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Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

So Weeps the Willow - 9. Sobriety -Day 8

You know, blog, for the first time in a long time, I feel good. I mean I physically feel good, hopeful, and pretty calm. Thanks for that.

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Day 8

 

Things are getting strange. At work tonight, Nats was acting weird, one minute being her old self, the next giving me the cold, fucking ice-cold, shoulder. My mom called and told me to come pick up the last of my things from her apartment. She was very distant and her voice sounded a little hollow. Eddie was supposed to call me, but didn’t. My dad isn’t answering his phone, which is not like him. This morning when I woke up, I found an empty bucket in my room. I’d never seen it before and don’t know where it came from.

Like I said, things are feeling off.

This makes last night seem a little surreal. Eddie and I got together and talked, really talked. He wants us to date. I agreed without hesitation. Against my better judgment. The whole time, I thought about that night, the other one. Regardless, this is crazy.

Apparently, he can’t get me out of his head. Eddie confessed our time apart has been hell for him. He never stopped loving me. My actions were driving him insane, so he kept his distance. When I’d pick up a guy, it stabbed at his heart. I saw in his eyes how much pain I’d put him through.

God, I feel so bad. How did I not see this? It was going on right before my eyes. Yet, I couldn’t see it.

At the end of our talk, we agreed to take it slow. We’d actually date and get closer again while being careful about the other’s space. Eddie seemed so happy, relieved, and content. I admit, I finally felt it was good decision. I need to turn my back on this drunken debauchery that has gotten me nowhere. It’s not like my other option was going to commit, not to me. No, definitely not.

Then I went to work today and Nats was back to her old self. It was great. We were laughing and joking. She apologized for her ‘bitchy moment’ claiming it was a bad cramp day. I didn’t really believe that, but I thought it was the effort that counted. She was trying.

At first break, I told her about Eddie and me getting back together. She listened intently, nodding occasionally, and finally gave me a hug. Later when we were bussing a table, she gave me the silent treatment, not responding to my comments and questions.

I cornered her a few minutes later, asking what was wrong. She told me it was nothing. She was tired. It had been a long day at the studio and she didn’t feel like talking. That’s not like her. Nats is always talking. Something was off. Then she got a call. I remember her ducking out to take it. We got busy again, but I wondered what it was about. I think I know. That’s why she’s pissed.

After work, she was slipping out the door and I stopped her. She said, ‘Leave me the fuck alone, Jake. I’m tired of your games and your silly queer foolishness. Unlike you, I have aspirations and you have fantasies. You relive stupid fantasies, I’m sick of people like you, who think this is all a game. It’s not.’

Even now I can’t believe her. Does she think Eddie and me making a go of it is a fantasy? Am I nothing to her but a shiny object or a pet? I feel so demeaned, insulted that one of my best friends would turn on me like that. Just like my fucking family.

I left the restaurant and saw I had a voice mail. I listened as my mother told me to get out of her life. She said I should contact ‘your friend Chad and get the rest of your shit’ and not to bother her anymore. She said it was time I lived my own life and stopped trying to manage hers. I’m not even sure what that means. She wanted money from me all the time. Mom was forever calling me and begging me for a ride or a visit or for me to take her out for dinner.

Now she’s cut me out of her life?

I called dad. He didn’t answer so I left a message. Lately, he’s been better and he’d call back within an hour or two. It’s almost one in the morning and nothing. I guess he may be busy with something, however this isn’t like him. My dad is now the reliable one. He doesn’t let me swing in the wind.

And then there’s Eddie. We talked before work. He told me he’d call at ten o’clock and we could get together. He hadn’t called, so I called him. I don’t know what’s going on. This seems odd. This morning, things seemed to be coming together. I had Eddie back in my life. Mom was pissed at me, but that was nothing new. Nats was a good friend I thought I could rely on in spite of some rough patches recently. My dad was my rock.

Now tonight, it seems it’s all fallen apart. I’m feeling scared and alone. I know I promised not to drink, but the urge is so strong. Is gin my only friend now?

Quit it. Jake, you’re becoming as unraveled as during the stupid panic attack earlier this week. I don’t know why I let my nerves get the best of me.

Eddie got busy with something and calling me slipped his mind. After all, our relationship is really new again. Nats is jealous or something. She’ll get over it in due time. Mom’s just upset she lost her place and has to move. Dad’s probably helping her or something.

I need to get a grip.

I’m so glad I started this blog. I’m even happier no one else is reading it. Just getting this into words has helped. The jittery feelings I had before I started writing have eased. My leg stopped twitching. My breathing is steady and stable. I’m going to be okay. Everything will be okay.

I still don’t know about the bucket though. Why was there an empty bucket in my apartment this morning? I didn’t put it there. Weird.

Well, that’s my life. Until tomorrow my dear blog, I will faithfully continue to record my experiment with sobriety.

You know, blog, for the first time in a long time, I feel good. I mean I physically feel good, hopeful, and pretty calm. Thanks for that. Till tomorrow!

"Technology has changed that. We are now watching people using social media to express themselves. They are on Facebook, Twitter, blogs, Goodreads, and countless sites expressing themselves and talking about their lives. What they say speaks to their lives, and sometimes it tells the story of them. The facts are out there. Facts about what is happening are revealed. Yet, we are still struggling to understand how people reveal themselves publicly, and the law pretends it’s still secret… private." - Excerpt from the prologue of So Weeps the Willow.
Copyright © 2017 Cole Matthews; All Rights Reserved.
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Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 
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Chapter Comments



Did Jake do or say something to everyone that’s caused them to act so strangely? And if Jake doesn’t recognize the bucket, who put it there? Can someone fall off the wagon and not be aware of it the following morning?

 

Something odd has happened…

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I'm as confused as Jake is. I'm sure that is your intent, Cole. :)  I can come up with all kinds of theories from blackouts to sleep walking to delusions (the bucket???), but instead I'll be patient. One speculation I'll make is that Nat and Eddie are communicating... was it him that called her? Has he been scared off? Yeah... I know... stay tuned... cheers... Gary....

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1 hour ago, avidreadr said:

Very strange.  Sort of reminds me of that old movie, Gaslight.   Seems like someone is trying to drive Jake crazy or back to drinking. 

Is Nat really that evil? Or is it Jake’s mother? Who else has an incentive to drive Jake back to drink?

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1 hour ago, rockycs said:

 

Option 1: Cole has access to much better drugs than the rest of us.

 

 

HAHAHA! This had me :rofl: and :lmao:! Awesome line, rocky! :lol:

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I feel bad for Jake. Things are starting to unravel and he doesn't know why. I am anxiously waiting for the next reveal. What will happen? Thanks for more good story.

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Ok, yes something is afoot.. But I’m more inclined to believe it’s Jake who messed up and doesn’t remember, than a third party. Who would be so cruel.  

What if he was so anxious about meeting Eddie he drank himself into a stupor, Eddie had to clean him up and made calls to let people know what was up. It would explain Nat, his dad... oh, I don’t know. 

 

Until the next chapter I might go nuts myself.. 

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Ok... Jake, you are not fine. This is getting scary, actually. What else is he up to that he doesn't remember? Has he lashed out at Nat? Been abusive to his dad? Also, starting a relationship now is probably the worst idea ever. Friendship - yes. Lovers - no...  

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On ‎2017‎-‎10‎-‎24 at 9:08 PM, rockycs said:

I am looking forward to seeing how this progresses.  I hope the suspense tag is correct.  There seems to be more going on here than has been able to be developed in the initial chapters and I like a good mystery. 😊

 

 

So a mystery it is.  I did find Cole's 2013 story "Door Country Mystery".  It "serves as an introduction to the detective in my upcoming murder mystery 'So Weeps The Willow'".  Seems "upcoming" has taken awhile :)    

 

So someone is going to die here - but at the beginning of three parts we don't yet know who.  Of the five or so characters so far I haven't hit on a candidate.

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On 10/24/2017 at 11:08 PM, rockycs said:

 

"Technology has changed that,  We are now watching people using social media to express themselves............"  - Excerpt from the prologue of So Weeps The Willow. 

 

Um, no I don't remember a prologue. 

 

Option 1: Cole has access to much better drugs than the rest of us.

Option 2: There is a reference to another "So Weeps the Willow Story" (but not in the current list of the author's works)

Option 3: Other readers have more insight than me. "Twyla"?  I think the grey area comments mean something but I have yet to  grasp the context.

I am looking forward to seeing how this progresses.  I hope the suspense tag is correct.  There seems to be more going on here than has been able to be developed in the initial chapters and I like a good mystery. 😊

 

 

 

I'm going to respond to your comment early, to clarify.  The prologue will be posted next week.  It hasn't been published anywhere else.  

 

Second, I am not on any drugs, though I never minded taking a little Percocet when I had a broken bone.

 

Finally, Twyla is a character in future chapters.  She is important,  actually, very much so.  

 

PS, I didn't remember I'd referenced 'So Weeps' in Door County Mystery.  The ideas behind it are from many years ago.  It's finally come to fruition.  I'm very excited about what is developing.  

 

Thanks so much!!! ;)

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On 10/24/2017 at 6:31 PM, droughtquake said:

Did Jake do or say something to everyone that’s caused them to act so strangely? And if Jake doesn’t recognize the bucket, who put it there? Can someone fall off the wagon and not be aware of it the following morning?

 

Something odd has happened…

 

No.  Jake didn't really cause this.   You are right about something happening. 

 

Tomorrow there is the last section of Sobriety.  We are moving into a new part called Discovery.  

 

Thanks for the comment.  :)

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On 10/24/2017 at 6:41 PM, Canuk said:

I suspect a third party is either interfering or thinking they are doing good in some half baked misguided way.

 

Your instincts are quite good.   Someone is doing something half-baked and rather nefarious.  

 

I appreciate the comment and hope you enjoy what comes next.  

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On 10/24/2017 at 8:52 PM, Lisa said:

Yeah, Idk what the hell is going on. Something's definitely up with Nats. She's too hot and cold recently, and it's not her normal behavior. Same with Jake's dad. Why isn't he calling Jake back? His mom, forget about her. He doesn't need her co-dependency shit right now. And Eddie, wtf?? He already stood Jake up? He didn't call him? He claims he never stopped loving him, and he couldn't get him out of his head...that's certainly not someone who would FORGET to call Jake! The bucket is odd too. Who put it there if it wasn't Jake? I ditto Drought's question: could Jake have been on a bender and not remembered?

 

What is going on? I feel like I'm reading The Twilight Zone! :lol:

 

Can't wait for the last part of this section, Cole! :)

 

There are issues with all Jake's loved ones.  Jake is confused, but he wasn't drinking.  He's confused.  I think all people in Jake's position would be.  

 

Make sure you read the new prologue.  

Thanks for the lovely review!  So much more to come.  

 

Cole

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On 10/24/2017 at 9:01 PM, Efmaer said:

There needs to be a confused emoji.

 

 

I hope it doesn't remain confusing.  There are issues going on.  Tomorrow we'll see more going on.  

 

Jake is a troubled man.  Troubled men have lives that aren't linear and this is definitely true for Jake. 

Thanks for the comment.   I'll keep this in mind, because I want Jake's story to inform.  

:)

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On 10/24/2017 at 9:29 PM, Headstall said:

I'm as confused as Jake is. I'm sure that is your intent, Cole. :)  I can come up with all kinds of theories from blackouts to sleep walking to delusions (the bucket???), but instead I'll be patient. One speculation I'll make is that Nat and Eddie are communicating... was it him that called her? Has he been scared off? Yeah... I know... stay tuned... cheers... Gary....

 

Thanks Gary.  I get from your comment, you understand things aren't good.  Jake has moved in the right direction, but is it enough?  Nats and Eddie are not exactly friends, but know each other.  How could they not?  And with that, I believe you are dissecting the situation.  Jake's mom is a problem.  We don't really know his dad at this point.  

 

Tomorrow you'll know more.  I appreciate the wonderful analysis.  

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On 10/24/2017 at 10:01 PM, avidreadr said:

Very strange.  Sort of reminds me of that old movie, Gaslight.   Seems like someone is trying to drive Jake crazy or back to drinking. 

 

 

Gaslight is a wonderful movie and story.  There may be elements within this tale reflecting those ideas.  However, I'm not a fan of 'gaslighting' . 

 

Thanks for some awesome insights!

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On 10/24/2017 at 11:05 PM, droughtquake said:

Is Nat really that evil? Or is it Jake’s mother? Who else has an incentive to drive Jake back to drink?

 

Interesting.  There isn't anyone really 'evil' in this story.  But, I like where this is going.  

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On 10/25/2017 at 2:44 AM, JeffreyL said:

I feel bad for Jake. Things are starting to unravel and he doesn't know why. I am anxiously waiting for the next reveal. What will happen? Thanks for more good story.

 

Jake has it rough.  You are right.  We will see more tomorrow.  I can't wait to see what you think.

 

Thank you,

 

Cole

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On 10/25/2017 at 4:32 AM, Defiance19 said:

Ok, yes something is afoot.. But I’m more inclined to believe it’s Jake who messed up and doesn’t remember, than a third party. Who would be so cruel.  

What if he was so anxious about meeting Eddie he drank himself into a stupor, Eddie had to clean him up and made calls to let people know what was up. It would explain Nat, his dad... oh, I don’t know. 

 

Until the next chapter I might go nuts myself.. 

 

Jake is having issues.  He's not drunk, but he definitely put himself into a problematic situation.  You are right about something, Jake isn't in a good place in the end.  

 

Your instincts are absolutely right.  

Thanks,

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19 minutes ago, Cole Matthews said:

Make sure you read the new prologue.  

.  

 

 

The 'new' prologue??? Going into it right now! Thanks for the heads up (head's??) up, Cole!! :) 

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