Single Status Update
Sorry... Anticipation, adrenaline, Hyper, and loud, loud ticking of the clock... thunderous, booming as the hands slowly move... as my mind continues to rush full speed with blurred and ricocheted fears. My God it has been 4 years since I lost my sight...It may not seem important until you have lost it, and you realize life still goes on and you learn a new way of doing and becoming a stable person all over Again...! a community asset... not a deficit ... encouraging others through your quickly learned strengths while ... you struggle to learn more every day... and being the mentor to all you encounter... It is thrilling and invigorating and frankly quite scary...amazing how fast the mind works while operating in fear and excitement at the same time... when will it stop... when I had first lost my sight it was easy to accept, nothing I could do...! but now it's the opposite and I am more scared ..then before. why Is that...? when it's all said and done will I remain the person I have become through the loss of sight...I believe my inner character has matured, and all that is in me screams. I don't through gaining my sight want to lose what I"ve found when I lost my sight...Sound complicated...? be inside My head a while, and know I truly appreciate My growth and inner security since I lost my sight and If I will Lose all that I have gained.. since that time, is It Really worth the Gain... ??? My gain or my loss which will it be...? the choice remains Mine to sort through with the extreme intellect that examines all My accomplishments achieved by nothing Less than Integrity...!!! Blind... or sight I must remain what I've become while blind... Loving. compassionate, helpful, understanding... and Most of all A Mentor for all I run into...That will be the True reward.
I had to read this over twice to be certain that I understood what you were saying before replying but I knew that I had to reply.
I can understand why you're questioning this; your head must be swimming with emotion at the moment and I know I would be thinking non-stop about it, examining every aspect.
I don't think that you'll lose anything that you've gained over the past four years because I don't believe it's possible to undo or unlearn how to be a better person. I've heard people talk about how their other senses seemed to try to compensate for their loss of sight almost as if they knew that their jobs had become so much more important. I believe that the brain also steps up in these cases as it often does with people who lose the use of their legs.
I don't see how you can lose these important gains, unless you deliberately choose to do so. You should be able to have the best of both worlds but don't feel bad about it. I would look at it as compensation for all that you have had to endure over the past four years.
Our thoughts are with you my friend.
Wow... thanks, Dodger... the most exciting and profound part is... You got what I have been thinking and feeling... I read it a few... times myself and even rewrote a few sections to really line up what and how I wanted to say... An internal Riddle of my mind and heart... and if everybody grabbed out of it what you have then I am sure within myself not only will I remain as good but become better...as a person if my life... the loss of sight meant I had to slow down and use other senses now with it back should allow me a broader use of those senses... thanks again and my reasons to write this the way I have has been to slow people down to think and use the very senses they have not just read a comment and move on...