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18 Moving In The Right Direction

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About FindThySky

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    Bisexual, leaning male
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    Sydney, Australia
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  1. FindThySky

    Best Friends

    It's a pretty good start. You've managed to set up the foundations and introduced us to the characters. I feel the pacing is a little fast but as a prologue I think it is understandable to not delve into too much depth. It'll be interesting to see how you seek to develop Andy and Rex in the "present" when they are no longer together. I don't find the pacing problematic, but it's more the fact that you tend to be telling, not showing. For example: "Cynthia might have seemed strict, but she was actually a great woman." How is Cynthia a great woman? What is it that makes her great? You've done well to show her tone of speech as comforting and that is associated with a positive quality for a character, but I would have loved for a bit more character descriptions and interactions to show what they are like. As a suggestion, one potential I see for this is when you wrote: "Even though our families had already 'officially' said goodbyes over dinner the previous night, I had to go and see Rex one more time." Imagine the dialogue that could have taken place when the families were saying goodbye if you inserted that as a plot point. That offers quite a lot of depth into developing their character profile. For example, would Cynthia be saying goodbye with a smile to show that she accepts the next phase of their life and thus portrays her as someone not afraid of change? Would she have tears in her eyes to mirror the fact that she does not wish to leave this place and is easily affected by emotion? Would her husband Thomas be slightly irritable because he wants to pack the luggage quickly? That can display him as a man who likes to stay ahead of schedule. The possibilities of these little details are endless and really sets up their personalities for what is to come. ๐Ÿ˜ In any case, the potential for such a plot has captured me. I'll follow you along on the journey. Remember to always consider what it is you have written and what more you could write to further enhance it. Good luck!
  2. G'day mate

    Welcome to GA, I hope you enjoy your stay here.

    I am in Western Australia, so feel free to email me if you have any questions, there are a number of Aussies on GA, Graham is from out your way and he is a newly promoted staff member now.

    Regards Quokka

    1. FindThySky


      Thank you very much for the welcome. It's good to see other Australians on the site. I had a look around earlier but I wasn't able to find anyone else until now.ย ๐Ÿ˜„


      I'll be sure to ask if I haveย any concerns. Hoping to make some contributions to the story archives in due time.




  3. FindThySky

    New Members Welcome-Introduce Yourself!

    Good day, everyone. It's a pleasure to be here. ๐Ÿ‘‹๐Ÿ˜ I've wanted to write a kind of romance story for a long, long time. But every time I try it either ends up getting much longer than I expect or I get caught up in a writer's block. Will this time be different? I sure hope so! I've got one in the pipeline at the moment. Progress is slow as I like to approach my writing methodically, which may be part of the reason why I never managed to put anything substantial out there. I've read articles regarding how it can be better to just launch straight in and let the momentum do the work but as much as I agree it's feasible I tend to overthink and can't adjust to that mindset. But, I digress. I'll do my best to deliver something polished that both I and any potential readers enjoy, even though it may be a while before I do so. Thanks for having me GA! See you guys around. ๐Ÿ˜€

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