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RIP - Comicality
    Ron
  • Ron
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  • 09/07/2013
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Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

The Difference Between Me and Me - 1. The Story

The original title for this chapter was "Some Things Don't Stay the Same" and was meant to be part of an ongoing storyline which never happened.

Lately I’ve been wondering if the world has flipped on me. It seems as if I went to sleep, everything was normal, and the next day I wake up and I'm not myself. I’m definitely not myself at all. I’ve started noticing things about my best friend Jeremy that I have never thought of before. Like the color of his eyes. I mean, I know they are green, they’re hard to miss, but now they’re more than that. They have an electrical quality to them; the green around his pupils lashes out like the discharge from the Tesla coil we saw in science class. They have this aquamarine-like corona, God, his eyes are nothing short of beautiful and that’s part of the problem—that I think a boy's eyes are beautiful. This almost got me into trouble a week ago.

“Come on, Sam. Get your lazy ass out of bed,” Jeremy yelled at me through the bedroom window. This was after he threw pebbles at it trying to get my attention. I was up already, sort of. It was true, I was idling in bed while oddly half-dreaming about getting my dick stroked. When the window started pinging at me, I discovered it was me that was doing the stroking. I gave up and went to the window. Peeking out between the aluminum vanes of the window shade, I yelled back at Jeremy.

“Go around back, the door’s probably open.” Jeremy shuffled off at a lope and I pulled some tighty whities out of my dresser and pulled them on. Jeremy and I were going to run today and I liked the support, besides my running shorts were sorta see-through when I sweated so a jock wouldn’t do. Yanking a pair of running shorts out of the same drawer, I got them up around my knees before Jeremy opened my bedroom door.

“Turn off the sun, aaahh, your blinding me.” Jeremy flashed his hands up into the shape of a cross in front of his face. “Who does your laundry, bud? I know it’s not you; those undies are too white. Or did Mommy buy you some new ones?” Jeremy laughed. I huffed and he plopped himself down on my bed and laid back, his head lying on the spot I had just vacated. I wondered if it was still warm. And then I thought about what I was doing before he interrupted me and I felt my face getting warm. Grabbing some socks, a t-shirt and my running shoes, I walked out the door.

“Are you coming or not?” I called back over my shoulder while heading down the hall to the kitchen. Reaching into the fridge and pulling out the orange juice, I turned around to see Jeremy sitting on the other side of the kitchen island. Shaking the container at him, I asked, “Do you want some?” He nodded his head yes and I poured two glasses for us. I clinked the glasses together and said, “Cheers!”, and handed him one. “Where we going to run today? I’m not sure if I am up to a long run around the track down at the field.” I paused a moment and added, “I feel like all the other runners are pushing me to go faster all the time, or be run over. I was completely wrung out after the last time we went and I was in bed at like ten, dude. You know I’m never in bed before one during the summer.” Jeremy was kinda smirking at me.

“I have a plan, Sam,” Jeremy replied. “Stuff some money in your inside pocket. We're going to run over to the river and then follow along the park path.” He smiled widely at me and winked.

“Okay, I’ll bite.” I rolled my eyes. “Money, Jeremy?”

“That’s for ice cream. There’s a new spot opened up on Granger Street by the dog park. I don’t know who did their marketing,” Jeremy plugged his nose dramatically then let go, “I mean, it smells there sometimes,” he said. “Anyway, I heard that the ice cream is real good and they have like twenty-three flavors or something. It’s supposed to be homemade, whatever that’s supposed to mean. It’s a shop, right?”

I shoved the now empty juice glasses into the sink, and after making sure the back door was locked, gave a come on gesture to Jeremy and headed to the front door. After locking up we moved to the front lawn to do our stretches before we took off. Jeremy sat beside me as we reached for our toes. I couldn’t help but glance at his legs, his right leg was so near mine that I could feel the hairs on it brush against my leg. Jeremy and I are about the same height, give or take a half-inch, and his legs are just as long as mine but way more muscular. When did he get so hairy, I thought. I see him nearly every day; when did that happen? I looked over at Jeremy then and found him watching me. I must have been doing more than glancing, my face got warm again so I gave him some teeth and turned back to what I was supposed to be doing instead of staring at different parts of him. Jumping up and finishing our stretch routine, we then started out at a jog till we got to the river. Once there, I looked over at Jeremy and grinned.

“Last one to the ice cream parlor pays for both,” I said and then quickly took off running ahead of him. It didn't take long for Jeremy to catch up with me and we settled into a nice pace. We were about three-quarters of the way to the ice cream parlor when I got a cramp in my left calf and pulled myself off to the side of the path. Probably not enough liquid before running, it isn't the first time I've done that, I thought. It took Jeremy a few more strides to notice I wasn't with him before turning back and joining me on the grass. I was already massaging my leg, it hurt. Jeremy dropped down panting in front of me.

“Hey, lie back,” Jeremy said. “Let me do that.” I fell back and he grabbed a hold of my calf, squeezing and pushing the muscle. I could feel the tension slowly dissipate till it was gone completely and Jeremy then switched over to my right calf; it didn't hurt but I didn't say anything. His hands felt so warm and nice and his touching me felt good. After a minute or two Jeremy stopped. “You know, you need to drink more liquid before heading out on a run. That juice wasn't enough.” Standing up, Jeremy said, “Let’s try this again.”

“Now you remind me. Where were you back at the house?” I said, a little annoyed now. I reached up with my hands. “Give me a pull up, will ya?” Jeremy grabbed my hands and yanked. “Okay, the calf feels good, let’s go.” Jeremy backed up toward the path and with my first step I pitched forward and landed on the grass, luckily putting my hands in front of me, preventing my face from hitting the ground. I rolled over trying to find out what I had tripped over; I didn't recall seeing anything lying around when I initially walked off the path. Jeremy started laughing and that’s when I noticed. He had tied my shoelaces together. “Fuck, Jeremy! I nearly smashed my face. That wasn't funny,” I yelled at him. I looked around to see if anyone had seen me fall. No one was in sight but I was embarrassed anyway and I could feel my face getting warm again. I glared at Jeremy. “Shit!” I threw the word at him. I wanted to hit him, him and his not-so-funny practical joke. Reaching down, I yanked viciously at the knot, pulling it apart and retying my shoes. Jeremy walked up beside me. I wasn't through with him yet and I grabbed a hold of an ankle and pulled hard.

“Aagh,” cried Jeremy as he fell. Just my luck though, he landed half on top of me. I pushed him roughly over and rolled on top of him. My face was about a foot from his and then those eyes caught mine and . . . I got lost. Jeremy’s eyes were lightning flash colors of green and blue and they looked back at me shining with amusement and offering me everything. I seemed to be falling inwards. I could see my reflection in his eyes getting closer. I licked my lips. Jeremy smiled at me, and I parted them and leaned in another inch. I knew what was going to happen; I was going to kiss him.

“Damn it!” I cried, suddenly pushing away from Jeremy. I looked at him out of the corner of my eye, he looked confused. “Fuck!” I yelled and stood up, and without a backward glance I took off running toward home. Oh God, what was I doing? I – I almost kissed my best friend. I’m going nuts, I thought. “First it’s ogling Jeremy’s hairy legs and then it’s his eyes, jeez. I’m going crazy,” I said aloud to myself. “That must be it. Or, have I become some changeling? Just when did I become this other person?”

Please leave a review or a comment to let me know what you think. Your thoughts can only help me be a better writer and story teller. Please don't forget to like this or click and leave a star rating. Thanks so much.
2013-2014 R.L. Hunter; All Rights Reserved
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Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 
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Chapter Comments

Lisa

This was a very good portrayal of a boy realizing his feelings for his best friend have shifted. It must be very confusing to a boy to suddenly find himself attracted to another boy, never mind that boy being his best friend.

 

Oh, I wanted to point out, the last sentence of the second paragraph said, "I yelled back at Sam." It should have said, "I yelled back at Jeremy." And in the third paragraph, first sentence, Jeremy is Sam again. I wanted to let you know in case you wanted to go back and change it. =)

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Ron

Ron 5,742

Posted (edited)

On 9/7/2013 at 4:16 PM, Lisa said:

This was a very good portrayal of a boy realizing his feelings for his best friend have shifted. It must be very confusing to a boy to suddenly find himself attracted to another boy, never mind that boy being his best friend.

 

Oh, I wanted to point out, the last sentence of the second paragraph said, "I yelled back at Sam." It should have said, "I yelled back at Jeremy." And in the third paragraph, first sentence, Jeremy is Sam again. I wanted to let you know in case you wanted to go back and change it. 😃

Oh crap! What a goof. And yeah, I was really trying for the sense of displacement that it can cause. Thanks!

Edited by Ron
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ShadowDancer

Really liked your short story, wonder what would have happened if it had been a longer story. lol. Keep up the good work, waiting to see what else you come up with. :2thumbs:

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Ron

Ron 5,742

Posted (edited)

On 9/8/2013 at 10:38 PM, ShadowDancer said:

Really liked your short story, wonder what would have happened if it had been a longer story. lol. Keep up the good work, waiting to see what else you come up with. :2thumbs:

Thanks for taking a peek. I wrote this in reply to a story prompt - quick and not too lengthy. You never know, might be more with these two to come.

Edited by Ron
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thebrinkoftime

I really liked the running metaphors in this story. The main character gets cramps and can't keep the pace his friend is setting because he didn't drink enough water, which I interpret to mean he hasn't yet swallowed down his feelings for his friend and accepted him. Jeremy is kind and friendly throughout, smoothing away his pain, but our protagonist is too wrapped up in his own feelings to notice. When he gets up and trips over his shoes, it's almost like Jeremy's charming personality and face is the one playing practical jokes on him. When he pulls Jeremy down to his level, for a second, it's almost as if he has accepted the strange place he's found himself in and is pulling Jeremy into the same world. Jeremy's eyes seem to say he's okay with it, at least.

 

Ah, but teenagers! It's extremely rare if they have any kind of serious emotional intelligence, so the two best friend's morning jog doesn't end that well and the narrative is spiced and dipped in the confusion of the main character. I really liked the way the main character's was related through the first person narration. Usually when we read the first person narration of a young boy, for the narrative's sake we endow him with writing skills he probably doesn't have yet, but somehow you struck a nice balance between readability and the character's awkward teenage voice.

 

I enjoyed your story quite a bit, but I felt it was quite sloppy in parts. For instance, even though we get to hear the main character's thoughts throughout, there's only one bit where it is related via quotations and italics and then immediately it goes back to normal prose even though the character is presumably still thinking. It isn't consistent throughout. Little things like that, if you improve them, can make a good story sparkle even brighter. I would have criticized the really cliched situation of a morning run between two teenage boys, but you took a lot of original elements (the ice cream shop near the smelly lake, the practical jokes and cramping) and made it your own, so kudos for that.

 

Nonetheless, it's a fine piece and I hope you continue to write more stories in the future.

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Ron
On 09/10/2013 01:39 PM, thebrinkoftime said:
I really liked the running metaphors in this story. The main character gets cramps and can't keep the pace his friend is setting because he didn't drink enough water, which I interpret to mean he hasn't yet swallowed down his feelings for his friend and accepted him. Jeremy is kind and friendly throughout, smoothing away his pain, but our protagonist is too wrapped up in his own feelings to notice. When he gets up and trips over his shoes, it's almost like Jeremy's charming personality and face is the one playing practical jokes on him. When he pulls Jeremy down to his level, for a second, it's almost as if he has accepted the strange place he's found himself in and is pulling Jeremy into the same world. Jeremy's eyes seem to say he's okay with it, at least.

 

Ah, but teenagers! It's extremely rare if they have any kind of serious emotional intelligence, so the two best friend's morning jog doesn't end that well and the narrative is spiced and dipped in the confusion of the main character. I really liked the way the main character's was related through the first person narration. Usually when we read the first person narration of a young boy, for the narrative's sake we endow him with writing skills he probably doesn't have yet, but somehow you struck a nice balance between readability and the character's awkward teenage voice.

 

I enjoyed your story quite a bit, but I felt it was quite sloppy in parts. For instance, even though we get to hear the main character's thoughts throughout, there's only one bit where it is related via quotations and italics and then immediately it goes back to normal prose even though the character is presumably still thinking. It isn't consistent throughout. Little things like that, if you improve them, can make a good story sparkle even brighter. I would have criticized the really cliched situation of a morning run between two teenage boys, but you took a lot of original elements (the ice cream shop near the smelly lake, the practical jokes and cramping) and made it your own, so kudos for that.

 

Nonetheless, it's a fine piece and I hope you continue to write more stories in the future.

Noted and appreciated. Yes, the metaphors were certainly running all over the place weren't they? I see them now that you've pointed them out but I’m not sure that it was conscience effort on my part. The story just seemed to be mostly already ‘there’, if you will, as I typed it. I am very happy that you liked the first person narrative.

 

Your suggestion that using the situation of a morning run can be really cliché is confusing. While one might think the situation somewhat overused, it is something that millions of people do every day. In fact it’s as commonplace as to be not worth remarking upon. Many situations fall into this position, I think, should we not use any of them? I used the run merely as backdrop to showcase more important elements of the story which I’m happy that you point out.

 

I appreciate the criticism concerning the sloppy bits. I didn't see them and I have made the corrections so hopefully the story is better reading and perhaps a little more sparkly.

 

Thank you so much for your review, Brink.

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CassieQ

I seriously hope that you plan on continuing this. I love the way things are developing between the two friends and you have a great beginning for a story if you plan to build upon this (I hope I hope I hope). Well done!

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Ron
On 09/20/2013 10:26 AM, CassieQ said:
I seriously hope that you plan on continuing this. I love the way things are developing between the two friends and you have a great beginning for a story if you plan to build upon this (I hope I hope I hope). Well done!
Thank you, CassieQ. I do have something in the works for these two. I quite like them myself.
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Daddydavek

So you got it all tweaked and shined up and you better damn not leave us hanging! Just say I want some more!

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Ron
On 07/21/2014 06:34 AM, Daddydavek said:
So you got it all tweaked and shined up and you better damn not leave us hanging! Just say I want some more!
Thanks for reading Dave. There is another 'Sam and Jeremy' story being edited. I'll post it soon. Glad you to hear you liked the story.
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Ron
On 08/06/2014 04:06 PM, Ben Highlander said:
WANT SOME MORE...!
Glad to hear it! Thanks for reading and taking the time to comment, Dampies.
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Rano

First awakenings. First attractions. Your title fits this little cameo very well - linking totally to the contents of Sam's awakening and awareness of deeper emotions, inclinations towards Jeremy. I loved the way you have described the first "objects of confusion" that caused Sam's inner turmoil - Jeremy's eyes; and twice you made reference to this aspect of confusion-causing. And then the sudden awareness of Jeremy's leg hairs...Ron, I liked this short little tale, but it really cries out for more. This is a wonderful intro to something that may become much bigger. You should seriously consider doing so. Well done :thumbup:

Afterthought: you would never guess how I happened upon this story of yours :P or would you :rolleyes:

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Ron
On 08/08/2014 09:51 AM, Rano said:
First awakenings. First attractions. Your title fits this little cameo very well - linking totally to the contents of Sam's awakening and awareness of deeper emotions, inclinations towards Jeremy. I loved the way you have described the first "objects of confusion" that caused Sam's inner turmoil - Jeremy's eyes; and twice you made reference to this aspect of confusion-causing. And then the sudden awareness of Jeremy's leg hairs...Ron, I liked this short little tale, but it really cries out for more. This is a wonderful intro to something that may become much bigger. You should seriously consider doing so. Well done :thumbup:

Afterthought: you would never guess how I happened upon this story of yours :P or would you :rolleyes:

Last things first; I would hazard a guess. I believe the answer is that I landed on your radar, and for whatever reason, I am glad that I did.

 

Rano, I very much appreciate the review. I fussed over the title; it is nice to know that it was a good fit. Thanks for noticing the little things that begin to crowd into Sam's mind. More 'Sam and Jeremy' coming soon, but as a stand-alone tale.

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Brayon

A brilliantly written scene, of a teen learning, that his feelings have changed from friendship to romantic. Love it.

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Ron
18 hours ago, BHopper2 said:

A brilliantly written scene, of a teen learning, that his feelings have changed from friendship to romantic. Love it.

Thank you for reading. I’m glad to hear you enjoyed this tidbit with the guys.

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