I quickly recover. "Why’d you even think something like that?" My anger starts to boil. The angrier I get, the more I want to cry, because I know things will never be the same after today. "You, you're what’s wrong with me. Your cum is in my ass, and you're upset at me because I want your boyfriend, whom you're cheating on, to dump you. That makes absolutely no sense to me. Who do you want it’s either me or him?" Mike whispers angrily, "Jase, it's not as easy as you're making it out to be." I take several steps until I'm directly in front of him, cupping his face in my hands. "I can take care of you and love you the way you deserve. Baby, we can have every day together. You'll never have to worry about where I am because I'll be right next to you. You'll never have to want for anything because I'll give it to you. I'll take care of you when you're sick. I'll always be there to listen when you need to talk. I'll make you laugh when you're sad. You'll never be alone as long as you have me. Can Kenny offer you all of that?" Mike sniffles and shakes his head. "I can't ignore the fact that I love Kenny too. I can't just break things off with him. He means too much to me. He came in to my life last year when I needed him the most. He helped me through my depression," Mike states somberly, grabbing my hands but I pull them away. I wipe away the lone tear from my eye. "You can't stay in a relationship out of gratitude. You want me all to yourself, but I can't want the same thing in return? I'm all yours remember that? Nobody else gets to have me, right? You said those words to me two hours ago. We just made love ten minutes ago. You weren't thinking about him then." Sneering, he shakes his head and says, "Jason, you're so oblivious. You have no idea what I went through last year. I owe my sanity to Kenny. He kept me from going over the edge." Mike's affection for Kenny is like a dagger to my heart. "Then tell me. What is so special about Kenny that you can't let him go? Why am I not enough for you?" I ask, as I sit on the corner of his bed. He paces the room before he sits at his desk but doesn't speak for a long time. I stand to leave when he says softly, "Jase, I've done some things in my life that I'm not proud of, but loving you is not one of them. I need you to know that.” Mike looks at me briefly, lets out a deep sigh, and continues, "When I realized my love for you was more than brotherly, I didn’t know how to deal with it. I fought hard against those feelings by throwing myself into basketball to win a scholarship so I can get away from you. I was so happy when I got it, ‘cause it meant I didn’t have to feel those feelings any more. Um, after my injury and lost my scholarship, I became depressed. It meant I’d be here with you and not being with you the way I wanted. I didn't handle it in the best way. I abused my pain meds to help numb my feelings for you, which only made my depression about not being able to play basketball professionally worse, and I did things. I'm not gonna tell you what I did, but it was stupid, dangerous, and reckless, and I stopped that part of my life. Seeing Dr. Collins helped a lot, but when I went on sabbatical to Europe and I met Kenny, I didn't know he would be the one to help me forget about you, if even only for a little while. Besides you, Kenny is the only other person who I've developed true feelings for and I'm not ready to let him go. I don't know the right thing to do here, Jase." I whisper, "All you have to do is choose me.” He wipes tears from his eyes. "You and I can never have the open relationship I have with Kenny. I could never hold your hand in public. I could never kiss or hug you. We'll always have to hide. People will wonder why we haven't settled down not knowing that we have only it's with each other. We'll always be the gay Chambers brothers who live together and who never have boyfriends. Are you ready to answer the questions we don't want asked? I'm not." I wasn't expecting his confession of doubt or his confession about his depression and relating it to his feelings for me. He’s right. I am oblivious. I had no idea I was the cause of his depression. I'm on information overload. There's so much that I didn't know about Mike. Exhausted, I release a heavy sigh cover my face with my hands. The tears flow steadily. He kneels in front of me and caresses my shoulders. I cry harder. "I always thought your injury was to blame for your depression but it turned out to be my fault! All the shit you went through was because of me?" "Don't. Baby, I didn't tell you this to make you cry. I needed you to know why Kenny is so important to me. Jason, I love you so much it hurts, but I love Kenny, too. I need time to sort this all out. Can you give that to me? Can you give me time?" Mike asks standing up and pulling me into a tight hug. "I have to talk to him face to face. He comes home in three weeks. Give me 'til then. Please?" As much as I hate what I've learned about what he had gone through last year, I whisper and shake my head, "Mikey, I don't think I can. The longer you take, the more I won't be able to let you go. With each passing day, I'll fall more in love with you. If I give you another three weeks, there's no telling how deep my love for you will have grown." The distress in his voice is palpable. "Jase, c'mon, don’t do this to us!" I take a step back and put my forehead against his. My voice breaks as I say, "I'm doing this for us. I want all of you or none of you. I don't care if we have to hide. I'm willing to because that's how much you mean to me. Being with you is all I’ve wanted for six years. Now I have you but not really. I deserve to have you 100% in mind, body, and soul without another man in your thoughts or your heart. If you can't offer that to me, then we end this now before we end up hurting each other." My hot tears roll down my cheeks. I see the hurt in Mike's eyes, but I can't have him hurt me down the road. My hands instinctively move to his face, and down to rest at the base of his neck. "We're already in too deep. Why does it have to be you or Kenny? I can't make this decision, not now. There are so many changes coming in a few weeks. You leave to go back to school in a couple of weeks. Kenny will be back a few days later. You want me to dump him for you and you're not even going to be here?" Mike scoffs, taking a couple of steps back from me. My brows furrow. "So, what, I'm just keeping his side of the bed warm for you?" "Goddammit, Jason! All I'm saying is you'll be gone. It would be an easier decision to make, if you were here, but you won't be," he says seizing my shoulders firmly in his grasps. I shrug him off and sit at his desk. "You know I would transfer to a local school in a heartbeat to be with you but my scholarship is in California. Mom and Dad can't pay for another tuition if I transfer here. Not with you going full-time too." "So what do you want me to do? Wait around for you to come back home every few months for an easy fuck?" Mike asks angrily. Caught off-guard, I don't know how to react, but I can't hide my shock. He's contrite as he stammers an apology, "Shit, Jase, I'm so sorry. That came out wrong. I didn’t mean it." My anger boils over. I'm standing in front of him trying my best to control the urge to beat the shit out of him. Mike takes an involuntary step back. I seethe, "How did you mean it? An 'easy fuck', is that what I am to you?" "No, you’re not! Baby, I'm sorry. I’m so sorry," Mike whispers, trying to hug me but I push him back. "Stop calling me that. You don't get to call me that anymore," I hiss. "I guess you don't feel the same about me after all. I’m just a piece of ass to you." I shove him hard enough that he stumbles back and hits the wall. I walk away, but soon he is behind me, smashing my back against his chest with his arms wrapped firmly around my waist. I struggle against him but he has a lot of upper body strength. Even though there's only an inch difference in our heights, he outweighs me by close to twenty pounds, all of it muscle. "God, Jase, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have said that. Baby, I didn't mean it," Mike whispers desperately into my ear. "You've said a lot of shit you don't mean. Let go of me, Mike," I yell, thrashing in his hold. His grip tightens around me. "No, not until you listen to me. Please!" "I think you've said enough, you fucking asshole. I'm an easy fuck, right?!" I manage to pry his arms from around me. I glare at him. "Why should I listen to anything you say? You'll just lie to me. You've done it before and you'll do it again!" "I've never lied to you, Jason,” Mike takes hold of my right hand, “never.” I scoff loudly, jerking my hand from his. "You've never lied to me? You lied when you said you loved me. You lied when you said you wanted me. Don't you ever fucking touch me again! Go to hell!" I scream in his face. Before I have time to think, my fist connects with his face. "Shit! What the..." Mike shouts, but I don't stay around to hear the rest. I'm too shocked and in a haze to care now. Breaking down as I walk through the bathroom, I slam both doors behind me as hard as I can. I’ve never felt this level of heartbreak before and I never want to feel it again. I can’t believe things turned that quickly. I curl up on my bed sobbing heavily. He called me an 'easy fuck'. On some level that must be how he sees me. If I hadn't confessed my love for him, in a drunken stupor after that New Year’s Eve party, we never would've started. He would've gone on with his life and not acted on his feelings for me. My moment of weakness is why I'm here lying on my bed crying over him. Mike’s not some random dude off the street. He's my soul mate. My person and means everything to me. I dreamt about us spending the rest of our lives together. I don't know what I'm gonna do now. Do I avoid coming home? If I do, that means no more family vacations, birthdays, holidays, or special occasions, no more to all of it. I'll have to go cold turkey, and maybe then, I can begin to pick up the pieces of my broken heart. My sobs subside leaving a pounding headache in its place. I don't realize Mike’s in the room until I feel his weight on my bed. I move away from him, but he's still too close. I flinch when he touches my shoulder. Seconds pass before Mike stammers, "Baby, please, I, I… we can get past this. Talk to me." Angrily, I reply through clenched teeth, "I told you not to call me that anymore. I don't want to talk to you. Leave me alone, Michael." "Since when do you call me 'Michael'?" He tries to laugh the unease from his voice, but he can't. I close my eyes. "Michael’s your name, isn't it? Didn’t you know that easy fucks don't have pet names for one another ‘cause it's all about the sex and nothing else right?” I wince at my own words, knowing I was purposely trying to hurt him, the way he'd hurt me. Mike lets out a choked gasp, "Jase, don't do this. Please?" He grabs my shoulder forcing me to face him. He cups my face in his hands. His amber eyes remorseful and pleading for me to say everything will be okay, but I can't. I zero in on the red bruise developing on his cheek. I reach out but pull my hand back. My eyes well up. "Our whole lives, you’ve always been the one to protect me from getting hurt, but I never thought in a million years it would be you who’d hurt me in the worst way possible. I understand you love Kenny, believe me I do, but you can't keep stringing me along while you figure out your feelings. You'll destroy me, if I let this go on. I don't want to hate you because I love you so much," I whimper pathetically. Mike leans in for what I anticipate to be a kiss. I evade his advances turning back on my side away from him. "Kissing and touching me won't change how I feel. There's only one thing that will and until you're ready to make that decision, I want you to leave me alone. Whether you choose me or you choose Kenny, just make a decision, Michael! Leave me alone, please just... go away!" The tremble in Mike's voice matches my own, "I can’t do that. Please don’t ask me to." He leans in closer, places his forehead on the back of my neck, drapes his arm and leg over me. I tense up, trying not to relax into this comfortable and familiar position. "I can't take back what I said. God knows if I could, I would. I didn't lie to you. You mean everything to me," he says crying. "I'll do whatever else you want me to just don’t ask me to go." The last thing I want to do is hurt him, but I have to protect myself. I pull from his hold and sit on the edge of the bed mustering the courage to walk away from him. Mike runs his hand down my arm before gripping my hand. I shut my eyes tight and stand up, tugging my hand gently away; his arm falls on the bed with a soft thud. I quietly get dressed. I don’t look back. If I do, it will be my undoing. Nothing good will come from me staying here with him. Nothing will get resolved. It'll be a vicious cycle of jealousy and self-loathing on my part. I can't live like that. I won't live like that. When I'm finished dressing, I reach my bedroom door and pause. My forehead falls to the door. "I love you so much. I don't think I’ll ever love anyone as much as I love you. I asked you to choose me and you couldn't. I'm not going to ask you to anymore. I'm not giving you an ultimatum. I want you to choose me freely because I’m the one you want, and you can't do it, at least not now. You probably think what I'm saying is unfair." I begin to cry. "But I can't be with you anymore." "Jase, don't leave me, baby, please! Don't leave me," Mike sobs but I ignore his pleas. "I have to. Don't try to talk me out of this. Don't try to kiss me or hold me. Don't try to get in my bed. Stay away from me, and I'll stay away from you." I nearly choke on the words as I say them knowing they're the opposite of what I want. "This isn't a punishment. This is about you deciding whom you want in your life as your partner. Of course, I want you to choose me, but if you choose Kenny, go and be happy, because you deserve it. You have a big heart, and it's a reason why I fell in love with you. But while you're working through your feelings, I need to work through my own, and find out who I am without you. I'll wait for you but please don't take too long." “I love you, Jason,” Mike says quietly through his tears. With my wallet and car keys in hand, I walk out my room, down the stairs and sprint out the front door into a very different world than the one I woke up to earlier today. TO BE CONTINUED…
  5. I've Been Away For A Long Time...

    Much steadier, although, I still have those moments of haziness. I'd been known to miss one dose sporadically, but the fact I missed that many is still confusing to me. I never want to go through that again. I hope you too are on track with your meds, and are no longer suffering attacks.
  6. Chapter 23

    Wow, I love your story! I had to back read your other chapters before reading this one. Corey and Jason's evolution is amazing. Corey realizing all the hurt he caused Jason speaks a lot to him realizing Jason isn't his father. He's a work in progress and he knows it. I felt bad for Jason when he overheard Corey talking to his mom on the phone, but loved how he confronted him about it. I love that Jason doesn't let Corey get away with anything. It speaks volumes about his own growth from the first chapter until now. Drew letting Corey know it's not okay to hurt his brother was the icing on the cake of younger sibling protecting the older sibling, it was sweet! Corey and Jason are an endearing couple. I can't wait to see what you have planned for them. I'm looking forward to next week.
  7. I'm back! How are you all doing?

    1. Valkyrie
    2. huktaunluv


      Thank you, Valkyrie!

    3. BuffyWillow


      It's good to have you back! I just checked your profile a few days ago. ;)

  8. I've Been Away For A Long Time...

    In my last blog, I wrote about witnessing a young girl commit suicide in front of me by jumping in front of a train. I knew it affected me, but it did more damage than I thought. There are days when I don't dream about it, and those are the good days. I need to go back a few years to explain why my depression came on so slowly that I didn't realize I was depressed. I had thyroid cancer almost ten years ago, which led to me having a complete thyroidectomy. I have to take a pill for the rest of my life, which acts as a replacement for my missing thyroid, or my body does crazy things. With this said, about a week after witnessing this young woman's death, I missed the occasional dose. Those occasional doses became a week or two here and there to me missing almost eight straight months. The decline in my brain was so gradual that I hadn't realize I lost interest in everything I loved like cooking, working out, and writing (to an extent). My own family didn't pick up on it! Then last summer happened. I didn't bathe or brush my teeth for the longest time. I can count on one hand the times I left the house to do anything recreational. I didn't even go to an amusement park pretending I had no money. It wasn't until I had to return to my seasonal job at a sports venue did I even leave the house on a regular basis. Over the course of me being off my meds, I experienced excruciating pain in my hands and toes. I stayed in bed all day, gained weight, lost hair, and my teeth weakened, yet, I still didn't put the pieces together. Then one day this past February while at work, I experienced a weird coldness creep through my body and I could barely hold anything. I went to the EMT's on duty and had them check me out. Upon not being able to get an accurate read on my BP, they urged me to go to the hospital. I agreed. It was at the hospital I learned that my BP was dangerously low and my TSH (thyroid-stimulating hormone) level was the lowest any health professional had ever seen. Upon asking me further questions, I explained about the suicide I'd witnessed, and how it affected me and my head space to take my pills every day. After talking to someone they helped me see my depression was mainly due to me going off my meds, and not the young woman. I do feel better having been back on my meds steadily now for seven months! I still have my days but they're not as frequent as they had been. I still wrote during my hazy head time. Looking back on what I wrote, I know for certain my head was wonky because not everything made sense. I've corrected them and hope to get back to writing on a daily basis, and update the chapters I have here on GA. Sorry if this rambled on and doesn't make sense, I'm still working out the kinks. Thank you! That is all!
  9. Happy Birthday, Huk!! I hope you mosey on back to GA -- you've been gone so long! :(

  10. I've slaved away in the kitchen...ALL DAY!!! I made 15 pies and 5 cakes. Now, I'm working on the sides! I'm so tired!

    1. Show previous comments  3 more
    2. Lisa


      Huk, now I know whose house I'm going to for dessert! lol

    3. huktaunluv


      Now you have me wanting fudge. Happy Thanksgiving, Jo Ann! ;)

    4. huktaunluv


      Come on over, Lisa! Happy Thanksgiving!


  11. Suicide... why do people do it?

    West, thank you! I do feel a little guilty because she was right there in front of me. I do replay the parts leading up to her jumping. I think, "if I could've heard them talking maybe I would've caught on and stopped her". I think that's the part that keeps interfering with my day to day because I didn't. I'll keep living my life and hopefully it will be a distant memory. Thank you again.
  12. Suicide... why do people do it?

    Percy, I will take your words and everyone else's to heart. Thank you.
  13. Suicide... why do people do it?

    Thank you, Jo Ann. It's good to have you back. I take your hugs and wrap myself up tight because I could use them!
  14. Suicide... why do people do it?

    Thank you, Ron, but I don't know if I can. It's hard for me to open up one on one, So I'm hoping writing will help me release what I'd been dealing with.

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