For me, I always thought that there were cute boys in my class. In sixth grade, I started going to a private Catholic school. Anyways, Catholic school, along with my dad, drilled it into my head that guys aren’t meant to like guys. I guess that stunted me, because I didn’t actually realize I liked guys until I was about 14, even then I denied it until I was 17. When I started middle school, I found James really sexy, not his two other brothers though (triplets). Anyways, nothing happened, but we knew. It took me about 6 years to piece this together, but he and his brothers left the school after the year. His parents pulled them out because James came out to them, said he liked me. I always had to hide myself, the extremely bad bullying would have gotten even worse. Hell, I probably would’ve been kicked out. In eigth grade, my “best” friend started taking advantage of me, my naïveté and my inexperience, and lured me in. Because of that asshole, I wanted to be nothing like him. So I continued to tell myself I’m straight. I went back to public high school, (the asshole who abused me went to that school, I foolishly never pressed charges) and I got a girlfriend, one I’d known since elementary school. We broke up shortly after, and that screwed me up bad. Turned out, the asshole had set it up as revenge for me telling. That was only halfway through 9th grade. I was still screwed up by it halfway through 11th grade. Then, I had gym class with Jake, and we flirted so much. He is so beautiful, and I do like him a lot. I was still trying to convince myself I was straight, and when he approached me to ask me out, I freaked out. I walked away. I instantly regretted my decision, and I’ve never been the same. We never talked again, and I always feel terrible because I know I hurt him majorly. Every time I think of what I did to him, almost daily, I kick myself. It’s because of my tormentors in middle school, the asshole, and the “girlfriend” that I have major trust issues, having the pre-existing depression and major anxiety didn’t help. I only came out when I was forced to by my parents last year, when I was 20. I hate the way they did it. They say they don’t care, but they don’t talk about it, and avoid topics of homosexuality like I’m going to get mad, offended, or something. I was able to cope for years by not trusting others, even my therapists who I constantly lied to, not my parents, not my friends, not even my dogs. One thing I learned after the “girlfriend” was just to keep everything to myself. It’s easier that way for me, I don’t have to deal with it. I digress, but my parents know, my sister, and some of my friends. Anyways, that’s my crappy coming out story. There was other stuff, but this is the main part.