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Dmrman

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1,346 I'm Unstoppable

About Dmrman

  • Rank
    Cool Member

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  • Gender
    Male
  • Sexuality
    Gay
  • Age
    61
  • Location
    Kalamazoo, Mi.
  • Interests
    music... counsel teens from abuse ect. ( Ironic ?) art... construction...walking.. hiking, camping fishing... work at the teen recovery (I LOVE this) love to cook,, I can surprise ya !!!!

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  • Public Email
    rbholtz1956@gmail.com

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  1. "  Touched  "                                                                                                                                                                                                    Touched... by the heat of the moment, This fantasy Or be it nightmare..? My heart cannot conclude nor deny the expressions of his touch for it desires " more"...!" more"...! than the very blood that flows through... excited by the warmth yet Cautioned, by the passion... why..

    why did that first touch take place, if the love was not mine too  have his touch has brought fear, how can this be ,yet He stroked with a life, a curiosity,  a powerful need... to have it's persistance ressonate, and sweat through my core as the body trembles...I ask...? is it love, or be a proxy of loves interpret Value...? The touch requires my soul, and body to respond yet... my mind is in great denial will this touch perish? Will my mind reflect the truth within me...? I quake and shiver.. as the heart pounds to the beat... the beat of his touch, the yearning, the rejection... the two battles simultaniously fight to inflict life sustaining.. or could it be  the touch, the caress was meant to kill? I must have clarity, and embroil  it through the filter of my heart, for the Intention of His touch must be put to the test, for the heart knows pain, while my mind deals with lust..., oh that this were the end of the journey to find his touch is the one that is real and truth and fulfilment to all that has been mere disception... my body engulfs.. as the heart stuggles the pain, and angony's not long ago manipulating the very walls as it cries out "DEAR sir , with sweet, attentive hands ... will you continue to touch as you have till now, or do I watch helplessly as your touch ,your need, rips me into Humiliation....?

  2. The Night Before

    Wow.. what a looser...! You picked on a Subject that Happen to me once...!!! it's kinda hard to respond to, I felt Everything from within you..., impossible to believe people can and do use people ..., LIKE A Bic lighter... !!! Entertwined in the Act, mistaken for love, yet turns out to Be just sex,, and the degree people will "Fake" to get what they want...!!! I hope in my heart this Very situation "Never" has happened to you...? This scenario while Very, VERY real I wouldn't wish on My worst enemy...!!! It Scares, and Rises to the top for A long Time...! and even DESTROYS ...!!! How sad when people Are treated as Just A Piece.. , How they can make you feel like the dirty one... .! when it happens, you feel violated, cheap, and Dirty...!!!! AND eventually VERY Mad... What you reflected ..., touched me like a hot knife stabbing to my Soul...!!! Thanks for sharing you most inner thought's... Your Passion speaks for itself...!!!!!!!!!!!!
  3. Let's Be Friends

    My thought on Cj and Owen is more mid stream, I mean I loved Owen , and true they got along, But Cj Is a natural charmer when it comes to People... Cj has already made it clear in the Past that he really didn't want a boy friend yet. I think that was smart! No matter what we think Cj Has proven..., He's boy.. with Great "capabilities" as an adult ! The way he handled Owen was typical Cj style , as was his reaction to Brett...! Cj being a bit more mature than Owen when time to leave Aussie land, ( Him comforting Owen, cheering him up...?) shows where he's at, and for the age difference,A more respectful approach...! He saved Moody for Papa...! sure he'll miss Owen, But I do see the Mature side picking up and moving on ( What can you do about it anyway...? ) He'll manage to keep in contact as time permits...! Cj Has certain Values that he desires to Accomplish...I think those ..are why he is willing to Wait on anything More Serious. . .!!! Now back to DC and more familiar sites..., Brrr. the Cold... Lot Of action ( why wouldn't there be...? ) I mean it's back to life as usual..., Vacations over time to take care of buisness again...! ( for all ) and certainly things are gonna change..., I do feel for Trip and hope he returns sooner than later...? I still Like the relationship to "Defiant" that's was a nice jesture... I actually thought/ thinking the new Boy Group Would Utilize" Defiant"one way or another? (I'm keeping quiet here.) When all is said and Done..., Life has to return to normal... or DOES it...? Thanks Carlos and your Editor/ Beta readers
  4. Bucket....I decided to bring this here instead of chat... 

     

    this is more personal...! I was dealing with this all day.. ( between Being worried about Gary having another run in with that Darn skunk...!!! And dealing within Myself How I feel I direspected you...!!! When I read your reply to my Question..."Bucket... How are you................! My heart sank...! I feel like I disrespected You..., And.. the loss of your Aunt...! I "Assumed" your trip was one of pleasure, and Not what you had presented In your response. It Saddened my heart..., even though It was not deliberate, none the less it was "Wrong"...!!! Earlier I wanted to find out from Lit about her son..., But I didn't want to "Rub Salt on her wound...! Yet I felt like a hypocrite ...,After knowing what I did to you :( It was like I dumped A whole barrel of salt on you :blushing: ..., It in my mind is" NEVER "ok to Make lite of someones Grief or Loss ...! I respect you, and felt it was a nessesity out of that respect..., to Appologize, and clear the air... So let me finish and Say to you I appologize for my actions..., I hope we will remain friends...? thanks DMRman (Bob) :hug:

    1. Bucket1

      Bucket1

      It’s ok. I didn’t feel disrespected. You asked how I was and I answered. All too often that is just a salutation rather than a real question. In the COTT chat, we are friends so tend to give the real answer to that and many other questions. There is no need to apologize but I will accept your apology in the spirit it was given. Your concern, the fact that you care enough to apologize is very much appreciated

  5. Cautious Man

    Yea I KNOW...!!!!
  6. Chapter 2<under editing>

    Yea ......I know those Disclaimer Clauses....
  7. Cautious Man

    i'm Begining to understands, some things you shared a few chapters back...!! Brett I thought being a hard nose... ! which he's mellowed... But I see things comming to a head, in the not too distant future... with Cesar... Cant quite put my finger on it but it's there...? Nice way to handle Cj's first time... ! They say absence makes the heart grow fonder... I think we will find out reall soon...!! Nice reading.... and now the saga continues...!!! "is it just a Romantic Fling...!Young in love so, So vulnerable...! Just have to wait... ! But a test for Cj" it's a coming" Hang here we go ....! Thanks Carlos... ( and Crew ) Itsa getten agood!
  8. Chapter 2<under editing>

    Dennis..., Go to the part..."He's going to die either way..., We all will." You left out the "what".. the Fuck is wrong. other than that it looks good...!!! ( so... when is chapter 3 cuming...? ) Talk at you later dude..!!
  9. Someday We'll Be Together

    Carlos.. Amigo , friend WOOOW!!!!! this was a fun Filled trip... I like the Fun that the Dads were having At Cj's exspense.. I really got hooked on the laughs inserted through out .. I just had to stop.. and breath. . !! I see them Expanding as a true Family, with all the quirks and fun that seem to just show up... Minimal Negative affects in this one.. Drew the D++++ Bag, and the Tradie... I'd say Not a whole lot of damage control, and a blizzard of fun... Reading on, this is better than my own life story so I'll just keep moving on...
  10. Dennis Read chapt DUE... ( that's ... two ... Slang... :gikkle:  !!!) I liked it,and I don't know if it was intended,  But a splash of humor to get me laughing:rofl::rofl::rofl: ONLY thing I really noticed  a word missing, but I got the flow and the whole connection....  So finish Editting it, and Sell the Sucker...:2thumbs:

    1. Show previous comments  4 more
    2. Dennis191

      Dennis191

      Nope. They better stay away from me precious brew. :)

      LOL

    3. Dmrman

      Dmrman

      See you in a bit...? Have to go to another class:huh: I think...:rofl: Check out my comment.. at chat, see if you can tag off it... :yes:... Talk in a while.., enjoy the brew..., and the Zombies....:rofl::hug:

    4. Dennis191

      Dennis191

      Yeah. Have fun man. :)

  11. Downhearted

    Indeed it has... And to have shared JUST the way you did..... I'D reconsider A follow up ... Your sharing Diversity and Love what more could you Want...? Like I said I have had the pleasure Myself In association with Downs and a very Pleasant one.. No one will Know unless we open the door for them to see....!!!! Just a thought ( a reallyLoud one..., But.. a thought ...? )
  12. Life... is like a bowl of Cherries....:pissed: and then you loose the bowl ....:huh: with the cherries in it !!!!!:P                                                                                                                      Had a great day today... I know I did...?:o:huh:  But for the love of money I just can't remember it???:o:huh:   And like.....Forest Gump said it was like a box of chocolate...Hell I can't remeber where I put the box at..?:angry: when life gets like that..., Just sit down, and relax if your like me..You'll forget within seconds.... Why you even Sat down....:huh::no::unsure2:. . .. I laughed when my Doctor told me I had sleep Apnea..., he told me I was a rare case, ( I could have told him that , and saved some money !)  I sat a few seconds longer..., ....lo..nng..er.. ., I felt weird?  As I came about ..., I first thought I had blacked out...?<_< ...! he continued..." Sir" he said "I told you... you were a rare and special Case !! , and He Shared " You have Narcolepsy...!!!":huh::o Oh... What's that...? "I said...."  He said" it's when you have no control Of Falling a sleep.. !!!! Well with that being said, It makes All my other Problems seem , Insignificant..... Cause I Just Sit down now , and all My problems end up in dream land with me....!!!!!:yawn::yawn:..:heart: :rofl: True Story....!!:yes:

  13. Chapter 7 Current Events

    Even my tears can't begin to express the humbling truth , The Fears, and the Grounds we thought Had been covered, and addressed only to find... the pains, and agony still digress in the poverty of persitant, pernicious words,thoughts, and actions.... trying to appease by way of apathy, antisemitic mindsets..... Using different tactics to dictate their sense of what is "NORMAL" or accepted and tolerated ...... The " FEAR" if not real" Should Be ...." The ground gained... Only Temporary... As We are numbered, and exsposed .... for the world to Know who, and what we are.... the Fear while less... can bring Destruction...! But Only if we let it...!!!! Well wrote and spoken from the HEART As a vet of Homaphobia, and Bigots... We have at our age experienced Moral breakdown and Hatred Very bad, But not at its Worste.... But...... "We Can.....NEVER .... give up!!! " Thanks Gary... We both have been through it, and in it this long... to Give up Now !!!!!!
  14. Downhearted

    Stunning display... of LOVE.. At it finest.... Dealing with a young Gay pair in My couseling group, you have Hit the nail on the core of my Heart... as I continued to read... Everything said restored me to thoughts of "MY" two young men...The endeard Name Of "Tigger" Fits and can feel and sense His excitement , and love for Evan sharing this...! Evan A very High Caliber, and compassionate person Revealing the Magnificent respect and love shadowed by Brian the ""ignorant" / or is speaking what he's taught from someone of influence........? (Parents or Friends...?) People who have never dealt with Downs Kids/ Adults Obviously can't understand How Very Much Endearing these Marvelous people can be !!! We all can Learn... A lot from them, and should take notes....!!!!!!! We need More examples of writings that really display just How Diverse we are.... It has been my pleasure a delightful phenomenon...to see Love working Unconditionaly through them... straight or gay.... they tend and care for each others needs unselfishly... keeping the needs, and well being of each other at the forfront.... without expectation....!!!!! I love watching them it gives Me encouragement, and Growth.... If you don't know any, Find them... let them Teach YOU... It's a lesson You can't Buy !!!! " Are there any plans to add to This ????" If soooooo.... Pleaaaaase Let me know! you've created a venue that needs more addressing ....Thanks
  15. ( this post has been Edited, and Added on to, The first Part was origionaly posted I choose to keep, and add My heart... as you have given your Hearts to Me:heart:.. !!!!)            I had a thought while . . reading a couple of personal updates, Life is a workout, like going to the Gym :yes: . The real challenge is when your "Left by yourself" don't. . . worry about being arrogant... Be grateful .... Don't quit....:no: Still work it out. .  The pain you go through will challenge you to the "Next "level of Who you really Are! these are life lessons I have seen in one form or... "another"... We go through the. . . training.. We may just as well get the benefits from it, being Developed through Strength, and endurance for the next Marathon challenge !:fight: Many here have shared,cared, and despared..!yet were here for Another Workout!!! I see us all in GROUP training, and glad to :hug: be training and challenged with YOU !!! :heart::yes:                                                                                          GA has shown it's heart,and ....... reresented well.... Lit lover...., shared about the Diversity of people, and areas their from,Its ... exciting to know, and feel.... the presence, and... passion at GA... Different things that I personally have Been "so" Grateful for is the  consistency here.Many quotes come mind of what I have been" taught" here..:  "You can not shake hands.... with a clenched Fist. . .!"  (Inolira Gandhi)    " It does not... matter how slow you go.... as long as you don't..... Stop...!! (Confucious) "Personally I'm always ready to learn... Although I do not always like being Taught...! " (Winston Churchill) "Accept the Challenges... so that you can Feel the exhilaration Of .... Victory....." ( General Patton) and lastly, I have learned many valuable lessons here, not just writing, but a pluperfect means of dealing with..... everyday life, and I've found it right here on GA.. I've found..... that knowledge is of "NO" value... Unless you put it into practice..,And lastly : "Hatred is Corrosive... of a persons Wisdom, and conscience: the mentality of enmity can poison a Nations spirit, Instigate Brutal life and death Struggles, Destroy a society's tolerance, and Humanity....., and Block a nations progress to freedom and Democracy... ! ( Liu Xia Obo )...   "I don't" write these to see if I can brown nose people...! The totality of Value exceeds any thing Money can buy... The Largest task I ever excelled in was that of Understanding the very value of my life... The agony, and pain only to serve as motivation to live, and rise to higher, greater, and more promising levels.levels of... wisdom,love,compas-sion,endurance....,strength,...perser-verance, and...... a whole different perception about life... Encouraged by you GA to fight, and" win "a battle over life, and death,........ which were not in my capable hands....! but from Diverse strangers... accepting me where I was at, and where I am at...! The value,... Treasure, Gems, and Gold have been...." consitently"....... given freely, without expectation other than... "Respect",And the bonus is...... the friends I have... fondly grown to.. love and cherish, they have let me know I matter, and in return, I freely chose ......to acknowledge ..., "They Matter",and are the "MOST" Valuable Asset that I would "never" trade for Anything You traded... your compassion ,and friendship in return...I kept on Living... A choice not of my own but by your love, and coercion, I...I am a product of what "YOU"here at GA make,reform, redesign...,create,fabricate. You... because your love your Work, your skills,your abilaties...!"you" Create Life through Fiction... That seems SOOOOO real, true,perfect, and on time...!!!! "this"...!!"This" Is you GA :heart::heart:!!!!

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