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Jason Rimbaud

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About Jason Rimbaud

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    Cool Member

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  • Location
    Daly City, California
  • Interests
    Mass Effect, Robert Jordan, writing (again), and boys :)

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  1. Woke up this morning with a bad case of F-it's...decided I need a mental health day. Plane ticket is booked, hotel is booked, and a possible three day virus that will leave me drunk and by the pool in just six hours.  Thanks to "N" for letting me jaunt off alone.

  2. Last day for three glorious days...after two weeks straight I’m getting time off.  Life is a bit on the better side. 

  3. Just got home from dinner with my brother...it’s always nice to be able to talk to someone that knows everything about you but doesn’t judge anything you say

  4. They say you should always face your fear.  So I went back and read my very first story I ever wrote.  I am afraid that the fear was completely valid.  "shudders"

    1. Puppilull


      Don't fear your past writing. Without it, you wouldn't be who you are today. Be happy to see improvement instead!

  5. Someone just asked how long I’ve been with my boyfriend...and he replied not long enough. ❤️

    1. Timothy M.

      Timothy M.

      I hope that earned him extra hugs. :P 

    2. Jason Rimbaud

      Jason Rimbaud

      It earned him something later that day...but that’s for me to know.  😜

  6. Jason Rimbaud

    Stages of Heaven

    Thank you. I’m humbled.
  7. Jason Rimbaud

    Stages of Heaven

    EDGE OF HEAVEN I awake to the sound of rain Drumming on the roof of my red convertible A bottle of vodka rings in my head The blonde that gave me this nightmare Lying beside me on the seat My eyes focus on the bottle of pills Lying on the floor next to the accelerator Ironically placed for an empty bottle once containing "E" The euphoria of the drug had disappeared with the morning My mouth is dry My lips cracked and coated with some unknown substance Wiping my mouth with the back of my hand The memory of the previous night comes crashing back The sex was rough and sweaty Violence mixed with lust that could only be fulfilled By the emptying of one's essence into a willing receptacle I awake to the sound of rain Drumming on the roof of my red convertible The droplets rolling down the window Matching the imaginary tears that fall down my cheeks A pack of cigarettes rests on the dashboard I grab one And draw the dark harsh smoke deep into my lungs Glancing over at the blonde sleeping beside me My eyes run over the contour of his lithe body Already I can see the beginnings of several bruises Purple mixed with yellow against the pale skin of his back In his sleep he moves slightly I imagine him dreaming about the pleasures Pleasures I introduced to him last night I awake to the sound of rain Drumming on the roof on my red convertible The drumming matching the shallow heartbeat Of the blonde lying beside me I shove his legs off my lap And casually touch the end of my cigarette against his bare leg Gentle Almost caressing I use just the tip This touch causes him to moan And move a bit futher away from me Images of us floats across my subconscious Images that will cause him intense self-loathing Flexing my arms above my head I stretch Wincing as pain shoots up my left arm Looking at my arm I see deep scratches Starting from my wrist and ending just below my armpit Another memento from my endless night's searching I awake to the sound of rain Drumming on the roof of my red convertible I awoke and remembered everything CONVERSATION FROM THE EDGE OF HEAVEN Shaking the blonde, I say, "Wake up, its time for you to go." But there is no reply Barely even a grunt I smile and my face twists with disgust I punch him hard in the ribs And repeat, "Get up! You have to go." Groaning, he opens his eyes slowly I stare into his eys eagerly Relishing the change I see Last night they were perfect blue orbs Today they are glazed and bloodshot He ask, "Where am I?" "The edge of heaven." My grin now feral and harsh "Now get the fuck out of my car." For a moment he stares up at me Confusion showing on his face in a range of emotion I find him and his emotions quite pathetic Reaching over his body, I open the car door The rain rushes inside the car Falling across his naked flesh With one swift motion I push him from the car He lands in the soft mud His once pale body now blackened from the filth And the bruises of our night of lust "My clothes," He stammers out Already shivering from the wind and the rain Looking around the interior of my car I spy my used boxers on the seat beside me Grabbing them I throw them at his head "Here" And then I press the accelerator to the floor The powerful V-8 engine caused the car to lurch forward The car door slams shut As I speed away into the morning storm Leaving the boy crying and naked in the mud Rain falls upon his battered body And I wonder briefly how he'll make it home But by the time I light another cigarette The boy is forgotten Fading into another blurred memory In my long search to escape the edge of heaven CRAZED NIGHTS ON THE EDGE OF HEAVEN I arrive at the club after one AM My blonde hair is loose about my shoulders I had decided on a pair of faded brown leather pants A sleeveless fitted T and y favorite pair of boots I look something like a hunter searching for prey As the bouncer eyes me up with a mischievous grin I pay the twenty dollar cover charge I dazzle him with a smile and enter the club laughing It will take more than a nice body to get my attention For tonight, I am looking for something epic The club is dark giving off a facade of beauty and mystery Rows upon rows of black lights litter the walls And flashing lights and revolving strobes Cause a never ending flashbulb affect that assaults the senses And leaves you with an euphoric high long after the sun rises Returning several smiles I casually stalk through the throng Relishing the stares I receive by the many drunken inhabitants I move gracefully eyeing up several promising candidates With a smile that could only be described as feral I wait for the twink behind the bar to notice me Catching the bartender's eye I smile and nod my head A smile that I know will get me moved to the front of the line Ad he walks by again he makes sure to smile back at me And he thrusts his cotton covered ass out for me to stare at I grin and oblige him by giving it a thorough examination He screams out to be heard over the music, "What'll be sweetie?" Grinning, I answer loudly, "Any imported beer you have." "None of that domestic shit for you," He says while flirting with me He doesn't know just how true that statement really is I was looking for something truly exotic this night I turn my attention back to the mass of dancing flesh before me Taunt bodies glistening under the lights to the pulsing beat of the music Out there in that sea of bodies was the lucky boy The one that would accompany me to the back room of the club And beg me to ravish his body only to leave them wanting more This obsession of dancing is one I never truly understood I come to these clubs for one thing and one thing only To find some poor unsuspecting boy and use him as a cum dumpster And out of the hundreds of boys on the dance floor Only two caught my attention and sent my imagination rolling One was a barely twenty something with a body built for fucking Narrow waist, toned muscular back with long legs His brown hair, gelled and pushed forward, was damp with sweat The only clothing to adorn his form was a pair of faded blue jeans And stamped across his ass was a red star that reminded me of a bull's eye The other was fellow blonde, his hair short and plastered down He also wore blue jeans but had a long sleeve white shirt as well I could see through the wet material to the tone body underneath Blondie's muscles were straining to keep up the furious pace he set The intensity on his face makes me ponder how far he'd go to please me Both twinks would make the perfect bottom for me this night And i wanted them both though for different reasons The blonde looked more experienced moving around the floor With a kind of confidence that only comes with sexual prowess I feel like a kid in a candy store that must choose only one item But Red Star looked to be shyer under the lights Like this was something new but he was willing to experience it all I gulp down another swallow of beer and watch both intently Both were dancing with two average looking boys And I notice that neither seems overly interested in their partners I down the rest of my beer and hand off the bottle to some old queen I grabbed his crotch and give it a small squeeze as a way of payment And ignore his smile as I walked across the dance floor I make my decision and keep my eyes intent on my prey I choose Red Star, I guess I like the nervous look that creeps into his eyes Hoping my instincts are right, I walk over to where he's dancing I step between the two boys, my hand running down Red Star's chest Stopping just shy of his faded blue jeans and look at his face I catch my breath as I stare into the bluest eyes I've ever seen Without realizing it we start moving together to the pulsing music Up close Red Star is even sexier than I had first expected He has high cheekbones and a narrow nose with thin lips That looks absolutely soft yet firm at the same time My hand creeps up to his neck and I pull him close He returns my lustful gaze with a nervous smile Red Star's arms snake around my waist as he gains confidence He pushes himself tighter against e and I feel the heat from his body I can smell traces of cologne of his body mixed with sweat A fragrance that is all male and intoxication innocent I continue my probing stare into those endless pools of blue By now a thin layer of sweat covers my body I feel it dripping down my chin and rolling down my chest Tickling my stomach before being absorbed into my leather pants Red Star's hands finds my ass and pulls me closer to his sweaty form His other hand rakes across my back as we gyrate to the music I know I made the right choice when I saw the unbridled lust in his eyes With every thrust of my hips I could feel his cock grinding into me With every rake across my back his is urging me to take him I had him right where I wanted him, I only had to show him So I show surprise when he leans in an presses his lips against mine I have been kissed by numerous boys and know each one has a different style Some hiss hard, their mouths open wide, almost inguling mine While others are gentile, as if they are politely asking me for access But his kiss was different like maybe it was his first time kissing a boy Like his is trying it out, comparing this sensation to other experiences Blusing deeply Red Star presses his lips hard into mine again This time with the same urgency I feel in his caress I grab Red Star's hand and drag him towards the stairs This lead down into the backroom of the club I am surprised when he comes along willingly, almost urgently As we descend into the semi-darkness of the backroom I can see men all around us in various states of undress Some of these men were sucking and some were even fucking But all were moaning in pleasure as they searched for a quick release I notice Red Star's eyes widen at the sight of so many men having sex He grabs my hand tighter and continues walking further into this orgy Finding an empty space against the wall I push him against it I devour his mouth hungrily, invading the space with my tongue I caress his chest roughly, pinching his nipples until they are red I continue to kiss him even as I lose myself in the impending release Turning him around I press his face into the wall Even as I bite and suck on the flesh of his neck I fumble with the button of his pants as he reaches for my cock Ripping down his pants, I grin when the whiter flesh comes into view I growl loudly at the sight before me and lust takes over With one hand I stroke his cock as my other hand opens my pants Without bothering to waste time by pulling them all the way down I pull out my cock and press it against his trembling flesh Rubbing along his crack I tease him, waiting for him to beg All rational thought burns away in the aftermath of his scream Biting his neck hard enough to leave marks on his tanned skin I slam myself deep inside him not stopping until I can go no further Crying out in pain mixed with pleasure he pushes back against me His hands and arms holding himself upright away from the wall With every thrust he clenches down causing me to push wildly into him By now both of us are grunting as we lose ourselves into the moment My shirt clings to my back ass I concentrate on the vice around my cock Leaning my head on Red Star's back I reach around and grab him Finding the natural rhythm of our bodies I know it won't be much longer He is the ultimate bottom, wriggling around as I jab into him Clenching his muscles tightly each time I withdrawal He meets each of my thrusts with wild abandonment I feel something wet on my hand as Red Star yells out His seed exploding all over the wall before us Bringing my hand to his lips he cleans them as I fuck him Feeling the familiar tightening I push inside him as far as I can And moan as the sensation shoots from my groin and into his body Resting my head against his back I try to recover my breath He turns his head around and tries to kiss me again But I push his head away even as I hear clapping around us I look around and notice several guys had gathered around us watching I could tell some of them are hoping for their turn of our frenzied fucking Grabbing a shirt out of the hands of one of the bystanders I pull out and wipe my cock off on the shirt before zipping up Giving the shirt back I make my way up the stairs and out to the street The memory of Red Star fades as I open the door and speed away into the night By the time I arrive back home I will have forgotten the entire encounter My mind already focusing on the next twink, the next anonymous fuck He'll be another blurry memory to go along with the memory of him Just a usual night in a string of nights that makes up my life
  8. So I've been writing the last few weeks...I'm about 60 pages in a new/old story and I'm having a blast writing again.  Not saying that I should always fight with my boyfriend, but since its been happening, writing is fun again.  

    1. BHopper2


      I feel like I need to explain the reaction. Its cool writing is fun again. It's not cool that you're fighting with your boyfriend. Sorry to hear about that.

  9. I'm not ashamed to tell everyone that once upon a time I use to post stories on Nifty.  You know the type of stories...but what I am ashamed of...all those stories were Nsync fan fiction.  Discuss

  10. Jason Rimbaud

    Nothing Like Human

    ORIGIN I'm afraid of my own mental state It's a tenuous grip on reality at best And I can't stand to face my fears So I wrap myself up with lies To perpetuate the illusion That I'm something like human Don't humans have a desire to be happy A burning ambition to know love Consuming passion to be loved I know the origin of my fears Understand my web of deceit Yet I constantly deny them My life has been one long secret Love always hidden in shadows Petrified to let the sun penetrate my love Joy realized only in the embrace of night Yet dawn scatters the illusions away Ironic for the boy who only craves the sun TORTURED You once called me Hemmingway Claiming I was broken in the head And unable to cope with simple reality Honesty is the real enemy between us You understood that more than I And oh, how I hated you for that I hated your clarity and intution I hate your knife that cut through delusions And forced me to reflect with truth I hated your manipulations Your icy silences And I hated your volume It was like the calm before the storm Softly coercing me to change And if that failed it was intimidation You had a complete disregard for me An explosive attitude with a sharp tongue And an eerie casualness of coldness I hated your alcohol breath And your drunken seductions Even as I was consumed by your actions Torn between hate and lust And unbelievably uncomfortable I still fucked you time and time again Your manipulations were as deft as mine And though neither were harmless Maybe both were unintentional I think it might have been your temper And the drama that surrounds you That pushed you to end things noisily A SLOW REALIZATION But mainly I was afraid of your rejection Nothing started on a fabricated life will last This web of shit returns to haunt me again And there was fear Oh, how I feared you And to a point, I still do But the fear is for different reasons now Since I now understand why you do things It was easy when I took the time to look I no longer hate you Certain emotions are wasted on people like you And hate is an emotion I can no longer afford EXAMINING Could it be we two are alike This stolen innocence of ours Long before our toys were put to rest I was twelve and learned to choose like adults I was a fucking child Innocence taken by a minister I was forced to grow up With scratches on my back And teeth marks on my ear What was your instrument of damnation A lecherous Uncle perhaps Or some other family friend It had to be someone close to you Because to this very day It prompts you to be wary even in slumber You are shallow and always scared Still running from monsters in the dark I know this because sleep eludes me as well I wake up in sweats reliving those moments Without stimulates to enable me I sleep in stolen moments between nightmares Maybe the drugs we ingest are merely substitutes Little white pills for the nightmares that haunt us Or you could very well be right That its my own perverse mentality that leads me That drives me and controls me To destroy all things good and pure around me Such a jaded outlook on life Happiness would always elude me Jaded...fucking jaded RAZOR SHARP Seeing the mess of shit I spewed around you I can not blame you for the reaction you gave Or the way it all ended When I gave you lies to piece the puzzle together The distorted picture that emerged had to frighten you And slowly push you away I forced you to make a decision about us Maybe not the decision you would have wished But it was the only decision I ever gave you Realistically a choice was never made I presented one avenue of escape You had to walk down that narrow path I pushed you away and it was easy I know you wanted that push I only fulfilled your desire to run A BITTER LACK OF TRUST I can not be trusted Your words ring in my head like a mantra Repeating over and over until I believe them But for every lie I entrusted to you I received two in return I lied to you and you lied to me Lies about me Lies against me Lies to me Hatred fueled your words til perception was skewed And for a time you won this battle between us A brief season of celebration you enjoyed This I know because I heard the clapping I felt the jubilation in your words And I smiled ADMISSION My greatest strength lies in this admission I don't give a fuck what others might think of me The greatest joke is the one no one knew I played So through this all you've amused me I sit back amazed how badly I crept under your skin To cause such intense hatred inside you Remember hate without love is powerless And your hate was strong Stronger than your love could ever be I laugh at the hatred I feel emanating from you My manipulation was deft and on target You were destroyed in your hatred for me My life is a mess of misconceptions Interpreted by those that understood my bullshit And had the balls to confront me with it I respect those that see me for the liar I am I respect you though I hate to be around you A constant reminder of the failure I've become RESPECT And I hate that respect is there for you This unspoken fondness I carry I know you see this in my burning eyes You struggle with this fondness Unsure of how to proceed Because you feel it as well I like to believe you wished to help me To change me for the better somehow Or maybe you only wished to understand But understanding is the key to change And in your mind and in your eyes I can't change And I can't blame you for that I never gave you the tools of understanding Because I have no cause to explain my actions Right or wrong The past is the past And I live in today And sometimes Some people Just aren't worth the effort A DELIBERATE ACTION I wondered how long you would try Before it became more than you could bear Til the act of understanding drained you Altering your meager threshold of pain Hoping to break you down mentally Until nothing is left in your already fragile mind You lasted longer than I thought possible Far longer than anyone else My respect for you grew But so did the uncomfortableness So I sat night after night in the dark Plotting this demise What would it take to push you to your limit What did I have to do to break your feelings To crush whatever was left of your love Hatred That's something we both knew all to well It was the core of our relationship Seeing the avenue before us was life changing It was straight and narrow Opposite of the subversive alley you accuse me of dwelling But I did walk in the shadows And I saw my way out I forced you to make the decision For if anyone couldn't handle us It was me And you were right about that Your intuition astounds me The quality of your words I still hear Even if your motivation is in question Your motives were never crystal clear I know, believe me Because my motives mirrored yours SEXUAL PREDATOR I'll admit that manipulation is my weapon But sex is your weapon of choice You used your cock like a knife Your smile charmed me into believing your lies But it mirrored a hurricane ripping apart the shore Leaving broken hearts in the wake of your passing And yet I wonder who is affected more Your numerous victims Or you THE PLAN When I couldn't make myself over Fit into the mold of lies I spewed for you I manipulated you into hating the idea of us It was so very easy It was ended in a single fight with one word Goodbye Like a marionette on wires you danced to my tune I was the puppet master controlling your actions The queer pied piper And if I made you uncomfortable All the better for me Self-preservation is paramount This is a lesson you know well You've perfected it over the years Even as I have THE KEYS I know these words may not reach you Because if anything I know you And I know how you deal with life You'll walk around these pages Wishing them away will be your escape But this is only on the outside In you heart you'll be grateful to have read them To get a glimpse of something I hold close Like a junkie holding his syringe These words are alive Given breath by each keystroke Brought forth by a desperate need to understand These words will confuse you Wrap you tightly in a kind of tangled hope That I am not the man you perceived me to be In a fit of anger one night You told me to write down my emotions for you to read Accusing me of being unable to convey emotion in spoken words I hope I have made myself clear Here in these written words Though I believe it will not matter HONESTY My life is one long scar This scar upon scars erodes my soul And it suffers me a fate of perpetual loneliness Yet I wear these scars proudly I even invent reasons to stay hard To stay unfeeling and dead And when i begin to awake When the feelings begin to overwhelm me I create situations to destroy those feelings Why is the question that can never be answered No one will stay around long enough to riddle the answer But mainly because I would never allow such access Just as you were never allowed inside Because seeing indifference in your eyes Is easier than seeing any form of love My delusions will accept me like no human ever will And looking back on the time I spent with you I can blame no one for the tragic ending of us And one day Maybe someday I'll prove I'm something like human Don't think of me in anger or hate These emotions will ruin your life And rob you of any chance of happiness Instead think of me in pity It's more than I deserve And all I'll ever receive
  11. I might have a problem...it’s 1am in the morning and I just cooked burgers...damn you whiskey.  

  12. Its kind of cool, i've been writing again.  nothing good but at least im doing it

  13. I really don't like to brag but I cooked the best chicken tonight for my man...it was burp-o-licious.  


  14. Jason Rimbaud

    Jurassic World Fallen Kingdom

    After all the bad mouthing I've been doing against Chris Pratt lately, albeit in my own brain, I felt like I owed him that much at least. I must admit Im a bit curious to venture over to see that world sometime in the near future. J
  15. Been in the restaurant business for twenty years and this has never happened until tonight...an ex-employee that I fired for threatening a co-worker came back to the restaurant tonight while I was watching a movie with "N" and flash a knife saying that he had a present for me.  Life is pretty exciting.  


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