I’m feeling happy in myself. I’ve come to terms with it, and I’ve been coming out to more people. Perhaps I’ll even come out at work. I guess no one will mind really. Being the foreigner you’re expected to be a little weird anyway.
Maybe it’s time to tell family too.
“Eddie!” A squeal of delight came down the phone and I felt the usual pang of guilt that I didn’t call more often.
“What have you been up to recently, mum?”
“Oh, nothing much. It was lovely weather so I cycled into town again the other day.”
“Anything interesting happening in that neck of the woods?”
“Well, they had one of those pride things going on. I don’t mind it really, but I don’t think I really like seeing all that. I don’t see the need for being so public about it all.”
“Well, I suppose if you’re oppressed and victimised you’d want to fight for your rights.”
“Well, I’m not sure they need to be so blatant about it. Anyway, what about you? What have you been up to?”
“…Nothing much, I guess…”
Hi. Mum is probably going to visit me in autumn again and she’d probably get a surprise as my boyfriend is living here now, so I was going to send her an email forewarning her and thought I’d write to you guys first. I was just wondering if she’d already guessed? I'm assuming you guys knew already. I also assume mum has guessed, but confirmation can be a shock I suppose. Thanks, and sorry for the hassle.
Hey bro, no worries! We had all sort of guessed this was the case anyway. I hope you have not been bottling it all up for a long time!!?? You are still the same brother to me and I will support you all the time! As for mum, the best is most probably just to give her a call and say it plainly. Or if you want, I can give her a call for you? I think she also has guessed as well.
Thanks for the support! Well, to be honest I’ve been avoiding the topic, as you noticed. I got half-way through a conversation where I was about to tell her a couple of years ago, and she brought up that there had been a gay pride parade in town and she didn’t mind it but didn’t really see why ‘they’ needed to be so public about things... I'm not exactly the parading kind, but I kind of dropped it there. Maybe I’ll drop her a line instead when she’s up with you guys.
Hey bro, yes, it might be easier to drop mum an email and then follow up after with a phone call. Then there is no issue of trying to raise the subject.
Hi bro, I hope you don't mind but I sort of mentioned everything to mum when she visited and she is totally 100% happy and actually relieved that you have said something at long last!! She is also relieved that you are actually with someone that you can share life with and talk to!
“I do like it when you call.”
I know, mum, I know. I like talking to you too.
“You know I don’t mind. It doesn’t bother me at all.”
Yes, you’ve said that before. You say that every time. But I’ve discovered that it bothers me. For thirty-something years, I’ve been learning how to not say it, how to not show it, how to make excuses for never having a girlfriend, for always being alone.
Now, there is nothing to hide.
Now, you can see all the lies I've told you over the years.
Now that I can tell you the truth, I don’t know how to talk to you anymore.