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    AC Benus
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Poetry posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

One Hundred and Fifty-Five Sonnets - 36. damning apathy

**Sonnets Nos. 71~73 are unhappy. These represent a rough patch, but the sun is coming out again, I promise.**

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Sonnet No. 71

 

Crystalline is your cruelty because,

For my one slip of tongue, you lash out with

A thousand stripes more than hatred does,

And a malice meted plain and therewith.

My error was never intended to hurt –

Though it did – but yours was aimed for my soul.

Did I warrant that level of desert,

Just 'cause I lost one moment of control?

I do not understand that much anger,

For it must have been seeded very deep

To vitriol-flash as it might occur,

And every abuse upon me heap.

But a man can stand up, and take it all –

If Love stands beside him, he will not fall.

 

 

Sonnet No. 72

 

Through the void we're told to believe as God,

Is there any apathy as damning

As the way you've run me over roughshod,

Or any faith cracked that's more alarming?

Trying to come to grips, I wash my face,

And the gritty burn feels like some relief

For my head roiling like a basket case,

Struggles to grip onto a new belief.

In the emptiness we're taught that's holy

My eyes lift up, and water cascades down,

But what to see except purgatory,

When every encouragement is a frown?

There's no way to end this feeling except,

Seeing it through the tears that I have wept.

 

 

_

Copyright © 2018 AC Benus; All Rights Reserved.
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Poetry posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 
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it's hard to "like" writings like this. the words and how the are arranged are beautiful, but the pain behind them and that brought them out, is not. :hug:

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1 hour ago, mogwhy said:

it's hard to "like" writings like this. the words and how the are arranged are beautiful, but the pain behind them and that brought them out, is not. :hug:

Thanks, Moggy. I appreciate the feedback. These were not easy write, and not so east to post either. 

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This hits close to home. The first 71 has been played so many times. Many years ago, I was in a verbally abusive relationship. I was slashed so many times from that tongue. Just so malicious. 
Now when I'm under attack, words become my weapon. Results from that relationship. 
I feel your anguish and pain AC. Beautifully expressed. Words spoken and written set us free. 

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You give us glimpses into your soul, your innermost thoughts. The idea that words can't hurt is woefully wrong. They can, and they do. I'm glad better times will come.  :)

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Both are beautiful. There is beauty in the terrible and in pain but later, when you can look back. You tell us of that pain, exquisitely. xoxo

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These are beautiful and dreadfully sad, as others have commented. The imagery of hurt and pain is all too well done - the cascade of water which cannot cleanse the ache, the sting of lashes from another's tongue, explosive nature of unforeseen anger - we cannot escape these images, any more than the poet could escape what hurts so much. I grieve that you were so badly bruised. 

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You described your hurt well here. Being on the receiving end of another's harsh words can be a jarring experience that cuts us to the core, and you wrote about it well in the first sonnet. The second sonnet really showcases your sadness and loss of hope. These sonnets are much different from the others I've read from you previously. Thank you for being honest and forthcoming with your pain. Sending hugs your way AC, thank you again :hug:.

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On 10/10/2017 at 11:13 PM, BlindAmbition said:

This hits close to home. The first 71 has been played so many times. Many years ago, I was in a verbally abusive relationship. I was slashed so many times from that tongue. Just so malicious. 
Now when I'm under attack, words become my weapon. Results from that relationship. 
I feel your anguish and pain AC. Beautifully expressed. Words spoken and written set us free. 

Thank you, JP, for sharing your thoughts and experiences. These few poems in the middle of the whole collection are a bit difficult for me to discuss. But thank you as always for supporting me. 

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On 10/10/2017 at 11:43 PM, deville said:

Beautifully written poetry despite hard imagery and disconcerting content. 

Thank you, deville. I appreciate your comments and support

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On 10/11/2017 at 1:19 AM, northie said:

You give us glimpses into your soul, your innermost thoughts. The idea that words can't hurt is woefully wrong. They can, and they do. I'm glad better times will come.  :)

Thank you, northie, for your thoughts and kindness. Yes, happy poems shall return after the 'bump.'

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On 10/11/2017 at 5:13 AM, Mikiesboy said:

Both are beautiful. There is beauty in the terrible and in pain but later, when you can look back. You tell us of that pain, exquisitely. xoxo

Ah, thank you, Tim. You do me good to see your thoughts expressed here. Thanks once again. 

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On 10/11/2017 at 6:30 AM, Parker Owens said:

These are beautiful and dreadfully sad, as others have commented. The imagery of hurt and pain is all too well done - the cascade of water which cannot cleanse the ache, the sting of lashes from another's tongue, explosive nature of unforeseen anger - we cannot escape these images, any more than the poet could escape what hurts so much. I grieve that you were so badly bruised. 

Thank you, Parker. These are hard to comment on for me, but I do appreciate your thoughts here. Thanks once again. 

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On 10/11/2017 at 7:07 PM, Dmrman said:

This shouldn't be yet it is... that we have to deflect the issues bestowed  from others... tim's right .. the healing taking place will reflect and make you strong . The soul hides in various compartments a safety net... to be dealt with when the times are right... till then speak your heart, your soul. your hurt .... and the passion will result in healing....It is sad you were badly bruised but your words will mentor others hurting... Thank you!!!:hug:

Thank you, Dmrman! I like your notion of compartments; I can't argue against the basic fact that we all do that with our emotional experiences. I appreciate your comments, and thanks for reading my Sonnets!  

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On 10/19/2017 at 9:12 AM, BDANR said:

You described your hurt well here. Being on the receiving end of another's harsh words can be a jarring experience that cuts us to the core, and you wrote about it well in the first sonnet. The second sonnet really showcases your sadness and loss of hope. These sonnets are much different from the others I've read from you previously. Thank you for being honest and forthcoming with your pain. Sending hugs your way AC, thank you again :hug:.

Thank you, B! Your comments here are really appreciated. I suppose pain is actually more of a universal experience than love.... Sad. I hope someday we evolve to higher states where we think about our actions on others. Thanks again. 

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