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grahamsealby

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About grahamsealby

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  • Gender
    Male
  • Sexuality
    Gay
  • Age
    80
  • Location
    MORNINGTON
  • Interests
    Romance, historical, mystery

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  1. My Story

    Thanx . . . your comment is appreciated. I hope you're happy and enjoying this wonderful life we call being gay
  2. My Story

    Thanx . . . I really appreciate your response. I wish you a very happy life.
  3. My Story

    Thanx Tim . . . your comment was very much appreciated. We all must guard against those punitive times occurring again. You are to be congratulated on a happy marriage to MIchael. Wish you manny, many more years of happiness.
  4. My Story

    Thanx . . . Im really appreciated your comment and thanx for taking time to contact me. I guess our problems stem from the bible and christianity. The same Christians who are extolling 'love thy neighbour' are condemning gays. Were it not for the cry of 'the jews killed christ' I doubt if we would have had hatred of the jewish people. My story is but a drop in the ocean of Intolerance.
  5. My Story

    Thanx Parker . . . your comments encourage me. I'm not the only one who has suffered; have a read of what happened to Alan Turing. A great man cut down by religious bigotry. I hope your life's going well and you've achieved some happiness.
  6. My Story

    Thanx WolfM. It's all in the past now but a warning to your generation . . . dont let those religious and other right wingers ever get into a position of influence again. Hope your life is going well and that you're happy
  7. My Story

    Thank you Drew. It was something I needed to do. I'm left with a smouldering anger. No person should have to endure such torture. My story isn't as bad as Alan Turing. Not only did he build one of the first computers he also saved many lives (and shortened the war) by cracking the Nazi Enigma code. What did they do to him. He approached a young man and was caught. He was charged and sentenced to chemical castration. Soon after he killed himself. It's so sad . . . so wasteful. You sound like a really nice person . . . go and have a happy life.
  8. My Story

    A poem about the cruelty of society to homosexuals in the nineteen fifties.
  9. My Story

    I stand now on the threshold Of the winter of my life For Eighty years I've journeyed Through years of joy and strife The mists of time churn softly But clearly now and then I see my past before me And taste the fear again Yes, fear became my master A slave I was to fear Fear, with every heartbeat You see, I was born a queer. What hateful names were used To vilify my kind What dreadful ways we suffered Abuse of flesh and mind. I was born late in the thirties They were stressful years A time of world-wide upheaval A dreadful time for queers My early years weren't happy However much I tried My parents fought each other hard And practised suicide To cope I made a happy place Where pleasure was conceived Where fear and pain were banished A place of make-believe But soon I had strange stirrings Both in body and in mind New hair adorned my privates Old muscles more defined My voice began to deepen Ugly pimples seemed to thrive I grew another inch or three My puberty had arrived But, I've always had a feeling A sense that something's wrong A sense that I was different That I didn't quite belong. Nothing was specific Nothing I could face Just a general ambience Towards the female race Oh, I was part of all the banter That teenage boys employ The drooling o'er the female form, with Lewd tales of sinful joy I joined the raucous repartee Divulging dreams of lust I played the game; the hetro game And lied . . . to my disgust So, My teenage years I struggled through Tormented by my burden No parents, friends knew of my sin My revolting vile perversion My persecutors loud and shrill they were So strident and irate From pulpit, courtroom, school and home They brayed their awful hate But I was too young to understand What caused my suffering To all it seemed I simply was Not a person - just a thing At night I cried my lonely tears No one around who cared There was no hope, no hope at all In misery I despaired So here was I at thirteen years In the year of fifty one No fault of mine I had become An outcast - for all to shun But nature could not be denied For men like me inclined In desperate need I searched for love Wherever I could find In dim-lit sordid toilet blocks Amid fetid foul fumes In the back seat of cars In sleazy motel rooms But soon came social pressure From family, friends I faced Stress to make an awful choice To find- or not- a mate Should I maintain my present life? And admit that I was queer Then bear the brunt of society's hate And live a life in fear To 'Come Out' was an unknown term There was no accepted way To 'Come Out' meant a life of pain Each and every day No, this was not a path to choose Who wants to live afraid? Who wants to invite punishment? And be a renegade Queers were such a sinful lot Dirty, foul, depraved Illegal, and cast down by god So I chose the coward's way To marriage in its blissful state Reluctantly I succumbed And soon, too soon it followed that A parent I did come Whatever joy my new life posed Dark thoughts began to loom How much I tried I couldn't hide The elephant in the room For twenty years I played the game For twenty years I struggled For twenty years the pressure grew But in the end I buckled And on one Sunday afternoon I ended up facedown Collapsing on the ground I had A complete nervous breakdown They dosed me full of Pentothal So much that I became Released from fear, anxiety and dread And so revealed my shame What followed then was dire and grim Painfully I endured Both electric shock and chemical dose In hope that I be cured For at that time it was believed My condition was an affliction That could be healed by medical means Ha! A serious dangerous fiction They sat me in a darkened room And on a screen displayed Random naked male torsos It was all a ghastly charade My body arched and jerked around As current through me surged In vain attempt to make me well My illness to be purged Then they gave me El Ess Dee To induce hallucination With female images they tried to force A hetero association Of course it failed, it had to fail It's totally completely bizarre Who we are is set in stone You can't change who you are The treatment left me in disarray A physical emotional mess Depression, fear, anxiety arose I soon was in distress The searing jolts of electricity had Harmed me fundamentally My damaged brain now struggled with A crisis of identity For forty years from then till now I've lived with my affliction Alcohol gave me some relief but this Morphed into addiction Thankfully all this now is past And now I say amen Perhaps my story a warning be, that . . . It never ever happens again!
  10. Chapter 10

    Sorry for not responding sooner. I've just listed two new books and have been busy. Yeah, when I finished I thought about Simon and his story; I left him in abeyance somewhat. I was fixated on dealing out justice to Natan and the senior copper. I've been thinking I might write a sequel about a boy his age, in that time, and being gay. I reckon it would've been hard. Thanx again
  11. Reviews

    As an author Mark I'm jealous. Your George Granger series has so much potential for continuity. I've been searching for something similar but as yet haven't found anything to use. Any good story must have a background that allows the central plot to develop and the bridgemont focus is brilliant. You're a very talented writer. Have you ever ventured into non gay fiction or even prose? Graham Sealby
  12. Chapter 11

    My apologies Mike for not responding before this. I actually grew very fond of the Billy character and want to expand his personality. I wanted him to be cheeky and basic with no prejudices. I have in mind to do a whole book with him as a central character.
  13. Chapter 18

    Wow . . . thank you. Thats a great idea. I'm always on the prowl for story ideas and your comment is worthwhile. Thanx again
  14. Chapter 18

    I really don't know how to answer your comment. Yes Stephen it's not easy reading and I had real difficulty scoping the chapter. I hope that, on the whole, the story is acceptable to all. Do you think I should expand on the role of Cephas? Do i need to bring us gays more significantly into the dialogue?
  15. Chapter 18

    Heralding a new day in Jerusalem, the sun arose above the surrounding hills, and the city emerged from shadow. Normally this was a time of celebration – it was Pesach 104 when the nation celebrated deliverance from a cruel tyrant. It was a time of joy and thanksgiving. Or, so it should have been. For on this morn the citizens awoke to an atmosphere of foreboding. The news of the execution was the only subject discussed throughout the night, but while the vast majority considered it to be unjust, they knew there was nothing that could be done to save Adlai. They were all uncertain – uncertain what the Romans might do if there were any angry remonstrations. So they were all afraid. In the fortress jail since early morning, Adlai had been repeatedly whipped and scourged. Blood from many open cuts oozed down his body and from his face, so much so that it was hard to determine his features. Once again, it was the younger centurions who applied the punishment with enthusiasm. At some stage, Adlai had simply switched off and absorbed the savagery without even a whimper. His mind had accepted its fate so now he just physically went through the motions of existence. Time became meaningless. Such was his surrender to the will of others he had no recollection of being led out of the Praetorian to the main road to Caesarea where the patibulum 105 was placed on his shoulders. Then a hand reached out and touched him causing him to look up - into the face of Demetris. He managed a small smile of gratitude and understanding. Demetris was crying freely. Then prodded by the guards the little procession began the short journey to Golgotha, 106 about two thousand long cubits 107 away. Adlai was weak and stumbled often. The physical exertion caused his blood to flow faster, which in itself was a blessing, as it would lessen the length of his agony. But by now, he was bereft of any feeling. Shortly after leaving the portico of the Sheep’s gate, someone offered him a drink that he consumed while maintaining his stumbling gait. But then suddenly, a major disturbance erupted. As they approached the ‘Fish’ gate, and before leaving the city proper, the crowd surged forward with hands outstretched. Voices were screaming for Adlai’s release. The soldiers tried to keep them back but realized too late that there were armed men within the crowd. Now a vicious fight broke out and the scene before the gate became a melee of fighting men with much blood being spilled. Eventually and with great difficulty, order was restored leaving many zealot warriors as casualties. Once the guards had regrouped around the condemned, the little procession continued towards the hill of Golgotha now on the left hand side on the passway. Reaching the execution site the experienced legionnaires went about their business with grim efficiency. When they had secured the hands to the cross beam, the Senior Centurion nodded satisfactorily, “Good. Now bring me the nails.” When the first nail was driven into his wrist, without fracturing bone and damaging the main artery, Tavi screamed. The pain was excruciating and did not lessen when the other nails were driven through his flesh. Now secured by the nails, he was raised onto the upright post and his feet were nailed about midway between toes and ankle. The centurions then moved back to admire their handiwork. To Tavi, the process of dying had begun. Suspended by the cruel nails, his body hung limp with his lifeblood seeping away. Before changing place with Adlai, he had endured many open cuts that now bled freely. Slowly, through all the searing pain, Tavi began to feel a numbness creep through him. It was getting dark even though the sun had yet to end its journey for the day. I’ve not known this pain before . . . I feel cold . . . why is it getting dark? . . . I’m . . . I’m so sorry Adlai. Sorry Abba . . . so sorry I’ve caused you such trouble. I’ve done some very bad things . . . and I don’t know why. But . . . even with all this pain . . . pain, I know that making this sacrifice is a good thing . . . it’s probably the only good d . . . deed I’ve ever done. I ca . . . ca . . . . can’t . . . breathe now . . . can’t . . . can’t . . . emma! . . . emm . . . From out of a small group gathered near the execution site an old man came forward slowly and approached the condemned. Such was the sorrow engrained on his face, the soldiers knew that he was a family member, and by his age and the tears, a close family member. Yusuf looked up at his eldest son impaled as he was with blood now congealing on his wounds. He looked up into Tavi’s face and . . . There you are Tavi. There you are with the signs of suffering writ all over your body. But this wretched corpse will not be my memory of you, my firstborn. No, I will remember the wriggling young babe I held in my arms at birth. I’ll remember your cries demanding attention and the cheeky youngster always challenging my authority. You will always be the joy of my life. How proud was I as you advanced into manhood. How proud I am my son that you have laid down your own life to save your brothers’ life. I weep both tears of sadness and tears of pride. Your sacrifice this day will be acclaimed and remembered for all time by our people. Now it is the saddest of all tasks for a father to lay his son down to rest. Yusuf moved closer and touched his son’s feet, pinioned and bloodied as they were. “Come now son . . . (sob) . . . It’s time to take you home.” Cephas and Simon joined him and Yusuf asked the senior guard, “Can I take my son home with me? Now that his tormented soul is no more we must lay his body in a peaceful place.” “Yes, take your son old man. He died bravely. I’ve never seen a deceased looking so peaceful in death. Surely, the sun will set on all our lives soon enough. Take him now, so we can all go home.” Epilogue For some time after Tavi’s death, Adlai and Maria stayed away from prying eyes at the safe house in Jerusalem. Any joy at Adlai’s escape from crucifixion was dampened by the awesome sacrifice Tavi had made. Only Cephas, Simon, and Yusuf knew of the circumstances leading up to Tavi’s sacrifice. When Maria’s time drew near, they moved to Idra’s house for the baby to be born. It was a boy and they named him – Tavi. Adlai and Mary eventually joined Farhan in Nabataea where Adlai established a centre for learning based on not only his own beliefs but including the teachings of Ibrahim and the Buddhist faith. There was great sorrow in the land at Adlai’s apparent death. As is often the case, Adlai’s fame became more in death than it ever was in life. A movement began, headed by Demetris and including Adlai’s followers that continued with his teachings. And it grew steadily with the passing of time. So when Adlai began to make appearances it was deemed a miracle and that he had risen from the dead. And so the legend began. As all legends begin from humble origins and change over time into folklore and mystery, the story of Adlai ben Yusuf was no different. Perhaps it isn't so much the person that's important but the message. What a wonderful world it would be if the good from every religion the world has known were to be extracted and the bad discarded. There is no such thing as sin. What has been deemed as sin is only . . . prejudice, bigotry, ignorance injustice and discrimination. ANNEXURE NOTES 104: Passover 105: Wooden crossbeam 106: Roman ‘Calvary’ 107: About 1 kilometre CAST OF CHARACTERS Abir ben Micah >>> A leader of the Pharisees living in Sepphoris Adlai ben Yusuf >>> Son of Yusuf and Mariam, brother to Tavi and Magdella Annus >>> Formerly Chief Priest and Father-in-Law to Caiaphas Brother Zechariah >>> Leader of the ‘Essenes’ based on Qumran Cephas >>> Son of Idra and cousin to Tavi and Adlai Herod Antipas >>> Son of Herod the Great and ruler of the Provence of Israel Idra >>> Father of Cephas and Uncle to Adlai and Tavi Jessica >>> senior housekeeper to Idra ben Micah Joseph Caiaphas >>> Chief Priest of the temple and son-in-law to Annus Judah the Galilean >>> Founder of the Sicarii with Zadok Magdella >>> Sister to Tavi and Adlai Maria bat Idra >>> Daughter of Abir ben Micah Mariam >>> Wife of Yusuf Martha >>> Wife of Idra Rufus Julius Antonius >>> Roman centurion Ruth bat Idra>>> Youngest daughter of Abir and sister to Maria Simon ben Judah>>> Son of Judah the Galilean who had been killed Tavi >>> Elder brother to Adlai and Magdella Valerius Gratis >>> Governor of Judea until 26CE Varus >>> Optio or second in command to Rufus Yusuf ben Toshe >>> Husband to Mariam Zacchaeus >>> Chief Roman Tax Collector residing
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