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Randy Wade

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4,257 You Wish You Were Me


About Randy Wade

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    writing, reading, travel, my kids and work work work

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  1. I miss you bro

  2. The best story that can be told is one from your heart and soul.

  3. Life is to short to worry about what if. I am to concerned about what is.

  4. Randy Wade

    Chapter 8

    LOl when a story is predictable it get's boring
  5. Randy Wade

    Chapter 8

    For the past two weeks Sam and I had our routine down. He'd pick me up, we'd do our run, shower, and polish our poles. We haven't done anything past that. It's not that I didn't want to. It was the fact that I didn't want to out myself to Sam. Yeah, I know it doesn't get much gayer than pounding your meat with another guy. In my defense, though, it doesn't mean a guy is gay either. I know a lot of straight guys jerk off together. I figured, though, if it was going to go anywhere further I'd let him instigate it. Some people may call that playing it safe; I call it being smart. Imagine coming on to straight guy regardless if he’s a stroke buddy or not. You're taking a chance. Add in the small redneck town mentality, you're asking for a lynching. Sam and I did our thing like we had every other morning. We walked into homeroom just before the late bell rang. We were joking back and forth when, over the loud speaker, my name was called to go to the principal's office. Normally when a student got called you'd hear classmates say shit like “you're in trouble” but not me. I got, “Oh Noah forgot his lunch. Is grandma gonna give you some lunch money?” It stopped, though, when Sam was called to the office. We looked at each other. We both were wondering if someone caught us beating our dicks in the locker room shower. We grabbed our book bags and headed to the office. The hallway was empty except for the occasional late student. We walked into the office looking like we got caught mooning the girls’ gym class. The way we figured, it was worse -- we got caught jerking off. Our heads were down as we walked up to the counter. Mrs. Jensen smiled, "Sit down boys, the principal will be with you in a few minutes.” We took seats next to each other. Neither one of us said a word. It was an unspoken rule: When called to the principal's office say nothing to each other and do not rat on the other. Simple rules, but once broken you are fucked royally. Once you talk, anything you say will be used against you. Ratting on someone is a death warrant. Grandma came out and called Sam into the office. After five minutes, she came out and got me. To say I was nervous was an understatement. Not only was I caught jerking off with another guy in the locker room and called to the principal's office, the principal was my grandmother. I walked in and I saw that not only was my grandma there, but the football coach was too. Oh man was I fucked royally. We were caught by the coach I walked in and I saw that not only was my grandma there, but the football coach was too. Oh man was I fucked royally. We were caught by the coach and now my grandma knew about it, too. I felt sick to my stomach. "Noah, please sit down." Grandma said smiling. I sat in the seat next to Sam. Sam had a blank expression on his face. I couldn't read it. I did see, though, that his eyes were glazed. Like he was trying to hold back tears. Poor Sam. I was worried about Sam now. He was the jock with a rep. He didn't need this shit to get out. I wanted to defend him in any way I could. I'd take full blame. "Noah, I am sorry to have to call you in like this, but something has been brought to my attention," Grandma started. OMG. "Sam's average in two subjects has fallen below a C. You may not know this, but any student that falls below a C average is not eligible to play sports or participate in extracurricular activities. That being said, Coach Thomas and I have agreed that if Sam can bring his grade up by the next home game, he can continue to play," Grandma continued. "Look Norman, it's like this -- we need you to tutor Sam. We need him. He is our star receiver. You're a smart kid. You know hanging out with a jock like Meets here might help your rep or even give you one. So, it would help you too," Coach Thomas said. What the fuck fuck, is this dude for real? I looked at my grandma. She was looking daggers at the Coach. I looked at Sam; he was red in the face. He was smiling. I was pissed off. The coached asked me to help his star and at the same time insulted me. Sam was smiling ear to ear. He just assumed I would do it. "What do you say Norman? Want to hang with cool kids and be somebody?" "First, my name is Noah. Secondly, I am not some pathetic loser that wants to be with cool kids." I looked directly into the coach’s face. I glanced at my grandma who didn't seem shocked about what I just said. "The last school I went to I was treated like crap by classmates and teachers because I was smarter than most. I was never one of the cool kids and don't care if I ever am. I would have said yes right off because Sam was a friend. Not for any reason other than that. I am smart remember? I know when I am being insulted. People like you just piss me off. So, NO. Find someone who is desperate to be cool." I looked at my Grandma. I saw the shocked look on her face. The look on Sam's, though, broke my heart. "Listen you little faggot, you will tutor him or I'll make sure the whole student body knows why we went from a winning streak to a losing one." "So be it," I said standing up to face him. I looked at my Grandma. "May I be excused now? I am supposed to be in English lit." She nodded. She had a sad look on her face. I gathered up my bag and left. Fuck that bastard. Let him fail me. Let him give me a hard time. I will just make him look like the ass he is. I walked to my English lit class. Handed Fairy Godmother my late slip. She looked at it, balled it up, and threw in the trash. "Calling in favors from your grandmother so you can come to class when you feel like is not acceptable Mr. Mac Daniels." I threw my book bag down. What is with these fucking people? I’ve had it. I can't take anymore. I picked up my bag, reached in, and threw my homework on her desk. "Mr. Mac Daniels, your attitude in this classroom, your tardiness, and lack of respect to me as a teacher has earned you a 30-minute detention." "You’ve been on my case since day one. What's your problem? I do my homework. Which, I might add, is A work, but you give me C's. Is it my fault I am smarter than you? That I actually know what I am talking about?" I’d had it. I couldn't take it anymore from this bitch. She walked up to me and said, "You're nothing but trash. Your whole family is trash." She smacked me across my face, her oversize fake ring cutting my cheek. The room was dead silent. Students sat with their mouths wide open. My first instinct was to lay this cunt out. Instead, though, I picked up my bag, walked out of the room, and then out of the school. She didn't say a word. She let me go. I was so fucking pissed. First that asshole coach calling me a loser and Sam probably just expecting me to say yes even after what the coach said. Just because he is the big star football player and I am new loser in school. Then that frigid old prune says that shit, then smacks me. Fuck him, fuck her, fuck them all! I ended up in that spot by the river. I sat on the same rock that dad and I had sat on several times actually. I watched the river for a few minutes. I couldn't relax. I wanted to hit something, someone. I am not I violent guy. I was just so pissed off. My cell phone went off. I looked at who was calling. Grandma. I let it ring. It rang again ten minutes later. Same. This went on for a while. I laid back and watched the clouds go by. Big and fluffy like cotton candy. My phone would go off every so often still. I glanced at the clock on my phone -- half past twelve. I was here for over 3 hours. Fuck, who cares? I am probably suspended and grounded anyway. Might as well enjoy the freedom while I could. I sat up and pulled my knees tight against my chest. I watched a log float down the river. I wished I could do that. Just float away. My life would be so much easier. Just drifting along. Not care nor worry. Just like that log. With my luck, I'd sink. I was so tired all of a sudden. I leaned back and closed my eyes. I must have dozed off at some point because when I opened my eyes again, the log was gone. Oh well, it was pretty much like almost everyone in this town wants me to do, disappear. Yeah, I was having a pity party. It's my party so fuck off. "Can I come up?" I jumped, almost falling into the river. I turned and saw Sam standing there. I was surprised to see him. I was a little pissed, too. "Why? Come to beg me to tutor you, the football star?" I said, letting him know I was not going to budge on that. "Nope." "Then what do you want?" "To talk. Can I come up?" "Whatever." Sam climbed up and sat beside me. He stared at me but didn't say a word. It was getting on my nerves. I ignored him. If he had something to say, he better say it because I didn't have a fucking thing to say to anyone. My phone rang. I ignored that too. "You know sooner or later you're going to have to talk to her." "No shit." "The whole school is talking about this morning." "I bet. I am the loser that won't tutor the football superstar." "Nope. No one knows about that." I looked at him like, “What the fuck are you talking about?” "You're like a hero bro. You stood up to the Fairy Godmother." "Got tired of her crap. That's all." "Did she really slap you?" I turned my face to show the scratch mark from her ring on my left side. "Damn bro. I would have clocked her." "I wanted to. Fuck, I wanted to.” "You're not pissed about me not tutoring you?" I asked. "I was at first, but I thought about what coach said. I figured if it was me, I'd say fuck off, too." "Your Grandma was pissed." "I know I'll be grounded until I’m 18." "Not at you dick-wad. I had to wait for Mrs. Jensen to get back from the lady's room to get a late slip. She reamed coach out." “He said that if it was any other kid in this school but her grandchild, they would be suspended for talking to a teacher like that.” "She reminded him that she suspended TJ last year twice." "She did?" "Yeah man. He was caught smoking weed one time and the other for using fake late sips." I just shook my head. Unbelievable that TJ could be so dumb. "How did you find me anyway? I never said anything about this spot." "Your grandma told where to find you. She said your dad and you came here a few times. It was spot he'd go to when he had things on his mind." "Oh." "So, we okay bro?" "Yeah, we're OK." We sat and watched some gulls diving into the river. Why are there gulls in Kansas? I don't know but there they are. "I'll tutor you if you want me too. For you, not the coach." "Gotcha bro. Thanks. Besides, I doubt he is the coach any longer." Sam leaned back on his hands. I couldn't help but check him out. His dick being hard got me hard. He groped it a bit and smiled at me. "Wanna? My dick’s hard as steel." I smiled. "Your dick is always hard as steel. You're a horn dog." "I'm not the only one hard," he said. He reached over and grabbed my dick. I let out a moan. "Not the only horn dog either," he said as squeezed my dick again before letting go. He opened his jeans and pulled out that beautiful piece of flesh. He tucked his underwear under his balls. The head was all shiny from precum. God, I wanted to taste him so bad right now. I opened my pants up and tucked my underwear under my balls, too. I leaned back and started stroking my cock. Sam flipped around so we were head to toe. I watched his hand slide up and down his thick shaft. It was the most beautiful sight I had ever seen. He stood up and smiled at me and hopped down off the rock. That was hot, but I couldn't help wondering what he was doing. "That rock is hard bro. Come on let's do this in the grass," he said as he walked over to the grass along the bank. I, of course, jumped down and followed. Sam stripped the rest of his clothes off. I did the same, following his lead. He laid down on the grass and I laid next to him head to head. "No, like we were." I moved around, letting go of my bone as I did. Before I could grab my dick, his hand was stroking me. I was shocked at first. I quickly got over it. I reached for his precum-covered dick. It was so thick. As I grabbed his dick, he moaned, "Oh ya bro, that feels good." We stroked each other, watching each other's eyes glancing at our hands stroking each other's dicks. I was in heaven. This beyond anything I thought would happen. "I wanted to do this forever bro," he said as he cupped my balls. "Me too," I said in a whisper. Afraid if I said it loudly it would end. "Your hand feels so good Noah. Don't stop," he said as he rested his head on my thigh. He spread his legs wider. I was so fucking horned up, I exploded. I shot up like a volcano. Cum landing everywhere. His arm, chest, hair, and face. I was still hard as I stroked his thick dick. There was so much precum, I didn't think there would be any cum. But there was. He shot six thick loads out. "Oh man, bro, you’re still hard a fuck," he said. That wasn't surprising to me, though what he did next did was. He licked the head of my dick. Before it could register, he went down on me. The feeling of his mouth around my dick was beyond words. I, of course, dove down on him. I could taste his cum. He tasted so good. His cum was sweet but had touch of salty favor. It didn't take long before I felt the tingle. I knew I was about to cum again. I gave him a warning. He pulled off, then said, “I wanna taste it. I never tasted another guy’s cum before.” He went back to my cock. And I to his. Our faces were stuffed. I moaned -- I was coming. I bucked but he held on. I shot again, this time in his mouth. His dick never left my mouth. After I was done, he laid back and held my head as I went up and down on his shaft. He pushed up and moaned as he flooded my it with his thick juice. We laid back exhausted. We both shot two loads in less than 30 minutes. We gathered our senses and came back to earth though I didn't want to. Not only did I suck my first dick, I sucked the boy of my dreams. The king of the Jock gods. The hottest guy in school. What was really great was he sucked me too. "That was hot!" Sam said. "Fucking better than hot!" I replied. Sam giggled. "You ever do that before?" Sam asked, raising himself up on his elbows to look at me. "No. But I wanted too." "Never did either," he said. "Well, it was good for a first time." "Thanks," he said. We sat there in silence for a bit. "Noah?" "Yeah?" "Are you gay?" DUH, I just sucked your cock and ate every last drop of your cum. What was the first clue? "Yeah." "I think I am straight. I like girls more. I did like what we did though." Damn, here comes the letdown. He's going to tell me it was a mistake. Not to come near him again. That if I tell anyone, he'll tell the whole school I am a fag who just wants him. "Oh." "We can still play around though if I don't have a girl doing it for me. That is, if you want." Now he's gonna just use me to get off -- that is what this was all about. He didn't want to be my friend. I had to tread lightly here, though. He might get his jock buddies on me. "Um, ah, I um, ah." "It's OK Noah if you don't want to. We can still be buddies though, right?" Okay maybe I had it all wrong. I am just being paranoid. Right? "Sure, we can. If you really need it, um, maybe I can." "Emergency only," he said laughing. "Something like that." Sam grabbed his dirty T-shirt. He wiped himself clean of our cum. Tossed it to me. I did the same. We got our clothes on and headed back towards the school. Joking and pushing each other. I couldn't get a grasp on today. It started out so fucked up, then it got great. I exchanged blowjobs with Sam. I felt good but still a bit confused about the events of the day. My phone rang. "Hello? Yes, I am OK Grandma. I am on my way there now. Yeah, Sam is with me. Okay. Love you too." "Bro, I got to say this. It maybe weird and all, but your cum tastes better than mine." Sam said. "No way! Yours is way better than I ever imagined -- it was like honey, like a god’s cream," I said. "Damn dude, you really like cum that much?" I blushed. I was so caught. I didn't know what to say. "Hot," Sam said. I nodded. "You wanted to do that for a while didn't you?" "Yeah, I did. Since the first time I saw you." Sam didn't say anything more because we were approaching school. It was half past two when we arrived back and classes were just letting out for the day. I got looks from the students as we walked up to the entrance. I was confused; they weren't the usual “go away looks.” They were friendly looks. Some even smiled. OK, this is so weird. I didn't know what to make of this. It was new to me. WTF dude! I was in the twilight zone all of a sudden. We saw TJ hanging with the other football jocks and groupies. Sam made for them. I tried to hang back, but Sam grabbed my arm and dragged me with him. Pork took one look at me. “Way to go Fagboy, Coach Hardy is suspended for the season because of you." He gave me a shove. Fuck. I didn't give a rat’s balls any more. I got right up into his face. He smelled like a combination of rotten cheese and sweat. I wanted to gag. "Listen, you, fat moronic swine. You call me Fagboy one more time and I will knock you so hard your mommy will feel it," I said looking directly into his eyes. He gave me a shove. I swung, and my fist connected with his eye and his ass connected with the side walk. "I warned you Pork," TJ said. Pork was dazed, shocked that I laid him out in one punch. He got to his feet and stepped towards me. Sam and TJ both stood beside me. "We need to make this even. You're the size of three of us," said Sam. “Noah and I may not be best buds, but he is family," came from TJ. Pork looked at TJ. "I thought we were best buds, Tee?" "Noah's blood dude. That’s more important than buds. Blood thicker than water and all that crap. I told you to leave him alone. To keep your fat mouth shut," TJ said calmly. "The part where you said we “were” buds are right, though. We aren't anymore," he finished. TJ grabbed my arm and pulled me away from the group. Sam followed. "Hey Playa’, mind if talk to my cousin private like?" Sam nodded. TJ took me across to his car. It wasn't anything fancy, just your basic Honda Accord. I would think that Ruth would have insisted on TJ having something that would not embarrass her. "Grandma told me everything that happened. It's fucked dude. With Coach and Mrs. Hardy. We were worried about you Cuz. I mean, Grandma was worried." "I didn't mean to make Grandma, or you, worry," Letting him know I heard what he said. "What the hell man. Don't make a big deal out of it, okay -- but I think you're alright. I just can't hang with you. Um, you know, because of well, I can't." "Your mom," I said flatly. "Yeah, she’s got it in for you bro." "Really? I would have never known," I said. Then giggled. "Yeah, well anyway. Grandma said for us to go to the office if you showed up." "Yeah, talked to her a few minutes ago." We headed into the school. I grabbed Sam and dragged him with us. TJ raised an eyebrow. WTF is up with these eyebrows. Did I do that? "He's a part of this, too." TJ nodded as we went directly to Grandma's office. We didn't knock, we just went in. Grandma was on the phone talking to someone. It was a pretty heated conversation. She wasn't angry but you can tell she was annoyed. She motioned for us to sit down. There were two seats in front of her desk and a loveseat against a wall. In one seat sat Fairy Godmother. She was looking like she was ready to do battle. If she had on a suit of armor, I'd say she was ready to fight a dragon. I sat in the loveseat. No way was I going near that bitch. I didn't trust myself. Fuck it, I don't trust myself to be in the same room with her. Sam sat next to me. TJ looked at us like we just left him the seat covered in shit. He reluctantly plopped himself down as Grandma hung up the phone. She took the folders in front of her, opened them, and looked at them for a minute. "First off, this conversation is being recorded. I want it to be known that as principal I am responsible for the student’s wellbeing in this school. That's a job I take very seriously. I also have a responsibility towards the staff of this school. If I find any student, regardless of who they are, threatens a teacher’s authority in the classroom, I will suspend them. This is not a hearing. This a fact finding discussion. Is this clear?" Grandma said with an authority I never seen before. We all nodded. "I need you all to say your name and that you understand this." “Geneva Hardy. Teacher. And yes, I understand. I also want to go on record that is a sham." "Theodore James Holt the fourth. Student. I understand." "Samuel Albert Meets. Student. I understand." "Noah Jared Mac Daniels. Student. I understand." "Evelyn Mac Daniels, Principal. Conducting fact finding for any further actions, if necessary." I half expected Grandma to have a bailiff hold out a Bible: Do you swear or affirm, to tell the truth, whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help you God. She didn't though. "We will start with Noah Mac Daniels. Noah please tell me what happened when you left my office and arrived to Mrs. Hardy's class" I told her what happened. I didn't leave out my comments. I finished by showing the cut on my cheek. The look on Grandma's face was blank. I couldn't read it. I hoped she believed me. Though when came to crap like a student's word against a teacher's, especially mine, I doubted it would go in my favor. Regardless of the fact that the principal is my grandma. "Mrs. Hardy, it is your turn." "Gladly. He came into my room and started mouthing off about being called into the office. Being expected to tutor some stupid jock. His words, not mine. I asked him to take his seat and to stop disrupting my class. He refused. I stood in front of him and told him either he stop, or I will send him to the principal's office, which I am sure you would whitewash it for your precious grandchild as you did for Theodore last year. He stood up and threatened me. I had no choice but to defend myself." My grandmother nodded again with a blank expression. She picked up one of the folders. I looked at her flipping papers and reading. She set it down and pulled off her glasses and pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed. "I have here twenty-one statements from the students in your class who tell a totally different story Mrs. Hardy. As a matter of fact, they are all much closer to Noah's statement than yours. I am sure there are embellishments, but the statements are all very much the same." "He is lying. It happened the way I said it happened." "Are you calling twenty-one other students liars too?" "Of course, you're going to side with…," Fairy Godmother started to say. "I am not done. I also sent Noah's homework, class assignments and tests to the dean of English Department at Hazard community college. I also sent TJ's work from last year." Grandma said placing the other folders side by side. "The dean sent me a report a few minutes ago by fax stating, and I quote, ‘Both students’ work was of an A quality.’ He even praised Noah's work and, again, I quote, ‘Noah Mac Daniels' work is of a better caliber than many of my own students’. Grandma looked at Mrs. Hardy over her glasses. "Do you care to explain why the work of two students of this school has been graded with lower grades when the quality of the work merits much higher grades?" "I grade according to what I believe is good work." “If I remember right, Mrs. Hardy, you also graded Jared Mac Daniels lower than was necessary." "This is a witch hunt, Eva. You know that. I gave your son very good grades." Grandma pulled out a folder from her desk. She tossed it on top. "I have here Jared's high school transcripts. I can also have Emily's and Ruth's pulled from the archives, too. Do you care to change your statement?" "This is ridiculous. I refuse to sit here and listen to these accusations any longer," she said rising up from her seat. You are free to leave at any time, Mrs. Hardy. However, the outcome will be the same. You struck a student. You gave at least three students poor to failing grades. Gave other students high grades where the quality of the work did not warrant it. Leaving now will just make matters worse," Grandma said, reaching for another folder. I saw the name Julia Kingsley on it. Fairy Godmother sat down. She looked like she was about to lose all control of herself. She was red with anger and she was baring her teeth like a rabid dog. "I believe Linda Kingsley is your granddaughter." "Yes. What does that have to do with this?" she said pointing at me. I just smiled. I had to admit, I was enjoying this. "I had the foresight to also send heg work along with Sam Meets’ to the same professor at the community college." "What does Sam Meets have to do with this? I don't understand this. It is between you and me Eva, not my Granddaughter and especially not the defiler Sam Meets." "This is not between you and me, Mrs. Hardy, this is about you unfairly grading students and assaulting one of them. The fact that two of them happen to be my grandchildren as well as your choice of words just now is interesting, though." "I don't know what it is you have against my grandchildren or had against my children. I definitely do not understand why you gave failing grades to Sam Meets. Granted, his work was not great, but it was at least C quality. I do know, however, that regardless of who they are, all students deserve fair grades and respect. I am ending this fact finding now. I will send all the information to the school board as I am required to do. During that time, you are suspended with half pay until the results of their decision." Grandma reached to turn off the recorder. "Fuck you Eva! You want to know why I did it? I tried to fail Jared because he dumped Margret and left her heartbroken. He told everyone he would not date a girl who slept around. He made up lies about her. Your daughters are the sluts. There's the proof right there," she screamed. Pointing at me. "Sam Meets ruined my granddaughter. Once he got what he wanted, he dumped her like a piece of trash. Someone has to put your family and the likes of him where they belong." Grandma looked at her like she grew horns. My grandmother did not hide the fact that she was pissed off. She stood up and leaned on to her desk. "I think you have said enough. I will send this to the school board along with the recording of this conversation. I may not have the authority to fire you, but I do have the authority to not have you teaching in my school. Now, please leave my office and the school grounds. Do not go to your room. If you step on to this campus, you will be arrested for trespassing. I will have the school custodian pack up your personal belongings and they will be sent to you." Grandma turned off the recorder. Grandma pushed a button and asked for school security officers to escort Fairy Godmother from the grounds. She was cussing every step of the way. We could hear her in the hallway calling the guards every name in the book. Some I never heard before, too. Grandma sat back in her chair and sighed. She covered her face with her hands and sort of wiped it. She leaned forward and shut off the recorder. "Boys, I am sorry that happened in front of you. No student should witness that kind of behavior from a teacher or staff of this school." We all agreed it was fucked up, but we just said we understood that it wasn't planned. "Well I will tell you this much right now. Coach Hardy is also suspended after his outburst this morning. Derogatory and discriminatory statements are not tolerated in the Hazard School system. I guess the apple didn't fall far from the tree in that family," she said. We all nodded. TJ, though, was a bit confused. He didn't know about Coach Hardy. “Wait, Mrs. Hardy, Coach Hardy. Duh me, I didn't put that together until just now.” "Your grades will be changed accordingly to reflect the quality of work," Grandma she said to Sam and me. "Unfortunately for you, TJ, it will take some time to change your grade from last year. It will be done though." “Sam, you are still failing Algebra. I will honor, though, our discussion from this morning. We just need to find you a tutor." "No, you don't, Grandma. I will do it." Grandma smiled and nodded. "Well I have had enough for today. What do you say we get out of this school and get some ice cream? My treat." Mrs. Hardy, of course, was fired two days later. She is now working at Walmart. More power to her. She can look down on people while she rings up their purchases now. Coach Hardy, well that's a different story in itself. He was arrested later for statutory rape. Seems he had been screwing one his female students and got her pregnant. Funny how some people think they are above others. Like Ruth. At least Ruth lets it be known. It's those, though, like Coach and Fairy Godmother that I don't get. They have this preconceived idea that they have been wronged or someone in their family has been wronged. Instead of getting to the truth they take the word of the accuser. I was once told there are three sides to every story: his, hers, and the truth. The sad part is that they hurt people because they have the power to do it. Our own politicos do it. Terrorists do it. I mean come on, learn the facts before you act people.
  6. Randy Wade

    Chapter 6

    oh and in Hazard Kentucky
  7. Randy Wade

    Chapter 6

    read on the answers will come
  8. Randy Wade

    Chapter 1

    Thank you it a story from the heart. may not be up to par in grammarian standards but i am hoping you enjoy the story. Though be prepaired for tears
  9. Randy Wade

    Chapter 1

    read on because Noah exist in many of us. I thank you to i like good and bad comments and will cal you all of them if they are constructive.
  10. Randy Wade

    Chapter 7

    Of course, my therapist said that my little explorations into my childhood needed more work. Her words not mine. In all honesty though, I don't remember much. I guess I blocked out the worse parts. That is, if it could be worse. Who knows. Who cares. I don't. What I had of a childhood sucked anyway. It has no bearing on what my life is about now. This just another part of Noah's hell on earth. I swear that just God sits up there laughing his ass off. When he gets bored he say's to himself, 'What can I do today to make Noah miserable.' 'Why don't he just do us all a favor and off himself.' Well I can answer that God. I won't give you that pleasure. Anyway so much for the self-hatred, loathing, whatever. Yeah, I am bitter, who wouldn't be. Back to the writing you're not reading this to hear me whine. I dragged my ass out of bed at 6 when the alarm went off. I was so tired. We didn't get home until after midnight. I have gone on less sleep, but I was emotionally and physically drained. I stripped off the sweats I wore to bed. My dad's. They had the marine insignia on the hip. I wore them, so I would feel closer to him. They were a little big and stayed on only above my hips. I'll let you in on a secret I slept with his used t-shit around my pillow to. His smell was a comfort. I know. your thinking what a perv. It's not like that though. I wanted to remember my dad's smell. That's all, I swear. I stepped into the shower once I got the water warm. I took my piss there while I let water wash over me. Don't lie you do it too. I let the water slowly wake me up. I washed and yes of course I rubbed one out too. I am teenager. We do that two three times a day. We are walking hormones. I still rub one out three times a day, What the fuck dudes. Once I was done, I dried off, brushed my teeth, picked out my clothes spike my hair the way I wanted. I like the messy look. I realized I needed a haircut soon. I made it a point to ask Sam where there was a good barber. I was eating a bowl of cheerio's when Grandpa's nurse came in. She was about 30, pretty but a little on the round side. I figured by her complexion was Latino. She introduced herself as Mary Gonzales. She made herself a cup of coffee. We talked for a few minutes while we both drank our coffee. She got up and went out and checked on Grandpa who was up early and tinkering in his workshop. I went and gather my stuff and waited for my Sam. OK maybe he wasn't mine yet. Maybe never but a guy can dream can't he. I was day dreaming when his truck pulled up in front the house. I figured it to be red. It was really hard to tell. the hood was blue; the right fender was green. The tailgate was black. The predominate color was red though on the main body. Well I think it was between patching. There was so much of it was hard to tell. I hoped in and bumped and took off down the drive. I had to admit it purred like a kitten though. And the ride was surprising smooth. We made it there in record time. We parked across from the football field. Sam made sure he was away from the main parking area which I though was odd. "I don't like parking this far out." "Last year some fool hit my right fender. It took me a month to find this one. I don't want it fucked too." I followed him to the field he dumped his bag and started stripping. I just stood there with my eyes wide open. "It's cool bro. These rednecks don't get to school early. They afraid they might get an extra brain cell if they do." He said as he dropped his pants and green boxer briefs in one push. He already had his shirt off so all he had on was a pair of short socks. Yeah, I knew the color of his briefs. I am gay after all. We don't miss much. I decided what the fuck and started with my high-tops. Those you just can't toe off. I was bent over as he rummaged in his bag. I got clear view of his ass. Those fuzzy blonde hairs. He squatted farther down. And could see his brown pucker. Fuck! Dude was making me bone. I quickly pulled off my jeans and pulled on navy blue gym shorts. I pulled off my shirt and put on a white one, leaving it hanging out to covering my bone. He pulled on his jock strap and shorts. Much to my disappointment I wanted him to run naked. "Can you do ten laps?" he asked after tying up his running shoes. "Easily." I smirked. I'd do 100 laps if you were naked. I followed back about a yard. Not because I couldn't keep up. You guessed it. I wanted to watch his ass. I loved the way it bounced. It was firm looking but it still had a bounce to it. He is so perfect. Handsome, great body and hot ass. Did I tell you his dick was beautiful too? Fuck Sam was a god. It was even better that he was a nice guy and so fucking cool. By the time we finished our 10 laps it was a quarter past seven. The school parking lot was still pretty much empty. A few early birds were there. Since most kids took the school buses. I knew most wouldn't be here until around 8. I followed Sam into the locker room under the bleachers. I felt like I was going into some private jock holy temple. This was like Jock Territory. I almost expected to see an alter with candles with a golden jock strap between them. No alter, candles and golden jockstrap. I was almost disappointed. It was a plain locker room. Pine sole fresh even. I followed Sam down between the rows of lockers to the shower area. There where showers along the wall like any other school shower. We dropped our bags. This is where I became nervous. No way was I not going to be not to bone. I stripped right along with Sam. Keeping my eyes averted as I took a shower head first. Sam took the on right next me. I thought to myself, 'God help me. He is so close that if I bone it will poke him.' I kept my eyes to myself, well mostly. I just stood there and let the water rinse me. No way was I going to touch myself. I would bone up if I did. If I did I would be hard all day. Sam turned facing me. My jaw dropped. I Instantly boned, because was boned and that was all it took. I must have been staring, because he giggled. "Sorry, happens every time I shower." He said as he looked down at me. his eyes went wide. "Damn bro. That thing looks dangerous." I blushed "Um, hey, do you mind if take care of this. I don't want to boned up all day." "Ah, yeah, sure, cool, me too." Fuck I couldn't talk. He smiled as he started stroking his cock. Yeah, I said that word I hate. Cock. In my defense this was like porn shit. Live porn. Better Sammy porn. The stud of my dreams and fantasies was stroking his cock. Whatever, dudes get over it. I started stroking mine. We faced each other as we stroked. His dick was a thick 7 inches' long piece or marble, straight and looked like it could hold up a 20lb weight. Where mine was big but not thick. I knew I was about to blow. I was holding back. I didn't want to blow before him. I wanted to see him shoot. We both looked each other in the eyes as we stroked our poles. Both glancing down at the other every so often. I was soon rewarded, ten times over. He threw his head back and moaned. I watched as the thick ropes of his cream pumped out. One of his loads hitting my abs. That made me shoot my wad. Mine shot across too. Hitting him on his abs and legs. I had closed my eyes and when I opened them I swear I saw him lick the cum off of his hand. His or mine who cared it was hot. We quickly rinsed ourselves off, dried and got dressed. We had fifteen minutes until homeroom. I of all people being the principal's grandson can't be late. The one thing TJ did say to me was that because of who we were, we got less slack than others. I believed him. Fairy Godmother proved that. I'll get less slack than a normal student. We walked out of the locker room with our bags slung over a shoulder. "Now you know why I am almost always late to homeroom." Sam giggled. I glanced over at him. He didn't seem the least bit embarrassed over what happened. Not that much did happen. It was though the closest I have ever come to having a sexual experience with a boy. So, to me something happened. "I just said yeah. But you won't be late today" "Nope. That was hot as fuck. I got off fast." He said as we approached the front and the throngs of clicks and their groupies. I didn't hang out front with Sam as he greeted his jock buddies. I wasn't in that click or any click. Unless you call the one-man loser, a click. I was walking on clouds the whole day. I don't remember much. I remember turning in my homework and Fairy Godmother looking at it and grading without even look at the others. She handed it back to all checked right except the essay. On the side in red it said 'you are making assumptions without knowing. You may have read the book, but others haven't' I thought to myself 'Am I assuming you're a total fucking cunt.' Art class I did some modern art thing for Miss. Moss. No big deal. The rest of my classes were a blur. Lunch was somewhat fun. Except for Pork's stupid comments. I pretty much just ignored them as did most people. I think TJ was annoyed though. I don't know if it was with me or Pork. Either way I didn't care. I jerked of with the hottest guy in school today. Gym class was just another day. It was more exorcises. Then basketball. Which I have to admit I sucked at. I was geek bad I just wasn't good. Pork had it his mission to keep body slamming me. I was glad when we were told to hit the showers. Sam had football practice, so he couldn't give me a ride home. Grandma didn't leave school until 5 on most nights. Not to mention I had to get home because Mary had her own family. Not to mention Grandpa alone was not a good thing. I ran down the whole way home. Power line and trail. The whole way. I came out of the trail behind grandpa's work shop. He was tinkering away. "Hi Gramps." I said giving him a hug from behind as he glued a leg to chair. What can I say I was happy? I jerked off with a boy that wet dreams are made of this morning. I was on cloud twenty. Fuck cloud nine that was normal people. "Hold on Noah, one more minute." he said. Grandpa was having a good day. That's great. I was beginning to really adore this man. He was simple but at that same time so sweet, and lovable, he didn't have a mean bone in his body. Grandpa let go of the chair leg. When it stayed there, he turned around and smiled and gave me the biggest hug. It felt so great to be hugged, I was on cloud 21. I want to hit cloud 25. He looked at his watch. "Jared, why aren't you at football practice? What did you and Marc do now?" So much for it being a good day. At least it wasn't a really bad day for Grandpa. My heart was breaking though, he forgot about me. I choked it up though. It wasn't Grandpa's fault. I thought about though, I needed to correct him. "I am Noah, Grandpa. Emily's son. Uncle Jared adopted me, so now I am his son." I said looking for some recognition of what I just said. He looked confused for a few seconds. Then all of the sudden his face lit up. "Yes, of course Noah. I know that. How was your day at school? Make any new friends?" "I love you Grandpa." "I love you too Noah. I am sorry that I forget things." "It's OK Grandpa. I don't care that you forget things or have accidents I am just happy you're my Grandpa." Grandpa put his arm over my shoulder and we walked towards the house. It was Hallmark moment. Grandpa and grandson. I felt at peace. As we walked up to the house I could see Mary sitting on the deck watching us. By the time we made it to the deck she was standing. I know she is watching me Noah. Your grandma tells me she is the house keeper, but I know." Grandpa said to me while were still out of ear shot of Mary. I stopped and looked at Grandpa I was sad. it must have shown. He was a proud man. It amazed me that in two weeks I knew so much about my family. What amazed me more was though that I cared. "It's OK. I know what's happening. I want you to do something for me though." "What's that Grandpa?" "Help me look it up on that intrameet thing sometime. So I know." "Sure grandpa." I knew he meant internet but why push him or make him feel bad, right. This man for some reason made me feel so loved for the first time. Yeah he was losing his memories and all that happens with his illness, but like a child his love was pure. Grandpa went into the house to get cleaned up. Which meant he parked himself in front of the TV. That wasn't an issue though. I would get him cleaned up before Grandma got home. Mary filled me in on Grandpa's day. It wasn't anything abnormal for Grandpa. By that I mean he forgo0t shit but didn't forget his pants. She had pulled chicken breasts out of the freezer at Grandma's request. They were with bones. I hate bones. It's a poor thing that most people wouldn't understand. Yeah dude, I dumpster dived at Popeye's chicken. Not proud of it. But when you have no money and ain't eaten in two days tell me what you will do. I par boiled the chicken then de-boned it. I found some rice, some soy sauce and honey. Broccoli in the freezer, awesome, dinner fixings, oriental style. The great part was that Grandma had a wok. I checked on Gramps. All was good. I grabbed my bag and finished up my calculus. I heard the phone ringing and ran to get it. I heard Gramps say. "Hold on TJ." "Noah! Phone." I picked up the phone in the kitchen. "Hello?" "Noah you have Mr. Martin for calc., right?" TJ said in a hushed voice. "Yeah, I do." "Bro I don't understand this shit. Can you explain it to me?" What the fuck TJ's calling me of all people. What's worse is how do you explain calc. over the phone. "TJ. I can't explain it over the phone. Calc. is not like that." "Be there in twenty, show me then." He said and hung up. Calc. was easy for me. I had an intro last year. So, I knew the basic formula's. While I waited for TJ. I started dinner. Grandma would be home soon 45 minutes to be exact. I boiled the broccoli and rice the chicken was par boiled so that part was a non. By the time I had the wok out oiled and seasoned TJ was walking in the kitchen. "You cook?" he asked. More of a shocked statement than a question. "Ya, Grandma does enough at school. She doesn't need to come home and cook too. "So, what are you making?" "Chicken stir fry with rice." "Cool." "So. What's confusing you with calc.?" "Every fucking thing. I am gonna fail bro. If I do Mom will breed a calf." "Let's get to work then. Don't need your mom breeding again. I am sorry TJ I shouldn't have said that." "I hear that. I know what she's like I live with her. I envy you living here. It's nice here." Over the next hour I showed TJ the basic formulas for Calc. It's not that it is hard. It's just if you don't have the right mind set and it won't be simplified. It's impossible to learn if you can't simplify it. Apparently, I simplified it enough for TJ. Grandma, unknown to us had come in and was standing at the kitchen door. I glanced up and saw her smiling. TJ saw me look up and turned and saw Grandma. He got up and gave her a hug. I set my mind to the fact that TJ wasn't like a total jerk. He was just his mother's son. He was more intimidated by her than the rest. Poor TJ. I felt at the moment I could trust him at a distance. "I miss you, Grandma." TJ whimpered. Was TJ crying? Did he just sniff and wipe away a tear? Grandma gave TJ a big hug as she looked at me over his shoulder. I just smiled. A genuine smile. It told, I was cool with this. Everything was OK I went off around the kitchen and did my stir fry. TJ sat at the table and finished his calc. homework. My life was getting better. I had My grandparents, my uncle/dad, a cousin my age who seemed to like me, even though he didn't admit it. I also had a Sammy. A stud. My sex on legs, for friend. I could hope for more, but a friend is good. By the time dinner was done. TJ was done his homework. Grandma said he could stay for dinner. Which he did. After calling his mother, he lied of course about exactly where he was. He promised to be home by 10. Dinner, according to Grandma was perfect. Grandma's would say that even if it tasted like last week's garbage. The real compliment came from TJ. "Noah, dude, that was better than anything I would have gotten at home. Dude you are nasty in the kitchen." TJ said. Hehe. "I can throw down in the kitchen." I couldn't help blush. I am definitely not used to compliments. Especially from someone that looks like TJ. Wait that looks like TJ God help am I like attracted to my cousin? TJ hung around. At 8 our time the phone rang. Grandma answered. She talked for a few minutes. I was like get off the phone, Dads gonna call. Grandma hands me the phone. "Your dad." Dad, Oh God, she was talking to my dad. I can't believe it. All of the sudden, I felt the shy Noah creep in. "Hello?" "Noah, how was your second day at school and your run with Sam. Did you make sure you showered before you went to homeroom?" I wanted to tell him all about the shower with Sam. But TJ was there. "All the above Dad. Guess what I was able to help TJ with his calc., don't tell his mom though." Kind of letting him know that I couldn't really talk. We talked for a while I let him know I missed him and he the same. We joked kidded each other. We had the best father son relationship. Uncle to nephew, Father to son and best of all buddies. We could tell each other everything. I let TJ have the last ten minutes of the conversation. He was all macho cool. I could tell though he was thrilled to talk with our uncle, well his uncle, my Dad now. I walked with TJ to his Honda accord. "It was cool talking to Uncle Jared, your dad I mean." "Ya it was." "Um ya." "Look I know we are cousins and all but um like we can be friends and all, but you know my mom. If I need help with calc. or something you can help right without you know?" "I have no problem helping you if I can TJ. I won't let your mom know either." "Cool um about school and all um." "Don't worry TJ. I won't say anything. I promise." We bumped fists then, to my surprise he gave me a bro hug. I watched as he drove off. Yeah TJ isn't a complete ass wipe.
  11. Randy Wade

    Chapter 6

    and no not offended
  12. Randy Wade

    Chapter 6

    send email bro be glad to use your services in any form
  13. Randy Wade

    Chapter 6

    If your will to edit. i will be glad to use your services
  14. Randy Wade

    Chapter 6

    I showed my therapist my journal today. She said is well thought out and expressed myself better in writing than I did when I talked. Which made me feel good about myself. She did say that I need to talk more about growing up. I really don't want to. However, if I want to ever be able to live a normal life once I am out of here I have to she says. I don't know where to begin I think the earliest memory was living above a Chinese restaurant. I was 5 at the time I think. I was in kindergarten. Like I said earlier my clothes were all used clothing. So, nothing ever really fit or matched or up to date. Even then I was conscious of how different my life was from other kids. I mean people weren't cruel or anything. They just didn't give a shit. I don't know if it was the fact that I was insignificant to them or they were so consumed by their own problems. My teacher was nice though she would try to get the other kids to play with me. I remember on day after school while we waited in the playground for someone to pick us up there was a girl in my class. I think her name was Sarah. "Sarah can I play too?" "No. I am not allowed to play with you." "Why not?" "Because my mommy says your poor, dirty and have bugs." "Oh." I said. I knew I wasn't dirty I took a batch every night brushed my teeth comber my hair. I never saw bugs on me. I had seen dogs with bugs they were always scratching I don't scratch a lot like they do. I didn't know what poor was. Every few moths Mommy would get me some new clothes from the goodwill store. I liked it there. They always had toys. If I was good and if mommy wasn't sick and needed medicine. She would buy me a toy. I didn't know what she meant all I knew was it made me sad. I tried not to, but I started crying. All I wanted has to play ball with the kids. While I waited for someone to pick me up from school. Usually it was Mrs. Chen who picked me up. She didn't speak much English, but she was always nice to me. She and Mr. Chen owned the restaurant and the building our apartment was in. I liked when she picked me up I would sit in the corner and she would give me a coloring book and a few cookies while I waited for mommy to come home. Today though Mommy picked me up. I could tell she was feeling sick and needed her medicine. She saw me sitting in the corner of the playground crying. She pulled me up by arm. "Why are you crying like a little girl? What did you do now?" she is pulling me along hurting my arm. I cried even harder from the pain. "Stop fucking crying. You're such an embarrassment." I tried to stop. I was quiet, but tears were running down my face. I couldn't stop them. People were looking at us as we walked down the street. "Fuck Noah. If didn't get money for you I throw you into the nearest dumpster. Now stop acting like a faggot." I was 5, I had no idea what the hell a faggot was. I don't remember much more until I was 7 we went to stay with my grandparents and my uncle. I remember he was so big. He was in high school and played football. I followed him everywhere. The best thing is he didn't mind he would put me on his shoulders be my little legs couldn't keep up with his long ones. "Up we Go Noah. Your little legs can't keep up and you're too valuable to lose." "Will I be big like you?" "Sure, will little buddy. It's in the genes he said as he sat me down on a wall." I remember looking into my jeans when he said that. He laughed. "Yeah there to Lil bud." I didn't understand it but If Uncle Jared said it. That meant it was true. Uncle Jared was so cool he had plenty of girlfriends and everyone liked him. I wanted to be just like him. Though girls were yucky to me. I wouldn't want them hanging all over me like they did him. It was Uncle Jared so then it must be alright. I was in the second grade and everyday Uncle Jared would pick me up from school and I would go back to his school with him while he went football practice. He'd always buy me an ice-cream cone or an Icie before we went home. He would make me finish it before we got home because grandma would like me eating before dinner unless it was a healthy snack. Though most times I wore almost as much as I ate. The best part was I shared a room with him. If I had a bad dream he put me in bed with him. I was one happy boy. Thanksgiving was coming up. I wasn't sure what that was. I asked my Mom and she said it was day people used to tell you how rotten a kid you are. I was sure to be the winner that night, she told me. And the rotten kid has to tell everyone thanks for giving them a place to sleep the food and the clothes and everything else they were given. If they forget all the bad things, they did they had to leave. Thanksgiving was two days away "Uncle Jared I don't want thanksgiving." "Why not Noah." "Because I don't want to win the rotten kid thing. I can't remember all the bad things I did and will have to leave." "I don't understand big guy. Tell me what you think thanksgiving is." I told him as much as I could remember what my mother told me. "Your Mom told you that?" "I asked her what thanksgiving was." Uncle Jared went down stairs. A few minutes later he came back and crawled into bed with me. I snuggled in against him. "It will be okay Noah. You are not the rotten kid. You're the best kid ever." I wanted to believe him. He was Uncle Jared he doesn't lie. He didn't know all the bad things I did though. I felt my uncle stir and heard him grown. I opened my eyes. I could hear my mother screaming down stairs and my grandmother telling her to calm down. "Fuck you, old lady, I came here because I thought you might want to meet your grandson. I thought maybe it might help him grow up to be a man. Instead he turned into a fucking liar. Making up stories like that. I would never say that about Thanksgiving. We are leaving. Jared is a bad influence." She screamed. "Emily please think about this. Wait till after Christmas." "Fuck you, fuck Thanksgiving. What a joke and there is no such thing as a fucking Christmas as far I am concerned for that brat. He is so bad he won't even get coal." I heard her stomping up the stairs mumbling what an evil rotten kid I was. I was terrified I knew I was going to be beaten for be a bad boy again. I burrowed into my uncle's chest and he held me tight. She came barging into the room and tried to grab me from the bed. "Touch him, I swear to God I will beat the fuck out of you." My Uncle Jared said to mother. My mother moved forward but Uncle Jared pushed me behind him. "Don't Em. I will do it." My mom must have believed him because she left. I heard her stomp down the stairs and out the door. "It's OK Noah, no one will hurt you as long as I am around. The next day my mother left with me in tow. It was pretty much the same over the next few years. My mom and I never went back to my grandparents or my uncle. I never got to meet my aunt Ruth because she was away at school. Now that I have, even though I am older, I am glad I didn't. By the time I was 10 I had learned a lot of things about my mom. She didn't like me and blamed me for everything. I learned never to cry. If did I was a faggot. That if I wanted I food I had to get it myself. That my mother's idea of Christmas was staying in the crack house and stay away from me. Which was a Christmas present in itself. It meant not being beaten by a belt because of so conceived misdoing on my part. Usually my just breathing pissed her off. My sex education started early. My mother had no problem fucking guys while I was in the room or in the same bed for that matter. It wasn't like I could pretend I was asleep she was pretty loud not to mention the bed bouncing. I usually just got up and slept in the bathroom. Who wants to see their mother riding a dick? So, you can see my childhood pretty much sucked. So, at the age of 10, I was going to churches to get food and clothing. If I was luck laundry soap and other the basics. Fast food joints were where I got my toilet paper, napkins, soap and cleaners. Plenty of times though newspaper would be used to wipe my ass. Using up the toilet paper was worth a beating with the belt buckle. When I was 14 my mom met Joe. Joe was a truck driver. I think it was more for my sake than hers, that Joe took us in. Joe treated me great I felt like I had some normalcy in my life. He would be on the road for weeks but that was okay my mom stayed off my back. I had my own room so if brought home a john I would have to have the visuals. She never brought one back when Joe was home though. I guess she figured out Joe only let her stay because of me and she had to watch her step. She had to be the good mother and so on. I don't think Joe was fooled though. We lived in a trailer. It wasn't a luxury model. You know them double wide jobs. Just a small older one but it was clean and in good repair. Like I said I had my own room. Which was awesome to me. Joe even had a computer, so I could check out porn on the internet. I would see bits of news about my hazard family. I knew my uncle was in the marines. I figured I wouldn't try to contact them. I have to admit I did once I found my grandparents number and called it. My grandmother answered I didn't say anything she just kept saying hello. Them she said Emily. I hung up. I did though stalk my uncle kind of. I looked at his Facebook follower his marine career. I was scared when he went to Iraq. I figured he probably forgot about me, but I couldn't forget about him. He was still my Uncle Jared. I still idolized him. He was awesome. Even if he forgot about me. When I was fifteen the inevitable happened my mom over dosed on heron. I felt bad. Not because my mom died. Because I was glad she was gone. I figured me a Joe can chill and relax and be happy. Maybe he can get him a nice girl. By this time, I pretty much figured out I was a gay. Joe knew said he didn't care. His exact words were: Whatever trips your trigger kid is cool with me. Just make sure you put the safety on and threw me a box of condoms. Unfortunately, it didn't work out that way. I was sent to my grandparents. Sorry this is so short folks but Noah's therapist orders. I am sure he will have to do this more often to get out those demons of his past. Even if he doesn't want too.
  15. Sometimes there are more truths in fiction than in non-fiction


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