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Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

Cards on the Table - 2. Chapter 2 Know when to fold 'em

The deck is stacked against them and nobody wins.

Chapter 2

 

Michael couldn't move. He'd heard everything Kendall had said, and saw him leave, but it felt like he was listening and watching from a distance. Wrapping his mind around what had just happened was an excruciating process as the pain he was feeling slowed it, almost to a standstill. Kendall loved him, really loved him. and that confession was slowly seeping in. To hear the words was one thing, but the feelings that came with that revelation were quite another. What did he feel? There was something there he couldn't identify. He wasn't sure, but it was almost a good feeling. Yet, this wasn't something to feel good about. It ruined everything. Didn't it?

Kendall thought Michael was angry... he'd said so. Was he pissed off at Kendall? No, he was pretty sure he wasn't. Thinking about him didn't bring him any anger. Yet, the more he thought about it, the more he could feel a rage building. Oh God, he was angry. Like a bolt of lightning, it hit him hard. He was so fucking angry. He wanted, no, he needed to hit something. As the anguish grew in him, he thought he might break apart from the strength of it. How could this be happening? How could he lose the one person in this world he truly connected with?

It wasn't just their mutual love of sports... the same interests and long history. It was something a lot more than that, like they shared something deep... something no one else could touch. He was losing his friend because he couldn't love him back? How fucking unfair was that? He did love him, and he needed him. The emptiness he was feeling proved that. He didn't know about others' friendships, but for him it felt like Kendall was his other half... his best half. Tears of pain were morphing into tears of fury and he had to get out of here. A surge of energy went through him that couldn't be ignored. He bolted out of the booth to run smack into Candy. Oh fuck... Candy!

"Not now, Candy," he choked out, not giving a shit how he looked to her.

"Baby, what's going on? What's the matter? Jesus, look at you... are you... are you crying?" Her look of concern quickly changed to one of calculation. "Is this about... oh... where did your boyfriend go?" She appeared to find her own words amusing, and Michael's rage escalated.

At that moment he wanted nothing more than to wipe the smirk off her face. "I said not now." It came out as a growl as he wiped his eyes and glared at her. Watching this young woman paste a fake concerned look back on her face, Michael wondered what he'd ever seen in her. Despite the mask she slipped back into place, she was actually enjoying this. "Why are you being such a bitch? Kendall's not my boyfriend, but he is my best friend, so watch your mouth." The lack of truth in that statement hit him with an intensity that fed his rage. According to Kendall, he had no best friend anymore.

"Oh, come on, Michael," she whined as she put her hand on his arm. He experienced revulsion at her touch, but controlled the urge to yank his arm away. "You can't tell me you don't notice the way he stares at you. If you ask me, I think he's a fag who wants that sexy ass of yours." She was stupid enough to giggle.

The urge was back and this time he followed through, jerking his arm back and away from her. The anger he directed towards her at that comment was unmistakable, even to an idiot like Candy. "Nobody asked you and no one, and I mean no one, gives a shit what you think." He had to force himself to remember he was talking to a woman. If it had been a guy, he would have been on the floor by now. Surprisingly, his turmoil receded enough to allow him to deal with this as the man his parents raised took over.

He looked around the pool hall end of the bar until he spotted the person he was seeking. "Hey, Dave, can you come over here for a sec?" The short man nodded, and ambled over towards the two of them.

Glancing at Candy, Michael saw the confused look on her face. He then looked over at Dave, who was obviously trying to be nonchalant as he assessed the situation. It wasn't difficult to tell something was very wrong here. He was sure he appeared on the edge of violence, but attempted to cover it as he addressed his friend. "Dave, something's come up and I need someone to take Candy home... any chance you could do that for me? I'll owe you one."

As expected, he watched Candy go from confused to livid as she realized she was being pawned off. It was time to try a new tactic, so she made a wasted attempt at damage control. Flicking her pretty blond hair and giving him what she thought was a captivating smile, she reached up to touch his cheek. The revulsion he'd felt was still there, and he stepped back from the gesture. Her inclination to be self absorbed prevented her from getting the message.

"I'm sorry, baby. I didn't mean it like that. I was just joking with you. Let's just go out like we planned, and have some fun, or we can go back to your place and have a different kind of fun if that's what you want?"

Michael wanted to puke as he watched her try to give him her most provocative look.

As she ran her fingers along the edge of the lacy fabric only partially concealing her cleavage, she whispered seductively, "You know you want to." Biting her lower lip and peering up at him through lowered lashes, she had no inkling how pathetic Michael was finding her in that moment. A part of him felt sorry for her when all he could think of was Kendall, and the state he'd been in.

"Actually, I don't. As a matter of fact, it's the last thing I want to do right now. You did mean what you said, and I realize now you and I are a mistake, and I don't want to be around you anymore." His words caused Candy's jaw to drop, but that fleeting moment of sympathy was gone. "So, Dave, if you could do this for me, I would really appreciate it... the lady," he hesitated before he continued. "The lady needs a ride home."

Dave, looking mortified, nodded in somewhat reluctant agreement and Michael started heading for the front door. He knew it was coming, and the bitch didn't disappoint.

"Michael," she wailed. "Why are you being like this? I'm sorry. Please take me with you. I... I love you, Michael."

It was the second time someone had said those words to him tonight, and the difference was startling. He turned around at the door to look at her, fake tears streaming down her face, ruining her perfectly made up face. She even managed to pout while pretending to cry. He wondered for a split second why he had never seen her face without makeup, even in the mornings. "I'm sorry too, Candy, and no, you don't love me... I know what someone in love looks like, and it doesn't look like that." Going out the door, he heard the real Candy scream behind him.

"Go ahead. Run after your faggot boyfriend, you fucking prick. You're a bastard, Michael Aceto." The door closed to block out the rest of her words and for a second he felt bad again. Not for her, but for what he'd just done to Dave.

The relief he experienced at getting out of there was short-lived, however, as waves of despair washed over him. Kendall walking away from him was all his mind could focus on, the momentary respite from tears having ended. He searched for the rage that had encompassed him to the point of frightening him, but it had dissipated for the time being. Candy, while leaving a vile taste in his mouth, had proved to be good for something. Dealing with her had allowed him to become a little more aware, and somewhat more able to process his new reality. As much as he didn't want to accept it, he knew he had to.

The picture of the man spilling his heart out, wreathed in an unfamiliar agony, superimposed itself over everything else in the forefront of his brain. That was what mattered most to Michael as some clarity asserted itself. Actually, it was the only thing that mattered. His friend needed this from him, and his feeling of loss was secondary to what he'd witnessed the man go through. The sheer guts it must have taken started to make him feel ashamed about wallowing in what he was losing. As Kendall had said to him earlier... it was his loss too.

He should have said something . Why didn't he tell his friend he understood and wasn't pissed in the slightest? He should have gone after him. Oh, God... he let him leave like that. He'd let Kendall drive away thinking he didn't want to talk to him. Shit, shit, shit. He hadn't even said goodbye.

Hoping the distraught man had made it home okay, Michael reached into his pocket for his phone. All ready to call him to make sure, he stared at the lit up screen showing the photo of the two of them at the Vancouver Olympics, all smiles over the hockey Gold Medal win. It was his favorite picture of them out of probably a thousand taken over the last six years. The memory of such a happy day was tempered now by the fact he could not make the intended call. Kendall needed him to keep his distance. Dropping the phone down beside him in defeat, he started up his truck and pulled out.

There was almost no traffic, which suited his mood to a tee. Lost in a numbness that blunted thought, Michael tried to concentrate on the road ahead of him. It was no easy task as his mind kept wandering. If it wasn't for his police training, distracted as he was, he might not have even noticed the vehicle pulled over to the side, just ahead. He slowed, and as it came into closer view, Michael's heart thumped with the realization he was looking at Kendall's black Ford F150. All the clouds lifted from his mind as sharp trepidation took over.

Fearing for Kendall's safety, he pulled over, right up behind the truck. Nothing looked amiss, but he could see his friend's head slumped over the steering wheel, and fear crawled up his stomach to his throat. He barely remembered to check for traffic as he swung open his door and jumped out. All he could think of was, 'please, God, let him be okay'.

He was relieved see that blond head head lift slightly as he made his way along the side of the truck, stepping in what he immediately recognized as vomit. Knocking gently on the window, Kendall's head slowly swiveled towards him, but there was no sign of recognition as Michael took in the swollen eyes and wet and dry tear streaks. Opening the door slowly, he searched the face he knew better than his own for clues as to what was going on. He was shocked at how vulnerable and sad this normally vital man looked. He appeared nothing like the person he'd always been in awe of... the one who belonged on the covers of health and fitness magazines.

"Are you okay, Deuce? Are you sick?"

Kendall seemed to come alive as he looked at Michael, and then down at the vomit at his feet. "You shouldn't be here, Ace. I'm okay... I was just sick to my stomach but I'm fine now... don't worry. You can go... and I'll... I'll leave in a couple of minutes. I just need to rest for a bit." Kendall turned his head away, now staring straight ahead.

Michael struggled to understand him. His voice sounded so hoarse and raspy, it made it difficult to decipher his words. It didn't take much to figure out he'd cried hard enough to lose much of his voice. His hands were gripping the steering wheel so tight it made all the veins in his hands stand out. Without that support, he looked like he might collapse. "What the fuck, man? Are you dismissing me? Don't be such an idiot. You are definitely not all right, so stop bullshitting me. I'm not either, but I will be... and so will you. I am not leaving you like this." He waited for a reaction, but there was none.

Eventually, Kendall put his head down for a minute, as if to hide, but Michael stood there and waited. When he looked back up, he still showed a vulnerability, but there was also determination there. That determination was something he'd seen many times, and no matter what it meant, it was good to see it back.

"We need to talk anyway," Michael muttered. He could be just as determined. "Wait here. I'll be right back." He hurried to his Chev, grabbed a bottle of water from the floor of the rear seat, and ran back. Kendall's head was back to resting on the steering wheel. Michael spoke gently. "Here, drink this." He handed him the water. "Just sips. You don't want to throw up again." The water seemed to help, and a more direct Kendall turned to look him in the eye. He returned the look before taking the water back from him.

"Ah... we've already talked, Ace. There isn't anything more to say so can we just leave it alone? Can you just leave me alone? Please? It's not up to you to take care of me. I can do that myself." His gaze was not exactly steady.

Michael could feel anger rising up, and struggled to keep a lid on it. He looked straight into Kendall's tortured, red-rimmed eyes, about to blast him, but that anger just up and disappeared. "Listen to me. You talked and I heard everything and I understand... but there is stuff I didn't say because I was an idiot and couldn't get anything to come out of my mouth. Don't worry, I promise I will respect your wishes, but not right now. I'm taking you home because you can't drive like this. I know you can take care of yourself... but you don't need to, okay?"

Kendall whipped his head back towards him and started to object, but Michael stared him down.

"Do you really want to challenge an officer of the law on this?" It felt good, just for a second, to play that trump card again. Normally, Kendall would have smirked, but this time he just sighed. Michael knew then he was resigned to his fate, and felt relief there wasn't a battle to be fought. He certainly didn't feel up to one after seeing his friend like this.

"My truck. What about my truck?" Kendall's concern was typical. He loved his 'Black Beauty' and Michael was pleased to see a normal reaction from the man.

"Don't worry about your little toy. I'll call Dispatch and ask them to get someone to pick it up and take it to 51 Division. They'll do that for me, no problem. You can get Beauty in the morning. Is that all right? Deuce... is that okay?"

Kendall seemed deflated again and it made Michael worry. Finally, he nodded to indicate his agreement.

"Okay, let's go then. Do you need anything from your truck?" All Michael got was a head shake, so he reached in and removed the keys from the ignition, putting them on the roof of the cab after detaching them from the others, for whoever came for the truck. He handed Kendall the remaining ones, but the man just sat there. Michael gave his shoulder a little shake to get him moving, earning him a valiant effort at a small smile.

After getting out of the truck, he stood looking at Michael, obviously getting ready to say something. He motioned them away from the messy pavement. "Let's wipe our feet on the grass before we get in my truck. I don't care if that piece of shit Ford smells, but my Chev deserves better." It was good to see a glimmer of the old grin appear on Kendall's face, and for a few seconds, he could pretend their friendship wasn't ending.

"Listen, Ace, I appreciate what you are trying to do here... for me." The croaking sound of his voice was hard to listen to. Michael handed him the water he was holding, and he took a couple of big gulps. After a few deep breaths, he tried again. "I know you must be pissed at me...," he trailed off as Michael held up his hand for him to stop.

"Just get in the truck, please. No more talking for a while. Your voice sounds like shit. I'll get you some lozenges, but let's get one thing clear, okay? I am not the least bit pissed off at you. I might be angry because sometimes the world just sucks, but I am not angry at you. So, let's get you something for your throat and get you home and we will talk then, all right?" Kendall looked skeptical, but nodded as he got in the truck, leaned his head back, and closed his eyes. Michael called Dispatch about the need for a pick up, letting them know where it was, and where he'd left the keys.

The drive to Kendall's apartment was quiet. He didn't stir when he stopped for lozenges, but Michael knew he wasn't sleeping. He pulled up in front of the ground floor unit and turned off the vehicle. Looking over, he was met by those turquoise eyes staring back. "Is it okay to come in... or do you want me to leave?" Now that they were here, he felt nervous, wondering if he was welcome anymore. Up until yesterday he practically lived here, but things were different now. Yup, he was back on the roller coaster and it felt plain awful. "If you rather I just left, it's okay... I don't want to make you uncomfortable." He couldn't help swallowing a few times when all moisture deserted his mouth.

"Are you uncomfortable being here, knowing how I feel about you?" Kendall croaked out the question, revealing his own uncertainty.

He looked over, the query catching him completely off guard, but Kendall was now looking away, out the side window, as if he dreaded the answer. He surprised himself when he realized he didn't have to think about the answer. "No, Deuce, knowing how you feel doesn't make me uncomfortable at all."

The man's head swung back, and Michael watched while Kendall searched his face. All there was to see was the truth and certainty he felt. He held out his hand and offered Kendall a lozenge, pleased to see it offered instant relief.

"Come on, let's go in. You wanted to talk and I want to hear what you have to say." Walking the short distance to his apartment, Kendall unlocked the door and left it open for him to follow just like always... only now it felt very different, knowing this was probably his last visit to his second home. Unbidden, tears welled up, but he willed them away immediately. Still, It was obvious Kendall had noticed. Emotion started to fill the living room where they had both taken their usual seats. "God, I am so tired, Ace, but I need to know something."

"Okay. What do you want to know?"

"Why doesn't it make you uncomfortable... the way I feel, I mean?"

"I know what you meant and the answer is, I don't know, it just doesn't. Sometimes it seems like we're the same person." He hesitated... wanting to get it right. "I mean, it's like you know everything about me and I know everything about you. Well... at least now I do." That was said with a smile that was answered by one from Kendall. The tension in the room seemed to lighten a little after that. "It may sound strange to you because it does to me, but I almost feel honored a person like you could love someone like me."

Kendall's eyebrows rose briefly, before frowning, as if he was trying to figure out what he'd meant.

Michael tried again to explain what he really didn't understand himself. "Candy told me tonight that she loved me."

Kendall's eyebrows rose again, but he didn't say anything.

"Her saying those words made me think of you saying them, and I realized I'd rather hear them from you than from her. Her saying it was a game, and complete bullshit. When you said it, it wasn't... a game, I mean. It was real, and in a way, it made me feel good, you saying you loved me. Fuck, that sounded stupid and cruel, didn't it? And selfish. Shit." He ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. "That's... that's not how I meant it to sound. I am not making light of your feelings. You asked me a question and I thought I could explain it, but I fucked it up." He lowered his head, feeling truly disgusted with himself.

"Slow down, Ace. Relax. You didn't fuck it up at all. I actually kind of understood what you were saying. I know you care about me and respect my feelings, and I know you would never toy with them. It's a better answer than I expected from... a person like you."

It was Michael's turn to raise his eyebrows as Kendall threw that phrase back at him.

"Well, you're always such a word butcher. Eloquence is not your strong suit." The indignant look Michael put on his face had the desired effect, because Kendall burst out laughing.

Seeing that broad beautiful smile, despite the ordeal they were going through, made Michael realize just how important it, and that face, were to him. The love he felt for the man in that moment was pretty strong. Kendall wasn't just a part of his life. He was most of it. Again, the thought of him not being in it was pretty sobering, and a pall was cast on the room once again. "You know that laugh of yours sounds more like geese honking than anything else." Michael wanted that lighter mood back. "Maybe you should drink some more water. He got up and went to the fridge and grabbed a bottle of Perrier for Kendall, and, on second thought, got one for himself. "Here you go... maybe the bubbles will help your throat."

Kendall thanked him, making eye contact, and Michael felt that connection again... the one that had clicked into place the first time they'd met.

"So what did you want to say to me?" Kendall's question was tinged with something that could have been fear... maybe even returning anguish.

"Oh." Michael was guilty of zoning out for a bit as he struggled to gather his thoughts, while Kendall sat quietly and waited. "Okay, well, first I want to apologize for the way I acted at Sticks." He was looking straight at his friend. "I was an insensitive jerk to be thinking about how this affected me, and not you. Fuck, man, I tried but I couldn't get my brain to work, and I am so sorry. I should have said something when you were talking to me. I heard everything you said, and I just sat there thinking poor me after you laid yourself wide open, and I feel ashamed of myself for that." He had to hesitate for a moment in order to get a grip on his shame. "I let you down at the worst possible time. I should have seen what you were going through all these years, and I didn't. I don't feel like I was a very good friend to you."

Kendall's eyes began to glisten, but he didn't look away as Michael continued.

"I let you walk out of there thinking I was pissed off because I couldn't snap out of my own misery and be there for you. I was an asshole... a real dipshit asshole. I really need you to forgive me, Deuce. I promise you I will respect your wishes because I want you to be happy. I didn't know how miserable you were, and I should have seen it." A choking sound escaped before he resumed speaking. "So, I'm asking you to forgive me? Can you do that?" Those last words came out as little more than a whisper... one more plea for an evening filled with them.

Kendall slowly stood, and took a step forward. Blue eyes locked with blue eyes as he quietly uttered, "Come here." Michael stood and Kendall held his arms open. He walked into the slightly taller man's arms and they hugged each other tightly. He was acutely aware this was a goodbye hug. They held on for a couple of minutes, and Michael pulled in his friend's scent as their heads leaned against one another.

The only words uttered were said into Michael's ear. "There is nothing to forgive, Ace." A minute later, Michael silently walked out of the apartment, pulling the door closed behind him. He walked slowly to his beloved Chevy, got in and drove away, taking one last look at his once best friend. Kendall was watching him from the other side of the living room window.

 

 


 

Many thanks to Timothy M. and his brilliant editing assistance. You rock!
For those who took the time to read, thank you, and I would love to hear your opinion in a Review
Copyright © 2017 Headstall; All Rights Reserved.
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Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

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For a moment I was hoping, but now I'm all sad again. :,( Why didn't Michael take the next step? But I guess it's unfair to expect it of him already. But why, oh why did he leave? Even if he wanted to respect Kendall's wishes to be left alone, it's still not the best thing to do. But I can understand his actions, they are both honorable men.

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:,( Oh gosh, this emotional pitch is really a bit intense. But I liked seeing Michael trying to calm Kendall down and take care of him. It's like their connection is so deep that Michael doesn't even recognize that it could be more? Or is he just totally straight and that's what has to be accepted here? So confusing... Clearly this is no ordinary friendship...
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I want to use an expletive, but it isn't sufficient to describe the depth of emotion this chapter raised in me. The only bright spot for me was Michael finally seeing Candy in her true colors. I am hopeful that at least now, he knows what love truly is when it's offered...and I think he is just getting an idea that what he feels for Kendall might be the same thing.

 

I don't think it's wise of Kendall to break off all contact with Michael...it won't help with is healing, just mask the torture he will go through. And it isn't fair to Michael because it will take him longer to sort out his own feelings. He may not have considered loving another man, but loving his best friend is a different animal entirely. If there is a chance that he could love Kendall, it is going to take longer now, and put more agony on both of them.

 

Seriously, Gary...I was crying before they even left Kendall's truck...the scene at the apartment just put me away. :(

 

I don't know if I'm braced enough for the next chapter, but I'll be biting my nails up to my elbows before it's posted.

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On 01/15/2015 04:38 PM, Timothy M. said:
For a moment I was hoping, but now I'm all sad again. :,( Why didn't Michael take the next step? But I guess it's unfair to expect it of him already. But why, oh why did he leave? Even if he wanted to respect Kendall's wishes to be left alone, it's still not the best thing to do. But I can understand his actions, they are both honorable men.
This really is a continuation of the first chapter,Tim.Alot has happened to them and between them in this one rather short evening. Michael left because he cares and can't do anything but respect and go along with what Kendall thinks he needs. Believe me when I say, he didn't want to leave, as bad as it is, they are in a better place, at least individually, than there were at the end of chapter one. Michael would do just about anything for Kendall. the same goes for Kendall except that it has become unbearable to be around Michael even though it is what he wants most. Both mens' lives have to evolve.Thanks for caring about my guys,Tim xo
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On 01/15/2015 04:43 PM, Irritable1 said:
:,( Oh gosh, this emotional pitch is really a bit intense. But I liked seeing Michael trying to calm Kendall down and take care of him. It's like their connection is so deep that Michael doesn't even recognize that it could be more? Or is he just totally straight and that's what has to be accepted here? So confusing... Clearly this is no ordinary friendship...
Sorry Irri. My intent was to lighten up this chapter but the guys and my gut said that the night wasn't finished. Michael told me he needed his chance to get a better handle on things . He wasn't happy with the way they left it and he needed to sort things out with Candy and of course Kendall.I wish I could say where they will end up but you are right...this is no ordinary friendship and they have a connection that is rare and quite beautiful. I hope you can hang in there. Thanks and cheers
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On 01/15/2015 05:11 PM, LitLover said:
Another deeply sad, but beautiful chapter.
Thank you so much LL.The bottom line with these two is that they need each other, one way or another. Their connection from the first day they met, has been unique and very real. There is a great big fly in the ointment right now so they will have to evolve in order to keep that connection. It is very sad right now, but at least all the cards are on the table :)I will see if I can make you happy...Cheers
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On 01/15/2015 05:35 PM, ColumbusGuy said:
I want to use an expletive, but it isn't sufficient to describe the depth of emotion this chapter raised in me. The only bright spot for me was Michael finally seeing Candy in her true colors. I am hopeful that at least now, he knows what love truly is when it's offered...and I think he is just getting an idea that what he feels for Kendall might be the same thing.

 

I don't think it's wise of Kendall to break off all contact with Michael...it won't help with is healing, just mask the torture he will go through. And it isn't fair to Michael because it will take him longer to sort out his own feelings. He may not have considered loving another man, but loving his best friend is a different animal entirely. If there is a chance that he could love Kendall, it is going to take longer now, and put more agony on both of them.

 

Seriously, Gary...I was crying before they even left Kendall's truck...the scene at the apartment just put me away. :(

 

I don't know if I'm braced enough for the next chapter, but I'll be biting my nails up to my elbows before it's posted.

Thank you CG. Your review is wonderful. If it's any consolation, I cried too when I was writing this...a lot and I still cry when I read it.I guess we're both big old saps. This part is the worst, because there is an end of sorts. But as I said in other responses, they need each other. I think it was very important for Michael to see Candy juxtaposed against Kendall. It should make him think about the women he is choosing to have in his life. It should also help him understand why Kendall has to do this.Michael has had his women and his best friend. Kendall needs someone, a man, for himself.The only way out for Kendall is to cut the man he truly loves out of his life, and now Michael gets that. We will just have to wait and see how he handles it. Thanks again, my friend...cheers
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Okay, this may sound stupid, but I'm glad Michael left. This needs time. Time to sound out their feeling, what not seeing each other daily means for them, what other possibilities they have, what the consequences of certain decisions would mean etc.

It's a good chapter, Gary. It showed how deeply they feel for each other, they did talk but they didn't rush things. And now I'm curious about the next one.

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I ache for these two ... they obviously have developed a love for one another that many committed couples would envy. Their friendship has been thrown into turmoil by Kendall's revelation but such deeply held feelings aren't so easily dismissed. Separation is not going to resolve anything other than to emphasize their connection.

These first two chapters have evoked strong emotions not something maintainable. I look forward to the following chapters to see how you carry the story forward.

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Oh, man that was so sad, watching both of them hurting so much. It broke my heart as they parted at the end. Certainly hoping for more--with happier times for them soon! Great story.

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The level of emotion in this story, so far, is exhausting. In spite of that, I have been drawn right in and am anxiously (!) waiting for more. Good job.

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On 01/15/2015 08:54 PM, aditus said:
Okay, this may sound stupid, but I'm glad Michael left. This needs time. Time to sound out their feeling, what not seeing each other daily means for them, what other possibilities they have, what the consequences of certain decisions would mean etc.

It's a good chapter, Gary. It showed how deeply they feel for each other, they did talk but they didn't rush things. And now I'm curious about the next one.

Hey Adi...It doesn't sound stupid at all. I think you have it exactly right. They have this amazing connection and friendship but there was a secret that had to come out before it killed that connection completely. There is no doubt that damage has been done, but as you pointed out, there is an upside. Self realization is a wonderful thing if you put it to good use. It remains to be seen how these guys handle this deliberate separation. Thanks for the insightful review on these guys...Cheers
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On 01/16/2015 12:04 AM, dughlas said:
I ache for these two ... they obviously have developed a love for one another that many committed couples would envy. Their friendship has been thrown into turmoil by Kendall's revelation but such deeply held feelings aren't so easily dismissed. Separation is not going to resolve anything other than to emphasize their connection.

These first two chapters have evoked strong emotions not something maintainable. I look forward to the following chapters to see how you carry the story forward.

It is so great to hear from you dugh. I think you and I have the same kind of romantic heart.They have this amazing friendship and connection but the fact is, they weren't taking care of it. Kendall kept part of himself hidden and Michael really was oblivious. For six years he has let himself ignore signs that should have there. There is none so blind as those who will not see. Because of Deuce's eventual bravery, out of desperation, the blinders are off. Now we will see the measure of these two men who love each other in different ways. Thanks for visiting and supporting my story, dugh...It means so much to me...cheers
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On 01/16/2015 01:02 AM, craftingmom said:
Oh, man that was so sad, watching both of them hurting so much. It broke my heart as they parted at the end. Certainly hoping for more--with happier times for them soon! Great story.
Thank you so much for taking the time to comment. Sorry for the double dose of sadness but you have made me cry and broke my heart a few times...no complaints from me...I am learning that I don't have all the control in where we go...I know where we are headed, but the guys have a say...it is their voices after all. I tried to get to a better, lighter place but the guys had things they needed to do, still. Michael demanded his say and my gut said to let him. Candy's impact in this story,is not really over...and Michael needed to deal with her bigoted ass. I hope you stick around,CM...having your support is an incredible lift for me...Cheers
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On 01/16/2015 01:25 AM, charlieocho said:
The level of emotion in this story, so far, is exhausting. In spite of that, I have been drawn right in and am anxiously (!) waiting for more. Good job.
Hey Charlie, I agree. It is exhausting to me too. But i want to show what comes from honesty. Humans have such a great ability to kid themselves, and only see what they want to see,and there is a price for that. Both men are paying a price now, their friendship is in ruins because they shouldn't go on the way they had been.A part of Kendall was dying so thinks have to evolve in order to save this incredible connection they have. I know it is 'too much' right now but there is always hope. I am very happy that you think I am doing a good job...Cheers
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Yeah, it was a tough chapter, but seeing the strength of the basic relationship between Michael and Kendall is remarkably uplifting. Yeah, it's been a rollercoaster, but the best instincts of both men seem to be coming through!

Looking forward to the next chapter.

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Looks like I am late to the party again but better late than never! I am beginning to dislike having a day job.

A well written, heart wrenching chapter. You know you have gotten to me when I start shouting at the characters to smarten up!

My only complaint is a lack of a discussion forum, so if you will excuse me I will go fix that right now!

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On 01/16/2015 03:41 AM, Kitt said:
Looks like I am late to the party again but better late than never! I am beginning to dislike having a day job.

A well written, heart wrenching chapter. You know you have gotten to me when I start shouting at the characters to smarten up!

My only complaint is a lack of a discussion forum, so if you will excuse me I will go fix that right now!

Hey Robert, I am so glad you can see the uplifting aspect of their relationship. It is a friendship of incredible depth. It was a very hard chapter to write,and I was emotional all through it because I pretty much wrote it non-stop. At the end I was drained but I felt a certain kind of calmness...I chose not to see an ending so much as a beginning. Thanks for supporting me Robert. Working with you taught me a lot about myself and I hope people continue to support your Landfall...it is remarkable...Cheers
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On 01/16/2015 03:19 AM, Robert Rex said:
Yeah, it was a tough chapter, but seeing the strength of the basic relationship between Michael and Kendall is remarkably uplifting. Yeah, it's been a rollercoaster, but the best instincts of both men seem to be coming through!

Looking forward to the next chapter.

Dammit, I pushed the wrong button. Robert, my reply to you is under Kitt's review. Sorry Kitt, but my reply to you is here. I thought of you often when I was writing this chapter.I thought you might like the demise of this bigoted bitch after your comments about the last chapter. I also made sure you got your wish in Michael catching up with Kendall.Thank you so much for coming back and continuing to encourage me...a discussion forum? I don't know if I am ready for that...you're an amazing person Kitt...thank you...Cheers
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You really know how to tug on the heart strings. That was gut wrenching in the best sense of it. I could feel their distress. I could hear Kendall's raspy voice. Great job and keep going!!!! It's awesome.

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On 01/16/2015 04:28 AM, Cole Matthews said:
You really know how to tug on the heart strings. That was gut wrenching in the best sense of it. I could feel their distress. I could hear Kendall's raspy voice. Great job and keep going!!!! It's awesome.
OMG, Cole.Such a great review to be reading, from such a talented man. I am so stoked that you think it is awesome.This might sound weird, but I could feel my throat get sore as I wrote the words for Kendall.I guess we don't just feel their emotional pain as our own. This was gut wrenching chapter to write, but it surprised me how it poured out. It has only been two chapters, but I am realizing that letting go is the whole key for me. Each aspect of writing that I learn is a little revelation for me and takes away some fear.I keep your words from your last review in mind...be fearless and honest...and that helped me with this one. Much respect and many thanks for coming back...Cheers
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Congrats on the story. I knew that if you ever wrote a story it would be epic and emotional. :thumbup: I was reading the first chapter last night when you posted this chapter and I decided to wait until morning to read it because I was feeling sad from Kendall's confession. Glad I waited. lol. Michael and Kendall's relationship is one of those that will stand the test of time and will last, no matter the circumstances. Yeah, it will have to evolve now, but it will still be strong. Michael loves Kendall but right now he doesn't know the depth of that love. Of course I don't want Michael to remain straight, especially if his taste in women trends towards the likes of Candy! :pissed: But this could be a story of two friends who remain close even if they don't become a couple. It's happened...won't make me happy ;) but it could happen. I'm all buckled up and ready to ride the emotional rollercoaster you're about to make us ride. :worship: I'm hooked.

I guess I'm going to have to write my own reviews for this story, since I can't just ditto yours like I do for other stories. :funny:

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On 01/16/2015 05:08 AM, LadyDe said:
Congrats on the story. I knew that if you ever wrote a story it would be epic and emotional. :thumbup: I was reading the first chapter last night when you posted this chapter and I decided to wait until morning to read it because I was feeling sad from Kendall's confession. Glad I waited. lol. Michael and Kendall's relationship is one of those that will stand the test of time and will last, no matter the circumstances. Yeah, it will have to evolve now, but it will still be strong. Michael loves Kendall but right now he doesn't know the depth of that love. Of course I don't want Michael to remain straight, especially if his taste in women trends towards the likes of Candy! :pissed: But this could be a story of two friends who remain close even if they don't become a couple. It's happened...won't make me happy ;) but it could happen. I'm all buckled up and ready to ride the emotional rollercoaster you're about to make us ride. :worship: I'm hooked.

I guess I'm going to have to write my own reviews for this story, since I can't just ditto yours like I do for other stories. :funny:

Thank you LadyDe. What an amazing review. I am glad you have to write your own because you are so good at it. You know, in the past I have been surprised a few times about some authors responses to my reviews...now I totally get it. They provide motivation, encouragement, confidence,appreciation and an indescribable feeling somewhere between respect and caring. A good review, like this one, provides all of that and more. Reviews are like lifeblood that I think I might start to crave. I love that you get these guys, and despite what may happen, I will try to take you to a good place and I won't purposely toy with you...I will just tell the story they have been making me feel.These guys have been in my head for quite a while, mostly when I am laying down to sleep. Now that I have let them out, they have become real, so I care about them too. I am glad they helped me hook you LadyDe...Cheers
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  • Site Administrator

Wow. This was absolutely heart-wrenching. You brought the characters to life very realistically and I felt their anguish. I wanted to punch Candy in the face for Michael! :pissed: I thought it was very nicely done how you portrayed the difference between him hearing the two "I love you"s. Keeping in mind the name of your story, you are holding a royal flush in your hands, sir. Very well done. I can't wait to read more. I need to buy more tissues, first though. :,(

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