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About grahamsealby

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    Romance, historical, mystery

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  1. Someone made a comment about not having time to write and it made me look at my own situation. You see I'm retired and have all the time in the world to write.However anyone who is still working, has an active social life or indeed studying does not have the same luxury that I do. Thinking back, when I was in the work force, I would've been hard pressed to find time to write. I see the issue quite different now. 

    Anyway, thanks to everyone for responding.

  2. My Story

    Thanx . . . your comment is appreciated. I hope you're happy and enjoying this wonderful life we call being gay
  3. My Story

    Thanx . . . I really appreciate your response. I wish you a very happy life.
  4. My Story

    Thanx Tim . . . your comment was very much appreciated. We all must guard against those punitive times occurring again. You are to be congratulated on a happy marriage to MIchael. Wish you manny, many more years of happiness.
  5. My Story

    Thanx . . . Im really appreciated your comment and thanx for taking time to contact me. I guess our problems stem from the bible and christianity. The same Christians who are extolling 'love thy neighbour' are condemning gays. Were it not for the cry of 'the jews killed christ' I doubt if we would have had hatred of the jewish people. My story is but a drop in the ocean of Intolerance.
  6. My Story

    Thanx Parker . . . your comments encourage me. I'm not the only one who has suffered; have a read of what happened to Alan Turing. A great man cut down by religious bigotry. I hope your life's going well and you've achieved some happiness.
  7. My Story

    Thanx WolfM. It's all in the past now but a warning to your generation . . . dont let those religious and other right wingers ever get into a position of influence again. Hope your life is going well and that you're happy
  8. My Story

    Thank you Drew. It was something I needed to do. I'm left with a smouldering anger. No person should have to endure such torture. My story isn't as bad as Alan Turing. Not only did he build one of the first computers he also saved many lives (and shortened the war) by cracking the Nazi Enigma code. What did they do to him. He approached a young man and was caught. He was charged and sentenced to chemical castration. Soon after he killed himself. It's so sad . . . so wasteful. You sound like a really nice person . . . go and have a happy life.
  9. My Story

    A poem about the cruelty of society to homosexuals in the nineteen fifties.
  10. My Story

    I stand now on the threshold Of the winter of my life For Eighty years I've journeyed Through years of joy and strife The mists of time churn softly But clearly now and then I see my past before me And taste the fear again Yes, fear became my master A slave I was to fear Fear, with every heartbeat You see, I was born a queer. What hateful names were used To vilify my kind What dreadful ways we suffered Abuse of flesh and mind. I was born late in the thirties They were stressful years A time of world-wide upheaval A dreadful time for queers My early years weren't happy However much I tried My parents fought each other hard And practised suicide To cope I made a happy place Where pleasure was conceived Where fear and pain were banished A place of make-believe But soon I had strange stirrings Both in body and in mind New hair adorned my privates Old muscles more defined My voice began to deepen Ugly pimples seemed to thrive I grew another inch or three My puberty had arrived But, I've always had a feeling A sense that something's wrong A sense that I was different That I didn't quite belong. Nothing was specific Nothing I could face Just a general ambience Towards the female race Oh, I was part of all the banter That teenage boys employ The drooling o'er the female form, with Lewd tales of sinful joy I joined the raucous repartee Divulging dreams of lust I played the game; the hetro game And lied . . . to my disgust So, My teenage years I struggled through Tormented by my burden No parents, friends knew of my sin My revolting vile perversion My persecutors loud and shrill they were So strident and irate From pulpit, courtroom, school and home They brayed their awful hate But I was too young to understand What caused my suffering To all it seemed I simply was Not a person - just a thing At night I cried my lonely tears No one around who cared There was no hope, no hope at all In misery I despaired So here was I at thirteen years In the year of fifty one No fault of mine I had become An outcast - for all to shun But nature could not be denied For men like me inclined In desperate need I searched for love Wherever I could find In dim-lit sordid toilet blocks Amid fetid foul fumes In the back seat of cars In sleazy motel rooms But soon came social pressure From family, friends I faced Stress to make an awful choice To find- or not- a mate Should I maintain my present life? And admit that I was queer Then bear the brunt of society's hate And live a life in fear To 'Come Out' was an unknown term There was no accepted way To 'Come Out' meant a life of pain Each and every day No, this was not a path to choose Who wants to live afraid? Who wants to invite punishment? And be a renegade Queers were such a sinful lot Dirty, foul, depraved Illegal, and cast down by god So I chose the coward's way To marriage in its blissful state Reluctantly I succumbed And soon, too soon it followed that A parent I did come Whatever joy my new life posed Dark thoughts began to loom How much I tried I couldn't hide The elephant in the room For twenty years I played the game For twenty years I struggled For twenty years the pressure grew But in the end I buckled And on one Sunday afternoon I ended up facedown Collapsing on the ground I had A complete nervous breakdown They dosed me full of Pentothal So much that I became Released from fear, anxiety and dread And so revealed my shame What followed then was dire and grim Painfully I endured Both electric shock and chemical dose In hope that I be cured For at that time it was believed My condition was an affliction That could be healed by medical means Ha! A serious dangerous fiction They sat me in a darkened room And on a screen displayed Random naked male torsos It was all a ghastly charade My body arched and jerked around As current through me surged In vain attempt to make me well My illness to be purged Then they gave me El Ess Dee To induce hallucination With female images they tried to force A hetero association Of course it failed, it had to fail It's totally completely bizarre Who we are is set in stone You can't change who you are The treatment left me in disarray A physical emotional mess Depression, fear, anxiety arose I soon was in distress The searing jolts of electricity had Harmed me fundamentally My damaged brain now struggled with A crisis of identity For forty years from then till now I've lived with my affliction Alcohol gave me some relief but this Morphed into addiction Thankfully all this now is past And now I say amen Perhaps my story a warning be, that . . . It never ever happens again!
  11. Chapter 10

    Sorry for not responding sooner. I've just listed two new books and have been busy. Yeah, when I finished I thought about Simon and his story; I left him in abeyance somewhat. I was fixated on dealing out justice to Natan and the senior copper. I've been thinking I might write a sequel about a boy his age, in that time, and being gay. I reckon it would've been hard. Thanx again
  12. Reviews

    As an author Mark I'm jealous. Your George Granger series has so much potential for continuity. I've been searching for something similar but as yet haven't found anything to use. Any good story must have a background that allows the central plot to develop and the bridgemont focus is brilliant. You're a very talented writer. Have you ever ventured into non gay fiction or even prose? Graham Sealby
  13. Chapter 11

    My apologies Mike for not responding before this. I actually grew very fond of the Billy character and want to expand his personality. I wanted him to be cheeky and basic with no prejudices. I have in mind to do a whole book with him as a central character.
  14. Chapter 18

    Wow . . . thank you. Thats a great idea. I'm always on the prowl for story ideas and your comment is worthwhile. Thanx again
  15. Chapter 18

    I really don't know how to answer your comment. Yes Stephen it's not easy reading and I had real difficulty scoping the chapter. I hope that, on the whole, the story is acceptable to all. Do you think I should expand on the role of Cephas? Do i need to bring us gays more significantly into the dialogue?

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